Olivia sat, shell-shocked. She wasn't sure whether she should laugh or cry – so she did neither. She watched her hands shake as she sat back down. She was so glad he didn't see her cry; he didn't deserve her tears.

Fuck him she repeated to herself, almost now like a mantra that she had consoled herself with at the time Melinda had told her he was coming back.

She knew that she could anticipate one of her squad coming in to check on her but she wasn't really that interested in talking to any of them about it. She was no longer interested in the case.

She stood up back up and grabbed her hand bag and her laptop and slotted it. She opened up her office door.

"Cap…" she heard Fin's voice. She glanced at him, angry with him for some reason that probably wasn't justified. "You okay?" he asked gently, going to get up.

"Fine," she replied. "Are you okay to handle things here? I need personal time."

"Of course," he said with a nod, "do you need to talk?"

Olivia shook her head, "No, I need to go, can you please make sure Amanda and Sonny know what they're doing, we can't afford to fuck this one up, but I trust you," she replied.

"Okay," Fin replied again.

Olivia pulled her bag over her shoulder and made her way out of the precinct. She pulled her phone from her pocket as she made her way down the steps and down the main street.

"Are you at home? Can I come and see you? Or ... can we meet?" she tapped quickly on to the touch screen.

A matter of seconds later he responded. "Of course. I had a meeting with the DA but I'm on my way home I'll drop pin you my address. Is everything okay?" he was surprised, he hadn't expected to hear from Olivia for at least a couple more hours.

Olivia looked down at her phone and waited for a second until a pin drop came through. Upper East Side – she wasn't that surprised, from all of his comments and jokes there was a wealthy man beneath it all.

She dropped home first to get some things. She pushed Elliot to the back of her mind and got changed. She didn't feel like business, she knew that Trevor hated her blazers even if he never said it out loud. She changed in to a form-fitting, dark blue scoop neck shirt and tied her hair back in to a ponytail. She changed from her work handbag to her more casual one and remembered to shove her work phone in there just in case.

Olivia moved fast, almost as if she may lose the guts to confront Trevor, to figure out whether or not this man was a place holder simply til things were smoothed over with Elliot, or if it was genuinely something real.

Everything she had been feeling in the morning had been pulled out from beneath her and now she wasn't sure about anything; including the way she had spoken to her former partner.

She walked with purpose, trying to clear her mind and concentrate on what she knew; Trevor liked her. He wanted to date her – in fact, he was never shy about telling her that he liked the idea of a future with her. She liked him too, she loved his honesty, his affection – the way that he was able to arouse the difficult task of getting her to talk about her own feelings with little to know inhibitions.

But… Elliot.

She filled her lungs with air and slowly let it go.

Trevor answered his door to Olivia and immediately he knew something wasn't right. She was wearing a puffy coat and nothing else beneath it save for a T-shirt that was pulled tightly down over her curves. He took her jacket and hung it up at the door.

"Hey…" he greeted her, closing the front door behind her. "Are you okay?"

He slid his arms around her and kissed her lips. "I missed you," he added.

She gave him a weak smile. "I missed you too," she replied, "I'm okay…"

"What's so urgent? You told me last night that I had to be patient, had a little change of heart?" he joked, giving her a cheeky smile as he took her by the hand and led her through a spectacularly pristine apartment to the kitchen/family area.

He led her to the couch and motioned for her to sit down. She did so; the couch was made of a soft, grey fabric that she melted in to and instantly she felt the familiarity of comfort and the scent of his cologne danced around her nose and she began to come to her senses.

"Liv, what's the matter?" he tried again when she still hadn't said anything. He sat beside her and took her hand, worried that something awful had happened at work.

"I just want you to stop asking questions and hold me," she told him bluntly, avoiding his eyes. He felt concerned but didn't say anything – he respected that sometimes Olivia needed necessary time to process thoughts and feelings and that she wasn't like him in that respect, she didn't need to talk things in circles or ruminate on them til they made sense.

He circled his arms around her and felt her neediness as she embraced him back, her arms around his neck, letting his body almost entirely cover hers. She let her eyes fall shut while she relished the warmth of his body; his protectiveness and his genuine concern for her. She liked that he didn't ask questions – that he had learned quickly not to push things too far.

"I don't know what happened, but I'm glad you could come to me…" he murmured. She felt his lips buried in her hair. She gave him a squeeze to acknowledge his words.

She really didn't want to let him go. They stayed in their embrace for longer than what was probably comfortable for him, but he didn't say anything nor did he complain or try to get her to talk.

Eventually when Liv pulled away she was able to look at him again. His face was creased with concern and his eyes, although a similar ice-blue to Elliot's were not intrusive or disarming, but kind and warm and she found a little smile creeping across her mouth.

"Can I get you something? A drink or…?"

"No, I'm alright…" she shook her head and sighed. She knew she wasn't about to get away with saying nothing about what had happened.

"Okay…" his voice trailed off. He reached for her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. "How was work this morning?" he wondered, hoping to just have a conversation if she wasn't ready to talk.

"I'm just really tired," she replied, "Noah and I didn't sleep very well… then I stayed up late texting some guy…" she added with a roll of her eyes.

He smiled, "Whatta jerk, huh?" he laughed.

"I know," Olivia replied, "I mean, I felt sorry for him to be frank with you, that's why I had to keep replying."

He grinned. "Oh weird… he must reallllyyyyy like you."

Olivia laughed, "Probably," she shrugged, turning her body toward him. She noticed he was barefoot on the carpet and immediately noticed that she hadn't bothered to take her shoes off.

"Shit, sorry, I didn't remove my shoes…"

"Don't worry about it," he smiled. "Come on, get up, follow me to the kitchen, I'll make you something to eat…"

She managed a laugh, "You cook too? That's kinda hot."

"I do... I cook for my daughter and I make sure I have my own lunch every day."

Olivia rose an eyebrow, impressed. "Better than how I live," she joked.

She followed him in to his open plan kitchen. His fridge, oven, and dishwasher sat flush against a wall that separated the kitchen and living room with a large expanse of a kitchen counter island in front of it. Olivia stood on the other side of the granite countertop, watching him move toward the refrigerator. She was surprised to spy an entirely full fridge as he opened it up.

She couldn't remember having her fridge stocked up, especially not when she lived alone.

"Would you like a soda or a juice?" he asked.

"Sure… soda is good…" Liv replied, leaning over it.

He plucked out a coke and handed it to her, grabbing one for himself too. He opened the can and slid it across to her, filling two glasses full of ice from the ice machine in the door of the fridge.

"Your apartment is very fancy, Trevor," she smiled at him, "this is some James Bond palacial shit," she added.

Trevor laughed, pouring her can of coke in to the glass, letting it fizz and then doing the same for his own. "You should have see the townhouse that I left Helena in with Eloise," he joked, rolling his eyes.

He went back to the fridge and took out some leftovers and offered Olivia a choice of soup or pasta.

She chose the soup. "Did you really make this?" she asked him, glancing down at the delicious looking vegetable soup that she hoped tasted as good as it looked.

"Yes, I like to cook, its that one thing I do when I'm stressed," he replied. "And my daughter loves to to help so, its kinda turned in to a thing," he replied, heating up a bowl for her.

"You're pretty impressive, Langan, you're full of nice surprises…"

He smiled at her, appreciating the adoring look she was giving him. "Its just a little glimpse of what you can expect when we are able to spend more time together."

Olivia couldn't help but to grin at him.

"There it is!" he exclaimed happily, coming to her side of the counter. "There's that smile that I've become so fond of…" He rested his hands on her hips and kissed her softly.

She kissed him back, feeling relief flooding through her body; washing away the confusion that she felt when she had seen Elliot.

Once he pulled away, he towered over her, staring in to her eyes, caressing her hair. "I don't know what happened this morning, but I'm so happy that you came to me…"

His eyes were magnetizing—they tugged the feelings from within her and made it easier for her to say what she found so hard right outloud.

"I saw Elliot…" she blurted out. She hadn't planned on telling him but it just felt right.

For a moment his body went rigid and she questioned whether or not it was a mistake to tell him. "Oh," he murmured. He let his hands find their way to her shoulders. "Are you alright?"

She nodded slowly, "I think it just shook me up a little and I felt … angry," she found it easy to talk to him about it. She somewhat expected that he might feel jealous or upset with her for having such a visceral reaction. She liked his calm. She rested her hands on his chest, feeling the hardness of his muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt and managed a smile. "I just… needed to see you."

He smiled back at her, "I'm glad." The way his hands affectionately smoothed the bare skin of her upper arms; the way he looked at her, putting his concern for before any insecurity that he must have felt knowing that Elliot Stabler was lingering around; all of it impressed Olivia.

"I have a crazy idea…" he started, "I know you start nightshift tomorrow night, but… what do you think about going out to dinner tonight?"

She gave him a weak smile, "I can't… Noah. I haven't spent enough time with him and when I'm on nights its even harder."

"Do you ever go to dinner with Fin or … other work colleagues with Noah?" he asked, not being pushy, but just making a valid point that she was slowly reaching too.

"I guess."

Trevor kissed her lips, "I'm just saying, Noah has met me and I'm not asking for a romantic lets-call-it type of dinner, just… so I can see you and Noah gets time with you as well."

"Can I let you know when I see Noah this afternoon? I want to give him the choice if that's okay."

"No pressure," Trevor said simply, "I'm just happy to be seeing you now." He drew her closer for another embrace.

"Me too…" Liv murmured.

"So how was it," Trevor asked as they sat side-by-side eating soup. He'd even made her some toast to go with it. She felt lucky that he liked her, that he put up with so much of her already without regard for the baggage that she brought with her to … whatever it was between them.

"What?" she asked, spooning some vegetables and liquid in to her mouth. It was tasty, she'd hoped it wasn't going to be bland and it wasn't – a punch of flavor hit her taste-buds and she wondered when the last time it was that she'd had a home-cooked meal.

"How was it seeing Elliot… walk me through your morning," he commanded her in a way that felt like he was simply curious and wanted to support her.

She took another mouthful of the goodness that she was starting to wonder if he'd really cooked. She thought about how honest she wanted to be and figured that the best part about him was his honesty; and she was going to try her best to give him the same courtesy.

"It was … weird; familiar, unfamiliar, confusing, infuriating, upsetting… I hope that it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable."

He shook his head, "No Liv, I asked, it's fine… I don't feel threatened by your ex partner, you told me I had nothing to be worried about and so I'm not," he shrugged, hoping desperately that seeing Elliot Stabler had not shaken up any semblance of feeling for him. "I'm just concerned about you…"

"Thank you," she murmured.

"So, did you guys talk?"

She laughed, scoffing at the thought of a conversation with him. "No, not unless you count me telling him to get the fuck out twice and saying that I don't want to hear his apologies or whatever he could possibly think could ever make up for what he did…"

A brief smile crossed Trevor's mouth. "You don't really feel like that though," he remarked, not even bothering to posit it like a question, "and that's okay, you're angry, but you're not going to be angry forever…"

"I don't know about that," Olivia replied, "there were so many opportunities for him to turn up… and he never did and I don't really see how I can get past that."

"I'm not defending him, but without knowing his side of the story, how can you be sure that there isn't a valid explanation?" he wondered, "I mean-"

"Trevor, with respect," Olivia began, looking up at him with a little of what he read to be disappointment, "I was kidnapped and held hostage for days not once but twice and it was splashed all over the damn news for the nation to see and then I had to endure the worst legal battle of my life where that …" she struggled to find a word to use instead of using Lewis' name, "that fucking ..animal almost lost me my badge-"

Trevor saw that she was quickly becoming upset and he hated that he'd triggered it, "I know, I know, I'm sorry – I shouldn't have said that," he went to put an arm around her but she shrugged him off, irate and fighting back tears as if she had been bravely keeping them at bay since seeing Elliot.

"I'm fine-" she said quickly, "I'm sorry I'm just angry with him. I would have never done that to him, I would never have left him to fucking die and even then he didn't come back or even pick up the god damn phone and I have a right to never want to forgive him for that."

Trevor knew their relationship had been so tight-knit that he would have never been able to understand, but he did know that his wife couldn't have been happy about it and maybe that had something to do with his cutting off.

"I'm sorry that he shook it all up for you," Trevor murmured gently, slowly putting his arm back around her and buying his lips upon her temple. "you didn't deserve that."

"No," she said, mixing her soup around in the bowl, playing with it more so than eating it. "No, I didn't…" she bit her lip so that tears didn't slide down her face. She remembered Munch once telling her that if she drank a glass of water it would stop her tears; she'd laughed at the time, but it worked. She hoped the same thing applied to soup. She put a mouthful in her mouth and swallowed and followed it up with another.

Trevor remained silent, he didn't want to change the subject in case she had more to say on the matter. He went back to eating too.

Olivia willed for him to say something, to console her with more of his comforting words in his cool tone, coupled with his affection – but she also wasn't comfortable with crying in front of him.

Some silence passed between them before Trevor spoke again. "Are you going to need to have to work with him?" he asked the question gingerly, as if he thought she may not have even considered it.

"Knowing the way bad things just keep falling in to my life, probably," she finished her soup and put the spoon down. "He made some comment about a case so I'm guessing it's not the last I've heard of it… I don't get it, he was handing in his papers from what I was told."

"That's all?" Trevor asked, wondering if maybe he had misunderstood the way that Elliot had left her. "He didn't tell you face-to-face?" he asked, shocked.

Olivia shook her head, biting the inside of her lip, silencing the pain that she was sure was about to start to surface.

"So he just… that shooting happened and then? What? He went on a short suspension? It was only what? Like a month? Right?"

Olivia nodded, the tears prickling her eyes.

"Did you talk to him during that suspension? You guys were so close—even outside of work, everyone knew that." Trevor remarked.

"Don't-" Olivia stopped him, "I can't-"

"Its okay," he said, placing a large hand on her shoulder, "Shit Liv, no wonder you're so angry and you're allowed to be upset.

A thick film of water covered her eyes. She closed them tight, trying to coax them back at bay. Trevor felt for her as he watched her open them again, a fat tear fell from the rim of her eye to her cheek. "Its okay," he said before she had the chance to apologize – something that she did so often that he had become accustomed to allaying.

"He just never came back. I tried to call … like a fucking psycho, at least 100 times because I was worried and I was afraid he might do something stupid because of how he felt shooting that girl…" He listened attentively. He reached up and swiped away another tear from her cheek with his thumb. Olivia felt embarrassed but she couldn't stop her emotions now. She avoided his eyes, hating herself for coming undone. "I just thought I was worth more than that to him-"

"You loved him Liv, its okay to say it, you loved him and whether that capacity of love was friendship, romantic or otherwise, you loved Elliot and he broke your heart and it's ten or so years on and you've moved on without closure and managed and now he's back and he's well and truly rattled you and it's okay."

He slid his arms around her and held her for the moment. She didn't bother speaking except for a murmur of agreement. She didn't need to say anything because as usual Trevor managed to eloquently pinpoint exactly how she felt without much effort.

She loved the feel of his strong arms engulfing her, dwarfing her despite her own frame not always being exactly touted as petite. He made her feel safe and comforted and as though he really did care about her.

"You've been carrying all of this stuff on your own for so long Liv, its proves what a strong, amazing woman you are, but its time to let someone else take care of your heart…" he added, allowing her to tuck her face in to his chest, as he stroked her hair.

"I don't know how to do that," she admitted, closing her eyes as a few more tears fell from her face.

"You're already doing it," he replied as she her brain immediately registered what was happening as his words dawned on her. So this was what it was like to be vulnerable, to have someone actually give a fuck about her wellbeing and not wanting to run when things got hard.

She felt his lips on her temple – those kisses to her seemed to be the most intimate of all, soft and lingering that were romantic but more than that, adoring.

Her feelings for Trevor Langan had suddenly reached a whole new level.