17
August 31st (Tuesday) – September 3rd (Friday) *Week Two*
The next few days went by painstakingly slow. She and Draco barely spoke during their morning breakfast routine or during their Occlumency lessons for that matter.
They continued to meet in the art therapy room, but he would give her the slightest bit of information, tips on better ways to clear her mind, and then they'd sit in silence and meditate for an hour.
Even the tips he'd give were completely arbitrary. "Empty yourself of emotion," or "Push all thoughts from your mind." It was infuriating that he just expected her to be able to shut her mind off. She began to think she had misjudged him completely since they had come here, and there were times when she felt he had no emotion whatsoever. She knew that wasn't true; she had seen it multiple times now, but it was hard to remember that when, for days on end, his expression was completely guarded, and his eyes held the familiar sheen she had realized was his own way of Occluding.
When it became obvious that she wasn't able to "just stop thinking," as he continued to lecture, they switched tactics. He told her to distract her mind with something else. Rather than fixating on the feelings of anxiety or fear, this would hopefully allow her mind to be diverted. She began reciting potion-making steps in her mind. Over and over again she went through the step-by-step process of making Polyjuice Potion, Amortentia, Veritaserum, Burn-Healing Ointment, Draught of the Living Death, and a dozen others that she could remember off the top of her head. She had no idea whether or not this was helping to clear her mind, but it definitely lulled her to sleep on more than one occasion. She wasn't sure if Draco noticed at all or not, but she definitely had taken more than one nap while "meditating."
Now that they were no longer speaking to one another, Hermione realized just how much she had been talking to Draco on a daily basis. Waking up every morning after tossing and turning or nightmares brought on by all the exposure therapy and CBT, she was even more anxious and depressed throughout the day having no one to talk to. She completed her chores in silence, even the night she had to do kitchen clean-up with Seamus. Outside of speaking during her one-on-one sessions with Alys, group therapy meetings, and the occasional small talk during meals, typically with one of the counseling team, she rarely spoke to anyone at all. When she did speak to one of them, she thought it was more out of sympathy than anything. Even here, amongst other broken people, why was she the one that seemed to be singled out? Sometimes she thought she was only imagining it. Other times she was certain that everyone here despised her.
She began thinking that her life had been hard before, but at least out with the rest of the world she had Harry and Ginny, and now thankfully Ron again as well. But here, it seemed that the one person who she had begun what she thought was a friendship with, Draco of all bloody people, wasn't speaking to her either. You'd think that since they were both so unanimously hated, that they would at least be able to relate to one another through that. Seamus no longer ever even glanced in her direction and neither did Parvati now, but it seemed like that was more an appeasement to Seamus than anything else. Nicola was completely absorbed in her own situation. Since beginning CBT sessions, she had been even more withdrawn from the group than before. At least Dennis didn't seem to be angry with her, even if they didn't really talk much. He appeared to be on Seamus' side of the fence, even if it was more by association than anything else.
Dennis came back around lunch on Tuesday, and he immediately sought out Hermione, to her astonishment. After the accident, he had seemed so upset with her. She honestly didn't know what to expect when he finally made it back. But, all her fears were unfounded because he instantly hugged her and told her that her continued apologies weren't necessary.
"I'm fine. I promise. I actually got a date out of it, so I guess I should be thanking you." Apparently, one of his nurses took a particular interest in him, which surely helped to alleviate his anger toward Hermione.
Her sessions with Alys began to be much more intense than they had been before starting CBT. She had managed to go through almost two weeks of therapy without having to actually talk about anything terribly traumatic, but now, she had to actively think about all the events that she had tried desperately to bury as deeply as possible for years.
The first worksheet Alys had her working on was meant to confront her negative self-talk. After defining her "problem," which she decided was feeling threatened, after her idiotic collapse when Draco had simply raised his voice, she had to think about any experiences that would have led to her feeling vulnerable. Thankfully, she still hadn't actually had to verbalize all those moments out loud, but just forcing herself to think about them was enough of a struggle.
She began to wonder what form her boggart would take now, and that in and of itself was enough to cause her to have two separate panic attacks in the office with Alys. The thought of facing any of her new fears while her housemates looked on brought her to her knees.
During every session she had to think about a memory that provoked a strong negative emotion, anything that could have contributed to her fear of being attacked. There were quite a few of those moments to focus on, so she chose the ones that didn't involve Greyback or Bellatrix to begin with. She was supposed to sit and think about those events and then write them in as much detail as possible in her journal every night.
After a couple days of this, she was supposed to record herself talking about it, but only alone in her room at night.
After all that time, all she'd managed to write was, "We were in the forest."
Alys brought this up, and told her that in order for this therapy to be a success, she had to actually put in the work.
"I heard a saying recently, Hermione, and I think it's applicable to this situation. 'When you don't heal the wounds of your past, you bleed all over everything in your future.' In order to heal yourself, it's going to be painful. But if you don't do it, it's still going to be painful, without the possibility of ever being better."
That night, she sat alone in her room, her hands shaking so badly that the words were barely legible and wrote everything she could remember from her torture. Just as she had suspected, she dreamed of Bellatrix again, reliving the memory she'd written a few hours prior down to the last detail. Now, when she dreamed of that night, she saw Draco and his parents, their backs to her as she lay writhing on the floor while Bellatrix cursed her again and again. She wasn't sure if writing the events brought them back with more clarity or if her brain was only filling in the missing parts, but now, she watched clearly as Draco and his mother left the room, her hand very obviously tugging at his so that he would follow her.
Each night, she woke up in a cold sweat, shaking from whatever memory had plagued her through the night, and quickly turned on the light for fear that this would be the time that it was real. Each time, she was slightly shocked when she found that she was in her own room at The Willows and it had been over a year since Bellatrix was killed.
On the third night, she awoke from her nightmare to loud, shrill screams coming from the hallway. It took her a moment to realize they weren't her own, or worse Bellatrix's cackling, but when her sleep-muddled brain came to that conclusion, she quickly ran out her door just as Draco and Dennis did the same. A look passed between them all before each pair of eyes fell on Nicola's door.
For fear of another accident like hers with Dennis, she began knocking loudly on the door rather than just running in and trying to wake her. It only took three hard raps before the screams stopped abruptly.
After a moment, Hermione knocked again and said, "Nicola, are you okay? We heard –"
"I'm fine." Nicola's voice came muffled through the door. "Sorry. I was … I'm fine."
She looked over toward Draco and Dennis, each still standing by their door, looking disheveled. Draco was at least dressed, but his hair stood on end, and his shirt was inside out. Dennis, however, stood in only his socks and canary yellow boxer briefs. When Draco gave him a once-over, Dennis awkwardly placed both hands in front of his boxers and shrugged.
Hermione rolled her eyes at them and said through the door, "Do you want me to come in?"
"No," Nicola's voice snipped through the closed door. "I'm really fine. Just a bad dream."
Hermione glanced at Draco for some sort of sign of what to do. He knew her more than anyone else, surely, but Draco only shook his head slightly before walking back into his room and closing the door.
When Friday rolled around, the idea of an entire evening without having to relive any of her traumatic past brought with it a blessed sense of calm for the first time in days. Hermione still had the same painful counseling session that afternoon as she'd been having all week, but with their trip to California that night, she at least had the comfort of knowing there would be no group session later.
After spending the morning and afternoon away from everyone and having a light dinner, Hermione met the others at the apparition point and joined hands, just as they had done the previous week on their trip to the ropes course, and Walt pulled the kerchief from around the quarter in his palm and transported them all to California.
They landed roughly beneath a pier that was shaded from view from the rest of the beach, and Hermione chuckled when she heard Parvati curse after half of her landed in the surf. Parvati stepped fully onto the shore and shook each of her legs, trying to shake the wet sand from her trainers. Walt laughed and dried her with a flick of his wand.
"Thank you," she said with a smile.
"Our van is parked across the street," Walt said, pointing off in the distance across the beach. "If you need to change or shower or take a nap, just knock on the door and say 'Willows.' You'll have tonight all to yourselves, … or afternoon rather" he said with a smirk. "It's only mid-morning here. We'll all be meeting at a nice little seafood place later on the colonnade by the boardwalk for dinner if anyone is hungry by then. Say, two-ish?" He looked at Alys and she nodded. "Yes, two."
He looked down at his watch and said, "That gives us a few hours between now and then. We'll be staying by the boardwalk, but if you need one of us for any reason, there's a phone in the van connected to my cell phone." He pulled a small phone from his pocket and held it up. Hermione smirked when she saw Draco frown in confusion.
As Walt handed their money around to each of them, he asked, "Does everyone have their travel buddy?"
Seamus and Parvati took a step toward Dennis, who gave Hermione an uncomfortable half-smile, and Nicola strode over and forwardly intertwined her arm through Hermione's.
Before Hermione could process that, Walt caught sight of Draco standing by himself and said, "Draco, you can join in with my group if you'd like."
"Actually, Walt, I think I'm perfectly capable –"
"He's with us," Nicola said, reaching forward to grab one of Draco's pale wrists.
Draco gave Nicola a knowing look, and Walt nodded and said, "I think that's everything. Does anyone have any questions?" He looked around, and when nobody spoke, he said, "Alright, then. I'll be on the water." He pulled a tiny surfboard from his pocket and enlarged it silently before strolling off, looking eager to be back home.
The other group walked away as well, and Nicola patted Hermione's arm affectionately. "I hope you don't mind being my tour guide today. The idea of being stuck with either Seamus' awful attitude or Alys' motivational speaking makes me want to jump off this pier."
Hermione laughed. "Not at all. I'd love the company." She twisted the dial of her watch back eight hours to catch up with the time change, and together they walked from beneath the pier. She stopped for a second and looked around. The sun beamed down on her face as she gazed out at the ocean.
The only holiday she had ever taken to a beach was in Turkey with her parents a few summers before she took their memories. The water had been the brightest azure she'd ever seen, and she remembered being completely mesmerized by it, as the sun glinted off the surface like thousands of tiny diamonds. The water here, though still just as beautiful, was a deep sapphire. It was sunny and warm, but she knew just from looking at it that the water here was substantially colder.
"Beautiful." Nicola spoke beside her, her dark hair flying in the breeze coming off the water. "Quite a bit less dreary than our part of the world. I could get used to this." With that, she let go of Hermione's arm and strode off for a clearing on the beach.
Hermione looked across the beach to see all the rides that Alys had been so excited about, roller coasters and ferris wheels scattered across the boardwalk. She took a step to follow Nicola, but footsteps in the sand behind her caused her to remember there was a third in their party. She turned to find Draco exiting beneath the pier as well.
It was strange, really, seeing him in shorts. She honestly was surprised to find out that he actually owned any. He wore dark Bermuda shorts and was slightly cuffing the sleeves of his white cotton button-down, when he caught her looking him over.
He glanced down at himself and said, "What? Is this ridiculous?"
She smirked. She thought about making him sweat a bit; Draco Malfoy worried about his appearance in Muggle attire was a pretty hilarious thought, but she was determined to have a stress-free day, so she said simply, "No, you look nice."
"I thought so," he said with a returned smirk.
"Fishing for compliments, however, doesn't look good on you." Hermione rolled her eyes and walked away, only to find him walking right alongside her.
"Excuse me, but after more than a year in Azkaban, I'll take what I can get, thank you," he said, pulling the sunglasses from his shirt pocket.
Hermione dropped her bag beside Nicola's chair just as Nicola pulled her sundress over her head, revealing her modest black one-piece, and sauntered to the shoreline.
"Watch for sharks," Hermione said, winking at Nicola as she turned to give her a scowl. Hermione started to remove her shorts and then remembered Draco was standing a few feet away. She'd worn a swimsuit in front of people before, of course, but remembering the way Ron had ogled her the first time reminded her that men in the Wizarding World weren't used to seeing women so scantily clad. After he managed to pull his eyes back into his head, Ron had berated her and attempted to cover her with his towel multiple times, telling her that she wasn't dressed at all appropriately.
She shuffled awkwardly and decided she wasn't going to sit on the beach during her very first trip to the Pacific fully clothed worrying about what someone else thought about her. She quickly lifted her t-shirt over her head and pulled her denims down, tucking both into her bag beside her. She quickly twisted her hair up into a bun and reclined the beach chair, cursing herself for only owning a two-piece. She refused to look at Draco throughout the process, worried she'd find him looking at her. She wasn't sure which would be worse, him staring at her the way that Ron had or him looking at her in disgust. Both ideas had her self-consciously wishing he'd gone with Walt.
She shivered briefly, contemplating putting her clothes back on. It was much cooler here than she had hoped, but it was still substantially warmer than Scotland, so she wanted to take advantage of it.
She saw him recline another chair to her left and prop a large umbrella over it as she pulled a book from her bag. She hadn't had a chance to look through the library yet, and truthfully, she hadn't really felt like it. She had quickly walked inside and grabbed a few books off the first shelf she saw, and, of course, the one she quickly took from her desk this morning would be some novel she'd never heard of. She hadn't ever been a fan of modern fiction so much, but it was better than reading nothing. She glanced toward the water and saw Nicola knee-deep, talking to a few little boys who were splashing in the surf.
She smiled softly and opened her book. She hadn't been reading long when Draco sighed irritably and said, "Are you going to do that all day? This is quite boring."
She didn't look up from the book, though it was admittedly awful, but said, "I'm sorry. Are we speaking now? Despite that lovely exchange moments ago, I was under the impression that we were ignoring one another."
He exhaled sharply and shifted his chair to keep the sun off his face. They were silent again, the sound of the waves occasionally interrupted by Draco's annoying huffing.
After she'd had all she could stand, she said, "Are you going to do that all day? You sound like you're in timeout."
"I wasn't ignoring you." Again, he sounded like a sulky child, and it grated on her nerves.
When she said nothing, he glanced toward her, though she refused to look up from the pages. Of course, she wasn't reading, but she turned the page anyway.
"I thought perhaps we'd overstepped the other night and you got the wrong idea, so –"
She gripped the book so tightly that she felt one page tear beneath her fingers. "I don't know what 'wrong' idea you think I had, Malfoy." She enunciated his name clearly, hoping he caught on. She'd never admit how strange it felt coming out of her mouth after calling him Draco for the last week. "I simply thought we were two friends having a drink. If there were any 'wrong' ideas to be had, I wasn't the one having them."
If he noticed the anger radiating off her, he never let on. "We aren't exactly friends, though, are we, Granger?" He spoke her name in the same way, and she felt the lines that they'd broken down recently being redrawn in the sand.
She turned the page again and said, "No, I don't suppose we are." Why was she this angry? She knew they weren't exactly friends. And she knew he wasn't going to kiss her outside her room, and she definitely knew she didn't want him to. So why was she angry enough that her hands were shaking? He was surely insinuating that she had been coming on to him, which, despite her slight intoxication, she clearly remembered was not the case. Outside of what she mistakenly thought was him leaning in to kiss her after he'd brushed her hair behind her ear, nothing whatsoever had happened. But obviously, she was being rejected. From what exactly? And even more forcefully, she thought, how dare he?
"I mean, I didn't come here to make friends with people, so …" His voice trailed off, as he raised his arms and rested his hands behind his head.
Turning another page, she forced her voice to be steady and calm as she ran through potions ingredients in her mind. She tried to pretend like that didn't feel like an icepick in her gut. Why did that hurt so much?
"Okay," she said, clutching the book tightly in her sweaty hands. She should be used to him hurting her by now, but this time, after thinking perhaps they'd both changed, him into someone who wasn't such a jerk and her into someone that maybe he didn't hate so much, this time it felt like ripping the bandaid off a wound that you thought had already healed only to find it just as fresh as the day it was made.
Neither of them spoke for a few moments. Hermione turned a page ever so often in her book to appear like she was still engrossed in this horrible novel, and Draco presumably was staring across the water. His glasses were too dark to see his eyes, and she'd resisted the urge to look up at him anyway.
Finally, just as she was about to get up to join Nicola in the water just to get away from this uncomfortable silence, he sighed and threw both legs over to one side, turning to face her. "Is that it? That's all you have to say? 'Okay'?"
She kept her face completely clear, but inside she was cheering. She had gotten under his skin for once! The Occlumency training was working for something at least; she was able to conceal the fact that she wanted to jump across the few feet of sand between them and bury him in it. He, on the other hand, was very obviously bothered that she wasn't.
"I'm not going to twist your arm to be my friend, Malfoy. If it requires that, then I guess it's more of a one-way street than I care to invest in. Besides," she said, closing her book at last and turning to look at him. "As spoiled as you are, I thought you'd be used to people giving you exactly what you want. Isn't that how the most of your entire life has gone?"
"Well, yes, actually, it has." He didn't even have the decency to look ashamed at how overindulged he was.
"I wouldn't want to disappoint you then," she said, rising from her chair and leaving him to sulk by himself. She tried to not think about the excessive amount of skin she was showing. She hated herself for the one woman's name who popped into her head when she tried to think of who to emulate, but then again, she was the only person she knew who exuded confidence, even if she loathed her. She didn't even attempt to sway her hips like Pansy did, mainly because she knew she'd only succeed in making a fool out of herself, but she did try to at least look like she wasn't concerned with him watching her walk away. She strode down to the water to join Nicola just as she was about to get out.
"This water is freezing!" Nicola wrapped her arms around herself and started to the shoreline.
Hermione spoke only loud enough for Nicola to hear her, hoping Draco couldn't at least. "Please don't get out yet. I made a grand exit, and I don't want to spoil it by having to walk back."
Hermione took a step into the water and couldn't hold in the gasp from the frigid water. The water had definitely been much warmer in Turkey! She laughed and ran back out. "How did you stay in there that long?"
"You get used to it a bit. But I couldn't force myself to go past my knees," Nicola replied with a laugh before nodding toward Draco, sitting alone beneath the umbrella. He'd picked up Hermione's book at some point on her walk down here and was now thumbing through it. "What's going on with him?" she asked.
"He's a conceited prat who just told me that he didn't even want to be my friend and then proceeded to get angry with me because I wasn't upset about it." She realized after she finished that she was referring to Nicola's former soon-to-be son-in-law, which was a mouthful to even think about. Regardless, she hoped she didn't just upset the only other person who even bothered to talk to her at The Willows.
Nicola's face broke into a beaming smile as she laughed uproariously. "Did he now? It's comforting to know that at least part of him is still the spoiled little brat he once was. I thought he was gone forever."
"Oh no, he's still a spoiled twit just like his father."
Nicola chuckled and shook her head. "Definitely not. That boy has far more Narcissa in him than Lucius."
Hermione sat down beside Nicola, letting the water lap around her ankles, and Nicola continued. "He's definitely spoiled. Both of his parents made sure of that, but he has more heart than Lucius ever has."
They each stared at the horizon, watching the boats pass by in the distance. Hermione wanted to ask Nicola more about Astoria, especially after what Draco had revealed, but now wasn't the time. If Nicola had been going through as much as she had during their CBT sessions, and she surely must've been given her nightmare last night, she surely didn't want to ruin her one day of solace.
"I think perhaps he wants to be more than friends." Nicola leaned over, bumping her shoulder into Hermione's and giving her a secret smile.
Hermione snorted derisively. "That seems highly unlikely. He told me I'd gotten the wrong idea about our friendship."
"Sounds like he doesn't want to get his feelings hurt," Nicola said, pulling her toes from the water.
"What? We are talking about Draco 'I don't need feelings, I have money' Malfoy, are we not?" Hermione turned to look at her, furrowing her brow and shaking her head in confusion.
Nicola laughed and patted Hermione's arm. "Oh, sweet child. You have so much to learn."
Hermione laughed and leaned her head onto Nicola's shoulder. It was strange how easily she felt connected with this woman whom she'd only known for a couple weeks. But just as she had the first night she met her, when Hermione had been having a meltdown on the bathroom floor, she felt like she was talking to her mother. It was comforting to have someone to confide in.
Hermione gave Nicola a brief run-down of all that had taken place with her and Draco, mainly because Nicola seemed genuinely curious and also because who the hell else was she going to tell? Ginny, her only other girl friend, despised him with a passion, and just thinking about talking to Harry about the situation made her skin crawl.
Nicola sighed and nodded at her, scrunching her lips as if to say, 'I told you so.'
"What?" Hermione asked.
"There's no way you're that obtuse. Are you 'The Smartest Witch of Your Age' or aren't you?"
Before Hermione could reply, Draco spoke from behind them. "Can we do something else now? Granger, that book you brought is complete garbage, and the water's too cold to swim."
They turned to find him looking down at them with irritation.
Nicola stood first and patted Draco's cheek. "Draco, dear, you're much more handsome when you aren't scowling." Hermione laughed, remembering having said almost the exact same thing to him on one of their first days here.
When she started to walk past him, Draco handed Hermione the towel that she had draped across the back of her chair. "I thought you might want that."
"Thank you," she said, confused. When she wrapped it around her waist, she caught Nicola's smug smirk out of the corner of her eye. She made it all the way back to her chair before she remembered, with an irritated groan, how Ron had tried the same thing.
She threw the towel down onto the chair much more aggressively than she intended to and pulled her clothes from her bag. As she and Nicola got dressed, she caught Draco's quick glance across her bare stomach.
Maybe Nicola is right, she thought, and then realized that checking someone out didn't exactly mean you fancied them. People could find someone attractive without actually fancying them, couldn't they? Hadn't she done the same to him a few nights ago. 'Taking care of yourself' as Ginny called it, wasn't something she'd done in a while, but she felt a blush rising up her chest as she remembered being too randy to sleep. Then she came to a full-stop, her shorts zipped only halfway, when she thought of how the night might end for him if he felt the way she had.
She shook her head, laughing at her own stupid imagination, and finishing closing her shorts.
"What are you smirking about?" he asked, lifting one eyebrow at her.
"Nothing." She turned away from him to pick up her bag, feeling so immature at having to admit that she couldn't look at him after the thought that just popped into her head. Once it was there, she couldn't make it go away.
She mashed her lips together tightly to keep from smiling like a complete idiot as images of him wanking kept playing on loop in her head. Then, to make it worse, she kept hearing Ginny's voice as she rattled off euphemisms for masturbation in their dorm room one year.
She imagined him, gingerly putting his hand into his boxers in the same way she had, and Ginny's voice saying, "Bashing the Bishop" ran through her head.
Stop it!
She thought about the face he might make as he wrapped his fingers around –
"Are you okay, Hermione?" Nicola asked, and Hermione's eyes flashed open.
"Yes," and she heard her own voice squeak in the middle of the word. "Yes, I'm fine. I, uhm, got a little woozy there for a second."
She gave her head a slight shake as she heard Nicola asking Draco where he'd like to go since the beach was too much of a bore for him.
Hermione stepped out from beneath the umbrella, her bag slung over her shoulder, and shuffled along behind them, hoping that the bright sun would make it too hard to see the crimson blooming across her cheeks.
What the hell is wrong with me? She wasn't the type of person who thought about such things, especially not with him of all people.
Another voice in her head said, You aren't doing anything wrong. You're nineteen. Be a normal nineteen-year-old. She felt herself nod once triumphantly, as if this argument inside her own head was completely normal.
The person in her head – It's Draco. You know exactly who it is. Stop acting like you don't – had reached the grand finale. To be fair, she didn't really have much experience to go on in formulating this fantasy, but she focused on his face instead anyway. Her heart was fluttering in her chest and her walking slowed quite a bit as she took a front-row seat in her mind. His pale eyes closed, his fist pumped a few more times, and his mouth dropped open while –
"Are you coming?" he asked.
She snapped her head around and immediately regretted it when their eyes met. Thankfully, his were obscured by his dark sunglasses, and she quickly looked away, unable to hold in her smile anymore. She quickly walked past him, catching up with Nicola and thinking there was definitely something wrong with her.
They walked through a few of the small shops on the boardwalk, each buying little things along the way, more to pass the time than anything. She did find some really nice artisan soap and lotions, but otherwise she wasn't looking for anything. Nicola dragged them along through a few boutiques as she bought some things for her daughter, Daphne. They bought coffee and dropped a few quarters into the binoculars that stood along the walkway, allowing them to look out along the water.
Draco seemed to find nothing of interest, other than watching Muggles. He seemed particularly fascinated with Muggle toys, however. When they came upon a toy store, he strolled inside without a word, and Hermione and Nicola had no choice but to follow him inside and walk through the aisles themselves. Hermione found him staring intently at a row of multicolored, furry creatures. He picked one up, and when it spoke, he quickly dropped it onto the table, knocking over a few more in the process. The shopkeeper eyed them with disdain as Hermione sat it back onto the shelf along with the others.
"It's a furby," she said, pointing toward the sign above the display.
"It's terrifying," he said, with a grimace, and stepped away to disappear down another aisle.
Hermione tilted her head to one side and looked down at the strange purple and yellow creature. "It really is," she said to herself, and then walked down the aisle after him.
The aisle they were standing in was filled with stuffed animals and tiny little trolls, each naked with that familiar jewel naval and their hair standing straight up. She walked over and picked one up with a smile. She twisted its bright orange hair around her finger and said absentmindedly, "I used to have one of these."
Draco bent down to read the sign beneath their shelf and said, "Trolls? These look nothing like trolls. And why is there a diamond in their stomachs?"
Hermione rubbed her thumb across the ginger jewel. "It's a wish stone. You rub it and make a wish."
She heard him muttering about how ridiculous that was as she made her own wish. I wish I felt like me again. She started to put the troll back down onto the shelf but saw Draco out of the corner of her eye rubbing one finger across a green troll's gem. When he saw her looking, a half smile playing across her features, he shrugged and said, "Worth a shot, right?"
They left the store, but not before Hermione bought the orange troll that reminded her of her childhood, and they continued their walk along the pier.
When they walked along the storefront of a magic shop, Draco said, "Oh, we've got to go in there!" They followed him inside, each laughing at some of the "magic" supplies. When Draco found the aisle full of trick supplies and how-to books, he said, "Well, this is just cheating. Do Muggles really believe this rubbish?"
"A magician put on a show for my class when I was in primary school," Hermione said. "And we all believed it. He pulled a rabbit out of his hat."
Draco turned to face her and said, a note of sarcasm in his voice, "A rabbit?"
"Yes, it was a fluffy white one with red eyes. We all thought he was very clever."
He shook his head in disbelief, muttering under his breath about stupidity.
"We were children," she said, her eyes narrowed in disgust. "All children are eager for something to believe in. It doesn't make them stupid. I'm sure you didn't know everything at six either." He said nothing as he continued to peruse the shelves, picking something up ever so often. She didn't know why something so innocuous could get under her skin, but she left the shop and waited for them outside.
The sun was just beginning to dip beneath the horizon, and the breeze blowing off the water whipped Hermione's hair across her face. She sat down on the bench waiting for them to come out and smelling the salty air.
When they came out of the shop, laughing with one another about how idiotic Muggle magic was, Hermione found herself aggravated with Nicola as well. She didn't know why it bothered her so much. She stopped believing in Muggle magic tricks long before she found out that magic was real, but them talking together about how ridiculous it all was felt entirely too close to magical superiority for her liking.
"Has it never crossed your minds that Walt brings us to places like this to show the similarities between wizards and Muggles?" Hermione asked, unable to mask the tone of anger in her voice.
Nicola stopped laughing and placed a hand on Hermione's arm. "I'm sorry, Hermione. We weren't trying to be insensitive. But, surely, being in on the joke now, you can see how belief in this type of magic seems so silly."
They only had an hour before they were supposed to meet the others for dinner, but Nicola said she wanted to try at least one of the roller coasters before they left. "If I leave here without forcing myself onto at least one of them, I know I'll regret it."
Draco agreed to go on with her, begrudgingly, but Hermione refused. After how awful the ropes course had been, she had no desire to ever be suspended in the air again if she could help it. She waited at the bottom of the wooden coaster, while Draco and Nicola waited in line.
Once they disappeared from view, a man sat down on the far side of the bench where Hermione was sitting. "You too afraid to go up, too?" he asked.
She glanced toward him, taking in his dark curls and easy grin. "Absolutely. I like to keep both feet on the ground."
"You and me both," he said, tapping one foot on the ground for emphasis and turning his green eyes toward her. The bright rays of the sun glinted off the slight stubble on his face. "My friends aren't going to let me hear the end of it, but I'd rather not die on my first trip to California, ya know?"
She laughed and said, "It's my first time here as well." A few couples sauntered past them, and they had to pause for a second while the coaster roared beside them.
"First time to the States? Or first time to California?" he asked, shifting slightly, so his upper body was facing her.
"Both." She scooted slightly back on the bench. She didn't really think this guy was threatening, but she'd been conditioned to not take any chances.
He reached across the bench, offering his hand. "I'm Paul."
She took his hand in hers and said, "Hermione."
"Shakespeare Hermione or Greek mythology Hermione?" he asked, with a smile. She knew he wasn't dangerous now. How many serial killers knew Shakespeare?
"Shakespeare Hermione. I have my mother to thank for that."
He chuckled and threw one arm across the back of the bench behind him. "It could be worse. My parents were both hippies. I was this close" – he lifted his hand and brought his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart – "to being Moon Child."
She laughed and twisted the loose strand of hair that the wind was blowing around her face back into her bun. "Yes, that's definitely worse. Paul seems ordinary enough, though."
"Ouch," he said, putting one hand over his heart in mock offense. "I'd like to think I'm not completely ordinary."
She laughed freely and leaned slightly toward him. "Well, there's still hope. Is your last name Rainbow?"
His smile fell, and he looked at her in shock. She thought perhaps she'd said something wrong, until he said, "How did you know?" and then smirked mischievously.
"See, then you aren't entirely ordinary. It's no 'Hermione,' of course, but…" They both shrugged as if to say, 'what can you do?'
"So, what brings you to California, Shakespeare Hermione?"
Her mind blanked as she sought for some answer that made sense while cursing herself for not having thought up an explanation before coming in the first place. She was spared from thinking of one, however, when Nicola and Draco returned. Nicola was attempting to run her fingers through her hair while Draco seemed to have embraced the windblown look, or perhaps he was too fixated on Paul to pay any attention to his hair.
"Well, I've gotten my thrills, and I'll never be doing that again," Nicola said as she stopped to stand beside Hermione. "Who's your friend?"
"This is Paul," Hermione said. "Paul, these are my friends, Nicola and Draco." She pointed toward each of them, not bothering to try and elaborate on her 'not friend' Draco. Nicola was shaking his hand politely, while Draco looked as if he'd just eaten something bitter and was trying not to show it.
"Wow, do all Brits have better names than us?" Paul asked.
"Yes," Draco and Nicola said at the same time. They all laughed, except Draco who was still looking at Paul like he was a cockroach.
Paul started to say something just as someone yelled his name from a few shops down on the boardwalk. They all turned to find a group of college-aged boys waving for Paul to join them.
"Looks like I'm being summoned. It was nice to meet you all," Paul said before turning to Hermione. "It was great talking to you, Shakespeare Hermione. Hopefully, I'll see you around. If you ever make it to New York City, I bartend at a place called The Red Wagon. Come say hi." He smiled at her as he shook her hand again, one side of his lips turning up slightly more than the other, and Hermione couldn't help but smile back. He took a few steps backward before he let go of her hand and jogged over toward his friends.
"He was cute," Nicola said, pulling Hermione's attention back to her and Draco. Draco's eyes were still narrowed in Paul's direction, but he said nothing.
"He was," Hermione said, smirking. Had he been hitting on her? Would he have asked her out if Nicola and Draco hadn't come back when they did? What would I have said?
"You should go ask him out, 'Shakespeare Hermione'," Nicola said, lifting one eyebrow haughtily toward Hermione.
"Oh, no. I couldn't do that." Hermione started off toward the colonnade, and Draco and Nicola followed behind her.
"Oh, come on. Tell her, Draco. Live a little, right?" Nicola said, slapping Draco on the arm to bring him into the conversation.
"I didn't like him," Draco said, flatly.
When they both turned to look at him questioningly, he shrugged and added, "He seemed … off, to me."
Hermione furrowed her brow skeptically. "What do you care, anyway? We aren't even friends, remember?" And she turned to walk into the restaurant without another word.
They were the last to arrive at the table, and Hermione took the seat beside Alys, knowing Nicola would sit on her other side. The last thing she wanted was to have to sit next to Draco after how rude he'd been all day.
They all ate together, discussing how their day had gone. Apparently, Dennis's group had ridden every coaster on the boardwalk. Parvati insisted it was worth it, but she still looked quite green, and she barely ate anything.
Alys and Susan had gone paragliding and Walt surfed all afternoon.
"England is a wonderful country, but they can't match the US in surfing," he said, cracking open a crab leg. His face was reddened from the wind and sun, and his hair was pulled up into his characteristic bun.
Overall, everyone seemed to be in a good mood following their day of relaxation, even Draco, surprisingly. He spoke with Dennis beside him, and Hermione thought how strange that was, but Dennis talked to him as if they were actually friends.
They couldn't be, though. Draco says he isn't here to make friends. … Was she jealous that he was talking to Dennis? That was ridiculous.
They finished their meal and followed Walt back to their spot beneath the pier, where they all joined hands again. A small gasp went around the circle as they all were snatched round the middle and portkeyed back to The Willows.
Hermione allowed her eyes a moment to adjust to the stark change in scenery. The bright California sky had been replaced by the dreary pale light of the moon reflecting off the lake. As she was still readjusting to the change, everyone else had begun to head inside. Just as she started to follow, Draco grabbed her by the hand.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked, letting go of her hand when she scowled at him.
She followed him to their normal spot - mentally chastising herself for thinking of anything between her and Draco as 'theirs' - by the granian stables and stopped.
"Perhaps I was rude to you earlier." He looked past her, into the pasture, at the faint silhouette of Equuleus as he grazed in the moonlight.
"Perhaps," she replied, coolly.
"That wasn't my intention."
She said nothing, refusing to let him get out of it with some half-apology. Well, this wasn't even an apology. It was just stringing words together to make them look like one.
"I just meant that perhaps we were getting a bit too familiar." Again, he was looking slightly over her shoulder, refusing to meet her eyes. His own were glazed over, black as the sky above them, and his expression was devoid of emotion.
She crossed her arms across her chest, refusing to acknowledge that she looked like her fourteen-year-old self, chastising Harry and Ron for not studying properly. "You know, we've already established that I can tell when you're attempting to Occlude." His expression faltered slightly, but she continued. "And for whatever reason, you're doing that now, and essentially every time you've spoken to me in the last week. I'm not sure what you think did or didn't happen the other night, but nothing did."
She hadn't planned on giving him a speech, but once she got started, she couldn't seem to stop. She tried to keep her voice even, unwilling to let him see just how hurt she was by his comments earlier or how lonely she actually was here. "You've told me that people won't ever forget who you used to be, but it seems to me like your dead set on making sure they don't. When you're done with that, when you're done pushing everyone away," Her voice broke slightly, and she hated herself for it. "I really could use a friend." And she turned and walked inside, thinking about how often their conversations ended in one of them storming off in anger.