Chapter 3

Raizo busied himself in the kitchen while Mika got dressed. He had a plan when he decided to come back. He had a clear, damn, plan. But all that went to shit when he walked through her bathroom door and saw her lying under the water, lifeless. He kept trying to banish the image from his mind but even his great Ozunu self-discipline struggled to free him from the occasional vision or the dull ache it caused his stomach every time he allowed himself to glimpse the memory.

One problem at a time, he told himself as he switched the kettle on and prepared two mugs. Even with his back to her Raizo knew Mika was now stood in the living room doorway before she said a word.

"Please sit," he requested gently while rummaging two packets out of a brown paper bag and placing them in the microwave.

Mika scanned the room quickly. Raizo had tidied up. When the hell did he do that? More importantly, her medication was nowhere to be found. She felt that creeping sense of dread inching up her spine but tried to ignore it. She glanced over at the back of Raizo busy in the kitchen and still couldn't quite believe that he was there. Her chest ached. Seeing him hurt. She wasn't sure why. She drew her feet up to sit cross-legged on the couch and fidgeted with the high bun she'd put her hair into. It was a damn nightmare getting the tangles out after it had gotten wet and was left to dry without being detangled or moisturised as she usually would.

Raizo came from around the kitchen counter with a mug in his hand and stopped momentarily seeing Mika sat childlike on the couch. Her hair swept up off her face showed off high cheekbones and big brown eyes. She wore a grey vest and black leggings that stopped just below her knees. Her perfect brown skin had a subtle sheen of moisturiser but the sweet scent of it was faint. She was still trying to stay un-trackable.

"Drink this," he finally approached her with the mug, setting it down on the small coffee table in front of her.

"What is it?" She took the mug and sniffed the steam rising from it.

"Ancient recipe from my ancestors."

Mika glanced up at him, "really?"

"No." Raizo smiled. "It's earl grey. I bought it at the supermarket. But it will make you feel better."

Mika narrowed her eyes at him.

"Drink," he coaxed gently as the microwave pinged.

Raizo came back with a tray with two sandwiches on it and his own mug of tea. He lay the tray down on the table also. "You need to eat."

Mika took a sip from her mug. She wasn't sure she liked it. "I'm not really hungry."

Raizo sat down in the armchair to the side of Mika and sipped from his own mug. "I didn't ask if you were hungry."

Mika raised an eyebrow, her unease mutating into confusion and gentle frustration. "You can't make me, I'm not a child."

Raizo closed his eyes a moment and opened them again to stare straight into Mika's soul the way only he could. The way he looked down at her when she was unchaining him from that compound wall back when the Ozuno first came to kill him.

"No you are not a child but yes, I could make you."

All the air in the room seemed to disappear a moment while the two wills had their mini-standoff. Raizo was wearing a black t-shirt and Mika couldn't help but notice the corded muscle flexing gently under the golden skin of his forearms with the mini effort of tilting the mug to his lips. His hair hung forward in his face but his eyes never left her, his brow and his jaw set firm.

Mika eventually broke eye contact after what seemed like minutes, in reality, it was about 20 seconds. She slowly and begrudgingly reached forward and took the sandwich up. She glanced over at Raizo with narrowed eyes. He tilted his head gently, motioning her to continue. The moment Mika took that first bite she knew she was screwed. Raizo was right she did need to eat and she didn't realise how hungry she was until she gave in. The sandwich was a toastie, cheese, onion, and mushroom and it tasted amazing. She wouldn't let Raizo have the satisfaction of being right, so she ate it slowly and kept her face neutral.

Raizo smiled. "That's my girl." He didn't let on that he'd noticed the bruises on her arms and legs. One battle at a time.

Mika tried to choke out a retort, but her mouth was full.

Eventually, 15mins had gone by with them both sitting there in silence eating, drinking and staring at each other. The tension had lessened. Mika broke the silence first. "Your hair is longer."

Raizo pulled the jet black strands away from his face to gather at his back. His hair was about 5 inches past his shoulders now. "I guess I've been too busy to tend to it. Do you not like it?"

Mika gazed up at the ceiling, her head ached. She looked down at the empty mug in her hands and took a deep breath. "I thought you were dead. I thought they found you after the fight. I didn't know it then but I know it now. I mourned you Raizo. I grieved

."

Raizo put his mug down and leaned back in the armchair. "I'm sorry Mika. I thought it was for the best."

"Best, I thought you were dead? Best for who?" Mika also set her mug down trying to understand, trying to keep her anger at bay.

"You nearly gave your life for me Mika,"

"And you act like it meant nothing."

"It meant EVERYTHING!" It was the first time Mika had seen Raizo let that cool calm composure he'd mastered so well, slip. He took a breath and quickly gathered himself. "I owed it to you to at least let you try to go back to a normal life. No Ozunu, no looking over your shoulder, no running. I watched you for the first few weeks in between going back home to clear up Ozunu business but it became more and more difficult each time."

"Seeing me?" Mika was gently worrying at a knuckle on her left hand, a display of anxiety that didn't go unnoticed.

"Leaving you." Raizo leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together trying to find the right words. The Ozunu weren't big talkers. "I decided a couple of months ago that I would stop checking up on you myself. I paid a visit to your partner a few days ago. He said he'd seen you. He seemed concerned."

"And now you're concerned?" Mika was flexing the fingers of her bandaged right hand now, making a fist then stretching them out, over and over. Her brow was furrowed as she struggled to reach for the right words. Dr. Taylor would have said she was escalating but Dr. Taylor wasn't here right now.

"I am." Raizo could hear Mika's heart speeding up.

"You were going to leave me? Like this?!" Mika gestured at the lights, the CCTV monitors. "You think this is me having my normal life?" Mika lowered her legs to the floor, leaning forward. "I lay in that hospital, with a hole in my damn chest, for months! Afraid of every sound, every whisper, every fucking shadow!"

"Mika…"

"No! No one understood what we went through but you!"

Mika was on her feet, "I need my medication, where is it?" She rummaged through drawers and looked in cabinets.

"You don't need it, Mika,"

"Damnit Raizo, please just tell me where they are…" Mika was rummaging in the kitchen cupboards, in the bathroom cabinets growing frantic.

"Mika you don't…"

"I can't!" Mika cut him off. "Raizo I can't please, I can't do this…" She raced back into the living room and began pacing. Her breathing was labored and ragged. She'd checked every hiding place, the apartment was clean. Free of drugs, free of alcohol, free of everything she depended on to keep the shadows at bay.

Mika….

The whisper slithered into her head and trickled down her spine.

"No….no…" She shook her head and closed her eyes stooping to the floor.

"Mika?" Raizo wasn't sure what was happening. He'd seen withdrawal before, but this was something different.

Mika…Mika…

"Shut up!" She balled her fists up over her ears, knowing full well that the act would stop, nothing.

"Mika, look at me?"

She shook her head, "Three things I can hear…." She tried hard to focus on the coping mechanism Dr. Taylor had taught her to halt her spiraling but it wasn't working. She couldn't hear anything but the voice rasping its way through her head.

"Look at me?" Raizo leaned down and placed a hand on her shoulder. She gasped, eyes flying open. She was wild like the night on the bathroom floor. She was looking everywhere but at him.

"Three things I can see, three things I can see!" but she couldn't focus on anything. Raizo was there but his face was a blur. Her chest ached, her head was pounding, her vision was clouding over and at that moment she knew what she needed to do. She had one more coping mechanism left. She scrambled up off the floor and bolted to the kitchen diving for the cutlery drawer.

You're pathetic Mika…

Her hand rested on a small pairing knife. She took it over to the sink.

He'll hate what you've become Mika…

She scrabbled for the hem of her vest and exposed the flesh of her stomach. She gripped the edge of the countertop with one hand and pressed the tip of the blade against her skin with the other.

"MIKA NO!" Raizo was on her with speed she could never comprehend. His fist gripped her wrist so tight he knew he must have hurt her but he didn't care. The knife fell to the floor. He cursed something in a language Mika didn't understand but before she could even think about responding she felt Raizo sweep her up into his arms. She was barely present but she had noticed the voices were quieter. Raizo placed her to lie down on the couch. Her heart was still racing, her breath still short and shallow and then everything started to slow down.

Raizo took Mika's face in his hands. "Breathe easy" he whispered. His hands slowly ran down her cheeks, past her chin and settled at her collar bone where Raizo placed the thumbs of both hands against the part where the collar separates. He applied gentle pressure while making tiny circles and all the while he held Mika's gaze, watching and waiting for her to spill back into herself.

After 2 minutes Raizo ran his right hand down Mika's left arm slowly. When he reached her hand he traced a line from her thumb to the opposite edge of her inner wrist and used his own thumb to apply pressure there. Mika took in a sharp intake of breath, her eyes wide as if taken by surprise. Raizo took his other hand and placed his thumb at the point between Mika's eyebrows. There he applied pressure also and with both hands alternated between firm and gentle tiny circles.

Mika wasn't sure what she was feeling. It was like the veil of panic had been lifted from her. Her vision began to clear, her breathing began to ease to a more even pace. She felt inside herself again with every passing minute and all the while Raizo's soft, kind eyes never left her.

A heaviness replaced the panic but this wasn't something frightening. Mika's eyelids grew weighty. Everything seemed to take just a little more effort than usual. "What's…. happening….?"

"Sleep Mika. I promise I'll be here when you wake up."

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to surrender.

Just over 40minutes had past as Mika slept. Raizo had sat down on the couch beside her and gradually in her sleep she'd snuggled into him. Eventually Mika was curled up on her side wither head in Raizo's lap. He's pulled his oversized hoody over her. He'd continued to massage her temples for a while longer after she fell asleep and at times when she seemed to become restless and now he was gently cupping the back of her neck and applying a gentle massage with his thumb over the pulse under her ear. She looked so peaceful.

He knew it was risky to remove all the prescription drugs from the apartment, but it had to be that way. Mika had to see the strength inside herself, she needed to want to move forward and unfortunately for her, she was going to get a touch of the tough love Ozunu treatment. Raizo knew he could help. She just needed to allow him to do so.

Mika shifted in her sleep. She unconsciously brought a hand up and lay it on Raizo's stomach as she snuggled closer. Raizo's breath halted for a half a second. He was here for Mika, for her wellbeing and nothing more. There couldn't be anything more. He gazed down at her slightly upturned full lips, the dip of her collar, the smooth expanse of velvety soft toffee brown skin that led down to the rise of her breast. He looked away. He had an inner dialogue with himself and re-focussed on soothing Mika's slumber.

Mika felt a warmth, against her neck. A strong but gentle hand caressed her in such a way she felt she could have slept for hours longer. Memories of what transpired almost an hour before floated back to her on a current of realisation with overwhelming pressure. Tears welled up in her eyes. Now Raizo had seen everything, all of her ugliness and instead of being ashamed this time she was just relieved. Relieved to not have to pretend everything was alright. For the first time in months, she could just let herself be honest. Raizo let her weep silently while she still lay in his lap. He said nothing. This wasn't a moment for him to intrude upon.

When the last of her sobs had subsided Mika looked up at Raizo through puffy eyes. She reached a hand up and lay her palm against his cheek. "You really did come back." She smiled.

Raizo placed his own hand on top of Mika's leaning into the warmth. "I couldn't..."

Before he could finish his sentence, Mika had risen up off Raizo's lap and placed the gentlest of kisses on his lips taking him completely by surprise, so much so that he initially tensed up but the kiss was quick and chaste and over before he could really reciprocate.

Mika sat up pulling Raizo's hoody around her shoulders and sat close beside him. Raizo was at a loss for words so instead, he pulled her hand into his, interlacing their fingers and they just sat there together in silence.