"Draco, you have fifteen minutes left before we need to get to our gate. Please pick out your books so we can leave."

Draco was in a Muggle bookstore for the first time in his life, staring at their selection of paperback novels. Granger had suggested he start with Muggle fiction, rather than biographies. Draco was trying to decide between a book by Michael Crichton and a different one by Clive Cussler. Unable to resolve his indecision, he decided to purchase both. "I don't understand how I'm the only one making purchases here in a bloody bookshop, Granger. Or why you are so impatient to leave this one, for that matter. I swear, if I didn't know how important this trip was to you, I'd think I was with someone who was merely polyjuiced to look like you."

Hermione shrugged. "I don't always love the selection in the airport bookstores. I packed my own, so I could be assured they would meet my standards." She patted her carry-on bag which was stuffed until it was nearly bursting at the seams. Draco had found it surprisingly heavy when he had passed it to her as they got out of their cab earlier that morning. He had nearly staggered after picking it up, caught off guard by it's unexpected weight. Granger was, of course, managing it without complaint.

"Of course. I should have expected nothing less." He pointed towards the wall of glossy periodicals. "I cannot get over how many magazines Muggles have!"

"Don't say Muggle. Or reference polyjuice, obviously."

"Right. Thank you."

They had met very early that morning at Granger's flat in Muggle London, where she had arranged for them to be picked up by a taxi and taken to the airport. Draco had never even been to an airport before, let alone on a aeroplane. He'd also never been around this many Muggles before. In fact, Draco had rarely been around this many people all in one place before. The large building was positively teeming with bodies, walking to and fro to mysterious counters and a myriad of little shops.

Everything was just so busy.

Feeling uncomfortable with his surroundings, Draco was unexpectedly grateful that Granger was with him to guide him through the process. None of this was strange or unfamiliar to her. Hermione was navigating through all of these obstacles with a practiced ease. When he initially extended the offer for her to come with him, it was the most altruistic and selfless Draco had ever felt. He didn't realize until they started planning the trip that Granger was actually a huge asset in helping him navigate the arduous task of traveling to Australia using only Muggle methods. The clever witch had helped him sort out a passport — one that matched his mother's alias — and made all of the arrangements for their flights. And she was metaphorically holding his hand as he made his way through the airport. Honestly, he was really happy she was with him, which was a nice change from the previous couple weeks in their office.

Draco was really glad she was talking to him again.

Granger, on the other hand, was a nervous fucking wreck. At least she was when they had first arrived at the airport. Granger was far more emotionally invested in this trip than Draco and as they were getting closer to seeing Wendell Wilkins — formerly known as Richard Granger — again for the first time, she was getting more and more snappish. On several occasions that morning, he had caught her sort of standing off to the side taking deep breaths, clearly attempting to gain mastery over her nerves. Draco had no idea how to help her, so when they got to the executive lounge and it had an open bar, he just fixed her a drink.

Unhealthy coping mechanisms were sometimes better than no coping mechanisms, right?

So Granger had a few drinks, telling him she'd have plenty of time to sober up on the plane as she had no intention of meeting her father and his mother being even slightly intoxicated. She became slightly more relaxed as they left the lounge and had even accepted his hand when they walked through the airport afterwards. He told her it was so they could practice looking like a couple, as that was their cover story for the next several weeks with Wendell. But really, he was worried he was going to lose her in this crowd. And he didn't hate holding her hand.

It was acceptable. In the circumstances.

Draco was surprised to find his own anxiety spike as they got on the plane and found their seats. The inside of the plane felt very confining and he did not care for it. Their tickets had them seated towards the front of the plane, in seats that looked fairly large and comfortable. Especially once he caught a glimpse behind the curtain and saw how small the seats behind them were in comparison. Those seats looked awful.

"Granger, what's the deal with the seats in the back? They are so small."

"Oh, this is business class and that is coach. Our seats are much more expensive, but you won't be squished the whole time - and the food and service is better here. I thought you'd have a hard enough time with the flying aspect. And I didn't want to deal with you for twenty hours if we were stuck in coach."

"How much more expensive?"

"Nothing you will notice," she said dismissively, as took some books out of her bag before putting it in the overhead compartment.

Fair enough.

Take off was bloody terrifying. He gripped the armrest of his seat so hard that his knuckles were white. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing. So he was startled when he felt Granger's hand on his forearm.

"It's fine Malfoy," she said in a calm and soothing voice. "These are all perfectly normal noises and sensations for a plane taking off. Please try to relax."

"Easy for you to say! You've flown before!"

"So have you."

"Not on a plane!"

"Yeah well, I don't like brooms. Or much of anything else I've been forced to fly on. You'll live."

He turned and looked out the window. Hermione had offered him the window seat, since it was his first time. He looked behind him and saw the lights on the wing of the plane and heard the noise from the — what had she called it? — engine. Draco shut the blind. Taking the window seat had been a mistake.

"Granger —"

"Hermione."

He paused. "What?"

"You cannot pretend to be my boyfriend and exclusively call me by my last name. Every so often will be fine, but you need to sprinkle in the occasional 'Hermione' for good measure, Draco."

Oh. He hadn't thought of that. She was right, of course.

"In that case, Hermione, if you feel the need to call me by my last name, remember it's 'Mallory'."

"I know. I'm the one that got you your passport and figured out the tickets."

Right. Following her example, he took out his new book and tried to read it. They had a long flight ahead of them. Draco had no idea that Muggles had to be so bloody patientto travel anywhere. It was all so tedious.

Hours later, Draco learned that even in business class, the bathroom on the plane was still ridiculously tiny. He had stood in line for five minutes waiting for the restroom to be free. He passed the time by eavesdropping on the giggling couple behind him, who were apparently trying to join an exclusive organization known as the 'Mile High Club.' He'd have to remember to ask Granger about that one later. Once inside, he felt like he was a giant in the tiny compartment. He accidentally slammed his elbow into the wall while trying to figure out how to activate the sink and it stung. Draco sighed and dried off his hands, smiling at the man and woman who were still in line as he made his way back to his seat.

Once seated Draco decided to read his book again. He must have dozed off, because the next thing he knew he was jerked into abrupt consciousness by the plane rolling and shaking. He felt a spike of terror shoot through him and he instinctively grabbed for Hermione's hand.

"It's okay, Draco. It's just turbulence. It feels frightening, but it's normal. My father described it to me as flying through a rough patch of air. The plane is fine and you are fine." She spoke to him soothingly, before squeezing his hand in reassurance and returning her attention to her book.

"Thank you, Granger."

"Anytime fake-boyfriend-slash-somehow-real step-brother."

The woman in the seat across the aisle gasped and stared at Draco, a horrified expression on her face. He glared back at her until the unknown woman looked away, embarrassed. Nosy woman shouldn't have been eavesdropping on them anyway.

The plane landing was also terrifying, but not as bad as take off or the turbulence. Draco did not care for Muggle air travel one bit and he resolved to figure out a way that he could use a portkey for any future trips to Australia. He'd still have to fly back to England after this trip was over, but then his aeroplane flying days would be over. Being in a metal tube that high off the ground was absolute madness and he didn't understand why anyone subjected themselves to it.

He felt better the moment they stepped off of the plane. Granger explained they had to get out of the secured area to go pickup their bags, instead of having their bag brought to them. The whole thing was such a time-consuming hassle that he didn't know how the Muggles could bear it.

Hermione put her hand on his arm to get his attention. He turned to see her looking up at him with a nervous expression on her face. As his anxiety left him, hers was ramping back up. She was a bundle of nerves at the prospect of seeing her father again, especially under these pretences.

"Draco, I need you to listen to me. This might be my last time everseeing my dad. And I want him to like me. Which means that despite our — history— as far as Wendell is concerned, I am going to be a very loving and supportive girlfriend to you for the entirety of this trip. And I expect you to be a convincing boyfriend. So try not to die of shock when I am overtly affectionate or nice." Granger was biting her lip as she stared up at him. She was also unconsciously flexing and unflexing her fingers, her nervousness about seeing her father on full display. Draco had rarely seen her this out of sorts before.

Draco nodded in her direction and tried to appear supportive. It made sense. She couldn't come into his mother's home as his girlfriend and treat him poorly in front of Wendell. Obviously.

Then Hermione shifted her stance and narrowed her eyes. "And if you blow this for me, you should know that I will hex you into oblivion. Cross me and there won't be enough of you left for them to find."

Well, now Draco was annoyed. The stubborn witch didn't need to threatenhim. This had been his idea in the first place. He pulled the bag strap back up over his shoulder, glaring down at her in consternation. "Who's them?"

"Oh, anyone who's looking, really. I suppose it's irrelevant."

Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "You talk tough, Granger. But I think you're just that — all talk."

Hermione let out a harsh laugh. "At the end of our fourth year, I caught Rita Skeeter in her animagus form, trapped her in a jar with an unbreakable charm on it and held her prisoner for threeweeks until she agreed to do what I wanted."

Draco's mouth dropped open in shock. "What the fuck, Granger? Are you kidding me?"

"No, I'm not. I should be thanking you for that, actually. You talking to your hand the entirety of that year while you told her liesabout me and Harry was how I figured out that bloody beetle was Skeeter in the first place."

"I — I wasn't Skeeter's source!" He lied reflexively and then flinched. Before he could correct himself, Granger rounded on him.

"Oh? So you were really just talking to your hand? Well my apologies, Malfoy. I didn't realize that you were in an emotional relationship with your own hand. I unfairly assumed what you had was merely physical." She turned on her heel and started walking towards the arrivals lounge.

Draco stood flabbergasted for a minute before striding forward, his longer legs quickly catching up to her. "Did you just call me a wanker?"

"No," she said over her shoulder. "I merely heavily implied it. Wanker. Now I've called you a wanker. See? It's different."

Hermione was very tense as she moved with purpose through the crowd. Draco was not used to being around this many people at once and he was still deeply confused by Muggle airports. He was struggling to keep up with her. "You know, you shouldn't have told me that about Skeeter. Who just gives out blackmail material like that?"

"I negotiated a blanket amnesty for myself, Harry and Ron for anything and everything we had done to date when we got our Orders of Merlin after the war," she said matter-of-factly, still not looking at him as she scanned the crowd.

Oh. "That was very clever of you," he said, begrudgingly. Bloody witch wasbrilliant, there was no two ways about it.

"Not clever enough," she shrugged. "I was this close to trying to get a free pass on some future transgressions. It honestly seemed like they'd go for it — everyone was so overjoyed with us at the time. But I thought it would be too suspicious and I'd be better off hiding behind my reputation and hoping I don't get caught if I decide to break a few rules again in the future."

Well, now she was just trying to turn him on. Hearing something so Slytherincome out of Granger's mouth actually made his cock twitch — it was so unexpected. Draco got a sinking feeling in his stomach when he realized where his mind was going about the agitated brunette who was walking beside him, practically trembling with her own apprehension over the prospect of seeing her father again. He was about to pretend to be in love with Hermione for a few weeks. It was not a good time for him to realize that he found her a bit attractive.

Okay. Maybe more than a bit.

They made their way down the escalator and through the doors that lead to the area where arriving passengers were being greeted by their friends and family.

"There she is — Mother!" Draco raised his arm as he called out to Narcissa. Her eyes met his and she smiled, before taking note of who was standing next to him. She looked startled for a moment and then his mother broke into an even warmer smile.

"Draco, my darling! It's so good to see you! And Miss Granger! I didn't know you were coming! Welcome, my dear." She turned to her son with a bright smile.

Granger's father stood next to his wife with a warm smile of his own, offering his hand to Draco. "I'm Wendell Wilkins. I am so happy to meet you, Draco. Your mother has told me all about you and I'm delighted you could come all the way to Australia so we could meet."

While he very much doubted that his mother had told Wendell 'all about him', he smiled as he shook the older man's hand. "Lovely to meet you, sir. And this is my girlfriend, Hermione Granger. We just couldn't bear to be apart for two weeks. I hope it's okay that she is here as well."

His mother inclined her head graciously towards them both. "It's fine. It's a surprise, but a welcome one."

Hermione coughed.

"Wendell, perhaps you and Miss Granger could go get the bags sorted while I catch up with my son? It appears he has some exciting news for me as well."

Hermione nodded. "I'd be happy to. And please, call me Hermione. After all, we're practically family." Her smile was strained.

"Hermione? There's a name you don't hear often! From The Winter's Tale?" Wendell asked expectantly.

"Yes. I was named after a character from my father's favourite of Shakespeare's plays."

"Ah, a man of taste! It's my favourite as well."

Hermione's smile became more overtly pained. "How lovely. Shall we go get the bags and allow these two to catch up?"

Draco found himself squeezing Hermione's hand before she left with her father. His heart went out to her. She was hiding her distress well enough, but he knew she was struggling to keep it together. She flashed him a grateful smile, squeezed back and then left with the man who no longer knew that he was her father.

"Draco! Why didn't you tell me you were dating Miss Granger? I would have made different preparations for Christmas if I had known she was coming too." His mother's words were lightly chiding, but she wasn't upset. In fact, she was radiating a calm happiness that was unfamiliar to Draco. She also seemed genuinely thrilled at the idea of him dating Granger, which again was great now, but it might have been a nice attitude for him to have grown up with as well. Instead, Draco had been forced to refer to her as a 'mudblood' at the dinner table at his father's insistence as early as second year, when he had made the mistake of referring to her as 'Muggle-born' when discussing which classmates were getting the best marks in his year.

"Oh, I'm not dating her. She's here because you, Mother dear, married Granger's father."

Narcissa's face looked blank for a minute before her eyes went wide with shock, as her reaction transitioned into a barely visible panic. Which coming from his mother meant that she was close to having an actual meltdown at the news. She didn't question him though — they had been through too much to ever lie to one another, especially about something this huge.

"Did you know?" Draco asked quietly, seeking confirmation more so than actually asking the question. Her shocked reaction suggested this was all new information.

"No! Oh, Draco, how did this even happen? He doesn't know anything about — I mean, he believes he is Wendell Wilkins! And he didn't recognize her at all! What — how?"

Draco quickly explained what Hermione had done to protect her parents from the Dark Lord's forces. His mother looked positively ill, as she put her hand over her mouth in horror.

"Oh, she must hate me! The poor girl." Narcissa's eyes filled with tears and she blinked rapidly to keep them from falling.

"Hermione's not particularly fond of either of us, unfortunately. Look, she was devastated to find out her parents divorced, never mind that I was invited to spend Christmas with herdad. The least I could do was give her a chance to spend time with him. She's spent the last six years without either of her parents and it didn't feel right leaving her alone in London while I came and played Muggle with you both in Australia. I trust this won't be a problem for you?"

"No, of course not. We'll make it work. Darling girl — she is far braver than I ever realized and I already held her in high esteem." Narcissa gave her son a rueful smile. "I feel like I could have been given some advance warning about this, Draco."

"Yeah. I thought the same thing," he responded with a raised eyebrow.

His mother shot him a disapproving glare before the two 'Mallorys' started to walk in the same direction that the two Grangers had set off in. "She's a lovely witch, Draco. Are you sure there's nothing there?"

Draco snorted. "She's my colleague at the Ministry, mother — nothing more."

"Uh huh." Narcissa said, shocking him with her informality. Seeing Narcissa Black live as a Muggle was going to be a trip in and of itself, he could already tell.

xXx

After they collected their luggage, Wendell drove them back to the house he shared with Narcissa. He chatted the whole way, pointing out landmarks and telling anecdotes about their life in Australia. Narcissa smiled at him fondly. Even with her son in the car, she only had eyes for her new husband. She was so clearly in love with Wendell that Draco was taken aback by it. He had never seen his mother so soft. Or with so much of her feelings displayed on her face for anyone to see. He had to keep reminding himself that the person in the front seat of the car was his mother, because there was a lightness to her that was so different from the reserved woman who had raised him, that she seemed like another person entirely.

After they arrived, Wendell and Draco carried their luggage into the house. Wendell offered to get them a light dinner. "I know the flight is an ordeal on it's own and you've got the time change as well. So I understand that you'll probably want to turn in for the night soon," he said cheerfully as he put food down in front of Draco and Hermione.

"Bon appetit!" he said cheerfully.

Hermione looked down at her soup and sandwich and froze.

Wendell noticed her hesitation. "I didn't think to ask. Hermione, is this not to your tastes?"

Hermione swallowed and then said thickly, "No. Um, not at all Wendell. Grilled cheese and tomato soup is actually my favourite. I, ah, I'm just really tired."

"Of course you are, my dear," said Narcissa, sympathy for the younger witch plain in her manner. "Why don't you eat up and then go get some rest. I'm sure you will feel better in the morning."

"Thank you, Narcissa. I think I will."

Hermione was quiet as she ate. The meal prepared by Wendell was simple but excellent. Draco could see why Hermione preferred it. Wendell was still making small talk with Draco and he asked about their flight.

"Oh, it was great Wendell. We got to go into a pretty nice lounge beforehand, our seats were fairly comfortable all things considered and we joined the Mile High Club —" Draco was caught off guard by a choking sound coming from beside him and he quickly turned to find Hermione looking very red as she frantically shook her head.

"No! No, we didn't." She turned to her father. "Apologies, Wendell, Narcissa. Draco is joking. We of course didn't join the Mile High club." She turned to Draco and hissed in a low voice. "Draco, do shut up."

"But we did." He turned in his seat so he was facing toward Hermione, as he leaned forward and said in a lower voice. "It's an exclusive club."

"Oh dear lord." Hermione looked up at the ceiling, a pained expression on her face, before turning to a very amused Wendell and a confused Narcissa. "Again, I must apologize. I think he is just misinformed about what that means. Draco, darling— " underneath the table, Hermione put her foot on top of his and started pressing down hard as she looked him in the eyes with a dangerous expression on her face. " — You know we just sat in our seats on the plane, watching movies or reading books, unless we were asleep. Alsoin our seats."

"If that's what you say dear," said Narcissa airily, with a wave of her hand. Wendell snickered and offered to show them the guest room. Singular. Hermione and Draco looked at each other.

"I'm happy to sleep in a different room, Mr. and Mrs. Wilkins. I would hate for you to be made uncomfortable in your own home."

"Please Hermione, it's Wendell and Narcissa. And we're not uncomfortable in the slightest. " Narcissa nodded along with her husband, before casting a shrewd glance in Draco's direction. "Besides, we only have the one guest room. When we bought the house, we converted two of the four bedrooms — one into a library and the other into a painting studio for Narcissa."

"You're painting now, Mother?" That was another surprise for Draco. Narcissa had never expressed any interest in painting in the past, at least not in Draco's hearing. Her interest had been her gardens, at least when she lived at Malfoy Manor. Well, that and Draco.

"Yes, dear. I've been spending quite a lot of time experimenting with paints."

"She painted everything in this room. Your mother is the most talented woman I've ever met." Narcissa blushed next to her husband, as he gestured to the artwork on the walls. Wendell smiled at her fondly, taking her hand and kissing it. Draco looked around the room. The paintings were interesting. All abstract art with a mix of lines and splotches. It was certainly nothing like they had in the Manor. But it very much suited this house.

Wendell showed them the guest room. As soon he left, Hermione shut the door, whipped out her wand and silenced the room. Then she punched Draco in the shoulder as hard as she could.

"Ow! Granger! What that fuck?" He'd thought the evening had gone pretty well, all things considered.

"The Mile High Club is a euphemism for when people have sex in the aeroplane bathroom. You just told ourparents that you shagged me on the plane ride over, you absolute git!"

Draco flushed red. "What? Granger, I didn't know! I just overheard Muggles talking about it on the plane." How on earth - or he supposed, in the sky - did people manage to have sex in those miniscule compartments? He only just managed to escape without serious injury and all he was trying to do was wash his hands.

"Why say anything about it at all? You just told my dad that you shaggedme on the way here!"

"I just wanted to sound like a Muggle!"

"Then describe the actual trip, Draco. We travelled like Muggles the entire way. We went through security, you bought terrible paperback novels, we ate bad food and we stood in line a lot. At no point did you need to embellish, full stop. That was unnecessary!"

"I —" he sighed. "I'm sorry, Granger."

"Whatever. Please exercise more discretion in the future — if you don't really understand what something is, maybe check with me before bringing it up in front of Wendell. I'm just too exhausted for this right now."

They both looked at the single bed in the room. At least it was a queen size. That was big enough to share. At least as far as Draco was concerned.

"We can share Granger," Draco said, trying to keep his tone casual after the Mile High Club debacle.

"No."

"We're both reasonable adults."

"That's only half true. It's not appropriate. Also, we are technically step-siblings and I'm the oldest. Allow me to introduce you to some more Muggle traditions."

She picked up one of the two pillows, as well as the bedspread and shoved them at him. "Little brothers get the floor." She left for the bathroom, grabbing her carry-on as she left. Draco sighed and started folding the bedspread to make a more comfortable spot on the bloody floor.

If he'd just kept his suspicions to himself, he'd been in that bed and she'd be back in London none the wiser. Bloody witch was lucky he felt sympathy for her circumstances. Plus, he did just tell her father that they had sex on the plane ride over. Maybe he should just let her have this one.

xXx

They had only been asleep for a couple of hours when Draco was woken up by the sounds of Hermione Granger in distress. It took him a moment to realize that he wasn't just re-living one of his old nightmares, but that he was in fact hearing the real-life Granger whimper in the same room, as she thrashed in her sleep — uttering a choked "No!"

Draco rose from the floor and slowly crept over to her. He sat on the bed and began shaking her shoulder. "Granger? Granger. You are alright," he whispered in a soothing tone.

Hermione's eyes opened and she looked at him with confusion. "Malfoy?" She looked around the dark room, dazed. "Where am I?"

"Um, you are in Australia. Officially we're visiting my mum."

Hermione rubs her eyes and sighed. "Right, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I haven't had nightmares in a while and I wasn't expecting that I would. It must be from the stress of traveling."

Right. Travelling. Nothing else stressful going on here that might be contributing to it, he thought before wisely concluding to keep it to himself. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not really. After the war, I had nightmares for a really long time — if I slept at all. A recurring one for me was a scenario where I had to fight really hard to see my parents and when I finally found them, they didn't know me. Somethingmust have brought it back up." In the faint light from the moon outside the window, she gave him a tired half-smile.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Oh who knows!" She rubbed her forehead, clearly still flustered by her dream. "You know what, I'll take the floor. It seems wrong to be taking the bed and then not actually sleeping in it. No need for both of us to be miserable."

"I'm not making you get on the floor, Granger." She was just crying out in anguish and fear only moments earlier. He hadn't intended to kick out of the bed at all, but he especially wouldn't now.

"Yeah, but I'm not sleeping anyway. And there's only one bed."

"For the love of Merlin, Granger, we can just share it. I will stay on my own side."

She paused for a long moment. "Fine," she grumbled. She shuffled over to her side of the bed, turning away from him. "And right there? You should have said 'for the love of God' or a 'for fuck's sake' would have also worked." Granger was literally still instructing him about Muggle terminology. In the middle of the night. After she had just woken up insensible from a nightmare moments before. Draco shook his head in the dark as he retrieved his pillow and blanket and slid onto his side of the bed. He was grateful to be off of the floor. Even if the swot next to him was literally incapable of refraining from lecturing him.

They lay in silence for a while, before Draco heard Granger's breathing relax and become steady after she fell back asleep. After he was assured that she was resting peacefully again, he let himself sleep too. Draco didn't know how long he was actually asleep for before he was woken by Granger lightly whimpering, but he thought it was less than an hour. Without putting too much thought into it, he put his arm across the bed and rested one hand firmly on her shoulder — he wasn't trying to wake her this time, just trying to remind her that she wasn't alone. Hermione's whimpering stopped and after a few more minutes, he let his hand fall down. It didn't take too long for him to fall back asleep, now that she was settled.

xXx

Draco woke up in the morning, to find that Hermione had already left the guest room. He showered quickly and found her in the kitchen having breakfast with Mother and Wendell. He helped himself to some of the pancakes and bacon that Granger's father had prepared and sat down.

"I hope you like pancakes, Draco," Wendell said jovially. "I don't make them often — as a dentist, I really shouldn't be making anything that encourages syrup consumption — but it's a special occasion, having the both of you join us."

"Oh, you needn't worry about Draco, Wendell. He actually doesn't have much of a sweet tooth," said Hermione with a falsely innocent smile. Wendell turned to face Hermione as she spoke, so he missed the look of pure poison Draco shot in her direction. She knewthat was a lie! Draco had an enormous sweet tooth! She constantly hectored him about his candy consumption in the office, starting practically the moment they began sharing an office. Hermione's face displayed a very small smirk. His mother — the traitor — also could not restrain a small smile of her own, as she looked down at her hands with a soft grin. Draco sighed and sat down to eat his breakfast — possibly the last good breakfast he was going to get while he was here, thanks to the bloody Grangers' collective war against sweets.

The conversation between Hermione and Narcissa was a bit strained, but that was to be expected until they had a chance to speak freely about the bizarre situation they found themselves in. Wendell either didn't notice or he attributed any awkwardness to Hermione being nervous around her 'boyfriend's' mother. Draco got up to get a second cup of coffee, groaning as he moved. He tried to stretch out his very stiff back and shoulders. Wendell turned at the noise he had made and looked at Draco with concern.

"Alright there, son?"

Hermione crossed over to Draco as Wendell spoke and she put her arm around her fake-boyfriend. "Oh, he's fine. He's just still stiff from the long flight." She leaned up closer to him and gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

Draco quickly pulled her so she was flush against him and kissed her full on the mouth before she had a chance to realize what was happening. She froze for a moment, before returning his kiss hesitantly for a bare second before their lips parted. Draco brought her in for a tighter hug, so he could whisper in her ear. "It wasn't the flight, it was spending half the night on the floor." And on his last word, he squeezed her arse in full view of her father. That would show her — Miss 'Draco doesn't have a sweet tooth'.

Hermione squeaked. "Draco! Not in front of your step-father." Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were flashing.

"Ah, don't mind me. Young love! Sometimes, not so young love too." Wendell winked at the two of them and left the kitchen with his arm around Narcissa, who had a small smile playing across her lips as she looked at Draco and Hermione.

"Please do not grab my arse in front of my father. Which are words I never imagined I'd have to say to anyone, let alone you."

"If you insist. But I'm pretty sure that he believes we're a real couple. Which is what you specifically requested of me to do."

"It also didn't occur to me to tell you not to grab my arse in front of your own mother — which is, I guess, a failure of imagination on my part as well."

Draco flushed slightly. He hadn't even considered his mother's presence. Mostly, he was annoyed at Granger for using their situation to curse him to a lifetime of dessert-less Christmases. Also, she looked cute in sleep clothes and housecoat — the later of which was so voluminous it's not like he'd even got a good feel for her arse. Not that he was paying that close attention, of course. That was just payback.

But a missed opportunity was a missed opportunity.

"My apologies, Granger. I will try to keep my hands from wandering when I kiss you in front of our parents in order to maintain our cover as an actual couple."

"Thank you. That's all I ask." Her eyes were laughing, even though her expression was stern. "Is your back really sore?"

"Yes."

"Come back to our room and I'll heal you."

"Thanks, Granger. I'd appreciate that."

"Well, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't help you out?"

"You are by far, the best fake girlfriend I'd ever had." Draco said as they made their way back upstairs. He meant that. Draco had not enjoyed dating post war. All of the people he attempted to go out with were either interested in his money or, less often but still more than he would have expected, interested in the thrill of dating an ex-Death Eater. Whatever their reasons, the people whom he attracted seemed to only be interested in him because of his reputation. Very few people dealt with Draco Malfoy without bringing a lot of expectations that did not accord with the reality of him.

In fact, the only person he encountered who treated him normally in his day to day life was Hermione Granger, mostly because she was unapologetically ready to tear a strip off him anytime she felt he deserved it. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised that a fake relationship with Granger was better than any real one he'd had in years. Even when she was pretending, she was still one of the most realpeople he'd ever encountered.