Chapter 26: Bon Appetit
Ranma and Hibari worked out a plan on the way home. The pair had agreed to claim Dr. Tofu had 'cured' Ranma of the supposed effects of that head blow (to Ibari's dismay), allowing the pigtailed teen to return to loving martial arts and swindling vendors out of their food. Otherwise known as 'being Ranma'. The pair then snuck up stairs with their shopping bags.
Once the door to Ranma's room was closed Hibari put down her bags and pulled out some of the outfits they'd bought and laid them out on Ranma's bed.
"So, are you actually going to wear these?" Hibari asked, looking down at the highly feminine dresses.
"I-er, maybe?" Ranma mumbled, blushing a bit. "Th-they are cute."
"Cute is definitely your style. That number you wore to flirt with Ryoga was adorable," Hibari replied, leaning forward into the redhead's personal space with a smile. "Also good that we know your proper bra size. I had to guess a bit. I was close though."
Ranma blushed a bit, having found the measuring process deeply embarrassing. Thinking over how overwhelming her attempt at diving headlong into femininity had been, Ranma remembered someone else who'd be just as overwhelmed by trying that.
"Ucchan! I really should go tell Ucchan about this plan."
"Sure, sounds good," Hibari replied. Ukyo was clearly the next project on Hibari's plate.
Ucchan's was quiet right now. The after school rush had ended, while the dinner rush had not yet begun. Which meant Ukyo was taking the time to test her new waitress' cooking abilities. (A good distraction from her mind wanting to wander back to how both Ranma and Hibari had been absent from classes that day. What had they been up to?)
"Oh no. That's not a very good circle," Rie said, chastising herself under her breath.
"Perfect takes time luv," Ukyo replied, trying to reassure the girl. "Keep going."
Rie gave a quick determined nod and went back to work. She pushed on through the rest of the cooking process with a focus Ukyo could appreciate. The end result however...
"Tolerable," Ukyo said after tasting a bit, "for a Tokyoite. You'll need a lot more practice before I'm trust you at the grill with customers."
Rie gave a deep bow. "I am deeply sorry, sensei."
"Hey now, there's no need-" Ukyo began, when the ringing of the door chime distracted her. Turning she saw her favourite redhead. "Ranchan! It's great to see you!"
"Hey, Ucchan. I... I've got somethin' ta talk about," Ranma said nervously, looking around to make sure the restaurant was currently as empty as it seemed.
Ukyo was briefly beside herself with joy at the idea Ranma might have something personal to tell her. At least until she saw Hibari walking too.
"Hello Ukyo. Oh, and... Kawai-chan, right?" the blonde said.
"Hey Hibari," Ukyo replied. Her tone was slightly flatter than intended.
"H-hello!" Rie added. "I... should I go out back and slice some more cabbage?"
"That's Ranchan's choice," Ukyo said as she turned to the redhead in question.
"Uh..." Ranma glanced quickly to Hibari who simply shrugged. Disappointed, Ranma turned to waitress in training, noting what she looked like properly for the first time. The conclusion was simple: she was cute. A fact that distracted the red haired cutie momentarily. "Are ya good at keepin' stuff on the downlow?"
"Yes. Definitely. I'm very quiet," Rie replied in a nervous whisper.
Ranma shrugged. "Alright. I guess I might start bein' public in the nearish future, so one extra person knowin' ain't the end a tha world."
Ranma then proceeded to give a brief overview of what had happened when she hit her head, and how the scrambled perspective had left her with questions about who she was. Ranma did make sure to skip over why Hibari had impacted the decision though, thanks to Rie's presence. Ukyo was able to read between the lines easily enough, however.
"In typical Ranma fashion she tried to jump straight into the deep end before learning to swim," Hibari said as Ranma was wrapping up.
"Hey, if you're gonna try somethin' then give 100%," Ranma countered. "But... I'll admit I kinda got in over my head."
Ukyo let out a chuckle. "110% seems more your style Ranchan."
"F-forgive me if this is presumptuous," Rie said quietly. "Does this mean you and Hibari will be breaking up?"
Ranma and Hibari both blinked in synch, turned to look at each other, before turning back to Rie with confusion on their faces. (While Ukyo went a bit pale, worried Rie was pushing to help her new boss' love life.)
Ranma shrugged. "Whether or not I'm a girl seems like a whole separate thing from whether or not I like girls. 'Least, as I understand the concept."
Looking over at Ukyo, Rie nodded. "I-I suppose that's true. There's boys who like boys. Girls who like girls. And... so many of my classmates have been confused about liking you Ranma."
"So, Ranchan, are you gonna start attending school in girl mode, or...?"
"Not yet. Hibari pointed out that the girls might not respond well to it, and I should get to know bein' a girl better before switchin' totally," Ranma admitted.
"I suppose that makes sense," Ukyo said, before pulling out ingredients for okonomiyaki. "Well, I can't let two friends visit without eating. What toppings do you guys want?"
School was weird. Ranma's new feminine paradigm didn't mesh very well with attending classes as male. The pigtailed teen struggled with the fact that, well, it wasn't a struggle to act male. Second and third guessing would plague Ranma the entire morning. Had the clarity of the previous day just been an illusion?
At least Shui had yet to make an appearance. Ranma didn't need that added complication.
Walking with Hibari and Ukyo towards their usual lunch location Ranma suddenly became self conscious of every step. Was that too much hip sway? Could everyone tell? It was overwhelming.
"Excuze me, sirs et madame, I am looking for ze child of one Saotome Genma," a foreign accented voice said from behind the trio. Turning they were greeted by the sight of a middle aged man of European descent with an almost comically pointed mustache.
"That's me. Saotome Ranma," the black haired teen replied.
The mysterious foreigner looked Ranma up and down for a moment. "A, un fils. Zhere had been some confusion if Saotome's child was a boy or a girl. The feast invitation was only for a daughter. I shall bid vous adieu."
"Wait! Y-you want my sister. Let me go get her," Ranma replied quickly, before ducking around a corner and running to the nearest out of sight water fountain.
A moment later a redhead appeared with a large grin on her face. "I'm invited to a feast, am I? Sounds like fun."
"And you are?"
"Oh, silly me. Saotome Ran-" Ranma froze. She couldn't give the same name in such short succession. Quick, what was a female name she could use... Ran... Ranko maybe? That seemed good. Now just to finish and-
"Saotome Ran, yes, very well. If you would follow me, a car is waiting to take you to the Chardin Estate."
Ranma blinked. Right. Ran was on its own a functional girl's name. "D-do I get a plus one or anythin'?"
"Non. The guest list is very exclusive."
Ranma turned to give Ukyo and Hibari a guilty smile. "Well, see you guys later, I guess."
The drive to the Chardin Estate was much longer than Ranma had expected. As she watched the city start to fade into farmland, she began to wonder just how much further they had to go. Just as she was about to ask they turned off the main road and only a few minutes later the sprawling villa grew visible.
The car came to a halt near the front door, and as Ranma let herself out (to the protest of the chauffeur) another servant came to lead her to the dining room. She realised after a couple minutes that the route was deliberately scenic, no doubt meant to impress upon her the wealth of this foreign family.
The tour's eventual end was Ranma's favourite part though. She'd barely had a chance to eat in the car ride over and was now firmly starving. Reaching the dining table she was annoyed to see the table was empty, but for a few name cards.
Wandering over she quickly spotted her own. Saotome was spelled how she was used to, but 'Ran' was not. They had not chosen the chaotic 乱 she was used to. Nor the flowery 蘭 she had expected. No, it was the far more mundane 卵.
"Egg, huh? I dunno if that's girlier than orchid or not," she muttered as she fussed with the name card.
She was about to read the others were the door opened and three girls walked in. Two looked about her age, while the other was older, on the cusp of adulthood. The one with long dark, almost blue-ish, hair she recognised, but where from?
"Oh! Saotome! What a surprise. It's me, Tendo Akane... We talked for a little bit at that festival last month," the girl said, a warm smile filling her face.
"Akane-oh right! Yeah, I remember ya," Ranma (or perhaps Ran in this context) replied, landing her fist in her palm as she placed the girl. "With the dojo! I've been so busy! Sorry, I did mean ta check it out."
"Oh, a friend of yours?" the shorter haired sister asked coolly. "Looks like even more of a tomboy than you."
"Well, we've met... I should handle introductions though. These are my sisters, Nabiki's the icy one. And this is Kasumi, she's the foundation of our whole family really," Akane explained happily.
"You're too kind Akane," Kasumi replied, smiling happily as she bowed. (Nabiki too gave a brief bow. Almost so shallow as to be more insulting than no bow.)
"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Ran-Saotome Ran," the redhead replied, struggling to stop herself from finishing her given name. It would seem odd to give a different name than the one on the card, surely?
"Honhon! 4 lovely ladies as dining companions, what a treat!"
Ranma and the Tendo sisters turned to see a blonde young man flanked by a stern looking brown haired woman standing in a doorway on the far side of the room. Both were clearly of European descent, and dressed in high end, yet rather outdated looking, clothing.
"Bonjour mademoiselles, I am Picolet Chardin II, and I shall be your host for today's meal. There is much to discuss, but first!" the blonde paused as the stern woman clapped her hands.
Suddenly a wave of waiters and waitress appeared, carrying inumerable dishes. In the flow of it all Ranma found herself seated at the table beside the youngest Tendo girl. Chardin and the mysterious woman sat across from them, though were almost half hidden by the centrepiece. (Well, half hidden for most. With Ranma's small stature she couldn't see them at all.)
As the commotion died down it struck Ranma as as good a time as any to ask what was going on. "So, Chardin-san-"
"Quiet!" the woman chided. "One must focus on the food when eating. No conversation."
Ranma glared at the section of centrepiece she assumed was hiding the woman, but her empty stomach silenced further protest. Careful to keep a pace similar enough to the three Tendo sisters, knowing that her usual table manners weren't appropriate for as fancy a location as this, Ranma found herself still hungry when cruel woman clapped again to cause servants to begin clearing the table. Ranma tried desperately to grab a few more bites as her plate was being taken away (luckily the Tendo girls were distracted by confusion over their own food being taken away so soon and missed Ranma's poor table manners).
In the flurry the centrepiece itself was removed, and suddenly the four girls found themselves under the steely glare of the brown haired woman.
"I trust your fazhers explained our arrangement, mademoiselles?" she asked.
Ranma turned to the Tendo sisters, not surprised to have never heard anything from her father. She was slightly surprised to see the three of them look just confused.
"I'm sorry, but he has not," Akane replied, before glancing at Ranma.
"Pops never explains anythin'."
"Ah, what a shame," Chardin sighed, leaning back into his chair and running a hand through his hair. "Well, to put it simply, many years ago the two men came upon the ancestral Chardin family restaurant. Both men ate their way through a good chunk of our supplies that day... and then they turned out their empty pockets when my father asked for payment."
Ranma rolled her eyes, unsurprised to hear that. Akane and Kasumi made sounds of surprise, but Ranma sensed that the middle sister was as unsurprised as she herself was.
"Both men accepted the Chardin family's offer for alternative payment," the woman added. (Ranma knew before she said it what type of payment her father offered.) "They agreed that between the two of them they would provide a bride for young master Picolet."
The blond lad smiled a smile that was a little too large for a normal human face.
"It is quite an honour to marry into the Chardin family," the woman explained. "The Chardins are masters of Martial Arts Dining, and have been since the days of L' Anciens Regime before we were forced to leave our mother France."
"If you're such an esteemed family, then why exactly are you demanding brides as dinner payments?" Nabiki asked. "Shouldn't you be having to turn would be wives away?"
"There are those who find the... physique of our family off putting. I cannot fathom why," Picolet replied, before stretching his mouth open wide enough to swallow a whole turkey.
The looks of disgust on three of the four potential brides faces were absolute. Akane and Nabiki struggled to keep their lunches down while Ranma audibly gagged.
"Oh my," Kasumi replied, a look of mild discomfort all that graced her face.
"There's gotta be a way outta this!" Ranma shouted, leaping to her feet and knocking her chair over.
"Honhon, well, if madame were to somehow manage to outperform Picolet in a martial arts dining competition then perhaps one might let her go free... but our family has been undefeated for three centuries," the governess of a woman replied, laughing merrily.
"An' what's involved? Eatin' fast? I can do that! If pops has trained me ta do anythin' it's that," Ranma boasted. Looking over at the three girls who were watching her with concern she gave them a cocky smile. "Don't worry. I got this."
"Such plucky confidence, and in so lovely a form," Picolet said, giving that unsettling oversized smile. "But it simply will not do to have a wife who disrespects the Chardin family. Ah, a display!"
"Oh yes, how clever Picolet," the woman replied, clapping her hands.
Once more the table was covered in food.
"But we just ate," Nabiki muttered, disgust clear in her voice.
"Trois, Deux, Un, Zero," the woman counted.
Picolet's plates were clean before anyone could blink, and the French heir was gingerly dabbing his lips with a handkerchief. "As you see, Mademoiselle Saotome, the Chardin family are masters of our art."
The three Tendo sisters looked over to see Ranma gritting her teeth and staring forward with unwavering determination.
"She's in over her head... but at least it's not my neck," Nabiki whispered just loud enough for her sisters to hear.
Akane shook her head and turned to Nabiki. "Don't be so sure. You didn't see her at the festival. If anyone can manage this, it's her."
Genma was asleep. It had been a late night with Soun, venting his every trial. How he'd finally gotten the boy to be something approaching a man to make Nodoka happy. And then Jusenkyo happened. And then the engagement to Hibari. And then Ranma's sudden declaration of girlhood.
Okay, it was honestly a late morning by the time Genma had returned to the Oozora compound, stumbling drunkenly. The younger residents had already left for school when he'd arrived. Hastily closed curtains had rendered his small bedroom in amongst the upper Oozora goons just dark enough for him to sleep despite the sun. With any luck he wouldn't wake up until the next morning.
Hibari bursting into the room at some time in the mid afternoon did little to disturb him. Even as she shook him violently and shouted at him. Genma had slept through worse.
One might expect the blonde storming off to be the end of that interruption, but she returned a few minutes later. Only this time she was carrying a shotgun. Pointing it at the floor nerve-wrackingly close to Genma's sleeping form she fired.
The bang jolted Genma upright as he lept into a fighting stance... only to double over due to the hangover induced throbbing pain in his head.
"Oh good, you're awake," Hibari said, her tone casual as if she'd walked in to find him alert.
Genma glared at the blonde, struggling to ignore the pain in his head. "What do you want, weirdo?"
"Oh yeah, very creative Panda-san... Listen, Ranma, your child, was invited to a dinner by some weird French guy. I think the name Chardin was mentioned?"
"Not so loud," Genma grumbled. "But, hmm... Chardin... sounds sort of familiar. Tendo would know more."
"That's it?" Hibari asked, pointing a finger accusatively in Genma's face. "Nothing else?"
"Dunn't point that finger at me unless ya plan to use it," Genma slurred as he teetered back towards unconsciousness. Snoring followed soon after.
Hibari narrowed her eyes and stared at him a few moments before turning to find Seiji. The big innocent thug was busy scrambling about like they were under attack or something.
"What's up, Seiji?" Hibari asked, jogging alongside him.
"One of the juniors heard gunfire. We're trying to figure out what's going on, young miss," Seiji replied.
"Pfft! Nah, that was just me waking up Uncle Panda," Hibari said, laughing. "I put the shotgun back in the armoury, don't worry."
"Ah, phew. Please don't do that without telling anyone, young miss," Seiji replied.
"Sure... Anyway, do you know anything about where that Tendo guy lives. You know, the one that Uncle Genma likes to visit?"
Seiji paused to think it over for a few moments. "Oh yeah. He actually lives pretty close to that Dr. Tofu's clinic."
"Thank you," Hibari replied with a quick bow. "Tell Tsugumi I might be late for dinner."
The car ride home had been awkward for the Tendos. Akane and Kasumi were deeply worried about the girl they'd left behind. Nabiki was more focused on trying to get the disturbing image of Chardin's fully extended maw out of her head.
The girls were less than impressed to come home and find their father passed out in the family room, though at least he'd finally come home. Once Kasumi had pulled him into his bed the three girls gathered in the kitchen. Akane and Nabiki sat at the table while Kasumi began cleaning to distract herself.
"So, Nabiki... do you have any idea where we could find the Oozora family Ran said she was staying with?" Akane asked.
"I'm not sure. The name sounds familiar, but I can't place it right now," the girl with the sharp pageboy haircut replied.
"It does seem a good priority. They would no doubt be worried about her," Kasumi mentioned as she began to scrub an almost certainly spotless pot.
"I wish we had a more direct way to help her," Akane muttered, staring down at the table.
"Speaking of help, where's Sakamoto. You'd think he'd have helped daddy to the right room when he got home," Nabiki grumbled, as if she'd been the one to drag him to his bed.
"He said he was doing something with Daisuke today," Akane replied. "After all the fuss he made about wanting me to train him, he skips out on the second day."
"Well, Akane, you did dislocate his shoulder with those grapples," Kasumi said.
"Yeah, way to send mixed signals little sis. Do grapples to get lots of close contact, but then break the guy. I can only imagine what a terror you be when you finally bring a boy to your bedroom," Nabiki added, laughing to herself.
"I just don't get to practice grapples with the idiots at school so-" Akane's defense was interrupted by knocking at the door.
"Who could that be?" Akane asked.
"How should I know?" Nabiki replied, standing up. "Let's find out."
Akane shrugged and followed her sister. Reaching the front door Nabiki pulled it open to find a blonde girl pacing back and forth nervously. At the sign of life she lit up with a smile.
"Oh! You're Ran's friend. I remember you," Akane said. "You're quick. We were trying to figure out how we'd track you down."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow, waiting for an introduction.
"Thank goodness you were expecting me. That makes my questions easier," Hibari replied. She wondered about the cold appraising eyes the brunette had. That girl seemed like quality yakuza material.
"There's a bit to explain, but Ran is with the Chardins still," Akane said. "It would be better if you came in to sit down."
"Are you sure? I... I haven't even introduced myself properly. Oozora Hibari," the blonde said with a slight bow.
"Tendo Nabiki," the shorter haired Tendo replied.
Akane led them back to the kitchen, where Kasumi had begun cooking something.
Akane gave a quick introduction for her eldest sister before she and Nabiki explained what had happened. The marriage promise, the unsettling Chardin mouth, the speed Ran was going to need, and how Ran had agreed to stay. By the end of it Hibari was resting her forehead in her hand.
"How many marriage promises did that man make," Hibari muttered.
"If you don't mind me asking, why is Ran staying with your family?" Nabiki asked, despite a nasty look from Akane for intruding at time like this.
"Oh, er, well Ranma and I are..." Hibari froze, realising things were a lot more complicated with the Tendos only knowing Ranma as a girl.
"Ah. So you're Ranma's fiancée? I remember daddy and his friend mentioning an engagement. Where is he anyway, shouldn't he be here looking for his sister too?" Nabiki said.
Hibari blinked, processing. Of course. They didn't know about the curse, so any mutterings about a son they'd heard when Genma was over would be assumed to be a separate person from the girl they met. But if Hibari had to explain the curse... they'd probably not believe it without a display, and... maybe this could provide an option for Ranma to get to practice being a girl before making the big announcement. As she thought it through she realised Nabiki was getting a bit impatient.
"I, well... Ranma's following other leads. Genma was very vague," Hibari said, hoping the lie seemed believable.
Akane nodded and clearly bought it, though Nabiki's cold eyes seemed less convinced.
"So, what are you going to do?" Akane asked.
"I... well, I suppose I can try to bust her out. Then again she is a Saotome... they get pretty stubborn about facing any challenge. Still, I need to at least offer to help," Hibari replied.
"Oh my, do be careful," Kasumi said from over at the kitchen counter.
Hibari smiled. "Of course. And thank you again for the information."
"It's no worry," Akane said, cutting offer Nabiki (who no doubt hoped to draw some cold hard cash). "We're in debt to Ran. If she hadn't taken the engagement... one of us would be stuck."
"Mhm... I think we're going to have a long conversation with daddy to make sure he doesn't have any other engagement schemes," Nabiki added, crossing her arms and glaring in the direction of her father's room.
Ranma fussed with the iron corset that felt welded to her body. She'd finally been able to take off the gaudy layers of clothing that Madame St. Paul had shoved her into now that she was alone, though the underwear they'd left her with was probably better described as lingerie.
As she gradually gave up the idea of cracking the lock Ranma fell onto the bed provided. It was soft. Way too soft in her opinion. She'd never get to sleep.
The sound of her stomach grumbling provided an unwanted reminder of how brutal the bridal training she was going through was. Involuntarily her mind began to wander to thoughts of various dishes she'd love right now.
Ranma was so lost in thoughts of ice cream and eclairs the sound of the window opening caused Ranma to jump. The sight of her favourite blonde hopping in, clad in a black leather motorcycle jacket and matching pants, caused the petite genderbender to light up with a smile. Having the blonde rush over and wrap her in a tight hug was also nice, now that Ranma had begun to grow more comfortable with physical contact.
"Hibari! It's good to see ya! Did ya bring food?" Ranma asked.
"Food? The Tendos made it seem like all you would be doing was eating," Hibari replied, looking down at the shorter girl in confusion as she took Ranma's hands in her own.
"Hah, not a chance. They're tryin' ta teach me to eat the way they do. Except I don't have a freaky long tongue like a...a frog or somethin'," the redhead muttered. "I gotta use my hands ta eat. Like a normal person. An' thats against the rules here."
Hibari tried not to feel too disgusted by the descriptions she'd gotten about these Chardins, but she began to seriously wonder if they were really human. "Well, don't worry. I'm here to bust you out."
"What? Ya can't do that!" Ranma protested, pleading eyes meeting Hibari's own. "If I run off... they might kidnap one a the Tendo girls. And plus, I gave my word I'd take on their challenge. I ain't gonna back out just 'cause it's tough."
Hibari let out a sigh and sat down onto the bed. "I figured you'd say something like that, but I had to offer..."
"I appreciate it, I really do. But I've got my reputation ta think about."
Hibari nodded, before giving Ranma a once over. A mischievous smile grew on her cute blonde face. "At least the underwear is cute. I wonder if they'll let you keep it when you get out."
Ranma quickly turned beet red. "I don't know how you manage ta think about stuff like that at a time like this," the buxom redhead said, before sliding into a guilty whisper. "They are comfy though... I might pocket a pair either way. Not the corset though, this thing is hell."
"That's the spirit," Hibari replied with a laugh. "Do you have any idea how long they're going to give you to train?"
Ranma shrugged. "A few weeks, maybe? There was a lotta French."
Hibari thought it over, quickly realising something. "Exams are next week... I'll have to talk to the chairmen to see if I can get you extensions. I'll be back tomorrow, and I'm going to try to visit you every day I can, but... I really do need to get heading home. Tsugumi will be getting worried."
"Thanks," Ranma replied, smiling up at her. "And please... bring food next time."