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Chapter 7

Inside the room Arizona lay her eyes closed. Her face pale, almost every part of exposed skin appeared either bruised or had a dressing covering it. Her face, her neck, her wrists wrapped in bandage, with bruising up her arms. She was wearing a hospital gown, a drip going into her arm.

"Arizona" Bailey called gathering herself together. Arizona opened her eyes, appearing confused and panicked for a moment, before her gaze settled on Bailey and Amelia which calmed her slightly.

"What are you doing here?" She asked,

"The police called me; said you had a concussion, so I brought Amelia" Bailey explained. Amelia had her pen torch out already, Arizona didn't need her falling apart, she needed a neurosurgeon and a friend.

"Follow the light" she ordered. Arizona did so, grabbing Amelia's spare hand holding on. Bailey saw and held her other hand.

"Okay squeeze" Amelia ordered. "You've been vomiting, did you lose consciousness?"

"Yes, I vomited, twice, no 3 times, I lost consciousness, I'm not sure how many times and I don't know how long I was out for. I was drugged more than once," Arizona explained trying to recall everything that had happened.

"Okay, I'll check if they did a tox screen" Bailey offered

"They did, it was part of the exam" Arizona said not wanting to explain anymore, explaining meant remembering, and she really didn't want to do that.

"I think you have a concussion. If I was your primary doctor, I'd keep you at least 24 hours and repeat the CT scan. I'd also want you on IV fluids for 24 hours to flush out any residual drugs then to go home into someone's care." Amelia explained.

"I agree" a voice from the door made them all jump. "Sorry, Dr Paw, I'm the neurosurgical fellow. I thought I better check in. It's an honour to meet you Doctor Shepard, I read all about your butterfly tumour, truly amazing work." The young doctor came in and shook Amelia's hand.

"Good," Amelia said awkwardly but smiling enjoying the praise of her fellow neurosurgeons.

"Okay, I'll leave you in Dr Shepard's capable hands." Dr Paw left, handing Amelia the chart.

"That was brief" Amelia commented.

"Do you need anything Arizona?" Bailey asked still holding her hand.

"Can you check on Maggie, Hannah, and Michelle please, they are, were my patients, I need to make sure they're okay? He made me operate, I didn't want to," Arizona sobbed. "I didn't want to but if I didn't, he hurt me, and he was going to hurt them."

"It's okay. You did what you had too to survive," Bailey sympathised. "I'll go check on your patients" she promised patting Arizona's hand and leaving the room. Amelia sat in the chair Bailey had vacated.

"You don't have to stay" Arizona spoke from the bed, she hated pity and really didn't want to keep people here longer than they needed to be.

"I want to," Amelia replied, "Unless you want someone else, I can call them, "Callie was..." she began,

"No" Arizona's eyes opened her hand gripped Amelia's wrist. "No don't tell anyone especially not Callie, please" she begged. Amelia nodded. Arizona, clutched Amelia's wrist waiting for her to agree. She was ashamed of how weak she had been, and at how broken she was now. Callie was beautiful and perfect and had already felt suffocated by Arizona's PTSD. The last thing she wanted to do was to put more of a burden onto her ex-wife.

"Of course. I won't tell anyone I promise" Amelia said, Arizona relaxed slightly, releasing her wrist. "But if you need someone to talk too, I'm here." Arizona nodded thankfully as a knock came on the door. The police officer from the ambulance ride stuck her head in.

"Dr Robbins, I'm Officer Casey, and this is Detective Long, if it's okay with you we'd like to ask you some questions" she asked, Arizona nodded waving them in.

"Sure," Arizona paused looking at Amelia

"I can wait outside" Amelia offered hoping Arizona would allow her to stay and listen, but Arizona stayed quiet. "Okay" Amelia left the room, going to the coffee machine at the end of the hall.

Inside the room Arizona twisted the sheets.

"What do you want to know?" she asked hoping she sounded braver than she felt.

"Firstly, we need to record this for evidence, is that okay?" Casey asked.

"That's fine" Arizona said her voice trembling.

"Do you remember what happened Thursday night?" Detective Long questioned. Arizona nodded,

"I was at my car; I'd just finished back-to-back surgeries. 16 hours on call, I was tired, I fumbled with my keys, and someone was behind me, I felt a needle in my neck" Arizona rubbed the small puncture mark on her neck.

"I couldn't move, I couldn't scream he searched me took my phone, my keys, my wallet. It was Graham, he carried me to the car, and put me in the boot. Then we drove, I don't know how long for. He brought me to the room, tied me to a pipe, removed my leg and drugged me. I don't know how long I was out for. I woke up and he was there, he called me Nicole."

"Who is Nicole?" Casey questioned, scribbling in her notepad.

"Nicole Herman was a fetal specialist at Seattle Grey, Graham started the fellowship 2 years before I did. He wasn't progressing, I started and progressed further in 2 months than he had in 2 years. Graham and Nicole were seeing each other. Nicole had a brain tumour; she knew Graham wasn't progressing, but she was using him for sex. I put a stop to it." Arizona revealed, that was easier to talk about.

"Okay so he thought you were Nicole?" Long asked, Arizona shrugged.

"Sometimes he called me Arizona, most of the time Nicole. He called Nicole's tumour Arizona." She explained.

"What happened when you woke up?"

"He wanted me to teach him surgeries, we started with Jell-O moulds, passing wire through to hit a grape, it tests your accuracy. When he couldn't get it, he got mad. That was the first time he raped me, the first time I slept with a man" Arizona wiped away tears, fighting more nausea. She'd been gold star lesbian, the only man she had ever kissed was Nick aged 10, on the lips no tongue. "He took that from me"

"He drugged me, I think he raped me again I'm not sure, I was floating. When I came around my clothes were changed, but it hurt, my vagina hurt more than it had before, and I had new bruises and bite marks, I didn't remember getting." Arizona rubbed the dressings on her wrists, as she recalled the vulnerable feeling, she had no idea how many hours she had been out for, or what happened. She knew she'd been raped once, but how many other times she had no idea. The exam that they had given her, they had found tears, when she had got them, she wasn't sure. What was worse was she knew there was no way to know, not unless Graham told the police, but would he be honest? Her hours of consciousness didn't correlate at all to the amount of time she had been missing.

"He decided he wasn't progressing fast enough with Jell-O, so he brought in Maggie, I tried to fight, I tried but I knew if I didn't play along, he'd drug me, or beat me and operate anyway or stab her. He was going to stab her. It didn't matter to him if she was alive or dead, he just wanted to practice the surgery." Arizona paused again closing her eyes, Long passed her a glass of water which she gratefully sipped.

"He wasn't good enough to do the surgery, not in a fully equipped ER with one of the best mentor's I have ever had, let alone in a rundown hospital with limited equipment. I knew he'd bring my whole patient list, I did 50 surgeries solo in 4 months, on a fellowship its unheard of, I knew he wanted to do the same thing. I used the lube for the ultrasound, and managed to slip the handcuffs, but I couldn't leave Maggie, I found a phone and dialled 911. I thought that would be the end" Arizona closed her eyes taking a moment, she thought dialling 911 would be the end of the story, she had never thought it would take hours after that call for help to come. Never thought after dialling 911 she be forced to operate again.

"He found me, he hit me I wasn't ready, my weight was only on my good leg. I'm not used to wearing my prosthetic for days on end, it makes my stump swell means it doesn't fit as well. I fell I hit my head, he was carrying me, I don't know how long I was out for, when I opened my eyes." Arizona took a moment trying to remember, "Hannah, he had Hannah." Arizona stopped again, struggled to get through her story, but knowing if she stopped, she might never start it again.

"He wanted to solo, there was no way he could solo, I didn't even know if I could do solo, I normally have neurosurgery with me and a fully equipped OR. I had no choice, I tried to say no, I tried to stop it" Arizona rubbed her neck where the bruises were marking her skin.

"He was going to kill me, and he would have killed Hannah" Arizona said resolutely. "So, I started, I was waiting for the police, I went as slowly as I dared, until I got to the point of no return, then I finished as quickly as I could. He had the next person lined up ready to go. Then the police were there, and he was holding a scalpel to my neck, and the police were lined up to shoot. All I could think was shoot me, end this" Arizona rubbed the dressing on her neck.

"Okay, I think that's everything for now, Dr Robbins. We might need some follow up questions. We also have your phone and wallet to return to you" Long handed over the bits.

"If you need anything this is our contact card" Casey handed over the details.

"Thank you" Arizona took the card grateful she had told her story. The officer's left. Bailey and Amelia came in straight away.

"How are you doing?" Amelia asked,

"Exhausted"

"I bet, follow the light" Amelia ordered shining a pen torch. "Great squeeze my hands"

"I'm fine" Arizona rolled her eyes

"Peds, General, Fetal and now Neuro is there a speciality you haven't mastered?" Bailey snarked. Arizona rolled her eyes ignoring her.

"When can I go home?"

"Tomorrow if someone can stay with you" Amelia decided, as Doctor Paw had given her permission to be the lead on her friend's case.

"I live with DeLuca" Arizona stated that was easy. She could go home and be left alone.

"She means an adult, an actual adult who will check on you, and make sure you are okay. DeLuca is too busy sleeping with everything that moves" Bailey ranted.

"I'll be fine" Arizona protested.

"You stay with us, Mer won't mind, or I can ask Alex, or Callie, or even April" Amelia said, Arizona nodded, there was no way she was going to stay with Meredith, Maggie, Amelia and 3 kids, that would not be restful, similarly sleeping on Alex and Jo's sofa with all of her injuries would be uncomfortable. Callie was a no, while she had a spacious guest room, staying with Callie and Penny, while they slept in the bedroom next door, her old bedroom would be weird and heart breaking. Then there was April, since she'd spilled the beans to Jackson they hadn't been talking or communicating at all.

"I just want to go home to my own bed with my own things, DeLuca will be there, or he won't. I'll stay overnight then I am going home no matter what, I'll AMA if I have too" she said stubbornly.

"Arizona" Bailey replied indignant,

"Please you should both go home, I'll be fine" Arizona insisted wanting to be alone. Her being fine would have been more effective if she didn't have the bruises, cuts, and an IV with a monitor indicating she was still dehydrated.

"We are staying," Bailey said firmly, sitting on the visitor's chair arms folded.

"When can I go back to work?" Arizona asked suddenly, she really didn't want to sit at home alone for weeks on end.

"At least 2 weeks from neuro, its 10 days for the stitches to come out and I need to check on you at one week and before you go back to work," Amelia said

"And there will be mandatory counselling," Bailey ordered, "When they say you can come back, you can come back"

It wasn't a surprise, they'd had counselling after the shooting, the plane crash, her divorce, her miscarriage. What was another few sessions, she'd always be fine before, learnt the lines to recite by watching her father go to counselling growing up.

"Okay" she could do counselling. "What are you going to tell people, who is going to cover my service?"

"I haven't looked, do you have a recommendation?" Bailey answered both questions.

"Addison or Nicole might know someone, if not I can reschedule everyone but Michelle, she needs it this week or it will be too late. Addison might be able to fit it in."

"Okay I will ring her, and I don't have to tell anyone anything, I'm the chief" Bailey shrugged,

"Nobody asks me anyway" Amelia agreed.

"That's good, what did everyone think, when I didn't turn up for work?" Arizona asked, Bailey and Amelia exchanged awkward glances, not wanting to tell their friend that nobody had noticed.

"You rang in, or at least someone did on your behalf your surgeries got cancelled. I think it was gastro" Bailey explained,

"Okay, tell everyone who asks it's still gastro. I can be off with gastro for 2 weeks, right?" Arizona asked panicking, she didn't want awkward questions or anyone asking her business. Not after this, 2 weeks would be enough time for her bruises to heal, or at least for the swelling to reduce enough she could cover it with make-up, nobody had to know.

"If that's what you want" Bailey said diplomatically. She didn't agree but sometimes should stay private. But Grey Sloan was a family when one member hurt the rest did too. Still, it was Arizona's choice and they had to respect that even if they didn't agree. Arizona nodded closing her eyes, she felt exhausted even though it was only early.

"We will leave you to rest. I'll pop by tonight and check on you and tomorrow" Amelia promised,

"Get some sleep" Bailey ordered gently patting her hand, "I'll come by tomorrow"

"Amelia, can you bring some clothes when you come by tonight, please, the police brought my keys, phone and wallet. I just want to wear my own clothes" Arizona asked feeling awkward. Amelia nodded picking up the keys.

They left; Arizona closed her eyes just for a second.

"Dr Robbins" a voice from the door woke her up, the clock on the wall indicated it was 1700. "Sorry to wake you but the dinner trolley has arrived, you missed lunch and breakfast, so I thought you'd want something" A nurse stood timidly at the door. Arizona waved her in. She hadn't eaten properly in days she was famished.

"Thanks what have you got?"

After eating a bowl of soup and ice cream, Arizona lay in bed her stomach full her mind spinning. Had the last few days really happened, what was going to happen next. She deserved this. Her mind spun, she deserved this, for all the hurt she had caused, for all the pain she had caused. This was her penance. April said it herself, go to hell. And here she was. She had cheated on Callie, she had left her wife and daughter to pursue a fellowship, then she had betrayed her best friend she thought she was doing the right thing, she thought she was doing what was best it was only after she knew how much she had messed up. She had messed up everything. Feeling exhausted Arizona wiped away tears she didn't deserve to cry.

The door knocked again,

"Hello Dr Robbins, I'm Natasha I'm a counsellor. I've been asked to see you Dr Bailey sent me" The middle-aged women walked in; her brown hair plaited in a French plait. Arizona gave a half smiled she knew she had to talk to someone to get cleared for work. She could do this; she could lie her way through the session.

"I like to think of this as a trial run, my style doesn't fit everyone, I know your boss mandated therapy but that doesn't mean it has to be me. So, I'd like to do this session and have you evaluate it after, if you think it's a good fit we will continue. Have you had any experience with therapy before? If so, what was good about it? What wasn't so good?"

"I've been to therapy before, once was couples counselling with my ex-wife. I thought it was going well until my ex-wife dumped me and left me. Another time was after a shooter came to the hospital shot some of my friends and threatened me with a gun, then I had a plane crash, we were forced to go and a miscarriage, I'm familiar with therapy" Arizona snarked

Natasha gave what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "And how did those sessions go?"

So what did you think? No cliff hanger this time? Will Arizona tell Callie? Will Callie notice?