Now
For the first time since he arrived, Five woke up sooner than Vanya. It was the first thing she realized when he started to shake her awake. He was already dressed. The events of last night were returning to her slowly as she was still planning to catch a couple of extra moments of sleep. She got attacked after all and chased out of the house, not to mention Helen said she should consider quitting. She just wanted to stay in bed all day.
Five apparently had different plans.
'W-what?' she asked, feeling the mess of hair that was on top of her head.
He eyed it for a moment, chuckling a bit before he said, 'I have to go now.'
'Okay,' she said feeling happy that he decided to wake her up to tell her that he was leaving, while also a bit upset that he woke her up to tell her that he was leaving. It would have been sweet, but Vanya knew there was a more pragmatic reason for this.
Jerk
Her head fell down on the pillow again, but he shook her shoulder again, 'No, I want to show you something before I go.'
Vanya looked incredibly unwilling, 'Really? Now?'
'Yes, get up.'
After a couple of moments of Five's intense gaze ,it was obvious he would not let it go. So she rolled out of the bed feeling like she barely caught any sleep and followed him to the spot near her door.
'I want to teach you something.'
'You can't be serious. It's like 5 a.m., Five,' she whined a bit not even mentioning the irony of this which made him roll his eyes, 'It will be quick. I promise.'
She didn't look too sure but she nodded anyway. She already had a feeling that just like when they were younger she would follow any of his ideas no matter how crazy it sounded.
He nodded as well before he grabbed her wrist and pulled it closer to him.
'Try to break free from my hold,' he told her and she blinked confused for a moment before she tried to pull away only to realize how firmly Five was holding her.
'Are we doing a magic trick or something?'
'Self-defence.'
'Five,' she was ready to give him a lecture when he said smugly as always, 'Break free from my hold and we don't have to.'
She watched him in silence before she pulled again and again with zero luck. She didn't intend to actually wrestle with him so she just decided to give in and humour him, 'Alright. How do I break free?'
'Rotate your wrist so your thumb lines up with where my thumb meets my finger and jerk sharply by bending your arm at the elbow,' he explained patiently. She did as she was told, breaking free on the first try although she had a feeling he mostly let her go.
'Now, it's key that you don't get on the ground in any of these situations. You have more of a chance when you run than trying to fight,' he said before he pointed at his knee, 'Thrust the sole of your foot toward the knee to incapacitate the attacker. It will buy you time to run, also it hurts like hell.'
'Can I try it on you?' she asked, teasing and he rolled his eyes, 'Maybe later.'
When she was a child she was not allowed to train with any of her siblings. Of course, she never needed it since she was obviously ordinary and never went to any mission with her siblings, but it would be nice to be included. Maybe it would even be fun, although she was sure that if Five really got into training her, she was sure she would hate it.
She chuckled and he smirked at her, 'I have to go, but I want you to seriously be careful today. In case of anything please call me. You have my number. Also when are you supposed to see Leonard about the key?'
'He said he would stop later and leave it in my mailbox,' she said as she remembered the text she got from him.
Five stopped in track for a moment looking at her before he asked, 'Did he say what time?'
She shook her head, 'I'm guessing during lunch time.'
Five watched her for a moment before he said, 'Alright. I'll call you for lunch.'
She smiled at him before she watched him walk out of the door. There was no point in going back to bed. She went to make breakfast only to notice a plate and coffee ready for her.
The good stuff.
Since she had to hear out his complaints about her shitty coffee. She took a mug and went to eat. Ever since Five came she had been eating a lot healthier. Until then she usually didn't have time or appetite for food at all. Maybe it was because of the pills.
She sighed and quickly got away from the table remembering her pills. She went through her bag surprised that she did not find them there. Did she also leave them at Leonard's? No, he would have mentioned them. Maybe she dropped them in the van, but now that she thought about it the last time she took a pill was yesterday before lunch. It was strange. She decided to go after work for a refill and somehow manage without them for today.
Vanya cleaned the dishes after she was done, actually enjoying the breakfast for once and not feeling so tired. As she opened the small door to her wardrobe she went to pick up her shirt when she noticed a light blue blouse she bought about a year ago on an impulse but never actually wore it. She touched the sleeve feeling the softness of the material and after a moment actually picked it up and put it on. She still went with pants and a jacket on top, but she had to admit that the blouse looked nice on her. Since she was a child and she first started to grow into a woman she never thought of herself as pretty like Allison or Mom were. She was just plain and average so she never had the need to put on fancy clothes or dresses, skirts and makeup. She just didn't see the reason to.
She was almost out of the apartment when she looked back down at the blouse. It reminded her of how Allison used to ask her to play dress up with her and she would try to do her hair and makeup when she was bored.
Vanya looked at the blouse and almost went back to the apartment to change, but stopped herself. She decided for once to be brave enough for a stupid blouse.
On her way to practice that the receptionist, Karen, asked her if she had a good lunch with her brother yesterday. Vanya felt a bit embarrassed as she remembered her talk yesterday with Helen when suddenly Karen came and told her that her brother, James, wanted to have lunch with her to which the other woman asked if he was hot. She smiled at her tightly and hurried to the practice.
Today, she felt much lighter than she did before. Like she got a good night sleep and a decent breakfast, maybe she really did need to change her lifestyle to feel better.
The practise came and went before she knew it, and she had time for lunch, but to her disappointment Five didn't pick up or answer any of her messages which meant he was busy.
She sighed a bit sadder than she intended to be. She knew Five had work, it was enough that he managed to find time when he did.
It started to rain, which added to her gloomy mood.
She chuckled at herself humourlessly once again, she gave too much to someone only to get disappointed if they didn't deliver. Five had more important things to do than go to lunch with her. She went to lunch alone, sticking to her new eating schedule and then returned to work. Afterwards, she still did not receive any word from Five and she grew a bit worried about him. He could at least write to her that he was busy or something.
'Hey, Vanya,' said a cheerful voice by her side and she looked up to notice Leonard walking close to her, 'The weather is a bit strange today, isn't it?'
She greeted him. They chatted a bit as she noticed Helen leaving as well and she raised her hand in a short wave.
The woman gave her a tight smile as she passed them.
'Who's she?' Leonard asked curiously, maybe noticing the tension.
'She's the first chair,' said Vanya before she realized that didn't really explain anything to him so she went on and also mentioned the upcoming concert.
'You should try it,' he said, sounding very optimistic and excited. She grimaced a bit at his enthusiasm. She never tried to be the first chair because she knew she was never that good. She didn't need more failures in her life than she already got.
'Hey, want to grab a bite? I know this place down the street not too far actually,' he said and Vanya froze a bit. She thought back to her yesterday's conversation with Five. He asked her not to go out with Leonard. A part of her thought that it was ridiculous. Five couldn't just waltz in and tell her who she could go out with and who not. Another part of her wasn't even sure she wanted to go out with him. He looked like a very nice and sweet man and definitely not someone who should get involved with someone as messed up as her. And the last part of her actually wanted to go just to prove herself that she could have a normal relationship for once. Just once.
Ultimately she gave him a sad smile. It wouldn't be right at all to use him for her own benefit when she could tell she didn't feel that way about him. She thought he was sweet and talking with him was nice, but she didn't see him as someone she could fall in love with.
'I'm sorry. I'm already meeting someone for dinner, but thank you,' she noticed his smile fell a bit and something flashed behind his eyes before he nodded, 'Of course, sure, maybe next time?'
'Sure,' she said and smiled at him politely before she pointed to the direction he came from, 'I should go.'
'Right, well, it was nice seeing you.'
'You too,' she nodded and went her way feeling a bit down from the whole thing. Maybe she shouldn't have listened to Five or her depressing feelings and go try it. Five didn't know the guy. She didn't know the guy, but she knew he acted nice enough.
She remembered her keys and turned around only to realise that he was gone.
'Shit,' she pulled out her phone only to hear someone call her name again and meet with Allison's tall figure, 'Hi.'
'Hi,' she said, putting her phone away.
Her sister wanted to talk so they went to the nearest bar ordering drinks. That was a first. When she pulled out her key Vanya was confused, 'Did I really leave it in the house?' For a second she thought she got crazy or something.
'No, I came to your apartment and found Leonard there he said he came to return it,' she explained and Vanya blinked, even more confused taking her key and wondering what the hell did it mean.
After the third glass of scotch and their discussion of why was Leonard in her apartment, Allison suddenly started a new topic, 'Luther said Five literally told him that you have his vote about mom.'
Vanya couldn't hide the surprise from her face as this was the first time she was hearing about it, 'Oh, he didn't mention that.'
Allison smirked a bit as she looked down at her drink, 'I noticed his uniform in your bedroom. He's staying with you.' It wasn't a question.
For some reason it made Vanya feel uncomfortable to discuss Five with her. She felt her cheeks warming up probably from the alcohol and she had to guard herself again.
She tried to look natural, 'He showed up after the funeral and it was late so he...'
'I'm sorry, I didn't say it to make you feel like you needed to apologise or explain it anymore,' Allison cut her off looking a bit guilty, 'I just...I wanted to know how you're handling now that he's back. You two were really close when we were kids.'
Vanya let out an embarrassed chuckle not realising that everyone knew about it, 'We were-are just close. With Five it's always easier to just I don't know. He never shot me down or... I can't explain it,' she admitted, but Allison raised her hand, 'You don't have to. I get it. I think I get it better than anyone, sis.'
She looked up at her and probably for the first time since Allison started to talk, Vanya felt the need to defend herself, 'It's not like that. We're siblings.'
'Adopted.'
'Still wouldn't be okay,' said Vanya and gave her a look, 'Isn't that the reason you and Luther didn't work out?'
Allison looked down at her glass, 'There were a lot of reasons why me and him didn't work out, but I don't regret it. He made me feel special not just because of my powers, but because of me. He never looked at me like I was something. He just looked at me like I was Allison and I was amazing because of it. No powers or looks or whatever, just me. That's why I ask about you two. Ever since we were younger the others could see there was this bubble around you two and no one could come inside.'
If Allison's words were meant to ease her they only proved to make her even more nervous. She didn't know how to react to all she was saying. Vanya knew her and Five were close. She felt it, and it was clear the others had to pick up on it, but she never realised that they might think they were more.
She shook her head, 'With Five and I-it was never like that. We care for each other but as siblings. We're just that close I think because we clicked better than the rest of us. It happens in normal families, why not in ours?'
'Because we're not your average family?' joked Allison before she waved her hand, 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just...I just always wondered I guess. I must have projected some feelings of my own onto you and Five.'
Vanya suddenly felt like she offended Allison in some way. She felt like she was thirteen again craving the attention and love of her sister.
'We never spoke about it being anything and there was never anything physical like with you and Luther. We kissed just once...'
'Wait what?' asked Allison looking shocked and Vanya felt like slapping herself. She closed her eyes feeling so ashamed in that moment that she wanted to crawl under the face of earth.
'It was a long time ago. We were kids and curious, it didn't mean anything,' she stopped talking and took a deep breath, 'My point is. We're not like you two.'
Allison got over her shock and laughed a bit, 'Okay, no judgement. Still, it's a bit weird. We're all adults and he's still wearing shorts.'
They looked at each other and laughed. It felt good to spend time with Allison. She said that they still had time to have a good relationship. Maybe she was right.
17 years ago
She was in her room practising the violin. She wasn't sure what her siblings were doing since she had her door closed and so far no one came to complain or ask her to stop. They used to be very upset with her playing, but now it was as if they didn't even bother with that.
It was Brahms's Violin Sonata No.3 when between the lowering of the sound she heard someone turn a page and she realised someone else was in the room. Calmed by the music she didn't panic or do anything to ruin the melody, just shifted her eyes to her right only to find Five lying on her bed with his notebook writing something down.
This was unusual to say the least.
It was the third time he had ever entered her room. The first two times was when he came to sleep in the bed with her to help her with the nightmares.
She was very surprised by him being there during the day. No, scratch that she was still surprised by him coming to her two nights in a row.
She played for another couple of minutes finishing the song before she turned around the pages and started another one. She wasn't really sure what to talk about with Five. When she was younger she thought he hated her. It wasn't that he did something. He never hurt her or said anything mean to her. He always seemed to jab at their siblings, but it was like she was the only exception. However, he also never really spoke with her. It was like he was ignoring her to the point that she actually believed he hated her. Then he started to talk to her, and one time when they were younger he took her out to the movies without anyone noticing. She started to realise that he was just a very reserved person, but that he liked her just fine. At least enough to take her on an adventure and sleep next to her when she had nightmares.
She played the next song and the next until her fingers got soar and she finally decided to rest. She looked over at her bed half expecting Five to be gone, but he was still there only now he moved from his notebook to her wall.
'Hey!' she put her violin down and walked to him trying to chase him away without touching him, 'Don't do that!'
'Did you run out of paper?' she asked a bit frustrated from his lack of respect for her things.
'I needed more space to see if I was right.'
She sighed annoyed a bit and tried to stop him from writing on her wall again.
'I liked the third song,' he said as he stopped writing on her wall and picked his notebook to continue there.
'Oh, Vivaldi,' she said and smiled a bit. She liked it as well.
She sat down next to him and watched him continuing to write down what he needed from the wall.
She wanted to ask why he came, why was he here, but she was afraid he would get annoyed and leave. She was always afraid of people leaving her all alone and never coming back and she would be left there forgotten in the dark like in her nightmares.
She looked over at him for a moment before she decided to pick Crime and Punishment and read it for like a third time next to him. They sat next to each other with their backs against her wall in comfortable silence, even in the silence Vanya found joy because it felt good to know someone was there.
At one point Luther passed her room and stopped in track looking inside, 'Hey, are you coming downstairs, Five?'
Five didn't even look up from his notes as he asked, 'Do you want to go downstairs?'
Vanya didn't move, trying hard not to look too disappointed that Five would leave and that Luther didn't even ask her when Five rose his head and looked at her. It was just then that she realised that he was actually talking to her.
She shook her head doing her best not to look as embarrassed as she felt and avoided looking at them.
'Suit yourself,' said Luther and left, letting Vanya breathe again.
She dared herself to look over to Five who was back to his notes. she couldn't help but feel ridiculously happy about him staying. It felt nice to be included in someone's space like this. It made her feel good about herself.
She was smiling like an idiot and it was probably stupid but she nudged him a bit after a moment and said without looking at him, 'Thanks.'
'What for?'
'For…just for being…you,' she shrugged her shoulders, the smile still there as she actually started to read the words before her.
'I don't know what you mean.'
'Okay,' she chuckled a bit, feeling his head snap into her direction. She wouldn't even notice it, but it was so abrupt the bed moved a bit under the movement.
She looked up at him still smiling kindly before she grimaced a bit. Five looked utterly stunned like she just told him something illogical and his brain crashed.
She blinked, 'What?'
He ducked back to his notes, 'Nothing. Uh, continue.'
She watched him for a second before she decided it must have been nothing and returned to her book for the third time but in a lighter mood.
She parted with Allison in front of her apartment and went to go in when her phone rang. Vanya looked oddly at the phone number she didn't recognize on her screen before she picked it up, 'H-hello.'
'...'
Breathing...Not weird at all.
'Hellooo?' she asked again wondering whether she shouldn't just hang up.
'V-vanya.'
Five?!
'Hi, are you okay?' asked Vanya, already feeling that something was wrong from the way he said her name.
She could hear him breathing, but no words came out, 'D-do ever...do you ever wonder about why people pay to go up on tall buildings...and then just put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?'
She was at a loss for words after that. She turned around several times as if she was expecting him to show up somewhere.
He laughed suddenly on the phone.
Vanya was silent for a moment before she asked, 'Are you drunk?'
'No.'
Yes.
She sighed and tried to push down her smirk, 'Where are you?'
'The main library on 4th,' he said and she nodded to herself, 'Alright. I'll come pick you up, don't cause trouble. I don't want to deal with the child protection services.'
She took a cab to the library. Vanya was about to run over most of the floors when she remembered something Five told her before.
I found it in a library that was still standing.
She nodded to herself and asked the woman at the front desk where they kept the autobiographies. As she took the elevator it was the first time it all hit her. She wasn't sure if she was just so selfish or it was the pills which she was now lacking, but for the first time since Five came back and told her his quest to stop the apocalypse she actually realised it.
The elevator stopped, but Vanya was left frozen in place.
I found it in a library that was still standing.
Five was...in the future where everyone and everything was destroyed. In six days in a future which she didn't know of but was slowly heading toward her world, everything and everyone she knew was gone. Earlier today she thought she still had time to come to terms with Allison, but did she really?
'Miss, are you okay?' asked an older man, smiling at her kindly.
In six days he will be dead.
Her family will be dead. She will be dead and Five who just jumped in the past from the future will be left alone in that place for ages again.
'Miss?'
She quickly hurried out of the elevator before nodding at the man gratefully before running to the direction she needed to go. For a brief moment however she stopped by the shelves and touched her chest feeling how quick her heart was beating and how shallow her breathing was.
Vanya closed her eyes trying to calm down knowing she made a huge mistake by not taking a pill today.
She shook her head. She needed to calm down. Five was here to stop the apocalypse if there was anyone who could do it, it was him. He had leads and he was a professional. He would make it work. He might look like the thirteen year old who ran out of the house, but he wasn't. He was an adult. At least she thought he was...
With her belief in him unshaken she managed to calm down enough to start walking while checking for him.
When she finally found Five lying in front of one of the shelves with Dolores and an empty bottle by his side, she finally felt herself calming down completely. Apocalypse or not as long as Five was here, she could deal with it...for now.
'Oh Five,' she walked closer to him before she kneeled down. He reeked of alcohol.
Very gently she put her hands on his cheeks, 'Five? Five, can you hear me?'
He lazily opened his eyes before he smiled at her, 'You're here.'
'Yes, you called me. I think we should go.'
He shook his head and pulled her by the sleeve of her jacket closer, 'How come...,' his hands were suddenly in her hair pulling it apart to loosely fall on her shoulders as he played with it a bit, 'how come you don't wear your hair down anymore?'
His tongue slipped a couple of times as he asked, but she heard him clearly. She chuckled, 'Why?'
'You look prettier with your hair down, Vanya,' he said and closed his eyes.
'Cute, I'll keep that in mind,' she looked around making sure no one would see them, 'Do you have the keys to your van?'
'I ditched it,' he mumbled and she sighed a bit, but tried to continue thinking positively, sort of.
She had to call a cab again.
'I like the blouse. It's a good colour for you,' he said and nodded at it, his eyes opened again. Vanya raised her brows, 'Whoa, drunk Five has a sense of fashion. Good to know,' she looked over his face. He was drunk, but he also looked very relaxed and calm. She wondered what his blurry drunk mind was thinking while he was looking at her so nicely. He even had a soft smile on his face.
After a moment it felt weird. She felt the same embarrassment she did earlier today talking with Allison and she quickly shook her head.
'Alright, let's go,' she said and tried to pull him up, but he stopped her by grabbing her jacket and blouse underneath pulling her back down toward him with their foreheads pressing against each other. It was a miracle he didn't headbutt her in the process.
Vanya let herself be pulled and watched Five as he kept his eyes closed. The smell of alcohol was even stronger when he spoke, 'You know, when I close my eyes, I feel like I'm thirteen again, I mean it feels like we're thirteen again. It's easy to forget about everything and just pretend that we are, you know?'
She grimaced, 'I doubt you smelled like a sailor at thirteen, Five.'
'Just-just try it. Just...try to close your eyes and forget about everything. Do you remember how it was like when it was just us in that house with millions of ideas about what we could do when we got out. When we would be free,' he said, his eyes still closed. It was strange to see his face this close. She slept next to him for days now, as well as when she was younger, but there still was some space between them. Now there was none.
She closed her eyes trying to ignore the fact that they were in the library and anyone could see them.
'It's nice,' he said and she could hear the smile in his voice even if her eyes were closed, 'Yes, it feels nice.'
She let her hand gently touch his shoulder and for a moment it really was easy to pretend and forget that she wasn't thirteen anymore.
She felt Five's hand suddenly move to her hair again as he was playing with it again. Now she remembered that when they were younger he would sometimes take it and look at the pieces while telling her something on her bed. He must have liked her hair.
He shifted a bit and she felt the corner of his lips against hers as he probably wanted to kiss her cheek. Everything about him, his hands, skin, and lips were so soft, so young. He was still in his younger self's body after all. It felt nice.
'Fiv...,' she was cut off as he turned his head and she without a doubt felt his lips touching hers in a small chaste kiss.
She let out a startled noise and opened her eyes standing up quickly, 'Five!'
She covered her mouth and looked around before she looked back at him, her heart beating like a drum. Luckily no one saw it.
Vanya looked down at Five, but with how he didn't even move or open his eyes it was obvious he fell asleep.
Wonderful.
She tried to calm herself by pressing her hand against her chest, reminding herself that no one saw it and Five was just drunk, probably not even knowing what he was doing. She didn't have time to analyse all of it now since she had to find a way to get him home.
'Ah have you no shame?' asked a woman suddenly as Vanya bent down to take a bottle which got knocked over when she jumped away from Five.
Vanya blinked, but tried to ignore her.
'What kind of mother lets her child get drunk like this in a library of all the places?' asked the woman.
Vanya finally looked over at her. She reminded her of her old landlady which used to bang on her door every time she tried to practise because she didn't consider the violin to be a proper music instrument.
'Have you no shame? This is a despicable act. Such indecency...'
'Okay, that's enough,' she told the woman, surprising both of them, 'You don't get to tell me another word. Who-who are you even? Just leave us alone, we're leaving,' said Vanya a bit shaken that she had managed to tell the woman to back off. It wasn't like the woman was wrong. Vanya did look like some mom who let her son get drunk, but damn, it hit her hard for some reason.
She turned around from her and kneeled down to Five, 'Can you stand?'
The noise he let out couldn't be decoded so Vanya just hoped for the best as she put his arm over her shoulder and with all her strength tried to push him up from the ground. Thirteen-year-old or not. Drunk Five was heavy.
She looked down at Dolores and with a sigh went to pick her up when she heard.
'The fuck is going on here?'
Her eyes widened as she caught Diego and Luther looking at her confused.
She opened her mouth to answer, not entirely sure what to say when Five suddenly gained consciousness enough to say, 'Oh look, family reunion.'
As much as Vanya did not want to talk with her brothers right now, it was good that they came because she couldn't actually imagine how it would have looked if she dragged Five down along with Dolores. She was pretty sure in his drunk state Five was heavy as hell.
She followed them down toward what appeared to be Diego's car. She heard them talk but neither of them even asked her what she was doing there or what happened.
Typical. You were never included.
It was raining again, and it seemed like it was getting worse each minute that passed by.
'Alright, where do you think you're going?' asked Diego, suddenly blocking her way.
'Diego...,' started Luther, but he just shook his head, 'No, Five was with her and he goes and gets drunk? You're a bad influence on him. Besides, we have bigger issues here. The assholes who broke into the house? They were looking for him,' he said and pointed at Five who was seemingly passed out in Luther's arms.
'You have no business with this. Go home, Vanya. Stop getting in our way and finally accept that you don't belong with us!'
Vanya was torn. Torn between wanting to leave because Diego's harsh words reminded her so much of how dad acted with her, and staying because of Five. She felt something inside of her grow. It was like it was spreading and spreading inside her until it would ultimately explode. She wasn't entirely sure if she would start screaming back at him or just cry, but the rain which was now literally turning into a storm was not helping.
Before she actually felt herself let out whatever was inside her, Five appeared in front of her in a blink of an eye and punched Diego in the face.
'Holy...,' let out Luther who realised Five had teleported from his arms.
Five stumbled a bit backwards only to be caught by Vanya who was still shocked from what just happened. He easily put his hand around her for balance and frowned at Diego growling, 'Don't ever talk to her like that again!'
He said it without a single mistake and if he wasn't leaning so much against Vanya, she wouldn't even know he was drunk.
Diego got up looking shocked by Five's behaviour. Vanya felt genuinely worried that he would try to punch him back and it would end with a fight.
'I'm not going anywhere without her,' said Five and shifted burying his face against her shoulder so now she stood there awkwardly under the gaze of Luther and Diego with Five being...well like this. Right now she actually regretted even more not taking a pill because it would help her to feel less embarrassed and like she wanted to go under a rock.
Just then Five leaned away from her body and puked near her and she barely managed to hold him up and not fall down right into the mess he made.
'Jesus,' she mumbled.
'You know what? Fine, do whatever the fuck you two want!' Diego snapped at them and started to walk away. Vanya was half expecting Luther to do the same, but he remained still just looking at them before he took a step closer, 'I will help you with him, you can carry the doll...'
'Dolores,' she corrected him without thinking and shrugged her shoulders, 'Her name is Dolores.'
He nodded and went to take Five back into his arms lifting him up like a child. Vanya easily lifted Dolores and they went to her apartment. The storm ended just as quickly as it started.
She felt a bit weird as she let the two well three into her apartment. With Five and Dolores she was comfortable enough, maybe even with Allison after the drink, but Luther? The favourite son? If their father was even capable of favouritism. Dad's most trusted and dedicated follower? Not in the slightest.
'Where do you want him...?'
'You can put him in the bedroom. It's fine,' she said, cursing herself as she felt her voice shaking. She always felt so uneasy around her siblings. Anyone who wasn't Five made her feel so small, fragile and weak. All those things their father always said about her.
'Alright,' he said and followed her to the bedroom. She was glad she put the flowers Leonard left her in the living room behind the bookcase so they weren't so easy on the eye for some reason. She still found them a bit weird, but it felt too mean to just throw them out.
Luther sat Five down easily and undid his shoes before he put a blanket on top of him. Despite many reasons he wasn't Vanya's favourite person, she could tell he cared deeply for his brothers and sister. She wasn't sure if he cared for her as well, but if he at least cared for Five it was enough.
When he finally came out of her bedroom, she once again felt the strange uneasiness she had around most of her siblings caused by her father who never missed an opportunity to tell her she did not belong, and was not one of them.
'He said some pretty strange things on the way here,' started Luther looking awkward the same way she felt in her apartment.
None of her siblings came to visit her in almost twelve years, but in three days three of them showed up.
It was true what he said. As they walked home, Five did ramble a lot about the apocalypse although Vanya assumed Luther did not believe him and thought it was just the drunkenness talking.
'Yeah.'
'Did he tell you something? Something about those people who came into the house?' he asked, changing his state to an interrogation.
She shrugged her shoulders, 'He said bad things were about to happen and that he had to stop them. He was upset about what happened in the house, but he didn't say those guys came after him.'
'Well, they did and it wasn't the first time either. He was there the first time in the Doughnut shop during the shooting. I'm sure you heard of it,' he said and she realised that she did in passing.
'He didn't say anything about that. I think he likes it here because he doesn't have to. He just comes here to rest,' she said and actually believed that that was the case.
'I think for him it's more about the company than the place,' said Luther and looked at her strangely again and she felt embarrassed for some reason.
Why was everyone implying something today?
She shook her head. Maybe he just meant it in a harmless way.
'If you want,' she started and pointed at the couch, 'You can stay until he sobers up and ask him yourself.'
Luther looked at the couch a bit suspiciously, maybe wondering if he wouldn't break it until he surprised her by asking, 'Where will you sleep?'
If she wasn't feeling like dying from embarrassment before now she definitely was as she realised that it didn't even occur to her that she was sleeping in bed with Five or that it was weird.
She tried desperately to look casual as she shrugged her shoulders, 'I'll just sleep next to Five. We're both small so we fit.'
She mentally hit her forehead.
Why did that sound so weird?
Again, that strange look which made her so ashamed for some reason. When it was just her and Five she didn't even spare a thought about it. It was so natural for them to be together, and close, but with others... she was realising more and more than it really wasn't normal to have a relationship like this with him. It made her feel worse than before.
Luther sat down on the couch which let out a loud crack. She wondered if it was the best idea to offer him to stay, 'You used to do that when you were younger too.'
It took Vanya a moment to realise that he was talking about her and Five's sleeping arrangements.
'You-you knew?' she asked, almost startled as if their father was still alive and could punish them for sleeping together in one bed.
He suddenly hesitated, 'Y-yeah, I saw you sneaking into his room once.'
Vanya nodded, feeling her cheeks hot again, 'I used to have nightmares and Five helped me sleep them off.'
Luther nodded, 'You don't have to explain anything to me.'
She almost argued that she did since he was giving her that look and making her feel like the guilty one, but she pushed it away. The lack of pills really affected her moods.
Vanya decided to just go to bed and not deal with this anymore.
She gave him a tight smile, 'I'm going to bed. You can stay if you want. I'll bring some pillows and a blanket.'
'Oh, you don't have to, I'll be fine,' he assured her and she nodded at him ready to leave before he stopped her, 'Do you...do you sometimes wonder how it would have ended if Five never left? If he just didn't jump to the future and stayed. If he...if he stayed,' he said and Vanya froze on the spot for a couple of moments. Those sort of thoughts used to haunt her as a child every night since Five disappeared.
'I used to, but...at some point I accepted that he did and right now, I'm just glad he's back. Thirteen year old or not, he's Five and he's back,' she said and nodded at her brother knowing that she didn't mean just Five.
She was definitely breaking some sister girl code, but for some reason she was feeling different that day. Maybe it was the new healthy lifestyle or lack of pills she still didn't refill, but Vanya found herself saying, 'Hey, for the record. If you find the courage to accept...all of it, she's still waiting for you. You still have a chance.'
As Luther's face was the one to grow red, Vanya pushed away a smirk and went to the bedroom, closing the door silently before she went to change and get ready for bed. She felt almost like she was vibrating with everything that happened that day until it all came back down to the apocalypse. The end of the world which was according to Five in a couple of days, and since she doubted his drinking was because of a celebration she felt even worse about it. Still, here behind closed doors with just Five and her without the shameful looks of Luther or hints from Allison she felt like she could finally breathe again.
'You're shaking,' mumbled Five after a few minutes that she laid in the bed not sure if he wasn't asleep.
She sighed realising she probably woke him up, 'I'm sorry.'
He moved closer to her this time it was his hand around hers, 'Did he tell you something upsetting?'
She leaned closer as well feeling his alcoholic breath on her face. It was disgusting, but at that moment, she didn't mind all that much. She was just glad Five was near her, close to her.
'The world ends in five days,' she said, feeling the air being sucked out of her for a moment as she let out those words for the first time to the real world.
She basically clung to him not caring if he smelled like alcohol, or that he was soaked and had puked not long ago. She just pressed herself as close as possible, tangling her limbs with his and trying not to think about how the world would look like, without a single person in it.
'I won't let it,' he said as he reached over and brushed a tear she didn't even know she let out. They could hear that it started to rain again.
'I-I know, but...I just didn't...I didn't actually realise it until today that...that...'
'It's alright. I figured. Maybe it was better. Now you're all shaken. I'm sorry,' he said, sounding genuine, and she shook her head before she pressed their foreheads together.
He was right, when she closed her eyes it was easy to pretend to still be thirteen and full of possibilities and chances that were just waiting for them to take.
'I promise to stop it, Vanya, whatever it takes,' he said, the words scaring her right to her core because she had no idea what whatever would be, and she prayed that she would never find out.
17 years ago
When she was done playing she packed her violin neatly into the case and hopped a bit on the bed sitting down beside him with their feet facing opposite cardinal directions. He was writing into that notebook of his again.
'Hey, what are you working on anyway?' she asked quietly while looking at her ceiling. She had a new crack there she didn't notice before. It kind of reminded her of a squirrel without an ear.
'I didn't tell you?' he sounded confused.
She looked over at him, seeing him upside down was kind of funny, 'No.'
'Oh, I want to time travel,' he said so calmly and casually, like he was just announcing to her that he would like some tea.
'What?' she asked surprised and he turned his face to look at her as well, 'I'm working on equations for time travelling.'
'You want to time travel?' she asked.
'I think there's an echo in here,' he mumbled, which earned him a pinch into the shoulder, 'Vanya!'
'But...where do you want to go? When do you want to go?' she asked and he shrugged his shoulders, 'I guess anywhere but here? I don't know yet. I don't even know how exactly. Dad is being an asshole about it, he won't let me practise or help me what so ever so it's taking forever.'
Five wasn't one to whine like a little child, but in that moment he sure sounded like he did.
Vanya watched his face, 'Will you come back?'
He blinked looking very confused, 'Back? You mean here?'
'Y-yeah.'
He chuckled and smirked, upside down it should have looked like he was sad, but with his eyes showing clear amusement it was impossible to think Five was sad, 'Of course, I'll come back. This is my house, my home.'
He leaned forward and touched a piece of her hair pulling it a bit between his fingers, 'Don't worry, I would never leave you behind. If I go somewhere, I will come back.'
She dared herself to smile without the benefit of her hair hiding it, 'Good. Because I will be waiting.'
I will always come back.
I will always be waiting.
A.N: Thank you all for the reviews and support. It made my day to know you all care for the story so much and support it. I'm thrilled to see what you have to say for this chapter.