Now

Vanya wondered how it all came down to this. To the moment when she felt like everything around her was literally crashing down and all she could do was stand and watch as her world would collapse. Everything felt too bright, or too loud, or just too much. Her hands wouldn't stop shaken, and her thoughts were all over the place. Jumping from Allison, to what happened, to Peabody, to her father, to Diego, to Five, to the house, to literally every single thing around her making it impossible to be still. She felt like she couldn't form a logical straight thought with the mess inside her head.

As she watched the long table in front of her, in their basement kitchen, she started to recall moments of when she was stubbornly refusing to eat oatmeal or broccoli or just eat in general. She remembered Grace was the first one who ever got her to eat. With everything going on that should have been the last thought on her mind, but for some reason it felt incredibly important.

Vanya brushed her forehead trying to remember something as if the memory of something important was trying to break free from her subconscious, but wouldn't.

Maybe she was just losing her mind all together. Maybe the pills were actually keeping her sane and now after several days without them she was losing it which would explain why she suddenly thought she had powers, or her family gave a crap about her, or why she thought there was something going on between her and Five. It was all in her head, just like she had hoped when she was younger. Maybe she just finally fallen a victim to her fantasies.

Her ears always seemed to focus on the tapping of the opened window near the sink.

When Klaus gave her the glass of Scotch she almost ripped it from his hand in the quick way she reached for it. She was still shaking, but the contact on the bottom of the glass remained inside it.

'Whoa, slow down there, sis,' he said watching as she poured it down her throat without a break before she gave him the glass.

There were many things running through her mind all at once creating a chaotic mess. She wondered if this was how Five felt at times, when he would stop talking and start about something else before he would have to write something completely different down into his notebook. This was how he used to appear to her when they were kids always thinking, always moving, never still unless he was sleeping and even then Vanya imagined his dreams were filled with new theories, formulas, equations which he had to research or write down. She used to be worried that his mind was simply too fast for his own brain and that he would fry it one day out.

'If I knew you were this fun, Vanya. I would have taken you out drinking ages ago,' said Klaus. She offered him a half grimace not sure what to say, before she looked over at Five.

He was going over their father's journal and then back to Klaus who was offering her a smile.

'Do you know about Allison?' she asked her voice weak since the room shook and the wall literally collapsed, she didn't see her sister yet. So far it was Grace, Pogo, Allison and Luther upstairs and the three of them downstairs with no contact with one another.

Klaus grimaced a bit before he said, 'Well, Luther basically barricaded himself with her in the medical room. Mom and Pogo took care of her.'

'God,' she let out and felt all the dishes around them start to shake.

'Remember what I said,' said Five, his eyes not leaving the pages of the journal.

Deep breaths and thinking of nice and calm things not things like you almost killing your sister.

'Vanya,' said Five still not even looking up from the page.

She took in a deep breath and tried to recall the time they were all kids maybe seven or eight and they had a competition on who would make the other laugh faster.

Klaus won that time.

The room went silence again. She didn't understand how he could do this. How he could just be so calm and sure about this. She just caused the wall to collapse, several windows and glasses to break, hurt their sister, not to mention kill Leon-Peabody. Yet, here he was just so calm about it, it made her even more nervous. She wished she would just stop shaking. She wished Pogo or Grace would come down and tell them how was Allison. She wished they got Diego out. Above all she wished Five would put the damn journal down finally say something to make sense of all of this. In that moment, looking so careless to her struggles, he reminded her more than ever of their father.

'Hey, there is irony in it if you think about it,' started Klaus.

Vanya looked at him desperate. She was grateful he stood by her and was trying to ease her mind of what was happening, but this was not helping her at all.

'You're a woman and a literal storm,' he said and nodded at her like she was supposed to know what that mean.

'That makes no sense,' she said shaking her head once again the tapping of the opened window causing her to get even more annoyed than before.

'Pop culture reference?' he tried to hint, but she shook her head almost defeated.

When she heard the doorbell go off, she groaned in pain covering her ears. Everything felt so loud almost making her ears bleed. She just wished everything would shut the hell up.

Glasses shook again and she cursed under her breath.

'I will get it,' said Klaus and ran upstairs while Vanya tried to calm down again. It was like whatever was inside her-the power-inside her no longer needed to gather itself to burst out. She could feel it right under her skin at the tip of her fingers ready to spread out without a second thought if she let it. Only sometimes she wasn't so sure it was up to her at all.

She couldn't help herself but started to bit at her nails. It wasn't something she often did, but the absence of the pills and unleashing of her emotions brought out feelings of anxiety they used to suppress.

'That's not nice,' she heard Five say. She looked over at him feeling a sudden anger toward his calm presence when she was on the bridge of losing her shit.

She got up, 'Did you find something? Anything.'

'Not yet,' he said and she just lost it with his incredibly calm façade and the fact that he not once looked at her since he started to read Hargreeves's journal. She pressed her hand against the pages to stop him from reading.

He sighed and looked up at her. He looked so disinterested she always wanted to break a glass or something to get his interest.

'This isn't helping,' she said and gritted her teeth.

'I understand, you're freaking out, but this is not helping,' he said and tapped his finger against her palm, 'This?' he took the journal from under her hand to show it to her, 'Might.'

'No, Five, I can feel it. Every second it's getting more and out of control and that stupid window just keeps on tapping,' the last part of that sentences was almost cried out right before the window shattered into little pieces all over the counter and the floor.

Vanya watched it in silence for a moment before she stepped away from Five, 'I need my pills.'

'That's a temporary solution,' argued Five immediately and finally setting the journal to the side.

'Well, right now, temporary sounds great because I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm literally-'

A glass broke near them and she groaned the frustration getting to her and making her jittery, '-breaking things.'

'Grace told you there are no pills in the house.'

'Then go get me some, please,' she said her voice pleading.

'I'm not leaving you this close to the apocalypse.'

'Then let's send Klaus-'

'A drug addict to the pharmacy?' he raised his brows at the idea, 'Either way, you have prescription medication you need to pick up yourself -'

'I can't leave the house like this. I would literally tore down the city-'

'More like the world according to this,' he said and looked down at the journal, 'From dad's words you could do all sorts of stuff.'

'Yeah, stuff which made him so afraid of me that he dosed me with drugs and made sure that I felt like shit so that I wouldn't get too excited about this,' she mumbled grumpily the dishes shaking again around them.

'Happy thoughts,' he said and shot her one of his smug grins, she just wanted to slap out of his face.

She took a deep breath again and tried to think about nice things like practicing her violin before she realized she wouldn't even be able to attend the concert.

'What?' he asked and took her hand into his the dishes finally stopped to shake. Her face must have given her away.

'I just realized that I won't be playing tonight,' she said. The frustrated pushed away by sadness and defeat. Her big break and she couldn't even go play. Not that she would now knowing that she probably only got the part because a lunatic killed her competition.

Five showed her solidarity in a short nod and squeeze of her hand, 'I'm afraid, no. You can't risk it to go outside. According to dad all your powers are tied to sounds. Playing the violin right now could be a catastrophe.'

'Or an apocalypse,' she mumbled before she met his eyes again, 'You had have thought about it.'

'Yes, but it doesn't matter. The apocalypse only happened because I wasn't there and we weren't together. Now we are, so there is nothing the commission could do to cause it now-'

'Uh, guys, we got company,' said Klaus cutting them off as he came down to the kitchen with a man pointing a gun at him.

Vanya gasped the room starting to shake again, while Five stepped in front of her, 'I wouldn't do that if I were you.'

Hazel looked around the shaking room before he lowered the gun and put it away completely.

Vanya blinked confused by the action, 'Sorry, force of habit. I came in peace. Sort of.'

'Sounds like a bluff, but go on,' said Five as Klaus noticed he wasn't held at gunpoint and jumped away only to rush to Vanya's side.

'The Handler showed up today. Gave Cha-Cha and I a new assignment.'

Five stepped closer. Vanya couldn't see his face, but from his voice it was clear he had that cocky smirk on, 'Let me guess. The old bat ordered to kill me.'

'Actually, she ordered to protect Vanya Hargreeves,' said Hazel slowly before looking at her. Vanya felt sick to her stomach. If even the commission wanted her safe it meant...it could mean that the only way to stop the apocalypse...stop her would be...

She felt Klaus's hand on her back, 'I shouldn't be here.'

Five momentary shot a glance at her. His jaw was tight as it was obvious he wasn't pleased with her words in that moment, but he said nothing.

'So what you're here to offer your serviced as a guard dog?' he asked Hazel, but the man shook his head, 'No, I'm going to get my girl.'

This caused shock to all three of them, 'I just came to warn you. The Handler's really pissed and she obviously has a lot bet on the apocalypse. She sent me and Cha-Cha for now, but once she realizes we failed she will sent others.'

'Oh great, a whole house of assassins. Sounds like a fun time,' said Klaus by her side. Vanya looked at Five, but he didn't move just started at Hazel for a while, 'Thanks for the heads-up. We appreciate it.'

The man nodded looking a bit hesitated for a moment before he said, 'Also can I just say. I'm a big fan of Calhoun. What you did there...legendary, man.'

Vanya blinked and looked down at Five again. Obviously he meant his previous work. She could see how Five's shoulders tense momentarily forgetting about her own drama and wanting to reach out to him for support, but somehow still feeling shy with Klaus being in the room and the other man. It was one thing to be open with him, when it was just the two of them, but with others she always felt too self-aware, too judged and laughed at. Over thinking was a terrible little monster always inside your head feeding you with words you couldn't suppress or block out controlling how you would feel.

'Look, thanks for that but right now-'

Vanya jumped with Klaus as Diego appeared out of nowhere jumping Hazel from behind.

'The hell did he came from?'

Vanya watched as Diego did his best to wrestle against the man while Five in a monotone voice like he was bored kept on telling him to stop.

Perhaps she truly lost it, but Vanya couldn't help, but chuckle at the stupidity of the situation with Diego fighting a man while he was on his back like he wanted him to give him a piggyback ride and Five watching with little interest and Klaus cheering on who she wasn't sure. She covered her face with her hands. All she wanted to do right now was lay down and sleep.

It wasn't until Diego bit the man into the ear causing Vanya and Klaus to yelp a glass broke by, which made Five teleported and crash some china over Diego's head, 'I draw the line at biting.'

He limped back to Vanya and Klaus, 'I suggest you leave before he wakes up. While I may appreciate the whole switching teams. My brother might not care at all.'

Hazel nodded, 'Alright. Good luck.'

'Wait, which one of you was the trigger man for Detective Patch?' asked Five suddenly.

'Trigger woman,' said Hazel.

'That's too bad. That gun could have cleared our brother's name,' said Five sounding disappointed, but already looking like he was going through their options.

'Well then, it's your lucky day, amigo,' he said and pulled out a second gun handing it over to Five.

Vanya watched the whole exchange in silence before the man stepped finally away, and she went to Diego kneeling down next to him. She put her hand on his shoulder trying to shake him away.

'Don't,' said Five and put the gun on the counter, 'He just fought, he will be violent when he wakes up.'

She watched him for a moment before she stood up and brushed her face again, 'This is just too much.'

She was going to cause the apocalypse. Her powers were crawling under her skin ready to burst out at first sign and Five was standing here holding a gun that would prove Diego's innocence like there was time for that. Like there would be a tomorrow for that. By Five's calculations the apocalypse happens today.

She put her hand over her chest. Her heart hasn't stopped beating like crazy since the wall collapsed on Allison. She felt so terrified.

When she looked to the side at the table she saw a woman there. She was tall and wearing very old looking clothes. She was looking at her with fear in her eyes. Vanya briefly remembered her.

'Bonjour. I'm miss Stevenbaker, and I am your new nanny.'

She came to the house. She wanted to force Vanya eat oatmeal. Five and Klaus did not come to rescue her from eating that time and she just go so upset. She didn't want to eat it. She hated it just like she hated broccoli. She didn't want to eat it. She remembered hearing the teapot and then…

The nanny was gone and Grace was their new nanny, and then mom.

'Hey, Vanya?' asked Five suddenly. She blinked and looked over at him. He was holding her hand staring at her. She didn't even realize she had spaced out like that.

'You okay?' he asked and the dishes stopped shaking. She didn't even notice when they started. She grabbed his wrist with a bit more force than she intended to, 'Maybe it's not the best idea to be in a room full of glasses and dishes, right now?'

Five eyed her suspiciously; at least once since the whole revelation that she had powers did he not look like everything was in perfect control.

'Alright, let's go upstairs, shall we?'

She nodded all too quickly before looking back at Diego.

'I will took care of him, you love birds can process the mating rituals.'

She looked away and started to walk. She could feel her face grew hot, and she wasn't entirely sure she wasn't red. Still, as she walked up the stairs she realized yet again, she didn't deny it to Klaus.

Honestly, she wasn't sure anymore what the hell was going on between her and Five, but at the moment it felt ridiculous to even think about it as they had more pressing manners to attend to.

She stopped in the hallways, 'Five, I shouldn't be here. I…I shouldn't be anywhere. If-if I'm really going to cause the apocalypse-'

'You won't I already told you that,' he said sounding a bit annoyed that she did not believe him. She wanted to. Oh, how much she wanted to believe him now more than ever, but he didn't feel what she felt. He didn't feel this power rushing through her veins without stopping, without any seemingly control ready to burst out with or without her approval. It wasn't like his powers which he could use to his liking. This was an unstoppable force ready to hurt and kill people.

'Five-'

'No, stop it,' he said looking more and more annoyed wither her.

'I told you. It will be fine. We'll figure out a way, Vanya-'

'You're not listening.'

'Vanya!'

'No, you're not listening,' she screamed at him the emotions once again getting the best of her and something nearby broke. It felt heavier than glass.

They shared a quick look before they went to check out the lounge where they found his picture on the ground in three pieces and the wall where it was hanging cracked.

'Hm,' chuckled Five clearly seeing the humour in all this or pretending to see it, 'to be fair it was a bit narcissistic of me to have such a portrait of myself here.'

Vanya, however, felt different. She realized now more than ever of how dangerous she was to all her family. She looked at the portrait with utter fear. This could just as easily have been the real Five if she aimed a bit differently. That was the problem, right? She had no control over what her powers caused.

She walked to the couch and sat down covering her face with her hands before she mumbled, 'I'm going to kill the world.'

'Vanya,' she heard Five say and pull at her hands, but she kept her eyes closed.

She didn't want to see his face right now. He would look so patiently and forgiving and caring like this wasn't a big deal. Like she wasn't going to cause the end of the world and force him to live all alone in the post-apocalypse world.

'How can you be so forgiving of me? Giving me forgiveness for murdering innocent people and yet hold so little for killing a man who hurt you and an accident which was not your fault at all?' he asked, and she felt his hand in her hair brushing it softly.

Her eyes, those traitors, dared to open and look at him. She was right he looked at her so softly. Five was never soft. In fact, he could be taken as the opposite of soft. He was sharp and brutal and quick, but when it came to her he could be so soft. No one was ever this soft to her before. No one ever looked at her like this before. No one made her feel like this…

She felt utter grief for something which she couldn't change. For Five leaving and whatever could have been staying only in fantasies and what ifs in her mind she didn't dare to speak out loud.

She swallowed hard ready to cry again grabbing him by the front of his uniform, 'I'm going to cause the apocalypse. Five…I can feel it.'

Something sifted behind his eyes. Perhaps a momentary doubt, but before she could confirm it, his eyes gain the same determination and caring as before and he said, 'How is it that you trust me so little in this? Do you not know what I can do? Vanya, I…I've done so many things. You saw them. You've seen them. You know me. How can you have no faith it me-'

'This isn't about you,' she said quickly shaking her head. He didn't understand it. He was the hero, sure, he was the survival of the apocalypse who always had a plan and a trick up his sleeve, but she wasn't. She was just plain and old ordinary number Seven, Vanya, the worthless and useless of all the Hargreeves siblings. She had all the faith she was capable of mustering in him, but not in herself. Never in herself and right now no matter how much had he wanted to…this wasn't about him, it was about her and she had zero faith in herself. Number Five could stop the apocalypse. But there was no way in hell Number Seven would be able to get it right. Vanya could feel it inside her.

She was going to fail and she was going to sentence a thirteen year old Number Five who just ran away from their table to the future into a life of misery and loneliness worse than her own.

'Vanya,' he said softly his hand brushing her hair, 'Please just trust me. If you… can't trust yourself then trust me.'

'Five-'

'Please,' he begged her, his hands still so tender with her while his eyes grew desperate, 'Trust me. Remember when you jumped on that drain? You just jumped. You couldn't have known you would land well, or I would catch you, but you trusted me enough to just jump. If you could trust me then with your life why not now? Just trust me.'

She let out a shaky breath. This…man. No one, ever in Vanya's life made her feel the way Five did. He awoken something inside her of her which her whole life was pushed deep down. He came to her room to help her with nightmares, but he did so much more. He just…he brought her back to life, and yet Vanya was sure he was going to be the death of her. She could only hope he wouldn't be the death of millions as well.

'A-always.'

'Then trust me on this. I can do this.'

They were both breathing a bit harder than before from all the emotional drama which was soaked into their situation. For a moment Vanya realized just how close they were to each other. Five brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. It left her momentarily off guard. Over the course of the past few days he touched her more than in thirteen years of their lives. It was leaving her more and more confused about what it meant. What it could mean…

She looked into his eyes. They were the same. She tried to picture him in his older body. He would be all sharp bones and wicked smirks, dark hair and tall. She knew he would be taller than her. She wondered how would it feel if older number Five would hug her, kept her close, kiss her-

They heard someone clear their throat and quickly moved away from each other. They needed to stop doing things like this with everyone around them in the house.

'Ms. Vanya, Ms. Allison would like to speak with you,' said Pogo and Vanya quickly stood up feeling relief wash over her, 'She's awake.'

Pogo nodded and Vanya closed her eyes taking a moment before she nodded at him. She looked at Five who had an unreadable expression, but forced a tight smile and offered her a short nod as well.

17 years ago

He heard some noises coming from upstairs but he wasn't sure what they were until Mom didn't run up. He shared a look with Diego and followed her leaving the kitchen and the dinner on the oven unattended.

They came into Allison's room only to find Vanya on her knees crying while Klaus was brushing her shoulder something Five never saw his brother do and calming her down.

Mom was looking all over the room before she asked, 'What happened?'

'I-I-I didn't mean it, I just...I got upset and I'm sorry,' said Allison looking very guilty and ashamed.

'Yes, you did,' argued Klaus while Vanya was still crying.

He stood up and pointed at her, 'You rumoured her. You knew what you were doing.'

'She broke the perfume I got from dad-'

'Children,' said mom cutting them all off as she went and kneeled in front of Vanya lifting her head to look at her, 'Are you alright, dear?'

The girl nodded while still crying, 'I just felt like I couldn't breathe. I-I'm sorry about the perfume.'

Allison shook her head, 'It's okay. I'm...I'm sorry too, Vanya.'

'Come on, now dear. You should take your medicine.'

'Number Three,' they heard as their dad was approaching, 'What is the meaning of this?'

'I-I got upset and I told her a rumour that she would go to the closet and never come out,' admitted the girl and Five froze in place. Allison looked terrified as their father waved at her to come with him. She looked at Five as if asking for some sort compassion, but in that moment he felt none for her.

He kept his eyes on Vanya as she tried to calm down. His eyes never felt her feeling something he couldn't quite explain from watching her suffer like this.

Now

Vanya walked into medical room feeling like someone stabbed her with a thousand of needles into the stomach. She stopped in front of it. The door was open and she could see Luther and Allison were talking about something.

Only now, standing in the doorway, did Vanya realize just how unprepared she was to see them.

She raised her shaky hand and knocked on the wooden doorframe.

Allison quickly sat up despite Luther telling her to be careful.

Vanya felt like crying upon seeing her on the bed like that.

'Vanya,' when she called out to her. There was no anger, or blame in her voice, just caring. Something Vanya longed since she was a little girl and watched Allison dance around her room or do her hair. She always wanted to be a part of her sister's life, but she didn't know how. She didn't want to be pushy so she never asked.

'It's okay. Leave us please,' she told him and he gave her a look like he would deny her. Something he wasn't very good at, but he found himself nodding before he went to leave. Vanya felt herself almost tearing her chest apart from how much she was trying to stay calm as he passed her. She knew they were family, but no one could deny the strong feelings he had for Allison, and Vanya caused her pain.

She didn't dare to look at him as he passed her, too afraid she might see the hate which was lacking in Allison's eyes.

'I'm so sorry,' she said as she stepped inside feeling the tension leave her body as she got those words out.

'No, don't. It was my fault. I pushed you and pushed you like I always did and you-'

'Lost it?' offered Vanya and Allison chuckled, 'Yeah. I'm so sorry. This wasn't how I wanted it to go.'

Vanya walked toward her and they took each others' hands.

'How do you feel?'

'Better. Just a bit bumped all over but good. What about you?' asked Allison and squeezed her hand. Vanya let out a desperate sigh.

'I just feel like 99 percent of all my problems would be solved if I stopped over thinking, calmed the fuck down and stopped being such a panicky anxious little shit,' she said and chuckled, 'I'm so sorry.'

'No, stop. It's on me too,' said Allison and they felt into a momentary silence.

Vanya found her voice after a while, 'I'm the one. I'll cause the apocalypse.'

Allison's eyes widened, 'No.'

Vanya nodded, 'It's true. Even Five knows this. I'm going to destroy the world.'

'Stop, Vanya. Don't say that. You're not. How could you?'

'Look what I already did. I hurt you? I killed Peabody-'

'Both times on accident,' cut in Allison.

'And who's to say the apocalypse wasn't just an accident? Five said the commission causes accident to get what they want. Maybe I will just accidentally blow up the world or something,' Vanya shook her head feeling some of the equipment on the table next to them started to shaken.

She tried to step away and make some distance but Allison wouldn't let her, 'If you stress too much about something before it happens, you're basically putting yourself through it twice.'

Vanya looked at her desperate, 'I don't want to hurt anyone else. I'm scared I will…I will just lose control and no one will be able to stop me.'

'That' won't happen. You're so brave and strong-'

This time Vanya pulled her hand away, 'I'm not and you know it. I'm me. I'm neither of those things. I'm just me. I crawl into self-pity and doubt. I won't stand of chance if my powers get the better of me.'

'Vanya, please.'

She shook her head before she said, 'I keep on having these suppressed memories coming out. Memories like hurting nannies and dark room with no sound coming out. You know? I'm…starting to think that dark room I was always so afraid of was real, and dad had one made just for me. So I wouldn't hurt any of you.'

Allison watched her for a moment before she looked away, 'Remember when I put you into the closet? When I rumored you into the closet I mean. When we were kids?'

Vanya was surprised by her words but nodded, 'Yes.'

Allison looked nervous as she spoke trying to find the right words, 'I-I just wanted you…I was pissed because father said he wouldn't buy me a new perfume if I break it and I…,' she shook her head, 'when you started to scream and cry and I let you out and you just wouldn't calm down, I remembered something. I wasn't sure what it meant. I wasn't sure it wasn't a dream or just my fantasy, but I remembered you in this dark cold room on the bed and dad said to tell you…to rumor you that you thought you were ordinary.'

Vanya was left in silence after that. Allison took her hand, but it was like Vanya was in too much shock. She didn't squeeze it back as she got lost inside her thoughts. She remembered now. She was in the dark all alone, forgotten for what felt like ages, until father and Grace came with Allison.

She wanted to hug her but father's cold eyes stopped her. He told Allison to say what he told her and then…

She closed her eyes and nodded, 'I remember now. Then Grace gave me the pills for the first time, and I…I didn't…everything was just too foggy after them and when I finally got out of that fog you all had forgot about me.'

Allison started to cry, 'I'm so sorry. It was all my fault. I…I didn't understand it. I just…he said I had to do it so that you would get better and come back to us. I just believed him. We always just believed him because we didn't know better.'

Vanya nodded, 'I know, it's okay-'

'It's not, and you know it. I…every time you ever felt like you weren't enough even now, it's because of me. I made you feel like that. I made you feel like that. No one is ever supposed to do that to a person and I did and then I just continued to push you away and because he made it sound like that was the only way with you because you were just…'

'Ordinary,' filled in Vanya and Allison pulled her into a hug. Vanya let her even if she wasn't sure she was feeling it. She still put her arms around her, hoping that at least Allison got some comfort out of it, if she herself couldn't. Not yet at least.

She shut her eyes again trying to push down all the terribly conflicted emotions she felt just then and focus on her breathing and happy thoughts.

Thoughts like laying in bed all day under the covers and not having to deal with any of this for a while.

She leaned away from Allison after a while, 'Can you forgive me?'

Vanya offered her the fakest smile she could force herself to make, 'There is nothing to forgive.'

She looked at the door, 'I think Five wanted to see you afterwards. If that is okay with you?'

Allison nodded quickly brushing away the tears, 'Of course.'

'I will go fetch him,' she said before she brushed Allison's shoulder one last time. As she walked downstairs Vanya it was like she was slowly gathering all the things inside her mind remembering the moments which felt like they were always there under the fog. She remembered little accidence like dad's broken monocle, Diego's bleeding hand, the dishes in the kitchen breaking, windows, a cracked wall a couple of times, and the nannies…gosh. She remembered so many nannies with bent necks or in odd shapes laying on the floor while father scoffed her.

She stopped on the stairs feeling the room shaking again as she realized maybe Five and her were even more alike then she thought. Except he had no choice, she just didn't know how to control herself.

She found Five waiting for her in the lounge he looked deep in thoughts so she wasn't sure he heard her come until he spoke, 'How is she?'

Vanya smiled at him a bit, 'She's good. Uh, she wants to see you actually.'

Five blinked a bit surprised by this. He and Allison we never the closest, but he nodded anyway and headed for stairs, Vanya spun around in momentarily weakness almost letting herself give away her plan, but bit into her tongue focusing on his limp and back telling herself that he wasn't the one leaving so she didn't need a goodbye.

She watched him go remembering the day he ran away from the table toward the unknown leaving her behind. She wondered if he heard her that time as she went from the table and run after him catching a flash of blue light before he was gone. She wondered if he heard her call his name.

Five…

Suddenly as if Five could hear her now, he stopped on the third stair and looked back at her studying her face. She forced another smile. Not entirely fake, but also not completely honest given what she was planning to do now.

'If it's inside the house it doesn't count,' she said referring to his promise of not leaving her without a goodbye and how she said that if it is leaving her under five minutes it doesn't count.

Five shot her that wicked smirk of his which always made the breath get stuck in her throat and her stomach do a funny flip before he continued to walk.

She waited for a moment before she walked to the direction of the bedrooms. Her eyes landed momentarily on the damaged wall which separated her and Ben's room before she walked further down the hallway.

As Vanya knocked on the door she patiently waited for the answer, before the door opened on their own revealing Luther.

She nodded at herself to gather some courage, 'I…I need your help with something, and I don't think there is anyone I can ask for it, but you.'

17 years ago

Vanya woke up sooner than Five this time around. This wasn't something which occurred often since it was usually Five who had to get up before the alarm went off to return to his room.

She looked at him. When he was asleep, all calm and in silent, he looked much younger. Her mind drifted to his chubby baby cheeks and she almost let out a small giggle as she remembered him like that. He was adorable.

She felt him jerk a bit in his sleep and she wondered if he would wake up, when his had suddenly brushed against her bare arm stopping by her stomach. It caused the spot there to get warm, but she didn't move afraid she would wake him up. He deserved a bit of rest.

Vanya felt him shift a bit closer to her letting out a soft sleepy noise as his arm brushed her stomach and side again.

Her eyes widened forcing down a smile as the motion caused her to feel a bit ticklish there. When he did it again, she couldn't help giggle a bit before she covered her mouth abruptly.

His eyes opened as if on cue and he gazed at her completely startled and shocked. He sometimes did that when she giggled.

'Good morning,' she said after she put the hand away from her mouth.

'What are you doing?' he asked accidentally brushing his hand again, and she closed her eyes trying to shut the giggles in her mouth before she calmed down enough to say, 'That tickles.'

Five blinked at her several times chasing away the sleep before he smirked in a way which she just knew would cause trouble for her.

'N-no, don't even think about-'

He didn't even let her finish before launched himself on her tickling her stomach. Vanya barely managed to cover her mouth before she would explode from laughter waking up the whole house.

He finally stopped after he saw her almost choking as she was gasping for air.

'J-jerk,' she said her face red like a tomato and her stomach hurting from the way she couldn't breath, but she found it to be the best feeling yet, 'I don't think you mean it given how you are smiling right now.'

He told her his eyes sparkling with amusement while he was still holding her down with his hand on her shoulder and the other close to her stomach almost as if he was ready to attack her again.

She giggled but only quietly, the smile still on her face, 'Still a jerk.' She doubted she ever felt happier than in that moment.

He rolled his eyes at her before they both heard the pesky alarm went off, and they needed to get ready for breakfast.

They both sighed at each other before Five got out of the bed and went to teleport.

'Oh,' he said suddenly, 'Let's do something different today.'

She blinked as she hopped her legs off the bed, 'Like what?'

He smirked at her almost smugly, 'Something extraordinary.'

Now

As they walked into the door and to the secret elevator Vanya remembered the last time she was there. With their father, who told her he had a special test only for her. She didn't like the dark around them, but she remembered feeling a bit safer knowing he was there. Oh, how naïve of a child she was, but then again, he was her father. A child is supposed to feel safe with their father.

He led her through several long halls and doors. Now walking there with Luther felt almost as if she was that little girl again. At the time she didn't used to be afraid of the dark, not until that very moment that last door locked on her and she was alone in the dark with no one coming for hours and hours.

Just before the door, Luther suddenly stopped hesitating, 'Is-Is this really what you want?'

Vanya looked up at him. She wanted to say that this was the last thing she wanted. She wanted to tell him how she was terrified of being there on her own, and that she felt like throwing up every time she realized she was going to be there all alone.

But this was what she needed because if there was one thing she dread even more than being alone and forgotten in the dark it was hurting the ones she cared about the way she already did Allison.

'Yes,' it shouldn't surprise her how easy the lie rolled off her tongue.

Vanya stepped inside with her back to Luther. She was worried that if she actually saw him closing the door on her, she would lose it.

When she finally heard the last click of the door signaling it was closed, she finally let herself to cry from frustration knowing that at least now she wouldn't hurt anyone, but that just as her whole life, she was alone.

She hoped Five would forgive her one day. Maybe tomorrow after the apocalypse was over.

17 years ago

Vanya groaned as she felt Five poking at her shoulder, 'What?'

'Come on, we're going out for an adventure, remember?'

She opened her eyes feeling like she was hit over the heady with a sack of potatoes.

'What?'

'Something extraordinary?' he hinted and she closed her eyes momentarily sinking back into sleep before someone violently shoved the covers away from her, 'Get up before I make you.'

She opened her eyes again and sat up. Honestly, there was no way in hell Vanya wanted to find out just how exactly he would make her.

'Should I get dressed?'

'Only if you don't want to get hypothermia.'

She groaned again and went to her wardrobe hearing the distinguishing sound of Five teleporting to his room.

She put on her uniform and coat and scarf before she pressed herself against her desk waiting.

Five reappeared and went to her window.

'Whoa, what are you doing?' she went to stop him as he pushed it up all the way.

'It will be safer than going down the stairs. I don't want others to see us,' he clarified, and she blinked surprised by this. They had been out with the others twice now, the second time eating less and mostly just talking about things. She liked the time they spent away from the house. It was freeing and far happier than any time they were together inside the cold walls of their little prison. She assumed from how relaxed Five was he enjoyed it as well.

'Is something the matter? I thought you didn't mind going out with others,' she said feeling a bit worried that he would say he didn't enjoy it, and she wouldn't be able to come anymore. She would feel sad that she wouldn't spent time anymore with her siblings, but if Five didn't like it, she would just stay with him.

'Hm?' he asked one foot already out of the window, 'Yeah, no, I like it. It's hilarious to watch food competitions between Luther and Diego and then bet who will throw up first, but this…I just wanted to show it just to you,' he said and frowned a bit stopping in his movement.

'Unless, you don't want to,' he said slowly giving her the option of making her own choice, but Vanya caught the small worry in his voice that she actually wouldn't want to go with him.

She gave him her best smile, 'Don't be silly. Of course, I do, I just thought something was wrong.'

He seemed satisfied with her answer before he looked down and said, 'Alright, I need you to trust me and be very…very careful, alright?'

She nodded although she felt a bit sick thinking she would have to crawl down from the second floor.

'If I fall and break something, I blame you,' she told him as he was out of the window, 'If you fall and break something, I will run away and join the circus because dad would probably kill me.'

'For breaking the rules sure.'

'For getting you hurt,' he said as she slowly got out of the window trying not to look down and focus more on where she should put her feet not to slip.

'I don't think dad would care enough for that, but it would be very mean of you to cause my injury and run away on me,' she told him slowly moving through the wall on the outdoor side of the house. If Ben was up and looked out of his window he would probably have a heart attack.

She slowly moved to the drain where Five was waiting for her. This would be tricky, she had to make a small leap to the drain since there was no more wall to step on.

She tried to raise her hand feeling the doubt catching up to her as she saw just how big was the space from her hand to the drain. It seemed like a long way to the drain, a long jump and a long way to be just in nothing but air. She wondered if she would get away with going back to her room, but the look in Five's eyes when he thought she didn't want to come, made her heart ache more than fear ever could.

'Hey, it's alright,' he spoke suddenly and rose his brows as he asked, 'You trust me, right?'

She pushed back all her fears and simply jumped. Vanya wasn't sure she trusted herself enough to get to the other side of the drain, but apparently she trusted Five enough as she felt her knee hurt from the impact and someone's hands around her waist making sure she was in place.

For a moment neither of them moved and Vanya could feel the blood rushing through her ears. She just jumped into the air at a second floor. She must have been insane.

'Move your foot to the left there is a small metallic bar,' said Five his voice sounding a bit off. She blindly lifted her foot moving it a bit until she found something to step on.

'Are you okay?' he whispered into her ear, and she only then realized he was right behind her holding her in place making sure she wouldn't fall.

She pressed her head against the drain, 'Yeah….no.'

He chuckled and she felt him brush her back a bit, 'Don't worry. We'll go through the door on the way back.'

She nodded just as he took her hand and put it on another metallic bar. She heard and felt him shift a bit against her before he put her other hand in place.

'I'm gonna climb down first. Don't let go, until you feel both feet are steadily on one of the bars, alright?' he asked his voice still edgy.

She nodded again and felt him pat her back a bit awkwardly. She wondered if that was to assure her or himself before she felt the cold night wind hit her as Five climb down no longer shielding her from it.

With a deep breath, she started to slowly climb down as well making sure she felt the pressure of the bar before she would let go of one hand and move to the next. Once she was down she couldn't help but look up and be amazing.

She climbed all the way from up there.

'Are you alright?' asked Five and she nodded before looking at him. She saw the fear in his eyes. Not something she was used to seeing in his eyes of all people. It made her want to comfort him in some way.

She wanted to hug him, but Number Five wasn't a hugger, so she decided to go for his hand.

She took it into hers, 'I'm fine. Thanks for keeping me safe.'

His eyes softened, the fear fading away, but he was still a bit tense as he nodded and pointed to the backyard.

There was a large blanket on the grass. She didn't let his hand go and neither did he hers as he walked her toward it.

He laid down, and she followed his lead lying upside down from him. The sky was full of stars tonight looking like an invisible blanket over the world. It was so big, endless.

'Today is the first day of the clustering,' said Five suddenly and Vanya blinked, 'What's that?'

'The alignment of the planets. Last time it occurred was in 1997,' he told her and she smiled, 'Oh, so we can see them?'

He pointed at one of the dots while all appeared the same to her, but she smiled anyway, 'Five of them at least. Venus, Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, and Mercury.'

She watched as his finger moved over the sky as if it was that easy to track them all down.

She snuggled into the blanket a bit as Five proceeded to tell her about his knowledge of astronomy and the sighting. As she watched the magnificent and large sky above them she couldn't help, but felt utterly small in compare to it.

'It feels strange doesn't it?' she asked suddenly surprising even herself after a moment of silence on both ends.

'What does?' he asked curious.

'Well, we're here right now just so insignificant compare to the larger picture, to the whole planet, to the universe. If something happened and we would die the world would just keep on spinning like nothing happened. Like someone could just invent the cure for cancer and yet in the universe it wouldn't even make a different,' she found herself saying. She held her tongue after that knowing she was getting into unwanted territory of her personal insecurities. She was always afraid she was the insignificant one who wouldn't be missed or even noticed if she disappeared one day. She felt like cursing at herself for being so stupid now probably ruining Five's mood as he was silent all of the sudden.

Before she could apologize, he spoke startling her a bit with his voice, 'Something it scares me as well.'

'What does?' she echoed his previous question with her hand finding his behind his head and pulling it from under him to grip.

'That…I will never achieve anything which will matter,' he said his voice strange, sadder, almost lonely.

She leaned on her side to look at his profile, 'How come? Five, you're the most incredibly person I know. I can't imagine you not achieving something great and magnificent.'

He turned his head to look at her, upside down everything looked funny.

'Dad says I'm an idiot when I talk about my theories,' he said and Vanya blinked surprised even more by this. Five always looked so composed like nothing could ever affect him. He was always almost annoyingly confident knowing his worth and how clever he was. She never saw their father's words actually hurt him well not the way they did her, or Ben or Diego. She only ever saw Five cry over their father's words and that was weeks ago. It still caught her off guard then and it did now as well. How could their father had such affect on them? Five was just brave and confident and he knew he was that smart, yet their father could knock him down so hard even he couldn't be sure about the one thing, he knew about himself.

'Dad says a lot of things. He also thinks I'm a useless tool and yet you told me I'm not. He can't be wrong about one and but right about the other one, now can he?' she asked him logically and watched as an upside down smile pulled at his face. Five never really smiled at people. He grinned or smirked, but to actually smile was pretty rare, special.

'You're starting to show,' he said and tickled her cheek a bit with his fingers, 'I'm being a bad influence on you.'

She grinned, 'Maybe you're starting to show. All this anxiety. Careful or dad will make you make my pills.'

They watched each other for a moment before she spoke, 'I know dad says hurtful things, but don't let them get you. You're Number Five. You're…the most brilliant person I know.'

His fingers stoke her cheek again suddenly she didn't feel cold anymore. She felt very much warm, 'You really think so?'

She blinked confused because honestly how could he not think so?

'Of course. That's why you're my favourite.'

Something flashed behind Five's eyes and she would have sworn there was pink color spreading over his face even if it was too dark to see.

'You're my favourite too,' he said and she giggled before he rolled toward her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. The spot burnt a bit. It was such a quick attack she wasn't even sure it really happened.

'Oh,' she let out a bit startled, but forced herself to smile even if she saw that he couldn't meet her eyes and rolled on his back again.

It felt a bit weird…but also nice? Yeah, it felt nice too.

Vanya did not understand why she felt so wet, cold and uncomfortable. Did she leave the window open during the rain?

No, Five would have closed it.

She shifted a bit feeling her hand land into a small puddle of water.

She opened her eyes startled finding her and Five had fallen asleep on the blanket outside in the cold.

She quickly sat up. It was still dark but only dim like it was before 5a.m.

'Wake up,' she whispered and shook Five awaky, who's wide eyes met with her panicked ones.

'Crap,' he mumbled under his breath. He was probably just as soaked and cold as her. He got to his feet quickly dragging her with him. They went through the bottom floor window and then up the stairs this time.

They both froze when Klaus pointed at her hair during breakfast when their father wasn't around asking why did it look like bird's nest.

'I feel asleep while it was wet?' she asked cursing her lack of ability to lie.

She got a few odd stares, but as Five offered her a small smirk, she just chuckled and returned to her meal. Even though she slept on the wet ground in the cold that night, the good mood didn't leave her through the whole day.

Now

Vanya remained in her cell in the dark. She sat pressed against the door. It was so quiet and dark inside. She spotted crying a while ago, now she only occasionally sobbed, the only sounds in the dark room her own.

When she heard the distinguishing sound of Five teleporting she brushed her face for any dried tears which might have been left before.

She looked up only to gasp as she spotted a woman with whitish hair dressed in a black coat looking back at her, 'Hello there. You must be Vanya. Pleasure to meet you, dear.'

The woman raised her hand toward her. 'I heard so many great things about you.'

A.N: First thing, please don't hate me. I know. I know. Many of you did not want Vanya to be locked up, but this really just felt like something she would have actually do if things worked out differently in the canon, so…sorry not sorry? Also the ending was supposed to end different but I thought of something at the last moment also sorry not sorry? :(

Oh, and no this little kiss. Is not their first actual kiss. You will have to stick to find out about that one. :)

I decided not to write Vanya's POV from the last chapter because some things didn't sit right with me.

Anyway, thank you all for the continuing support you show this story. I hope it's still interesting for you because I honestly feel more and more unsure about these chapters.

I will try to have next chapter by Monday or Tuesday latest? Might be sooner, but again no promises since I won't be able to write at all on Friday.

Anyway, let me know, what you think if you want and enjoy