2005 – New Timeline
Vanya watched as Five left.
It wasn't the first time, and she doubted it would be the last.
He said he arranged a meeting with the Fixer, and that when he would come back, they could talk some more. She wasn't sure she believed him. Anything could happen, and it was just as likely that he would try to jump back in time to his old timeline.
It wouldn't be the first time Five left her.
Ever since she could remember, Five always left, or rather she watched him leave. A lot of times it wasn't his fault. The nannies didn't want them to be in one room after they announce bedtime. Dad ordered him to train and missions. He couldn't do anything about it. But Vanya was still there to witness him leaving regardless of whose fault it was. Sometimes he left because he wanted to. At first, it was because he had his own interest and hobbies during their spare time. He worked on his research and equations. They were important to him as much as her violin was important to her. She didn't blame him, but she still tried not to look so bothered by his departures.
She still thought her smiles were rather tragic when she secretly practiced them in front of the mirror, so she rather didn't smile at all when he was leaving her if she could help it.
Sometimes when he left it wasn't just to the next room or on a mission he would come back from in a day or two. Sometimes, he left her cruelly like when he spared her a final look before he ran away from the dining table into the future. She didn't want to blame him. She really didn't. He suffered more than enough for it, and that was something she would never wish for him, but she still couldn't help the bitterness inside her chest whenever she thought about those times knowing this was her fate.
Five always leaves.
Vanya always watches him go incapable of stopping him.
She wiped her face and the tears that fell down knowing it was no use. Five made up his mind. Five wanted to save the ghost version of her. She couldn't hold it against him. Even if she wanted to…just a little bit…just enough to feel something else than the horrible crushing pain of knowing that their time together was once again numbered.
Her hands pressed against her chest as she tried to calm down knowing she should take an extra pill today so she wouldn't accidentally blow their cover and use her powers. However, she found herself incapable of doing so. She just couldn't help herself but to continue sitting on her bed softly crying and drowning in her own pain.
She would lose him. She knew she would and to herself of all people. She felt ridiculously cheated by the fact that this was happening. Why her? Why them? Why always them? Were they really destined only for this? For their lives and love come out as a disaster every damn time?
She wasn't sure she could handle the answer any more than she could handle the knowledge of not knowing it.
Roughly a few hours passed since she watched Five leave her and the more time went by the more she started to wonder if he didn't manage to convince the Fixer to help him somehow. What would happen now? Would another version of him come back? One that jumped to 2019? Would he not come back at all?
She didn't know. She didn't dare to think or imagine it.
She needed to do something.
Brushing her tears away and trying to compose herself, she marched to the room next to hers knocking on the door at first lightly and then violently when she got no answer.
'Klaus! Open up!' she almost shouted sensing even Diego opened his door to look what was the noise all about.
'Just open it,' said the other teen, 'Either he's jerking off or smoking weed. Either way, he never locks.'
She made a grimace disgusted from the possibility she could stumble upon that if Klaus was inside momentarily forgetting her situation before she made up her mind and opened the door stepping in.
Her eyes shut close as she called out, 'Can I open my eyes?'
'I'm not decent,' came back the voice and she grimaced but waited until she heard no sound of movement and opened her eyes.
She shot Klaus a glare as he was perfectly dressed just laying across his bed looking at some magazine, 'Really?'
He shrugged his shoulders before he rolled to his back with a catlike grin across his face, 'What can I do for the second half of the cutest Umbrella Academy incest couple?'
Vanya could feel the heat bursting into her cheeks as she tried to process what he just said before she shook her head, 'Don't say stuff like that.'
Klaus put his arms behind his head, 'Why not? It's true, or not?'
She raised her brows, 'What about your crush on Diego?'
He didn't seem too bothered by being called out on it, but that was always the difference between her and Klaus she supposed. He didn't seem too embarrassed by most of the things he did, 'It comes and goes. Sometimes I have a crush on Diego, sometimes I have a crush on you. You should wear your boyfriend's pants more often.'
She tried not to get flushed remembering why did she come here in the first place. Also, it happened only one time.
'I want to talk to your ghost friend,' she said and Klaus rolled his eyes dramatically tossing his head against the pillow, 'What the hell? No one is ever interested in ghosts from you people and now everyone wants to make a friend?'
'Klaus, please,' she said and took a step closer, 'It's important.'
'So is me finding out why Sienna Miller and Jude Law are divorcing,' he said and tried to grab his magazine again, but Vanya literally ripped it out of his hands, 'Klaus, I need your help. I never ask you for anything. Literally never, and you take my clothes wear them, and never even return them. I never question anything you do or ask for you to give back the money I lent you. I never even tell Five because we both know he would take them from you one way or another.'
Klaus gave her a disbelieving look, 'Seriously, first Five and now you are threatening me? What the hell is with this family today?'
'Please, Klaus,' she said and sighed, 'I really need to talk to her.'
Klaus crossed his arms, 'Okay-'
'Thank you-'
'If you will tell me why is she so important, I will try to get her to show up,' he said, and Vanya blinked, 'Show up? You can make her visible?'
He shrugged his shoulder trying to look like it wasn't a big deal, 'It's a new development, don't get all fangirl on me, okay little Vanya?'
She offered a nod although she wasn't sure what else she could say to that and watched as Klaus started to concentrate looking rather funny as he did so before she heard something behind her and turned around only to find someone slowly materializing in front of her eyes.
'I'll be in the hallways. Shout if you need me,' said Klaus, but Vanya kept her eyes on the ghost slowly coming to reality in front of her eyes ignoring the medium who brought her.
Vanya inhaled sharply as the blue ghost of a woman, who appeared in front of her.
She expected the woman to look like her, and she did. She was petite like her and with the same round face so Vanya knew it was her. Klaus wouldn't just summon some random-looking ghost and even if he did the woman look too much like her for her not to think they were the same person. It crossed Vanya's mind that if they stood next to each other they could maybe look like a mother and daughter or sisters, but the resemblance was too profound for that. Yet, she couldn't help but feel bizarre and address the woman as ghost Vanya in her mind as well. It was one thing to talk about it, and another to actually get to see the woman in the flesh-well blue light. She was here. She was her. She was real.
Swallowing a bit hard, Vanya felt everything she wanted to say or ask leave her mind as she stared at the woman wondering how much better she was than her if Five was willing to sacrifice his happiness for her, even if it was ridiculous since it was still her.
'H-hi,' she said feeling awkward as she did so, hearing Klaus's chuckle from the hallway and feeling even more embarrassed than she did before.
The older ghost version of her looked a bit tired, 'You have to convince him to stay. It…won't change anything for me if he goes. It will just…erase me.'
Vanya wasn't sure what to say to that. It made sense though. If Five went to his timeline and change it everything the ghost version of Vanya experienced would be forgotten. He wouldn't save her. But how could she tell him that? How could she make him accept that? If the places were reversed, she would have done everything she could to save him too. At least she hoped she would.
Looking at the barely visible stains on her ghost self's hair and clothes, she was reminded that she already did. She killed herself to save him. She killed herself to save the world.
'I'm sorry this happened,' she found herself saying and shook her head, 'What you did…you saved your timeline. You saved Five and…I…,' she looked at her hoping she could understand the sudden wave of guilt Vanya felt, 'You did everything for me to have a shot with Five, not you…You sacrificed yourself and got nothing in return,' she said feeling her heartache the more she realized she was willing to let Five leave and go save this version of her because she deserved it. She did so much. She saved everyone. She died a hero of the story she was born and raised to be the ultimate villain. How could Vanya compete with that? How could she ever accept such sacrifice and live happily?
The ghost shook her head and stepped closer, 'Don't even think about it. I…I did what I had to do. There wasn't any other way, or maybe I just didn't allow there to be any way that would end in my siblings or Five being hurt. But you're wrong. I got plenty in return,' she smiled at her, and Vanya felt oddly touched by the smile for a moment almost stunned as the woman continued, 'The pills…they took a lot from our childhood memories. But being here I got to see everything. I got to help Klaus more than I ever did when I was a kid,' she chuckled looking like she could cry herself while still smiling brightly the more she spoke, 'When I was thirteen Five left and didn't come back, but here I got to see him come back and stay. I got to see what life could have been. Here I got to see Ben alive and well and our family not as broken as it was in my timeline. It may not be perfect, but believe me, it is way better than it used to be,' she looked away and then back at her, 'And I got to see myself.'
Vanya realized why her smile stunned her so much. It was because people never really saw the way they smiled. Not when they were truly happy at the moment experiencing something they liked or enjoyed. People only felt their smiles, but never saw them. Not the way, Vanya was allowed to now. She could tell the ghost was happy. Happier than she ever saw herself in the mirror or in any picture. Vanya didn't think she was pretty. No matter what Five told her, she just wasn't. She was average looking, standard at best. Not like Allison. Not like the celebrities they sometimes met at missions. But looking at herself smiling like that she couldn't help but admit to herself that she really looked beautiful and someone worthy of all those amazing things Five whispered about her looks when they were alone.
'My life…was just me staying alive day by day in this grey world all alone. I had no one. Just my violin and at times I thought that I didn't even have that because I never felt like I was good enough. A lot of it was because dad, Five and Ben and what happened to our family, but a lot of it was because of the pills and my hidden powers, but so much of it was because of the loneliness that came with all of it.'
Vanya felt tears rolling down her eyes as she remembered the times Five was away on missions or training and she was all alone in her room feeling alone and worthless. She remembered all those memories or dreams she had of the life of her ghost version always alone, always sad, always numb. It made her want to cry, but the ghost woman took another step closer, 'No, don't. It's a good thing. I got to see it, I got to experience it through you. You…you're me. Five's Five. It doesn't change who we are. We're just happier here and now, and I will forever be grateful for that. I always wondered what would have it been like if Five never left or if he came sooner, and this was better…millionth times better than anything I could ever imagine. Five and me…we're together. We're happy. Everything else isn't important.'
Vanya brushed her face the woman so close to her now she could reach out and touch her. They were the same height. They wore the same face only difference was the age. They were the same woman.
'You deserve more,' complained Vanya wishing she could do something more for the woman, for her sacrifice, for her love and devotion.
'I got more than I could ever ask for,' said the ghost her smile still open and bright not a single piece of sadness or regret anywhere on her face, 'I got to see my happy ending through you…through me.'
She tried to talk, but the ghost continued, 'I guess our lives were tragic from the moment we were born, but they only become a real tragedy the day he left and got stuck. Those eight days were just borrowed time. Enough to make him fall in love with me again. Enough to come back here to you to have a proper and good life. I don't want him to save me or try to save me. I want him to stay here and be with me, with you, with us.'
Vanya closed her eyes tilting her head away, 'This should have been your life. Your happy ending.'
'It is,' said ghost Vanya, and it didn't even surprise her that she was still smiling when she looked at her again, 'and it's great. Better than I could ever ask for. I am with Five, I know about my powers and train them, Ben is alive, Klaus and the others aren't as broken as they used to be, and I'm so much more than I ever thought I could be. I'm really proud of myself. At your version of myself.'
Vanya sobbed as the woman looked at her with such devotion and care, it caused her to feel more emotional than ever barely holding onto her feelings and power. To know that a version of her was proud and happy about what kind of person she was, was the heaviest, most intense, and amazing feeling she ever felt in her entire life.
'You should remember that, Vanya. You made yourself feel proud of yourself,' said the ghost still looking at her making her feel like she wanted to cry some more feeling so touched and honored by her own words, 'That's just how amazing of a person you become which is why I know I more than I ever deserved. Because all my life I could only wish to be like you…like this version of me. I wanted to be so brave and good and open, but I couldn't…because of that loneliness but also because I never felt I could be strong enough. So thank you, I'm grateful to have got a chance to see that I could have been and to see how amazing of life I could have had if I was.'
Vanya covered her mouth shaking her head feeling the woman's praise and words were too much. This wasn't even what she wanted to talk with her about and she just-she just- she completely tore her apart with her words. She would never imagine in her life she could be proud of herself. Not like this. Not by someone who already meant a great deal to Vanya because she sacrificed herself and her happiness for someone she loved. She supposed it had to count for something that one way or another she could find something to be proud about in any version of herself just as she could always fall in love with Five and want what was best for him and what would make him happy.
She tried to get a hold of herself brushing away tears and calming down enough to talk again since she couldn't be sure how much longer Klaus could make a ghost visible.
When she looked back up at herself she suddenly noticed that bright smile from before that made her chest ache with stunning beauty was now gone and the look on her face was a bit disoriented.
'Are you-'
'I forgot to tell you…dad and Klaus…I forgot to tell you something…what…what was it?' she mumbled turning slowly away from her to the side, 'Did I tell them? I should tell them….was it Luther?'
Vanya blinked, 'Are you alright?'
She took a step closer to the emotional chaos inside her slowly replacing by concern, 'What's wrong? What did you want to tell me?'
The ghost suddenly violently shook her head, 'No, I should have said something. I forgot to say it. I should have said it, but I forgot. This isn't…wrong!'
Vanya glanced for a second to the hallway wondering if she should Klaus back in before her ghost said let out a startled chuckle, 'I didn't forget. I told him…I thought I forgot it is okay then…all is okay then…all is well…WRONG!'
'Hey, hey, it's okay, calm down,' she said and tried to take a hold of her hand forgetting she couldn't really touch a ghost just acting out on instinct to comfort someone she was comfortable with touching since it was herself just as she sensed Klaus coming into the room. o
She wasn't sure what happened the moment she touched her hand, but she could feel the pressure inside her chest she often tried to gather and channel during her training suddenly get sucked out of her before she could stop it not sure how since she was sure she was keeping her emotions at bay the best way she could. But before she could dwell on it any longer she felt a sudden wave hit her and everything around her causing her eardrums to explode with the sudden loud and piercing noise before she felt herself flying through the air and then nothing.
The first thing Vanya felt when she somehow became away from her surroundings was the brutal pain in her chest. It was unlike anything she ever felt and she briefly wondered if someone wasn't sitting there crushing her to the floor.
Her head was spinning, and as much as she wanted to she felt like she couldn't open her eyes wondering what the hell happened.
Everything was a mess inside her and she felt like crying or screaming the more she tried to breathe.
'Vanya,' she heard quietly like from a distance the sound of the voice she would recognize anywhere. But it still sounded a bit different…older?
But why? Why wouldn't it be older?
Then a sharp pain shooting through her chest made it hard to breathe and think.
'F-five,' she mumbled softly finally opening her eyes a bit but keeping a hand on her chest that was killing her. Five trained with her, but mostly it was about control. She was never forced to actually receive any sort of an attack or kick even back when they sometimes allowed her to play with them they always made it a point not to hurt her.
'Hey, it's okay, I'm here. I'm here,' he said and nodded brushing her face. He sounded so worried.
Why?
She would have been worried too but the pain was too agonizing to allow her to think about it too much. She tried to focus on something else. Five's hands were nice against her skin. His touch was firm yet careful. Five was always firm but careful with her.
I love you
More pain shot through her chest. She was confused. Why her chest? Shouldn't her head hurt?
Why?
She heard a faded sound of a gunshot but closed her eyes feeling the light too bright and the pain from her chest too profound.
'Number Seven, can you hear me? Where does it hurt?' asked someone suddenly, and Vanya felt a strange sensation inside her head. This wasn't right. This didn't feel right. Why…why did she hear that voice?
She felt Five's hold still on her and tried to relax as much as the excruciating pain allowed her and answer the questions, 'My chest,' she mumbled with a hiss. Talking hurt even more, 'It's a bit hard to breathe.'
'She might have a punctured lung,' said the voice again, and Vanya would have shaken her head at how wrong it was that she heard it, but found herself too weak to do so, 'Let's get her to the medical bay.'
'Do you want me to...,' started Luther, or at least she thought it was Luther since now she couldn't be sure of anyone really being who she thought they were.
She felt Five's face and breath close against her face offering more assurance by letting her know he was close, 'I'm going to pick up now, okay? Slowly.'
She opened her eyes for a second catching dad behind older Five's face and next to young Luther's face startling her for a moment.
Vanya nodded and closed her eyes not realizing they were open in the first place, 'Am I dreaming?'
She had to be. Why would their faces be all wrong? Why would dad be there?
No, wait…Five's face was right, wasn't it?
She felt her body being picked up from the ground just as an invisible foot kick her into the chest causing her to cry out probably from the sudden move.
Five's voice was the only thing holding her from crying or screaming some more knowing if she did, he would only feel worse about it all, 'I'm sorry. You'll be okay, I promise.'
As he said that, Vanya realized what was wrong with Five's face.
Five's face was never right. It was always wrong. His years were off so his body never fit him anymore.
'Vanya, what happened?' she almost stirred before she reminded herself the pain would have been horrible again and forced herself not to be confused why did it sounded like she heard Ben of all people close by.
Why?
Why not?
She was so confused and her chest hurt so damn much.
'Five,' she tried again not sure what she wanted to say, but she felt like she was slowly falling asleep unsure if she could because of the pain, but at the same time not strong enough to stay awake.
His voice was filled with worry as he spoke, 'I'm sorry, but It's okay. I got you. We're all okay. You're going to be fine.'
She was sure she heard Ben again say something in the distance, and she tried again.
'Am I dreaming?'
'No, you just had a pretty big closet fell on you. Since Klaus apparently needs a wardrobe big enough to hide an entire three-generation family of fugitives,' he said trying to lighten up the mood. She knew, but she couldn't bring herself to laugh. Breathing hurt, laughing would too.
'But I heard dad…and Ben,' she said feeling herself falling deeper and deeper into the dark of her own mind away from the pain and exhaustion that all of the sudden hit her mind and body.
When she felt the familiar sensation of Five's jump, she hissed loud enough to wake herself up again and tore away from those comfortable soft hands of sleep that wanted to take her further into the dark.
'Sorry about that. What did you say before?' she barely heard his question over the sound of the ringing of the blood rushing through her ears.
'Hm…?' she asked feeling the pain dull down a bit.
'You said something about dad and Ben, what?' came Five's voice again, and she thought she could try to open her eyes again feeling a bit better now. Not as tired.
'Dad and Ben, I thought I heard them,' she replied, 'But they're dead,' she muttered quietly and pushed her head against his chest and shoulder.
No, wrong. That was wrong.
She frowned at her own mind.
Why was it wrong?
Because they weren't dead.
'Everything hurts,' she mumbled quietly trying to sort her thoughts.
But they used to be dead.
But they weren't now.
Wrong!
But why?!
'What year is it?' he asked, and she groaned at him realizing what he was doing, 'I don't have a concussion, Five. Just my chest hurts.' It annoyed her enough as her own mind which couldn't seem to decide on things that were happening around her.
Wrong!
Right?
Wrong!
'Vanya, just…humor me,' he sounded serious and worried, and she could hear the others approaching.
She forced her eyes open just as she heard him repeated the question, 'What year is it?'
She was still safely inside his arms, but she felt worried. Not just due to the pain, but also due to his bizarre behavior and the madness inside her mind. She felt scared almost and not like herself wondering what the hell was going on and why was she feeling like this.
'2019.'
Wrong!
She felt another wave of pain before the darkness took her this time without a second to spare or another chance to escape it.
Waking up was painful, but Vanya found she didn't mind it all that much as the confusion in her mind faded allowing her to set her thoughts straight. She realized why she was confused before and what happened the moment she woke up in the medical bay.
She touched ghost Vanya and somehow her powers went reacted to ghost Vanya's emotions and got out of control.
It took her a moment to fully realize the seriousness of the situation probably due to the pain medication. Now, dad knew she used her powers meaning the Commission knew as well.
She felt her throw go dry wondering where Five was and what should they do tempted to get out of the bed just as the flash of blue light and Five appeared in the room.
'You're awake-'
'Five-'
They said at the same time. In a split second he was by her side taking a hold of her hand that was reaching for him while close to her looking at her face, 'How do you feel? Does it hurt?'
She let her other hand touch his face not carrying anymore if dad could see it on the camera, 'A little bit, but I'm better than before.'
The sudden relief upon seeing him died out as she recalled why she was so worried a moment again, 'I blew up the room well…the ghost version of me…Five…dad and the commission-'
'It's fine,' he said quickly cutting her off before he leaned down and kissed her knuckled in his hand, 'Klaus didn't say anything about the ghost just that he was teasing you. Dad thinks you skipped a couple of pills which caused you to explode. He will probably force you to take them more often now.'
Vanya watched him trying to take it all in before she nodded toward the door where she could clearly make out the red light from the camera, 'I will erase it. Right now, he is dealing with the architect and builders. They already started to fix the house. The others probably figure out by now everything about the powers although I don't know if Klaus blurred out what he might have overheard about the ghost,' he sighed, and Vanya felt incredibly guilty just then, 'I'm sorry…I just wanted to talk to her-me…I wanted to let her know you should try and go back to your timeline. I…I understand that you won't be happy here-'
He cut her off with a kiss that radiated of desperation and urgency while letting go of her hand in favor to take a hold of her cheeks keeping her as close as possible.
Vanya gasped when he broke the kiss to allow her to breathe, 'Forget it. I was being an idiot. I love you. I'm not leaving you ever again.'
She licked her lip allowing herself a second to savor the moment, the kiss, and his words before she should her head, 'But you should. You…she sacrificed herself for you, and you fell in love with her first-'
'I fell in love with you,' he said and stroke her face and hair looking into her eyes revealing all the vulnerability and love he could only for her, 'I love you. She-you were right. It's just you. Just Vanya. Nothing else matters. Nothing else can ever be more important than that. Than you.'
He leaned closer pressing his face against her letting all the boiled-up anxiety and doubt melt away from her, 'I can't lose you again. I just can't. When I jump here I tried to save you, and I did. You're alive, and we still have time. We can make it work. We can make all of this work and save the world and…we can be happy. I'm happy that I'm with you. I'm sorry that I ever made you feel like I'm not,' he said his breath tickling her face as his lips spoke the words against her skin.
Vanya felt like laughing her heart ready to sing from the wave of love she felt for Five in that very moment as well as any other moment for as long as she could remember in every timeline she could imagine.
Closing her eyes, she dragged her fingers into his hair and pulled him closer against her chest holding him there giving him as much comfort as she could. Holding him helped her as well. She felt better. She felt like she could breathe again and the pain was not important. They were together and they were alive and safe. The other version of her sacrificed herself for a better life and she got that. If Five could allow himself to accept that, she could as well.
'I love you too, Five.'
2006 – New Timeline
That morning instead of the uniform Vanya put on some of her ordinary clothes she got from Allison. They weren't a perfect fit, but for what they had in store today they would have to do. She always put them on and apparent from that one time she was certain a group of people recognized Five, they never seemed to cause people to turn their heads at her when they were going to the warehouse the Fixer arranged for them.
Five instructed her to be ready at 8 A.M since they needed to be done before dad would return at 11 A.M. She didn't think that left them enough time, but since for some reason Five decided to go today and not during their days off on Sunday, they had no other choice.
She hoped she would get a chance to meet the others during breakfast, but clearly, that wasn't Five's plan as just as she was on her way down the stairs, he appeared in the flash of blue light he was recognized the most for and took a hold of her elbow, 'This way.'
Nausea that came with being pushed through the smallest keyhole imaginable wasn't as horrible as it was the first couple of times, but it never really went away causing her to grip his shoulders tight as they appeared outside the Academy in one of the nearby alleys. Enough for Five not to use up all his jumps, but not close enough for anyone to see them.
'You good?' he asked stroking her hair a bit and letting her get all the time and air she needed before she would feel better. He always made sure she was alright like she was his first priority. She wouldn't lie, it made her feel selfishly good to know from all the people in the world she was the most important one. However, ever since he got his memories back, and especially after the explosion incident from a couple of months ago, Five went overboard to make sure she was alright. She would almost find it annoying if she didn't secretly like it so much, not to mention he knew well enough when to continue to act like the perfect gentleman and romantic and when to push her a bit like during the training.
She offered him a soft smile, 'Yes.'
He watched her carefully with a certain frown. She came accustom to it, knowing that now it was his ordinary facial expression. She knew it was because of what he had been through in his life. Before he had the benefit of those horrible memories taken away, but now that they were back all the trauma, pain and guilt were constantly there in his mind changing him back into the man he used to be when he came back to her when she was thirteen years old.
Five nodded and took her hand making sure that they walked quick enough to be on time yet keeping in mind Vanya's limits.
Instead of the usual bus, however, Vanya was surprised by the taxi Five waved down not far from the alley, 'This is new.'
The confident smirk, Five shot her completely changed the atmosphere around them making her wonder if they really were heading to the warehouse to train. Five usually only wanted them to go on Sundays when they were sure dad would let them since it was their day off. Although for a brief time, dad forbade the days off since he was certain they were all lying about what happened that day when Klaus's room blew up. Given that the camera recordings were damaged, and everyone seemed to stick to the story, they all eventually managed to pressure him to allow them to have their days off again. It surprised Vanya since she would think he would fight them more or simply not give in. Lately, she noticed he more or less didn't really care all that much about their complaints, missions, or routines. She wasn't the only one who thought so as it became a morning discussion during one breakfast that caused all of them to be later twenty minutes for their first class of the day which was another sign of just how leisure dad become. It didn't sit right with Vanya, and they all wondered what could have been behind his sudden change in behavior.
Once she was seated beside Five on the backseat, the boy leaned closer to her and whispered loud enough only for her to hear him and only because she was so close to him, 'It's a surprise.'
She raised her brows at him not entirely convinced it would be a good idea if they got caught and punished, but at the same time feeling oddly thrilled. Their seventeen birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and of course, Vanya was separated from the whole event most of the time as they were all invited to some politician in the New York house.
'I won't go,' said Five crossing his arms when he was standing in her room. He was bolder now. He used to be before as well, but ever since he got his memories back, he fully came to terms that he wasn't a child who needed to listen to their father's every command which made his rebellions all the more profound.
'Dad will push the others,' she told him reminding him of the last time he tried to cross him like that when they were all forced to train two hours longer than before.
'You should come with us then,' he argued and made his way toward her sitting on the bed.
Vanya chuckled and brushed his cheek with all the adoration she felt for him at that moment, 'I can't no one knows about me, remember?'
'You could wait at the hotel. I would sneak away,' he said already leaning closer to kiss her. It was tempting, but she doubted it would do them any good if he made dad upset at some party with witnesses. As sad as it was, she would much rather stay in her room with her violin, books, and whatnot than in some strange hotel and risk dad's icy cold furry.
However, afterward, they exchange their gifts and had a handful of moments on their own. Since the incident, the floor they were on was under reconstruction which forced them to the guest rooms. They had enough of those, but dad ordered them to share probably so they would all be suffering. It wasn't all bad. She would like to think it made her and Allison closer in some aspects and helped Klaus stay sober-ish throughout most of the time. However, she was sure if they didn't come back to their rooms when they did, Five or Diego would have resolved whatever issues they were dealing with in murder based on how heated their arguments were getting.
Maybe this was Five's way for them to spend some alone time. If so, it made her smile.
'Can't wait,' she whispered back and pressed her lips against his cheek in a quick chaste kiss that earned her a soft smile from her boyfriend. If his frowns were meaner and silent anger colder, Five's smiles were definitely more precious and softer. They were beautiful enough to make Vanya almost see silver lighting in all that pain he had to go through. Almost.
They parked in front of some apartment building in the center of the city. It surprised Vanya a bit, but she took Five's hand as he helped her outside and followed him inside waiting for her questions until she would see more and know what she was getting herself into. Inside the place looked just as nice as outside. It was new and reconstructed, and distantly Vanya was sure she recognized it from somewhere although she wasn't sure where. It wasn't until their elevator stopped on the 7th floor that she noticed the few through one of the windows in the hallway, and she knew.
'This building is close to Icarus,' she spoke quietly slowing down a bit as they were heading toward one of the apartments.
Five looked a bit nervous for a split second before he nodded with that familiar mixture of confidence, intelligence, and determination, 'It is. Right around the corner.'
'I used to pass every day on my way to work,' she said and then raised her brows at him knowingly, 'But you knew that, didn't you?'
Five sighed and nodded before he pulled a key out of his pocket and opened the door letting go of her hand to do so.
He stepped inside first holding the door open for her waiting, 'I figured. Based on where your apartment used to be. This would probably be the road you would take.'
Vanya watched him for a moment knowing that was all he would say for now before she entered the apartment. It was big with a lot of daylight thanks to the huge but lovely looking windows. It looked like a place a part family of four or five people could inhabit with an enormous kitchen and living room. However, it was empty. There was no furniture of any kind except for the kitchen counter and bathroom necessities.
The brunette took her time looking all over the place before she turned back to Five waiting.
However, he didn't say anything just watched her standing in the center of the apartment seemingly calm, but based on the way his fingers were pushing into his fist, Vanya knew better. Sixty-two-year-old man or not, Vanya would always know him better than anyone. Maybe she would need time to know him completely or she would never be able to, but from all the people in the world, she would always be the one to know him the best.
She offered him a calm smile because to her surprised despite not really knowing why were they here or that Five was being so nervous, she found herself feeling absolutely calm awaiting for whatever he wanted to say just to say it.
Five chuckled a bit hysterically as he saw her smile like that and brushed his face with his other hand, 'I love you.'
She let out a small giggle noticing it still had the effect on him to momentary froze recalling the time he told her how much he adored it right before everything went to hell. It felt ages ago, decades even, and maybe it actually was.
Slowly he started to walk closer to her, 'I purchased it for us. We'll be eighteen next year, and I want us to get out of the house. You said…you said you would want to go work for Icarus again… one day so,' he shrugged his shoulders everything about his speech telling her just how adorably nervous he was which made her smile even more, 'Do you like it? I thought you would, and it's close…'
She made the final steps toward him and pulled him toward her into a loving kiss her hands touching his cheeks and keeping him close, 'I love it.'
He let out a relieved sigh before he chuckled, 'Thank God. I already paid for it so…when we're not home or training we could come here…just I'm glad you like it.'
She openly laughed holding into him feeling his hands stroking her back as he kept her close, 'How can you be so old and experienced and still so unsure of yourself at the same time? Didn't you kill assassins for breakfast and solved the world's greatest puzzles for lunch?'
One of his hands reached out to stroke her cheek tenderly letting his fingers move all the way to her neck, 'Those things hold no meaning to me, I wanted to do perfectly so I did,' he pressed their foreheads together while looking down into her eyes, 'You're the only important thing in my life. I want you to be happy. It-you're more important to me than anything I ever did, do you understand?' his voice was gentle revealing all what he felt for her openly knowing it was just the two of them with no cameras or listening devices.
She nodded against his forehead and closed her eyes wishing they could stay there for a bit longer not ready to go out into the reality of where they had to live for the next couple of months or what was awaiting for them with the Commission and in 2019.
'I love you,' she whispered back before she felt his lips on her again pulling her into another kiss that threatened her to forget everything else but the feeling of how nicely and lustfully he could kiss her at the same time.
Her hands went around his neck pulling him even closer while she stood up on her toes so he wouldn't have to bent so low.
The kiss grew more urgent and passionate both of them breathing hard while falling down the path of the touches and kisses they did so so many times before yet never seemed to fully have enough of always wanting more. More contact. More touch. More time.
Just more
It felt perfect to be with him like this with their arms tangled in each other's hair and clothes their lips trying to fight for dominance in a battle where both of them were always winners.
It always felt perfect to be with him like this but ever since what happened in Klaus's room, it seemed like everything felt in place for both of them. She wanted to talk to her ghost version. She wanted to come to terms with what would happen next. She knew Five. Every version of him was the same in a way. She knew he wouldn't be happy knowing any version of her was suffering. She wanted to be ready for that. For what would happen if she was forced to stay behind while he would go to his own timeline to save her, the version who grew up without him. She wanted to know if she would be able to survive having to wait for him for all those years the way the version from the other timeline did.
The details were fuzzy since it happened so quickly, but one moment they were talking, and the next ghost Vanya was talking to herself like a lunatic about something being wrong. Klaus said if a ghost stayed behind too long they started to lose themselves like an old person with dementia. It was truly scary, and Vanya moved without thinking. She wasn't sure what she could do, but she tried to get close, and at one point she took the other woman's hand. She wasn't sure how was it possible. She was a ghost, right? But at the same time, Vanya didn't think it happened often that people met ghost versions of themselves from a different timeline so maybe they were a special case. The explosion was sudden, and even if Vanya was distressed too, she was sure the whole ordeal was caused by her ghost version. When they touched for a moment Vanya felt all the raw power she usually held inside was sucked out of her responding to the ghost version's emotions as it would to her own whenever she got so emotional. Before she could push it back inside it burst not as violently as it did when it caused the apocalypse, but enough to destroy their rooms and damage the hallway. She was unsure what happened afterward because of the hit against the back of her head, and the horrible pain on her chest but when she heard Five's voice, she was positive she would be alright. For a few moments in the confusion of what happened and the pain, the memories she must have sucked from her ghost version were the last memories she had inside her mind and so naturally for a few moments she was confused why she heard Ben or dad's voice as well as why was 2019 not the right year. When she woke up she sorted most of them up, she still felt strangely confused at times. Since then Klaus said the ghost lady AKA Vanya from the old timeline was gone. Maybe due to the explosion or drifting away into the light, no one knew, but at some point, Five made with it as well.
'It's you and me. I won't throw that away. I left you once. I already tossed us away once. I won't again. I promise,' he said and leaned forward kissing her when he came to visit her in the medical bay the first time after she woke up properly.
His kiss tasted the same. Despite all that was different. His memories being back, her own sometimes mixed with those that never happened. When they kissed and touched one another give into the moment where their minds were silent and only their love and bodies spoke. They felt like they always did like Vanya and Five. They weren't different versions of the people they loved, they were those people. They were simply Five and Vanya. They were always Five and Vanya. The perfect pair. Always meant to be. Always meant to be together. Soulmates. Perfect for each. Or whatever other romantic and spiritual concept existed, she knew it would always apply to them. They were just Five and Vanya. That was all. That was enough. That was everything.
When she broke the kiss, she looked at him a bit skeptically, 'Whose money did you use?'
'Dad's. Call it a long time awaiting allowance,' he said and she rolled her eyes keeping her arms around his neck, 'He will notice.'
'I count on that,' he assured her and brushed her back, 'But since he doesn't care lately, I figured he wouldn't care about this either.'
She raised her brows, 'You're betting on dad not acting like…well dad?'
He grinned a twinkle of amusement and love for her, 'What can I say? I feel hopeful.'
She smiled for a moment before she tried to push it down in order to get a more serious look and ask, 'Do you think I have anything to do with it?'
'You have everything to do with it,' he assured her before he kissed her again deeper guiding her a bit against him making it hard to remember they were on borrowed time before dad would come home.
She wondered if Five forgot about it as well or if he just didn't care. He seemed less interested in dad and his rules than ever since he got his memories back. She was worried at first, but when a person was living in a bubble of happiness it was easy to let those worries go.
'I love you,' he whispered before she felt his lips move against her neck claiming it with kisses soft enough not to leave any real marks but also firm and fiery enough to make her knees go weak even now. It was silly. They had been through so much. She had memories of an adult version of her that used to do far more than just kissing, yet when it was Five it always seemed to run deeper and heavier no matter how many times they did it before. It wasn't new. The feeling of his hands against her back and inside her hair wasn't new. The taste of his kisses inside her mouth wasn't new. The electric impulses that seemed to run across her body every time they touched weren't new. Nothing of what they did was new, but it didn't matter. Because somehow it always managed to feel just as if not intense than the first time with both of them desperate for more with their feverish touches, loud pants, and needy kisses trying to capture one another in the moment of pure passion and chaos of their feelings.
The first sound that broke the beautiful melody of their kisses against each other skin and lips and pants was when Five's jacket hit the floor momentarily startling them enough to break the kiss to look at it. It was only then Vanya even realized she just opened his jacket and pushed it away from his shoulders without breaking the contact.
Her hands were still on his shoulders while they were on her back keeping her in place although he did cause create a small distance between them when they stopped.
'Sorry,' she chuckled, 'I got carried away.'
Shaking his head, he leaned down and kissed her forehead, 'It's fine. But we should keep in mind there's no furniture here, and we would risk being late.'
She was sure the blood rushed to her cheeks upon hearing his implication, 'Yeah.'
Neither of them moved still keeping the other close and the jacket on the floor as Vanya felt the realization of what they could do come to light, but not necessarily sobber the moment completely.
She bit her lower lip trying to put the words she wanted to say into the right order before she spoke, 'Maybe we could stay a bit longer. You can jump us closer if we will be running late, and,' her hands brushed against his shoulder closer to his chest, 'I just like the idea that we're alone here, and it isn't a dusty warehouse.'
Five's hand brought her a bit closer. She could see his eyes darker and felt her heart speed up with the anticipation of the air around them growing heavier, 'We would have to be quick. I kind of wanted to savor the moment. Make it special. I have a plan, you know?'
She rolled her eyes fondly at him, 'You always have a plan.'
Five's hand went against her neck stroking the side of her face, 'And tell me, don't they turn out great?'
'I always knew you were a control freak, but this seemed even a bit too much for you,' she said and brought her arms around his neck again the disappointment barely present since she loved him too much to let it stick.
He kissed her not as urgently as before making her feel just how much he loved her back.
'I want it to be perfect for you,' he said and brushed his nose against hers in an Eskimo kiss.
She shook her head trying to make him understand and feel what was inside her heart, 'As long as you're with me every moment is perfect. No matter how happy, sad, scary, or tragic. As long as we're together everything is perfect for me.'
He watched her for a moment, and it was one of those rare times when Vanya wasn't sure what was on his mind before she saw the green iris darken again and her boyfriend leaned down to kiss her one more time.
It was a long and deep kiss and for a moment, Vanya was convinced it was to smooth her and make her realize he made up his mind and he was right.
However, when he broke the kiss, he pushed her head a bit upward, so she would look directly into his eyes, 'Are you sure?' He didn't ask anything else, and honestly, Vanya felt that given all the time they had wasted so far, there really wasn't anything they needed to ask anymore.
She put her hands against his face and offered him a soft smile, she knew he adored with the way his own eyes lightened up and the corners of his lips started to shift into a small smile of his own whenever he saw it.
'It's you and it's me. It's the only thing in the world, in the universe, in the system of universes that I'm sure in, Five,' she said honestly knowing if there was only one thing which was true in her entire life that was it.
Five watched her for a moment with that soft smile before he bent down and kissed her again this time even longer and passionate making it hard to breathe or think about anything besides how good it felt, how much she loved him, and much more she wanted.
Their kisses were desperate, deep, and addictive neither of them backing down trying to work harder and to make the other gasp, moan, or groan in pleasure. However, when they came to undressing each other it was slow and careful and oddly even more intimate than Vanya would ever imagine. They put them down so Vanya wouldn't be laying on the floor. It was a warm day. They could easily walk around in summer clothes.
She would be the worse liar if Vanya didn't admit she felt self-aware about Five's intense gaze once she was fully naked lying in front of him. She knew she was probably looking at him the same way, but there was something about the way his eyes moved over her body that made her feel like she could explode like her blood was fueled with gasoline. He made her feel special like she was the most beautiful woman he ever saw and that felt extremely heavy. The only reason she didn't force her hands to cover her body was the adorable blush she caught over his cheeks reminding her that sixty-year-old or seventeen, for him it was a first time as well.
Taking his hand, she linked their fingers together looking up at him, 'I love you.'
Some of the hesitance and embarrassment disappeared from his face as he leaned down closer to her face their breaths and bodies pressed together kept each other even warmer than before, 'I love you too, Vanya. Always.'
Before they continued, he sealed their lips in another kiss just as amazing as their first one and probably just as wonderful as any last kiss they would ever share. Vanya didn't think it was ever possible to have a bad. She couldn't imagine it. Life wasn't easy or happy all the time, but now Vanya knew what it could have been like without Five in it which made whatever bothered her any other time seem meaningless in the big picture. She loved him so damn much it tore her open to even think about not having him inside her life, the memories of the loneliness she felt without him hurt more than any wound she ever experienced. He was her stupid genius control freak who loved his family and her and wanted to save the world still thinking the blood he was forced to spill made him somehow worse than the others. How could he still doubt he was wonderful in every way she would never know, but she would love him all through it. Through all the bad things, worries and doubts just as much if not more than through all the good and happy things.
'You're shaking,' he whispered against her ear even if they were the only ones there.
'I'm happy,' she said even managing to smile although it was getting hard to concentrate with Five's fingers set on ruining her. She wasn't a surprise. Five was always a quick study and good in everything he did.
'I'm happy too,' he said and the grin on his face was the most beautiful sight she ever saw.
She believed him.
Slowly they explored one another becoming a mess of limbs touching and kissing everywhere they could reach determined to make the other shatter first taking every moan and groan as a part of their favorite love song which after that day it was.
I love you
...
Just trust me.
Always.
...
'It's you and it's me. It's the only thing in the world, in the universe, in the system of universes that I'm sure in, Five.'
...
'So you would wait eight years?'
'I would wait forever for you.'
...
'Maybe we could stay forever. In the cabin…just the two of us.'
...
'You're leaving.'
…
'It's you and me. I won't throw that away. I left you once. I already tossed us away once. I won't again. I promise.'
…
'I'm scared I will fail and do it again, and then...my other self who won't remember any of this will do it again and again and I-'
'You won't. We won't.'
...
'You changed my locks?'
'You're a control freak, that's what you are.'
...
'We will fix this. Together. Like always. Like everything.'
...
'Just something nice you said to me the other day.'
'Oh? Do tell, I want to know what will earn me a smile like that again.'
...
'I...I need you close. I always need you close.'
'I need you close too.'
...
'As long as you're with me every moment is perfect. No matter how happy, sad, scary, or tragic. As long as we're together everything is perfect for me.'
...
'Five?'
'Yes, Vanya?'
'If you must leave-'
'-I told you I won't ever-'
'-don't ever leave without a goodbye.'
...
'Not yet, I want a kiss.'
...
'I won't say it first. You will.'
...
'I…I broke mine too.'
...
'I don't think that it ever was or will be possible for me to love you less, Vanya, any version of you.'
...
'I love you, more than I love myself, and I know that you don't understand it yet. You're soyoung now, but I love you. I always loved you and I always will.'
...
I love you
…
Of course, by the time, they were done and finally decided to actually get dressed they were running so late there was no point to rush anymore.
Five took her out to eat kissing her every chance he got even though he was never too keen on public display of affections. Now, he couldn't get enough of her trying to keep her as close as possible always touching or close enough to almost touch.
'I feel like I could believe it would all turn out okay,' he confessed on their way home frowning a bit at his own words.
Vanya understood. Five was a paranoid person by nature and experience. To suddenly feel the need to let go and just enjoy life was more than horrifying for him.
She offered him a kiss and a smile, 'Maybe for today, we could. Just believe it. Just for today.'
He took her hand and kissed her knuckles looking like he accepted the idea before he led her further down the street.
At times like these, it was easy to believe it wasn't always destined for Five to leave her, and for her to watch him go. Living their lives with such precious moments of pure joy and happiness it was easy for Vanya to forget anything else and genuinely believe that they could be always like this.
Together
Happy
A.N: Thank you for your support :) I hope you enjoy the chapter and the story. I will try to update sooner. I think we will have at least 2 more chapters. I hope you and your loved ones are all safe and alright. Have a nice day and happy rest of the holidays :)