HELLO! I have a new update for you guys. I'm back on isolation due to an outbreak in my community so here i am ... no work, just writing... Just curious. Is anyone losing interest in this story/saga? Is it time to wind it up?
Thank you for all of your amazing and lovely and kind comments. They make me feel so grateful for everyone reading this. :) Please don't forget if you're going to drop a comment to put your name instead of guest. I appreciate that!
I am working on my other story too, not as often as this one - but I'm excited about it - s/13937584/1/Everything-After-That (its also on ao3) if you are interested.
Let me know what you think of this one! 3
"Can you believe how nice my Mom has been?" Erika asked Olivia as they got in to bed.
Olivia laughed lightly, "Have you seen her since dinner?" she asked Trevor's little sister.
"Yeah, Sonny's mother wanted us to take some Italian cakes over to her so we did the right thing... she was so nice, she loves Sonny but now he thinks I'm exaggerating how mean she was to me."
"Maybe something changed," Olivia suggested. "Maybe she realized she was being cruel?"
"Maybe…" Erika replied with a sigh. "Anyway, how's your back feeling now?" she asked her sister-in-law.
"I have felt better… and my stomach has been cramping up all afternoon. Noah said he had a sore tummy after that lasagna we had for lunch too," she murmured.
"I hope you feel better tomorrow," Erika replied. "But just wake me up if you need anything."
"Thanks Ez, thank you for coming over. I hate that Trevor is away, but I love having you come and stay for a sleep over," she smiled at Erika, touching her hand. "And also, the kids love it."
Erika saw Olivia wince in pain and worried a little. "Do you want me to do something?" she asked her, "I can give you a back massage or get you a heat compress or something?" she suggested.
"No, its okay, it'll pass…" Olivia replied. She turned the TV on and they chose a show to watch and both laid back. Erika decided to let Olivia rest and not exhaust her with constant chatter.
She scrolled through her banter with Sonny which had stopped just after dinner since he had been called to a job. She decided to do something out of character. She opened up her phone and texted her Mom.
"Hi Mom, it was really nice to see you yesterday. Hope that you enjoyed the cakes. I am staying at Trevor and Olivia's tonight. Olivia and I ordered dinner. She's very tired and I'm sure it's hard for both she and Trevor being apart. Hope you're having a good night. See you soon x."
For whatever reason, she felt nervous pressing send, but knew in order for their relationship to repair, she had to put in effort too.
She glanced over to find Olivia already asleep. She took the TV remote and turned it off, not wanting her to wake up. It wasn't quite 10pm, but she knew she was struggling in general and needed to get rest.
She texted Trevor, "I know you spoke to Liv not long ago, just letting you know, she's out like a light. She's in a bit of pain – her back has been spasming a little all night and she and Noah felt a bit off since lunch, Noah said his tummy was sore and Liv had some cramps… could be a dairy thing…. In my medical opinion, ha-ha. Do you think you'll be back early? I can stay tomorrow too, no problems."
Lastly she messaged Sonny, "I'm going to sleep now babe, I love you so much! Come over in the morning for coffee so I can see your adorable face xxx"
/
Olivia woke up just after 3 in the morning, looking around her, feeling a little disoriented. It took her a second to realize it was Erika sleeping beside her. A sudden sweep of pain took her by surprise that she groaned out loud, it was intense and lasted for more than a few seconds, taking her breath away.
It was sobering and woke her up. She realized there was a dampness between her legs. She reached down, fearing the worst, praying she wouldn't find blood. Thankfully, nothing of color but the mattress was damp too.
She wondered if it was possibly the most embarrassing thing to have ever occurred while sharing a bed, how could sh not manage to make the bathroom? Confusion set in and her panic woke Erika up.
"Liv are you alright?" she asked sleepily.
"No…" she murmured, "I mean yes… I don't know…" she sputtered.
Erika sat up and turned the lamp on. "What happened?" she asked.
Olivia managed a laugh as her face turned a little red, "I think I peed the bed?"
Erika laughed too, "Excellent, don't stress Liv, you're pregnant, my friend peed herself all the time when she was pregnant."
"Yes but … her bed?" she asked, pulling the covers back. Her back was aching in a way she'd never felt before.
Suddenly Erika stopped as she watched Olivia wince, holding her belly in a way that hit her hard. "Olivia, I don't think you peed yourself," she said, "I think your water broke…"
"What? No? I'm not even 37 weeks…" she said but then remembered the pain that she felt as she woke up. She glanced at her sister-in-law alarmed and frightened. "But Trevor's not here…"
"Its alright, it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to give birth right this second, just be calm, its fine…"
"How can you be sure it's not just pee?" Olivia asked.
"I know this is gross, but if it doesn't smell like pee, if it has no scent, its amniotic fluid… you could do the smell test, I love you but I don't plan on potentially smelling your urine," Erika told her as they both laughed.
"We aren't ready for the baby," Olivia said, suddenly, "we need to do the house, the baby's room—"
"Okay just … calm," Erika said firmly, reminding her a lot of Trevor. She commanded Olivia's attention and focus and most importantly, stillness.
"Just go and get changed, I'll fix the bed up and if you've peed, whatever, if it's water breaking, I'll call Trevor and we'll come up with a plan," she told Olivia calmly, "and whatever happens, it'll be fine. I'm here with you, okay?"
Olivia nodded, her eyes filling with tears. She quickly blinked them back. She turned away before Erika could say anything. She grabbed a change of underwear and pajama pants and allowed Erika to fix her bedding.
Once Olivia disappeared in to the bathroom, Erika picked up her phone and found a notification from Sonny, "Sorry I couldn't text, had a big night, I am about to head home, love you, see you bright and early—can't wait to see your beautiful smile."
It was sent only 45 minutes earlier, there was hope that he was still awake. "Hey babe, just woke up with Liv, I think her water just broke, she may be in labor very soon. I might need to take her to the hospital if it happens, could you keep your phone on? I'm sorry, I might need you to come and sit with the kids."
He responded quickly and she was relieved. "Of course, I'll stay up until you figure out what's happening. Need me to contact Trev?"
"No, not yet. Give me five. X"
Olivia emerged from the bathroom in a fresh set of clothes. "Good news is, I didn't have to smell my own urine, but bad news is my water broke and Trevor isn't here…" she wiped her eyes tearfully. "Also, there's still water coming out," she told Erika, "I had to put a pad on."
"Its okay," Erika assured her, "I am sure we can get a hold of Trevor and get him home before anything happens." She smiled and edged around the half-made bed to give Liv a hug. "I promise, it'll be fine…"
"Thanks," Olivia sniffed. "I actually think I may have had a contraction when I woke up… but I don't know, it took my breath away and it lasted for longer than a cramp."
"Shoot," Erika murmured, "you had 'cramps' last night before you went to bed," she made air quotes, "you've probably been in labor…." She guessed. "Okay let me try to call Trev. Just sit down, lay back, relax, I'll get Sonny to come over and stay here in case we have to go to the hospital."
"Thanks Ez…" she wiped her own tears and did what Trevor's younger sister asked, thankful for someone who was like her partner, who knew how to deal with high stress situations in a calm way. If it was a work situation, she would have been fine, but this was different, she was emotional and scared.
Erika tried Trevor twice but knew he was probably asleep. She texted him, "Hey bro, call me back as soon as you get this, no matter the time. Liv and I are awake and I need you to call. She is OK but I think your baby is well and truly on the way so you need to come back. She's upset and scared because you aren't here. Sonny is on his way to look after the kids"
/
At five in the morning Trevor woke up to use the bathroom. After he was done he got back in to bed and rolled over to pick up his phone, grabbing for his glasses. He wasn't staying another day in Pennsylvania. He was done. He'd finished all the paperwork and made a recommendation for the ADA he was working beside and told Kara he was making the trip back on the earliest train.
He saw there were a few missed calls. He sat up, they were all from Erika. He checked the text messages and nearly jumped out of his skin when he read it. He called her back, jumping out of bed and began stuffing his things in his suitcase.
"Erika!" he exclaimed, "how is she? Are you sure she's definitely in labor?" he asked, panicked.
"Yeah, I'm sure. She's had a few contractions but just … be calm Trev, she's doing fine, Sonny is here,"
"When did all this happen?" he wanted to know, cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder, as he found jeans and a t-shirt to wear.
Erika explained to him what had occurred.
"Okay, I was going to be getting on the first train, but I'm gonna get my things and hire a car and drive." He glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table. "I should be home around 9am or just after, I'll probably hit traffic…" he explained.
"Its okay, we're all good and calm. Do you want to speak to Olivia?" she asked.
"Of course," he replied.
"Hi baby," her voice was soft and emotional. He felt terrible for thinking it was okay to agree to go on a work trip. He should have known this could happen.
"My Olivia…" his voice trailed off, matching her tone. "I am so so sorry that I'm not there. I'm going to get a car and I'm going to drive right back, okay?"
"Okay," she agreed and he knew she was crying. "I love you so much."
"I love you so much," he replied, "hold on for as long as you can okay? I need to be there to hold your hand…"
"Erika called the hospital and they said to wait here at home until they're around four minutes apart or until I can't manage the pain."
"Okay and how far right now?" he wondered, hoping it wasn't even close.
"Almost twenty minutes or something…" she replied.
"Okay baby, I'm running for a car now, I love you. I'll call you soon."
/
The pain was too much and it felt too serious; she didn't consider herself to have a particularly low threshold for it. She breathed as best as she could through it and Sonny tried his best, based on his experience with his sisters, to help her through it.
He looked at Erika and shook his head, concerned. "I think you guys need to go to the hospital," he said. She was nursing Eloise who was upset and distressed watching her Mom crying and trying not to make too much noise through her pain.
Olivia felt like something wasn't entirely right.
"Okay," Erika agreed. "Liv, I'm gonna call an Uber to take us to Mercy, okay?"
She nodded, leaning over the countertop. Erika passed Eloise to Carisi.
"Its okay," Liv told Elly, "Mommy's fine, promise." She tried to give her a smile, but it was more of grimace. "You're gonna stay with Uncle Sonny and Mommy and Erika are going to see the doctor, okay?"
"I want Daddy," she whimpered.
"Daddy will be home very soon," I promise, Liv told her, finally feeling her body relax as the contraction passed.
Erika returned with an emergency backpack that she had packed earlier in the morning. It was almost 7.
"Okay," she was almost breathless with nervousness for Trevor's wife-to-be. She dropped some slides down by Olivia's feet. "Put your shoes on, we're going now."
"Be good for Uncle Sonny," Olivia told Eloise who began to cry.
Olivia tried to comfort her, but the little girl was inconsolable. "Its okay," Sonny told Liv, "I can handle it, promise. You guys go."
Erika held Olivia's hand and helped her down the front stoop where they waited just a few minutes for the uber. Erika got in beside Olivia and once driving she turned to the driver. "My sister is in labor and in a lot of pain, so do you think you could try your best to get us to the hospital really quickly?" she asked.
"I'm not about to pop it out, so don't panic," Olivia added, leaning back against the back seat interior, trying to put pressure on to her back.
The driver agreed and drove with a little urgency.
/
Olivia tried being passive in her pain but it was too much. She stood up straight, pressing her back against a wall as the burning pain passed over her for just under a minute. Other people in the waiting room stared at her, their mouths agape as she let out a yelp.
Erika was helpless and almost in tears, wanting desperately for someone to see her.
The commotion helped and soon a nurse came out with a wheel chair and took her and Erika to have a sonogram after triage to ensure everything was okay.
"I hope Trevor gets home soon," she weeped as she got on to the bed, preparing herself for the sonogram, praying interiorly that everything was okay. She hoped she was really downplaying how painful giving birth actually was.
"Olivia, have you had any bleeding?" the tech asked her.
She shook her head. "No, nothing."
"Okay, that's a good sign."
"Maybe you're just a total baby and you don't tolerate pain well?" Erika supplied, trying to keep up good spirits. Olivia grabbed for her hand and clutched it tightly.
The tech squirted the gel over her belly and began to roll the wand over her flesh, pressing in to certain points. Olivia felt relief flood over her as she heard the very strong wooshing sound of the baby's heart beat.
The tech smiled, "Olivia, your baby's heartbeat is very strong, he's doing just fine but, has anyone spoken to you about a breech position?"
"What?" she asked, alarmed. "No, is that when the baby is upside down?"
She nodded. "You didn't know? No one told you?"
She shook her head. "No, is he going to be alright?"
"In most cases your baby will be fine with your natural birth plan, but this would explain the more intense pain, he's impacting on a different spot. I'm going to send the report immediately and I suspend they'll want to find you a bed and consult with you about your birth plan."
Olivia nodded. She was relieved to know she wasn't imagining things.
"See, Liv, it's okay…" Erika smiled. Olivia wiped her eyes and slowly got back up. They paused and allowed Olivia some time for another contraction to pass. To know that Teddy was okay allowed her to deal with the pain a little better. She let Erika wheel her out of the room where the nurse who brought her was just on her way back.
"Good news sweetheart," she told Olivia, "your room is ready, so we'll take you right up and we'll contact the midwife and someone will come and have a chat to you pretty soon."
Olivia didn't care, she just wanted to rest. It was just after 8am and the contractions were around 14 minutes apart, according to Erika. She hoped it'd stay that way until Trevor arrived.
"Ez could you please see how far Trev is?" she asked.
"Of course," she told her as they arrived at the room. Olivia managed to thank the nurse and waited, leaning over the bed, holding on to the rails trying to just breathe.
All she wanted was Trevor by her side, she loved Erika, but no one could comfort her quite like her fiancé. She knew he'd say and do all of the right things. She had caught him researching more than once about how to be a good birthing support.
/
Not one to usually succumb to road rage, Trevor found himself dodging in and out of traffic to get to Mercy where Olivia was. Just on 9am like he'd expected, he pulled up and walk-ran all the way inside where he nervously navigated his way to her.
He could hear someone from behind the door moaning in pain and let himself in as soon as he realized it was her. "Liv!" he exclaimed
She looked up and saw him and broke down in tears. He felt his eyes film over too, hating to see her look so awful. "Baby, its okay, I'm here…" he made a beeline toward her and gave her a warm hug. "I would never have missed this." He kissed her lips.
He held her and let her put all of her weight on him as she cried from exhaustion. He glanced at Erika and gave her a smile as he rubbed Olivia's back. "Have you guys seen the doctor?" he asked her.
"Yeah, they're hopefully that the baby will be fine to deliver naturally, he's fairly confident Teddy will come out without any problems, but he is pissed that no one picked it up earlier," she explained. "Liv, is in a lot of pain, so they're just trying to come up with a solution right now."
"Thanks…" he smiled. "Why don't you go get a coffee or head back for awhile and sleep?" he suggested, "I'll call you when things start to happen…"
Erika knew Sonny needed help with the kids, they were upset and misbehaving. "Okay, make sure you do call me," she told him.
Trevor released Olivia, feeling her pushing away.
Erika said goodbye to Olivia and made off with her purse, promising to bring her bag later.
/
"Olivia," Trevor suggested, "why don't you get in to bed and you can rest between your contractions."
"I can't," she whispered, "it's too uncomfortable." He knew her back wasn't going to do her any favors while she hunched over the bed. He did his best to rub her back, pushing his fingers in to the lower area that he could feel tense up each time she had a contraction.
The doctor came in introduced himself to Trevor and asked Olivia to get in to bed for an examination despite her discomfort. She didn't argue. She closed her eyes, feeling tired.
Trevor held her hand and stroked her hair. "You're doing so wonderfully, love," he told her. She turned to him and smiled wearily. He wiped away some tears from her eyes and kissed her while the doctor checked her out.
"Olivia, you're around 6cm dilated, you'll probably feel the contractions getting more intense and more frequent. Someone will come and offer you some pain meds soon, but I just wanted to talk to you about delivery," he said. "From the looks, your baby's legs are almost crossed which is fine, everything looks good but we're just a little worried about him getting stuck and the length of the umbilical cord, we want to avoid anything getting wrapped around his face, or you being in a position that sees him unable to get him out."
"Okay?"
"What's the alternative?" Trevor asked.
"I think we'll just keep a close eye on things. I am going to get a heartbeat monitor for the baby and also one for Olivia to keep track of both her and the baby's sats, that way if anything drops we can move fast. The last thing we want is the baby in distress."
He nodded, "Okay."
The doctor patted Olivia's calf, "don't worry, we're ready for anything," he assured her.
"Has Liv had anything for the pain?" Trevor wondered, "I mean, just orally?"
He shook his head, "No, that was the next question… would you like to speak with the pain management specialist?"
"Yes…" Olivia nodded before he had even finished asking the question. He smiled.
"Okay…"
/
"This is now how it was supposed to go," Olivia cried once they were alone. "I thought we were going to be smooth sailing."
"It's okay to be upset, angel," Trevor murmured. "You've been through so many rough things before, Liv, but we will see this one through together. I bet it just feels like yet something else, but you don't have to put on a brave face for me."
It was all she needed to hear him say. She began to cry, almost sobbing with stress and the idea that something might go wrong. Trevor held her tight and felt her body shuddering against his as she let her tears go. She was crying in a quiet way, the way she did when she didn't want to draw any attention to herself. If it weren't for her shaking in his arms, he probably would have been barely able to tell.
"I love you very much. We are in this together and we're going to be fine. Teddy is going to be fine. Before you know it, we'll be taking our baby home and we'll be reflecting on this situation."
Trevor stroked her hair and closed his eyes, resting his chin on top of her head, trying his hardest not to get emotional, hating to see her cry.
"I love you for saying all of this," she managed to expel in a voice full of tears that he could barely understand, "but it doesn't make me feel better, what if something happens…"
"I know," he replied softly, "but we don't know, you taught me that, Olivia, that we can't control everything and we don't always know what the outcome will be… but I just think you need to have a good cry, it's been stressful," his voice trailed off off.
He kissed her temple, "I love you… we will deal with whatever happens. Just focus on the end result, of us holding him in our arms and we'll be so grateful for that."
Olivia had calmed down and nodded, thankful for his calming words. She wiped her tears and her nose. She was mentally trying to prepare for another contraction that she could tell was about to happen.
"Why don't I get you a wash cloth for your face?" he suggested.
She nodded. Trevor gave him a weak smile. He went to the bathroom to grab one. He came back and handed it to Olivia who took it and thanked him. She wiped her face and pressed it against her for a few moments.
"Liv, I know your mind frame has been shaken a little right now, but I want you to try to focus on getting through the contractions, okay?" he coached her.
"I know…"
The midwife arrived a few minutes after Liv's next contraction passed.
"Looks like you're definitely on your way to getting this baby out of you," she smiled at the couch. She was friendly but there was also a hint of seriousness to her tone.
She fitted Olivia with an oxygen prong on her pointer finger and put a few patches on her stomach to monitor the baby's fetal heart rate. They waited for a few moments to get a reading. The midwife, who introduced herself as Gabi, nodded approvingly at both the baby's heart rate and Olivia's SATS.
"Okay now, Liv, if you can't deal with the pain, I want you to let me know – but we can't leave it too late though," she explained, "so when your contractions are around 5 minutes apart, you need to let me know if you've decided one way or another or at least start thinking about it."
"What was the gas that the doctor mentioned before?" Trevor asked, he didn't want Olivia to try to be a hero, if she needed something for the pain, he wanted her to take it.
"Oh, that'll be available as soon as we get Olivia to delivery," Gabi replied. She turned to Olivia, "but if you like we can give you a small dose of something now if you're struggling."
Olivia shook her head. "Not just yet, it's painful but… manageable, I think," she replied.
"Sure," Gabi responded, she glanced from Trev to Liv and smiled. "In the process honey, if you feel like you can or you want to, maybe take a walk with Trevor around the ward and try to relax. Standing up against a wall may help," she set her attention to Trevor, "maybe a massage might help," she smiled.
"Absolutely, whatever I can do," he replied.
Olivia managed a chuckle and he was so glad to hear that once she had released her fears and upset, her good-humor came back to her. "Time to take advantage of you."
Trevor laughed and gave her a kiss, "anytime, love."
/
Olivia held on to the hand rail on the wall, her fingers gripping it until her knuckles turned white. Trevor stood behind her, a gentle hand on her back. They were standing in the corridor of the maternity ward. She tried her best to breathe in and out as Trevor directed her but it was in short gasps. She was in the kind of pain she had never endured before. "It feels like someone is stretching my skin and pushing it back together and slashing a knife against it just hard enough to leave flesh wounds," she told him shakily, her whole body tense.
He tried not to laugh, "that is … oddly specific," he smiled at her.
She sighed in pain, "No, it doesn't actually feel like that at all, I can't even explain how it feels,"
"You're doing so good, sweetheart," Trevor replied, feeling helpless. He tried his best to say all the right things but some of the time Olivia seemed to find it all a little agitating.
She groaned as the pain swept over her, making her feel a shock of heat; unlike anything she'd ever felt. He rubbed her back gently but what Olivia wanted more than anything was for Trevor to put some pressure on it, gentleness wasn't doing anything.
"Oh my goodness," she whimpered between gasps of pain, "this is too much."
"No…" he told her, focusing his eyes on hers, "you can do this Olivia, I have faith in you, baby, you can do this…"
She closed her eyes and tried to go with it. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled, trying her best to block out the inferno of pain and concentrated on holding her healthy baby in her arms when it was time. "God help me," she murmured softly, letting out another breath.
"Do you want to go back to the room and have a warm shower?" Trevor suggested, realizing that the contraction was beginning to subside.
She nodded. She was so uncomfortable and her back ached and her shoulders hurt from hunching over since the early hours of the morning. It was even more uncomfortable to sit or lay down.
As they arrived back in the room, they were met with Joan and Erika. Trevor was surprised to see them both, but a little grateful. Olivia waved, too consumed by her own pain to give too much of herself.
"How are you feeling, darling?" Joan asked, Olivia, jumping up to her side. She had a headache and was sweating profusely and waved Trevor off when he suggested she get back in to bed.
"Your mouth looks dry and sore," Joan remarked and Olivia realized she was right. "Let me go find you some ice…." she added, trying to be practical.
"I'm so sorry, she insisted," Erika whispered.
"Its okay," Olivia replied despite finding it hard to stay polite. "I'm just tired, I just want to sleep."
Trevor helped her manage the cords from the baby monitor and she agreed to get back in to bed to try to have a little rest.
"Liv, maybe it's time to ask for a mild dose of something for the pain," Trevor suggested.
"Okay, I don't know how much longer I can handle this for…" Olivia replied.
"I'll go speak to a nurse," Trevor volunteered as Joan came back with a jug of water and a cup full of ice.
"Here you go, darling, here's some ice, it sounds silly, but it'll feel good to put in your mouth."
"Thanks…" Olivia was not convinced, but did as her mother-in-law suggested. She put some chips in to her mouth and closed her eyes, wanting to just have a few moments of rest.
The midwife, Gabi, arrived back in with Trevor and smiled assuringly at Liv, "Hi honey, we're just going to administer some pain relief for now, it'll be enough to ease it and we can increase the dosage at the doctor's say-so as your labor progresses, okay?"
Olivia nodded. Another nurse arrived to cross check the dose and it was administered in to an IV in the back of her hand that she could barely remember them putting in when she'd arrived.
Gabi kindly explained that it would probably kick in quickly. Olivia felt herself relaxing very quickly. She smiled at Trevor with satisfaction. He couldn't help but to chuckle at the almost instant change in her behavior.
"Oh yeah, Olivia is high…" Erika chuckled.
"Oh no… my wife-to-be, the drug-addict," Trevor joked with his sister while their mother tutted at them. She handed the cup of ice to Olivia again. "Don't' forget your ice, darling," she told her sweetly.
Sluggishly, Olivia put more ice in her mouth and crunched away.
The pain of the contractions had worn her out physically but the next one that came was indeed, less painful. She could hear Trevor chatting to his family, but she was feeling a little too off-the-planet to take much notice.
"You are all doe-eyed and spacey," Trevor told her, looking in to her eyes so she could concentrate. She was able to rest for at least a short while.
At mid afternoon, the midwife did another exam to see how far along Olivia was because the baby's heart rate was changing. The intensity of the contractions had lessened for Olivia due to the pain relief, but the midwife was concerned that the labor hadn't progressed at all.
She had managed to sleep for small amounts of time between the contractions. "Baby, why don't you go eat something?" she asked Trevor who hadn't left her side.
"Its okay, I'm not hungry…" he replied. It was true, he didn't want to leave her. He smiled, "thanks anyway." He was sure his body was running on pure adrenalin alone.
Olivia turned to Joan, "how long did it take you to give birth to Trevor and Erika?" she wondered, her voice slow and tired.
Joan thought for a moment, "Trevor was .. close to 36hours…"
"36 hours!" Olivia exclaimed, "Nonono, I can't do this for that long!" she paused, "how did you?" the answer to her question became irrelevant as another contraction engulfed her. Trevor could see that the pain relief was starting to wear off.
She squeezed Trevor's hand until his fingers went white. It hurt but he said nothing and endured it. "It hurts too much," she whimpered.
"I got you, I got you…" Trevor murmured, cuddling her close to him, allowing her to clutch on to him as it passed.
Sensing things were starting to progress, Joan and Erika decided to go back to their house to be with the kids. "Call us when you get really close," Erika made Trevor promise
"Of course," he smiled.
"Ez, I don't think Trevor and Olivia want all eyes on her when she's giving birth…" Joan remarked.
"I don't really care at this point," she murmured, "I just want him out of me…"
They both laughed but she wasn't kidding. Joan smoothed her hand over Olivia's hair and kissed her forehead. "Don't worry about a thing, Olivia, God is going to take really good care of you and Trevor and your precious little boy."
Olivia nodded with tears filming her eyes. She was grateful that Trevor's Mom had turned up and remained civil and helpful.
Erika gave her a hug and a kiss and they left.
/
Contractions grew more intense around dinner time and a lot closer together. "Not much longer now…" Trevor remarked.
"Don't fucking talk to me," she snapped at him, truly over it. "I hate this, it's awful."
For a second he felt hurt, but put the feeling aside knowing that it was her pain speaking. "Okay, I'm sorry." Still, she clutched his hand, not wanting him to go anywhere.
Gabi reappeared and convinced her to let Trevor help her out in the shower for awhile to help with the pain. "How would you feel about getting in to the shower?" she asked her, "maybe you can get your husband in there to give you the best back massage of his life," she suggested with a smile.
Trevor was too scared to open his mouth.
Olivia didn't say yes or no but nodded in pain.
"Okay, you both go and do that, and I am going to go speak with the doctor." She helped her take off the baby monitor and her own oxygen prong for a short period of time. "I have a feeling your baby will be ready to make an entrance soon."
"Within the hour?" Olivia asked, her face was tearstained and her eyes were blood shot and she was unaware that she could even sweat that much.
"If it keeps progressing at this rate, I'm going to say there's a high possibility," she smiled.
Trevor helped Olivia in the bathroom. He still was almost too afraid to speak to her. He didn't want to make it worse. He wondered if she felt resentful of her. She held on to his arm and hobbled her way in to the shower recess, clutching her belly.
"Why aren't you talking to me?" she complained, "you are so quiet."
He chuckled as he took the shower spray from the holder and turned the taps on, adjusting the water. "You asked me not to talk to you. I'm trying not to piss you off," he replied honestly.
She rose her head to look at him. He saw her eyes get a little softer that made his heart warm. "I'm so sorry," she apologized, "I don't mean to be such a bitch…"
"You're trying to squeeze a baby out of our vagina, Olivia," he told her bluntly, "I can't even begin to imagine the pain you're going through, sweetheart, I don't think you're being a bitch."
"I love you," she replied.
"I love you too," he repeated over the top of her the running water.
"Can you help?" she asked, tugging at the nightdress that Erika had packed for her, not having the energy to do it herself. Trevor put the shower spray back in its holder and helped her get her night dress off with a little assistance.
"Feels weird having you undress me for a shower and not for sex," she managed to laugh.
Trevor laughed, "its okay…" he replied. Her belly looked huge, her chest was heaving and she had never looked more ready to pop a baby out. He kissed the back of her shoulder blade and helped her to tie up her hair.
He took off his own shirt, not wanting it to get wet.
"Honey, just hop under the spray for a minute or so and wash your face and relax a little," Trevor suggested. She tried to stand up a little straighter and let the water beat down in to her face. She pulled it out of the pony tail he had helped put up for her. She was getting in to a far better breathing pattern to deal with the contractions and Trevor was proud of her, she was taking it like a trooper even with the pain relief worn off.
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked, "do you want that back massage?" he asked.
She nodded, "Please…" she said as she concentrated on her breathing.
Trevor's hands were soft and gentle and like magic. She felt his fingertips gliding along her lower back where the ache had become unbearable. She cried out in pain. "It's so bad…" she gasped, the pain entirely taking her breath away. She felt his hands gripping her waist and kneading his thumbs in to her skin.
"I know, honey…" he soothed her softly, "is this okay?"
"Yeah…." She nodded, "can you do it harder?" Liv asked, the tears falling down her face, "I need the pressure…"
As if he knew exactly what was going to help, he put all of his strength in to her muscles between every node of her lower spine. She was able to straighten up just a little.
"Won't be long, love," he promised, kissing her shoulder, continuing to massage up and down the same areas. "Try to focus on how wonderful it's going to be to meet Teddy," he coaxed her. The thought made Olivia's breathing normalize, pulling her out of the panic that she was slipping in and out of.
/
After Olivia's shower, she got back in to bed, dressing in a hospital gown, not worrying about much else. Gabi was with a doctor looking at her charts. "I'm going to check on the baby now, okay?" the doctor informed them.
Olivia was starting to feel a little dizzy and not quite herself.
The doctor put the heart monitor back on the baby and then listened to Liv's chest. He glanced at Gabi and looked a little troubled.
"Olivia, I don't want you to worry but," he began in a direct way, "I think we need to get you down to surgery and perform a c-section. Your labor hasn't progressed as far as it should have and I'm starting to think it's affecting you and your baby's heart beat. Your blood pressure is sky-high right now, it seems to have jumped and the baby's heart rate is too low."
Olivia glanced at Trevor for help.
Trevor stood up, "now?" he asked. Olivia's eyes filled with tears.
"Yes, now…" he said, he turned to Gabi, "can you get a nurse in to speak to the OR about prepping for delivery?"
"Are you going to give her an epidural or…?" Trevor wondered.
"I think the best way to do this quickly and smoothly is a full anesthetic, you can be present, we will get you a gown," he turned to Olivia, "its going to be alright, I don't want you to panic, I just want to do what's best for the baby and for you and because of the baby's position and his size, the fact that we don't know how long the umbilical cord is, the heart rate – everything points toward an emergency c-section to make sure everyone is safe."
She nodded slowly despite her crying. "Its okay Liv, I'll be with you, I won't leave your side," he told her, kissing her cheek, putting an arm around her. She had no fight left in her. She lay back, crying silently.
"I know this is not how you planned it to go," the doctor told her kindly. "But this is for the best. So we're going to move really quickly." He turned to Trevor, "I'll have a nurse to escort you down, okay? We won't put Olivia under until you've arrived."
"Okay, thanks." He looked at his wife-to-be and tried his best to smile despite his interior panic. "I love you so much, I'll be right behind you and I will be in there next to you and when Teddy comes out I will hold him and be with him until you wake up."
"Okay," Olivia replied, "I love you…"
"I love you too, see you in a minute." He kissed her lips and watched an orderly arrive to take her. A nurse was beside him and was speaking to him but he didn't notice. It wasn't til Olivia disappeared that he realized.
"Take these…" she handed him a set of blue scrubs. "You need to remove anything metal that you might be wearing, jewelry, a belt, anything… when we get down to the surgery prep, you'll need to change in to the scrubs and the doctor will come and get you from the waiting room."
"Okay," Trevor nodded.
/
Olivia was so relived when she saw Trevor come in to the sterile room. A chair was pulled aside for him to sit on beside Olivia. She smiled at him through her tears. "Thank God… I was worried you wouldn't come," she breathed the flood of tears out.
"I promised I would be here, I would never leave you alone for this, honey," he told her, brushing her tears away.
There were a few nurses around or people that were due to assist with the surgery. An anesthesiologist connected a drip in to Olivia's IV. "Okay Olivia," he spoke to her, "I'm going to put a mask over your face and I'm going to have you breathe a couple of very deep breaths in, it'll feel just a little bit weird but don't panic, just nice big, deep breaths..."
She nodded, trying to fight her fears. "I love you so much," she told Trevor. He kissed her lips. "I love you too, my Olivia," he smiled, brushing away a tear.
A nurse afforded Trevor a hand on his shoulder, noticing that he was becoming emotional. He watched the anesthesiologist put the mask over Olivia's face. She did panic and quickly Trevor realized there was an element of PTSD involved with having something over her mouth and nose. He grabbed her flailing arm as she called out for help, probably half-faded out.
"I'm here Olivia, it's okay, just relax, you're safe," Trevor told her, hating to see her get herself worked up. He kissed the back of her hand, holding her hand in both of his tightly until she went a little limp.
"Okay Dad," the doctor smiled at him, putting a mask on, "we're going to get started," there was a surgical sheet erected from Olivia's chest down to keep him from seeing what was going on.
He listened to the doctor speak to his surgical assistant, trying to tune it out.
He waited and stroked Olivia's hair as if she could feel it. He blinked back his tears but was comforted by the steady sound of her heart beat on the monitor. He realized he hadn't messaged either his sister or his mother. He hoped they'd understand.
"Let's move fast now," he heard the doctor say. "There's a little desaturation going on."
"Are they both okay?" Trevor asked.
"Yes, they're both absolutely fine, but we want to deliver your son as quickly as possible," he replied very matter-of-factly.
"Are you a Dad already?" one of the nurses asked him, distracting him while the surgeon made the cut and started to work on delivering their baby.
Trevor nodded, "Yeah, Olivia and I have an adopted 6-year-old boy and a 3-year-old girl, we're a blended family… but my daughter's mother is no longer in the picture and our son didn't have a father in the picture either to start, but this is our first child together…" he blabbered on, finding himself talking about over nervousness.
"That's really nice," the nurse remarked. "Have you guys been together awhile?"
"We've known each other for 20 years but we've only been together just over a year… the kids are so close, we are all so happy… hopefully the kids will be thrilled with their new brother too," he managed a smile.
"Trevor, do you know if Olivia is on any medication?" the doctor asked, interrupting, "or if she has any underlying conditions we should know about?"
"No?" he asked, "why?"
"Just wondering," he replied. The doctor turned to the assistant, "I need some suction because we may have a bit of bleeding," he murmured, "it's hard to see," he murmured.
Trevor started to feel a little anxious. "Is Olivia okay?"
"Yes, don't worry, she's fine… we just have a little bit of a tear, but we're about to take the baby out and work on fixing that up, I think your little man is really anxious to come out…."
He was picturing all of the worst case scenarios in his mind, of Olivia having a massive bleed, or worse…
"Are you okay, Dad?" the nurse asked, noticing him pale a little.
He nodded, "I just want them to both be okay," he replied.
"At the very worst, Trevor, she'll have lost a little blood, but it's fine, I've dealt with ruptures that make this look like a small scrape, you just get ready to meet your little boy." The doctor spoke to the assistant quietly.
The nurse checked in on the surgical side of the sheet and glanced at Trevor, "are you ready?" she asked him, "because your son is all but waving to the world."
Trevor worked to steel himself for a moment. He took a deep breath, muffled by the surgical mask around his face. "There he is!" the doctor exclaimed, not seeming worried about the bleed he'd mentioned.
The neo-natal team were on stand-by due to the baby's premature arrival. There was silence for a moment as Trevor held his breath and he saw the nurse motion to take the baby. "Why is he not making a sound?" he asked alarmed.
There was some movement but relief flooded him as he heard a loud inhalation of air followed by the sound of a newborn infant cry. The nurse held the tiny baby in her hands and showed him. His breath caught in his throat, he wanted to take him, but she stopped him, "this is your new son, Trevor!" the umbilical cord had already been cut but he didn't care about that. "Give us one moment and he's all yours…"
The baby cried and the nurse whisked him to the other side of the room and checked him over with the neo-natal team and brought him immediately back over to Trevor.
"Oh my goodness…" Trevor murmured, holding his arms out. He took his tiny infant son, cradling him with just one arm against his chest. "Hello my son…" he breathed. "Welcome…" he found his eyes filling with tears.
He glanced up to try to get a read for how Olivia was doing. He was elated on one hand, but scared for his wife-to-be. "Okay ready to close?" the doctor asked his assistant. "She's okay?" Trevor asked as he bounced his crying infant ever so slightly.
"Yes," he replied, "we're just stitching up and since there was a little blood loss, we will maybe look at a small transfusion when she wakes up, but everything is fine, Trevor, you all did very well." he smiled. "After we're done, we'll take Olivia to recovery and since baby is fine, we'll get him organized in a crib and you we'll meet you and the baby back in maternity.
"Thank you…" he breathed with relief.
"Here," the nurse held out a blue blanket. Trevor placed Teddy in to the nurse's arms and helped her wrap his son's tiny little naked body up. He took him back. "My little tiny Teddy," he murmured, "we're going back upstairs and you'll get to meet your Mommy soon."
A neo-natal nurse arrived with a small crib for Teddy. "Would you like to follow me Trevor?" she asked, "we can put your son in the crib, take him up to neo-natal care, clean him off and take some photos of him and get his birth weight and size and officiate his name on the crib."
He nodded. "Thanks." He glanced at Olivia, "I kind of … don't want to leave Olivia."
The nurse who had been with him the whole way the through the surgery assured him it would be at least 30 minutes before she was back in her maternity suite.
/
Trevor was given back all of the belongings that he had left at the doorway of the OR – his phone, Olivia's ring which he took with him to put back on her finger, zipping it in to his wallet for safe-keeping. He went straight to the neo-natal ward with the nurse, texting his sister and Joan on the way to let them know that Teddy had arrived and asked them to come as soon as possible.
"So, is he totally okay?" Trevor asked the nurse.
"It looks like he's perfect, he really was ripe," she joked. He scooped his son out of the crib and grinned at him.
"He's so sweet, look at his dark hair…" the nurse remarked. Trevor ran his fingers through the soft fuzz of hair. The only thing that could have been more perfect was if Liv was with him.
They lay Teddy down on the scales and the nurse began to fill out a birth card for him with the measurements. "And his name is Teddy?" she asked.
"Theodore, but we're going to be calling him Teddy for awhile until he's old enough to hate us for it," Trevor joked.
The nurse grinned, "It's the most adorable name….I'm a big fan... he certainly has lovely warm skin and lovely hair…"
"Like his mother," Trevor replied, "both my kids are going to take after their mother…" he pretended to be upset, but he didn't care.
Once they had taken his measurements, they moved Teddy back to Olivia's room where Olivia would be returned to not long after.
/
It was around 10pm when Olivia came back in to the ward, still asleep. She had more wires connected to her including a bag of blood for transfusion. Everyone was quiet and Teddy was asleep in Trevor's arms. He found it so hard to part with him.
"You can have a go at waking Olivia up," the nurse told him, waving briefly at the other two in the room. He knew how much his mother and Erika wanted to hold the baby, but he was adamant that no one else should hold him before Olivia.
"I suggest that we arrange Olivia so that we can place baby Teddy on her chest for some skin to skin time..."
Trevor nodded, he knew she would be happy with that.
"Would you like us to give you guys some privacy for a little while?" Erika asked. "Mom is coming to stay at your place with me and Sonny, we can come back tomorrow."
"Okay," he agreed.
"Honey, I made some pasta and it's in a little bowl with some bread so please make sure you eat it, okay?" she nodded toward a little bag beside Olivia's things.
"Thanks Mom," he managed a smile and kissed both his sister and mother on the cheek. "I can't wait for you both to hold him tomorrow. Depending on how Liv is feeling, I might be able to go home for a shower and some clothes… but I'll stay tonight."
They said their goodbyes and Trevor came to Olivia's side. The nurse pulled the curtain around her bed. He laid Teddy in his crib and assisted the nurse in pulling Olivia's gown loose just a little so that they could slot Teddy beneath it.
"Olivia, you're back in your room, baby, can you hear me?" Trevor asked her when she lifted her hand to her face. He took her hand. "Olivia?"
"Mmmm," she groggily whimpered.
"That's the way," the nurse encouraged her, "its time to wake up, Olivia, your baby is here and he's waiting to meet you!" She stirred a little bit and made a face that showed him she was irritated by his voice right by her ear. She swatted him away.
He couldn't help but to smile.
"Uncover Teddy and we'll put him beneath her gown…" the nurse instructed him. He carefully unwrapped the brand new life before him. It all felt incredibly surreal. "You're gonna meet your Mommy," he told his son. Carefully, with the nurse's assistance, they set Teddy down on Olivia's chest.
He stirred slightly but settled quickly.
"This is really therapeutic for the baby's body temperature, heart beat and bonding, we encourage dad's to have that skin-to-skin contact too," she told him.
"Okay," he nodded.
Olivia opened her eyes slowly but surely within minutes of them laying Teddy on her. She clocked Trevor on one side of her, looking a little bewildered, trying to focus.
"Olivia," the nurse cut in, "you're in the hospital, you've just had surgery so you need to keep still, you've had your baby, do you remember?" she spoke slowly and deliberately so she could take it in.
She frowned and looked to Trevor, "My baby…" her voice trailed off, "the baby…" she said, as if she was suddenly sobering, she went to move but Trevor put his hand out to steady her.
"Sweetie, here…" he took her hand and placed it carefully on her son's back. "Our little boy is here with his Mommy…"
She gently traced her infant's frame with her hand, still trying to make heads or tails of what had happened. "Wait… it's Teddy?" she slurred.
"Yes baby, you did it, he's here… but you're still a little sleepy from the surgery, but its okay, just rest, we're not going anywhere."
"It'll take about half an hour for the anesthesia to wear off," the nurse told him. "Just keep talking to her…"
/
Olivia sobered up fairly fast knowing that her son had arrived. Trevor couldn't believe the difference an hour made. He smiled as he watched her cuddle her son.
"Are you happy?" he asked.
Olivia nodded but he could see there was a little bit of underlying sadness and he understood. "I'm happy that he's here and safe and sound…" she murmured. The nurse had helped Olivia in to a more upright position, but she was still in a lot of pain.
"But…?"
She said nothing and shrugged. "You're upset because you weren't there when he was born…" Trevor sensed it and he was sure it was a thing.
She nodded slowly, still a little sluggish. "I wanted to hold him and hear his first cry and I feel…. Detached."
Trevor felt disappointed for her too. "Baby, its okay to feel like that, you've had a huge thing happen but… all you have to do is just spend this time with him. Would you like me to tell you all about it?"
She sniffed away some tears and nodded with a little smile, trying not to cry. She lifted Teddy up against her and kissed his forehead.
Trevor began to explain what happened since she was put under until his first encounter, sparing no details, wanting her to feel like she was there.
"Thank you….for being there, through it all and for not leaving my side."
He smiled, "Olivia, I love you so much and I love our little boy…"
"He's so beautiful…" she marveled, looking at him. He hadn't made too much noise, only when he wanted to eat which was fed to him with a bottle due to Olivia's anesthesia wearing off. "He's got Erika's dark hair…"
"No, he's got your dark hair," Trevor corrected her. She kissed her baby again and let out a contented sigh.
"I love him…" she told Trevor. "It feels like a dream…." She paused and appraised her fiancé properly and grinned at him. "Wow, speaking of a dream… you're wearing scrubs…"
"Olivia!" he exclaimed, "these are legitimate surgical scrubs, I had to wear them to come in to see you!"
"They look very nice on you," she nodded approvingly, "you better change and pack them away for home."
"For home?" he remarked with a surprised laugh. "For what purpose?"
"I think we'll find a use..."
"Oh my gosh…." He motioned to cover Teddy's ears. "Olivia Benson… our child!"
She giggled in a way that was a little out of character. "Just pack them if you know what's good for you…" she replied, turning back to her baby.
A nurse came in to check on Olivia and the baby. "How are we doing in here?" she asked.
Trevor was still blushing a little.
"Good, we're just enjoying him…" Olivia replied.
"It's very late, but I'd really like you to try to have some fluid, Olivia and I'd like you to try to eat something light, some crackers or some toast…"
She nodded. "Yeah, okay…"
"Once you drink some water, you might like to try some orange juice, are you intending on breast feeding?"
Olivia nodded, "For awhile yeah, I want to at least try."
"Okay, well let me go and get you something to eat." She turned to Trevor, "would you like some sandwiches?"
Trevor shook his head. "No thank you, I have some dinner in my bag."
"What do you have?" Olivia asked, suddenly very hungry.
"I have spaghetti that Mom made and it's not exactly light food, but I will get Mom to bring some for you tomorrow."
"Good," she smiled.
The nurse laughed, leaving them to it.
/
"I never want to let him go…" Olivia murmured, fatigued. "I just want to hold him forever…"
"Well you can't because you have to share…" he chuckled. He was tired too. It was after 2 in the morning and Olivia had managed to hold down a little bit of food and also some orange juice. "You should probably get some sleep…" he suggested. "You're going to be sore…"
She nodded, not wanting to let go but knowing he was right. He stood up and took Teddy from her gently. He kissed him on the forehead and placed him down in the crib. "Goodnight my little man…" he murmured, overwhelmed by just how much love he had for his son already.
He turned to Olivia and leaned over her, kissing her lips. "I love you, close your eyes… I'm going to get changed."
/
In the morning Olivia awoke to the sounds of her baby crying. She glanced at Trevor who slept uncomfortably in the chair, snoring right through the baby's cries. She didn't want to wake him, but she couldn't get to Teddy herself.
"Baby…" she reached over and laid her hand on Trevor's arm, "baby, wake up…"
He jolted awake and sat up, startled. He looked around, confused until he got his bearings. He stood up and went to Teddy's crib unprompted, trying to wake himself up. He lifted him out sleepily and rocked him for a moment. He turned to Olivia, "do you want to hold him while I go make the bottle up?"
She nodded, hating that she couldn't just feed him herself. She had to wait til the anesthetic had left her body. Teddy was crying angrily, his little face screwed up, a cry from the back of his throat cutting through the silence.
"Its okay my sweetheart," she murmured, pressing her lips against his warm head. "Its okay, Daddy is getting you some food," she promised. "He'll be right back, my love…" she kissed him again, taking in the new baby scent. He smelled like baby wipes and lotion and she could have eaten him up.
A few moments later, Trevor returned with a small bottle for him. "I think he might need a new diaper too…"
"Oh man," he made a face, "I have really had very little experience at this…" he chuckled. "The nurses have been doing it…"
"You're being thrown in to the deep end," Olivia remarked, "if you wheel his crib over beside me and do it here, I can walk you through it…"
He agreed and grabbed the crib. He got himself set up while Olivia held the baby. He took Teddy from her and laid him down and began to undress him. "Ohhhh," he chuckled, watching the baby yawn. "That is such a big yawn!" he exclaimed, grinning at his son as he undone the snaps on the onesie and took it off him, placing it aside. "Oooft, you left us a little gift in there…" he made a face at the smell emanating from the diaper he hadn't even began to unfasten.
"You're gonna need wipes…" Olivia told Trevor. He reached over for them and undone the tiny diaper from his son and slid the fresh one beneath it.
"Hold the front of the diaper over his crotch or you will get pee all over yourself if he decides to go, trust me on that," she informed Trevor.
He laughed, "Noah?"
"Oh yeah, no one warned me…. Nothing like getting pee all over your face as a new parent," she laughed, enjoying watching the man that she loved fussing over their child.
He did as she said and balled up the shitty diaper with one hand trying not to look too disgusted. He held up Teddy's legs, he continued to cry, but the cries had waned and he realized it maybe had more to do with the wet and poop diaper more than it did, hunger. "There you go my son," he smiled, doing away with it in a garbage beneath a sink, praising himself for the good throw.
Olivia laughed. "I think you peaked too soon," she told him, "you forgot to wipe his little butt.
"Shit…" he muttered.
"Shit indeed," Olivia smiled, "What are you gonna do now, Langan?"
He groaned, "I don't know? What should I do?"
"You better hope you get all that poop gone in one wipe…" she teased, "And then maybe if you move him close enough I can hold his legs while you get rid of it."
"You are loving this!" he couldn't help but to laugh at Olivia's good mood. "You are so evil…"
She chuckled. He went to work using way more than one wipe to get the job done.
"Trevor," she began, "it's just baby poop, you're going to get it on you at some point, don't be so precious. There is going to be a day sometime soon where you are going to probably catch it in your hands… so… relax a little."
"No…. no, don't say that, that's actually a nightmare situation."
Olivia shook her head, amused at the rude awakening he was going to be in for. "You don't even know what you're in for, my heart," she grinned at him as she leaned over as best as she could to hold the diaper in place while Trevor went to throw away the soiled wipes.
He came back and fastened the diaper on his son and redressed him.
"Okay 5/10," Olivia scored him, "but don't worry, give it a week and you'll be a whizz at this," she winked.
Trevor handed Teddy back to Liv and gave her the bottle; she hadn't yet had the chance to feed their son. She took the bottle with a big smile and held him in the crook of her arm and popped the teet of the bottle in to her son's mouth.
It took a couple of goes, but he took it and started drinking.
She smiled contentedly. "I love him so much…" she breathed. "He is so beautiful and perfect…"
Trevor agreed, pulling the rail of Olivia's bed down so he could get close and put his arm around her. He kissed her temple. "I love you," he told her, "I'm so proud of how brave you were when everything turned to shit…"
"Except that it didn't because we have him, he's healthy and that's the main thing…"
"You're not still sad about the way it happened?" he asked, remembering how she had been tearful the night before.
"Well… I would have preferred that I was there for it, or awake for it, but I had a bad feeling about the labor as soon as I got that first contraction when I woke up at home, it was too much – so I'm just happy that my child is fine, that I am fine and that my husband-to-be was here to meet him even if I wasn't straight away."
Trevor kissed her cheek as they both marveled over their son. "That's a good way to look at it, sweetie…" he sighed with contentment.
"But… now I'm kinda freaking out about our move and where the baby is gonna sleep and that fucking giant painting that Eloise and Noah did in her room…"
"Don't worry about any of that, we have family to help, Liv, your priority is to get better soon and recover from your surgery because I imagine you'll be very sore and you won't be doing anything but tending to Teddy and the kids where you can and resting as much as you can."
She nodded.
He smiled. He reminded himself to speak to Carisi about their move later, he was going to need extra hands to pack and start moving things as quickly as possible.
"I love you too, by the way," she told him suddenly, "sorry, I didn't say it back before." She turned to him and looked in to his beautiful pale-green eyes and smiled. "Thanks for making me a Mommy again, it's literally my dream come true and to have someone else with me, sharing it… it's everything."
Trevor grinned back at her. "It is everything."