I know some of you reading this are waiting for some tension/some bad guy moments to come out, but I'm kind of chuckling because Trevor doesn't have any ill intentions, but maybe he's just that stereotypical good guy that always gets hurt!? Who knows... I GUESS WE WILL SEE :D but I kinda love writing fluff as much as I love writing angst and to be truthful, there's a lot of trauma from Liv's POV that's been buried because of abandonment from all of the people that were meant to care for her, so I want to explore her vulnerability a little... HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

"Thank you for everything that you did today," Olivia told him. He smiled at her in response. She wore a pair of long navy blue pajama pants and a college t-shirt. "I can't believe it… all this food, Trevor, this was so sweet… the only time I eat this good is when I'm ordering weekly food orders."

"It was my pleasure," he replied. She came around the kitchen counter to the couch where he was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea for the both of them. She felt a little embarrassed that he had witnessed her fall apart, but he didn't act like a single part of it was a chore.

Trevor felt awful too, he hated that she was alone in her head – that she was too scared to say things out loud for fear of alienating him. She sank down beside him. He picked up her tea and passed it to her.

"Thank you," she said again, blowing on it briefly before taking a sip.

He picked up his and sipped at it too. "Can you just do me a favor?" he wondered.

"Yeah…I'll try."

"Keep communicating with me, I know something terrible happened with a victim at work and it's triggered you and you don't have to go in to it, but I need to know how to help in those cases."

"I don't really know," she responded, "my instant reaction is to give you a reason to leave," she admitted, "but I really don't want you to go…" she said softly, finding it hard to push the words out.

"I'm all in, Captain Benson, 100% all in… I'm not going anywhere."

He let the weight of his words fall upon her. He caressed her cheek with his forefingers and gave her a slight smile.

She avoided his eyes for a moment.

"After … him, when you had these … visceral trigger moments of trauma, what did Brian do to make it better?"

"To make it better for who? Him or me?" she asked, she gave a little laugh to relieve the tension in her answer, to take away the seriousness of it. It struck him as an odd question but despite his concern growing, he answered her question.

"For you, of course you…"

She could feel herself getting emotional again. "He couldn't even look at me after it happened," she sighed, "I could see it on his face, his first excuse was that he didn't want to hurt me in the night so he slept on the couch to give me space," she made air quotes. "But it was for him; he needed space."

Trevor was shocked, annoyed and outraged for her. "I sensed he couldn't or didn't want to deal with my trauma so I saved it up for when I was alone-" she added. "And I realize it was hard for him to watch-"

"No," Trevor stopped her firmly, "Stop it, Liv, you don't get to apologize for him…" he was so sick of her making excuses for everyone else. "Listen to me…" he took her face in his hands, "look at me," he commanded, desperate for her to hear her words. Olivia's eyes found his. His large blue eyes scanned hers for a moment, wanting her to see the sincerity within them, "Do. Not. Apologize for needing someone. Do not apologize for someone else's disgusting behavior. You went through the worst ordeal in your life and you have trauma and you're going to trigger and you're going to have shitty days and days where you want to come undone and it's okay and you shouldn't have to be scared of some fucking dead beat that will either shirk you aside or run away because shit got a little intense."

Olivia made a noise that was halfway between a sob and a burst of laughter. "Please," his voice lessened in intensity, "don't push me away. I'm a grown ass man, I can deal with tears…" he paused, "shit, I'll probably cry with you, I'm a bit of a baby when I see other people that I care about in pain… but I don't want you to hide it. I'm not the guy that's gonna sleep on the couch or pick a fight with you because I'm mad about you dealing with something at that next level." He spoke his words with meaning and with conviction – firmly so that she wouldn't cut him off or attempt to make any thinly veiled retorts.

He let his words sink in before he spoke again, letting her absorb their meaning. "I'm not defending Brian, but I just don't think he knew how to fix me."

"He picked fights with you, right? You were going through a god damn trauma, Olivia, you were violently assaulted for four days and while you were still dealing with that, he met your trauma with aggression directed at you. That is a piece of shit move and I'm so furious about that. It made you think that you had to do all of this alone…" Trevor fumed, genuinely feeling the heat of his own anger. "And you don't…" he finished, letting go of her face, letting his hand slide down to her neck, stroking a tiny mark that red little scar that she didn't really think was noticeable to the untrained eye.

"Fuck it Trevor…" Olivia spoke with restraint so that the tears didn't fill her eyes again. "You're going to make me cry more."

He smiled, forcing it, trying to shelve his anger, letting go of her, planting a kiss on her lips. "I don't want to make you cry, but it needed to be said. I just am … completely gob-smacked by the abandonment…" he sighed, shaking his head.

She wiped the few tears that had escaped. She sipped her tea again. "Thanks for saying all of that…"

"I really mean it, sweetheart," he said slipping an arm around her. "One day when you are ready to get it off your chest, I'm ready to listen and I won't be put off by what you tell me…." He said thoughtfully, "I might be devastated for you, I might be infuriated for you and I might even cry like a little bitch with you, but I definitely won't run from you."

Olivia wiped her eyes. The gravity of telling someone any actual details of what happened to her seemed impossible. She hadn't even gone in to detail with her shrink.

Trevor recognized that she was becoming a little overwhelmed again. It was time to end the conversation.

She tired and ready for sleep but she knew she wouldn't be able to. "Tonight was…" she paused, looking for a word to sum it up, "brutal… It was just – a really brutal crime, Elliot turned up—" she shook her head, "the girl was young—just a fucking baby, really, she'd been kidnapped for four days and, it just looked like something he would have done but I know that's not possible—he's dead," she let the words out of her mouth like wind from sails. She felt as deflated as her words.

"Doesn't stop stop the triggers, though," he remarked. There was another question on his tongue that he was almost too afraid to ask. "Sanchez?" Trevor wondered point-blank, feeling an overwhelming sense of immediate responsibility. For his crime; for helping the psychopath walk. For the body of this new victim, for Liv's triggers – his mind raced, it was his turn to feel sick.

"Maybe, I mean, it looks like it-" she paused and turned to Trevor, "we won't know until the ME has done a thorough investigation, it could be a copycat, it's not the first time." She read his expression and immediately saw him tense in regret and concern.

"Fuck, I am so sorry," he murmured.

"Nope. Don't you apologize. You didn't commit the crime. You don't get to be sorry." Trevor said nothing and hugged Olivia close to him. "It might not be Sanchez, I had to bow out and go and take evidence and statements, I couldn't do it…"

Trevor tried to focus on her, he tried so hard most days to put the whole Sanchez case somewhere in a file at the back of his brain that he tried not to access, but it was hard when she was so traumatized by someone he'd helped set free.

He changed the subject. It wasn't her job to comfort him about his own misgivings. "Olivia, I know this may be out of place for me to say but maybe you need to take a couple days off. Noah really missed you tonight. He cried for you twice and he really wanted to work on his project with you."

Olivia nodded, "I am thinking about contacting the chief, I feel like my tank is empty."

Trevor kissed her temple. "Take a breather for a few days at least. Sleep all day, catch up with friends," she smirked at him and cocked her head. "What friends?" she asked, "my friends are at SVU."

Trevor smiled right back at her, "Catch up with me… Noah and I are quite the team in the kitchen, you know?" he told her.

"I like how I was so worried about introducing you to Noah, but you weaseled your way in in a crafty little way and now my son loves you and I can't very well keep him away from you now."

They laughed lightly, a good relief of tension from the heaviness of what passed through them earlier.

"That would be too cruel… for both of us. We're going to gang up on you…" he winked.

She laughed again, marveling at the idea of having a man around more. "What time do you have to get to the office?" Olivia asked him, changing the subject.

"I have to start at 9:30 but I should get there just before 9… would you like me to stay with you tonight? I can slip out early."

"Is that okay?' she wondered.

"Of course, I wouldn't offer if I couldn't do it." He replied.

"Thanks, I don't really know if I want to be alone with all this bullshit in my head. It may just be an ambien sleep," she admitted.

"Maybe you can share one with me this time, cos I don't know how I'm going to sleep either."

Olivia smiled and kissed him. "Thank you Trevor… for being the real deal."

Olivia couldn't help but to laugh when she came from the bathroom to find Trevor laying in her bed in his trunks, his feet overhanging just slightly. "If you stick around, I'm going to have to buy a new bed…"

He chuckled and patted the space beside him that he had been able to tell was the side she slept on the most.

She slipped out of her pajama pants and got in to bed in her t-shirt. "Just warning you, sometimes Noah wakes me in the middle of the night for something…" she said to him.

"Oh…" he considered how awkward it might be if that happened.

"Its okay, as long as you're okay with it… if not, there is a spare bed down the hall that Lucy stays in."

He laughed, "Oh yeah, I asked if you wanted me to stay so I could sleep down the hall in the nanny's bedroom," he joked. "Just so we are clear, what are we telling Noah, if asked?"

"That we had a sleep over because it was too late for you to go home," she shrugged, "I dunno, does it matter?" Trevor could tell that she was losing interest and losing her ability to stand by everything she was trying to protect Noah from as she started to realize that he wasn't going to break her heart.

He smiled and inched closer to her. "Come here, get close to me Benson…let me snuggle the shit out of you…"

She chuckled lightly, waiting for the Ambien to kick in. She often left the hall light on so that she had a little light peeking in to her bedroom of a night. She couldn't handle the darkness anymore, but with another set of arms securing her, she felt comfortable turning it off.

She felt Trevor's lips against her forehead, smoothing her hair from her face and out of the way so that it wasn't tickling him.

"Trevor…" she began softly, her voice reaching him warmly in the dark.

"Mmm?"

"I like you so much that…" she paused, the darkness making it a little easier for her words to come out, "that I don't want to refer to you as some guy I'm dating…"

He chuckled and it felt good for her to feel the joy from her words emanating from him. "Me too…" he murmured. "What would you like to do about that?" he asked in a playful way which she appreciated. The playfulness was a nice change from the intensity of their conversation in the living room.

"I don't know… do you have any thoughts?" she wondered smugly.

"Well, I don't know… If I was going to call you my girlfriend, hypothetically speaking, of course, how would you feel about that?" he asked. There was a nice vibe between them; the chemistry was electric when they became physical, but the vibe during their conversations felt easy and fun and relaxed and she knew it was what she had been needing.

She loved that Trevor knew innately what she needed from him. He was wonderful at picking up on her emotional cues.

"I think I'd be somewhat open to that," she replied coolly as if the idea only mildly interested her.

"If you don't wanna tell people I'm your man, I'd not be that surprised."

She chuckled again, "Why would I not want to call you my man?" she wondered.

"Backlash," he shrugged a little seriously, stroking the frame of her face in deep thought, "shame, I'm the scumbag lawyer, remember…"

"I'm not ashamed of you. I haven't always agreed with you about your clients, Trevor, but people can say what they want. You're a good person, good moral compass, incredible looking, great in bed and especially kind to my heart," she listed his qualities, making him grin to himself in the dark.

"Now that is kind to my heart…" he sighed with contentment, "I think I should be your man… officially, I love the sound of that, it's a little hot, to tell the truth."

"Is it? Okay, so officially, I'm your only girlfriend right?"

He laughed, "Liv, I've not dated, messaged, looked at, even cared about anyone since you ate dinner with me on that train," he told her, "in fact, I think the universe was preparing me for you because I didn't have any women in my life for far longer than before you came in to the scene."

"Sorry about your loneliness, but good for me," she laughed, "that's nice to hear."

He kissed her cheek and found her mouth – his lips grazed across hers, enjoying the softness of her – all of his senses heightened in the dark.

"My girlfriend, my Olivia," he whispered, playing with the words on his tongue to see how they felt. Once he'd internally confirmed that it was right, he sealed them by kissing her again.

Generally speaking, Olivia wasn't into gooey love-stuff, but possibly because she'd never been subject to it. Now that he was using the pet names and romantic expressions, she was filled with love and warmth.

"I wish we hadn't just taken an Ambien…" she said with a little chuckle.

Trevor laughed and gave her a gentle shove away from him, "get outta here, you sleaze…" he joked, causing her to let go of a peel of laughter. She quickly clapped her hand over her mouth, not wanting to wake Noah.

He chuckled softly at her, loving the sound of happy Olivia. "Here I am…" he sighed as if he was put out, "trying to be romantic and all you can think of is ripping my clothes off, am I simply a piece of meat to you, Olivia?"

She laughed again, but much softer this time. "I'm sorry… you made me nervous, I don't know what to say when someone says something lovely like that to me … that weird gooey feeling, I don't know what to do with that… if I say something back I am sure it's going to sound forced and insincere."

She got comfortable back in his arms again. "You don't always have to say anything," he replied, grateful for her honesty. "Its alright, we've discovered my feelings come a little easier to me, for you, it takes some time but I love that you're slowly opening up to me, I don't take that for granted."

"Fuck, Trevor – stopppppp," she complained, "you're doing it again, being so nice, just saying how you feel like ladidadida, easy—" she sighed, "I don't know if I'm going to ever be as open as you are and that scares me. I want to be but I don't know how to be."

"We will get closer, more comfortable and eventually you'll be, 'darling this, darling that.. let's roll around in the hay, darling, I love you darling, you are the hottest man I've ever laid eyes on darling… oh darling, what big biceps you have!'" he teased, both of them laughing in to the dead of the night.

He knew he had to go to sleep and the pill was slowly kicking in, but he could have laid in bed chatting to her all night.

"You are full of it…" she retorted after her laughter calmed.

"You think?" he challenged her.

"Well, I mean, I'd never use the word darling, what is this, an 1948 talkie?" she joked.

"I was just using that as an example…come on Olivia, let's not get in to semantics." Even when he was dead pan she could still recognize the joke buried beneath his dry humor.

"I'll find you a cute name," she told him softly, turning serious. "But it wont be darling or honey or something stupid like that…"

"Babe?" he supplied.

"Mmm if you're a little piglet, sure…" she shrugged. "We'll see how the wind takes us…"

He kissed her mouth one last time and gave her a little squeeze. "Goodnight Ms Benson…" he murmured.

"Goodnight…" she replied, closing her eyes. She pulled the covers up beneath her chin, getting comfortable.

After a few minutes Olivia spoke with a little smile. "Trev?"

"Yeah?"

She felt bashful but she forced the words out of her mouth. "Call me your Olivia again…" she said so softly she could barely stand the sound of her own voice. It felt like hours before he responded and her hands tingled, her tongue felt metallic – being vulnerable was so traumatic that it felt like an out of body experience; a disassociation.

He adjusted his position, getting in closer; she could feel his chin resting on her shoulder, his head facing her as she laid on her back in his arms staring at the ceiling, her heart thumping waiting for his response. "Goodnight and sweet dreams, my Olivia," he said again, his voice was softer, slower, sexier and bass-y.

"Goodnight…" she sighed with relief, feeling her body lose its tension.

She closed her eyes and tried hard to get rid of the images from her brain. Usually it was easy, but tonight she couldn't. She started the visualization techniques that her shrink had given her for the nights when the images got too much.

She found herself wiggling her fingers trying to distract herself. She tried hard to focus but it wasn't helping. She was trying not to move around too much, she knew he needed to sleep and she knew that it was her last day off and she needed to ask for some time.

She had been laying, wiggling her fingers and counting backwards and trying everything she could think of. She felt Trevor grab for her hand. He threaded his fingers through hers and stroked the space between her thumb and forefinger to comfort her without a single word.

Trevor heard Olivia's voice before he saw her in the morning. She was speaking to Noah. He opened his eyes and let them adjust to the dim light creeping in from the cracks around the pull-down drapes at her window.

"But Mommmyyyy I don't want to go back to sleep," he whispered loudly.

Trevor could see Noah on the other side of the bed, talking to Olivia. "I want to get in to bed with you, like I always do in the morning."

"Honey, there's not enough room, how about I get up with you and get you some breakfast? It's almost time for Trevor to get up as well," she replied, feeling him shift around behind her.

"Trevor is already awake," Trevor announced sleepily.

"Hi Trevor," Noah said, dropping his whisper, a big happy smile taking over his face.

"Good morning, Noah," Trevor smiled despite his eyes feeling like they were covered in sand. "What's the time?" he dared to ask.

"It's about 5 to 6," Olivia responded.

"Trevor you slept in my Mom's bed!" Noah announced to Trevor as if he wasn't even aware.

He managed a chuckle, "I know and I'm sorry about that, it seems I took up your space in her bed."

Noah shrugged, standing in his favorite Cars pajamas surveying the new situation that quite literally laid out in front of him. "That's okay, its fun when you come and stay with me while Mommy is at work, I like it when you are here."

Olivia grinned at her son. "Did you have a good night? You did all that cooking and all of your art?" she asked her son, scooting back closer to Trevor, allowing Noah some room to sit on the edge of her side. She felt Trevor's arm slide around her.

"Yeah it was so fun, Trevor read me a book on the couch when we finished dinner and I watched a cartoon and fell asleep."

"Wow, sounds like a big night… sounds like you had more fun with Trevor than you would have had with me," she pointed out.

"I had fun, did you have fun Trevor?" he asked, way too chirpy for the lack of sleep both he and Olivia had. Still, he was chuffed that Noah liked him so much.

"I had so much fun, kiddo," Trevor replied.

"But I still missed you Mom, I wished that you got to be home with us," he told Olivia. Olivia smiled at her sweet little boy.

"I missed you too, but guess what? I am going to talk to my boss and maybe I can take some more days off and we can have some time together."

Noah seemed excited by that.

"Okay honey, I want you to go and get your school things ready, Mom's gonna get up and make a huge dinosaur sized coffee for Trevor and get you some breakfast."

"Okay!" he agreed, sliding off the bed and hurrying out of the room, not wanting to miss anything.

Olivia slowly raised herself up with a yawn. "I love my son with every fiber of my being but some days I just can't get with that early morning joy…" she chuckled, flopping back down beside him.

He chuckled and yawned. "Try getting up at 4:30 with a three year old who wants to play Disney Princesses."

Olivia laughed. Trevor kissed her, "Nice to wake up beside you though," he remarked. He lifted his leaden body up. He was so tired. He loved the morning glow of her cheeks, her brown eyes that stared back at him with a little less behind them than he had encountered the night before.

He gazed at her for a moment and let his eyes travel to her lips.

"Morning breath," she warned him.

"Pfft, live a little…" he flashed her a smile, kissing her in spite of it.

She chuckled. He pulled away and caressed the frame of her face. "How are you feeling this morning? A little less overwhelmed?"

She nodded, "yes, thank you for talking with me and comforting me, I feel a little … weird that I unloaded like that."

A little smile found its way across his mouth, marveling at her constant apologies. "Olivia, shut the fuck up and stop apologizing to me," he said bluntly but with good nature and playfulness. "If you can't unload and decompress with your man, what's even the point?" she loved the way he weaved the solidification of their romance within his sentence; she had wondered if it was just up-late chatter or if he'd acknowledge it in the morning. Hearing his confirmation, her stomach flip-flopped

"Look at you…" he remarked, his eyes all over her, "you are so fucking cute, blushing…" he added with a grin, "I never thought I'd see the Olivia Benson turn to mush, much less that I'd be the guy able to make it happen..." he tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear. "I'm a very, very lucky man…"

She reached up, taking his face in her hands, feeling the stubble coming through. "I don't know what to say, but I want to say something gushy, but I don't want to ruin my obvious street cred…" she remarked, her lips hurting from trying to stifle a grin.

He laughed. "Say it, say what's in your heart… I'll either feel heart-warmed or I'll heckle you until my throat is hoarse," he joked.

She looked down at his mouth and found herself feeling so stupid and giggly. Her stomach felt like she was about to take a free fall in to the abyss; the big wide unknown, trying to push herself to be more vulnerable than she had been for as far back as she could remember.

She flicked her eyes back up to meet his; "I don't know how to say this, so… I'm gonna try and I hate what I'm about to say, I hate everything about how its going to make me feel but I want to be real with you and I don't want you to ever doubt my feelings so… here goes…"

Trevor was patient with her but was getting a little antsy to hear what was on her mind, "It could be just … after-sex chatter but… I don't think it is-"

"Liv-" he interrupted her almost warningly, knowing that she was stalling. "Spit it out!" he laughed.

She chuckled sensing his urgency to get her to speak. She took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. He watched her eyes close, "I am falling for you…" she said in a barely audible voice.

He waited for her to open her eyes, it was his turn to stifle his own grin. Finally, she looked at him; she looked worried – "Was that too much?" she asked, "it was too much, oh my god…" she covered her face with her hands.

"Liv…" Trevor grabbed her hands and pulled them away from her face, "It's not too much…"

"Is it too crazy to say that? We've only been seeing each other a short time but…Jeez, I've never said that first – I've never had to even-" her heart was thumping. "I just know how I feel and its crazy and my heart feels like it could explode every time I see you…" she rambled, her face reddening. Her body felt hot and nausea began to swell.

He wanted to laugh at just how succinct she was being despite telling him how hard it was for her. He knew better than to laugh at her vulnerability though, she would take it as him making fun of her and he would never have wanted her to feel anymore ashamed of her emotions than she already did.

He reached up and took her hand from his face and pressed it against the skin that covered his breast bone. "Feel my heart…" he told her. She glanced down at her hand and they became blanketed in their own silence.

She felt the race of his heartbeat. She chuckled. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah, you make me nervous too, I'm tired but I have the jitters something crazy cos of my feelings…" he admitted, "everything you just said… the crazy butterflies in my guts – my mouth hurts from smiling and you actually just make me feel so good about myself, you said I was kind to you, but you have been exceptionally kind to me too."

He paused to kiss her.

"I'm also falling for you, it is crazy but I feel like I know you and you feel familiar and new and exciting at the same time, it's a very strange feeling… but I told you, I'm all in."

"I'm all in," she repeated, lifting her head to kiss him back.

"Yucky," Noah remarked from the doorway.

Trevor quickly flopped back on to his side, hating how Olivia might feel knowing Noah had witnessed them a little closer than he was probably used to seeing his Mom with someone.

"Yucky what?" Olivia questioned him, trying to play it casual but was feeling a little irresponsible, "Are you yucking Trevor because he kissed your Mommy?" she asked him with a gentle laugh.

"Yeah gross, you'll catch cooties, Trevor," he warned him.

Olivia made a face, "Noah don't be silly," she chuckled, "come on, time for coffee and breakfast." ,