Thank for the reviews, you guys are as addicted to reading drama as i am writing it, good to know.

Arizona left the court room only one destination on her mind, she needed to see Sofia. Pulling up at Meredith's house she checked her appearance, the tear tracks had dried. She quickly removed any traces.

Walking down the path she knocked the door, Amelia opened it surprised to see Arizona there. After all the court case was due to go on until 5pm.

"I need to see Sofia" she begged, looking up to try stop the tears. She couldn't cry not yet, she needed to see her little girl then she could fall apart.

"Did it end already?" Amelia asked confused, the trial wasn't supposed to end yet.

"Yes"

"Did you win?" Amelia pressed, Arizona shook her head no,

"I need to see Sofia, before Torres…." She trailed off unable to complete her sentence. Amelia nodded, giving her a sympathetic look, what could she say to the woman who had just lost her child.

"Sofia" she shouted as the brown-haired girl bombed down the stairs.

"Mommy, you're not working!"

"No, I came to play with you and Zola for a bit" Arizona said putting on the biggest smile she could.

"Yay" Sofia took her hand, "We were operating on bunny, you can scrub in too" she pulled her up the stairs into Zola's bedroom, before they went inside Arizona stopped pulling Sofia into a tight hug.

"Goose you know I love you lots,"

"I know" Sofia said,

"You know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you, and even when you are with Mamma, I love you"

"I know" Sofia wriggled

"Mommy, you're hugging me to long" she complained, wanting to go back to playing with Zola.

"Just a bit longer" Arizona begged aware this was the last time she might hug her daughter. Callie had surprised her fighting that dirty, would she ever let her see her daughter again, or now she knew how broken she was would she stop contact all together.

"Mommy" Sofia wiggled again, "I love you too, but we got to save bunny"

Arizona let go, glad as soon as she did Sofia ran into the room so she could wipe the tears away without her asking questions and tried to commit that hug to memory before entering the room Amelia watched them play from the door. Waiting patiently to confront her friend once she stepped away from the children.

Arizona's phone rang it was April 9-11 Jenny. She knew she had to go, she knew April would only page her in the most dire of circumstances.

"Sofia mommy has to go now, can I have a hug" Arizona begged, Sofia sighed,

"But I gave you so many hugs today mommy" she complained,

"I know," Arizona released her taking a good look at her daughter, this could be the last time she saw her especially if Callie refused to let her have access. "I just want you to remember how much I love you"

"To the moon and back" Sofia recited from memory,

"Be brave, and be good for Mamma and Penny okay" Arizona said,

"I will," Sofia's face furrowed as she began sensing something was wrong, "And I'm good for you too"

"You are goose,"

"You're acting funny" Sofia complained,

"I'm sorry," Arizona took a breath, "I need to go to work now,"

"Tiny humans" Sofia said, "In mommy's bellies"

"Uh huh, but you know they aren't as important as you, nothing is as important as you" Arizona hugged Sofia again, kissing he daughter.

"Mommy I want to play" Sofia moaned wriggling out of Arizona's grasp and into Zola's room.

"Are you okay?" Amelia asked again

"I have to go" Arizona stood leaving the house, getting into her car driving to the hospital only to be informed Jenny was in OR 5. If asked details afterwards Arizona wouldn't be able to say what route she took, who she had spoken to. Only at the hospital did the feelings returned she scrubbed taking over the procedure saving Jenny and her baby. Something about holding an unborn baby and resituating it into the womb made her heart sing. The look on the grandma's face as she saw her granddaughter weeks hopefully before she was born was awesome and normally made the job worth doing, but not today. Today she was numb, desperately keeping herself together, if she let herself feel anything she would break, and she couldn't do that, wouldn't give Torres the pleasure of breaking her.

"How is the trial going?" Alex asked once Jenny had been sent to the ward her mother with her and they were scrubbing out, Arizona didn't reply,

"Arizona, don't you have to get back?" April asked, checking her phone only to see it had blown up with messages from Meredith as had Alex's. Before she could read them Arizona was out of the scrub room. April went to follow only to be distracted by Alex,

"She did what?" he muttered glaring at his phone,

"What?" April asked puzzled

"Arizona threw in the towel her lawyer came back from lunch said they are dropping the case and Callie won full custody, she didn't fight" Alex read unable to believe his eyes

"She what?" April replied,

"She gave in"

"Why?" April asked,

"We need to find her" Alex decided, he wasn't stupid he'd seen the changes in his boss. She was always in first, starting work really early in the morning when she didn't have Sofia, and never looked like she had slept, she barely ate, she had lost weight and was jumpy. Like everyone he had chalked it up to the stress of the custody case ignoring the screaming instinct it was something more. He had told himself he was done with crazy, done with getting involved, he had put his head down, but now he had to know she was okay.

Arizona hurried down the corridors glad April wasn't following, she had done everything she needed to and was starting to feel, she could feel herself breaking down and knew she wouldn't make it to her office before the tears came instead finding a store cupboard and darting inside hiding behind the shelves, dialling one number,

"Dr Evans speaking?"

"Help" Arizona said feeling herself slide into another panic attack, her third one of the day,

"Where are you?" Natasha asked, already getting up walking out of her office, luckily she was at Grey Sloan and had just finished her morning list. She was about to start lunch when her phone had rang.

"Grey Sloan, store cupboard 4th floor"

"Okay, name 5 things can you see?"

"I can't, I can't breathe" Arizona gasped rocking slightly.

"Arizona, you are safe, you are sitting on the cold floor, feel that coldness, feel the phone case, hear my voice" Natasha tried, only to hear gasping panicked rapid breaths.

"Arizona, focus" she begged, there was no improvement, "Now name 5 things you can see?" she tried, hoping to get her client to focus long enough to be coached out of the panic attack

"Trays,"

"Thats great, you see trays, what else can you see?"

"Floor, shelves, feet, door" Arizona listed, as Natasha talked her through another calming exercise, it worked with Arizona able to take longer breaths, the chest pain eased, feeling returned to her body

"Okay, which floor are you on?" Natasha questioned, reaching the lifts

"I'm okay, I can come to you" Arizona offered wanting to get off the floor,

"Do you have an office?"

"Yes"

"I can meet you there its more private" Natasha suggested,

"It's on the third floor" Arizona agreed standing, her legs felt shaky, but she was able to walk. She made it first to her office, going inside about 5 minutes later the door knocked,

"It's Natasha" the voice called

"Come in" Arizona replied, Natasha did and was holding a bottle of water and a sandwich.

"It's important to eat especially after an anxiety attack it can ease some of the symptoms" Natasha suggested. Arizona took the sandwich she hadn't eaten all day and knew some of the dizziness and shakiness could be due to low sugars.

"I'm glad you reached out for help, that was incredibly brave would you like to tell me why?" Natasha asked when Arizona finished the sandwich and water. She began pacing nervously up and down.

"Torres won, she found out everything she had me followed. I lost my daughter"

Natasha took a minute, she guessed by the phone call Arizona had lost, she had made sure her schedule was clear just in case. They had discussed the worst-case scenario before the custody case, but something had happened that made it worse.

"She had you followed?" Natasha clarified,

"Uh huh, a private investigator, he has been following me, taking pictures" Arizona said feeling violated. Natasha's eyebrows rose in surprise, she hadn't seen that coming. She really wished she could sit down with Arizona's ex and get her point of view.

"How does that make you feel?"

"Violated, hurt, confused." Arizona listed, "She had me followed, for weeks, and I didn't know. Where did he follow me? Did he watch me at home? In the shower? He watched me go to my support groups did he sit in listen as I shared my ordeal? Does Callie know?" Arizona cried, at the thought her ex-wife had found out the details and still chose to say those nasty things about her, to not approach her and ask how she was. Was their relationship that over that they showed no concern for one another? As she got more agitated the pacing became quicker. How could Callie do that?

Arizona knew Callie didn't love her as much as she loved Callie, if Callie asked she'd jump back into her arms in a instant but Callie didn't feel that way, Callie loved Penny. Callie had felt suffocated by Arizona. She'd destroyed Callie, she'd pushed her away, and done the one thing she knew Callie would never be able to forgive. She had cheated on her, she had destroyed her and now, Callie was destroying her right back.

Arizona phone rang interrupting them,

"It's her, its Torres!" she said, pacing feeling her breathing quicken and the panic build.

"Take a breath" Natasha instructed, "You have a choice you can answer it or let it go to voice mail"

Arizona nodded feeling calmer, she pressed answer,

"Hey" she greeted Callie

"Arizona, what the hell?" Callie said, "You just left the custody case halfway through, why? Why drag us through all this if you had no intention of fighting?" Arizona could hear her pacing and knew she'd be walking up and down running her hand through her hair, "What's going on? What don't I know?" She sounded worried, Arizona sighed, she felt exhausted, she wanted to hang up the phone and never speak to Callie again, she felt that hurt and betrayed. But Callie had Sofia, so if she wanted to see Sofia, she needed to be nice to Callie.

"Honestly, I think you know everything" If the private investigator had handed over everything like he said he would, she knew everything. "Callie, please don't keep her away from me," Arizona begged, Natasha placed a supportive hand over Arizona's who squeezed it with her free hand.

"I would never, you can visit us anytime" Callie promised, "You can face time every night, you're her mommy" Arizona let out a sob in relief, hearing her ex-wife say that.

"Can I….I mean I know its soon but you leave soon…..Can I have her tonight?" Arizona begged. There was an awkward silence.

"Not tonight Penny is taking us out to celebrate, but we are here for more 2 weeks. She can stay with you tomorrow and for most of that time" Callie promised, Arizona's eyes closed on celebrate. Is that what Callie wanted to do? Celebrate Arizona not getting custody, celebrate moving away, tearing a mother from her daughter.

"Okay" Arizona replied, unable to say what she was thinking, too scared to annoy Callie, "Thank you" She hung up the phone.

"They leave in 2 weeks, but Torres says I can have Sofia tomorrow"

Natasha nodded, she had heard the conversation and was proud of her client for keeping her temper and her panic under control.

"Is that what you expected to happen?"

Arizona thought about it, they were both a lot calmer than they would normally be. Was that progress or just confirmation this was the end?

"I don't know, Callie asked if i was okay, she asked what she didn't know but the investigator he knew everything. I don't understand why she is playing games now. It's like she doesn't know anything" Arizona muttered confused her head everywhere.

What do you think i notice some of you have guessed whats going on in the reviews, others aren't as close.

Let me know what you think