"Mommy your belly is fat!" Eloise announced, watching Olivia get dressed.
"Thank you…. for that," Olivia replied, unamused. It was true – at 18 weeks, she was starting to find it harder to hide, but she wondered where the three-year-old had heard the words.
"Eloise!" Trevor exclaimed, coming from the bathroom, "don't call Mom fat – in fact, I don't want you to ever call anyone fat. You got it?"
She said nothing in response to his irate but pointed to Olivia's belly, "it's the baby," she said in a smaller voice, afraid to get in to more trouble.
"I know it's the baby," he remarked, "but she's not fat, she's growing the baby," he explained, "and its not a nice word to use about anyone and if I hear you ever say it again you are in big trouble."
Eloise stared back at her father almost challenging him; but when he stared her right back down she quickly nodded her head.
Olivia shared an amused expression with Trevor. She was tired but was gaining a little more energy again.
"When is Uncle Sonny coming?" she asked, bored of the conversation.
Olivia smirked to herself. "Auntie Ez is coming too you know…"
Eloise ignored it.
"ooooft I am going to love having the weekend to ourselves…" Olivia remarked.
Noah had been sent to time out in his bedroom for encouraging Eloise to throw water all over the bathroom floor so that they could pretend to be fish. Eloise had fallen over and was now sporting an egg on her forehead. It had taken a lot of kisses and cuddles to calm her down and now she was simply tired and cranky.
Trevor chuckled. "Me too… I'm gonna go and talk to Noah and see if I can get him to apologize. Are you right to wait for Erika and Sonny to arrive?"
"Good luck!" Olivia exclaimed good-naturedly. "If I can say anything about that boy, its that he's stubborn."
/
Trevor let himself in to Noah's bedroom and was shocked to find him playing Minecraft on the iPad that was right by Olivia's handbag on the kitchen counter last time he had checked.
"Noah!" he exclaimed, "give me that iPad! You are on timeout!" Trevor was angry.
"No!" Noah whined, "I didn't do anything!"
"Give me the iPad!" Trevor commanded, speaking over him, moving toward him and holding his hand out, "right now."
Noah glowered at him from under his angry, fused eyebrows. "No, I don't have to," he said in a soft, unconvinced voice.
"Actually," Trevor replied, "you do. I'm not even going to be counting to 3 because you went downstairs and you took Mom's ipad without asking!"
When he made no motion to hand over the Ipad, Trevor stepped toward him and grabbed it out of his hands. Noah clung on to it and began crying loudly, protesting.
"Noah!" Trevor grabbed his fingers and pried them off the device. Once he had the iPad back he turned the game off which set Noah off again, he jumped up to try to grab it back from Trevor.
"No! That's it you're done, bud. No more iPad for two weeks, you've lost your privileges."
"I hate you Trevor." Noah said angrily, crossing his arms across his chest.
He couldn't deny it, he felt the sharp edges of Noah's words cut him. He didn't let it show. "I came in here to talk to you before auntie Erika and uncle Sonny come and take you and your sister for the night… but now I think you can stay home here with Mom and I because you are being hurtful and rude."
He began to cry, loudly, calling out for his Mom.
Olivia appeared at the door holding Eloise and wondering what the commotion was about. Trevor handed her her iPad. She threw him a quizzical look, wondering why he had it. "Noah has lost his iPad privileges for two weeks, he took your iPad from the kitchen while we were down the hall and he's just let me know he hates me so…"
"Noah, that is disgusting behavior, I want you to apologize to Daddy right now."
"Oh, I'm Trevor at the moment," Trevor couldn't help but inform her. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was bothered by it.
"No you're not," she said bluntly, "Noah, you owe Dad an apology. You've got five minutes to think about why you are sorry and what you want to say. If I ever hear you speak like that again to Dad, to Eloise or to me, you will be in such big trouble and if you ever touch my iPad without asking again your privileges will be lost forever."
He buried his face in his hands and cried and even though Olivia hated to see him cry, she also wasn't about to bring up a child who spoke to people he cared about like shit when it suited him.
She took Trevor and guided him out. The door bell chimed as they headed down the stairs. "Don't take that personal, Noah has said the same kind of shit to me before," she told him, "he told me he wished Lucy was his Mom and that he hated me too and once he actually called me Olivia because he was mad."
"What?!" Trevor laughed as they got to the landing. He took Eloise from her, "your son is a savage!"
"he really is," she agreed, heading to the door both of them managing to laugh, "he knows how to make it hurt."
"Hey guys!" she exclaimed, opening the door for Erika and Carisi. They were holding hands and looking loved up. It made Olivia feel so happy for her. They came inside and Erika made a beeline for her neice who was excited to see her.
"How are you guys?" Carisi asked, "ready for some alone time?"
"Yes!" both Trevor and Olivia exclaimed at once, "good luck to you both, they've been monsters since school yesterday; currently Noah is on time out and he's only going with you guys if he apologizes."
"It sounds like you guys need the break regardless," Erika replied. "Don't worry, we can handle Noah."
"Yeah, he'll probably turn in to a delightful angel for you both," Olivia rolled her eyes.
"So what are you guys gonna get up to?" Sonny asked curiously.
"Ew, don't ask them that!" Erika exclaimed.
"Lots of sex, obviously," Trevor blurted out casually, deciding to really lean in to Olivia's advice to him to start relaxing and treating his sister more as a peer than a child.
"Trevor!" Olivia exclaimed, "be careful what you say around the kids!" She turned to their company, "And don't worry, we're old and boring, that isn't going to be happening.
"Olivia is being polite, she knows its happening," Trevor chuckled, laughing at the pinkness of her cheeks. He paused as he passed her to kiss her cheek.
"Good for you!" Erika shot right back without flinching.
"Oh my goodness," Carisi blushed, "this is not… what I wanted to hear."
"Oh relaxxxxx, Sonny," Erika giggled, coming to his side. He said nothing and took Eloise from her. "Like we don't know that they're at it like rabbits…. Remember your chief's birthday."
"What?!" Olivia rose an eyebrow, half-amused, her face turning redder with embarrassment.
"Ezzzz, no!" Sonny shook his head, "stop it…"
Erika was on a roll, challenging Trevor who had only tried slightly to be playful with her. "You both just happen to disappear to the old office at the back of the bar? Come on… none of us are stupid," she grinned at Liv and Trev,'"oh, Ill be right back Trevor just needs some help calming Noah'" she made airquotes.
"Oh boy…" Trevor remarked, glancing at Olivia who was bright red with shame.
"It's okay Liv," Erika came to her side and gave her a little squeeze, "we are happy for you both…"
"Sounds like you're a little jealous actually," Trevor shot back, putting the embarrassment back on her.
It was her turn to flush, "well let's not talk about me," she replied. "Anyway, can I go up and see Noah?" she asked.
"Mmm, thought that'd shut you up," he replied beginning to make himself a coffee. "And no, leave Noah for five minutes, I have to go up and receive my apology before he's coming out of there," he replied casually.
"Oh shoot, what did he do?" Sonny asked.
"He told Trevor he hated him because he was on time out for something different and he got busted sneaking my iPad…," Olivia replied, taking a seat at the kitchen bench. "And to answer your question from before, Carisi, Trev and I are off to look at a few places."
"Look at my head," Eloise told Sonny, reaching up to her egg. "Noah did it cos he was naughty!"
"Noah didn't do that," Olivia replied, correcting her, "you slipped over because you and Noah were both splashing water all over the bathroom floor – he may have masterminded it, but you were being silly too," she reminded her.
Carisi hid a smile.
"I'll go and see if Noah is ready to talk," Trevor opted.
/
Trevor pushed open the bedroom door and found Noah laying on his bed holding open one of his picture books. He seemed a little calmer.
"Hi Noah, are you ready to apologize?" he asked him.
Noah looked at Trevor for a moment before he began to cry again. "No?" Trevor asked him, "Okay I can come back when you are."
"Noooo!" he quickly protested, jumping up. He tugged at Trevor's arm as he was about to leave the bedroom. "No, I don't want you to go," he whined.
Trevor turned to him, "okay, well what do you have to say?"
Noah hugged Trevor's legs and Trevor couldn't help himself, he leaned over and put his hand on the little boy's back soothingly. "I'm sorry," he sobbed.
"Why are you sorry, bud?" he prompted him, he kneeled down and met him closer to his level. Noah tried to cuddle him, but Trevor grabbed his arms to stop him, "you can have a cuddle in a minute but I want you to tell me why you're sorry."
"I didn't mean to say I hate you!" his body shuddered between words with each hiccups.
"Are you sorry that Eloise got hurt and that you took Mommy's iPad?" he asked him, barely able to stand to see him so worked up.
"Yes," he nodded, his face, crumpled and his lower lip protruding.
"Okay I'm glad to hear that," he replied, "I hate to be upset with you Noah and it hurts my feelings when you tell me you hate me so I don't want to hear that from you again."
He pulled Noah close to him and felt the little boy's circle around his neck. He hugged him closely, lifting him up. He kissed his forehead. "I love you bud, but I really need you to be a good role model for Eloise, you need to look out for her so she doesn't get hurt."
"I'm sorry Daddy," Noah rested his head on Trevor's shoulder. "I love you."
"I love you, bubba," he replied, giving him a little squeeze. "Come on, let's go downstairs, Uncle Sonny and Auntie Ez are here."
"I want to stay with you and Mommy," he said softly.
"No you don't. You've been looking forward to spending the weekend with Sonny and Erika for the past week, Mommy and I are doing boring things… you're going to have the best weekend."
/x`
"How are we?" Olivia asked Noah, glancing at Trevor, "all made up?"
"We're good now, aren't we bud?"
He nodded and rested his head back down on Trevor's shoulder. Trevor kissed him again on his temple. "Come on, cheer up, Uncle Sonny and Auntie Ez are waiting for you."
"Noah, I am gonna take you to the batting cage this afternoon after lunch and Ez and I are taking you and Elly to see a movie—does that sound fun?" Sonny asked him.
Noah nodded slowly, still sulking. He buried his head in to Trevor's neck to turn away from him. Olivia smiled and Trevor couldn't help but to relish the moments where the little boy vied for no one else but him. There were times where he only wanted Olivia too, but Trevor was happy in that moment that despite Noah's earlier words, he clearly didn't mean it.
"Hey, what's my name?" Trevor asked him, taking his hand, "are you still so mad at me that you've changed my name?" he prompted him.
"No," he murmured.
"Okay," Trevor smiled, "what's my name now? Just so I know we're really okay."
"Daddy," Noah replied, lifting his head.
He and Carisi shared a smile.
"Liv," Erika perked up, "do you think I could talk to you alone about something to do with the K-I-D-S?" she asked.
"Of course…" she replied. "Come on, follow me upstairs."
/
"Will Trevor and Carisi be able to hear me here?" she asked Olivia in a whisper as they went in to Olivia and Trevor's bedroom.
"No," Olivia smiled, realizing that Erika needed to speak to her in private probably far removed from the subject of the kids. "What's wrong?" Olivia closed the bedroom door behind them.
"I have been putting off telling Sonny about my situation with children for the past 2 weeks and last night he asked me if I wanted to be exclusive with him – which…" Olivia motioned for her to take a seat on the leather Maiz-canape near the window that overlooked the city. It had become her reading spot when she had time to herself.
They both sat down, "which I wanted to say yes but I felt like I was keeping this huge secret from him… so I cried like a stupid idiot and I got pretty hysterical."
Olivia turned serious. "How did he react?" She studied Trevor's sister's face and took in just how tense she seemed about the whole thing. She looked so much like her brother yet not at all – they had similar mannerisms and expressions but physically despite their eyes and their shared jawline, they looked entirely different.
She chuckled and avoided Olivia's eyes. "He was kind, he was so upset and worried that maybe I didn't feel the same and didn't know how to tell him so then he began to freak out – and I just blurted it out and … I can't fucking tell you how good it felt to just get it out in the open."
"Well…" Liv smiled, "you're both here together today – how did he take it?" she hoped with all her strength that Carisi did the right thing. She didn't want Trevor to be right any more than she didn't want Erika to be abandoned a second time.
"He said that being a father was important to him and if being a mother was important to me, we could find a way – if it's not viable for me to have a baby physically, then we would continue down different avenues."
Olivia smiled. "Is that okay with you?"
Tears welled in her sister-in-law's eyes and Olivia felt her soft spot for the gorgeous young woman grow. She put an arm around her and gave her a hug. "Its overwhelming because its all I needed from Mitch and he didn't want to adopt or to foster, he wanted his kids or no kids and there was no discussion about it and… so this is new… I was waiting to be rejected… and I'm still waiting to be honest with you, Olivia…"
"I get it, sweetheart," Olivia replied. "I know that feeling…" she told her pulling away, "but Sonny is an incredibly compassionate man and he will do the right thing, I promise."
"But… it's not necessarily the wrong thing if he wanted to walk away from me… I know Amanda is important-"
"No," Olivia said firmly. "do not let Amanda mess with your head. She is drama and Sonny is not. You make sure he knows that he is not to put you second to her, ever. I don't think he will ever do that to you, but if Amanda gives you a hard time, you tell me."
Erika nodded. "Thanks Liv, you have no idea how lucky I feel to have you in my life as my big sister," she smiled.
Olivia smiled right back at her. "Kiddo, you have no idea how much it means to hear that…" she replied sincerely.
"I haven't slept with him yet – sorry is that too much info?" she asked, covering her mouth.
"It's fine," she replied, "you can talk to me about sex, Erika, we're both adults."
"Thanks…" she sighed, "I'm just feeling so giddy about him and I guess I'm starting to fall in love and I'm just really scared of getting my feelings absolutely obliterated."
Liv gave her a wry smile and took her hand in both of hers. "Babe, its okay, we all go through that—before I met Trev… I had had my heart monumentally broken dozens of times by the people that I never ever thought would hurt me. But as hard it as it is, its best to in to every new experience with an open heart."
Erika nodded slowly. "Sonny has been… really patient, it's not even come up until last night—I told him about everything—what happened with Mitch and how much I've been holding in, I'm just afraid that he's feeling sorry for me and now he feels like he can't change his decision."
Olivia felt so much for her, she knew how she felt, she'd been there before. "Kiddo, Sonny is a really honest man, he will never do that to you. Trust him, I think he's genuine."
"Thank you Olivia, I mean it…" she murmured. "Do you think I should sleep with him?" she asked
Olivia was taken for a moment by her vulnerability. "Babe, I can't tell you that but I will tell you that you need to be sure and if it feels right, its right. There is absolutely no wrong or right amount of time to wait…"
"It's just new to me, I never thought I'd be in a position at 30 where I'd have to start dating again."
Olivia laughed, "I can't relate there…"
Erika smiled at Olivia. "How did you know that my brother was the one?" she paused, "or do you not know that yet?"
Olivia managed a chuckle, "I guess you can never really know for real – anything can happen and even the people you trust can disappoint you, but I realized quickly that your brother says what he means and follows through with the things that he says he will do. That made him easy to trust and the rest of it, I felt so comfortable immediately with him – telling him the things that I never could tell anyone else, he just made it .. uncomplicated and he fell in love with Noah too, that was important."
Erika smiled, "He wanted a son so much, he was happy to have Eloise but I know he at least twice brought up the subject of more children with Helena and it was met with disgust…"
"I don't have any bad words to say about Helena," Olivia said softly, "but I am glad that we are having a baby and if we have a girl, I am glad that he has at least one son who adores the absolute crap out of him."
"I love seeing him with Noah… its special, I don't know why but they have such a sweet relationship."
Olivia agreed. "Noah is happier too, his behavior is better," she trailed off and turned to Erika, "how do you feel about Sonny?"
"I am in love with him… I haven't felt like this ever…"
"Just take it slow, I know we have a tendency to run at stuff with all of our feelings but just try your best to.. go slow."
She nodded. "Thanks Liv, for your advice, Trevor's advice would be to concentrate on work."
Olivia laughed. "I am here for you anytime, okay?"
"Thank you… I can't really go to my Mom and besides, she'd barely have any sound advice with the way she let my Dad treat her. Her advice would be to offer up sex as a solution to every problem and steal someone's baby or else no man could ever love me."
Olivia balked at such an idea. "Yeah, I don't want to say anything bad because I'm sure your Mom is a sweet person – but that doesn't sit well with me and I would never give you advice like that."
"She's not a sweet person she's an asshole and I'm okay if you want to ever say that to me, Trevor on the other hand – he will defend her forever but she hasn't been a great mother to him either."
"I know,"
"Okay, better let you and Trev have your time in private."
"When you bring the kids back, we'll organize a time to have a girls day, with or without Eloise, I'll let you decide."
"I would love that…" Erika replied
/
"What is the first thing you want to do as a free man?" Olivia asked Trevor after they sipped their coffees directly across from one another in complete and utter silence.
He glanced up from the newspaper and smiled at her. "I'm doing it, get to read the newspaper in peace with my gorgeous, best girl and have a coffee and no crying, fighting, yelling, asking questions, asking for things, no reading the same line five times over before giving up…"
They both laughed. "Buuuut, I do love it," he added.
"I know but this is nice…" she agreed.
He reached across the dining table for her hand. She placed hers in his and felt him lace his thick fingers through hers. They shared a smile and both went back to their own articles.
/
"What are you doing?" Olivia asked him as he guided her in to their bedroom. "I don't think I can-"
"Liv, no," he chuckled, "that's not what this is," he promised, "take a seat… I have something I've wanted to give you for awhile now…"
"Okay?" she looked at him expectedly as she sat on the leather chase in their bedroom. He smiled at her, "wait here…"
He went to his cupboard and disappeared inside for a moment before he came back. "Close your eyes baby," he told her.
"Am I going to open them and find you naked?" she joked, grinning, but humoring him and closing her eyes.
He laughed. "No…not unless that's what you want?" he kidded with her. He came to sit beside her and put the small box on the other side of him where she couldn't see.
"Not really the right time," she replied.
"Okay, you can open your eyes now…" he told her.
She glanced at him, looking at him, expecting something. He smiled. He loved the casualness of being able to spend two entire days together without any plans – just hanging out and having some quality time. "Come here…" he lifted her legs and pulled them over him, turning his body to face her, getting comfortable on the maiz-canape, remembering the first night she had been in his room – she had been taken with the view overlooking the city. He pulled her thighs around him, stretching his legs out until she was in his lap. Cupping her backside in his hands, he drew her as close as he could.
"I want to give you something and it's special but when you see it I know you are going to think it's something but it's not that thing but it's in place of that thing."
Olivia raised her eyebrows, resting her hands on his shoulder. "Are you sure this isn't a sex thing?" she asked with a little laugh.
"No…" he laughed at her. "No it's definitely not… but I just want to say that and you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it…"
"Okay…" she nodded, "well are you going to show me… or?"
"Sure, but…first—" he leaned forward and pouted his lips, "give me a kiss."
"Oh, a gift with conditions," she winked, obliging him. He pulled away briefly and then kissed her again, closed lips, pressing softly against hers; lingering and tender until he pulled away and slowly opened his eyes.
"I love you," he told her holding her face in his hands stroking her smooth skin as his face fell over her light smattering of freckles that were only visible up close, "I love you," he repeated. "Unconditionally, wholly, bit-by-bit, yet, all at once…" he added.
"Aww Trev…" she murmured, holding her hand to her heart, beaming so hard that his words had caused her emotions to surface.
He chuckled, averting his eyes a little bashfully. "Don't get emotional, it'll make me get a little emotional…" he said softly, taking her hands from her chest and kissing them. He went to speak again but she stopped him.
"Wait—I want to say something too, I love you with everything I have, Trev, honestly… I just adore you and every single day I am pinching myself that I found someone who I love so whole-heartedly who feels equal-parts in love with me too."
They shared a meaningful smile as the overwhelming feelings passed between them. She leaned in and gave him another kiss.
"Okay…." He breathed in a deep breath- it felt like his chest was heavy with emotion and his hands began to sweat, "well fuck it…" he said, feeling shaky and nervous all of a sudden. The moment was more right than he could have expected. "Baby, I need you to just… scoot off me for a moment."
She glanced at him quizzically but he was already lifting her, gently pushing her backwards.
"I was wrong… I'm not adequately prepared, Liv, but this thing is the thing."
"Trevor-" she stopped, wondering what on earth was going on. She slid backwards off of his legs as he curled them from beneath her. She sat back on the chaise.
"Just… let me do this right-" he paused and took a deep breath trying to compose himself, his heart was absolute hammering against his rib cage with nervousness and his palms were slippery. He cleared his throat and reached for the box behind him.
"You want to do what right?" she asked, confused.
He gripped the box in his hand and got up. He saw her face flash with shock and alarm as he got down on one knee before her. "Wait… Trev- what are yo- are you-"
She stopped, silenced by her breath catching as his hands shook and he opened the ring box, holding it open for her.
"I wasn't planning on doing this – this isn't even the right ring but…" he paused, "Olivia Benson, I love you and I want to be with you forever, I want to punctuate our family with marriage," he knew he should have had had a speech prepared but the shock that spread across her face made him realized that they were both as underprepared as each other for what was happening.
She sat forward, immediately bursting in to tears. No one had ever asked her, no one had ever chosen her and chosen Noah—she was floored by his proposal, it was absolutely the last thing that she had expected to happen to her that day.
"No, why are you crying?" Trevor half-laughed, hoping that they were tears from being overwhelmed rather than tears of horror. "No, please don't cry – its okay if you're not ready."
She half-sobbed and half-laughed at the same time. "It's not that," she said, laughing and sobbing at the same time, quick to shut him up, knowing that he was nervous. "Yes I'll marry you, of course a thousand times, yes…" she leaned forward and took his face in her hands and kissed him, ignoring the ring. They kissed a few times, Liv slipped off the chaise and on to the floor before him, hugging him tightly.
She pulled away and saw that he was crying too. "Look what you made me do…" he laughed in spite of himself.
"I love you so fucking much!" she exclaimed joyfully with a grin, wiping her cheeks. He kissed her again. She thumbed at his tears.
"I am so fucking happy I can call you my wife," he grinned. "Has a nicer ring to it than girlfriend." He had briefly set the box down behind her when she had engulfed him, "speaking of, you didn't even look at the ring."
"I didn't need to, I knew my answer was yes, but, show me now, I'd love to see it…" She let out a giddy sigh, "are you kidding me with all of this? Is this real?" she asked.
Trevor regarded her with a look of deep affection, loving her huge, emotional reaction – it was what he wanted.
He let go of her briefly and took the ring from the box between his thumb and forefinger. He took her hand and and slid it on her ring finger. "This isn't an engagement ring—"
"Wait, so you weren't going to propose?" she wondered; curious. Feeling a tiny bit suspicious for a moment.
He laughed, "No… I wanted to only propose when I meant it with every little bit of me so I bought you this placeholder to wear that I guess is like… a promise to you—a commitment." He stared at the ring and so did she, "but then as we were talking, just now – and I'm telling you how I feel about you and it just doesn't get any more right than this… I realized that I do mean it with every little fiber of me… so now I just have to get you a proper ring."
Olivia examined it and shook her head, her eyes filling with tears again. "You don't have to get me another ring, this is beautiful…" she grinned at him and looked back down at the Cartier Love Lock Ring. It had a single diamond in each of the lock ridges. She watched Trevor twist it on her finger. "I wanted it engraved…" he said, "but I know its entirely corny…"
She started to laugh, "I want it engraved. I want corny and by the way…. Amazing fit, did you study my rings?"
"I did," he chuckled. "Will it fit your right hand, so when I buy you your actual engagement ring you can still wear this?"
She slid the ring off and tested it on her opposite finger. It fit just the same. He smiled before she returned it on her ring finger. He stood up, pulling her up off the floor. "I'm sorry it wasn't a special, dressed up event—it just felt so right—" he began second guessing whether or not it was special enough for her.
"No, she said, "I didn't want a production, this is—this was perfect…"
"We might be doing all this a bit backward, baby, but … I am so happy to be doing any and all of it with you."
"Me too," she murmured.
He tossed the ring box behind them on the chaise. "What now?" she asked, "how do I recover from this?"
He chuckled and pulled over toward the edge of their bed. "Well… its okay, we can just take a minute," he felt content and relieved that they seemed to be on the exact same page in terms of what they wanted – a no-fuss, production that focused more on their relationship than much else.
He drew her back on to his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She circled her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I love you…" she said almost inaudibly.
"I love you," he replied.
"I can't believe that somebody wanted to put a ring on my finger, I'm shocked…" she started to chuckle and Trevor found her genuine surprise to be jarring and a little heartbreaking for her.
"Why on earth would you think someone wouldn't want to marry you?" he asked, "you are one hundred percent marriage material. You're going to be the best wife. You're so funny, loyal, strong, you'll call me on my bullshit and you're great in the sack," he winked.
She started to laugh. She felt his lips against her forehead. She couldn't wipe the smile from her face. She looked at the ring again on her wedding finger and back at Trevor.
"Baby, this isn't even your engagement ring…" he chuckled.
"It can be," she replied. "I love it."
"I know, but I want you to have something a little more traditional and original for your engagement ring than a Cartier ring that everyone else has, this isn't unique…"
She loved him so much for being so thoughtful. "I just have never been able to wear a ring on this finger and… I feel like a full-fledged grown up now," she chuckled. "I'm lame, I know."
"You are not… you are incredibly sweet and you've made me so happy."
She drew him close and cuddled her body in to him warmly. He obliged her embrace and held her in a comfortable silence.
"As much as I would love to stay in this moment, we need to go look at the townhouses…" he sighed.
"I know, I have to wash my hair," she told him.
"No, your hair is fine…" she felt his fingers running through her locks, gathering it all at the back of her head. "you should put it up," he smiled at her, distracted by her hair for a moment, "I love to see your face without all this hair in your eyes…"
She chuckled. "I feel like it makes my face look too big…" she admitted.
"Don't be crazy… your face is a regular-sized face." He laughed at his own words of how absurd of a statement it is. "I love seeing your freckles and you just look…. Beautiful."
"You are beautiful," she replied. "And because you proposed to me, I can probably be swayed to make a gesture just as huge by wearing my hair up for you."
He laughed. "Wow, so sweet… it's definitely a power move, it makes my proposal pale in comparison."
They both shared a laugh. "Okay," she sighed. "I should go and and shower and find something to wear…"
As she stood, Trevor, pulled her close to him. He lifted her sweatshirt to see the growing swell in her stomach and placed his hands over it. "I really want to feel the baby kick…" he admitted, "how long will I have to wait?" he asked even though he'd asked her a couple of nights earlier and had done his own research.
"I'm sure there will be time for this little potato to be kicking me around soon enough. The weekly baby app I have says that he or she could start hearing some sounds now, so you could talk to it more?"
Trevor smiled. "I will, but I'm impatient," he replied with a laugh, leaning over and pressing his lips against her bump. He pulled her sweater down and got up too. He kissed her.
"Maybe we could celebrate our engagement with a couple of drinks-" he paused realizing that it was out of the question, "shit, I should have waited until after the baby."
Olivia laughed, "Trev, its fine, I've had 18 weeks without alcohol, I think I can handle it now."
"Okay well how about I take you to dinner or we could order in and watch a movie – up to you."
She gave him a tiny, closed-lipped smile. "I love the staying home idea, is that bad?"
"No," he shook his head, "I love that idea too…. So we go and get ready, get some coffee and take a walk to the first listing and then we can go to the other two, then we can think about what to get for dinner, we'll get some amazing dessert and then we'll chill out."
"Please let there be an afternoon nap somewhere on the cards…" she suggested.
He chuckled. She loved her afternoon naps since becoming pregnant. Sonny had told him that he had found her on more than two occasions in the cots back in the change room at SVU.
"Of course, you can have a couch nap and the best part is, you can nap for as long as you like and stay up as long as you like because we don't have to get up with children at the break of light," he grinned at her.
"Stop it, now you're talking dirty…" she chuckled.
"I could really talk dirty later if you want," he paused, "no, actually, I can't the baby could hear me-"
Olivia laughed for real, "Trevor, this baby is not going to ruin the best sex life I've ever had. It can hear my digestion and not much else, think of it like…" she thought, "like… a washing machine rumbling in the background—"
He laughed. "Right, so you like the sound of some dirty talk, let's see how that goes," he noticed she didn't say no.
Her cheeks turned a little pink. "Maybe… never really given it much of a try…" she tried to shrug nonchalantly.
"Well… lucky for you, I have been having some genuinely filthy thoughts about you that I could tell you about a bit later."
Olivia shrugged again, "cool, if you feel like sharing, if you think that'd make you feel better…"
He laughed at her ability to remain unmoved. He kissed her lips, "we'll see if you still have such a lack of reaction later…"
/
"I'm not sold on it," Trevor told her quietly as the realtor walked around the empty townhouse that had been on the market for quite some time. "the view is terrible—I want us to have a nice view and I kinda hoped there'd be a nice little garden or terrace for the kids."
Olivia drew in a deep breath and laced her fingers with his. "I know you told me not to worry, but- I can't afford even half of a place like this."
Trevor pressed his lips against her forehead. "We're getting married. We're a we not a I." he replied gently, "we want the best for our kids and we need space or three kids are going to drive us crazy."
She managed a chuckle.
"What do you think? This place has fabulous lighting!" The realtor made extravagant hand gestures toward the half window.
"Mmmm… we have a lot of lighting in our current place, probably more than this if I'm honest," Trevor replied, "the view isn't as nice as what we've currently got, either."
"Aren't you looking to downgrade a little?" he asked them, looking a little surprised.
"No," Olivia shook her head, a little irate that he seemed to take it personal that the property wasn't what they were looking for. "The place we are in his wonderful, but we would just like to move closer to schools for the kids and closer to work for us—so…"
"Oh," he murmured. He opened his black leather folder and shuffled some pages. Olivia glanced at Trevor and shared a little smile. She knew he was amused with the realtor's offense. He leaned over and kissed her lips, loving when she took charge of a situation.
"Okay well, if this property doesn't interest you, I do have an apartment that is two blocks down that we may be able to make a quick stop at," he suggested, "how do you feel about an apartment? It's on the higher end of your budget, but it's stunning."
"I guess it can't hurt to look-" Trevor shrugged. "What do you think baby?" he checked, wondering if maybe Olivia was getting tired.
"I mean, when you say higher end of the budget, in comparison to this price, is it significantly more?"
"Yes, it's a little more—I'm sure it'll still be within the range of what you're looking at."
"My heart, don't worry about money, I got you," he said softly, not really wanting the realtor to witness their private financial discussion. "We'll work it out, we need to find something and it has to be right."
"Okay," she relented.
/
"Oh shit, this is nice," Trevor remarked. He pulled Olivia gently to the main bedroom. It was huge – a living space, just like back at his. It had it's own balcony and the view was stunning.
"Wow…" Olivia breathed, glancing around. "It's gorgeous."
"Would you like to see the bathroom?" the realtor, Tristan, had asked them. Trevor disliked how pushy he was, they wanted the time to take in the apartment, get a feel for how it would be with all of their own things in it.
"Can we just … take our time for a moment?" Olivia asked in a sweet way. Trevor was glad that they were on the same page.
"How would you have our stuff?" he asked her, excited to see a nice, long gas fire place along the lower wall to the back of the room with inbuilt cupboards that led off to a large, walk-through closet space.
"I don't know, but…. This is nice."
"The advantage of an apartment block despite having a doorman and reception, there's a full gym, swimming pool, sauna and in indoor climb and play for children," he paused, "not to assume."
"We have children," Trevor nodded. "That actually sounds kinda nice – I can teach Elly to swim,"
"And Noah," Olivia added.
"And Noah," he added, "and it'll be good to have somewhere for them to play when its too cold out or they're being too energetic…"
Olivia had to agree, "Okay let's see the rest of it…"
/
Olivia woke up after her nap to the door bell ringing. She dragged her heavy limbs off of the couch. Trevor was no where to be seen. She could have slept for longer, but she couldn't ignore it.
She unlocked the door and opened it up and found a man standing with a huge bouquet of flowers and balloons. A smile immediately filled her lips. "Benson-Langan residence?" he asked, returning her smile.
"It is," she nodded, "thank you so much."
"Oh wow!" Trevor's voice sounded from behind her. She turned, "Babe, could you grab these while I sign?" she asked him, stepping aside.
Trevor took the bouquet of pastel-colored flowers that smelled so beautiful as they wafted past. She thanked the delivery man again and noticed that nested within was a bottle of champagne.
"Wonder who these are from? You?" she questioned Trevor.
He laughed, "No, actually not for once." She closed the door and followed him as he carried them to the kitchen counter. He handed her the card and had an idea of who they were from.
She smiled as she read it and glanced up at Trevor, "Did you tell them?" she wondered.
He laughed, "I may have called Erika just after you went to sleep – I really wanted her to be the first to know and I told her that she was allowed to tell Sonny but neither of them were allowed to breathe a word to anyone until you are ready."
Olivia grinned at him, "I'm not keeping our engagement a secret, Trev, not unless you need me to keep it on the downlow."
He shook his head and stepped closer. She looked up in to his face as he towered over her. He stroked her hair, smoothing down the strays. "No way, I'm happy to tell the world I'm marrying Olivia Benson – but we better wait til after the baby is born so that we can party."
"Kiss me," she commanded him. He leaned in nice and close, letting his lips hover just slightly above hers until their noses touched. He let his lips reach hers so briefly that there was barely any contact. He loved how needy she got if he held back just slightly. They were both aware of the little game he played but each time she fell for it, she didn't even care.
She stood on her tiptoes and captured his mouth. "I love you. I can't wait to be your wife."
"I can't wait to be called your husband – Mr. Olivia Benson—" he chuckled, kissing her again.
She laughed, loving that he was forward-thinking enough to not be weirded out by the idea of taking on her name. Despite it, she wanted so much to become Olivia Langan; but for work purposes, she would probably just keep her name and she knew he would be fine with that.
"Was Erika excited?" she wondered.
"Over the moon…" Trevor replied, "and then I called my mother – and that was—weird." He laughed. He backed her up against the kitchen counter. He tried to kiss her again but Olivia ducked out of it.
"What did she say?" as far as she knew, Trevor's mother knew a little about Liv and Noah and every time he had attempted to organize for them all to meet, she canceled at the last minute and he had tired of attempting to make it happen.
"She got all weird," he replied with a slight smile – more from the irony of the situation than the fact that he thought it was funny. "She said she was upset that she hadn't even met you and Noah yet, but fuck it, I gave her so many opportunities – she's not going to guilt me."
"I'm sorry," Liv replied, "I don't know your mother, but it sounds a little manipulative, it's not your fault, I know you've tried, don't worry." She didn't want to ever speak ill of his mother but from all of the things that Erika had confided in her and the bits and pieces she'd learned from Trevor, she didn't think that she would get much from that relationship and if anything it'd only make her more protective of Trevor.
"Its alright, I have you and Erika and the kids…" he smiled, "my mother has her own weird hang ups, but I told her there were no more excuses, we would visit her unannounced," Olivia chuckled and allowed him to kiss her. "How was your sleep?" he wondered, letting his fingers travel over her hips around to the small of her back, drawing her closer.
"I could have slept longer, honestly…" she replied, "but what beautiful flowers, that was so thoughtful."
He smiled and agreed. "What a big day, we may have a place that needs little to no renovations and we got engaged and… we got flowers!" he started to laugh.
"What a day," she repeated, reaching up to circle his neck. He grabbed her ass and hoisted her on to the kitchen counter so that her height finally matched his.
"I love you so much," she murmured, her lips almost touching his. "It ought to be a crime just how much…"
He felt her calves linking around his backside, drawing him closer in to the space between her legs. "I love you times a million," he replied. He loved her affection, her warmth, the intimacy that she never withheld from him. He held her close, smoothing her hair as she rested her hand against his chest.
"Trev?"
"Yeah?"
She breathed in deeply, "I feel like I don't deserve all this… it feels weird and surreal that you love me enough to want to marry me and there's little voice in the back of my brain that's telling me you just don't know me well enough yet, that there's still time for you to walk out…"
He listened with frustration for her, "Oh, babe…" he sighed. He drew away from her. "I know why you feel like that, I know your heart is scarred, I get it, but I need you to believe me when I say that you do deserve this much love and I need you to believe me when I promise that I won't just stop loving you… every day gets better with you – even our fight, it was a big one but it was necessary and I learned about you and you learned about me and we fell more in love with each other for it…"
"I'm just being silly and insecure," she murmured, avoiding his eyes.
"You're allowed to be insecure, honey," he assured her, "we're only human, we've both been badly hurt – but we trust each other and you're having my child – I am really excited to build all this with you, Liv, please just trust what we have."
"I do," she said slowly, "I guess… I don't know," she paused, "I don't want to sound like a broken record but…" she pulled her hand back to examine the ring on her wedding finger and smiled. "It just feels unreal… I never thought this would be my life, a baby… a ring on my finger."
She felt Trevor's lips press against her temple and then her cheek. His kisses were slightly wet and lingering and brought her such comfort and warmth.
"Imagine how excited you're going to be when you have a real engagement ring," he chuckled. "I already know exactly what its going to look like…" he told her, "in fact, I'd kind of love for us to not tell anyone until I've got you the right ring."
"Trevor, I love this ring and I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of bursting at the seams to tell everyone I know."
He laughed. "Well, I'm working on the ring as we speak, so I promise a couple of days max."
She smiled at him and let him kiss her again.
"Okay, I have a thought –" he changed the subject, "I'm going to order dinner and I am going to get started making that apple crumble that I promised you earlier…" he nodded to the wine in the bouquet, "that is non-alcoholic," he grinned, glancing over her shoulder. Olivia looked behind her to see that he was right. "And I thought I would spoil you – I will make you a nice warm bath and a glass of this, terrible, I'm sure, wine… and you could have a soak in silence or with some music… and when I'm done here I can come and chill with you if you want that."
"Stop it," she told him, "you are so disgustingly hot to me right now."
They both laughed. "Come on… let's come upstairs, sexy pants, I'll get your bath and you can lay around like the queen that you are."
He scooped her up causing her to laugh at him, "Come on, Trev, I can walk…"
"I know but… a queen doesn't deserve to get her feet dirty…" he laughed in spite of himself and kissed her as she wrapped her arms around him and he took her upstairs. She laughed as he dumped her a little roughly but playfully on to the bed.
"Wow, you just throw the queen around like trash!" she complained.
He laughed too, "Shh can't talk, busy drawing the royal bath," he replied, disappearing in to the bathroom. Liv glanced at her phone on the charger where she had left it.
She picked it up and opened up to Erika. "HELLO MY LITTLE BABY SISTER…. That's right, we're going to be sisters officially and that little boy of mine will officially be your nephew! Thank you and Carisi so much for our beautiful flowers, we are so grateful! I am so excited to get married to your brother. Give the kids and Sonny a big hug from me! Love you guys xxx"
Trevor emerged and held up a small bottle. "Is this the stuff I got you when I bought you all that pregnancy stuff?" he asked.
"Yeah," she nodded, "that's the bubble bath."
"Great," he smiled and disappeared again. Olivia smiled to herself. She was grateful to have such a thoughtful and kind man taking care of her after all the years of having to take care of herself. It was nice to relax and relent sometimes. She made a mental note to plan something nice for him too.
A few moments later Trevor reappeared. "Okay baby, your bath is ready whenever you are. I'll let you adjust the water," he smiled and came to plant a kiss on her lips. "I'll go get you a drink and a little snack and I'll be right back."
"Thanks…" she said reach up to grab his wrist, "for being so special and for taking care of me always."
His smile grew. "It makes me happy when I see you happy…"
Her eyes searched his for a moment and she knew he was sincere, there was nothing but kindness in them. "Love you…" she told him despite it having been the millionth time she'd told him that day.
He helped her up and to her feet and after once last kiss, he went back downstairs and left her to it.
/
Trevor returned to her around ten minutes later with a little bowl of fruit and dried crackers and a glass of the non-alcoholic wine.
"Holy shit, you are so wonderful…" she sighed with contentment. "I am sure I've told you forty thousand times today but I love you."
"You're welcome baby," he replied, "and I love you too. I ordered dinner to arrive at 7 so that's about an hour," he informed her. "Would you like the phone or the iPad or anything?"
"Maybe my phone… I just texted with Erika before I got in…"
"Okay but remember this is relax time," he reminded her, "alone time for Liv…"
"I don't even know what that is, to be honest and … I don't mind… its nice to just soak in a bath especially with as many aches and pains as I'm experiencing now that the baby is getting bigger."
He sat down on the edge of the tub and smiled fondly. "I am so glad to be doing this with you… Is it the craziest thing to say that I can't wait to do all this with you – you know with Eloise, it took a week before I was allowed to hold her apart from immediately after her birth but she was whisked away by Mira…"
Olivia touched his hand that rested on the edge. She linked her wet fingers within his. "Baby, you keep telling me all of these instances, and I just want to be clear – I am going to be hurling this baby at you like a basketball the second you get home from work just so I can get some sleep. I am going to want you to help me feed it, I am going to want you to get up in the middle of the night with me when you can… This is about us not me… we went in on this baby 50-50."
He smiled faintly at her. "I remember when we first started getting serious and I gave you time to yourself while I hung out with Noah and you asked me if I was like this with Helena too – I told you some stupid ass story about taking Eloise the second I walked in the door cos being a Mom was tough…"
Olivia smiled back, "I do actually remember that…"
"I'm sorry I lied about that to you… but it's what I wanted my role to be and was always ready for it to be, but … you know the rest; I could barely get near my daughter. I just want so much for us to all bond with this baby in an equal way."
She squeezed his hand. "I want that too."
Forgetting that he was supposed to be giving her time alone, he had more questions, "Do you have any names in mind for the baby? Names that you've kind of thought about for a long time – like, if I were to have a child…what would I call it?"
Olivia laughed, "I have some names… do you?"
He nodded, "What do you have?" he asked.
"Ummm… I hate "unique" names, I like nice, simple, old-fashioned names… is that weird?"
"No!" he exclaimed, "Gosh, I'm so glad you said that…I couldn't own a kid who is named after a bird or one of the oceans…" he chuckled.
Olivia laughed too. "I like Penelope for a girl – Ivy… for a boy, I love Samuel, Julien, we could be total assholes and name our kid Langston Langan."
Trevor laughed, "Why would you even think of that!" he asked her, "Olivia, you're crazy."
She sipped her wine and plopped a piece of strawberry in to her mouth and smiled at him. "What about your names?"
"Your names are great by the way, I love Penelope, could we call her Penny?"
Olivia nodded, "Yeah, isn't that cute?"
He nodded, "I like it, I like Julian a lot, Theodore is nice too – I always thought if I had a son, I would love to call him Theodore."
"Cool, so if we have a girl we'll go with Penny and you can just start calling Noah Theodore, I'm kinda sick of Noah anyway," she joked.
"Oh you're so funny tonight, Captain," he chuckled.
"Theodore, huh… how do you shorten that? Theo? We can't call an infant, Ted."
"No, we'd call him Teddy, cos he'll be our youngest. Is that not the fucking cutest?"
"Oh my gosh!" Liv exclaimed, "how did I not think of that? Shit, I'm almost sold on calling our baby Teddy," she stopped and looked at him, "what if it's a girl? Oh fuck it, who cares, we'll bring her up as a boy … she won't know any different…"
Trevor started to laugh and picked up her glass. He sniffed it, "Just checking," he teased, "you're crazy right now."
She laughed.
"I better go check on the dessert," he said regretfully, "I'll get your phone."
/
Olivia opened up a message from Erika, loving that she had someone to talk to just on the fly that knew her in a totally different capacity to how others knew her at work – it allowed her to be softer and more vulnerable.
"OH HEEEEEEY BEST BIG SISTER THAT'S EVER BEEN! Hahaha I could explode with excitement for you guys. Sonny just told me we are going to take the kids to climb and play because they need to get rid of some energy but actually I think he is quietly hinting that I need to. Noah is so excited to literally climb the walls and if I don't shut up, I think Sonny is going to start climbing them too…. But seriously I am so happy, Liv! When do you guys think you'll get married? How were the houses today? I'm gonna be honest, I'm most excited about you guys living closer to me – I could just walk over!"
Olivia smiled to herself and relaxed back in to the warm water, letting her skin soak for a moment. She picked up the phone again after gulping down some wine and eating some of the fruit. "Haha! You are so sweet. The houses were nice, we actually looked at an apartment about 3 blocks from you that we really like. You know when something feels right, it feels right… Trev and I will discuss it later, I guess….How are my kids going? I hope they're behaving."
Olivia sat forward to let out some of the water to refill with the hot. She got another text, this time it was from Trevor. "Are you good? Do you need anything?"
She grinned to herself. "No baby, I don't need anything. I'm totally good."
She continued to text back and forth with Erika for a little while until it was nearly time for dinner.
/
"I don't mind this eating on the couch business with you," Trevor informed Olivia, turning to her with a smile. "I'm sorry I was such a judgmental shit about it."
She shrugged. "I mean, it can be cozy but sitting at a table has its merit too, I guess… but this is nice tonight, just us…" she had her legs tucked beneath her and they were so close that their bodies were touching. She was eating a peanut satay from the bowl with some fragrant coconut rice that made her feel warm and fuzzy with every mouthful.
"I was thinking about that apartment…" his voice trailed off. "how do you feel about it?"
"Well… it's essentially your money…"
"No," he said firmly, "no Liv, we are not doing that. I already told you, this is a home for us. If it were a home for me we may as well just stay here. This is your home too and together we will be buying furniture and organizing any changes and putting everything together to make it a new, permanent non-James Bond style place…"
Olivia managed a laugh. "Okay… well, let's just sell my apartment and I have savings – so I want to contribute at the very least, my savings."
"What were you saving for?" Trevor asked.
"Noah… but now we have three, those savings are going to have to look very different."
"I told you, I've got the kids sorted with some of the money from the town house, so don't worry about that. I am just waiting for it to all drop—if you want to put your savings in, that's fine but I was thinking maybe we could keep your apartment and have it as a small investment property…"
"Yeah?" she asked, "Is it even worth it?"
"This is New York, of course it's worth it. Do you have anything owing on the mortgage?" he wondered.
"Not a lot after what happened with him, remember I got that payout from the Police Benevolence Fund to help with all that time I took from work and then the subsequent trauma of the second time I was taken by him."
"Oh, I didn't know that… so you used the money for your apartment?"
She nodded. "Because of the way my last apartment was…" she sighed, "the state it was left in and what happened there – I couldn't go back. That time is a bit of a blur, but I know there was some fund or some NYPD Crisis team that helped with the immediate help of moving out—Nick was a great help too…"
"So, is there more or less at least a hundred thousand left on it or…?"
"Oh," she laughed, "no… there's probably about $30k, it's just that I wanted to put the rest of the money aside for Noah."
"OK well, let's pay out the remaining, whatever savings you have, if you want to contribute then you can and depending on how you feel, we could put an offer in on the apartment."
Olivia thought about it and nodded slowly. "Can we put in a bath like the one we have here?" she wondered, "like a nice, big Trevor-sized tub with jets?"
He smiled. "Yes… how else are we going to wind down after mind-blowing sex?" he asked with with a little laugh.
"Exactly…" he remarked. "But the question is, can you see yourself living there?" he wondered, "are you going to be happy to redecorate and style and all of that stuff?"
She nodded, "I think so…" she paused, "but are we making an irrational decision? I mean, there's nothing wrong with this place."
He turned the TV down and turned his body toward her. "There's nothing wrong with it, no, but… this house isn't entirely child friendly, the stairs need to be re-railed, I would like to keep my office – the kids playroom is going to be imperative, that leaves one room which I kinda had a plan for, but it will have to be the baby room – so…"
"What was your plan for it?" Olivia asked.
He gave a little smile, "I kinda want it to be a surprise… I think the apartment would be nice. It has the two living spaces and that massive open kitchen that opens out to the family room, the six bedrooms and the which is big enough for both of our stuff and our book collections," he smiled, "the bathroom is really the only thing that needs looking at."
"And it has a bedroom balcony with a Central Park view…" she smiled at him; she had really loved the balcony.
"And the gym and the indoor jungle gym for the kids, the pool…" he continued, "and the terrace, the kids can go outside when its warm for some fresh air."
Olivia sighed, "yeah seems like the right place for us, doesn't it?" she agreed.
He smiled, "Yeah but if you're not sure, we can sit on it a bit longer – I want you to be sure."
"It's just so much money," she murmured.
Trevor put his bowl down and picked up his phone. He swiped through to his banking app. He opened it up and passed it to Olivia. "I don't want to be gross," he told her, "but I want you to look at this and I want you to know that we are okay for money."
Olivia's eyes nearly popped and she almost choked on her food. She knew he was from money and she considered it may have been significant when he'd mentioned his ex had burned through almost 20k in one single shopping trip, but to look the numbers in his account was shocking to her. She had never seen such a huge amount of money.
"These are the accounts here," he pointed to three separate accounts with a significant amount in each, "that I have started for the kids," he pointed to another couple, "these are investments; they're just accumulating compound interest each month…" he pointed to two last accounts, "and these last two… one is for all outgoing bills and the second one has money going in from other investments on a weekly basis so I use all that money for spending, the American Express gets paid from this account…." He paused to look at her and tried to ignore the bewilderment that had crossed her face.
She glanced back down at his phone. "Shit…" she muttered.
"I hope it's not weird that I showed you this… I just really want you to know that we are okay. But… moneywise, I do understand the feeling of wanting to contribute so that you don't feel like I am steering all of this, so you just tell me what you want to do."
She just shook her head as though she was trying to shake away her surprise. "Sorry, that's… just something I can barely fathom. I mean, why do you even go to work…" she managed a laugh, "sorry that's insensitive… but I guess as someone who lived in borderline squalor as a child…"
"We didn't always have money," he reminded her, "my father got lucky… and then put all of his violent energy in to being a crazy financial mogul."
"I know," she said a little more gently, feeling a bit rude for the remark. "So… can we just do a joint account where both of our wages go in to and we use for bills?"
"How about…" he began, thinking about it, "we put a portion of our wages in to an account for bills and you keep an account for you because you should have your own money too if only for something… I don't want you to ever have to feel weird about me knowing what you're spending money on."
"I don't have any secrets," she replied, but she got his point.
"I mean," he began, "you know I'm not this kind of guy, but in your line of work, you have seen first hand what happens when a man has his hand on all of the money…"
She gave him a smile, happy that he had considered circumstance over his own ego. "Do you want me to sign a prenuptial?" she asked him boldly.
Trevor grinned at her and leaned over and kissed her temple. "No, honey, it's not necessary. I don't plan on divorcing or remarrying. You're it and I also know you're a good person and if anything went wrong with us we are mature enough to always do the right thing by the kids."
"I'm just saying, from a financial perspective, you're incredibly trusting."
He laughed. "I also need you to sign a form that I got sent out, it's so I can add you as a signatory for the Amex so I can get you a card."
"Oh," she shook her head, "no, Trev, its okay…"
He cocked his head, "C'mon… let me? I want to take care of you and I know you're not going to go crazy like Helena did, I want you to be able to buy whatever you want, whenever you want."
She gave him a long stare. "Why are you so kind?" she chuckled.
"Because I love you and want you to have the world…" he replied with a little smile, kissing her lips.
She smiled back at him. "Let's get the fucking apartment…" she blurted out in to the air with a laugh.
"Yeah, that's my girl," he replied, "let's get a home for our family!"