Olivia looked around the large room. She should have known when the corridor became narrower that it meant the rooms had become much bigger. She was envious of his much larger room to say the least. His bed was a lot bigger than hers, he had a small dining area – more of a booth than much else, but it was a place to sit, enough room for them to be side-by-side, but she was sure that would be far too intimate.

His room was evidence that Trevor Langan was a tidy and precise man. He had already hung up his suits from a hanging rack in the open cupboard. His notebooks and files were in a very organized pile on the nightstand and his clear-framed glasses were folded neatly upon his laptop that rested on the foot of the queen bed.

There was something so sexy about Trevor under the glow of the cabin lights. He was chivalrous and kind, warm and affectionate without being too much. In her mind, such a man didn't exist. There was always something so inherently disappointing about them; so far though, so good.

"Take a seat," he smiled, "make yourself at home." He went to the bar fridge and pulled out some Hershey's kisses. "I even have snacks," he added, opening up the bag and scattering them on the tabletop.

She did as he asked and took a seat.

Quite frankly, if he'd asked her to take off all of her clothes and get in to bed, she probably would have complied with that too – the alcohol was really getting to her head.

He picked up a piece of paper and a phone beside his bed. She watched him press a button on the phone and waited for a second. He made eye contact and gave her a little closed mouth smile. "Hi, I'm in first class, room 23, I was just wondering if I could order the charcuterie board and a bottle of pinot."

Olivia smiled at him, impressed. She wasn't really a sweet tooth, charcuterie boards really did it for her.

He thanked the person on the other end and made his way to the opposite side the table. "Won't be long…" he told her.

She felt her phone begin to vibrate in her pocket. "Shit!" she exclaimed; a sobering thought reaching her. Noah.

"Uh, could you just give me a minute?" she asked.

"Of course," he agreed, thinking something was wrong. He went to get up, "I can give you some privacy?"

"No, its fine its just…" she was distracted by the messages from Lucy. She'd missed them all. Noah says hello, Noah is excited to speak to you at 8. A missed call.

Fuck.

The last message was asking if she was safe. Since Lewis, everyone freaked out when Liv didn't respond to their messages straight away.

"I just have to call my son… I forgot I was supposed to facetime him earlier for a story." Without waiting for Trevor to respond, Olivia hit the call button.

Lucy answered immediately. Olivia felt terrible that she'd made them worry. "Hi Lucy, I am so, so sorry," she apologized, "I didn't realize it was so late."

She wasn't lying about that, she hadn't registered the time. "Its okay, Olivia," she replied, "Noah couldn't sleep, he's been restless, do you want to talk to him?"

"Oh boy, it's late…" she remarked again, hating that he was still up, but she knew it was her fault that he couldn't sleep. "sure, put him on the phone."

A few moments later she heard her son's voice. He sounded tired and upset. "Mommy!" he exclaimed, "I told Lucy you'd call back tonight, that's why I couldn't go to sleep. You promised to read me a story."

"I know, honey, but it's very late," she told him, "you should be asleep already," she told him. She knew she should go back to her room and get out his storybook that she'd gra- fuck, she thought again, she didn't grab it after all.

"But you promised me a story," he whined, jabbing Olivia with a pang of guilt.

"I know, I know I did Noah, that's my fault. Mom forgot the time," she reasoned with him. "Now listen, we're not gonna do a story tonight," she told him firmly, "I forgot to bring your book,"

"I knew you'd forget," he said in a small voice, angry with her. That was the attitude that sometimes came back, she thought.

"Don't take that tone with me, Noah Benson," she said firmly, glancing up at Trevor who gave her an empathetic face as he got up and shedded his suit jacket and hung it up. She fell silent and let her eyes linger over him as he exposed his grey waist-coat over the his dress shirt, his tie tucked beneath it.

"Mommy?"

"Huh? Yeah?" she quickly paid attention to her son.

"I miss you Mommy, I just want you to come home."

"I know honey, it's only three sleeps," she told him. "the sooner you go to sleep, the quicker time will go."

"Okay," he sighed.

"Alright babe," she said to him, "I need you to show Lucy how well you can listen and do as your told. I don't want to hear from her that you've been rude or sassy, you got it?"

"Yes," he said.

"I love you so much okay, be a good boy."

"I love you too Mommy…" his voice trailed off. "I miss you."

"I miss you too baby, night-night."

She spoke briefly to Lucy for a few minutes before hanging up. She sighed and put her phone down.

"Kids, huh?" he joked, sitting again. She managed a smile.

"Do you ever just feel guilty all of the time as a parent?" she asked, laughing as the words fell from her lips – the absurdity of it all.

"All the time," he replied without flinching. She thought at first he was making fun of her, but she realized he was sincere. "Do you want to know something really fucked up?"

She internally flinched at the curse words that sounded out of place coming from his mouth, but also a little sexy too. "What?" she asked.

"Helena left me, she took our daughter which is fine because I can't watch her during the day. But; I gave Helena the townhouse because I didn't want to disrupt Eloise, I wanted to make our divorce as seamless as possible without upending her life too…" he explained, a level of vulnerability shining through as he held her gaze. Olivia nodded attentively.

He rested both arms on the tabletop. "Helena always wanted more – more money, a better job for me, a better house, more attention, all the money but would prefer me not to work the hours that I do…"

Liv smiled. She remembered many arguments with Cassidy about the level of time spent at work. "It's frustrating, isn't it?" she asked.

He nodded. "And yet, I moved out, she moved on – I'm cool with that because of the relief of not being responsible for her happiness anymore. I am just responsible for my daughter and I. But still, Helena lives on my dime – which I guess is fair cos she does take care of my child and I'd prefer that to her going to daycare…"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute – what do you mean? You pay her bills or…?"

"Her bills, her spending money, she has a credit card that I pay, I still want to take care of her because I'd feel incredibly guilty if I didn't – because of Eloise."

Olivia was surprised; she had mixed feelings about the type of entitled person it would take to want to leave a relationship but still reap all of the perks. "Trevor, this is clearly your business, but that's not right. She left you, you said she met someone else – how are you still paying her bills? You are responsible for your daughter – sure, see to it that she has a comfortable home and roof over her head, but it's time Helena gets herself a little job, daycare is not the worst thing in the world, trust me. Get a nanny."

He started to chuckle, "That totally made me sound like a pushover, didn't it?"

She shook her head. "No, it's just... generous to a fault," she added, hoping that it didn't sound insulting.

The room service knocked on the door. He got up to answer it and took the bottle of pinot and the two wine glasses and set them down – and the platter that Olivia had forgotten he ordered. Cheeses, lavosh, pickled vegetables and some Italian meats. And also the chocolates spread out on the table before her. He thanked the staff member and closed the door, taking the plastic wrap from the spread before them and motioning for her to dig in.

"Anyway, me aside – why do you have parent guilt? You're a great Mom." He sat down and unbuttoned the cuff off each sleeve and rolled them both up. Olivia watched him and couldn't help but to find him incredibly sexy and masculine and now that she was close in proximity, she realized that he smelled very, very good – it was intoxicating her.

He poured them both a glass of wine.

"Thanks for saying that," she smiled before giving a shrug, "I guess Noah is just at that age where he realizes that a lot of his friends have Mom's who stay home and bake and go to yoga classes – and they also have fathers who take them to the park, you know…"

He nodded. "You're doing the best that you can, you spend a lot of time with him, it's not like he spends time with his nanny predominantly… does Tucker still check in with him? I know you guys spent some time together."

Olivia raised her eyebrow. "How do you know that?"

He chuckled. "Word gets around, Olivia… I'm sorry that it didn't work out."

He picked up his glass and she picked up hers too. He was about to take a sip but he stopped and smiled at her. "Cheers," he said, "to wonderful company, that started out a little shaky, but made it full circle," he managed to joke.

"Cheers," she replied, her cheeks hot. "Honestly, I don't have any contact with Tucker. It wasn't meant to be, it was an odd thing, to be honest." She remembered how much she hated Tucker, how she and Elliott commiserated over how he was literally the worst.

"You don't have to defend yourself to me," he smiled. "Sometimes people come in to our lives for a time because they are necessary and then they leave because of timing or whatever else," he explained and immediately her thoughts went to Elliot. It still stung though, the thought of him leaving without a trace or an explanation.

She nodded, agreeing.

He picked up a cracker and used the pate knife to spread some brie before offering it to her. She let herself smile and forgot about Elliot. "Thanks…" she replied.

He made up another cracker for himself and added some meat to it. "I can't go past a charcuterie platter," he admitted. "I would eat it for dinner every night if I didn't care about my weight."

She chuckled. "I'm lactose intolerant," she replied.

"What!" he exclaimed, "oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, I didn't even check – what a jackass,"

Olivia began to laugh at his panic, he was staring at her as though she was crazy, as though he was ready to smack the cracker and brie right out of her hands. She couldn't help the peel of laughter that cut through his commotion.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm sorry…" she laughed, "oh man, Trevor, its okay."

"Shit…" he laughed, "I was wondering what the hell you were doing, just eating it anyway to be polite."

They laughed together for a few moments. Once they'd calmed down, Olivia spread another cracker and smiled, handing it to him. "I'm really, really sorry for how mean I was earlier. I had a really stressful few days…"

He nodded. He had an idea that she knew that Elliot Stabler was back – everyone else did. Five hours ago he couldn't have given less of a shit about that situation, but now his interest in her was more than a little piqued, he wondered how she felt about it all.

It wasn't his place to bring it up, but he knew along with everyone else that the relationship between the two had left her shattered. He remembered seeing her shortly after he'd left for good and something had changed in her and it was awhile before he saw her smile again.

Elliot Stabler was a prick; Trevor never liked him. He was rude, over-the-top guy – chauvinistic and a little too heavy-handed with defendants. In fairness, he didn't know him very well on a personal level, Olivia clearly knew him very well – pined for him even, but one thing he knew about Elliot was that he was very much faithful to his wife.

"It's alright, as I said – I know what I did, I essentially got a murderer off a rape charge and caused the death of a woman, I have to live with the choices I made"

"You didn't know he was going to do that," Olivia said gently, noticing his face fill with tension at the mention of Viktor Sanchez.

"I know, but I knew he was a rapist," he replied honestly. "He certainly put on a show for me during our meetings; crying, praying, promising me that he was a changed man –" Trevor shook his head as if he was trying to get rid of the thoughts. "He gets off and now that little girl who is my daughter's age is without a mother… I just…" he looked up from his hands on the table and glanced at Olivia and gave a shrug.

She reached over and took hand that lay flat, palm open, facing the ceiling. She felt him slowly enclose his fingers around hers. "Trevor, you're not to blame," she said slowly and meaningfully. "You're really not. It was stupid of me to say what I said earlier, we all have moments in this line of work where things happen and we find ways to internalize it, but it's just our way of trying to find control where it's been lost."

He looked her in the eye and nodded slowly as if he was believing her words – he was sure she had given this talk to herself on many occasions; but it did help him to hear it.

"Thanks, Olivia…" he replied.

She didn't pull her hand away, but instead he took a sip of his wine and another and realized that he needed to pluck up some courage. He wasn't the type of man who wanted a woman to play guessing games or try to figure out the meaning behind his actions.

He licked his lips and let a little smile cross his lips as he grabbed for her other free hand and pulled them both together in to an encasement of his own. "Am I… reading the room well…or…?"

She couldn't help but smile at his obvious nervousness. There was something in the air; she wasn't sure if it was just the alcohol, but she could barely resist him. "I think so…"

He laughed lightly. "Who would have thought…" he murmured.

"I didn't realize you were sizing me up for a one-night-stand earlier…" she joked with him.

He looked momentarily taken a-back. "Uh… that's not what this is," he replied, "to be clear."

"Oh," she pulled her hands out of his. "Sorry, maybe I read the room wrong."

He stared at her intensely but she looked away, her cheeks rosy with embarrassment. "No," he said, getting up, he went around to her side of the table and motioned for her to move over so he could slip in to the tight squeeze beside her. "I think…" he began slowly as Olivia was pressed in to the wall, "that you're incredibly beautiful," he continued, taking her hand, letting his fingers graze the inside of her wrist absently.

Unbeknownst to him, he was making goosebumps rise to the surface of her skin. The smell of his cologne made it hard for her to think straight. His face was only a few short inches from hers and she couldn't help but move closer. "And I really want to kiss you…" he said in an almost-whisper.

"So kiss me," she replied back in a breathy tone.

He closed the gap between them, so relieved that it wasn't just in his head; that their conversation and banter had hit different than usual.

He felt the softness of her lips against his. He reached up and cupped her face in his large, warm hand. Olivia felt herself leaning in to him. She was pleased that he didn't try to shove his tongue in to her mouth, nor did he seem to eager or too rough. His kiss lingered only slightly. It was long enough for her eyes to fall shut, relishing the taste of his mouth.

He pulled away and smiled to see that her eyes were still shut as if she was steeling herself. When she opened them, she stared back at him, thrilled by the way he was making her feel. "Out of ten?" he joked with a slight smile.

Olivia laughed lightly and reached up to place her hand over the top of his at her cheek, almost as if she were checking that his touch was for real. "11 out of 10, would kiss again."

He let out a peel of laughter, happy for the tension-relief.

"I'm not looking for a one-night stand, Olivia Benson," he told her frankly, "but if you say it's fine, I'd love to try that kiss again."

Her warm brown eyes stared in to his giddily. "What are you waiting for?" she wondered.

Trevor leaned forward, this time, dropping his hand from her cheek and slowly sliding his arms around her.