It's a Hard Maybe

by Alexia2027

Sofia returns. She's different though. She's strong, she's brave, she's independent, she's sarcastic. She's hot. But being away from everyone for almost a year she went through some shit (including puberty). With returning to find out her mom died, Sofia has no one to talk to.

3. Thinking About You

Chapter 3 (Rated 14 for self harm, language, and *certain items*)

I don't remember exactly what happened last night. I remember after cradling Sofia for a while, I heard Daryl's heavy boots coming up the stairs.

"Please don't tell." Sofia begs me. I see pleading in her eyes and hear it in her voice.

"I won't." I say shortly, picking up the spilled food. "Well, see you later Sofia." I say maybe a little too loud and cheery.

I pass Daryl on the steps. Daryls one of those people that have muscle not from hitting the gym but from actually using his arms to the limit. He looks at me sceptically but continues walking up the stairs as I walk down them.

I'm so busy thinking about Sofia, I run into Glenn. "Wow, little dude. You okay?" He asks. I hear real concern in his voice.

I nod, giving off a fake smile. "Where's my dad?" I ask. I pray that Glenn didn't notice the crack in my voice at the end of my sentence.

He did. "Um. . . . outside." He pauses, "Up in tower four, on duty."

"Thanks man." I say.

I pat him on the shoulder in what I hope is a normal way. I needed to talk to my dad. I needed to tell him about the people that hurt Sofia.

Wait.

I don't even know anything about these people. What they look like, how they travel, who's their leader.

Plus, Sofia doesn't want me to talk to him about it anyway.

But I'm already outside.

I love the smell of the night air, even with the slight stench of rot from the walkers.

I might as well go for a late night stroll.

The sun is up by just a little bit and the rest of the sky is a dark purple with stars sprinkled around.

I walk around the prison twice and it's pitch black out. I'm a little tired, but I'm not ready to go inside. I've got too much on my mind. I'm on the opposite side of the prison from cell block C where we're staying so no one will look here. I climb an out post, my knife held high.

There was only one walker, an old guy in a uniform that I killed easily.

At the top of the outpost, there is a small desk attached to the wall, facing the prison. On the left side of the desk is a little cabinet. I stare for a minute, curiosity over coming me, I lunge for the handle. It opens with a loud creak and I have to pause and remember that I closed and locked the outpost door.

I did.

I look into the cabinet and laugh at what I see. A whole bunch of blankets and pillows. On top is a box. A small box about 6 inches tall. A box of condoms.

This must have been Glenn and Maggie's stash.

I decide it's probably not a good idea to use the blankets and step out onto the balcony. I grip the protective railing until my knuckles turn white.

I let the tears swell in my eyes until I can't possibly hold them in any longer and let out a stifled sob.

Sofia was cutting herself. She was causing pain to herself. Why would anyone do that? How would anyone do that? I couldn't even imagine. But then again, I do have my mom and dad and soon to be sibling.

I think about health class before. Our teacher, Mrs. Flemming had told us why people abuse themselves, both mentally and physically.

It's because they need to feel something. Because they need to know that there are different types of pain.

Was Sofia really doing this to herself?

I couldn't let her go on. I cared about her. A lot.

I sat down, back against the door into the office of the outpost and closed my eyes. Tears still poured from them as I cried out in mental pain. Surely not loud enough for anyone to hear. Hopefully.

I can't help but think what would have happened if I hadn't walked in on her. She would have killed herself. She would have killed herself. No matter how many times I say it, I still think it's insane and depressing. No matter how many times I say it, I can't believe it.

I don't remember exactly when I fell asleep. I just remember closing my eyes and not opening them until I heard people shouting my name.

"CARL! CARL! WHERE ARE YOU?!" I hear people from my group shouting.

I sit up and wipe the sleep from my eyes I bend my legs out of their awkward position and stand up. Stumbling a little and grabbing the railing for support. The first thing I realize is the sun. It's more than half way up the sky.

I thought for a minute and decided not to expose Maggie and Glenn's secret place. I sprinted, quickly but quietly down the stairwell and out the door.

I ran around the prison and pretended I'd been there all along.

"What's up guys?" I ask, trying to sound normal.

"What's up? What's up?!" My dad shouts at me in fury. I can practically feel the anger radiating off of him. "YOU'RE GONE FOR OVER 12 HOURS AND YOU SAY 'WHAT'S UP?!'"

"ACTUALLY, I WAS JUST CRYING MY EYES OUT BECAUSE SOMEONE I CARE A HELL OF A LOT ABOUT WAS TRYING TO KILL THEMSELVES!" Is what I wish I said back.

"Sorry dad." Is what I actually say.

"Where the hell were you anyway?" He says, calming slightly at the sound of my voice.

"I was. . . ." I try so hard to look for an excuse.

"He went out looking for you. Must have climbed up the wrong guard tower and decided to wait. But obviously you never showed up." Glenn clears his throat when he finishes speaking.

I give a thankful eye

"Oh. Well you missed breakfast and lunch, Carl. Are you hungry?" He asks, finally calmed down.

"Yeah."