Chapter 44: Unwanted Romantics
"Hello?" Kousaku offered to the silence, as he found that the dojo too was empty.
Taking a deep breath, he tried to keep himself centered. There weren't any police around, so it probably wasn't an evacuation due to a gas leak or something. So... maybe they just thought he'd be at Hiroshi's long enough to eat dinner there, and all went out somewhere?
That seemed plausible enough. Though it left him without dinner. And he was kind of hungry.
A few moments later, Kousaku was rifling through the cupboards, looking for something a bit nicer than instant noodles to prepare. Especially since those noodles would be Nabiki's, and he wasn't about to risk her wrath for eating her food.
Eventually he settled on frying some egg to make into a sandwich. Then it was time to work on homework, which took most of the next couple hours (in part because he got distracted by a manga a few times).
With the sun setting, he was starting to get genuinely concerned. Kousaku was starting to debating phoning the police when the telephone began to ring. Hurrying over, he almost tripped in his rush to reach the phone.
"T-Tendo residence, S-Sakamoto Kousaku here," the boy said, trying to keep his growing worry out of his voice.
"Ah, good, Kousaku," Soun's voice said from the other end. "I just want to let you know that we're all okay. We're just at the Oozora's... there, well, there was a bit of an incident, but, like I said, we're fine now."
"I-incident? What kind of incident!?" Kousaku asked. Images of ambulances and hearses danced in his head.
"A bit of a martial arts feud... you wouldn't happen to know where the old master is, would you?"
Kousaku blinked. How was he supposed to remember something as trivial as that when he was this worried... "I... Okinawa? He wanted to drag me off to enjoy the 'last hurrah of beach season' or something."
"Huzzah! Fantastic, my boy!" Soun exclaimed. "Oh, and we should be home in a few hours, don't worry. See you then."
With that, Soun hung up.
At least Kousaku had a couple of answers, but it also felt like he had more questions now.
"You'll be glad to know we've got a location on the little creep," Ibari said as he stepped into the holding room. "Now, as much as I hate you for what you did to my little girl... I'm willing to make you an offer."
"Yeah?" the prisoner offered noncommittally.
"I'll give you the information of where he is, if you agree to take him somewhere far away. Since you can fly... dropping him off in Siberia sounds nice."
The teen shrugged. "Sure, can do. So, where is he?"
Ibari shook his head. "Not until you've healed up a bit. Break open those stitches and you'll need even more recovery time."
The next day had gone peacefully. Rie clung on to every detail of the story, though she could tell certain things were being glossed over. She was glad to see Ukyo seemed to be on good terms with the others now though. She'd been avoiding work out of solidarity with her friends, but... she was rather missing the spending money, and didn't want to be adding to tensions herself. Still, she made sure to catch up to Ranma just as school ended, noting with interest the boy had gone girl and was dressed up rather cute now.
"S-Saotome," Rie started, trying to get the other girl's attention.
"Oh, hey! Rie, what's up?"
"I... you and Ukyo-kun, are you two on better terms now?" Rie asked.
Ranma took a moment to think it over. "Y'know, I think so? Not totally back to being besties, but... Ucchan bein' ready ta take a beatin' for Suzume's rebuilt most of my trust."
Rie smiled and nodded. "I'm so happy to hear that. And, have a good afternoon. Bye!"
With that, Hibari headed off to Ucchan's. Hopefully things wouldn't be too tense.
It only took a few minutes to get to the restaurant, where Rie was surprised to find a small group of confused patrons waiting for the restaurant to open. Having seen Ukyo leave earlier, Rie tried to reassure the customers before slipping around to the service entrance. The girl then pulled out the key she'd been given and headed into the restaurant.
To her shock, she found Ukyo passed out behind a sizzling grill. Rie rushed over, shutting the grill off, before dragging Ukyo upstairs. The chef was sweating fiercely and seemed hot to touch. Ukyo's cheeks were also bright red.
Fearing what could happen if she didn't help with the chef's condition, Rie decided it she had to cool the other teen off immediately. The first step was opening some windows and turning on a fan. Then, turning about as red as Ukyo was, Rie began removing some of the chef's outer layers. The undershirt was next, as Rie was sure it had to be hindering heat flow. Trying not to get too flustered by Ukyo's well toned form, Rie hurried down to the freezer, grabbing ice trays and wrapping them in paper towels, before running back upstairs to place the ice against the chef.
The cold began to cause Ukyo to stir, and, after a couple moments, Ukyo's eyes opened.
"Oh man, it was so hot," Ukyo mumbled absently.
"Are you feeling better?" Rie asked nervously, leaning in.
Suddenly Ukyo's eyes opened fully and the chef bolted upright, hands covering a bare chest. "I-I can explain!"
Rie blinked. "Explain what?"
Ukyo stared as Rie, before slowly glancing down at their own chest. "Oh. Right. They're gone right now... uh... but now I probably have to explain."
"Are.. are you like Shui then?" Rie asked.
It was Ukyo's turn to blink in surprise. "P-pardon?"
"Oh no... did you not know? I... oh no."
"I might know, depending on what we're talking about. Though, if I'm wrong... Shui might honestly kill me for leaking that secret."
Rie paled. "I... Shui might not be happy if I tell you what I figured out if you didn't know... d-do you really think he'd kill someone?"
"Maybe."
The two teens sat quietly for a moment, trying to figure out how to probe which secret the other was talking about, without revealing their own due to possible threat of death.
"How about we just phone the Nekohanten and do this the most honest way?" Rie offered.
"I... yeah. Especially since there's a lot to explain," Ukyo replied. "Tell Shui openly is probably our best bet at avoiding murderiness."
It was about an hour later than Rie found herself in the upstairs living room of the Neko Hanten. She swallowed nervously as Shui entered the room. The teen had always been nice to her before, but revealing she knew a major secret was rather nerve wracking.
Having Shui sit directly in front of her, Rie was overwhelmed with a mixture of fear and the sight of just how handsome Shui was.
The Chinese teen smiled gently. "Whisper secret to me, I will know if it is what Kuonji knows."
Rie nodded, and leaned forward. She could smell Shui now and... the smell was rather fruity. Watermelon, probably?
"I...I know y-you're Sh-Shampoo," Rie whispered, before jumping back and slipping behind Ukyo for safety.
Shui's red eyes went wide. "You... how? And, yes, spatula boy knows."
"I, well... at the beach, Mousse kept bringing up Shampoo and started chasing you around, so I had to wonder... and then after school the one day, I-I snuck a flower petal in your hair, and it stayed there after you changed," Rie explained, keeping most of her body behind Ukyo still.
"Stupid Mousse," Shui sighed. "And, Kuonji... why did this come up?"
"I... well, apparently getting cat tongued was a terrible idea when you work over a grill all day, because I passed out from the heat... Rie pulled off some of my clothes to try to help cool me off, and I worried she'd see things that aren't there right now," Ukyo replied, blushing slightly.
Shui burst into laughter, snorting a few times, before finally getting the fit under control. "Oh man... I'm sorry. I forgot to warn you about that... Then again, you did ask me for help at close to midnight when I was getting ready for bed. Wasn't totally awake. Well, we have a spare Phoenix Pill, don't worry. Been keeping one on hand just in case."
"Oh thank goodness. I can only handle being closed so many days before my accounts slide into the red," Ukyo replied.
"So, um, Shui... why do you tend to be a girl for work?" Rie asked, finally sliding out from behind Ukyo as she realised she wasn't in any real danger now.
"It's how I like to be," Shui offered with a shrug.
That, however, confused Rie more. "It is? Th-then why are you at school as a boy? I... is it about getting into the boys' change room?"
A smirk spread across Shui's face as Rie blushed at her own question.
"Nah. To be honest, I like looking at girls just as much as boys. Maybe more... but that might just be from being in love with more girls than guys right now," Shui replied. "I was signed up as a guy though for... complicated reasons."
Rie was still blushing, a little flustered by Shui's casually admitting to liking girls (which felt weird to think was scandalous considering how Shui was the most popular 'boy' in school with the girls), but an offer she made to Ranma echoed in Rie's head, and she felt it appropriate to give to Shui too.
"S-since you have to spend so much time as a guy, if... if you ever want to hang out with a friend as a girl, I'd be happy to," Rie said, trying to give a warm and friendly smile and a slight bow.
Shui's eyes lit up, before the handsome teen launched over and hugged Rie. "Yes! That sounds wonderful!"
Rie found her brain overheating, and half wondered if steam was coming out of her ears. The cutest boy in school was hugging her... but was also a girl who was obviously hopeful for more chances to embrace her femininity. Rie was going to have to work on keeping these things straight.
Finally released from the hug, Rie took a moment to breath, before remembering who else was in the room.
"I, er, Ukyo-kun, I... did you want to hang out as girls at all?" Rie asked.
"Ooh, yes. Do tell!" Shui added, leaning forward.
Ukyo stared at the other two blankly. "It, uh, honestly hadn't occurred to me? I'll have to think about it."
"I-if you don't want to... that's fine," Rie replied apologetically. "If you prefer being a boy... well, I had completely thought you were one until this point, so it doesn't change anything? N-not that—"
"Rie-chan, breath," Ukyo said. "I'll think about it, okay?"
Rie nodded, blushing once again.
Hibari was doing her best to run through some balancing exercises in the Oozora dojo, despite her bandaging and sore arm, when one of her father's men knocked at the entrance.
"Come in," Hibari said, slowly extending a leg and shifting her body.
"I, uh, ya've got a letter, miss," the man replied.
Hibari smiled. Nearly all the goons were calling her feminine titles (at least to her or Ranma's face), and that was such a welcome improvement to how they'd been before.
"One moment," Hibari replied, slowly lowering her leg back down, until she was in a normal standing position and able to turn to the man.
He handed her the envelope and scurried off almost before she'd managed to say 'thank you'. The blonde girl had to frown slightly, before trying to figure out the best way to open an envelope with a broken arm (at least Ranma's little potion mean she'd probably need a couple more days of the cast, rather than weeks). Eventually she managed, and pulled the letter out.
"'Dearest lark, how I love to see your free spirit flying across the open sky. Yet how much more I long for thou to come and rest in my heart'... the heck does that mean?" Hibari grumbled, double checking for any address information on the envelope.
All it said was the English letter 'J'.
Hibari headed into the main house, looking for either Ranma or Tsugumi for a second opinion. Ranma she found very quickly, the other girl having an envelope of her own.
"Hey, Hibari, I just got the weirdest letter," Ranma said, "Somethin' about bein' a noble wild mare needin' a field ta call home? You got any idea what that could mean?"
"Is there any information on the envelope?" Hibari asked.
"It just has a, uh, a 'J' on it," Ranma said, flipping the envelope to double check it.
"Pretty much the same as the letter I got then," Hibari said, holding up her own envelope and letter. "I think it's a love letter, but it seems almost more focused on being poetic than anything."
"Y-ya don't think Akane's samurai's fallen for us, do ya?" Ranma asked, naming the only person she could think of who was obnoxious enough to send a letty like that.
Hibari shook her head. "He seems pretty single minded in his focus on Akane. And sees you as a guy anyway."
"Hm... well, whoever it is, I ain't sure I like him sendin' weird poems ta my fiancee... or me."
Ootori Jun's face was buried in her hands as she sat at the breakfast table. She couldn't believe what her mother had just told her.
"Why must you butt into everything?" Jun groaned, still not looking up.
"My dear, I cannot sit back and see my daughter struggle so in her efforts to woo two lovely girls," the professional otokoyaku declared. "So, embracing my current role, I asked myself what Mr. Darcy would do in your shoes."
Jun turned to her brothers, hoping for support. Sadly none seemed ready to face the wrath of their mother.
Hibari, Ukyo, Ranma (in girl mode after an incident with a water fountain), Shampoo, and Rie sat together on the school roof, enjoying their lunch break. There were probably only a few weeks left before the fall weather started to make it a bit too chilly up there.
"So, Ranma, I'm sorry... I couldn't keep the lock up," Ukyo was explaining, having summed up the events of the evening before. "I've only got so much in the way of savings, and need a buffer in case anything major breaks."
"It's okay, Ucchan," Ranma replied. "I'm not even sure locking yourself as a guy would prove anything... Nannichuan magic seems to make your life easier. What you did to help Suzume helped a lot though."
Hibari nodded. "I really appreciate that too. I really wish things weren't so awkward thanks to that dumb panda engaging Ranma left and right, so we could be friends without any tension."
The sound of the nearby door opening distract the five girls from their conversation. A familiar looking girl with a cropped black pixie cut stepped out. Jun scanned the roof a moment, before spotting Ranma and Hibari. The girl half jogged on her way to them.
"Saotome, Oozora! I... I just heard about your injury, Hibari, I'm so sorry. I hope it heals up soon though," Jun said, her tone quite genuine.
"What do you—J! You're J, aren't you, Jun?" Hibari declared, pointing a finger on her good arm at the volleyball captain.
"So you did get the letters. I was actually coming to apologise about those. They were my mother's doing. That woman refuses to leave anything alone. I'm sorry," Jun explained.
Four of the five girls gave Jun very unimpressed looks. (Rie was incapable of that level of visible sass, and stuck to nervously studying her bento box.)
"I'm serious. I've asked her to stop, but... if you get any more, please do tell me, so I know to ask her more forcefully," Jun explained.
"Listen... Jun, you're tryin' ta be polite, so I'm going to say this about as nice as I can manage: my love life is already a mess, and I don't need more people tryin' ta get involved, got it?" Ranma replied.
"I... y-yes. Of course. Th-the invitation to join the volleyball team remains open however, both to you and Hibari. Er, when her arm heals," Jun offered, her smile just a little strained.
"For the... I don't know-th time, it's a girls' team. I can't join, even if I wanted to," Ranma snapped back. To be honest, it annoyed her a bit that she couldn't, but she was enrolled as a guy, and didn't think there was any real way to change that (especially as Shui had yet to change her enrollment information).
Jun looked ready to argue further when the door opened again. A few girls appeared, all wearing volleyball team uniforms.
"Jun-sempai, weren't we supposed to be practicing?" one of the girls asked.
Jun blushed a bit. "Right, yes! I'll talk to you two later, but I have to go."
The five girls watched her run off, waiting until the door was closed behind her before letting out sighs of relief.
"I'm gonna be honest, with the kidnappings and everything else going on... I kinda forgot about that volleyball stuff," Ranma said, before diving into her lunch to make up for lost time.
"Totally figured she'd have given up by now," Hibari replied, starting to eat her own.
"Maybe you could try sending Sabu to spook her off?" Ukyo offered.
The blonde shook her head. "Invoking Yakuza resources over high school drama, especially something petty, like sports, which this is 'officially' about, is total overkill. Ranma and I can handle it on our own. Be a major loss of cool points to overreact like that."
Ukyou pouted a little, arms crossed. "Alright... If I were a Yakuza heir I'd totally use my resources for trivial things."
"Honestly, same," Shui added. "Making other people do your work for you is very fun."
Ranma giggled a little. "I'd be careful about saying you want to part of Yakuza families around Hibari's old man. He'd have either of you in wedding dresses before you knew it."
As Shui blushed and Ukyo paled, the last girl present couldn't help be be slightly concerned.
"I think they're both a bit young, don't you?" she asked.
"How are they-Oh!" Ranma gasped. "I... uh, it ain't quite what ya think, but... it's complicated."
Rie remained confused as Hibari glared at Ranma and the curvy cute replied with the most innocent eyes she could muster.
"I forgot she was there, I'm sorry," Ranma apologised once more, as he and Hibari approached the Oozora compound. (He'd returned to male for gym class, as it seemed less of a hassle than trying to join the girls would likely be.)
Hibari sighed. "I just want you to be more careful in future, okay? I... I get that Rie might be okay to tell, but... pretty well anyone else is a risk."
"I'll try... I'm just not that great with secrets," Ranma muttered, studying the ground as he walked.
"I wish it didn't have to be a secret either, but it does. I can just imagine how someone like Kaori and her cronies would react if things got out," Hibari replied, before growing distracted by a white rolls royce parked out front of her home. "Oh, looks like daddy has a visitor."
Ranma marvelled at the massive car a moment too, before he followed Hibari into the compound. The pair reached the genkan and removed their shoes.
"Ranma, my boy! It's good to see you again!" a strange man called out from the hallway.
Turning, both teens were surprised by the large eared man in a baggy red hat.
"Who are you?" Ranma asked, not having even the slightest hint of recognition.
"Ah, yes. I suppose you were too young to remember me. Still, come on, I've got someone for you to meet and your father has a story to tell you!"
Ranma and Hibari followed the man cautiously. As they reached the meeting room, Ranma realised they were holding hands, but wasn't sure who'd grabbed who's hand.
In the room, they found a nervous looking Genma, a very peeved looking Ibari, a mysterious person in a bridal kimono, and Sabu sitting quietly in the corner watching the proceedings.
"Now then, Saotome, have you really not told your son about the engagement?" the mysterious man asked.
"There's another engagement?" Ranma asked, sighing while admitting internally he wasn't that surprised.
"Yes. Please do explain," Ibari seethed through his teeth.
"Ah, well," Genma began, eyes searching for an escape route. "W-when Ranma was very young, barely more than a baby, I went travelling with him on a training trip. We... we were running rather low on food, when I encountered Daikoku-san here. He said he didn't need anything, apart for a male heir. S-so, well, I offered him Ranma, and was given a generous meal of rice, two pickles, and a herring. I later rescued Ranma, and thought the matter was done, but... well, as you can see, Daikoku-san's good at finding people."
Ranma's eye twitched. "I'm worth a bowl of rice and a pickle to you, pops!?"
"I said two pickles and a sardine," Genma replied, trying to give his most innocent face.
"Ahem. Well, we have a bit of an impasse," Ibari said, glaring at both Genma and Daikoku. "Ranma is engaged to my Hibari, due to a much more significant debt accrued by his father. I'm not open to giving him up so easily."
"I'm sure we can work something out. I've done quite well for myself financially. Perhaps I can pay Saotome's debt? After all, it's about the promise and acquiring a male heir, more than the material loss, for me," Daikoku replied, his tone dismissive as he produced a paper fan to cool himself a bit.
"Sabu, what's Saotome's tab now?" Ibari asked.
The slick enforcer pulled out a calculator. "Well, let's see. It was half a million yen for the initial loan. Then 650 grand for the second. Then, 12 years of interest, at 12% monthly interest levels... 4.8 million yen."
Daikoku's mouth fell open for a moment. "That's a bit more than expected."
"Ooh. I like that worth estimate a lot more than a bowl of rice and a sardine," Ranma added, smiling towards Hibari.
"Along with two pickles," Genma added weakly. "And it was a herring."
"That's not counting fees for breach of contract," Ibari replied flatly.
To the surprise of nearly everyone, the mysterious person in the bridal kimono slid forward, whispering into Daikoku's ear.
"What a good idea, Kaori!" the man declared. "There's a martial arts competition coming up this weekend. What say you to my girl challenging your daughter for Ranma's hand? The winner gets the boy?"
"My dau-ah yes, Hibari?" Ibari said, before glancing nervously towards the girl in question.
"Well, apparently as a practitioner of Anything Goes, I have to accept," Hibari replied, side eyeing Ranma who gave an apologetic look.
"Excellent! The Martial Arts Delivery Girls Competition will be such a good time," Daikoku declared.
Author's note: If anyone's interested, I have a Hibari ask blog over on tumblr. Just down as Ask Hibari Oozora.