Chapter 29
Saya had fallen back to sleep surprisingly quick. It was strange, still having so many conflicting emotions about this man, but this was different. Saya's life had once again been flipped upside down after her admission about Akira. She couldn't keep it a secret, with both her conscience and her gut eating away at her. And then there was their time together just hours earlier.
It had felt so natural for her to be with Orochimaru, to hold him that way. To reach that point and to think of it being ripped away so quickly, it triggered her. It was one thing for Saya to tell Akira she didn't want to see Orochimaru killed, but now she felt as though she had to protect him. Not just for his sake, but for her own. That's why she fell asleep with her arm around him. The sudden want to do so was unexpected, but not as much as the man's willingness to allow it.
Saya didn't wake cuddled up to Orochimaru, though. In fact, she woke up in her bed alone. Saya sat up slowly, frowning as she expected the worst. However, her heart skipped a beat as she turned to see the man standing in front of her bedroom window.
Orochimaru stood there with his arms crossed. He was dressed in a clean grey kimono with his hair hanging wet down his back, indicating he had been up and about already.
"You should have woken me up," Saya told him sleepily, rubbing at her eyes.
The man turned his head just long enough to glance at her with a blank expression. "No," he said as he tuned back to the window, "It was the soundest I've seen you sleep."
"You watch me sleep?" Saya asked with a chuckle.
"Just as you watch me," Orochimaru replied as he still stared out the window.
Saya felt her face go red as she gathered the blanket up around her as she had the night before. Orochimaru was being distant with her again, as he usually did after their more intimate moments together. Saya sighed quietly to herself as she watched him stand there with his back to her.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked him.
Orochimaru glanced back at her again, his eyebrows slightly drawn. His eyes danced slowly over her, watching as she crawled out of bed and slipped into her own kimono from the night before.
"Everything," he nearly whispered as Saya came to stand beside him. She looked up with a concerned expression.
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
As Orochimaru's eyes hardened the longer he stared down at her, Saya's concern grew that much more. She had asked him time and again if all the aggravation for her attention was worth it, mainly because she was tired of the pressure. But now, Saya was faced with the thought that maybe that aggravation had finally come to its peak with him.
There had been so many highs and lows between her and this man in such a short period of time. The past few days had been especially stressful. Saya was exhausted and heartbroken, but her stomach turned at the thought of Orochimaru coming to his senses and walking away.
She thought it was what she wanted, but she couldn't deny the sick feeling that was washing over her now that she was possibly faced with it, just as she had a few days prior when she told him to leave. She was growing less confused about her feelings toward the man. There were still things she despised about him and what he had done, which also gave Saya a sense of guilt.
"That is yet to be determined, but we will start discussing our options today."
Orochimaru's tone was emotionless, giving Saya a small glimpse of his shinobi instincts. She continued to look up at him with concern.
"We as in…" Saya trailed off, waiting for him to finish the statement for her.
"Kabuto," he replied without hesitation. Orochimaru's eyes shifted to hers. "Not only do you have an obligation to fulfill today, but this is a matter you will have very little use in. I do need you to repeat anything Akira disclosed to you, but decision making is no longer your place."
"Well, that's a little harsh," Saya scoffed at him. While she was eager to enjoy a festival day with her son, she didn't appreciate being shoved to the side like this.
"You have a conflict of interest-"
"You are a conflict of interest," Saya cut him off.
The man tilted his head down to hers as he raised an eyebrow. His eyes held little emotion in them. "I could say the very same about you, Saya."
She opened her mouth to speak but tripped over her words. This was normally the point in these conversations that Saya would tell Orochimaru to leave, to come to his senses and give up on her. He knew this as well as he continued for her.
"How many times have you pointed this out yourself? I specifically remember every word you threw at me just days ago before you turned your back to me to tend to that man. But I also remember how easy it was for you, just hours after, to sit and have a civil conversation with me, to allow me to sleep in your bed."
Orochimaru's eyes darkened as he paused. "Still angry at me for what I had done, how easy it was for you to climb on top of me and give away his plan so quickly."
Clenching her jaw, Saya narrowed her eyes at the man. She still didn't speak but drilled her gaze into his as her thoughts tumbled over one another.
As if he could sense those thoughts himself, Orochimaru continued. "It was you who admitted to wanting to stay if I hadn't cursed you. It was also you who admitted that if you were alone, this would be a much easier decision for you to make. So for the last time, Saya, drop the act."
"It's not an act," she almost spat at him. "I did fall in love with him. I still care about him. I should be with him. But because of you I can't have that, not truly. You did curse me and I'm not alone. Neither of us should make decisions based on what could have been over what is."
"Then why bring his plan to my attention? Just imagine if I were to be assassinated. You would be free of all of this, would you not?"
Saya still stood with her jaw clenched, anger growing within her at the glint of amusement in the man's eye. She didn't answer immediately; she didn't need to. Orochimaru knew why she admitted what was going on, and it was because she cared what happened to him. For whatever stupid, crazy reason she didn't want to be rid of her sadistic snake after all. Not like this.
Easing the tension in her body, Saya turned her gaze to the window. "I want all of this to stop," she almost whispered, "and I wish you would at least try to understand how hard this is for me."
"I do understand it is difficult for you, Saya," Orochimaru replied, almost matching her soft tone. "But this is much more than I expected to handle when you showed up."
"I know," she agreed with a sigh. Saya ran her hands over her face. Her head was beginning to ache and that was something she didn't need for the day ahead.
Her thoughts were still tumbling. It wasn't a rare occurrence that Saya's mind wandered back to years past, to her first time spent with Orochimaru. How she had both a burning hate and burning need for the man. How she shed a tear the night she left and wondered what actually would have been if she stayed.
But right now that didn't matter. What mattered was how they were going to handle their new predicament, and whether Saya wanted to amid it or not, she was very much a part of it.
"Tetsuya shouldn't be up for awhile," Saya told him in a flat tone, changing the subject. "If you want, we can go downstairs and go over that conversation if you still think you need any other details."
Orochimaru simply uttered a small sound of approval.
Saya looked up at him briefly before turning to leave the room, but before she could take a step, Orochimaru stopped her. Grabbing her by the arm, he gently pulled her back to face him.
It certainly wasn't expected, as the man's grip was far softer than any of the other times he had grabbed for her. A quizzical expression painted Saya's face she lifted her eyes up to his.
For a moment the two just stared at each other. Saya couldn't help but wonder what was running through the man's head, especially as his slitted pupils danced back and forth across her face.
"What?" she finally asked him, almost whispering.
Words were lost on the man as he continued to gaze down at her. His eyelids dropped ever so slightly and Saya knew. She reached up just as he lowered his head and let their lips gently meet.
There was no smirk or sneer, just warmth as his tongue parted her lips, deepening the connection. Saya felt a sudden sense of anticipation rise within her, causing her to curl her hand around the hem of his kimono.
Orochimaru lifted his other hand to run along her jaw and to the back of her neck. Using the hand still wrapped around her arm, he pulled her that much closer against him. Saya uttered a small sound in the back of her throat at the movement. Her tongue twisted around his as her hand still clung to his chest.
Just as their intensity almost hit its peak, Orochimaru slowed and pulled away. His hands ran along her body before falling back to his sides, even as Saya kept her own against his chest. Her eyes danced across his, wondering the reason for the gentle gesture. But Orochimaru stayed silent as he swept past her to exit the bedroom and head downstairs.
Saya stood momentarily still as she watched him, catching herself as she brought the hand that was at his chest up to her lips. Something stirred in her then, a realization of just how determined this man was. Not in a way that irritated or disgusted her, but in a way that astonished her.
Quickly shaking herself from the thought, Saya made her way downstairs and into the kitchen. Orochimaru had made himself at home, already heating water on the stove for a morning cup of tea.
The pair spent the morning in a much more somber mood. Saya recited the best of her memory the conversation between her and Akira. It pained her to do so, feeling as though she were betraying him, but also knowing full well he also went against her wishes.
There wasn't much more to disclose than what Saya had already provided, but Orochimaru wanted every detail just to be sure. He didn't linger long afterward, only going back upstairs to change into the travel gear he wore on their trek to the village.
Tetsuya woke after the man left for the day to meet with Kabuto. The boy shared breakfast with his mother before they readied for a day at the festival. Saya's mind was spinning, but she hoped the fresh air and smiling faces would be a nice reprieve.
In fact, she made a quick phone call to her friend Hitomi to see if her and her son would join the two. She excitedly accepted, wanting to catch up with her friend.
Saya dressed herself in a soft pink kimono, a stark contrast to her midnight-blue hair. It was her favorite color and did wonders on lifting her spirits when she caught herself in the bedroom mirror. She dressed Tetsuya in a light black shirt and pants, making sure the pockets were empty and ready to be filled with more festival treats.
Hitomi and her son Mitsuho met them on the edge of the festival grounds. Her blonde hair was tied into a loose ponytail that mirrored Saya's own. The two boys greeted each other with smiles as they headed into town, picking up right where they left off at the end of their sleepover.
Saya's chest tightened as she watched the two, knowing their time together as friends may soon undertake a drastic change.
"So how is everything?" the blonde woman asked cautiously, no doubt seeing the frown on Saya's face.
Saya looked to her with a bewildered expression. "An absolute mess, honestly. I feel like I'm losing my mind."
The night Tetsuya had been dropped off for his sleepover, Saya had briefly introduced her friend to Orochimaru. All she had to do was mention his name and Hitomi knew, knew that he was Tetsuya's father and knew he was the man that had given her friend some strange shinobi curse.
"So, are the boys fighting yet or what? I figured there must be a reason you're not spending your time here with one of them."
Saya smiled reassuringly. "You make it sound like I asked you here as a last resort. I simply wanted to spend time with my best friend, is all. But Hitomi, you don't even know the half of it."
Just having breakfast a short time ago, the food vendors didn't catch the eyes of the two boys, but instead they were eager to play games. A booth at a small fishing pond caught their attention. The two women ushered them on, where they bet who could catch the biggest goldfish.
"Akira was really surprised to see Tetsuya here the other day," Hitomi commented as she grinned toward the two boys. "I figured it was your business to tell him why you needed a night alone."
"Oh, he found out," Saya sighed in response. "He brought Tetsuya home at a particularly awkward time."
The blonde woman raised her eyebrows, a slight smirk pulling at her lips.
"We were in the shower," Saya started as she also raised her brow. A tinging at her neck reminded her of that morning, of the bite marks that were still healing. She raised her hand to rub over those marks, her friend eyeing them.
"What did he do?" Hitomi nearly whispered.
Saya grinned and closed her eyes. "Nothing I didn't want him do to, I promise."
"Saya," her friend hissed. But as Saya rose her eyes to hers with that grin still on her face, Hitomi giggled.
"Anyway," Saya continued as her grin faded, "Akira found out and went ballistic. He started a fight right in the backyard. I begged both of them to calm down, but they wouldn't. Akira wanted to take his anger out and Orochimaru wanted to put him in his place. At first, I was just embarrassed but Orochimaru roughed Akira up pretty bad."
Hitomi gasped, but Saya laid a hand on her arm. "He's fine, he had a med ninja heal him."
She paused as the two boys could be heard laughing, struggling with fish on both of their tiny poles.
"I told Orochimaru to leave. I was so mad and disappointed and hurt…"
Saya turned to her friend, that hurt still lingering in her eyes. "I drug the hell out of him, in front of his comrades, Akira, Tetsuya, and he just took it. And then he left. And I cried."
Her eyes became wet at the not-so-distant memory, which earned her a small hug from her friend. Saya patted her on the back and wiped carefully at her eyes as she pulled away.
"And then I got mad at myself," she added with a sharper tone. "Why the hell would I cry, it was what I wanted, right? But after Akira finally went to sleep and I went upstairs to take a bath, there he was. He never left.
"We talked about nearly everything that night. Akira, the curse mark, Tetsuya, us. It's like since we started sleeping together, you know, again, we can actually talk. It's not just tension and snarky comments anymore.
"And just as soon as everything seemed to be patched back up, Akira left. And not only did he just leave, he left to go round up some of Orochimaru's enemies. That's what Orochimaru's off dealing with now, how we're going to handle it."
Hitomi gaped at her. "All that in just a few days?"
Saya nodded. "Now Tetsuya and I are in the middle of some shinobi scuffle. I don't know what's going to happen in the next few weeks or months. Akira wants Orochimaru dead, but I can't let that happen."
The conversation was cut short as the two boys came running back, each carrying a bag of water with a fish inside.
"So, you two just decided all on your own that you wanted a new pet, huh?" Saya laughed with her hands on her hips.
"Meet Bubbles and Guppy," Mitsuho told her as he and Tetsuya raised their bags.
"Well, I guess we'll have to make a trip to the pet shop before we head home," Saya commented as she scratched Tetsuya's head. The boy had yet to have a pet, and with everything bad that had happened recently, she didn't feel like letting him down.
"How about some ice cream?" Hitomi asked.
It was early, but the boys didn't question it as they were carted off to a nearby vendor. The two settled on a small bowl each, loaded with just as much candy topping as there was ice cream. Saya and Hitomi nibbled at peach popsicles.
They sat in a small grassy area not far from the fishing pond, watching as other kids managed to snag new pet fish of their own. Saya wasn't hungry, but the cool treat felt refreshing as the sun shined directly on them. The popsicle made her smirk as her mind wandered to the night before, to the peach flavored sake she had shared with Orochimaru.
"So," Hitomi chimed with a lilt in her voice, "how is it?"
Saya looked at her in confusion but rolled her eyes when the blonde wiggled her eyebrows.
"Oh come on," she nearly whispered when Saya didn't respond. "You know you've missed girl talk."
"You have no idea," Saya agreed with a laugh. "It's just, a lot's changed, and it's changed really fast. The more I'm with him, the more I get sucked into this. But that night, when you kept Tetsuya, I just couldn't hold it in anymore."
She paused to lower her voice, eyes darting between the boys and back to the other women. "I swear I thought I finished as soon as he was in me."
Hitomi held a hand to her mouth as a flush spread across her face.
"Last night I didn't even have to think about it. I just climbed on top of him and I…I fucked him. I didn't think I would ever have him at my mercy. I don't think I can walk away from him now, as awful as it sounds."
The blonde patted her on the knee. "It's not awful, Saya. We both know you still had a thing for him after all this time. There's no shame in letting yourself have what you want. Not now, especially when you two seem to be getting closer. Who knows, maybe you can put the past behind you and start over?"
"Even with that he did to me?" Saya asked as she raised a hand to the shoulder where her curse mark lay. "And Akira, it's such an awful thing to do to him."
Hitomi scooted closer as she finished the last of her popsicle. "Let me ask you this, Saya, if you could take away that one night, with the curse mark and everything, would you have stayed with him?"
"I may have," she muttered. She didn't mention that she had already admitted to Orochimaru that she would have. "Even after all of that, I was sad when I left then. I hated his guts, but I also wanted him."
"Then there you go, Saya," she told her almost soothingly. "Even with everything that's happened, you two still have a connection."
Saya took a bite out of her popsicle as it began to melt and run down her fingers. "He did admit it was an impulse," she said solemnly, "doing this to me."
"Could you forgive him for that?"
Her eyes instantly shot towards Tetsuya. The curse was somehow the reason he was able to even exist. Because of that alone, of course she would forgive him.
"It's a big thing to do to someone on impulse," Saya commented, "but I think in time maybe I could. If he truly meant it."
"I'm not trying to downplay what he did. I can't imagine how scary that must have been, how aggravating it's been for you since, but Saya, he's here with you. He came home with you for the festival, he still here after you handed his ass to him, he's off planning your next move with this Akira situation. For someone that tried to put you on a leash, he seems to be letting you lead an awful lot."
"What are you saying?" Saya asked as she finished her popsicle and chewed on the stick.
Hitomi shrugged. "Maybe you sunk your teeth into him as much as he did you."
Saya shook her head in frustration. "He has been relentless."
"Because you blew his mind just as hard as he blew yours. He's still a man, after all. Add in a touch of obsession and a dash of crazy and there you go."
"I haven't blown him in five years."
The two women burst out laughing then, earning a few glances from the people gathered around the pond. Their boys looked back at them with curious expressions before going back to their ice cream.
Saya let the laughter roll though her. It had been too long since she had laughed like this. But it couldn't last, not as another thought washed over her. She sighed.
"Akira, though. I hate doing this to him."
Hitomi let her laughter cease as Saya became serious again. "He is a good man. I understand how that part's hard for you. But if he's dragging you into a shinobi conflict just to spite Orochimaru, that's not fair."
"I think he's desperate," Saya said with a wince. "And it's just as unfair what I'm doing to him. I don't want to say goodbye, but I'm at a loss. I can't handle either one of them getting hurt, at least not like this."
"But you also can't say goodbye to Orochimaru," the blonde commented.
"No," Saya agreed softly.
"I'm so sorry, Saya," Hitomi whispered as she rubbed her along the back. "I wish I could tell you what's right or make this go away."
"You seem to be favoring Orochimaru."
"Not necessarily," she replied with a shrug. "I just know, curse mark or no, you haven't been able to stop thinking about him after all this time."
Saya stared at the grass and grinned sadly. "I haven't."
Her eyes snapped up as the two boys turned in the grass with their empty bowls. "What now?" the older boy asked with a grin on his face.
Saya's eyes brightened as she smiled at her friend's son. "What would you two like to do? I know you won't be hungry for a while."
"Another game?" Hitomi asked the two.
After clearing away their trash, the four of them made their way back to the main road the festival ran along. The boys practically lead the way, stopping at almost game booth they passed. Saya handed over coin after coin without a second thought. She wanted Tetsuya to enjoy the day as much as possible.
She was especially pleased when the boys wandered up to a booth lined with balloons along the back wall. The goal was to toss shuriken at the different colored balloons and gain points. Each color represented a different number and your total score set you in different prize tiers. A perfect score was using all three shuriken to pop the only three green balloons on the wall.
Since Tetsuya was too short to properly see over the booth's counter, the vendor offered a chair for the boy to stand on.
"Whatever will help him out," he told Saya warmly as he then stood to the side with his arms crossed.
"Oh, he'll hit them," Saya said matter-of-factly. "He just needs a clear view."
And he did. The shuriken were small and lighter than what his father had allowed him to practice with, but Tetsuya hit three green balloons in a row. A perfect score.
As the four of them cheered and patted the boy on the back, the vendor laughed along with them. "Well, well, well, look at this little warrior! Someone must have trained you well, boy."
Saya gave Tetsuya a hug before she picked him up out of the chair. "They're working on it," Saya replied with a smile. She wondered if Orochimaru would have been proud of the boy. She certainly was.
"I'll tell you what," the vendor said as he moved to the left side of the booth. "Pick out any two prizes you want. I've never seen a youngster this small throw so well."
Tetsuya's eyes beamed as he scanned the wall. The first thing that caught his attention was a pair of genuine shuriken. He looked to his mother for approval, knowing she hadn't let him keep any of his own just yet. Not wanting to ruin the mood, Saya gave him a small grin and nodded. His first prize came in a small black box wrapped with ribbon.
"And what else?" the man asked.
"That," Tetsuya pointed enthusiastically to a white, plush serpent hanging along the wall.
Saya almost frowned as the stuffed snake was passed to them.
"It's got eyes are sharp as you, kid," the vendor commented with a laugh.
The snake was made of a soft, minky fabric with shiny yellow marbled eyes. "It looks like Dad's snake," Tetsuya commented before he gave the plush a squeeze. He then surprised his mother by draping the snake around her neck.
For the slightest of moments her body froze. The small white snakes from her hallucination after being cursed flooded her mind, of the snapping and hissing that she ran from in a frenzied state. She tried to chase the memory away as quickly as possible. It wasn't lost on her that these snakes that haunted her dreams resembled Orochimaru himself. And therefore, her son.
"And what's his name going to be?" Saya asked in a strained voice, trying her best to force a smile.
He scrunched his little face at the snake before lighting up again. "Haru!"
"Oh, I think that's perfect," Hitomi commented.
It was the perfect name, not just because of the festival's namesake, but because of the meaning. This was going to be a spring that they always remembered, for new beginnings and future memories.
To keeping riding the thrill of the win, the two boys quickly made their way onto another game booth, and then another. Instead of a lunch, the group picked up treats and fried snacks along the way. The boys continued to load up on toys and prizes, but also candy that they nibbled on all throughout the day.
Saya and Hitomi would take the time to shop the craft vendors of the festival, where Saya fell in love with a bamboo windchime detailed with bright cherry blossoms painted along the wood. It would be perfect for the evening storms that were making a common occurrence with the warming weather.
As the day wore on the two women continued to catch up on the changes that had occurred over the past few weeks. The conversation eventually made its way back to Orochimaru, but this time about his role as a father.
Saya couldn't help but praise the man. She explained to her friend that Orochimaru had taken Tetsuya in without a complaint. That he was very patient and understanding with the boy, and how he wanted to train him as he grew older. She couldn't help but smile.
Before grabbing dinner to go, a trip to the pet shop rounded off the day, as promised. Saya purchased a bowl and supplies for Guppy the fish, including a cute treasure chest that Tetsuya picked out for decoration.
The sun was beginning to set and cast shadows across the village as the four parted ways for the day and headed home. Saya carried a handful of bags into the house, filled with their spoils of the day. There was now enough candy in the house to last for months.
The two made light conversation as they ate dinner together in the kitchen and indulged in a few treats. Then Saya gathered the boy's belongings and the new pet fish and ushered him to his room. When Guppy's bowl was filled with water and decorated to their liking, Saya set it on the small dresser in front of the window.
"There," Saya said with a grin. "Now he'll have a view of the creek and plenty of sunshine."
The sun was set now, but moonlight would soon light up the bowl just as well. Tetsuya grabbed the container of fish food they had purchased and sprinkled a little into the bowl. The fish instantly made to catch the falling flakes.
"When's Dad coming home?" he suddenly asked.
Saya sat on the boy's bed, curling the plush snake into a neat coil on top of his pillow. "I don't know," she answered honestly. "I thought he would be back by now. I guess he and Kabuto had a lot to talk about."
"I wish he could have come today," the boy commented as he climbed onto the bed to sit beside her.
"I know, but we all still had a lot of fun. It was nice to have some different company."
Tetsuya reached for the snake. "Will you tell him about the game?"
"Of course," Saya replied with a laugh. She then ran a hand over his black hair. "I think he would have been pleased to see that."
Because their trip to the festival kept him from having a nap during the day, Tetsuya was ready to curl up and go to sleep now that he was still. He laid down on top of the covers, curling the snake up against his chest.
"I knew you'd be wiped out," Saya said softly as she rose from the bed.
She made her way to the door and turned the light off. But before she shut the door she turned back. "Tetsuya, I know I let you have those shuriken, but please promise me you won't play with them on your own, ok? Wait until one of us is watching you."
Tetsuya muttered a small "ok" from the bed as he closed his eyes and hugged the snake tighter.
Saya grinned as she watched him for a moment, wondering when her snake would come home.