In group that night, Hermione's thoughts were still consumed with Ron's betrayal as everyone filed in…until Alys came in last pushing the pensieve, the cart wheels squeaking across the floor.
"As you can see, we'll be delving into someone else's memories tonight," Walt said, as they each looked around at the rest of the group, likely wondering, just like Hermione was, who was volunteering to showcase their trauma. Honestly, she'd been considering it herself, but hadn't yet gotten the nerve to speak with Alys about it, and then, with the situation during tonight's visits, sharing her own was the last thing on her mind.
"Tonight, Seamus has agreed to allow us all to see some of what has brought him here. Seamus," Walt said, turning toward Seamus, "I assume you're staying out here?"
When Seamus nodded, Walt asked, "Do you have anything to say before we go in?"
Seamus wiped his hands nervously on the sides of his pants and shook his head, and Walt laid a hand across his shoulder encouragingly. He told the group to join hands as they'd done every other time before stepping into the pensieve, and Hermione took Draco's hand in hers, feeling his thumb brush back and forth along the back of her hand. She looked toward him, expecting to see him offering her another secret smile, but found his brows furrowed in worry instead. She didn't have a chance to ask about it, not that she thought she could while surrounded by the rest of the group anyway. Without another word, Walt uncorked the bottle in his hand, tipping the swirling silver mist into the bowl, before taking Susan's hand beside him and dipping his finger into the liquid.
With a jolt, Hermione felt her feet leave the floor, and the harsh fluorescent lights of the Willows' Group Therapy room were replaced by the dimly lit sconces of what Hermione recognized as the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom at Hogwarts. She looked around, finding familiar faces across the room, but it didn't bring a smile to her face to see the youthful faces of her housemates as it might have had she seen this memory in any other circumstances. Instead, she knew this wasn't meant to be a heartwarming scene, based on the fact that Seamus had chosen this memory and because the dark face of Amycus Carrow was staring down his nose at the group of Gryffindors in front of him.
"The Dark Lord has placed me here to instruct you on your proper place within the new world order," he said, his black robes billowing behind him as he walked around the classroom, circling the students like a shark before the kill. "Within this capacity, I've been given the power to use whatever means necessary to ensure that the lesson really sinks in." His lips turned up in a dangerous smile as he looked down at the Parvati in Seamus' memory. She was sitting in the front row, dressed in her school robes, and leaning as far back from the menacing man in front of her as the desk would allow.
Laughter rang out in the back of the classroom, and Hermione and the others turned to see Seamus sitting at a desk a few rows behind them. Seamus scoffed and asked, "What does that mean exactly? Your Lord wants you to what, torture us until we praise him as our king?"
His face was thinner, and it looked strange to Hermione who was so used to seeing it covered in the auburn beard he now sported. The memory version of him may look more youthful in appearance, but his eyes still blazed in the same way. He was laughing, but he showed no signs of joy. No, he was rebelling, in whatever way he could, which in this memory took the form of laughing in the face of the Death Eater in front of him.
Hermione felt her stomach tighten at the realization of what she was about to see. Before she could really process what was happening a bang erupted from the front of the room, and Seamus was immediately thrown from his chair. A collective gasp went around the room from the rest of the students as well as the ones simply watching the memory. Just like every other time Hermione had watched these memories, she was taken aback at what she was seeing. Knowing that something traumatic was coming didn't at all make it any easier to see.
Neville, after getting over the initial shock at what had just taken place, leapt from his chair and ran to Seamus who was now crumpled in the floor, one hand holding the back of his head where it had collided with the wall behind him and the other reaching for his wand in his robes.
"You'd be wise to leave that in your pocket, boy," Amycus said walking right through Walt and Susan to stare down at Seamus who was looking up at him, equal parts anger and astonishment at having actually been attacked by a Hogwarts professor.
"Looks like Mr…?" He looked down at Seamus questioningly.
"Finnigan," Seamus said through his teeth.
"Finnigan here wants to give you all a prime example of what's going to happen to those who don't fall in line. Vince, come here."
From out of the shadows stepped Crabbe. Hermione and presumably the others hadn't seen him in the back of the room until his name was called, and he walked through the center of them, his eyes full of malice as he towered over Seamus and Neville.
Amycus clapped him on the back once and turned away. "I think he'll need–" he seemed to contemplate for a moment, "two before it really sinks in. What do you think, Vince?"
"Better make it three," Crabbe replied with a smile as he pulled his wand from his pocket.
Hermione could hear the real Parvati's strangled sobs beside her, so she took a step closer and put her arm around her just as the first Cruciatus left Crabbe's lips and Seamus began screaming. Hermione closed her eyes tight, thinking of potions ingredients as Seamus collapsed to the floor.
When the screaming stopped, Hermione opened her eyes and found herself in the middle of the Great Hall, surrounded by dozens of students; some she didn't recognize, but many she did – Terry Boot, Parvati and Lavender, Neville, and Luna; most of the students she remembered from her year in Gryffindor and those at least two years behind her were there as well. Hermione was taken aback when she saw Pansy, Theo, and Blaise amongst them as well. Her first instinct was that they were a part of the opposing side rather than the group that was clearly in trouble, but when Professor Snape spoke up from the front of the room, addressing all the students beneath him, it was obvious that they were being lumped in with the rest.
"You're all here in detention for your feeble attempts at rebellion," Snape said, his voice sending shivers down Hermione's back. She'd watched the man die. Seeing him now, hearing his characteristic drawl, was surreal. "Let me make myself very clear. The Dark Lord has already won. If you wish to live in this world, then you would do well to remember my words. Your efforts are futile and wasted." He looked around the room at each of them, his eyes cold and as black as his robes. "If you wish to die, then by all means, continue. Do with them as you will," Snape said, presumably to Alecto Carrow to his left, but his eyes remained fixated on the students standing beneath the dais before he quickly turned on his heels and left the room, black robes billowing behind him, giving Hermione a faint sense of déjà vu.
Alecto strolled to the center of the dais and smiled, her yellowed teeth peeking out from beneath her lips. "I think a few rounds of the Cruciatus will suffice, boys," she said, glancing toward Crabbe and Goyle, and Hermione gasped to see Draco standing behind them. She hadn't even noticed he was standing there; she'd been too focused on the mixed looks of fear and defiance on her friends' faces. He looked almost bored.
If she'd been there that day, standing alongside her friends and awaiting her own torture, she likely wouldn't have even noticed, thinking him as much a part of the mayhem as the rest of them, but here, standing close enough to him and knowing him better than she had then, she could see the small signs that he was Occluding, though poorly by the looks of it. He had one hand shoved into the pocket of his pants and the other gripped his wand so tightly that his hand was trembling slightly, and the disinterested look in his eyes was offset by the clear clenching of his jaw.
She turned seeking out the real Draco – her Draco, she thought – and found him a few steps behind her, a similar look on his face, but with no wand to occupy his hands, he was standing behind them all, twisting the signet ring on his finger, as he always did when he was uncomfortable.
She started to take a step toward him but a loud cry from in front of her brought her attention back to Seamus' memory. She turned to find Seamus on his knees, his hand trying to staunch the flow of blood from his nose. Neville took a step toward him and a curse hit the floor directly in front of his feet, halting him in his tracks.
"Ah ah ah," Alecto said, pointing her wand at Neville, "it's not your turn to play, Longbottom." She turned her attention back toward Seamus, as did the rest of those watching the memory. The blood had stopped running from his nose, but his mouth and the front of his shirt was stained red and wet. "Finnigan, I've told you to change that look on your face," but even now, Seamus' eyes burned with the same fury as they had in the previous memory, the same fury Hermione had seen in them for years.
"I'm not sure what it's going to take to change your attitude, Finnigan… but," Alecto said, jumping off the dais and walking toward Seamus, "I have a lovely idea. Draco, give Finnigan your wand." She never took her eyes off Seamus, but Memory Draco's attempt at nonchalance faltered.
"What?" he asked, incredulously from behind Alecto.
"You heard me," she said, enunciating slowly as she turned toward him.
Memory Draco took a step forward, his eyes sizing Alecto up condescendingly. "I don't take orders from you," he snapped.
Surprisingly, Alecto laughed, the sound high and shrill, not at all what one would expect to come out of her. Crabbe and Goyle both seemed at a loss at whether or not they should join in or remain faithful to their "friend." They were both staring back and forth between Draco and Alecto nervously, not a trace of the malice Hermione had seen in Seamus' last memory.
"Oh, that's rich," Alecto said, her laughter dying out. "But you actually do take orders from me." Draco closed his hand into a fist a few times at his side before he too jumped off the platform and joined Alecto in front of Seamus. He cast one furious look toward Alecto before extending his wand to Seamus. Seamus reached out and took it, their eyes locking on one another in equally heated glares before Draco let go of his wand and walked back to the stage. He leaned up against it, shoving his hands into his pockets as he rested one foot on the wall behind him and turned his face away from whatever it was that Alecto was about to do.
"Good boy," Alecto said derisively toward Draco before turning her attention back to Seamus. "First off, I can see what's going through your mind right now, and if that wand so much as flicks in my direction I promise you this night will get a whole lot worse for you. We can do this the easy way," she paused to tilt her head to one side, the candles causing the shadows across her face to be even more menacing, "or the really easy way. That's up to you."
"Longbottom, come join your boyfriend," she said, eliciting a laugh from Crabbe and Goyle. When Neville shuffled toward her, she continued. "Finnigan, you're going to Crucio Longbottom here, and if you don't then the four of us will curse everyone in this room, multiple times." She was smiling at Seamus, as she grabbed Neville by the shoulder and shoved him to his knees in front of him. "Get on with it."
"No," Seamus said, his jaw quivering slightly, and Hermione wasn't sure if it was in anger or fear. "I won't -"
"Just do-," Neville said, but his words were cut off by the back of Alecto's hand striking him across the face.
"Shut up!" she yelled, and her calm demeanor cracked for the first time. In that moment, Hermione saw a bit of Bellatrix in Alecto's eyes, but just as quickly, she'd regained her composure.
Seamus looked like he was fighting an internal battle, his gaze shifting from Alecto's face in front of him to Neville's at his feet. But apparently, he'd hesitated too long because Alecto turned quickly and snarled, "Crucio," at a small girl in the front of the room whom Hermione didn't recognize. She fell to the floor and her screams echoed off the walls around them. A few of the students covered their ears frantically; others tried to run to her aid before Crabbe and Goyle fired off spells at their feet to keep them in place.
All at once the girl stopped screaming, but she lay crying on the floor, curled around herself.
Alecto turned back to Seamus. "Your move, Finnigan." Seamus was breathing heavily now, sweat dripping from his temples, creating pink trails through the dried blood on his face. "Too late," she said, as she cast another curse, this time at Terry Boot. Hermione heard his screams just as she had the girl's, but she wasn't looking at him this time. Her attention was drawn to the Memory Draco still standing against the wall, looking out the window as if this whole scene was beneath him. And yet, just as Alecto had cast both curses, he'd visibly winced, his eyes shut tight almost involuntarily. Both times he quickly regained his self-control, but it was clear to Hermione and anyone who cared to look that he wasn't okay with what was going on around him.
When Terry stopped screaming, Seamus gave in. "Okay, okay!" he yelled. "I'll do it. Just stop, please."
"Please," Alecto, tilting her head slightly, seeming to ponder Seamus' words. "Please… I like the sound of you begging, Finnigan. And I love that I've wiped that look off your face finally. I really didn't think it'd be this easy."
Seamus' nostrils flared and his jaws were so tight Hermione was surprised you couldn't hear his teeth cracking, but he'd schooled his features enough to appease her.
"But, there's really no fun in that, is there, boys?" Alecto said, shouting the words over her shoulders at her cronies now; they clearly were no longer Draco's. Alecto snatched the wand out of Seamus' hand, tossing it over her shoulder carelessly in Memory Draco's direction. "We won't be needing that anymore." She turned, walking away from Seamus, and stopped to lean on the dais, just like Draco was doing on the other side of the room. "I want you to hit him instead."
"What?" Seamus asked, his brows furrowing as his eyes shot down to Neville at his feet.
"What the fuck? Are you all deaf tonight? I said hit him. I want you," she enunciated each word as if she were talking to a small child, "to hit him in the face." Alecto licked her lips, her tongue fat and pink in the moonlight and glare of the sconces, as she leaned back, resting her hands behind her on the platform. The hungry look on her face said she was obviously enjoying this game of cat and mouse.
Seamus hesitated again, looking down at Neville, the look on his face definitely one of fear now. In the split second he took to weigh his options, Crabbe had shot a curse across the room, hitting Lavender square in the chest. She fell to the floor, writhing in pain, her cries ringing in Hermione's ears.
All at once, Seamus swung, his fist connecting with Neville's face and Hermione recoiled, her hand covering her mouth at the awful crunch that she could almost feel in her bones. Neville rolled to the side, his hand reaching for his own face in the same way Hermione had. When he sat back up, an angry red welt was blooming on his cheekbone. Alecto walked back toward them, stooping to look at Neville's face.
Alecto clicked her tongue a few times disparagingly toward Seamus. She walked behind Seamus, looking over his shoulder at Neville. "I think you can do better than that, Finnigan." She ran her hands across his arms and chest, and Seamus grit his teeth, tensing beneath her touch. "Look at these muscles. Strapping, young man like you, I really think you can do better." She walked back around, resuming her position at the front of the platform. "Hit him again."
Seamus' eyes seem to deaden slightly as he looked back down at his friend at his feet. Neville gave the slightest nod, and Seamus swung again, this time much more forceful than the previous one.
Alecto didn't even inspect Neville's face this time before she said, "Again." Seamus swallowed, and once again, Neville nodded, blood dripping from his lip.
With each hit, Alecto would instruct him to do it again, and each time, Seamus would hit him again. Thankfully, after only having to witness a few more, the scene shifted again. Hermione felt the same regret she'd felt a hundred times over. Her life hadn't been easy during that year. They were hungry, they were cold, they were terrified. She'd gone through her own fair share of torture and she had the scars to prove it, but thinking about her friends, trapped at Hogwarts, waking every morning knowing the awful day that awaited them, she couldn't help but feel that they'd gotten a much worse deal than she, Harry, and Ron.
When the room materialized around her, Hermione found herself in the Gryffindor common room surrounded by students, at least a dozen of which were covered in wounds in various states of healing. Neville's face was covered in bruises, and Hermione wasn't sure if they were from the last memory or from some other incident. Seamus himself looked just as beaten; he was sweating bullets and breathing heavily as Ginny took his arm in her hands. She was attempting to lift it, but every time she raised it little more than an inch, Seamus would start screaming at her. The noise was deafening throughout the room, but it wasn't just his voice. Most of the other students were yelling at one another as well, everyone trying to be heard over the raucous sounds of whatever argument they were having.
Finally, Ginny held her wand to her throat and her voice boomed across the room, turning every eye to face her. "Shut up! I'm trying to fix a broken arm over here, and I can't even hear him two inches from my face. If you can't keep it down, then leave. Go to your own common rooms!"
"We can't!" Michael Corner yelled, stepping through the crowd. His nose was clearly broken, and he was holding an ice pack to his lip as he spoke. "I'm sure they're just waiting to catch one of us out of bed. You think they'll stop at a broken arm next time, 'Gin?"
Ginny's face softened slightly, and she returned to Seamus' arm. Everyone began talking again, but the unruly noise had dwindled to a low hum at least.
"What are we going to do?" Padma asked over the noise. She'd spoken across the room, but it was obvious that the question was directed at Ginny, who said nothing. She simply clenched her jaw and muttered a spell under her breath, causing Seamus to flinch suddenly and let out a stream of expletives. "We can't keep on like this, Ginny. They're going to-"
"We have to, okay?" Ginny yelled. She was red in the face, and she was looking around at all the others in the room, not focusing on one person in particular, before continuing in a much quieter tone. "We have to. We're going to keep going, just like we have been, because we have no other choice. Harry and –"
"It's Harry's fault we're in this mess!" Michael said, standing up to his full height and staring Ginny down. The look on his face said he was aware that he was in dangerous territory and that most of the others wouldn't agree with him, but he continued, nonetheless. "We've been trying to maintain the DA and fight them at every turn, and he's been out there, what? Playing games?"
"You don't know what you're talking about, mate," Seamus said, wincing and rolling his shoulder a few times.
"Seamus, you should know better than anyone. When they escaped from the Ministry what happened? What did the Carrows do to you?"
Seamus didn't answer, but the glare on his face could've frozen water.
"You were in the hospital wing for a week, mate. A week!" Michael's words felt like a punch to the gut. It was common knowledge that life at Hogwarts had been hell for those left behind, but she'd never considered the possibility that they'd been punished for anything that she, Harry, and Ron did as well.
"And for what?" he continued. "We don't even know what Harry was doing there! And he sure doesn't care about us at all. Leaving us here to rot, being punished for whatever the hell it is they're out there doing. Just running seems to me. And it's just gotten worse. Now, when they beat the hell out of us, we can't even go to Madam Pomfrey. We're stuck in here trying to heal one another with books and spells we've never used before," he motioned toward Ginny who was now waving her wand over Lavender's split lip.
"It's like they waited until we got back here to punish us for whatever the hell they did over Christmas. Whatever it was, I hope it was worth it. Look around," he said, motioning toward everyone who was currently nursing some wound or another, each of them looking worse for wear, some only with disheveled hair and clothes, and others, like Michael and Seamus, sporting black eyes or covered in blood. "And we don't even know what happened to Luna. Nobody's heard from her since they took her from the station weeks ago."
"What do you suppose we do, then?" Seamus said, his face turning red as he crossed the room to stare Michael down. "Give up? Line up to take the Mark?"
"Stop fighting them! At least act like we're –"
Seamus interrupted, "And start cursing one another? Crucio the First Years along with the Slytherins?"
"It's better than beating them to a pulp with our own bloody hands," Michael said, not backing down from Seamus' glare, offering him one just as fierce in return.
"This isn't getting us anywhere." Neville stepped in between them both, pushing them an arm's length away from one another. "We can't start fighting amongst ourselves. We have to stand up to them. It gives us hope. It -"
"There is no more hope, Neville. We have to get out of here. Or the next big stunt from The Chosen One," Michael said, enunciating Harry's moniker sarcastically, "might just kill us."
The scene shifted again, and Hermione was thankful for it. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. It was no wonder at all that Seamus blamed her for all the hell they endured at Hogwarts. It surely seemed like they'd been abandoned while being tortured for crimes they didn't commit. She felt sick, thinking about all the time they spent not knowing what they were doing, simply wandering from place to place hoping to stumble upon some clue or some answer, when all the while their friends were being beaten bloody anytime she, Harry, or Ron were spotted somewhere and managed to escape.
The next memory didn't help relieve the ache in Hermione's chest at all; if anything, it just made it worse. Hermione was in the middle of the Potions classroom. Cauldrons bubbled around them, and light steam obscured their vision momentarily before it cleared enough to make out the people who were really present in Seamus' memory. Crabbe and Goyle sat across from one another, a bottle of Ogden's Finest on the table between them. However, it was the two bodies on the floor that drew Hermione's attention first, and Hermione had to stifle a gasp.
Seamus and Anthony Goldstein were on their knees on the floor beside one another, their hands magically bound behind their backs. Anthony looked barely conscious; his blonde hair was slick on one side, stuck to his face with sweat and something thick and brown. Seamus was alternating between furious glares toward the two in front of him and worried glances toward Anthony. Every time his eyes would flutter closed and he'd begin to slump forward, Seamus would bump him with his shoulder, causing Anthony's eyes to open, though they didn't seem to focus on any one spot.
At some point while she'd been staring at the boys on the floor, the two sitting at the table had opened the bottle and begun drinking, each of them taking large pulls from a conjured glass in front of them. The door opened with a groan and in stepped Draco and Pansy Parkinson, hand-in-hand, and Hermione felt a stab in her gut, something akin to repulsion or jealousy, she wasn't entirely sure which. She wanted to look at the real Draco now, somewhere behind her, but she was afraid that her face would betray her. Besides, this wasn't about Draco.
Draco and Pansy hadn't noticed the two boys on the floor yet, but as they stepped closer, Hermione watched as Memory Draco furrowed his brow and glanced toward Pansy, whose face had gone white as a sheet. Hermione had never seen Pansy look anything but flawlessly put together; even when she'd been insulting Hermione, she always seemed to have control of her features, but in this memory, Pansy was blinking down at Seamus and Anthony, and for a split second there was something there Hermione never thought she'd see… pity. But with a flash, the emotion was gone, replaced with Pansy's normal fixed glare as she arched her brow at Goyle.
"Really? You don't get enough of this during class?" Pansy asked, her words dripping with condescension.
"Oh, I forgot… this offends your delicate sensibilities, doesn't it, Pans?" Crabbe replied, drawing a laugh from Goyle before Draco cut in.
"You can't even spell 'sensibilities,' mate." Goyle laughed even harder, and Crabbe shot him a look. "We just aren't interested in whatever four-way you have going on here," Draco said, still standing a distance from the table. His hand in Pansy's seemed to be gripping her tightly, and Hermione wasn't sure if that was for his benefit or Pansy's. "You better get them back to their dorms, or Snape'll have your heads. You know he doesn't approve of this sort of-"
The door banged open and Amycus Carrow stepped in, pulling in Leanne Cassowary by her hair. He laughed as he let go of her hair and shoved her down onto the ground with an oof beside Anthony. "Oh, you don't have to worry about Snape. He's out of the castle tonight," he said, as he spun a chair around and sat down. He conjured his own glass and poured himself a drink. After finishing it, he slammed his glass down onto the table and turned to look at Draco who was still standing beside the table like he really wasn't sure what he was going to do yet. He'd taken a step closer, leaving Pansy behind now, but her hand was still wrapped tightly around his. Draco was looking back and forth between all of them, but the anger on his face was becoming more evident.
Just like in the previous memory, Hermione could see that this version of Draco was trying desperately to not curse everyone in the room. His glances between the three at the table were heated, and slowly he reached into his pocket. Every eye seemed to follow his movements, those watching the memory and those within it, and suddenly the door kicked open with a bang again, causing everyone to jump. Alecto sauntered in, pulling an unconscious Fay Dunbar behind her.
"Have we missed the party?" Alecto asked, as she dropped Fay onto the floor, her head falling into Leanne's lap. Leanne hesitantly reached her hand forward and shook Fay. When she didn't awaken, Leanne looked toward Seamus, her face stricken.
"No, we're just now getting started. But," Amycus said, turning back toward Draco and Pansy, "These two don't seem to approve of our little game. I wonder what the Dark Lord would think of that, sis."
Hermione looked back at Memory Draco, who seemed now to realize that they were outnumbered. Before he could say anything, Pansy stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his waist. She put her hand into his pocket, along with his, and pouted her lips seductively. "We were just looking for somewhere a little less… occupied." She winked at Crabbe when he laughed throatily, taking another drink, and pulled Draco's hand in the direction of the door.
For a split second, Draco stood there staring across the table at Amycus, who was still giving him the same haughty smirk.
"Come on, love," Pansy said, giving Draco's hand another tug, and he finally gave in, turning away from whatever 'game' was about to take place and leaving the room following Pansy.
Amycus turned around with a chuckle, shaking his head, and looked down at the four students in front of him. Seamus was still staring up at his captors, eyes full of malice, and Anthony had passed out at some point since Hermione had turned to watch the scene develop between Amycus and Draco. Leanne was crying silent tears, her hands shaking slightly as she continued to shake Fay.
"She's not dead, idiot girl," Alecto said, as she flicked her wand toward Fay. "Rennervate." All at once Fay gasped and sat up with a jolt, her eyes wide as she took in what was going on around her, and Crabbe did the same with Anthony. His eyes popped open, but they were still rolling around the room.
"Okay, rules are the same as last time," Amycus said, looking around at the others. "No killing curses, no scars. Otherwise anything goes. Yours drops first, you win, and everyone else drinks. No cheating this time." He pointed toward his sister, who only shrugged, a smirk playing across her face.
They all stood, flicking their wands to whichever victim they'd brought along to play with, and suddenly, all those on the floor were standing, having been lifted onto their feet and pushed against the wall.
"3 – 2 – 1 – Go!" Amycus shouted and spells shot out, each hitting a different person. Hermione hadn't heard what each spell was, as they'd all been yelling at once, and the room was replaced with the sounds of screams. Seamus and Anthony seemed to still be under whatever spell had kept them silent before, both they were clearly in as much pain as Fay and Leanne. Fay was screaming a high-pitched scream, her hands over her ears and her eyes clamped shut, and Leanne could barely be heard at all as she gurgled and clutched at her throat. Hermione closed her own eyes, unable to watch anymore. And then, it was over. The screaming stopped, replaced by Crabbe's laughing and the other's disappointed voices.
Hermione opened her eyes and found Anthony crumpled on the floor, breathing heavily and his limbs shaking violently. Seamus sat down, attempting to lift Anthony off the floor, but he was immediately thrown backward, his back sticking to the wall. Goyle, Amycus, and Alecto all drank and slapped a few galleons down on the table in front of Crabbe who greedily shoved them into his pocket.
They all took a few more drinks, Crabbe laughing and the others grumbling. Hermione was appalled. They were torturing human beings for fun… as a game. She thought she might be sick, and she walked out of the group, stepping to the side slightly and covering her mouth with her hand. She was shaking, both in anger and in disgust, and she remembered a conversation with the few remaining Order members after the final battle, where they all discussed whether the death penalty should be an option for the Death Eaters who had been captured. Hermione had, of course, been staunchly against the idea… but now, watching these two laugh as they tortured students, she not only wished the death penalty had been used, but she thought she could be the one to carry it out and still sleep through the night afterward.
…as long as Draco was beside me, anyway. She turned, hoping to find him near her, but he was turned away, much like he'd been in every other memory that featured him. She couldn't begin to imagine how he must feel, this constant reminder of a life that he hated. "Any time I forget, there's always someone standing ready to remind me." She started toward him but was pulled away as screams sounded again from those inside Seamus' memory. She turned quickly, to find the screams not in pain but in horror.
Leanne and Fay were backing away, each screaming and scooting on their bottoms across the cold stone floor, trying to get away from whatever curse Crabbe had cast on Anthony. Seamus was kneeling beside him, trying to staunch the flow of blood from his neck, but he couldn't keep his hands on the wound, as Anthony convulsed on the ground in front of him, throwing a spray of blood across Seamus' face. Seamus still couldn't speak, but he kept looking up at the four Death Eaters in front of him, his eyes pleading and his mouth moving despite the spell that kept any sound from coming out.
They did nothing. The bottle was mostly empty at this point, so maybe the alcohol had something to do with their inaction, but they just sat there, staring down at their victims as Anthony's blood poured out of him. Crabbe looked shocked, like he didn't even know what spell he'd cast, and Goyle looked like he might be sick. Amycus stood up and began shouting as well, his words unheard over the sound of the girls' shrieks as he slapped Crabbe in the back of the head. Throughout it all, Alecto sat stone still, her mouth slightly open and eyes almost sparkling as she took it all in.
Finally, after what felt like eternity, the screams abated along with Anthony's blood, leaving Seamus sitting on the floor beside his friend, his face and upper body painted red. He said nothing, and his eyes looked just as dead as Anthony's as he stared at the wall across from him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? I said no –"
"I didn't mean to! I didn't know what that spell did. I just found –"
"We've got to get rid of –"
"This is all your fault –"
Amycus and Alecto were standing now, both arguing with the two younger Slytherins. They were all blaming one another, screaming until they were red in the face, but none seemed to be bothered that they'd just killed someone. Instead, they were all shouting about what was going to happen to them when word got out.
All at once, a loud bang erupted in the room and every head turned to the door where Snape stood, his dark eyes wide in alarm for a split second as they fell on Anthony's body and the other students. But the alarm lasted only a split second before Snape's eyes grew cold. His head turned ominously toward Amycus and Alecto. Hermione had seen Snape angry often as a student, most of that directed toward Harry. She'd seen him sarcastic and patronizing, most of that directed at her. But she'd never seen this look of utter malice and hatred.
"Mr. Crabbe, Mr. Goyle, leave." His voice was smooth as marble but laced with an undercurrent of hostility that only Snape could muster. Both boys ran out of the room, looks of terror on their face that would have been almost comical given their sheer size had it not been for the fact that they'd just murdered someone. Snape walked toward Amycus and Alecto, and the scene dissolved again.
Hermione felt numb. After what she'd just seen, she thought she should be crying, or shaking, or broken somehow, but she felt nothing. She supposed that said something about her mental state, but she didn't have time to process it before another scene materialized in front of her.
In this one Hermione saw herself with Ron and Harry as they were surrounded by Dumbledore's Army and all the other students who had been hiding out in the Room of Requirement before the battle of Hogwarts. They all looked ragged, herself included. She, Harry, and Ron had just finished breaking into Gringotts and had ridden a dragon to escape, so her clothes were scorched and dirty, and her hair was in tangles. But as bad as she, Harry, and Ron looked, the students standing in front of them looked substantially worse.
She'd forgotten just how awful they'd all appeared when she stepped through that portrait hole. Seamus' face was so bruised and swollen that he was almost unrecognizable. Neville was wearing an eye patch and walked with a limp. Terry Boot was in a sling, and crusted blood covered a large bandage on the left side of his face. She took a step closer to the scene, trying to understand what it was Seamus wanted them to see in this scene when she heard Harry speaking.
"Well there's something we need to do, and then we'll get out of here," he said, his eyes shifty across the faces in front of him. Of course, Hermione remembered why he'd appeared so flustered in this scene, but none of the others knew that Harry had been struggling to remain standing due to the blazing hot pain in his forehead as Voldemort traveled to Hogwarts in a blind rage.
"What do you mean 'get out of here?'" Seamus asked incredulously, his words coming out slowly as if he thought he'd misheard what Harry said.
"We didn't come here to fight. There's something we have to find, and then –"
"You're just going to leave us in this mess?" Michael Corner said from Seamus' left. "I told you," he said, turning toward Seamus and speaking so only he could hear. Harry was still talking, but Michael continued whispering to Seamus. "He has no bloody idea what he's doing."
Seamus appeared to be on the fence. He was looking at Harry, his expression unreadable, but he kept casting glances toward Michael as if he wasn't sure what to believe.
Finally, Neville spoke up, "Well, tell us what it is, and we can help."
"Yeah," Seamus said, "We've been here fighting while you lot have been on the run!"
"It hasn't exactly been a walk in the park," Ron said, bristling slightly at Seamus' accusing tone.
"Nobody is saying that," Neville placated. "Just let us help, Harry. You don't have to do everything alone."
Harry seemed to deliberate, and he looked between the Memory Hermione and Ron. "Yeah, okay," Harry said slowly, still seemingly unsure that this was the right move. "There's something here we need to find. Something hidden here in the castle. It may help us defeat You-Know-Who."
"Great. What is it?" Neville asked, his voice becoming hopeful yet again.
"We don't know." There was silence following Harry's words… except for mutterings from the crowd that had gone unnoticed by her at the time when the memory was made. She remembered them all looking up at Harry, blinking as if they didn't quite understand what he was saying, but she hadn't heard any sounds.
Here, however, down in the crowd beside Seamus, she could hear the whispers.
"What?"
"What did he say?"
"He doesn't know?"
"What the hell?"
She was sure it had been the heat of the moment and the nerves and anxiety of what they were trying to do, but she couldn't believe she hadn't heard it then.
Neville broke through the whispers. "Okay, where is it?"
"We don't know that either," Harry said quickly, his face turning red beneath the glares of those in front of him, those who thought he was coming to save them.
"Are you kidding me?" The whispers continued around her.
"I told you," Michael was saying, more to himself than anyone else.
"Why are they even here?" Zacharias Smith said from just behind her.
Hermione felt a knot rising in her chest. This was why Seamus had been so angry. She could see now, being on this end looking up at herself, Ron, and Harry, just how idiotic they looked. They'd come in, hoping to find a horcrux, unaware of what everyone expected of them. That was the reality of the situation. But, to those they'd left behind, it looked more like they hadn't a fucking clue what they were doing and worse, were oblivious to what everyone else had been through." She could see why they were angry. They'd been abandoned, left behind to deal with the fallout, and throughout it all, they'd remained hopeful, dedicated, looking forward to the day that Harry Potter would come riding in like a white knight to rid the world of darkness. And yet, they'd appeared in the wake of the chaos their friends had been suffering, dumbfounded and already planning to leave them all behind again.
"I realize that isn't much to go on," Harry said, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking terribly uncomfortable with the way everyone was staring at him.
"That's nothing to go on," Seamus said, his words coming out quickly and suspiciously.
"I think it'll have something to do with Ravenclaw. Small…" Harry's words faded out as the scene faded to black, and Hermione and the others were sucked from the memory and back beneath the bright lights of the Group Therapy room.
Hermione felt like she was in shock as she returned to her seat. She took a deep breath, feeling it rattle and shake in her chest as she inhaled and blew it out through her mouth like Alys had taught her. She felt an inexplicable calm overtake her, and she knew Alys must've cast the same calming charm around the room as she typically did after they'd viewed someone's memories. She took another breath, feeling it flow much easier than the last, and she opened her eyes.
"Seamus," Walt said. "Thank you for showing us your memories, for trusting us enough to share them. Would you tell us why you selected those in particular?"
Seamus took a deep breath and wrung his hands in his lap. "Umm… yeah, okay."
A scratch across the floor brought all their attention toward Parvati as she scooted her chair closer to his. "Sorry… sorry," she said, as she took her seat behind him and took his hand in hers.
He gave her a soft smile and continued. "So, the first one with Carrow, I chose that one because it was the first day. I honestly had no idea what they were really capable of. I knew Cedric was killed by Voldemort. I knew he tried to kill Harry. I knew Snape killed Dumbledore, but even knowing all that, it never actually sunk in that it was a war, that these were horrible people. I guess I was a little naive in that. But that was just the first of many."
He paused to get a drink from the water bottle beside his chair and licked his lips. "The second one, in the Great Hall, that was the first time I had to hurt someone else, but it certainly wasn't the last. After that, I picked my battles more. I still fought as much as I could, and I never Crucio'd a First Year, but they always found a way to get us to hurt one another. I guess they thought it would weaken us somehow, and I suppose it did really, as you saw in the next one, the one in the common room. That one wasn't long before we began hiding out in the Room of Requirement. "
"Also, I chose that one because that's where the anger toward you started," he said, looking up at Hermione. She expected it to still be there, the anger etched across his face as it had been for their first few weeks here, but it wasn't. He was looking at her, his eyes casting down at the floor occasionally in shame. "Every time you lot were sighted, we were punished for it. But I didn't show you that because I wanted you to feel guilty," he added quickly, likely noting the look on Hermione's face. "I showed you so you could understand why. It wasn't your fault, Hermione."
The room was silent for a moment before Walt said, "Tell us about the next one, Seamus."
Seamus swallowed thickly, the sound heard through the silence of the room. "That was the first time I saw someone die. I…" he drew a shaky breath. "I couldn't help him. They'd taken my wand and my voice, and there was nothing I could do but sit there and watch him bleed out."
When he paused again, Walt said, "Seamus, that wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could do."
Hermione expected him to lash out, like he had so many times before, but he only sighed. "I know. I know that. Doesn't make me feel a whole helluva lot better though."
"The last one, in the Room of Requirement, that was just before the battle started. We'd been waiting for that moment, and to be honest, I'd already sort of given up hope, even if I never admitted that to anyone but myself. We fought them with everything we had, but I didn't think we had much more to give. And then you showed up," he said, looking up to meet Hermione's gaze again, "and we thought you lot had come back to finish it, to help us. We'd all been hoping that you were out there saving the world. And then you didn't know a bloody thing." He laughed then, not the same dry, humorless one from before, but a real one. "You didn't have a bloody clue what you were doing, and we were all so angry. I really only showed you that one so you could see from my perspective how it looked as Harry barreled in, ready to turn around and leave us behind again without any idea what we'd been through."
Hermione started to say something. She honestly wasn't sure if she wanted to apologize or defend Harry, defend herself even, but before she could speak, Seamus raised his hand. "I don't expect you to apologize, Hermione, and you don't need to. I'm not mad at you, any of you, anymore. We all went through hell that year. My hell was just a different one than yours." He shrugged, concluding his address toward her.
"And, umm… I also wanted to say that I don't think it's all so cut and dried, anymore," he said, scuffing his trainer across the floor nervously. "I didn't know that about Stan Shunpike or Tracy Davis or anybody else who may have been forced to be on that bridge." He looked up, meeting Draco's eyes. Hermione remembered their conversation weeks ago, when Draco had told Seamus about Stan and Tracy, trying to make the point that not every person fighting alongside Voldemort had been there out of their own free will.
"I don't regret it. If I hadn't blown it up, it could've been much worse. They would've all gotten into the school, and maybe it would've been Neville or Luna or anybody else or dozens of people even. I don't regret it, but I can see now that it wasn't all black and white."