Hi guys, Ive had a few days off work so I have spent my time updating this story for you. I have been writing nonstop since I haven't felt myself and writing is a little bit of a comfort to me. I just wanted to response to a few comments and replies and because I cant do that by replying on the comments section, I thought I'd do so here:

Firstly thank you to the gals that I chat to every day who help me come up with ideas and new plots, Lise & Abbie. Thank you! Lise takes the wheel when I am feeling heavy writer's block and you guys should thank her for the super hot ideas hahaha. Also both Abbie and Lise help with the kid stuff since I only have an animal and it wouldnt be right to allow Olivia and Trevor to guide the kids around with a collar and lead, so they're my parental consultants. 3

Thank you to everyone for commenting on my last chapter, EvaMariposa, Rubys, JLCProductions, annikajensen, BenoightLangson, morgancoleeee, Lib2312, suansil4, riddlerobert13 and all the guests, would love if you would put a name on the bottom of your guest comments so I can comment to you :)

Lib2312, I'm sorry you feel that way about Liv being pregnant. My response is that it has always been my wish on SVU that she got to have that experience. They should have allowed it to happen in S7/8 when they were building up to it, she should have been given the ability to show that as a youngER (not young) Mother, that she could have it all... but anyway, its your right to continue reading or not, I hope that you'll give it a chance and I promise to try not to let it get TOO cheesy (but I do love cheese!)

Anyway, here's the new chapter! Enjoy :)

Olivia took a day to spend with her family.

She'd woken up feeling a bit off again. Her head was throbbing; a grief hang-over, she thought. Trevor was still asleep – she wondered if he planned on going to work. Either way, she decided she would phone it in. She had so much to do still back at her own apartment with packing and organizing what needed to be shifted across.

There was some negotiating about furniture which still hadn't been sorted out. Trevor's idea was to put it in storage but Olivia wanted some kind of familiarity for Noah, even if it was just a shitty old worn couch. She countered that her couch at home was cleaner and had far less stains on it than the off-white one that Trevor had stupidly decided to put in the room where Eloise played the most.

She yawned and looked at her shirtless beau beside her and felt a weird mix of contentment and sadness for him. He had tossed and turned well in to the early hours and had got up to comfort his daughter almost every hour on the hour. At first it was monsters in the room, then she was cold, then she had tried to make her way in to their bed between them, but Trevor was trying very hard to break the habit of allowing her to climb in whenever she felt like it.

Olivia was more inclined to let her sleep with them if only for comfort, but she left the decision up to him. It wasn't her place to say.

She got up and slipped on Trevor's warm black terry cloth robe that she had all but claimed. Just as she finished checking in on Noah she heard Eloise stirring in her room, the beginnings of her cries. She made her way down the hall and let herself in, closing the door behind her, not wanting to wake Noah or Trevor – it was just after 6.

"Baby, its okay Livvy is here…"

"Mommyyy," she whined. Olivia made her way over and scooped her up, cradling the tiny toddler in her arms. She figured Eloise would at one stage get some height behind her like her father, but she was just as likely to take after her small-framed mother.

Olivia got in to bed with her and leaned against the bed frame. She pulled the covers over them and rocked her gently. She couldn't help but to feel satisfied as Eloise's cries turned in to soft trembling sniffles. "I know you want Mommy, but do you remember the conversation we had about Mommy last night?" Olivia asked gently, her voice soft and hushed.

Eloise looked up at her and nodded, her cries beginning again – not loud, just quiet whimpers.

"Its okay, I am here with you baby, Daddy and I are always going to be here with you, we will never leave you." She smoothed Eloise's hair from her forehead. "You're allowed to cry and be sad…"

She planted a kiss on her temple. "My Mommy has gone with God too," Olivia told her, using the same words Trevor had. "I miss her all the time and sometimes I cry for her," she explained, "but I still have Noah and you and your Daddy and when I feel sad I just talk about it with Daddy or I ask for a cuddle… you can do that too, you could ask Daddy for a cuddle or even me or Noah when you miss your Mommy, you could talk to Daddy about it…" she suggested. "Daddy has lots of stories to tell you about Mommy…"

She kissed Eloise again.

Olivia could tell that Eloise was still tired, she continually rubbed her eyes. "Why don't we go downstairs and I can make you a special warm drink like Daddy and I have in the morning."

Eloise nodded silently. "Would you like to watch cartoons with me while we eat our breakfast?"

She shook her head 'no'.

"No!?" Olivia pretended to be shocked, "what would you prefer to do instead?" she asked.

"I want Mommy…" Olivia shifted Eloise upright.

"I know, sweetheart, I understand why you don't want to watch cartoons, you just feel sad and that's okay." she murmured. "Would you like a cuddle?" she asked.

Eloise nodded. Olivia raised her up, drawing her the child against her. Eloise wrapped her arms around her shoulders and rested her head on the soft robe that covered Liv's shoulder. Olivia wrapped an arm around her waist and rubbed her back, trying to soothe her as best as she could.

She closed her eyes and rested her head back on the headboard.

Trevor smiled to himself, finding Olivia asleep in Eloise's room with his daughter draped over her shoulder. He'd only awoken himself because Fin called to find out where she was. He assumed she was making no effort to go to work and Noah was already late for school.

Since a month earlier, Olivia had made a huge step in giving Trevor status as a secondary caregiver to Noah's school along with Lucy. It meant he was able to inform the school if Noah was staying home and it granted him access to pick Noah up if he had to. Aside from that, it gave the school more options to contact if they couldn't get a hold of Olivia.

He took the responsibility seriously by putting Noah's school in his phone so he wouldn't miss calls. He had more-or-less made the decision for Olivia. He walked back in to the hallway as he pressed dial on his phone, checking to see that Noah was still asleep.

He informed Noah's school that he wouldn't be attending.

He called Fin back and informed him the same about Olivia. Fin seemed worried, but reluctant to ask questions, as he was about to hang up, Fin quickly spoke up. "Trevor, do I have a reason to be suspicious of you?" he asked.

"No?" he replied, "why would you ask me that?"

"I dunno, you tell me…" Fin shot the question back on him which made Trevor want to roll his eyes.

"I know why you're suspicious of me," he told Fin, "the same reason everyone is, because I worked for the defense, because of what happened with Sanchez. Does it not speak for anything that after that case I've left everything to work as an ADA? That now my mission is to make up for the wrong I caused?"

There was some silence, "I suppose it does," he paused, "Elliot been giving Liv a rough time?" he wondered, "she doesn't tell me anything… but…don't you let him step on your toes… or hers."

"Elliot is being respectful as far as I know," Trevor replied, "but I trust in what Olivia and I have… she loves me, she's moving in with me officially this weekend, Elliot can say or do whatever he chooses, she and I are good."

"Good to hear it's going well, take care of her… She doesn't need another heartbreak."

Trevor almost rolled his eyes. He respected her friendship with Fin, but he always knew that they could have rallied around her harder after what had happened with him, instead, just because Olivia pushed them away, they chose to stay away.

He would have pushed and pushed until she broke and let him in – he knew that with her, it was the only way. Sometimes he had to make her angry or bear to see her cry in order to get to the root of the issue.

"Ok thanks for the tip, I'll get Olivia to call you when she wakes up. Bye Fin." He knew Fin would have heard the irritation in his tone but he didn't really care.

He hung up and went back to Eloise's room. He leaned over Eloise and slowly picked her up from Olivia. Both stirred.

Olivia opened her eyes slowly and glanced around for a moment and realized where she was. "Hey baby…" he greeted his girlfriend. He gave her a little smile. "How are you?"

She sat forward and winced, rubbing her neck. "Shit, what's the time, I need to call work."

"Its okay, its done. I spoke to Fin, just give him a call later… Noah is still asleep, I called his school and said he won't be in. I spoke to my boss and told her what happened, she told me to take some time, so… I figured we could all just chill out and have a quiet day together," he suggested.

He watched Olivia get up slowly and stretch. "I feel so weird and lethargic," she murmured, making a face. "Thanks for doing all that."

He felt her forehead, "Are you okay? You're a little warm…" She gave him a half-smile. "I'll be fine, I probably just need to eat."

"Why don't we go downstairs and I'll start waking up little miss or else she's going to be in a mood all day. We'll get you a coffee and some toast."

They made their way downstairs. Olivia explained what had happened when she got up earlier.

Trevor was grateful to have her there supporting them. He knew there was no way he would be able to deal with it without her.

Olivia had a shower after a particularly weird, nauseous reaction to the coffee she'd had for the second day in a row. She stood beneath the spray of the water wondering what was going on, considering seeing a doctor. Her body felt like lead, just heavy and constantly exhausted.

She thought about how she'd been burning up more energy with a three-year-old but considered that one of the mother's from Noah's school was 42 and had no problem with energy and had a brand newborn baby.

Her mind ceased to work for a moment, overcome with a dizzying thought. "No…" she said out loud. She quickly counted the symptoms in her head – she couldn't be pregnant, she told herself, she was too old, she had already began menopause and the horror of having to tell Trevor made her feel hot and panicked.

It wasn't possible, she told herself.

She shut the thought down as quickly as it hit her. There wasn't any way it was remotely possible.

She snacked on some honey graham crackers and together she and the kids and Trevor went across to her apartment. Both of the kids were quiet and sedate; Eloise held Trevor's hand and walked slowly by his side. He had to keep slowing down, not wanting to have to carry her everywhere. Noah walked ahead, anxious to get the last of his things in boxes and back to Trevor's house.

Olivia's apartment was sparse, most things were packed in boxes. Noah ran straight in to his bedroom and Olivia looked around at the small pile of messes that needed to be packed.

"What do you want me to do first?" Trevor asked.

Olivia turned in a full circle looking around her place. She sighed. "I dunno where to start."

"Just pick up somewhere," he replied, wondering why it seemed so difficult for her. He decided to lead by example. He let go of Eloise's hand and walked around to grab a box from the dining table. He went to Olivia's shelf and crouched down, starting to pull books out.

"Daddy," he turned to find Eloise beside him, her voice was soft, shy almost a whisper.

"Yes honey?" he asked, turning around, feeling her little hand on the back of his shoulder.

"Daddy, why is Livvy crying?" he asked. He looked up to see Olivia staring out of the window of her kitchen listlessly.

He slowly got up and made his way over to her. "Liv…?" he questioned her. She turned to him and laughed, brushing tears away from her face. "What's wrong?" he asked her.

"Nothing, I'm just … feeling weird about saying goodbye to this place," she chuckled. "I'm fine, I swear." She glanced down at Eloise who was back right by her father's side. "It was sweet of you to be worried about me, Elly," she smiled. "But I'm okay."

"Do you miss your Mommy?" she asked her.

Olivia gave her a weak smile and leaned over to kiss Eloise's forehead. "I'm okay," she said again. "Are you okay babe?" she asked her.

Eloise nodded.

"Why don't you go and see what Noah is up to?" she asked.

She shook her head and looked up at her Dad. "I just wanna stay with my Daddy," she replied. Olivia understood. She smiled at Trevor, her tears clearing up.

"You sure?" he asked, looking in to her eyes, "is something else bothering you?" he wondered, "if there is, you can tell me…" his forehead creased with concern. Olivia wasn't generally overly sensitive but he'd seen her cry almost every day for seven days straight.

It was out of character.

"Yes I promise, I'm being silly, I want nothing more than to for Noah and I to come live with you and Eloise."

Trevor smiled and kissed her softly.

"Daddy," Eloise tugged at his pants and he smiled, giving her his attention. "Daddy, can I have a cuddle?" she asked, holding up her arms. It was something that she had never actually requested before. He smiled warmly at her and reached down to pick her up.

"Of course you can have a cuddle, honey," he kissed her cheek and felt her wrapping herself around him.

Noah finally emerged from his room. "Mommy, can Elly come and play?" he asked.

"I'm not sure Eloise wants to play right now, honey, but I need you to start putting your clothes in to the suitcase I put out for you. "

"Can you please help me?" he asked, a little whiny.

"I guess there's your place to start," Trevor smiled. "Elly can help me with the book shelf, can't you, baby?" he asked.

She nodded despite having no idea what she was agreeing to.

Olivia drew in a deep sigh and went to follow her son to his room.

Almost everything was packed after lunch. Olivia had left Noah to play with the last of his toys that could fit in his bag and she was finishing off her own clothes.

At the bottom of her closet drawer she pulled out something that stirred her emotions – she had completely forgotten about it. Something she had bought on a silly whim once, a just in case, or in her hopeful mindframe at the time; a when it happens for her potential newborn – for the baby to wear on its way home from the hospital.

She held out the new born outfit out in front of her and felt the tears welling in her eyes; a sweep of grief for the child she had desperately desired for over a decade before Noah came along.

"Fuck," she muttered, hating her sudden sensitivity.

She felt so foolish for buying the outfit; for the conversation she had with the sales clerk at the check-out at the time. Ohhh is this for you? Are you expecting?

Liv had smiled and touched her stomach as if there was endless possibilities inside of her; a future that would change the course of her life. She wanted to know how it felt; to pretend, to let herself believe for just a moment that she was nurturing and growing a life inside of her. She nodded at the sales clerk. "Yeah," she replied, nodding confidently. "Its still early but… I couldn't resist."

The woman had grinned at her, "Is it your first?" she wondered.

Olivia had nodded. "Yeah, my first, we're very excited," she added as if she was just one part of a loving couple who had entirely planned for their bundle of joy.

"Well, congratulations, it will change your life, a lot of sleepless nights but every single one of those nights will be worth it."

Olivia's thoughts were interrupted when she heard footsteps and quickly tucked in inside her keep bag where Trevor wouldn't see it.

She sniffed and blinked away her tears and picked up the rest of the things from the drawer.

"Hey baby, how are you going in here, do you need a hand?" he asked, looking in to her almost bare closet space.

"No, I think its almost done. What are Noah and Elly up to?"

"Elly's asleep on the couch and I set Noah up with the iPad for some time on his game. I was thinking of going and grabbing some lunch, I'm hungry and you've eaten two graham crackers all day.

She felt his arm around her, drawing her near. She rested her head against him and smiled. "Yeah, I'm actually pretty hungry," she replied.

"What would you like?" he asked.

"I don't know… I feel a bit bloated at the moment, maybe something healthy."

"Liv, eat whatever you want. I don't care if you're bloated. You're having your period, don't you just want to attack some cravings?"

She laughed, "You really just really know about periods from watching terrible TV shows, don't you?" she teased him.

She saw his cheeks flush. "Kiss me," she commanded him.

He leaned over and let his lips linger over hers. "I love you," she told him as she drew away.

"Love you too," he replied. "Now do you want a salad or do you want an amazing burrito?" he asked with a wink.

"Mmmm you had me at Burrito. Beef. Rice and beans…extra sour cream." Her stomach grumbled at the thought.

"Chilli fries?" he asked.

"Stoppppppppp…." She sighed, "yes, obviously chilli fries…"

He chuckled. "I know the way to your heart…" he winked, slipping his arms around her. "Are you all good?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm just about done, grab some food, we'll eat lunch and we can start taking the lighter stuff." She paused, "What are we gonna do about my couch?"

Trevor knew the couch was a contentious issue for her – he didn't like it, he didn't think it was big enough, but he understood that the house would always remain his unless some of her things decorated it.

"Well… I was thinking—does it bother you that your furniture isn't in my house or is it that everything inside is mine and nothing of yours?"

"Yes," she replied tensely. "I'm not trying to claim ownership in your house, but I want some of it to feel at least a little like a home to Noah … and for me too at least those creature comforts."

"Well what about if together we bought some new furniture… made the townhouse a home together… we can refurnish, you can put your touches on everything, that's kind of the stuff I'm not good at anyway. You saw how minimal it all was when you first came in…"

Olivia sighed. "I dunno… I can't think about it right now, can we just please take the couch, its just the one thing I'm asking for, I don't care about anything else…"

He sighed too, wondering why she was so attached to it.

"Trevor…" she began, "why are you so against having one of my things in your home?"

"Our home," he corrected her.

"No," she argued, "right now its your home and we are moving in and its still your home because none of the things are ours."

"Where are we going to put the couch?" he asked.

Olivia threw up her hands, "I don't really give a fuck Trevor, throw the dining table away and we'll put it there and eat on it, I just want something that's mine…"

He gawked at her, surprised by her sudden burst of frustration. "Ok great, we'll throw away the dining table, that sounds like a good plan. We'll teach the kids that eating on the couch is a great idea."

"Nothing wrong with eating from the couch," she mumbled, her voice lowering, sometimes hating all of his weird idiosyncrasies and conventions that made him think he was way more polite and proper than everyone else.

She knew she was being mean, even if it was in her mind, but she knew that sometimes he could stubborn about things.

"Yes there is…" he argued, "you sit at the table like civilized people and have conversations, Olivia…"

"Maybe that was your fancy civilised life growing up," she shot back making air quotes above her head, "but unfortunately I was happy to have whatever time with my mother that I could without her passing out beside me and it's made me worry less about what civilized people do…" She glared at him, "so if Noah and I eat on the couch and bond over cartoons, so be it."

Trevor was confused. "How are we having a fight right now?" he asked, his head spinning. "Are we having a fight?" he added to be sure.

His cluelessness made her anger fall away and suddenly she felt amused. She shook her head, "I'm frustrated that's all… I don't know why this is such a big deal. Does the couch devalue your property?"

"We'll take the couch," he said finally, "I'm sorry, I just don't really want to get rid of a large couch for this one that probably won't fit all of us on it… so I thought the option to get a new one would be better…"

"Can't we just put it in the entertainment room?" Olivia asked. "You said we were gonna clean that out and put the things that the kids can't have in their bedrooms in there."

He nodded, "Yeah… okay, we'll do that. Sorry baby, I didn't mean to make you feel bad about it." He kissed her forehead. "But I do still think we should get some new furniture."

"Okay but let's just concentrate on getting this done, my brain is barely functioning today."

He agreed. "Okay I'm gonna go and get some lunch, if you need anything send me a text but I won't be long."

She gave him a wave and finished up what she was doing.

"Where's Daddy?" Eloise asked, alarmed, waking up from her nap only minutes after he'd left. "Livvy?" her voice was urgent and full of alarm, "Livvy, where's Daddy?" Olivia met her in the hallway.

"Honey its alright, Daddy just went to get some lunch, he will be back soon," she told her, connecting the dots and realizing that she had not left her father's side since she'd woken up.

"No!" Eloise exclaimed. "No, no no! Daddy!" she shouted at her, "I want Daddy!"

Noah came to see what the commotion was about. "Elly, we can play with my toys until Daddy gets home," he said with so much affection that Olivia let it slide that he'd accidentally referred to Trevor as Daddy.

"Its okay Noah," Liv told him. "El," she crouched down, wincing as she got to her knees. "its okay to be upset but I promise Daddy will be back very soon."

Neither Olivia nor Noah were ready for the deep breath followed by the loud howl that came from her tiny set of lungs, screaming for her father. Olivia got to her feet faster than she thought were possible and scooped her up but Eloise was having none of it. She kicked her legs and pounded her fists. Olivia copped a kick to her thigh and a tiny, angry fist almost to the jaw.

"Its alright honey," she said softly but firmly, grabbing her arms and tucking them down so that she couldn't swing them around. "I'm here, Noah is here, its okay."

"Daddy!" she wailed so loudly that Olivia noticed Noah had made a face and plugged his fingers in to his ears and started to back away. Ordinarily she would have put her down and let her cry it out, but she was traumatized and it was already starting to show less than 24 hours later.

Olivia knew she'd need to follow up contacts at work to get some help for her before she developed an attachment issue to Trevor.

"Eloise, I need you to listen to me," Olivia spoke loudly, over the top of her, "stop screaming, you are fine, Daddy will be back soon, I promise." She bounced her for a few silent minutes, "As soon as you stop screaming, I'm going to give you a big cuddle," she told her.

The little girl's sobs didn't stop but the screaming, piercing wails calmed. She was red-faced and hot, her skin blotchy from her tears. Olivia smoothed her hair as she continued to cough and sob for her father. "Are you ready for your cuddle?" Olivia asked.

Eloise nodded. Olivia hugged her tightly and closed her eyes, letting the air out from her lungs slowly. She knew that dealing with a child's grief was going to be significantly harder given that Eloise was too young to express herself properly.

Once she'd calmed a little more, Olivia set the little girl on the kitchen counter and since she didn't have any wash clothes, she had to settle for an unused dish wipe. She dampened it and wrung it out and stood before Eloise with a little smile. "Let's wipe your face, you're very hot…"

She was breathing in short, hiccupping gasps. She wiped her face and her clammy hands. "Honey, I am so proud of you," Olivia told her, "you are being so brave waiting for Daddy to come back," she smiled at her encouragingly. "Aren't you?" she prompted her.

Eloise nodded.

"Let's have a little talk, okay?"

She nodded again.

"I don't think it's acceptable for you kick me and punch me when you're having some big feelings. When we have big feelings we need to talk about them. We're allowed to cry or be mad but we are not allowed to hit or kick. You got it?" Olivia's tone was gentle but firm.

Her sobs began again but she uttered a small yes from her mouth.

"What do you feel?" she asked Eloise, "I can see that you're sad,"

"Daddy," she whined, not really able to communicate much else.

"Do you feel scared that Daddy isn't here with you?"

She nodded her head.

"Okay," Olivia gave her a soft smile and kissed her warm forehead. "Would it make you feel better if we gave Daddy a quick call?"

She nodded.

Olivia plucked her phone out of her jeans pocket and dialed Trevor's name.

"Babe, hey what's up?" he asked, answering the phone. "I've just left the restaurant please don't tell me there's something else," he chuckled.

"No," she smiled. "I just want to let you know that a certain someone is inconsolable about you leaving her sight and I need you to talk to her for a minute. You're on speaker, she's a bit calmer now and we've had a chat, but you need to tell her you're close."

Trevor felt terrible, he didn't even consider that she might not cope without him if she woke up.

"Honey are you there?" he asked, listening for his daughter. Olivia noticed the facetime request come through. Olivia handed the phone over to Eloise. "Talk to Daddy," she prompted her.

Eloise saw her father's face and she started to cry again.

"Hey honey," his voice was so soft and warm and Olivia couldn't help but to feel a swell of feelings for him within her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going to get some lunch but guess what? I'm on my way back right now…"

"I wanted to come," she whined.

"You were asleep honey," he explained, "Daddy didn't want to wake you up but I'll be back in a few minutes and guess what?" he asked, adding a little excitement to his voice.

"What?"

"I got you and Noah some fries to share and your favorite corn chips with the cheese sauce. Are you excited?" he asked her, trying to rouse some sort of reaction that wasn't tearful.

"Yes," she said in a little voice.

"Come on, " Trevor prompted her, "you can do better than that! Are you excited for your special lunch?"

"Yes," she giggled so briefly at her father's silliness.

"Okay, I am going to hang up the phone now and I'll be back in less than ten minutes. Why don't you go and ask Noah to count to show you how long ten minutes is."

"Okay Daddy," she murmured.

"Okay I'm going to hang up now. When am I going to see you?" he asked, double checking.

"In ten minutes," she replied slowly and sullenly as if she was almost unsure.

"Correct, ten minutes, bye honey. Pass me back to Livvy please."

Eloise reluctantly handed the phone over. "See you soon babe thanks." Olivia told him.

"All good, sorry," he apologized.

She just smiled and winked and hung up.

Once they were back home, Trevor went to go to the kitchen and realized he had a shadow following him.

He knew he needed to try to put a stop to it sooner rather than later or else if Eloise had her way, she'd be coming to work with him.

"Honey," he began kindly, "you don't need to follow me, I'm just going to the kitchen," he told her softly. " I am not leaving the house. After I figure out what we're having for dinner I am going to have a shower and you are going to stay downstairs with Liv and Noah, okay?"

She stared at him with her big eyes. "Daddy I want to help?"

"I don't need your help, I'd like you to actually stay in the living room and play until its bath time."

"I don't want you to go, Daddy," she cried. "I will be good, I promise."

Olivia eyed Trevor, wondering how he was going to navigate it all.

Trevor made the distance between himself and his daughter and got down to his knees to meet her level. "El, come here with Daddy for a second," he began seriously.

She went to give him a cuddle but he took her small arms in his hands and held her at a distance. "I need you to show me your good listening for a minute, okay?"

She nodded innocently.

"I know you're sad about Mommy dying," he said. He knew he needed to use the words, as cold as they sounded. He had researched information for the two nights previous and any other words could have caused confusion, he realized telling her that her mother had gone with God could possibly make her feel weird about any spiritual beliefs she might have found comforting in the future. "I'm very sad too," he admitted, "but I'm not sick and I'm not leaving and I am not dying. I am going to be with you for a very long time."

She stared at him, not saying a single world.

"Eloise, Mommy didn't die because you weren't a good girl and she didn't die because of anything you did, she died because she was sick and she tried very hard to be well and she loved you so, so much, do you understand?"

She nodded solemnly. Trevor could feel the tears stinging the backs of his eyes. Slowly but surely Eloise's face became sadder and her eyes; more hollow.

"You are a wonderful daughter," he told her seriously sniffing, "you are the sunshine of my life, did you know that?" he asked her with a little smile. "You make me and Livvy and Noah so happy and none of us are going to leave you."

"But why did Mommy?" she asked. Her question came out as though she was scared to ask and it made his eyes well up, a stray few tears pooling at his eyeline.

"When somebody dies, my sweetheart," he began, completely sitting on the floor and pulling her in to his lap, "they don't always get a choice," he thought about the irony of Helena choosing to give up her daughter. "Mommy was sick…"

Noah was watching the conversation from afar and got up and came to Trevor's side. "Does that mean my Mommy could get sick?" he asked.

"Noah," Olivia warned, "we can talk about it later…"

"No, it's okay," Trevor said, "I think it's a good idea for us to talk about it – all of us," he said, "I think it's good to talk about our feelings," he smiled at both of the kids. "Here Noah, why don't you sit down, maybe Mommy will sit down too." He glanced up at Olivia who was sitting on the edge of the couch a short distance from them.

Olivia really had her own reservations about being able to explain death to Noah but she knew Trevor was right. She went and sat down with them.

"The thing is, Noah, it's not the kind of sick that all of us get, it's a special kind of sick that Eloise's Mommy died from," Trevor explained.

"So if you or Mommy catch a cold you wont die?" he checked, just to be on the safe side.

"No," Trevor smiled through his tears, feeling Olivia's hand on his back. "Mommy and I are fine. But I want you both to know that your Mom, he poked Noah in the tummy "and your Daddy," he poked Eloise playfully too, "we are fine and we are always here for you…"

"Do you understand that, sweetie?" Olivia asked Eloise.

She nodded. "Do you feel sad or angry or upset or even confused?" Olivia pushed softly. "Do you want to tell us?"

Eloise avoided looking at Olivia and rested her head on Trevor's shoulder. "Sad."

"What about you, Noah?" she asked him, "how do you feel?"

"I feel sad for Eloise because I would be sad if something happened to my Mommy." He looked over at Eloise sitting in Trevor's opposing thigh. He touched Eloise's arm. "You can share my Mommy, Elly."

"Maybe with some time, honey," Olivia told Noah gently.

"I want my Mommy," Eloise said softly.

"That's okay," Olivia told her, "I know that I'm not Mommy… but I can here for you when you're sad too, just like Daddy."

"Guess what?" Trevor asked the three of them, "we are a family now, the four of us… and we need to look after each other and trust each other and tell the truth about our feelings always okay?"

Noah looked to Olivia, "We're family with Trevor and Eloise?" he asked her as if Trevor might have been wrong.

"Yes honey, we live here now with Trevor and Eloise, this is our home and we are going to be a family together."

"Is Trev my Dad now?" he asked, excited.

Olivia couldn't help but to laugh. "Noah, no that's not it… family isn't always a Dad and a Mom together in the one house. It's the way you see Lucy and Grandma Nessa… you know Lucy isn't your Mom or your sister or that Grandma Nessa isn't your real Grandma."

"I know Trevor isn't my real Dad too… you don't upset when I call Grandma Nessa my Grandma."

Olivia looked to Trevor for help. He shrugged at her. He didn't know how to answer the question.

With a strange pang in her gut, Olivia shrugged. "I don't know how to answer your questions Noah, it's just different."

"We need to respect what Mom wants, bud," Trevor reminded him. "But regardless of what we call each other, we all love each other and we are all safe with each other so let's concentrate on that."

Trevor sat over his phone for a few minutes and turned to Liv, his mouth open. "They think they've got Sanchez… Elliot wants to call, do you think you'd be okay if I go down and see what's going on?"

Her mouth fell open. "What?"

"Yeah… look…"

The text was from Elliot, "We got him, Trevor, I know you are off and I know there is an emergency with your family. I don't want to do the wrong thing here and am happy to go to Kara but you're on this case so, wanted to check first."

"If you want to go its fine, it might be good for Eloise to have a bit of space. I can handle it."

Trevor kissed her cheek. "Don't worry about dinner, I can bring something back."

"That's okay, we've had a big lunch, I'll just make them some tinned spaghetti and grilled cheese,"

Trevor rose his eyebrow and made a face, "Good luck with that, that sounds disgusting and I'm almost certain Eloise will not touch it."

Olivia laughed, "We'll see about that."

"Also, I don't own tinned spaghetti, but I do have home-cooked frozen meals in the freezer and it's all clearly labeled so if you want to eat something, eat it."

"Okay well tinned spaghetti is going on the shopping list," she told him with a smile, wrapping her arms around him. "Go catch that asshole."

He kissed her forehead and then her lips and made his way up to his bedroom, letting Eloise know that he was going upstairs. She was a little calmer; both were thankful for Noah engaging her in some coloring and then some blocks and he was patiently showing her how to draw a basic animal and cat.

"I love your drawings, guys…" Olivia complimented them both. "Why don't we move to the table and you can have more space?" she noticed that Eloise kept stabbing holes in the paper because the surface beneath it wasn't hard enough.

"Oh good idea Mommy, can you draw with us?" Noah asked.

"Sure, just give me a few minutes. Here let me help…"

Olivia helped them transport their things to the table and put placemats down beneath their papers so they wouldn't make the exposed wood of the table.

"Would you like me to put your booster on the chair?" Olivia asked Eloise who was struggling to reach the top of her page.

She nodded.

"Yes?" Olivia prompted her. When Eloise nodded again, "Yes please Livvy," she urged her.

Eloise looked up at her and smiled, sheepish, "Yes please Livvy, I wanna sit up!"

Olivia was just glad to see her smile for the first time all day. She set up her booster seat and set her down on it, pushing the chair in. "Let me know if you want to get down, okay?"

"Yes, thank you." Olivia glanced at Noah who was smiling at her. She made her way around to his side and kissed him on top of his head. "Thank you my beautiful boy for being so patient and kind, you make me so proud. I love you."

"I love you too Mommy," he replied, hugging her arm against him.

"I won't be long you guys," Trevor told the three of them as they walked him to the front door. Olivia was holding Eloise who had gotten herself a little hysterical once he announced he was going to work for an hour or so. She had calmed and promised her father that she would play with Noah and Olivia until he returned.

Trevor couldn't help but feel full of contentment and pride, realizing just how much he was loved as they all stood in the doorway adoringly.

He loved the way Liv looked at him as if he was her actual hero, that he could do no wrong, it was unconditional and full of devotion. He'd never felt so good about himself. He held out his arms to give Noah a hug. Noah smiled and let Trevor lift him a few feet off the ground. "Love you, Bud, be back soon." He turned to his daughter and smiled at her. "Look at you, my brave girl, Livvy and Noah are gonna keep you safe and Daddy will be back as soon as he can. You gonna be a big girl and try not to cry for Daddy?" he asked.

Eloise nodded, "I'll be a big girl," she confirmed

Trevor smiled and kissed her cheek and stroked her hair. "Love you…." He answered

He glanced at Liv and gave her his best grin. "How wonderful it is to be part of this amazing family," he gave her a wink. His grin made her knees feel a little weak. She couldn't stifle her grin back. "I love you so much baby," he told her, "I will be home as soon as possible. Let me know if you need something, I have my phone."

"I love you most," she winked back, kissing his lips, once, twice and three times – letting the third kiss linger.

"Doubtful," Trevor replied, waving at them as he wore a far less casual outfit to work. A pair of distressed black jeans and a blue button down top.

"Okay show me what you have…" Trevor sat down at his desk and Elliot put the file down before him and sat down. "I feel like we have enough for a warrant to search the house house… and bring him in for questioning."

"Lemme see…" Trevor put on his clear framed glasses and drew the file close to him. He read the report over. "So the warrant from Lampazzi's house came up with what?"

"Weapons that had trace evidence of blood from Allegra Hewson; the knives were purchased from an illegal weapons dealer who broke off from the Russian Mafia – he's now in jail and singing like a canary, he says that he sold them to Sanchez."

"Does he not understand what happens to the squealers?" Trevor asked, troubled by how he was going to be able to connect all the dots in court.

"He does, but he was turned in by his own brothers, he's looking for revenge. Then I've got the Randwick sister, total junkie. Richard's got her in interrogation at the moment, she's really jonesing and I think she'll eventually talk, she already blurted out that she was put up to the kidnapping by Lampazzi…" Elliot explained.

"Detective, I need you guys to do this absolutely 100% by the book, we can't let this slippery mother fucker get away with any of this," Trevor said seriously. He looked up at Elliot, "Do not overstep, do not get violent, just… you know what I mean, right?"

"Yes," Elliot replied tersely.

"I'm reluctant to ask for a warrant for Sanchez, I don't think any judge would sign it, it's still too murky," he replied. "You have to give me something else." He sighed, "It's there, Elliot, it's there, you guys are close but… I can't take this, there's still nothing directly, strongly linked. At best, the weapons dealer pointing the finger at Sanchez would be construed as their word against each others so unless this former-mobster has some evidence."

Elliot sighed and rubbed his eyes, he was tired, he'd been working the case obsessively.

"Why don't you go home and go to bed, sleep on it and get back at it tomorrow with fresh eyes." Trevor recognized that Elliot was still on a one-track-mission and despite their hiccups, he could see that the detective was struggling. He figured he was using work to escape from his grief of losing his wife.

He nodded slowly, "I just don't want another dead girl to show up…" his voice trailed off.

"I understand that," Trevor replied, "I genuinely respect your commitment but your family needs you."

He met Trevor's eyes. "Is your family emergency resolved?" he asked curiously.

"Not exactly. My ex wife suicided," he told him bluntly, deciding that it was okay to level with Elliot Stabler. He knew that he had to start being okay with working with him and even more okay with Olivia possibly rekindling a friendship with him.

"Oh… I'm really sorry to hear that, you've got your daughter?" he asked.

Trevor nodded, "Yep, we shared custody but things got a little … heated in the past—well, since Liv and I have been together, to be completely honest, but previous to that we were … really good friends still."

Elliot was a man of many words and Trevor didn't expect him to come out with anything supportive. "You're lucky that you have Olivia, I don't think you could have someone who will be more loving toward your daughter and more supportive to you."

Trevor nodded. "I am very lucky to have her, I am more than well aware of that. Noah too."

"I know we got off on the wrong foot…" Elliot began, sheepish, exhausted and finally facing up to the reality of what his situation was. "I came back here because it was familiar, I needed… familiar after losing Kathy."

"You didn't come back for Olivia?" Trevor asked, prompting some honesty from him.

Elliot leaned forward and leaned his elbows on his knees and frowned, wincing as if he was trying to see something that wasn't there. "I don't know… I don't think so, I mean…" he paused and finally made eye contact with Trevor, "most importantly, I wanted to make good on how much of a piece of shit I was to her. I just expected things to go a little different."

"How so?" Trevor asked, he was felt for Elliot in a way and he could understand his pain of losing someone who meant so much to him.

Elliot gave a wry laugh, "I'm not coming for Olivia, Trevor, its okay."

Trevor raised an eyebrow, "With all due respect, I don't think it'd matter if you were, we're solid."

"Right, sorry, I didn't mean to uh-" he held up his hands, "I just want to know that she's happy. She deserves that."

"I believe she's happy," Trevor replied evenly, "but maybe you should ask her that yourself."

"Right…"

Trevor closed the file and slid over to Elliot. "Get me something solid, but have a good sleep first."

Elliot took the file and stood up.

"Call me day or night when you get that evidence, I want to see him go down harder than anyone."

They walked out of his office together.

"Mommy," Noah whined, coming in to the kitchen where Olivia was attempting to make some dinner.

"What's wrong babe?" she asked him, she could already tell by his tone that he was about to complain about something.

"Eloise is too sad to play, she doesn't want to do anything but lay on the couch with her cuddle cloth."

"Honey its okay, remember that Elly is feeling so sad about her Mommy, you need to be patient with her."

Olivia was proud of herself, she'd successfully made the kids some potato mash and breaded chicken fillets all thanks to Trevor doing his best to teach her in the kitchen.

They ate a quiet dinner. Eloise picked at her food as she usually did and Noah and Olivia tried their best to make conversation with Eloise but she was quiet and didn't want to add much."

"Why don't we have bath time and get in to our warm pajamas and we can watch a nice fun movie together and wait for Daddy to get home…"

"When is he coming home?" Eloise pouted.

"Shouldn't be too much longer, babe," she promised her. She picked her up and took Noah's hand and ran a bath.

"Okay who wants to go first?" she asked them both.

"I don't want to have my bath first…" Noah said quickly.

"Great, Eloise you're first, let's get you some warm pajamas."

Olivia cleaned up the kitchen and the kids waited for her by playing for a short while, waiting for her to get a movie started. It was a little after 7.

Eloise pepped up for a little while but had dropped back in to a sad mood.

She wished there was a way she could help her pop out of it.

She turned the kitchen light out and made her way to the living room. She looked at the kids and smiled. "Mommy, I like it when you wear pajamas with us," Noah remarked, loving his Mom's long linen dog-print pajamas.

She smiled. "Hey… Elly, are you feeling a bit sad, honey?"

"I just want my Daddy…"

"I have an idea," Olivia began, "Noah what do we do when we're having a yucky day?" she asked her son.

Noah thought for a moment, "Oh! I know!" he said excitedly, "we listen to music and DANCE in our pajamas! Do you want to dance with us in our pajamas?"

Eloise shook her head.

"That's okay, Noah and I will dance to our favorite songs and if you feel like it, you can join us…"

Olivia got her phone and connected it to Trevor's stereo. She scrolled through her playlist.

"Sometimes I feel I've got to! Run away! I've got to! Get away!" Noah grinned excitedly and jumped up. Olivia grinned right back at him and took his small hands in hers as they twirled around the living room excitedly along with the terrible 80s Soft Cell song.

"Take my tears and that's not nearly ALL!" she sang to her son. They both laughed. Olivia looked over at Eloise who had scooted to the edge of the couch watching them with a little smile.

"You wanna dance with us!?" Noah asked her. "You can share my Mommy, I don't mind." He held out his hand and Olivia was filled with so much love and pride for her son.

Eloise slid off the couch and grabbed Noah's hand. Olivia held out hers too and the three of them danced together. She finally began to smile and giggle as they paraded around the living room.

Olivia was exhausted, but it was worth it to see the joy fill both of the children's faces.

The next song was a repetitive, silly song that Noah loved by Depache Mode. Olivia grinned at his funny attempt to do the robot, "I just can't get enough!" she sang along, twirling Eloise around until she heard her laughter.

"Daddy!" Eloise stopped in her tracks, resisting another twirl. She gasped looking behind them, a huge grin spreading across her face.

Olivia turned around to find Trevor in the doorway with a confused, but amused look on his face.

Eloise let go of Olivia and Noah's hand and ran at him with her arms open. Trevor lifted her up and swung her around. "What's going on here?!" he asked with a laugh, "What are you all doing?" he asked, "having a dance party!?"

"Daddy will you dance with me?!" Eloise asked him.

Trevor laughed. "Sure…" he stepped in to the living room and met Noah with a high five and Olivia with a kiss on the cheek. He swung Eloise around and made her burst in to a fit of giggles. It was so good to hear her laughter, he thought. He grinned at Liv.

He grabbed Noah's hand and twirled him around and then did the same for Liv, her big smile warming him through.

"I love you," he mouthed with a little wink.

"I love you too," she mouthed right back.