Chapter 2 "You have me." (Rated 14 for self harm, suggestive dialogue, language, gore and blood)
After the big happy reunion and after Sofia was introduced to the rest of the Greens, I helped her set up her cell. It was one of the few left and she wasn't loving it.
"It's just so plain." She says, plopping down on the mattress, as she does, a cloud of dust puffs up. It's just me and her in there.
"Well we can always decorate." I say plopping down next to her.
"Yeah, but with what?"
"I don't know. Decorations?" This made both of us laugh.
"But for real. I don't really know what I like, you know, as me." This made me think. I didn't really know what I liked.
"Well over the winter, my dad found some comics. I like them. Maybe you will too." I suggest.
"Okay, let's try it out."She leaves her gun, and knife down on the bed.
We walk out of her cell and down stairs to mine. It's weird, I don't know where anyone is. there's no one in sight, except Beth and a sleeping Hershel in his cell. She waves to the two of us. We wave back and enter my cell.
I suddenly feel self-conscious.
I've never had a girl in my room, and it's not exactly clean. She runs her hand along my bed spread before sitting down. I stare at her for a minute, she stares at me, expectedly. I look into her eyes, searching for something. I don't really know what. I finally see how her mouth is pursed in a line, waiting.
"Oh." I say. I turn around, my face feeling hot. I curse myself. Why was I looking at her like that?
I crouch by the piece of wood that had been nailed into the wall as a makeshift shelf. I pull off a spiderman comic, it's the first one I see.
"Here." I hand it to her, looking for the second volume on my shelf. "It's spiderman. He's this guy who gets bit by a spider and-"
"I know what spiderman is." She interjects. I swallow hard and force myself to look at her.
The second volume in hand, I sit down beside Sofia. I was having a good time actually. Sitting with Sofia, reading comics. Just relaxing.
"This is boring." She says.
"Okay, so reading isn't your thing." I take the comics and put them back on the shelf. "What do you think about?"
"Huh?"
"I mean what gets your attention?"
"What?"
I sigh, frustrated. "What are you interested in?"
"I don't know." She looks at the ground, clearly thrown off.
"What happened to you out there?" I ask after staring at her for a minute. She looks up at me, her face is red, like she's trying not to cry. I sit down next to her.
"Carl, I met people. Bad people." She says.
"How were they bad?" I hesitantly ask.
"They did things. . . to me." I feel her shudder.
"Sofia, what did they do to you?" I ask, I feel the harshness in my voice as Sofia looks at me with hurt eyes. "I'm sorry. But you need to tell me. I need to know what happened to you."
"I don't want to talk about it." She says softly.
"Sofia, you have to tell me what these people were like. You have to tell my dad."
"Carl, it's not that serious." She snaps.
"Yes it is! They could be a threat!" I feel my voice rising in volume.
"It's really none of your business!" She says and storms off. I hear her stomp up the stairs.
I plop my head down on my bed. I think for a while. Why wouldn't she tell me? I can keep a secret! If it wasn't that serious than why was she crying?!
"Carl?!" I hear Glenn shout. By the looks of it, he's been shouting a while.
"Hmm?" I ask.
"It's dinner time." He simply says. He gives me a weird look though, like he wants to ask if I'm alright.
Sofia didn't show up all throughout dinner. I tried not to think about it but I had to. That fight we had. . . I thought when Sofia got back it would be like old times. Playing board games, like checkers, on the tailgate of a truck, under the watchful eye of Dale. But Dale was gone, and Sofia was different, and neither of us really liked checkers anyways.
As people started cleaning up, I thought, was I different? Did I change? Was that fight my fault?!
"Where's Sofia?" I ask, trying to be as discreet as I could.
"In her cell, said she wasn't hungry." My dad says. I can tell he's trying to sound as if he doesn't care, but I see the look he gives me out of the corner of his eye.
"I'll bring her some food, just in case." I say.
It was an excellent excuse. No one looked twice at me as I walked up the stairs to Sofia's room with a plate of food. No one except Beth. She didn't seem curious about it though. She gave me smile and I returned it with a nervous look. That's why she looked twice at me.
When I walked into Sofia's cell, I saw her quick as lightning shove something under he pillow and pull a hoodie sleeve down quickly. I dropped the plate in the door way.
"Carl?!" I hear my mom shout from downstairs.
"I-I'm fine!" I stutter back rushing over to Sofia who is already balling her eyes out silently.
I pull her hoodie sleeve up, she doesn't resist. On her wrist are freshly opened slits. I look at her and, with one hand I grab a bloody knife from under her pillow. I look at her again. She's sobbing.
"Why?" I ask, trying not to explode.
"No one wants me here!" She whisper shouts, "I know you don't Carl. I kissed you. . . I kissed you goodbye. I was going to kill myself after I heard about my mom. I can't do it! I have no one!"
I feel tears rush to my eyes. I swallow them whole and pull her shuddering body close to mine. She puts her face in my chest, rests it there casually. I hear her cry and cry as I rub her back.
"You have me." I whisper.