One Day Ago
Waking up was sometimes a very strange thing for Vanya Hargreeves. Ever since she was younger she either woke up feeling even more tired than when she headed to bed, or not tired at all. There were times, she wasn't even sure she was waking up at all, those were usually the times when she added a pill to her daily dosage or her father had. Other times she woke up with Five's calm sleeping face on the pillow next to her or him already awake trying to get out of the bed without waking her up in the process, usually failing.
Sometimes, when he was still asleep after she woke up, she would just watch him. Maybe for a second or two before he would wake up, or maybe longer, but she would just watch Five's face. It made her feel warm and calm herself knowing he was...there.
Those few moments when he disappeared in front of her eyes, and she thought she would never see him again, were incredibly painful. If what happened in her dreams was true and in another timeline, he disappeared for good, seventeen years, she pain must have been unbearable. As she watched her life, or her previous life, just a shallow nothing of a life really, it wasn't hard to believe it was true.
Without Five, with all her siblings giving up on her and pushing her away, she really could end up like that. It wasn't hard to believe at all. She needed Five. She needed him in her life to help her survive the day. She just...she couldn't explain it, and she knew it was making her weak, but if she didn't have time to talk with him or be close with him through a day that day was just not good. He made her feel...well love, of course, but it wasn't even that it was just that he made her feel like the world was brighter. It was like all around her the colours were greyish, almost washed up in the washing machine after being put there too many times, but when Five was around they didn't look like that. They looked real, alive. He made her feel like that. He made her feel alive in endless days of numbness and nothing, he made her feel.
Waking up today felt different. Usually if Five slept with her in the bed, her arm was resting nicely over his side while he had his own arm on top of it. It was a standard way they slept without movement all through the night.
Today was different. Today, even before Vanya opened her eyes she felt something warm and cosy against her back.
She didn't open her eyes. She knew it was Five based on his rhythmical breathing and his hand on top of hers as he was hugging her from behind. It was still...odd. They never slept like this, but somehow the fact that she felt so secured made her not open her eyes and stay cuddled against him until sleep took her again.
The next time she woke up, she knew Five was awake already. She sensed it in the way his breathing changed and how he was slowly drawing patterns on the back of her hand with his thumb while still holding her hand.
She opened her eyes realizing they were lying on the back seat of a car. Everything from last night came involuntarily back to her.
I have powers.
He didn't have to tell her that much she gathered from the sensation inside her which burst out and caused the house to shook and the windows to break. She also remembered him telling her last night as he carried her before he laid her into the passenger's seat and drove off.
She couldn't move or speak, but she remembered all of it.
Vanya sighed before she rolled around Five moving his hand to help her not to fall as she buried herself against his chest, her eyes opened.
'Did it all happen?' she asked softly, her voice as small as she felt in that moment. She wished all of it was a dream, and she had still a few hours before she needed to wake up. She didn't feel ready at all for a new day at all even with Five by her side. She didn't feel ready.
Five nodded his hand firmly but smoothly on her back rubbing calming circles into it, 'Yes.'
She sighed and closed her eyes, 'What do we do now?'
'What do you want to do?' he asked, his voice calm and even.
'I don't know,' she said and then opened her eyes to look at him.
He didn't look tired or scared and she was infinitely grateful for it as she was feeling like she might as well jump out of her skin, 'I'm terrified.'
He offered her a soft look. Something he had reserved only for her, and she couldn't help a small blush every time he did.
'It's alright. You don't have to-'
'But I am,' she said raising her voice a bit before she shut her mouth covering it immediately with her hand. She didn't move a muscle and waited, but nothing happened.
Oh, right, father gave her some sedative. Maybe even something to numb her powers? Definitely something to numb her powers, but it didn't sound like such a terrible thing now as she felt her head stopped feeling like it would explode from all the sounds.
She looked up at Five again who let his hand lightly stroke her hair, 'Well, I'm not. So if you want, I'll be brave for the two of us in this.'
She sighed again before she pressed closer to him moving her hand away from her mouth.
Five hugged her closer pulling her as close to him as the backseat they were both lying on allowed.
Vanya closed her eyes, 'I feel like I'm going to wake up soon, and all of this will be a bad dream.'
'Is that what you would want?' he asked, his voice was flat, but she knew better, he was covering his emotions.
'Would you want not to know about the Commission, the future, your powers, all of it?' he asked and waited.
She thought about it. She tried to imagine what it was like to be thirteen right before Five ran away or even before when they were just two kids sleeping in the same bed. It was hard to remember the simple times in crisis like these.
She opened her eyes, 'Sometimes. I'm not brave like you.'
Oh the irony. All she ever wanted growing up were powers so she could be a part of the Umbrella Academy. She remembered praying for them, any kind, even something ridiculous and look at her now? She had the ability to end the world. She did end the world and if the Handler lady wasn't lying, many times. She caused the apocalypse again and again...
Right now she would give anything not to have her powers. Literally anything.
He looked down at her again his gaze so intense, 'You're braver than you think, Vanya. You're braver than you show.'
She felt her heart speed up from the way he was looking at her. He was so close. Yesterday, right before the Commission came, he kissed her. She remembered that as well, and she remembered other things, her dreams. She remembered being in the bunker/cell whatever and talking with him about well their future in some cabin, and they kissed. She was an adult and he was thirteen only not really and they kissed then as well.
Five must have heard her heart by now with how loudly it was hitting her chest case.
Her eyes landed on his lips for a moment. With everything on their plate it should be the last thing on her mind, and yet, she wondered what would it be like if she just leaned higher and kiss him.
Before she could put more thought into it, she felt her stomach let out an annoying sound demanding food.
Embarrassed she closed her eyes and pressed her face against his chest feeling him shake a bit from a soft laugher.
'Hungry?' he asked teasingly.
'Yes,' she said feeling hot in the face not just from her stomach but also because of wanting to kiss him again.
She looked up at him trying to look cross, he was making fun of her, but failing upon seeing him looking at her like that.
'Then let's go eat.'
They carefully sat up without hurting one another or falling from the backseat.
Vanya looked around realizing something, 'This isn't father's car.'
Five opened the door, 'No.'
She followed him outside, 'You stole a car?'
'Yes,' he said shrugging his shoulders before he smirked, 'Problem?'
Vanya watched him for a moment before she chuckled shaking her head, 'You're insane.'
'We need a quick means of transport. I couldn't just carry out a girl on foot. Solution? Car. Sir Reginald taught us how to drive when we were like twelve,' he reminded her.
'Taught you how to driver,' she said and looked at the car and the parking lot Five had parked it. She noted there were no cameras. Good call. Then again Five wasn't an amateur, and he never did anything half way.
She sighed and looked around, 'So where to?'
Five looked at her for a moment before he smirked, 'Actually. How hungry are you right now?'
Vanya blinked, 'I guess not that much, why?'
'Let's just get something small now. I have an idea,' said and he smirked in that way which made her thrilled and scared all at once. She loved that smirked.
Vanya looked over at Five, 'So on our first day as runaways. This is what you want to do? Watch me wreck some car?' she asked as she sat behind the wheel of a car Five stole.
'Honestly,' he said as he looked over at her from the passenger's seat, 'there is nothing I would want to see more,' he said.
They finished their hotdogs when Five took her back to the car and suggested to teach her how to drive. They were out in the open had almost too much time on their hands, and zero purpose. Seemed like the good time as any to do something rebelling and totally not appropriate in the situation.
'You're a bit insane, you know that?' she asked and raised her eyebrow as she tried to feel everything. She never sat in the driver's seat before. It felt a bit like it was too much of a responsibility all at once, but also a bit freeing.
He looked over at her with the serious face she ever saw, 'Just a bit isn't much.'
She grinned before she tapped her fingers against the steering wheel, 'Okay, teach me.'
'Not yet, I want a kiss,' he said pressing his back against the seat and the car door on his side almost in a lazy manner.
She looked at him sure her face gave away everything which was going through her mind from shyness to embarrassment to thrill.
Gosh, how could he-?
Just so-?
Just blur it out like that?
Vanya rolled her eyes trying to act coyly even though she knew the pink on her cheeks must have gave her away, 'So it's blackmail?'
'More like mutually beneficial agreement,' he said earning a pinch into the elbow which he didn't block in time.
'Au! Vanya!'
'You were saying?' she asked sweetly and Five looked at her for a moment before he moved over.
Vanya blinked feeling a little bit shy as he sat closer to her almost pressing his face against hers if he moved even an inch closer.
He looked into her. His eyes were completely captivating as he stared into hers. How could this boy just be so beautiful? So...so freaking breathtaking? Like every time she thought she had the upper hand he did something like this and she was a shaking mess under his gaze just begging for his attention and affection like a dog.
'Check your mirrors first,' he said like the smartass that he was.
She felt her cheeks go red from embarrassment before she threw him an annoyed look, 'You're such a jerk-'
He kissed her before she could finish stealing her breath away as he buried his hand at the back of her neck and the hair there.
Just like that...he kissed her. Again. Just like that. Like this was something they did often, like it was not a big deal like...like he didn't know he was literally killing her when he did that? Like he was making her go all soft and her heart to speed up and just all those ridiculous feelings from a simple press of his lips against hers in an activity which lasted less than a second or two?
'Do I really need to spell it out for you?' he asked bring her back from her train of thoughts.
The words could be meant as something harsh, but with the soft look in his eyes and the almost shy pink on his own cheeks Vanya recognized his own insecurities.
Five...just so confident, and cocky and cold and just so full of himself, with his ego filling the whole room all that. It was easy to miss that he was in fact just a teenager too. He was just a person, a man, and he had fears and doubts and all of those things like anyone else. The boy, with the ability to do the impossible, the strategist and pragmatic always with a plan, but still a boy, still flawed, still scared of disappointment and failure as they all were. In a house where no one ever said I love you how can you just say it?
Vanya thought briefly about the future Five, the one who just said it even though he knew she couldn't say it back with the same meaning as he felt it for her future self. He just said it. But that Five only said it because he lost her, because he knew what it was like not to be able to say it. Neither her or Five from this time were experienced in such way and thank God for that.
She couldn't imagine going through that. She couldn't imagine surviving that.
She let go of the wheel. Her hands found his cheeks softly covering them as she kissed him taking her time, lingering a second longer.
Once she leaned away and looked at him, she hoped she showed as much fondness and love as she felt for him.
'No, but don't expect me to say it either. You're going to have to say it first,' she smiled to herself, 'Earn it.'
She sort of didn't want him to say it. Not yet at least. Not until he well was ready. She knew he love her. She knew she loved him. That much she knew. For now...yes for now it was enough. Even if everything around them was shit, this was theirs, this was the one thing they knew and had. Each other and their love.
'Excuse me?'
She couldn't help a playful smirk to paint across her face, 'I won't say it first. You will.'
Five watched her for a moment before he grinned in that fucking hot way which always turned her knees into a puddle, 'Very well, so a game. You do realize I beat you every time in...well every game we ever played.'
'I'm feeling pretty confident,' she said and check the mirrors, 'You did kiss me first three times now.'
He rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling.
'Don't get cocky,' he said, and she made sure she had everything as she should have before she started the car, 'Too late.'
She felt ridiculous really.
This should have been the last thing on her to do list. She had to stop the apocalypse, learn to control her powers, and somehow outsmart the commission in less than 13 years, and here she was on the same parking lot as this morning learning how to drive. It was ridiculous, and she seriously thought Five had gone mad when he stole the car again and brought them back here.
But here they were with him trying to teach her how to drive, and her enjoying every second of it trying to detach herself from everything else which was going on.
'Not bad,' he said after about almost three hours of her practising.
She looked over him and couldn't help a proud grin, 'Thanks.'
Maybe they could figure this out somehow. The driver but mostly the apocalypse. Yes, mostly the apocalypse.
Five pushed the door open for as they got into the dinner for lunch. It looked like a busy hour with lots of booths and tables full, but there were still a few empty. It was almost twelve, and they got hungry. So far they just decided to avoid places they might be recognized. Being dressed in casual clothing helped to blend in a bit.
It was better now that they were older, Vanya noticed not many people paid extra attention to two teens on the street.
She looked around at the family with kids wondering what the rest of their siblings were doing right now, and what did their father tell them about Five and her disappearing like that. She was worried. She was scared to think he was somehow blaming them or making them look for them.
She didn't want to go back, not yet at least. She didn't know what to do. Father wanted to lock her up like she was some animal. Sure, her powers were destructive, and she asked Luther in the future to lock her up, but that was her call to make. Not his.
She was lost in her thoughts when she hit Five's back.
'Sorry,' she mumbled before she blinked.
He was standing in the way.
Why-?
She stepped on her toes and looked over his shoulder. Five grew quite a bit since they were kids.
She didn't understand why his shoulders were so tense until she spotted the man with dark hair with his hand waving at them.
'That's the guy-'
'Yes, the Fixer,' mumbled Five even his voice carrying a serious and dangerous tone.
'Should we go over to him?' asked Vanya slowly. She still had a weird feeling from the guy. He and the woman who made her shot herself were the same. They worked for the Commission. But last night the man acted decent enough. He let her go and stand by Five as he checked his memories.
Vanya still wasn't sure how was it that the test had failed since Five really was the Five from the future, but it was a good thing it did. She doubted the woman would go so easily if it didn't.
'Five?' asked Vanya slowly before she felt him sigh, 'It's not a coincidence he's here now.'
She looked at the man as he lazily put his hand now. He wasn't smiling now, but he had the same polite look as yesterday.
Vanya still felt like her stomach was turning from the man, but she took Five's hand, 'Then we should go find out what he wants.'
Five spared her a single short glance before he nodded and they walked together hand in hand to the Fixer's booth, 'Have a seat, please.'
Five sat down first with Vanya as close to him as possible just as the waitress came and put down some pancakes and an omelette in front of them, 'Enjoy, dears.'
They looked over at her and then at the man who shrugged, 'I figured after last night events you might be a bit hungry and low on cash.'
Five and Vanya shared a look before he nodded at her knowing she was hungry since morning.
She very carefully took the plate while keeping her eyes on the man not eating yet. She didn't feel comfortable yet.
'So what is this?' asked Five, 'I thought you said you would leave in peace if I passed your test-'
'Let's not kid ourselves,' said the man calmly immediately getting to the point, 'You didn't pass. All three of us know you're the Five from the future. You don't have your previous memories, but you're him.'
'So what you want to drag me to the Commission for the sentence?' barked Five.
Vanya felt his hand on hers jerked a bit. He was trying very hard to keep himself in check.
'If I wanted that I would agree with the Handle, call your bluff, and drag you there last night,' said the man calmly while sipping his coffee.
'I don't use violence until it's absolute necessity. I find it quite barbaric. A smart person always knows how to end a conflict without violence,' he explained as he set the mug down.
'I came to...discuss your options. For now the Commission did not notice Vanya's little outburst, shall we call it, from last night?'
Vanya tensed now even more as he referred to her doing whatever the hell it was that she was doing, 'But you did.'
'Let's cut the chase, me and you and you,' he looked at Vanya, 'We're familiar or we will be in the future. That being set I own you a certain favour.'
Vanya blinked confused.
Her? A favour?
'For what?'
'Let just say you saved someone very dear to me,' said the man for a second letting an emotion cross his face before it was gone and the reserved polite look was back.
'So you want to make sure Vanya does it again? Why not save the person yourself?' asked Five immediately.
'It doesn't work like that, I'm afraid. The Handler and I don't exactly get along and the Commission loves leverages and things they can used against someone's advantage,' explained the man, 'Therefore, I cannot be around and do what needs to be done myself. Vanya, on the other hand, already did, and I believe she will again,' explained the man before he looked at her.
'However, what you did last night will cause people and by that I mean the field agents to notice. If they notice that you used and know about your powers before 2019 they will try to take you to the future and start the apocalypse up front.'
'How do you know this?' asked Five, and the man sighed, 'Because they already did. In the past, well future, well different alternative timeline, it's hard to wrap one's mind around, but it happened.'
'So she wasn't lying,' said Vanya suddenly before she swallowed a bit.
'What?' asked Five with a frown, and she looked over at him, 'She said...when she convinced me to...,' Vanya tapped against her temple her hand shaking as was her voice, 'She said it wasn't the first time. She said that this happened all the time and that it always ended with me causing the apocalypse. Always.'
She looked at the man for confirmation. He watched her for a moment again something crossed his face before he said, 'To be completely honest with you, yes.'
Vanya let out a broken breath. She felt sick to her stomach as her fear was taking over. She caused the apocalypse. She caused it all the time, over and over again.
Five squeezed her hand, 'Hey, hey! Look at me.'
She shifted her eyes to his and tried to remember how to breath again, 'I'm here, alright? Just breath, okay?'
She nodded although it was more for his benefit then her own.
'But,' said the Fixer sudden causing her attention to fall back on him, 'every time, including this one, it's a new leaf for you. Right now, what's happening never happened before.'
'What do you mean?' asked Five, 'You said she already revealed her powers and they kidnapped her to the future-'
'Correct, but it wasn't last night. It was 2012,' said the man before he leaned closer, 'Right now. What is happening never happened before. You,' he pointed at Five, 'Never travelled back in time the way you did in this timeline. Right now, anything is possible if you play it right.'
'Play it right?' asked Five, 'How?'
'Well, if we're lucky someone might erased the little incident from last night, and if we're even more lucky someone might start training to control her powers a bit better,' he said and looked at Vanya.
'But-but, I remember we couldn't. I tried, but it felt like this unstoppable force and-'
'And you tried for what four days?' asked the man sarcastically, 'Look, once just once you got close. Very close. You stopped taking your pills the day Five runaway from the Commission, and you actually did control them enough to block them I suppose.'
'But I still destroyed the world,' said Vanya, and the man looked a bit unsure for once, 'No, uh, Five and some of your siblings got killed, and it worked like a trigger for you.'
Vanya looked at her hands, 'How will I even do it? How can I even like...train this if the Commission knows everything?'
'They don't know everything. They know enough, but they don't have cameras in your house. When you shake a house and cause windows to break they notice, but if you would to train somewhere dark and without a noise, it could be manageable.'
'So what you want to train her?' asked Five, she could see he was clenching his jaw with how upset he was.
'Jealous much? No, you will do it, if you're up for it,' said the man and smiled a bit at him almost daringly, 'But not the way you are now. As charming as being a sixteen year old boy is, you need more experience,' he said and pulled out a small case.
'What's that?'
'An injection of something I have cooked up in our labs. This should ease the memories which are currently being suppressed by the new timeline to you. You will remember the old one as well as the new ones,' said the Fixer, 'No brain damage as sigh effect. I'm very proud of it actually.'
'I-I thought Five lost those memories. They got erased to make room for new ones,' said Vanya eyeing the case confused.
'No, they were never erased just pushed to the sub-conscious the way dreams can be, or unimportant details, or traumatic events.'
The last one got her to shiver again. Traumatic events. She remembered how Five, the old Five, looked when he came back, just so shallow and broke, she dread he would end up like that again. Like his whole world died after he watched her die.
'This will help me get them out? Won't that be too much for my brain?' asked Five sceptical and rightfully so.
'We already had test subject. There aren't side effects, it's just that it takes time. Once you inject yourself it might take a while before the memories will start coming back and even if they do they might seem a bit surreal to you, like a dream,' said the Fixer before he asked another one of the waitress for two more mugs for Five and Vanya.
She looked over at Five trying to determinate what he was thinking. This could be their key to many things. They wouldn't need the notebook if Five had his memories back.
Her eyes moved to the Fixer. She still felt hesitated about trusting the man. He looked almost too good to be true.
'Why?' asked Five suddenly clearly reading her mind, 'I get whoever Vanya saves is important to you, but you are talking about stopping the apocalypse for good if Vanya could control her powers. You work for the Commission, you have a title and those soldier from last night listen to your every command so you must have a high rank there. Why go against all that? Vanya could save the person and still cause the apocalypse.'
The Fixer watched him for a moment as the waitress brought them their coffee.
'Let's just say that it is more complicated than that. Not everyone in the Commission wants an apocalypse. In fact many are sceptical about the future of the Commission if we cause it,' said the man, 'The point is, it's hard for the people with higher rank than my own to admit a mistake when they cause one. The apocalypse is just the last cry for help to fix things. But maybe it's not about fixing as much as about not breaking them in the first place,' explained the man without explaining anything at all.
'I believe that if Vanya doesn't cause the apocalypse by controlling her powers. The Commission will have to admit that it was a stupid idea to begin with and call it a day.'
'So it all comes down to me learning control or not,' said Vanya feeling a shiver run through her body, 'No pressure.'
The Fixer looked at her, 'The apocalypse happened many time, Vanya. And after that, there was nothing. Just...nothing. The history is a busy place, and we always had agents around to make sure it runs its course. Many started to speculate if we had enough agents as new anomalies kept on appearing and appearing. Some took the apocalypse as blessing. An end to the history which meant no more new anomalies, nowhere else to spread, to go, an end to the story.'
'Half of the journey is the end,' said Five suddenly looking the Fixer who smiled at him.
'But no story ends with everyone gone on April the 1st 2019 that's just...unacceptable, dull, a terrible end really. If the world is meant to end it should end on its own terms not because we pushed it toward our own ending. The first time? The absolutely first time it happened, it was an accident, which somehow convince someone in the Commission that it would be a perfect ending to the story. After that they just started to produce it over and over again to make it feel like a right ending, but it's not.'
Vanya watched him for a moment taking it all in and sort her thoughts. It felt too much. Too overwhelming for someone like her. She was...she lived her life in the shadows of her family, their family name, the house. Even if she gave into Five compliments and praise, she was still just herself. Just a girl, an ordi-okay not ordinary, but she wasn't a member of the Academy. She wasn't a hero. She wasn't this big whatever who would come and save the day from the evil organization, from herself, from her powers. She was just small girl.
In her thoughts she somehow came back to the moment in her cage right before the attack, before she shot herself, Five begged her to believe him, trust him that he could fix it, save the world, and she did. With all her heart, soul and being she trusted that Five could do all that and save the day, but not her. She never trusted herself to do it, but she sort of did.
She shot herself and stopped the apocalypse. Sure, Five travelled back in time to her and maybe she travelled somehow spiritually with him or just gained an ability to see her previous timeline, but that one time she did stop the apocalypse even if by killing herself in the process.
'So you think that if I somehow magically learn control,' she started causing both males to look at her, 'The Commission won't trigger me somehow you said they did it once? What is stopping them-'
'The longest you learned was eight days,' said the Fixer, 'and even in those eight days you gained some control. If you start now, 13 years before the actual thing, I know you will control it, and save the day.'
She felt Five squeeze her hand again making her look at him, 'Don't think for a moment that I'm buying what he's selling.'
From all the stress and intensity she chuckled humourlessly.
'But right now, we don't have a lot of options,' said Five, 'and he has a point,' he looked at the Fixer who smiled back at him even though Five's face was serious making him know he didn't trust him, 'If you learned to control them, it could only be used to our advantage.'
Vanya watched him for a moment before she nodded. He was right of course.
She looked at the man, 'What about the Umbrella Academy. They're looking for us and father knows-'
'I also have an idea about that,' said the Fixer calmly before he nodded at their food and coffee, 'Now, eat up kids, we got time for that.'
Now
Vanya crashed against Five's chest as they suddenly appeared on the street in the night with nothing but a few lights in the windows' on.
No one was around to see two teenagers and a man with a suitcase on the street.
'You sure we're no longer in the house,' said Five looking suspicious at their house. It looked quiet.
'Absolutely,' said the Fixer staring at it as well looking a bit lost in thoughts.
Vanya watched his profile for a bit thinking he had a very familiar face for some reason.
He noticed her stare and glance down at her, 'Well, all you need to do is get into your rooms now. It's the night after the attack. I think you just finished cleaning.'
He looked over at Five, 'Will you be able to get out of the house to the warehouse I arrange for you?'
Five nodded, 'Don't worry about it. I discussed some things with my father before we ran away. Since we didn't this time around, he will let us have days off.'
'Very well,' said the man before he took a step back, 'I believe you can get inside on your own?'
Five nodded shortly while the man turned to Vanya noting that she still must have looked worried, 'Try not to look so suspicious? I have faith in you to do it right this time.'
She wished he wouldn't say that. Even if she thought the man had hidden motives and was shady, she didn't like anyone having faith in her in this. Now when she was sure it would backfire at all of them soon.
She still nodded before she took Five's hand again.
He easily teleported them up to her room just as their mom called, 'Lights out, children.'
It was a battle in her stomach after just time travelled a few minutes ago, but she took a deep breath and put her hand on Five's shoulder for support.
'How's your neck?' asked Vanya a bit worried trying to think on something else than the second plate of food she definitely should have skipped.
She was referring to the needle he got with the serum.
Five touched the side of his neck, 'Didn't even feel it. And I'm starting to doubt it would work. No new memories or anything.'
'The Fixer said you would need some trigger or time, maybe after you sleep over it,' she said and brushed her shoulder as her stomach returned to normal.
'God, how do you do this? It's like...urgh,' she shook her head.
Five looked over at her and shrugged his shoulders, 'Practise. I don't notice it and get sick anymore. It's like ridding the rollercoaster for the millionth time. It gets dull.'
The girl took a deep breath again and sat down on her bed with a loud noise, 'I can't do this.'
'Why not? You already did,' he said and turned the lights out walking toward her before he sat down next to her.
'No, really, I can't. I'm...I'm not...I don't know,' she said shaking her head. She felt tired and very confused in the moment. She had no idea what to do. It was all too much for her.
Five pulled her into an embrace putting his chin on top of her head as she sank into him.
'I know it's too much,' he whispered, but in the dark and quiet of her room it sounded almost too loud.
She dug her fingers into his shirt.
She could feel the familiar sensation inside her again. The sedative have worn off and her powers were being awoken again. She could feel them crawling under her skin.
'I'm scared I will fail and do it again, and then...my other self who won't remember any of this will do it again and again and I-'
She felt him move his head and kiss her forehead. His kisses were so soft like she was something utterly fragile and delicate.
'You won't. We won't.'
She closed her eyes for a moment trying to tune everything but him out. Trying to focus only on him with his face close to hers and his arms around her. It must have been the silence of the room, the house, but Vanya heard his heartbeat more profoundly than ever before.
She almost smiled. Five had a lovely heartbeat. It was a bit speeded up even when he was motionless. Even if he always looked calm and in place, he felt...he carried this feeling about him like he could move any second, charge at you almost predatorily. At least that was how she saw him. She knew he could be cold blooded, vicious and sharp, but not with her, yet she felt almost afraid sometimes. He wouldn't hurt her on purpose. She knew that much.
Vanya let her fingers run into his hair catching his attention to her face as she looked at him in the dark.
He would never hurt her, but he could. She loved him completely and at times it felt almost like it was too much. Just like now, if felt as if everything was crashing down on her and yet because he told her they would make it, she could feel herself believing him.
She could hear his heart beat speeding up, above the average as her fingers continued to stroke the back of his head digging almost a bit too sharply into his sculp. He didn't complain. He didn't tell her to stop.
Even in the dark his green eyes burnt bright.
His hand moved to her cheek slowly caressing it before he leaned down and kissed her softly. It was barely a kiss, just a peek, but she didn't let him far away and put her arms around his neck pulling him closer. She felt cold. She needed him to warm her up.
He pulled her closer causing her almost to sit on his lap as he deepened the second kiss moving his lips against hers before she let his tongue in. It felt nothing like those three kisses she got from him before. It felt intense, alive just like him. It was movement and action just like everything she felt he was. She wondered for what it must feel like for him. She was as opposite to him as they come, so what did it feel like when they kissed like this? Or was he dominant enough to cover for the both of them.
She didn't know what possessed her, but she found herself nibbling down at his lower lip before she pulled it a bit between her teeth making them drag over it. Maybe she was a little bit wilder than she would like to admit.
She admitted and took pride in the soft groan he let out when she did that even if just for a second, because the next things she knew he had her in his arms pulling her into his lap urging the kisses.
Vanya felt that it was almost too much with the way he kept on pulling her closer while devouring her lips in feverish kisses. She felt her heart was ready to jump out of her chest any second and that couldn't be good.
Her hands pushed at his chest after a while as she panted. She was never good in holding her breath for too long.
Five kissed her cheek, then chin and then moved to her neck before he found a delicate spot there which caused her to let out the most obscene sound she ever heard herself produce. Even when she was alone in her room discovering herself she never let out that sound.
She felt his lips pulled into that devilish smirk of his against the spot, 'Oh, this is new.'
'Shut up,' she said feeling embarrassed and hot. She tried to push away to calm herself down, but he grabbed the wrist of the hand which was pushing against him and brought it to his lips.
She swallowed as she saw him kiss her there softly again.
He was still smirking as he grabbed her waist and tried to tickle her all of the sudden. He was the most unpredictable person she knew at times.
'Shit! Don't, Five!' she snapped trying to keep her voice down as much as possible, 'Do you want the whole house to know you're here?'
He kissed her neck again making her breath hitched before he spoke, 'A part of me does.'
She pulled away from him enough to look at him before she shook her head fondly at him.
Five brushed her hair and face before he planted a tender kiss on her lips once more, 'We will fix this. Together. Like always. Like everything.'
She watched him. She wanted to believe him. Maybe it was because she was young and hopeful and she didn't know the profound pain of losing him for so long, or the cruel experience her future self had to go through without him in the old time line, but she believed him.
'Just don't let me tear up the house,' she said trying to light up the mood, not sure how to handle more intensity in the last 24 hours than she already did.
'Same,' he said and she loved him even more for it.
She kissed him one more time before she looked at him, 'Stay the night?'
'Of course,' he said looking at her with such fondness she didn't move for a very long time just enjoying the moment alone with him in the dark before they finally went to sleep.
A.N: I know, I know, I haven't posted for a while, but I got well a bit stuck with some parts here, and I wasn't sure how to really put them out there, so it might sound weird, and it is a bit shorter than what you are use to by now. I only have a couple of ideas to finish before the ending so I actually think I will very soon have the last chapter. Maybe 2-3 more chapters? I hope you liked it. Thank you for all the support and reading. If you want leave some feedback.