All those boys lost in time, all those girls with tragic smiles Chapter 7, an umbrella academy fanfic

26 years ago

Four year old Number Five liked tests and games their father made for them. He liked how he could beat the rest of his siblings with his mind and how their father nodded at him looking satisfied and pleased about them. He was always excited for a new test wondering what would it be and if he would be so good at it. He knew Number One and Six liked to make their father happy a lot by doing well in the tests, but not him. He always felt strange about their father. He didn't think he liked him very much. He wondered if their father ever was happy with them or liked them. Somehow he didn't think so.

Today there was no running or jumping involved in a test. Pogo sat the little boy down in front of his father in his study. They rarely were allowed inside so Number Five wanted to look around as much as possible. He almost stood up, but Pogo shook his head briefly letting him know he wasn't allowed to.

'Number Five, do you like playing with your siblings?' asked their father suddenly.

Five smiled, 'Yes.'

'Do you like all your siblings?'

'Yes.'

'Who do you like the most?'

Five blinked before said, 'Nanny said we have to like all our siblings the same.'

His father did not look pleased with that response, he looked over at Pogo before he looked back at Number Five, 'Is there any one of your siblings you like to play the most with?'

'Oh,' he had to think about it. He liked playing tag with Number Two and Number Three and loved how Number Four could make them all laugh. Number One only spent time with Number Three and Number Six didn't talk much and liked to spent time only with Number Four.

'I like to play with Number Seven the most. She helps me protect the towers I build from Number Four and Number Two. And she laughs at my jokes, and she's nice. She doesn't make fun, when Number Four cries at night or when Number Two can't speak,' he shrugged his shoulders, 'I think I like Number Seven the most.'

His father wrote something down. Five often saw him watching them and then write something down into a notebook with what he later learned were his initials on it. Sometimes Number Five wondered if their father would tell him what he wrote, but he never did ask him.

Now

Five thought he must have hit his head a bit too hard from the fall if he thought his siblings would be in any way useless to him.

'Never mind, I will find her myself,' he said and went to the door. His side was feeling a bit better or maybe his determination was enough to hide the pain. He couldn't tell anymore.

'What?' asked Luther before Allison rushed after him, 'Wait, what's going on? You just appeared out of nowhere and now you have to find Vanya? What's going on?'

'What's going on? What's going on is that the world is about to end and the Commission gave direct orders to their field agents to separate Vanya and I at all costs,' he barked before he started to leave again, but Allison put her hand on his shoulder. It was hard to be an asshole to her sometimes. Especially when she was pass her rumor days.

'Why Vanya though?' asked Klaus before he made a grimace, 'it's not like anyone cares for her. Said with love,' he added as he saw the murderous look Five was giving him.

Five took a deep breath, 'I don't know, but nothing the Commission does is accidental. They want Vanya out of the picture so there has to be a reason.'

'You said, that you didn't find her in the future,' said Luther suddenly thinking, 'That we were all together minus Ben, but not Vanya,' he looked unsure, but he still spoke his mind, 'it could mean something.'

'What? That Vanya will magically stop an apocalypse?' asked Diego shaking his head looking unimpressed by the idea, 'You've been too long in space and you-,' he pointed at Five who immediately responded, 'And you need to shut up, Diego.'

His brother raised his brows, 'Alright, just because you got a soft spot for Vanya-'

'What exactly do you not understand about the end of the world, Diego? Your friend died as I recall so I would assume you could see how serious this was,' snapped Five knowing he was being cruel from the look of hate Number Two gave him, but he wouldn't budge. Not now. Not when maybe all he had to do was find Vanya to make the world continue. If it was true then it would be the greatest irony or joke of all times. The person he actually wanted to not be involved was the one who could stop the apocalypse.

He looked from Diego to his other siblings each of them quietly looking at him. He knew he sounded like a madman. Hell, he felt like one too. He just came from blowing up the Commission only to demand to be with Vanya. Maybe he had gone mad from all of what happened, but he still knew that he was right. There was an apocalypse coming, and the Commission wanted to separate him from the one person who made him happy in his whole miserable life which he couldn't allow. He just couldn't. He needed to find and be with Vanya.

He took a deep breath, 'Look, I've been in the future and it doesn't just suck. There's nothing just ashes, and rotting bodies and fire and destruction. Everyone you ever know and love will be dead if we don't stop it. If the Umbrella Academy doesn't stop it. I know…I know dad messed up, but we're not kids anymore. We can't blame our actions on dad. At some point the things we do, are on us. We can either let ourselves be ruled by what happened to us or fucking own our shit and live for once.'

His siblings remained silence for a moment sharing unsure looks before Allison asked, 'How do you know…that this time you can fix it? Save the world?'

'Because I'm here and I have a clue,' he pulled out the task which Dot wrote for Hazel and Cha-cha, 'I don't know what Vanya has to do with the apocalypse, but she wasn't with you guys when you died in the future, and that has to mean something,' he said hiding the desperation in his voice. It had to mean something. He was sure of it. This had to work and he had to save the world this time.

Allison watched him for a moment before she pulled out her phone and called someone. Five rolled his eyes before she pulled the phone away, 'Her phone is off.'

Five looked with gratitude at Allison, but the others still looked unsure, 'Which is why I need to find her.'

'Do you think Hazel and Cha-cha have her?' asked Luther, 'Unlikely, I took the report before it was sent, but I can never be too sure with the Commission,' said Five trying to hid his concern. He left yesterday. There was no telling what happened during the time he was gone, and it freaked him out. He had to find Vanya and make sure she was alright. Anything could have happened in twenty-four hours.

'Okay, wait,' said Diego suddenly causing all of them to look at him. He looked tore. Five could tell he wanted to believe him. He wanted to do right by his dead friend, but he was as stubborn as a bull, 'I still have her spare key somewhere at home-'

'Don't bother I changed the locks,' said Five, the look on Diego's face was priceless, and Five would have taken pleasure in his brother shock, but not now. Not right now.

'Maybe she's not picking up because she's at work. She has rehearsals a lot,' said Allison, and Five looked away. They were wasting time here.

'So we should split and go check her apartment, work place and a friend's house!'

'Vanya has friends?'

'Fine, you want to help?' barked Five before he pulled out the key he made when he changed Vanya's locks and threw it at Diego, 'Go to her apartment. I'm going to Icarus.'

'To where-?'

'The concert hall.'

'Oh~,' nodded Klaus but before he would say anything else, Five teleported to the door. He was wasting time. He had been wasting enough time already. He still had three days to stop the apocalypse and he was not letting a second go by without looking for Vanya.

He went to one of their father's cars right before the door opened and Luther and Allison waved at him. He didn't want them to come, but like he said before they needed to stop the apocalypse together and it was better this way. He still wasn't good with them. It had been decades since he was a team player and even in the Umbrella academy he was just too competitive to be around them. Maybe that was why he liked spending time with Vanya. He never saw her as competition, someone who needed to have read upside down, to know his weakness and use it against him in combat. That was what their father loved to do with them. Make them see each other as targets. It was never like that with Vanya. Whenever he looked at her he just…. he just saw her as Vanya. Shy, innocent and kindhearted Vanya.

He felt his side hurt again, but he ignored it telling himself it was just from the impact. He could worry about broken ribs and bones later right now he needed to find Vanya.

'Diego and Klaus will go check out her apartment,' said Luther, but Five only managed a short nod. He was too tense right now to talk with him. He wanted just to find Vanya and make sure she was alright. It was the only thing which was important in that moment enough to him. He still had three days to spot the apocalypse, but Vanya had to be found right away.

His mind drifted to their last car driver. He should have fucking hug her or say goodbye or something. He just vanished on her again. As usual. He felt a twisted pain like a knife inside his heart. Wasn't he just amazing? Here he was getting upset with each and every one of his siblings when they were doing wrong by Vanya, but what about him? He left her over and over again and didn't even look back. A couple of days ago in the van Vanya told him he was never a prick to her, she clearly didn't count the times he left her hanging like this into the statement.

He gripped the wheel tightly.

'Uh, Five, that was a red light,' said Luther, but he paid him little to no mind, before he asked, 'Did any of you talk to her since yesterday?'

'Not really she texted me yesterday that she got the part and if you two were alright,' said Allison, 'But I forgot to call her when Luther came back.'

Five almost let out a snarky remark, but he pushed it back. He was just upset about the Handler playing him so well and that he didn't know where Vanya was. It wasn't anyone's fault. Their siblings just weren't close with her like him, but it still caused him to be a bit upset with them. All of them including himself. Still, he felt a small silver lightening.

She got the part.

He pictured her happy and with her eyes dancing with joy and a big smile on her face knowing all that hard work finally paid off.

He stepped on gas.

'Five, slow down!'

26 years ago

It had been weeks. The others were almost starting to forget about her, but he didn't. Number Five was constantly looking at the door where their father and Number Seven had disappeared hopping that she would come back, but she still didn't.

'Is everything okay, dear?' asked their mom.

Dad said that she was the only one who would take care of them from now on. No more nannies who always looked so upset with them. They didn't like how Number One sometimes bended the spoon or caused a crack in the wall because he threw the ball too hard. They didn't like how Number Two sometimes stuttered which only made him shutter more. They hated when Number Three started her words with I heard a rumor… They didn't like Number Four's jokes or how he sometimes cried in the night because he said the scary people wouldn't let him sleep. They didn't like how he sometimes ended up in other rooms or places after he got that feeling like he someone was pushing him through the keyhole. They didn't like that Number Six sometimes refused to talk for the whole day. And they absolutely hated when Number Seven refused to eat and when things started to break afterwards.

Mom didn't look annoyed by any of those things. She was always smiling and looking out for them. She was nice.

'When will Number Seven come back?' he asked. He missed his playmate more and more every day.

Mom smiled at him softly, 'Number Seven isn't feeling well. She has to get better before she can come play with the rest of you.'

'But it's been so long. When will she come back?' he asked raising his voice a bit. It was so annoying. She didn't look sick before. She was her usual self and then their father took her away and she was just gone.

Mom sighed a bit before leaned closer to him, 'I promise that she will be back as soon as soon as she can, alright?'

He pounded and mom reached her hand toward him, 'I have an idea, hmm?'

He took it after a momentary hesitation and let her walk him back to the common room where there others were playing and talk.

Mom smiled brightly as she called, 'Children.'

Some looked up and some didn't until she said again louder, 'Now, now. I have something to tell you.'

Everyone looked up at her. Clearly he wasn't the only one who liked their new mom, 'As you know Number Seven is ill and can't come play with you all until she gets better. I was thinking we could cheer her up by drawing her some nice pictures which she can look at while she is...,' said mom making a long pause before she finished, 'away.'

'Oh, I could draw those flowers in the garden near the bench we like to sit at,' said Number Three all of the sudden starting a discussion of who will draw what meanwhile an argument started between Number One and Number Two who wanted to draw the same thing.

'What will you draw honey?' asked Mom looking down at Five with the same warm smile she always had.

He thought about it for a moment before he smiled back at her.

Now

Five stormed into the Concert Hall almost knocking over some man who was on his way out.

'We're looking for Vanya Hargreeves, is she here?' asked Five immediately to the woman at the main desk.

'I'm sorry, who?'

Five liked to think of himself as a very calm person, who knew that exploding like a maniac would not speed or help things right now, but this woman seriously got on his nerves.

'Vanya Hargreeves, don't act like you don't know her. I left a message for her a couple of days ago, and you tried the same thing!' he snapped at the woman.

Her eyes widened as she stared at Five not sure how to react, 'Uh, I'm sorry-shouldn't you be in school? It's a school day, young-'

'I dare you to tell me that I am a young man again,' he said slowly with venom in his voice which caused the woman to shut up immediately. She was unluckily enough to be the centre of Five's frustration about Vanya to finally come to some burst.

Five looked at the woman at the front desk angrily as she assumed he was a child. He almost told her what he really thought of her when all of the sudden Allison pushed passed him, 'I'm so sorry for my brother. We just wanted to see where our sister was. We're in town for a while and she made first chair. We're really excited and want to spend some time with her.'

Rumouring her way through Hollywood or not, Allison was a very good actress.

'Well, to be honest, we don't know where Ms. Hargreeves is. She should have come for practice this morning, but she never showed up and didn't call. That's not very like her. It's almost like there is a curse on the first chair,' said the woman jokingly.

Five frowned, 'What do you mean?'

The woman looked at him for a moment before she looked back at Allison who was giving her you know you want to gossip vibe, 'Well. Ms. Jones, who was the first chair the last three times hasn't showed up for work in almost two days now. It's odd. She's also a very responsible person. Frankly, even the police came asking for her just an hour ago. I think her parents reported her as missing.'

This caused a very bad feeling to appear inside Five's stomach. He already felt anxious, but now he felt actually worried. The previous first chair goes missing, and now Vanya who became the first chair after her doesn't answer her phone or come to work?

He felt Luther's gaze on him, but he didn't dare look at him, to show him any weakness of how he was really feeling in that moment, but he felt like he still couldn't hide it. Not with the way he felt he might crawl out of his skin in that moment.

What if Hazel and Cha-Cha did get the message and took her?

He felt his heart speed up with fear as he imagined Vanya being held somewhere by those two. Even if the order was not to be killed, he blew up the Commission. There was no telling what revenge plots they had in plan for him. The Handler knew who Vanya was...that they are the closest. If that bitch knew it, anyone could.

Five felt like he couldn't breathe properly again. He had to go out on fresh air.

'Give me your phone,' he said to Luther, who blinked confused, 'What?'

'YOUR PHONE!' he yelled at him startling the woman at the desk.

'What's his problem?' asked the woman at the desk as Luther pulled out his phone. Five felt like it took him forever.

'He's just a big fan of Vanya's,' said Allison trying to smooth the situation.

Five almost ripped the phone from Number One's hands as he went through the contacts looking for Diego's number. He needed to talk to them. He needed to hear that they found Vanya safe inside her apartment practising and forgetting the time and not knowing her phone battery died...just something logical and ordinary and safe which would explain why she wasn't answering or why she wasn't at work. He freaking needed her to be safe or he would lose it.

'Oh another one. Ms. Vanya sure is popular,' said the woman with a hint inside her voice and Five stopped with his finger one inch from dialling Diego's phone.

'What did you just say?' he asked.

'That Ms. Vanya is popular,' said the woman now looking worried like she offended the three or said too much, but Five shook his head and stepped closer, 'Before...you said another one. Is there someone else?'

The woman looked at Five opening and closing her mouth a couple of times, 'Well...I suppose...there is this man...'

'What man?' asked Five feeling all his murderous cold blooded intentions returning to him as well as the uneasy feeling inside his stomach that something horrible was about to happen.

'Well, he comes here a lot, and often stays in the back seats listening to Vanya's practice. He has been coming here for a couple of months now really. I saw them talking a couple of times lately outside of the building,' explained the woman.

'Did he ever come to listen to Ms. Jones?' asked Five feeling like he was going to lose his shit as the wheels inside his head were working already coming to a conclusion.

'No, but... I think I saw him talk to her once as well,' said the woman blinked surprised, 'Strange, I assumed he liked Vanya-'

'How did this guy look like?' asked Five cutting her off.

'Not too tall, maybe my height. Dark eyes, black hair, not too fat or skinny, and very-'

'Happy looking?' asked Five feeling disgusted all of the sudden, 'Like every day was a freaking miracle?' he asked pushing the ugly grin on his face.

Leonard

'Yes,' said the woman looking at him like he lost his mind, which he might as well had.

'So he came to watch Vanya play for months now?'

'Well, yes, I think the first time I noticed him was two months ago,' said the woman before she looked at Allison, 'You don't think he has something to do-'

Five was out of the earshot before she could finish. He immediately dialled Diego's phone number.

'She's avoiding him. They were supposed to start a relationship, but it's obvious she's not interested in him. She even threw away the flowers.'

His blood ran cold as he remembered what Dot said to the Handler.

'Hey, she's not home-'

'Do you see flowers anywhere?' asked Five without a greeting.

'What?' asked Number Two confused.

'Flowers. Do you see flowers a bouquet or something anywhere?' he asked and he heard Diego mumbling something like Five has gone insane.

'JUST LOOK FOR FLOWERS, YOU IDIOT!' he shouted at the asshole over the phone.

He knew he was right. He just knew it. Leonard or whatever the hell his name was stalking Vanya before he showed up at her apartment four days ago for violin class. He just knew it! He was just an idiot. He knew something was off with that guy. He could feel it in the bones, that the smiles and kind words were not sincere. He wished he was wrong. He wished Leonard was the good guy who would be worthy of Vanya, but he wasn't! He was a freaking stalker and if he hurt her... If he really hurt Vanya he will fucking rip him to shreds. He would find him and make him bleed out hour after hour until he would beg Five to kill him.

His hand on the phone shook as he heard Diego and Klaus talking and searching the apartment.

Please, Vanya, just be okay. Be somewhere safe and just be okay. Fuck be anywhere, but be safe.

In that moment, he didn't give a fuck about the apocalypse. Ironic, his life mission to stop it and he would gladly give it all away. He would personally help the Commission set the world on fire if it meant he would find Vanya safe and okay.

The force of his own fear and emotions knocked the air out of him. His brothers and sister often called him cold-hearted and calculative. It was true. He was a pragmatist. He knew right from wrong and although he was not a fun of violence for pleasure, he understood why it was necessary sometimes. He understood how one life couldn't be more important than the lives of countless people on the world. The pragmatist inside him knew this, but all of that went out of the window when Vanya was that one life. He might be a cold-hearted son of a bitch who would shot an old lady or a kid to do what needed to be done, but when it came to Vanya? He was as soft as cotton candy.

'There are some flowers in the trashcan,' said Diego suddenly and Five nodded even though he knew Diego couldn't see him.

'Ask him about the mannequin,' he heard Klaus in the background, 'Is she like their lovechild or something? She even changed her clothes.'

'Vanya should have a notebook somewhere with the list of all her students. Find it and look for the name Leonard on it,' said Five surprised how firm and unshaken his voice was considering how much he felt like breaking down and falling apart. But he knew he couldn't. Vanya needed him now more than ever. He left and let her down too many times, to do it again.

He ended the call just as Allison and Luther stepped closer, 'Leonard? The creep who was in her apartment when she wasn't home?'

Five looked at her shocked by the new information, 'He was there when she was out?'

Allison hugged her coat tighter around her, 'Yes, he came to return her keys and said he needed to use the bathroom. I went over to see her and the door was opened.'

Five barely contained his anger now, 'Did you see what he was doing?'

'He was inside her living bedroom. I don't know what he was doing,' she said slowly like she wasn't sure if Five wouldn't explode. He was close to it. This fucker, was inside Vanya's apartment, her freaking bedroom? He felt disgusted.

The phone rang again and he picked up, 'Okay, we have his name, Leonard Peabody, and there is a phone number.'

'Don't call it. We need his address,' said Five immediately.

'Maybe a buddy of mine in precinct can hook us up if I ask nicely,' said Diego before he went a bit quiet. They agreed to meet there.

Five gave Luther his phone before he went to the car again. He felt his side hurting more now.

'Five, you alright?' asked Allison, 'You're limping.'

'I'm fine, let's just go,' he lied. In fact his side was getting worse, but that didn't matter the only thing which mattered now was Vanya. He needed to find her safe and sound, or he would lose his mind. He pushed his palm against his side trying to ease the pain by burning it up a bit. He needed to hold on just a little bit longer for Vanya. He felt like he was being clawed by a tiger, but he couldn't care less.

He let Allison drive as he pressed himself against the window trying to ease the pressure on the hurt side.

He just had to hold up a bit until Vanya was home and safe, until she was with him again.

When he closed his eyes he could see that perfect small smile of hers which she always tried to hid behind her hair.

He told Allison to step on it.

They met with Klaus and Diego in the police station where he came back with a small tugged paper.

'His address,' said Diego looking a bit worried back at the station.

'What's wrong?' asked Allison noticing as well.

Diego's answers were shifty as always. Something was up, but Five couldn't get into it right now.

Five held onto his side.

'Alright, enough, what's wrong with you?' asked Luther suddenly putting his hand on Five's shoulder. He jerked away from it and gritted through his teeth, 'I'm fine.'

Klaus stepped closer watching him with a small frown.

'We have to go find that freak,' said Five sounding almost desperate. They needed to find Vanya. Nothing else was important right now why couldn't they get it into their heads? She could be the key to stopping the apocalypse...she...she was just Vanya!

Before he had time to push him away because of the pain his reflexes were a bit slower, Klaus lifted his clothing nearly tearing a bit his jacket.

'Five, you're bleeding!' said Allison startled.

'It's nothing,' he said and closed his eyes pushing Klaus away. He figured he must have been shot by the Handler or scratched during the explosion, but he couldn't really dwell on it now.

'We have to get you home and fix it-'

'When will you listen already?' he snapped at them, 'The only place I'm going is that fucker's house to find Vanya.'

Allison looked upset. The kind of upset she usually become right before she would rumour you. At least that was what she would have done when she was a kid.

Instead, however, he saw her look behind him at Luther, 'Do it.'

If his reflexes weren't slow because of the injury he would have teleported in a second, but they were and before he had time to duck, he felt a sharp pain hit him over the head.

Fucking siblings!

26 years ago

Grace picked all of their drawings the next day and went to show them to their father. Five waited a few extra moments to see if she would come back with them or not. She returned empty handed urging them to dinner.

Their father came to dinner shortly. He didn't say anything about the drawings, but he almost never talked during dinner. He didn't like it when they spoke if they were eating with him. They usually had an old record playing in the background.

Number Five kept on stealing glances at the empty spot next to him wondering how much longer would Number Seven be ill and when would she come back.

They had to wait for their father before they were allowed to leave the table. It was something Five never really liked. Waiting for someone else was so dull and boring. He could have left the table five times before the old man finally got up.

He watched as he did so and then asked Number Three to finish her food and come with him.

Number Five waited for a bit before he sneaked into his office. It was easier with the others not around and their father somewhere off with Three.

Inside the office he spotted all their drawings inside the trashcan. He didn't even try to cover them the way Four did Seven's uneaten dinner.

He left the room not telling anyone about what happened.

Now

Five woke up slowly. It took him almost thirty seconds for his memories to come back to him. He was inside his old room. He recognized the writings on his walls. For a moment, he thought he actually was thirteen and Reginald forced him not to sleep with Vanya anymore-

Vanya!

He sat up cursing as the pain from his side hit him hard. He remembered everything now.

'Careful, dear,' said mom from the doorway, 'wouldn't want to rip your stitches open.'

He took in a sharp breath before he stood up.

'I will kill him! Luther, fucking asshole!' he teleported over Grace to the hallway where he found Luther with his arms raised in defense, 'I know that was a shitty thing to do but you were bleeding and -'

Five teleported, jumped and punched him. He didn't have the patience or energy for excuses right now. Not after what they did.

'Damn it, Five,' groaned Luther he put his hand over his nose, 'We found her, alright? We found Vanya. She's alive-'

'Where?'

'In his hous-'

'No,' he cut him off ready to stab Number One with his slow responds, 'Where is she now?'

'In the lounge, but Five-'

He teleported before he could finish to the lounge where he froze in place.

Vanya was sitting on the couch with Klaus and Allison by either of her sides and Diego in front of her. It felt like forever since he made the exact seven steps toward her.

She had the emptiest expression he had ever seen on her. His mind drifted to a very distant memory of her when she was four years old and all of the sudden came back after being away from them. She had blank stares then as well.

He looked over at Diego who was carefully working on opening a broken handcuff on her wrist with a pin.

He couldn't speak. He wanted to ask if she was okay, and what happened and if she was hurt and if that bastard was still alive so he could find him beat him senselessly, cut him into small pieces and then demolish those pieces. He wanted to ask a million of things, but upon seeing her actually there and with blood on her face, and barefoot (where the fuck were her shoes?) and with a handcuff on her wrist and just so…so shaken, he couldn't utter a single word.

'Five?' asked Allison looking at him before she stood up and walked to him, 'She's fine. The blood it's not hers. Come on, let's go talk a bit.'

No, no, no, please don't make me leave her. I don't want to leave her. Please don't make me!

He let Allison's hand on his back guide him away from Vanya who looked like she didn't even notice what was going on around her.

He kept his eyes on her as Allison explained, 'They found her on the way to his house. She must have fought him and just got into a shock. She took her violin and barefoot walked out of the house. Can you imagine?'

'What about him?' he asked finally finding his voice although he wasn't sure it was his voice. It sounded so fucking small. He couldn't remember his voice ever being this small. All because of her…being hurt like this.

'Dead, she must have fought him and killed him in self-defense,' said Allison.

Kill him…no, that was not killing. That was justice. That was pure justice, an act of kindness in Five's mind, because if it was up to him that fucker would have been alive for a very long time regretting the moment his eyes ever landed on Vanya.

He nodded slowly before he finally tore his eyes away from Vanya as Klaus brushed her hair, 'Is that the pills or shock?'

'I think it's shock.'

'Did she say something?' he asked and Allison let out a humorless chuckle which was mostly just from the desperation of the situation, 'Yeah, she said she needs to go to work. Can you imagine? She gets handcuffed in a basement and stabs a guy and the first thing she wants is to go to work?'

'Her mind was trying to separate itself from what happened,' he said. It made sense. For Vanya violence wasn't a given as it was for them, at least not physical violence. They learned from early age about the usage of their strength and the damage it could cause. They were ''cheered'' by their father to use more brutal force then their opponent to defend themselves. Vanya wasn't. Five doubted she ever even witnessed the amount of blood which was on her face now. She wasn't trained to be able to kill someone, hurt someone, break someone like they were.

'We have yet to decide what to do about the body, the house? There has to be evidence all over the place that Vanya was there. If the police get involved-'

'Fuck the police,' said Five and looked over at Vanya again. Diego got rid of the handcuffs and offered her some scotch, but she still kept on looking in front of her like a lifeless doll. It caused him to feel like he was a kid again and Vanya first came back after she was away for so long. It made him feel like he was thirteen again and Hargreeves doubled her dosage turning her into a zombie. It made him feel useless and helpless which was something he never felt before. Number Five, the man with the plan, had freaking no idea what to in that moment or how to help Vanya, and that scared the living day out of him. Ha, funny. Fear was something he let go a very long time ago. Fear was something he couldn't properly deal with while he was in the future where he needed to carry on, live on, survive. Fear was something he did not consider when playing mind games and word plays with the Handler and the Commission, he couldn't show them weakness. Fear was something he only let creep into his heart when he woke up in the middle of the night to see Vanya's face close to his as she slept next to him. It was then the first time he let himself feel fear. He feared for her safety if he couldn't manage to stop the apocalypse and she would be…gone with the rest of the world. Fear was something which hit like a rock the moment he saw the blood on her forehead after Hazel and Cha-Cha broke in. Fear was what caused him to feel like he couldn't move when he realize he left Vanya alone which was exactly what the Commission wanted. Fear was a every fucking terrifying scenario which ran through his mind as he thought where the hell was she and what was happening to her. Fear was something which made him feel useless and worthless not knowing how to approach her now or how to make her feel better. How to get her to react or just fucking not look so broken…

'Five, there is a chance that Peabody hurt other women. If we just cover it up all those families will be left without any idea what happened-'

'Look, Allison, I think it's admirable you're trying to get your act together and be voice of the people, but if you failed to notice Vanya should be your number one priority. I don't care if I have to burn the house and that deadbeat's body down. If Vanya doesn't want to get involved with police, I will do it,' he told her coldly before he returned his gaze back to Vanya.

'Well, alright…for now,' said the woman unsure before she sighed, 'She hasn't been able to say anything since they brought her. Maybe you could get through to her?'

Five watched as Vanya let Klaus try to wipe the blood from her cheek with a paper towel. She looked lifeless.

His mind drifted back to the dream he had the first night he came back. He dreamed of finding Vanya's body in the future lifeless like the rest of his siblings. He cradled her head screaming for her to wake up. Suddenly he felt his chest tightening again. He was forgetting how to breathe with the smell of the ash all around him.

'Five?'

'I need to think…'

'What? But you almost went nuts when you couldn't' find her. Go hug her or something,' urged him Number Three.

'I need to think,' he said more firmly before he teleported back to his room and shut the door not sure if Luther was still out there or not.

He suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe again. Five pressed his palms against his door before he kneeled down his head against it as well. How does one breathe? How do people do it? It should be the easiest thing in the world, but Five couldn't breathe.

He closed his eyes. He could smell the ash again. It was all around him in the air burning up his lungs. He could see his siblings and then between them, there she was on the ground facing the sky.

He smashed his head against the door hoping to knock the image out of his mind.

No! NO! NO! NOT HER!

'You think it's with her?' the Handler's hideously mocking voice sounded in his head.

You think you belong with her?

'Fuck you,' he said to the imaginary woman in his head. He swore he heard her laugh.

26 years ago

Number Seven came back different. She looked very sad and he tried to cheer her up she wouldn't even smile. She didn't eat much, but Mom didn't look too alarmed by it and simple told her that she should go to rest. In her little room she just laid in bed looking at the ceiling.

Number Five didn't understand why was she so sad and boring all of the sudden. She didn't even speak with them anymore just sat in her room, or laid on the bed or stared at her plate.

He tried to pull her hair once to get a reaction, but she looked right passed him before she walked back to her room. He missed the old Number Seven who would laugh at his grimaces and built towers with him and share a cookie with him sometimes.

He wasn't entirely sure how it happened, but by the time their father told them that Seven was too ill to play with them or spent too much time with them, they already did not spent time with her, and even when she started to eat a bit more and talk she wasn't...she wasn't the Seven which went with father through the special door. She was Seven, but different. Slowly even Five stopped playing with his sibling. Games like tag and others started to feel childish. He still liked the tests, but not so much the boring games.

Time went by and he sometimes caught Seven looking at him. She spoke more and was more alive than before, but they didn't build towers anymore or made faces at each other at mealtime. Their father made it clear Number Seven wasn't allowed to play or spent time with them even if they wanted her to. They usually didn't. She was either too sick or too different. If you spent enough time being treated like you don't belong and like you are less than anyone else, you start to act like it, and people will only see you the way you see yourself.

Years went by.

He wasn't sure why but during one particular moment when their father told Seven she wasn't allowed to go to the gym with them that day, Five just thought...why not? Why can't she just be with them? Play with them? She doesn't have to have powers to be with them. To be a part of their family.

Twelve year old Number Five tugged at Number Seven's sleeve during study time when she was sitting next to him.

'Hey, do you want to go on a little adventure?'

Now

Five finally felt like he caught his breath again. Breathing was easy. It was breathing. He just needed to remember that and he will be okay. At least that was what he told himself feeling that he had sweat through his pajamas.

He turned around, with his back pressed against the door. Memories are sometimes like bullets. Some just whiz by and only spook you, but others tear you open with their power and leave you in pieces.

He pressed his hand against his chest trying to calm his wild heart. He almost lost it. He remembered now. He remembered how their father constantly pushed Vanya away from them.

Number Seven is not like the rest of you. She is of no use to the Umbrella Academy. She cannot take part in the training. She's just ordinary.

Five let out a desperate chuckle and put his head into his hands. He was an idiot. Hargreeves used the word ordinary like it was a disease or plague. Something to be avoided at all cost. He made them feel like they couldn't be around her. He almost forgot how he told him once that he liked her the most. That was back when they were just little kids before she was taken away, before she was numbed down with the pills. He barely remembered her then, but he knew that she often build towers with him and helped him protect them from Diego and Luther. He remembered how he wanted to play with her, but the pills made her so passive she barely moved or spoke, and after a while he just let her be. He let her down because seeing her like that was something he couldn't understand or deal with at the time, and apparently not even now.

'I'm a cowardly piece of shit,' he told himself before he got up and walked out of the door ready to see her, to be with her, to do it right. If she needed time to get over what happen, he would sit next to her and wait not running away because it was too hard to look at. Not running away because he felt like someone was butchering his heart out when he saw her sitting there on the couch like that. Because he knew that if someone would take a pipe wrapped in a wire and hit him over and over into the head it would hurt far less than watching Vanya sit on that couch like that. Hilarious. Here he was thinking how great and strong he was ready to beat the shitbag who hurt her, but showing her comfort when she couldn't deal with something herself was proving to be too much for him? He felt like a joke.

He almost crashed into Klaus who looked at him with wide eyes.

'Grace put her to bed,' said Klaus and pointed to the direction of Vanya's room. Five didn't ask how he knew that he wanted to go to Vanya.

'It's okay, it's hard to see the person you love hurt…if fucking kills you inside…,' said Klaus surprising him a bit with how he spoke, like he was having internal dialogues with himself about saying that.

'Yeah,' admitted Five shortly before looking away. It was all he could say out. He wasn't… he couldn't say it. Not yet anyway. Not now. Not to Klaus or any of his siblings. He just couldn't deal with their looks and whatever they would have to say about it. He wanted nothing more than to be in Vanya's apartment again, in the bed next to her forgetting about the rest of the world. Just the two of them without the pressure of the world crashing down to them literally.

'For what is worth, Vanya's pretty lucky,' continued his brother.

Five looked up at him with determination, 'She fought her stalker. That's not luck. That's strength.'

Klaus smirked a bit before he shook his head, 'Not that. I mean you. She's lucky to have you. If it wasn't for you, I don't know what we would be doing. I would probably be getting high somewhere right about now. She's lucky to have someone like you urging us to look for her. Otherwise we wouldn't even know she was missing.'

Five felt his whole body froze with the painful coldness and possibility of Klaus's words. If he didn't urge them, they wouldn't even look for her. Vanya would be walking around the city barefoot with blood until someone would find her and call the cops. Their siblings wouldn't even notice she was missing. What a terrible family they were to her…

'She has a family-'

'Yeah, a shitty one which made her feel like a piece of shit with daddy dearest as our leading man,' said Klaus before he shook his head, 'I was kidnapped by Hazel and Cha-cha and no one even noticed,' he said and Five's frown softened a bit as he realized that it was true.

'Klaus-'

'Water under the bridge,' said Klaus and wave his hand, 'But it's that lovely experience by which I know, Vanya, in fact, is very lucky to have someone who would literally rather bleed to death, than stop looking for her,' he gave him the softest smile Five ever saw on him. He didn't know Klaus had gone sappy as well.

'Anyway, what's up with the mannequin in Vanya's apartment?'

'Her name is Dolores,' said Five feeling that he needed to correct him as well as change the subject from him and Vanya, but he wasn't planning to explain further.

'Well, she's a catch. What's her deal? She's single?' he asked. Apparently the bonding moment was over, 'Jesus, you're weird-'

'What? Since you and Vanya are hitting it off so nicely can't you spare some love on your siblings?'

Five shook his head not even sure how to respond and not feeling like he wanted to. 'Just knock it off.'

Klaus chuckled looking delightful, 'Please, don't tell me you can't see it?'

'See what?' he asked feeling suddenly tired. Talking to Klaus was exhausting at times.

Klaus watched him for a moment before he let out a chuckle. 'You…whoa…nothing? Really? I mean you're like the smartest of all of us well after me of course-'

'-of course,' cut in Five sarcastically.

'-but…really? You don't see it?' asked Klaus and looked to the side grinning like an idiot.

'See what?!' asked Five again a bit more sharply this time.

Klaus gave him the calmest smile ever imaginable, 'That you love her,' he said like it was the most obvious thing on the world even adding a little duhsound at the end.

Five started at him for a moment before he said with the most neutral face he could possibly make, 'Of course, l-of course, I do…she's Vanya.'

Klaus laughed, 'Whoa, you can say fuck, but the l-word gets your panties in a twist? This sounds promising. Maybe you want to dig a bit into your whole not-able-to-give-and-accept-love issues?'

'No, thanks, doctor Freud,' said Five and went to his room, 'Good night-'

'Wait,' Klaus blocked his door with his arm, 'You seriously don't see it? Dude, you're like…gosh, I don't know head over hills in love with her.'

'Klaus, it's late and I want to sleep-'

'Bullshit, you want to see her,' said Klaus not letting him close the door. Five wanted him to leave. He couldn't and wouldn't deal or talk with him about this nonsense. He wanted to go see Vanya and he didn't want to deal with whatever new fantasy Klaus put into his delusional mind.

'Klaus!'

'Fine,' he said and let go of the door, 'but think about this. Any time you are talking about Vanya you never call her your sister. You always say she's Vanya or she's family. You call the rest of us brothers and sister but not her. You even say your siblings as if you admit you and her have siblings but never call her your sister. You can say she's mine, or Diego's or anyone's sister, but not yours. Ever thought about that?'

Five opened his mouth to protest, but just like that he couldn't remember the last time he called Vanya…that.

'Good Night, Klaus,' he said finally slamming the door shut in Klaus victorious looking face.

It seriously was the end of the world, if Klaus was playing the smart one around here.

Five looked at his bed.

No, that won't do.

He teleported to Vanya's room only to catch her running out of her room to the hallway. He blinked rushing after her as she stopped in the bathroom. He heard her throw up. He noticed how Allison tried to go to her, but he beat her to it.

She was by the toilet throwing up and coughing. He was by her side in an instance pulling her hair aside with his fingers stroking it a bit.

Vanya didn't hesitate before she pressed herself against his chest and shoulder melting against him probably from exhaustion of all which happened.

'It's okay, it's fine. You did good,' Five whispered into her ear. It was true. Vanya never had the training he and the others had, yet she managed to stand her ground with her kidnapper. She did very good. He felt utterly proud.

She managed a small nod before she turned around and hid her face into his shoulder and neck like it was the most ordinary thing in the world for them. It felt like it was. It felt like this was right. This is where she belonged, in his arms.

He pulled her into an embrace not caring that she didn't even brush her mouth after she threw up. He just needed her close. He needed to hold her to know she was really there with him, in his arms, safe to finally calm the terrible stomach pain he felt all day not knowing where she was and worried sick wondering of what happened to her.

'You're here,' she mumbled against his pyjama shirt, and he felt like laughing because the only thing on his mind in that moment was that she was the one who was there.

'I'm here,' he said brushing her back softly trying to give her as much comfort as he did himself.

He took a deep breath before he spoke his voice filled with all the worries of that day, of those eight day, of those four decades since he first got stuck, 'I'm sorry I left, I will never leave you again like that.'

'It's my fault,' she said her voice so small, he just held her closer, 'I shouldn't have gone to his house. I just wanted my pills back...he said he was gay,' she chuckled a bit shaking her head against him. He closed his eyes taking in a deep breath once again wishing Peabody was alive so he could destroy him.

'It doesn't matter now. You did well. You survived and you made him pay. You did well, Vanya,' he said and found himself kissing her hair feeling all the familiar shampoo. It was the same one they used since they were kids, the one which Five was drown in every time he used to wake up next to her with his hair all over his face almost choking him. Still, until five days ago he would still have given up everything to feel her hair on his face again knowing she was there.

'Five-I don't know what happened,' she mumbled and he shook his head gripping her hair a bit tightly to push her even closer like he couldn't get enough of her, like he needed her closer and closer, 'It doesn't matter. You just did what you had to survive. Let's get you off the floor to the bed, okay? I will stay with you.'

He vowed to himself that the next time he would leave her someone would have to be tearing him limb by limb away from her.

He helped her up and led her back to the room, supporting her back. She felt so light. He was almost sure he could lift her up just as easily.

Allison who was still in the hallway touched her arm on the way, and he spotted Luther watching them close at the end of the hallway, but he shot him an angry look daring him to come closer. He got her inside and helped her to bed. Her old room was the same as it used to be when he came to focus and listen to her play and when he came to sleep next to her. It even felt the same, cold, small and almost claustrophobic, but with Vanya there it was the most beautiful and happiest place on earth for Five.

As they laid down, he felt all the weight of the world fall off his shoulders. This was where he wanted to be the whole time he was with the Commission and the whole time he couldn't find her. This was where he belonged. In a small bed, with them being pressed against each other as close as possible, with Vanya's soft breathing on his face and her arm under his. This was the only place it ever made sense. With her in a tiny bed.

He wished right then and there, that he never had left. He wished he could take it all back. He always regretted what happened, but he was too proud to actual accept his blame. He just...he was too prideful for it, until now. Now, he felt it all finally reach him. It wasn't his father, or the Commission or anyone else, just him. He was the one who ran out of the house, he was the one who teleported. He was the one who got stuck and left Vanya alone for seventeen years and he was the one who kept on leaving her over and over again.

He let his fingers into her hair. He always liked her hair, it was so heavy like waves, like someone could get lost in it, drown in it. He wanted to be drown in it.

'I kicked him into the knee like you told me to,' she whispered, but in the silence of the room it felt so loud.

Five felt like he could almost smile. Almost. For the first time that day actually.

'Good girl...,' he said feeling incredibly proud for what she did. How she fought. He wished she knew that what she did was amazing and brave and he adored her even more for it, 'you should rest now.'

'Why are you in your pyjamas?' she asked suddenly and he lied quickly, 'Because it's time to sleep.'

Technically it wasn't a lie. It was time to sleep, but the fact that he was in pyjamas was because of his injures more than the fact that he should go to sleep.

'I was so...so scared,' she said her voice so small.

'I thought that I was going to die. I thought that that was the reason why you didn't find me in the future with the others-'

His heart broke for her, right then and there. Funny he didn't even know he had one to begin with, but when it came to her, he felt like he had all these feelings and emotions he tried too hard to burry and convince everyone he didn't possess at all. But when it came to Vanya it was like she was bringing all those emotions and feelings back to life.

'Because I already died in his house three days before and you did not find yourself because you left and-'

'I'm sorry,' he said cutting off her speech as she started to cry again. He cursed him and that dead fucker for causing this to her. He hated when she cried. She rarely did, but when she did he freaking hated it so much.

Before he even knew what he was doing he leaned closer and pressed a possessive kiss against her throat. He couldn't find the urge to not do that. He felt like he needed to get as close to her as possible and make her...or show her...just touch her differently. Just do something differently with her. He wasn't sure what that something was but the kiss to her throat seemed to satisfy that urge for now.

Someone did this to her. Someone made her feel like this and caused her this trauma and pain and he couldn't even fucking hurt that bastard because he was dead.

He felt a shiver run through her. He knew it was probably odd to kiss her like that. Apart from that one kiss when they were kids and his drunk move on her, he was never this affectionate to her. He hoped she didn't think this was because of what happened and that he would treat her different now. It was and he would, but not in a way that he pitied her, but in a way that he cared for her dearly and wanted her to feel his lo-care.

He stroked her hair again feeling his face warming up.

No, it wasn't odd. It didn't feel odd to kiss Vanya. It never felt odd to kiss her or show affection toward her. He felt embarrassed. He felt awkward if others were there to witness it or point out, but never because of the act itself. Even the strange tightness in his stomach was actually kind of nice once he got ever it.

He pushed the annoying voice in his head which sounded too much like Klaus's to the darkest corner of his mind almost locking it completely, but leaving a small crack in the door for him to think about what it meant later.

'It won't happen again. I won't leave you again, alright?' he asked and he stroked her arm under the blanket, 'This time I will stay with you and stop the apocalypse.'

If today proved him anything then it was that the apocalypse could be stopped, things could be changed. He was here and so was Vanya and that had to mean something. He had to spot the apocalypse. He just had to.

'Of course you wouldn't...you're afraid I would set your books on fire,' she said with a hint of a joke, and he chuckled for the first time that day. It felt good. He felt himself relaxing a bit more in the bed with her knowing she was really there.

'I almost forgot about that, but yes, I wouldn't want them to burn because of our little deal,' he said before silence fell over them again. He remembered the deal he made with her. He told her that if he left and never came back she could set his books on fire. It was a trick on his side. How would she know he would never come back? He could always show up out of nowhere, so she couldn't do it.

'He said he had dad's journal,' she whispered silently almost losing her battle with sleep little by little.

This puzzled him, 'What?'

How did that monster managed to get his hands on the journal?

'He said he had it...he showed it to me. I think it was really dad's,' she said and yawned a bit.

She had been through a lot today. She needed to rest, 'Don't worry about it tonight. We have a whole day tomorrow to figure that out.'

'Alright,' she yawned again a bit. All of this damage done to her. Her body, her soul and mind. All of which could have been so easily avoided if only he didn't walk right ahead into the trap made by the Commission.

She heard him let out a frustrated noise before he said, 'I...Vanya, I'm so sorry you had to go through that all alone. I-I should have stayed and been there with you,' he said feeling like the worst scum under the sun. He should have kept her safe. He should have found her sooner, he should have killed the man the first time he saw the way he smiled at Vanya.

Five got lost in his spiral of guilt and anger when he felt Vanya's fingers stroke his cheek a bit so tenderly it caused his stomach to flip again.

Did she always have this effect on him? This calming touch which made him also feel some kind of nervousness inside him, he didn't quite understand. He didn't quite allow himself to understand?

'You were,' came the sound of her voice breaking through his mind analyses.

'What?' he asked confused.

She giggled and he momentarily jerked his head stopping his stroking of her hair before he continued. That sound got to him every damn time. How was it fair that she had such an adorable giggle which startled him with its cuteness? How? He tried to push down the blush and the feeling in his stomach.

'You were this annoying voice in my head telling me not to give up and how to use what I could to get out. In a way,' she stopped her hand on his cheek, 'You were there with me.'

Five was silent after that felling like she hit him over the head with something heavy. He couldn't function. He literally felt like he couldn't function after that. She...she had him there with her as support. Him.

As ridiculous and if anyone would have asked or suggested it he would freaking lie his ass off, but in true, it made him oddly pleased.

He shifted closer to her, 'Good...,' his voice smaller than usual again, 'I'm glad you weren't alone.'

'Five?'

'Yes, Vanya?'

'If you must leave-'

'-I told you I won't ever-'

'-don't ever leave without a goodbye,' she finished and snuggled even closer to him.

He sighed, 'I won't leave you.' It looked like he would have to prove himself to her...and himself that he could hold up to his promises.

'Just don't do it without a goodbye,' her voice broke a bit at the end as she was close to falling asleep. He watched her face in the dark of the room. He wouldn't leave her. Never. He just wouldn't.

'Alright, Vanya, I promise I won't,' he told her as he continued to stoke her hair long after she fell asleep and long after he heard their siblings go to their childhood rooms.

He stroked her hair breathing her in and convincing his mind that she was here, in the bed, in his arms, safe and sound.

Five felt like hours had passed, but he still couldn't fall asleep. He kept on looking at Vanya trying to let the feeling sink in.

She's here. She's safe. She's in your arms.

It was strange, but only in the dead of the night, when Vanya was long asleep did he had the courage to voice what he felt the whole time she was missing.

'If...if something happened to you, I think...I know would have lost my mind and I'm pretty sure I would die,' he whispered to her, 'I...I don't know, but I was never afraid, not like today at least. In the future, I know what I had to do to survive and also with the Commission, but today with you? Not knowing where you were and then not knowing how to help you when you were so shaken, I just felt...I felt so scared like I couldn't breathe,' he said, 'If...if anything happened to you, I would...I would have lost it, Vanya,' he said knowing he was speaking the truth. He could feel it from his heart.

He leaned closer to her and kissed her cheek in a kiss which lasted a couple of moments.

When he felt her hand find his cheek again, his heart speeded up, 'I'm okay.'

She wasn't asleep.

Shit

'Sorry if I woke you,' he said and Vanya shook her head a bit, 'No, it's fine. I'm a bit thirsty.'

'I will get you a glass-'

'No, you don't have to,' she started her voice a bit louder and panicked like she didn't want to be a bother as usual or maybe she wanted them to talk about what he just said. Either way, he had to go.

Five shook his head and untangled his limbs from hers, 'I'll be right back...'

He stopped himself as he realized that once again he was leaving. Only to go to the kitchen but still.

She seemed to be reading his mind because she chuckled, 'I don't think it counts if it's under five minutes or less.'

Five barked out a laugh before he took her hand and squeezed it, 'Five minutes or less.'

He teleported from her hold to the kitchen and then back with the glass of water for her. She drank it at one go.

'Careful. Your stomach could still be upset,' he said as she handed him the cup and he put it on the desk.

'Afraid I will get creative with your PJs?' she joked and he smiled. Joking was good. Anything which wasn't filled with sadness and trauma was good.

'Yeah, well, it's my last one here.'

He lied back down immediately snuggling closer to her as she did to him touching each other.

'Right, you brought like a whole wardrobe to my place.'

'Well, you told me to act like home-'

'You changed my locks,' she giggled and once again he felt that tightness in his stomach as it flipped from that incredible sound. This time he didn't flinch at it, just smiled caringly.

'I want you safe,' he said as a matter of fact and sensed that the joking mood was being slowly pushed aside again.

'You can go to sleep now too,' she said suddenly, 'I'm really here now.'

Five was quiet for a moment before he opened and closed his mouth again. Even in the dark some things were hard to say when she was awake, 'I'm not sure I can. I'm scared you won't be here when I wake up.'

'I'm not the one who leaves. I'm the one you can't get rid of even if you want to,' she said her voice a bit sadder, 'Remember?'

'I never want to get rid of you,' he said quickly.

'I...I need you close. I always need you close,' he said. Some things are much easier to say in the dead of the night even if she was awake. As long as they would make her feel better.

'I need you close too,' confessed Vanya her voice having a weird edge in it, 'I feel...it feels cold without you. I was too numbed by the pills before to notice but last night was the worst night ever because I was in my bed and it just felt weird and wrong and lacking the warm...and not just the body kind,' she spoke with pauses and he sensed that she was getting embarrassed by her own words.

He dared his fingers to reach out and touch her chin realizing that he felt the same way, 'It's always like that for me when you're not around,' he admitted. Letting his heart open for once for her to glimpse in, 'In the future, with the Commission? Everywhere, everything is just cold and you're the only warm thing in my life.'

They stayed silent for a moment. Five wondered if Vanya was also realizing what their confessions meant, or what they could mean if they allowed them to. This was something else. This wasn't a touch or a word caring too much weight which could still be interpreted as friendly or caring or platonic. This was everything out in the open for either one of them to reach it and start something. What that something could be, Five didn't dare to say or think of. He couldn't. The apocalypse was in two days now. They need to rest and stop it before they could deal with anything else, it was just how it was. The order of things was important when it came to protecting the people he cared about...the people he...loved.

'We should sleep now,' she said after a moment and he nodded, 'Yes. Let's sleep now.'

He was sure that was the end of it. That whatever their words meant wouldn't be dealt with tonight. He felt torn. He was grateful because how could they deal with it now? After the trauma they both faced today, with the apocalypse approaching, with their siblings in every corner. But did it mean they would never deal with it? They would both just keep it pushed inside? Was that the outcome of this? He didn't want to know. He couldn't bare it today, tonight, now, but at the same time he felt his chest hurting from not knowing if...or what it all meant?

He was sure neither could Vanya and he was safe from any decision, until he felt Vanya shift closer. She moved like a cat, quicker than he had ever seen her before she was face to face with him, and she leaned down to plant the lightest of kisses against the corner of his lips not entirely on the lips, but also too misguided from his cheek to be meant as a peak on the cheek. It lasted a second longer than it should before she returned her head to the pillow.

Both of them had their eyes opened looking at each other. Whatever their words meant...it was clear they were both on the same page about it.

A.N: Sorry that I broke the update every day standard that I started before, but work murdered all my functioning brain cells for a while :P Anyway. Here is the new chapter as mentioned this is what happened in last chapter but with Five's POV as well as a little bit of what was happening after Vanya fell asleep or did she? :D It took me a while because this bitch was really long, but I needed to put all of this in it so sorry if it's too long. Fun fact when I started this story and had no idea what would happen in the next chapter it was suppose to be 7 chapters long and now we are on chapter 7 and I still have big plans for it because all of your positive thoughts about it Hehe :D thank you

Thank you again for the support you are showing this story. I won't lie all those comments and reviews are bring a bit of a pressure to make you like the story further. I hope I'm not messing it up for you all. Anyway, enough of my hidden insecurities. Enjoy

This chapter was proof-readed by moira33 :)