Chapter 14: In the Name of Fairness

Twin fires burned in the yard of the Oozora compound. The occasional shouts of 'ow' had drawn in curious observers earlier in the in the week, but by now almost all had grown bored. Suzume and Genma were the last remaining members of the audience, though Ranma was effectively an audience member too. Suzume was mostly there because her pig 'Co-chan' had gone missing a few days earlier, so she didn't have any other good distractions. Genma was there to provide 'insightful tips'.

"Why do you keep shying away boy?" Genma asked. "Are you going to let Hibari be more of a man than you?"

"I can barely handle lukewarm water. Fire is a bit hotter ya know!" Ranma shot back, even as the redhead tried to get closer.

"I can only manage to grab, like, three or four," Hibari mumbled. "Cologne could grab a whole pile."

"You is faster than Shui. Can only grab one or two."

"'Are'. You are faster," A voice suddenly corrected.

The group turned turned to see the short older man with a mustache, long hair, and very odd sunglasses.

"I'm just a humble literary scholar who was wandering past. Never mind me. Farewell," the man announced, before wandering out of sight.

All five of them sat in stunned silence for a few moments. What type of person casually wanders into a Yakuza compound?

"Hey, are you coming to the fair or not?" Ibari asked, arriving in a highly traditional festive outfit.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Hibari cried out as she leapt to her feet. "I've got to go change into my yukata. Oh, and the one I picked out for Ranma too."

"Hey, wait, why should I go?" Ranma grumbled.

"It should get your mind off your troubles," Ibari declared, "And I would appreciate you and your father helping with security. Don't worry about that too much though. Enjoy your evening with your fiancé."

"Now wait just a minute," Genma began, his voice nervous. "Just because my boy is stuck for now doesn't mean it will last."

"It would make your debt much easier to forgive if your child does stay a girl and gets married to Hibari," Ibari replied.

Ranma wanted to protest, but was being dragged off by Hibari. When they got to her room the two blue floral patterned yukata were lying on Hibari's bed. Ranma picked up the shorter one, and had to admit it wasn't half bad. Hibari had good taste.

"Why do you have a tank of piranhas?" Suba asked his assistant at the goldfish scooping stall. Why did Seiichi have to get sick today? This replacement was weird.

"I thought it'd be fun to see if anyone wants give it a shot," the man replied.

"Well, keep them in the back. I don't want any kids getting bit," Suba ordered in frustration as he rubbed his right temple.

Suba wasn't sure if he'd have to keep a closer eye on the kids or his assistant. His mood was improved when Suzume showed up, followed by Ranma and Hibari.

"What was with that guy selling used socks?" Ranma was muttering.

"I don't know. We get weird people at festivals sometimes. Hence my dad wanting yours on security," Hibari replied.

"Well... I do appreciate gettin' free food everywhere. Don't even have to flirt. I guess bein' here with two Oozora's has its perks."

"Ooh! Goldfish scooping!" Suzume shouted, clearly excited. "Suba-san! Suba-san! Can I have a turn?"

"Sure, have at it," Suba replied, handing Suzume a small frying pan.

"Hey, that's not fair!" another child protested.

Suba ignore the protest and turned to Hibari. Blushing a little he asked: "Where is Tsugumi? Normally she's looking after Suzume."

"She has that big illustration to do this week. She's going to be here a bit later, when the crowds die down. I'll let her know you asked for her though."

"Oh, there's no need for that," Suba replied nervously.

Ranma found the normally cool gangster getting flustered like a schoolboy about Tsugumi a bit funny. Yet a glance over to the Oozora sibling of his preference left him at least as smitten. It was quite the family.

"How about you two, wanna try the piranha barehand challenge?" the second stall attendant asked. He could see a feisty spirit in both sets of blue eyes.

"Piranha barehanded challenge? Wazzat?" Ranma asked.

"This guy brought a tank of piranhas for some reason," Suba explained. "Wants an excuse to crack it out."

"Nah, it's a real thing. My cousin in Brazil wrote me about it," the man countered.

"I can handle any challenge, bring it out," Ranma boasted.

The thug led them to the side of the stall and dropped down his tank of exotic fish. Ranma had heard stories that these fish could strip flesh to bone in seconds. He wasn't sure if they were true, but he was going to make sure he was fast enough that it didn't matter.

"Do you really have to take every challenge you encounter?" Hibari asked as Ranma rolled up his sleeves.

"Pretty much. That's the key to being a great martial artist. You never know what will prove to be good training."

Turning to the challenge before him Ranma assaulted it with more speed that he'd ever used in his life. As his arms flew at maximum speed he realised what a good substitute this was for the fire training the others had tried. It took maybe 5 seconds to empty the tank.

Panting a bit Ranma started pouring the piranhas back in with the plan to run through a few more practice efforts, while the attendant looked stunned. Suba just gave a knowing smile. Then he turned back to the main tank. He was busy helping Suzume pack up her when a girl about Hibari or Ranma's age with long dark (slightly blue tinged) hair wandered over.

"Oh, goldfish scooping, I always love that," Akane said, "Can I give it a shot?"

"Sure, 100 yen," Suba informed her.

Akane paid and took her best shot. The first one didn't quite work, but a second scoop netted a goldfish. She was quite pleased with herself when she looked up to see the two teens beside a tank of piranhas. Akane let out a gasp as the redhead's hands went flying into the tank, yanking out the fish with incredible speed (actually greater than Ranma's previous attempt).

"Wow, she's fast," Akane mumbled as the redhead wrapped up the second attempt.

"Oh yeah, Saotome-kun is almost superhuman at times," Suba replied with a chuckle. "All that crazy martial arts training."

Akane felt herself wanting to go make an introduction when Kousaku and Kasumi appeared beside her.

"Akane, we really should be heading home," Kasumi told her, "You and Kousaku have a lot of homework for tomorrow."

"Just one moment big sis," Akane replied and rushed over where Ranma and Hibari were. "Hi there, my name is Akane. I'm a bit of a martial artist myself and I just want to say that your speed is amazing. What school do you study?"

"Anything-Goes, and I'm the best," Ranma boasted.

Hibari just rolled her eyes and decided not to bring up a certain old woman who could probably beat Ranma blindfolded.

Akane meanwhile blinked in shock. Then she remembered that man who'd shown up to drink with her father a few times recently was named Saotome... wasn't he? Was there really another girl who studied the same school as her? She felt her heart flutter slightly. Glancing to the blonde she wondered if maybe both girls were martial artists.

"Akane! We really must get going!" Kasumi cried out. It wasn't yelling, but still showed a tinge of impatience.

"Coming!" Akane cried back before turning back to Ranma and Hibari, "You should come by the Tendo Dojo sometime!"

"Who were those two girls?" Kousaku asked as Akane came into normal speaking range.

"I think she might be the daughter of daddy's friend who keeps showing up," Akane replied.

"Oh, Saotome-san has a daughter? Odd he never mentioned her. Only his son," Kasumi said.

"She certainly looks like a Saotome girl," Kousaku said a bit dreamily. "Those cute big... eyes. Cute eyes."

"Ugh, boys," Akane grumbled. "If her and the other girl come over you better not annoy them."

By that point the three had wandered out of view. Ranma had watched them leave. As she left Ranma had to admit silently the dark haired girl was cute. Maybe he would go visit that dojo...

A yank on his ear got his attention back to Hibari.

"Going to keep training, or do you plan to spend the night chasing girls?" Hibari asked. "I'm not sure you'll have much luck in your current condition. Odds are much less in your favour than usual. Might find one if you're lucky."

Ranma blushed at the implication.

"Hey! Your keep flirting with customers at work!" Ranma protested.

"Waitresses flirting for better tips is a time honoured tradition. Not all of us with blessed with a figure like yours that guarantees great tipping," Hibari countered.

"Blessed? Ya mean 'cursed', right? That's kinda the whole point," Ranma grumbled.

"It's just a fact. You have a very nice body, whichever form you're in," Hibari stated.

Ranma turned away to attend the fish for a third attempt, trying to ignore the way he was feeling as a result of Hibari complimenting him. Hibari meanwhile felt herself blushing at the fact that she'd effectively admitted to finding Ranma attractive either way.

It was early morning as Ranma marched towards the Neko Hanten, dawn still just starting. Hibari was following behind reluctantly. They hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, Ranma having spent hours mastering the Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken via piranha (a method which Hibari also ran a few practice rounds on, finding it much nicer than sticking her hands in fire). It wasn't until about 3am that Hibari had managed to talk him into getting a bit of sleep.

Barging into the still dark restaurant the pair greeted by the sight of a sleepy Shui mopping the floor. The pink shirt he was wearing looked just a little too small. Shui's face lit up upon seeing Ranma, and he rushed over. However just before grabbing the small redhead in what looked like it was going to be a hug Shui switched to placing an hand on Ranma's shoulder and shaking his hand. Then Shui gave Hibari a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"Shui can tell you look ready to beat gr-gruesome old Cologne. How you manage training?" A sleepy Shui asked.

"Modified it," Ranma replied with a cocky grin. "Now where is that old hag? I've got a pill to grab."

"She is downstairs. Said she saw you training at the fair. Is waiting for you."

Ranma rushed down the stairs, revenge on the little redhead's mind. Hibari yawned and followed, grumbling that they could have slept in and enjoyed their Sunday morning before rushing over. The basement was dark, but they could hear Cologne gently humming somewhere in the darkness. Ranma tried to focus on the sound, ready to strike blind.

The effort was unneeded as the lights for the room flashed on, revealing what looked like a Chinese bamboo forest. A moment's study revealed the endless expanse was mostly mural paintings on the walls, but the basement was surprisingly roomy. Hibari had to wonder if it spread into surrounding lots, but Ranma's focus was entirely on the small figure seated in the middle of the room.

Ranma threw himself towards Cologne with unbridled fury. Cologne dodged the leap, but the two were more evenly matched as both their arms disappeared into a blur of motion. Cologne's face grew remarkably serious after a few seconds as she realised Ranma had learned far faster than expected. The remarkable speed and energy exerted caused both to leap apart after about a minute. Catching their breath, both began to circle the other.

"Impressive learning curve son-in-law," Cologne replied with a chuckle.

Ranma made another lunge, which Cologne jovially dodged. Her concentration on the greater threat in the room was enough that she didn't notice Hibari moving on an intercept course until the last moment. There was a clear moment of apprehension as the tiny woman dodged by a hair. Ranma was back at her as soon as she'd made it away from Hibari, and the old Amazon found the two making an effective double team. Each time she dodged one the other would pounce. Ranma was the faster of the two, while Hibari was better at hiding her intentions.

While she was technically losing the fight Cologne was very pleased. The two had subconsciously picked up on the teamwork training she'd put them both through while waitressing. She was certain if they found themselves fighting beside Shampoo that same training would shine through. Cologne had been worried at first when Shampoo had described her confusing trip to Japan. The pair had seemed like they might not make the best husbands for her great granddaughter (there also being the lingering question if they'd technically make husbands at all), but seeing their impressive skills and rapid learning curve Cologne knew they would make fine additions to her clan.

Dodging Hibari's fist Cologne had to let out a chuckle. She could keep the fight up for some time, and cracking open a few of her more destructive techniques would win her the day. Neither would be necessary though, and Cologne really didn't want to do unneeded damage to her new restaurant. It was time to 'slip up' and let Ranma get his hands on the pill.

Cologne over-dodged Hibari, and Ranma cracked a smile at the old woman messing up. Pushing a hand forward with superhuman speed he snatched the necklace from her. Pulling away he popped on the container to grab the pill.

"Too slow old woman!" Ranma laughed before swallowing his salvation.

He probably should have gotten some water to swallow a pill of that size. After a bit of gagging it was down. He was surprised just how much cooler the room began to feel after mere moments.

Cologne smiled. Part of her had wanted to keep the game up for longer. If she had been working against Ranma alone she likely would have. See if just a little more pressure might make him break. Hibari though... that child had responded very poorly to this particular move. Continuing it would likely burn that bridge entirely and lose Shampoo a husband for certain.

Luckily the blonde had also shown Cologne the best way to play with Ranma. Jealousy.

"I must say, you held out much longer than I'd expected Ranma," Cologne informed them. "Truly impressive willpower... Or perhaps the curse doesn't bother you as much as you claim?"

"It bothers me plenty!" Ranma shouted back.

Not caring to hear a reply Ranma rushed up the stairs to find some hot water. Hibari and Cologne gave chase, the fromer still giving the latter a bit of stink eye. Reaching the main dining hall they found Shampoo waiting with a smile and kettle.

"Airen can be boy again?"

"Better be," Ranma grumbled as he grabbed the kettle.

Pouring it over his head Ranma let out a sigh of relief as the tingling of the transformation began without any searing pain. It was strange, but that tingling in and of itself was something he'd kind of missed. Having his height and masculinity restored was what really brought a smile to his face of course. Shampoo instantly pulling him into a hug was a bit less appreciated. Hibari countering with a hug from the other angle meanwhile was appreciated a bit more. Hibari was also nice enough to let go quicker. Prying himself from Shampoo took far more effort, but proved doable.

"Shampoo very happy. One husband who live like girl more than enough."

"We're not married," Hibari grumbled.

"Will be. Shampoo patient."

"Ya don't seem very patient to me," Ranma grumbled as he turned to leave.

"You do look good in that shirt though Shampoo. Pink is your colour," Hibari added with a wink as she walked out the door.

She couldn't help but giggle as Shampoo beamed before suddenly paling. Still giggling, Hibari hurried after Ranma. The handsome black haired boy was leading them home, and Hibari was happy to follow. He wasn't always the brightest, but he was cute. And following him gave a nice view as those pants were a bit tight in his male form.

The thug guarding the front door took a few moments to recognise Ranma. Which did not impress the young man. Storming off to get some breakfast he was glad to see Ibari and Tsugumi were still seated at the table, discussing something. Ranma plopped himself down at his usual seat, Hibari sitting down beside him. The Oozora father glanced over to acknowledge them.

Then gave a second look. He began to sweat and his pupils dilated.

"White crocodiles!" was all he managed before falling over, clutching his chest.

Seiji burst in with medication while Tsugumi was giving her father some basic first response care. After a few minutes the mustachioed yakuza boss was sitting back up, and Tsugumi felt safe to run off to get some breakfast for the teens.

"I-I see you're b-back to your old self Ranma," Ibari stammered.

"Yep. You never shoulda doubted me. Though Hibari did help."

Hibari wondered if that was the closest Ranma would give to a thank you.

"You didn't change your shirt?" Cologne asked Shampoo coldly. "How could you manage such a basic mistake?"

Shampoo stammered an explanation, and received a crack on the head for her trouble.

"It's a good thing our new order of instant Jusenkyo came in. The twin powder should throw them back off the scent. Remember, we have to approach this situation delicately," Cologne scolded.

"Shampoo still not understand need for so much secrecy. Why not just tell future husbands now?"

"Several reasons. Firstly, you made a rather poor first impression on both son-in-laws. There's also the issue of your being naturally female. Both son-in-laws are in love, so the odds of either showing interest in your true form are low. Jusenkyo might allow us to easily fix the latter issue, but the former will take time. Ranma is beginning to trust 'Shui', but if Hibari tells him all our hard work will be for naught. We have to get them to care for at least one of your forms before revealing the truth."

"Shampoo still wish she could hug Airen more often... Or suppose should say: Shui wish 'he' could hug Airen at all..."

"You know that behaviour is frowned upon here. Besides, you also have to remember how annoying Mousse's pursuit can be. Males should be more subtle and demure in these things, and you have to convince them you can act the part of a male to win their love."

'Hibari isn't subtle... or acting male,' Shampoo thought to herself. She knew better than to challenge Cologne to head on though. Besides, if she talked about it too much she might admit to rather liking her current marriage options Cologne might raise an eyebrow. That was rather close to something very improper for a young Joketsuzoku warrior.