I Dont Know You Anymore

by SugarFap

When Olivia learns Elliot is back, her world is shaken up - but even more so when she meets up with Trevor Langan by pure happenstance, Olivia struggles with forgiveness and abandonment as Trevor Langan shapes up to be the man that she's never had and Elliot remains to be the one who ghosted her and left her heartbroken.

53. The Wrong Photo

A/N

Hi everyone, it feels like a really long time since I've posted a chapter. I feel like a lot of readers got bored with this so they stopped reading and I dont know who has given up and who hasn't. Question - IS this getting boring? If so, its cool, be honest let me know! I will spend my time writing something different, but still did have a few more ideas if I should keep it up. Personally, I have been dealing with a lot of ~*~*~ real life ~**~ stuff so I haven't had a lot of time to spend on this.

Can I please ask that you dont leave demanding comments, it kind of is a little rude especially if you don't say anything else but yelling at me to update without so much as a please or a thank you. Its disheartening as we do all spend a lot of time working on our fics and to get 0 niceness except an order barked to hurry up, it feels a bit futile and makes me second guess my efforts even if this is coming from a well meaning place.

Anyway, please leave some comments if you like the update - let me know if you thought it was boring or what you think I should do going forward. My other plans include;

-wedding/honeymoon
-a final EO show down - not sure if they will come out friends or foes

etc.

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"Are you feeling good about this?" Trevor asked Olivia as he carried the baby capsule and held her hand. "Or is it weird?"

"I'm excited to show him off – he is so adorable, who would not want to fall in love with what we made," she looked up at Trevor, holding his hand, feeling his fingers enclosed around hers, his thumb reaching to fidget with her engagement ring. He grinned at her, loving how enthusiastic she was about becoming a Mom again.

"Are you feeling okay about this?" she asked him.

He lifted her hand and kissed it. "I'll be happier to see some of your team more than others, but yes, I'm proud to be your arm candy and your baby daddy."

Olivia chuckled. "Fin, right?"

"Mmmm, there's no trouble there, I know he just doesn't have a lot of love for me and I hate the way he talks about you like he's been the best friend you've ever had."

"Yeah," Olivia agreed, "He is my friend but … lately things have taken a left turn, since Elliot." They headed in to the precinct and took the lift up to her office.

Olivia grinned when she looked around to find balloons and streamers and a small party organized.

"Surprise!" Amanda and Kat both announced in soft, excited tones, careful not to startle the baby.

"It's okay, he sleeps through kids yelling and screaming at home, he'll be okay with some noise!" Olivia chuckled, "hi you guys! This is amazing!" she looked around with a huge, open-mouthed smile, shocked by all the effort they had gone to.

Trevor grinned happily to see the girls excited to see their boss. He may have had his reservations about Amanda, but she could be Olivia's greatest ally at times where necessary.

"Congratulations, Trevor," Garland smiled at him and gave his hand a shake. Amanda and Kat came to his side and gave him an awkward celebratory hug which he appreciated and found to be well meaning.

"You're looking so happy, Liv, congratulations," Fin stepped in after waiting for the girls and Garland to move away.

"Aww, can we hold him?" Kat asked, "do we have to wait for him to wake up?"

"You guys can hold him, of course," Trevor replied. He lifted the baby capsule up and setting it down on to a desk. He pushed back the visor and gently scooped out their sleeping child. "Who's having first turn?" he asked, smiling, glancing at Amanda and Kat.

"Amanda, because then I can take him forever," Kat joked excitedly.

Trevor laughed. "I'll let her go second, she needs more experience with kids so she can babysit for us all," she retorted, holding out her arms. Trevor handed his son over. Amanda cooed over Teddy, "I can't believe he's four weeks already, time flies!"

"Maybe for you," he muttered jokingly. "That's four weeks of no sleep, you realise?" They laughed. He suspected Amanda knew all about it.

He left them with it and went back to Olivia where she chatted with Fin.

He wasn't going to sit back and let Fin make him feel unwelcome. Fin regarded him with a nod, "Hi Trevor, congratulations on becoming a father."

"Thanks Fin," he smiled, accepting a handshake.

"Counsellor!" he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders giving him a shake. "How are you?"

He laughed, turning around to find Carisi, "as a detective, shouldn't you know not to creep up on someone like that?" Trevor asked him, giving him a hug as they always did.

"Look at these two, always bro-ing out," Olivia remarked, laughing as she took a seat on the edge of Amanda's desk.

"This is the only guy that I would be happy to have as my brother-in-law," Trevor told him sincerely.

Carisi was chuffed at the very suggestion. "And your sister is the only girl that I want to marry."

"Better be," Trevor joked.

"Where's little man?" he asked, looking around until he found Amanda holding him while she and Kat cooed over him.

"Well, well, well…. a day of celebration!" a deep voice called from the doorway. Trevor could have groaned out loud when his eyes set upon Edgar Goodwin, the smarmy defence attorney that had been the source of his and Olivia's first serious fight.

He sauntered in and smiled at Olivia who eyed him warily as if he was a wolf circling prey. She edged away from him and without realizing moved slowly toward her son. "Detective Carisi, how are you liking playing Captain?" he wondered – a half-smile crossing his lips.

"It's fine, what do we owe this pleasure, Goodwin?" Carisi asked bluntly, understanding the tension that filled the room immediately that emanated from his brother-in-law to be.

"I didn't want to miss the party!" he jeered them. "Congratulations, Langan," he passed Trevor, "didn't think ya had it in ya!" he slapped him on the back and a hush fell over the room as Trevor's jaw formed a hard line. Everyone waited for his reaction.

"Don't touch me again," he snapped at the man who was slightly taller than him. Edgar grinned smugly and there was nothing that Trevor wanted to do than to wipe it off his face. He held up his hands with surrender, "calm down, I'm only kidding Langan, Liv, step aside, I need to see this baby? I just need to make sure it doesn't look like me…"

"What the fuck is this dude's problem!?" Sonny asked, furious for Trevor.

"Don't you speak to her like that!" Trevor snapped, pushing himself between Olivia and Edgar. "Who do you think you are? Disrespecting her, disrespecting me-"

Edgar looked around the room waiting for the cheap laughs that didn't come. Even the detectives that he knew weren't sold on Trevor and Olivia's romance were looking at him with fouled expressions.

The tension in the air was so thick.

"I'm so damn tired of this," Olivia piped up, stepping around her husband-to-be to see Edgar's face. "I let you disrespect my fiancé once and that was wrong of me, but I won't let you waltz in to my squad room and insult me and insult the man I'm going to marry with your…. Bullshit.

Edgar stepped back. "I went on a pity date with you once. You were so over the top and despite what you may think, I would have never gone home with you and you never had a chance."

Edgar blinked hard at her as if he couldn't entirely compute what she was saying.

"I think you better leave," Trevor said, stepping forward again at the first sound of Teddy stirring. Kat, who was holding him turned her back to the commotion and bounced him gently.

Changing his demeanour upon realizing he was not in welcoming territory, he turned to Carisi, "I'm here for the evidence relating to the Sage case."

"You know as well as I do that you don't need to turn up to receive the hardcopies of the evidence files, it's sent by email and you need to leave." Sonny shot back. "I'll be sure to email it by the end of day, after all, the deadline of evidence submission isn't until tomorrow afternoon, Counsellor, you can should see yourself out."

Edgar didn't say a word and seemed sheepish, he turned his back and left the very same way he arrived.

Once he was out of earshot Trevor turned to Olivia, "baby, you okay?" he wanted to know.

She nodded. He put an arm around her and drew her close to him, ignoring everyone for the moment. Olivia wrapped her arms around him. Trevor held her tight, allowing her feel secure within his strong embrace. She wanted to fall apart, still emotional from changing hormones, and desperately not wanting Trevor to feel upset by Edgar's behaviour.

He kissed her forehead.

"I'm so sorry Olivia," Garland apologized, "he had no right to waltz in here."

Trevor regarded Christian with a weak smile. He felt Olivia give him a squeeze to communicate that she was feeling anxious or upset. He squeezed her back gently to allow her to know that he understood. He felt her slowly pull away. She looked at him and he saw a little of panic in her eyes – he understood the look. He had seen it a few times since she gave birth – anxiety and trauma that could blanket her in an instant from something slightly going awry.

Everyone seemed to catch on to busy themselves, to give them a second – to concentrate on the baby. It was awkward, Trevor wasn't going to ignore the fact that people continued to steal glances their way but he wasn't concerned with everyone else. He was concerned with Olivia.

Once the hum of chatter filled the room he took Olivia's face in his hands and kissed her lips softly. "Its okay, he's gone, Liv," he said softly so no one could hear. "And I'm here, I won't leave your side and I've always got you," he promised. "K?"

She nodded at him as he held her gaze.

"I love you, I'm so sorry I didn't defend you last time," she told him, reaching up and taking his face too, ignoring every single other person in the room.

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart," he said kindly, "it's water way under the bridge now. I'm sorry that I didn't intervene last time or at least communicate my feelings with you."

"Water under the bridge," she repeated, drawing in a deep breath.

"That's it," he smiled a little more lightly, "big deep breath, you got this, we're excited, we get to show Teddy off and we are getting married soon and the kids are almost acting normal…" he chuckled.

Olivia managed a laugh. "What did I do to deserve you?" she asked.

He laughed, "I don't know, but you should count yourself very, very lucky," he joked with a wink as he put an arm around her and drew her near, kissing her temple.

"You good, Cap?" Carisi asked quietly, moving in on Olivia.

"Golden," she replied, trying to rid herself of the tension that had filled her body.

"Liv, your baby is waking…" Kat called out in a loud whisper.

Both she and Trevor laughed and made their way over as Teddy began to give a non-committed cry. "Its okay," Trevor smiled at Liv, "I've got him, you catch up with everyone…"

She regarded him with a sweet smile as he gently took his son in his arms, thanking Kat. "He only just went to sleep as we arrived," he explained to her as Olivia went to chat to Fin and Garland. "He has at least another hour in him…"

"Maybe it's too much excitement…" Kat offered, watching Trevor smile at his son, lifting him to lay him against his shoulder, rubbing his back, bouncing him slightly.

"Yeah, we don't need anymore excitement," he laughed.

"He's a total dick," Amanda leaned in and said quietly to Trevor.

Trevor chuckled, "That, we can definitely agree on," he replied. She checked on the baby over his shoulder, "Counsellor, you seem to have the magic touch, he's already asleep again," she informed him.

He shifted his son ever-so-gently, cradling him in his arms as the infant stirred slightly but continued to sleep. Kat had made her way to Olivia. "Do you want to hold him again?" he asked Amanda.

"No, no, its Uncle Fin's turn…" Fin pepped up, stepping away from the small group of detectives chatting. Trevor definitely had his reservations about Fin, but never-the-less he was Olivia's friend despite all that had passed between them both.

"Fin, I never saw you as the kind of guy who wants to know about babies…" Amanda jibed her partner.

"Hey now, come on, I'm a father, I have a grandson now, I even babysit!" he turned to Trevor, after gazing at Trevor and Olivia's baby, "how can you not fall in love with this little face?"

"It's hard not to, but maybe I'm a little biased," Trevor replied.

Amanda saw that some food was arriving that they had ordered and went to help Christian bring it in to the squad room and make some space. Trevor was happy that her workmates were making such a big deal of Olivia's moment and it felt genuine and heartfelt and he understood the love that she had for her team. It was like a family, all families had their cracks and imperfections, but he could tell that they genuinely loved Olivia and regardless of how they felt about him, he was content with how they felt about her.

"You know, Langan," Fin began, interrupting his thoughts as he watched Olivia with a smile. She was laughing loudly, slapping Carisi as she always did to the nearest person when she found something to be particularly funny. "I think I owe you an apology."

"For?" he prompted, turning away from Olivia and back to the detective.

"For judging you based on your job."

Trevor shrugged. "I understand that you were looking out for Olivia," he replied, "And I do appreciate that, you've seen her go through it all."

Fin nodded. "I don't want to see her hurt, she doesn't deserve it."

"I agree," Trevor nodded, "but I also understand that there's times where Olivia has needed support and she hasn't been able to find it in some people that she holds in such high esteem. After … him she needed more support than she was afforded." He couldn't say the beast's name either, since Olivia had told him some of the details, his name became unspeakable, fouling the inside of his mouth if he attempted.

"We tried," he said quietly. "We all did. We tried to talk, we tried to assist, if it wasn't Olivia constantly pushing us away, it was Cassidy doing it for her – he wanted to be the only one."

"Great, so he isolated her too, what a great guy," Trevor shook his head and breathed in a deep breath of annoyance. "I guess—what I've noticed from the time that we've spent together, Olivia and I," he added, "is that she pushes people away because she is scared they're going to leave and I know it's not all Elliot's fault for those issues, but he exacerbated it. So by siding with him about me and speaking to him about her, it's only made her feel even more abandoned by the people that she thought cared about her."

Fin had to give Trevor credit for his calm approach, for his non-confrontational way of calling out his behaviour which he had time to reflect on. "I don't want to stand in the way of Olivia healing her relationship with Elliot if that's what she wants," Trevor continued, "I'm always going to support her, but right now I know that he is doing more harm than good and she needs her friends to be there in her corner even if she won't ask that of anyone."

"Okay," Fin replied. He gave a little sigh. "I know it's almost patronizing for me to thank you for being what she needs, but still, thank you. She and I have been friends for so long and I can't deny that I've ever seen her this happy and I can see you've got her back and… I can see the way that she looks at you that you make her happy."

"Thanks," Trevor replied. "To be honest, I am glad we've had this conversation, I wanted to get this out in the open. I know you want what's best for her and that's all I want too. I've known Olivia for as long as you have, maybe not in the same capacity, but I've never wanted anything but good things for her and getting to know her in this … romantic capacity has been possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me, apart from my kids of course," he added.

Fin managed a laugh. "Well, she's happy right? If Elliot is causing problems for her, then Elliot is causing problems for me. I'll tell him to stay away."

"Good, maybe he'll listen to you, because I'm sure he just thinks I'm being jealous."

"You really all good with Elliot and Olivia healing things though?" he asked Trevor with a smile.

Trevor shrugged. "As long as he is respectful, of course, if that's what Olivia wants, then I want her to be happy, but if he's going to be disrespectful and if he's got it in his head that there's some avenue of romance to explore, he's going to need to accept that it's not happening."

"Honestly, Langan, you're a better man than me. I wouldn't be putting up with it if another man was trying to hone in on my girl," he replied.

Trevor managed a smile and they were interrupted by Sonny coming over to them. "Hey, how's my nephew?" he asked. "When's it gonna be Uncle Sonny's turn?" he asked Fin.

Fin laughed and handed the baby over. "Go get some food," Sonny told them, "I made sure Olivia had a burrito…" he told Trevor proudly.

He laughed, "This woman, I have never seen a person love a burrito quite as much as her."

"Me either, although your sister is becoming slightly addicted but I think she's spending too much time with Liv."

He found Olivia sitting it Fin's desk eating her lunch. "Hey baby," he greeted her, resting his hand upon the back of her shoulder as he sat down in a swivel chair. "Happy with your lunch?" he chuckled, leaning over and plucking up a corn chip with some salsa from her plate before plopping it in to his mouth.

"Very, these guys know what their Captain likes…" she smiled. "Go eat something, this might actually be one of those great moments where we get to eat a full meal while it's actually hot."

"Okay…" he agreed. He was about to get up but he grabbed her hand resting on the desktop. "You good?" he checked in with her.

She turned slowly and smiled. "Oh," she cocked her head, regarding him with the sweetest glance that showed her adoration spreading across her face, "I do so love you," she told him.

He chuckled, giving her his best closed mouth smile, trying not to grin. "I love you too…" He murmured reaching over, cupping her cheek in his hand and kissing her lips. "Burrito breath," he winked, getting up out of his chair.

"You guys are so fuckin' cute," Kat chimed in, taking a seat next to Olivia at her desk. Olivia grinned at her as she watched him walk away to grab some food. "Are you really happy, boss?"

"Olivia," Olivia corrected her young detective, "I'm not at work right now," she smiled, "and yes I'm really, really deliriously happy, I may be high on baby fumes or … maybe Trevor, I don't know but… this is the healthiest and happiest place I've been in to date, I think."

"Teddy is so cute, just remember Aunt Kat is the best babysitter, right? I mean, don't even bother with Amanda, she's too busy with Billie and Jessie. Carisi can hone in any time and that just leaves Fin and I… who you gonna trust more?"

Olivia started to laugh as she took another bite. "Okay, okay, you got my vote, you can babysit for Teddy but you know if you're sitting for Teddy, you gotta take care of Noah and Elly too, you think you can handle that?"

"Can I handle that?" she scoffed, "Liv, I was born for this job! Kids love me. It's just that they don't know me well enough yet… but that can be fixed…"

"What's going on?" Trevor asked returning with some soft shell and hard shell tacos.

"Kat is campaigning really hard to babysit not only for Eloise and Noah, but also for Teddy."

"Oh great, when are you available? Wanna come and babysit for them both tomorrow night? We'll keep Teddy, but the other two—we can't seem to give them away," he told her seriously without even cracking a smile. Olivia knew he was kidding, but she they both stared at Kat who sat slack-jawed, shocked by his admission.

"Uh…well-"

"You can't?" he asked, "well that's too bad…"

"Umm maybe I could move something around-"

Olivia couldn't help but to laugh and Trevor followed too. She touched Kat's arm gently, "its okay, he's just messing with you, Kat,"

She clutched her mouth, "Dude you looked so serious, I thought you were trying to get rid of your kids…"

"Oh, no that part is real some days," Olivia said with a laugh, "some days they are vying for our attention so hard that they become absolute monsters. On those days we call Ez and Sonny," she explained.

Over lunch Teddy got passed around until Olivia could tell that he was getting tired and needed to be fed. Trevor was pleased to see that Olivia had no issue feeding him openly in front of her squad, covering herself and giving Teddy some privacy with a white muslin cloth.

He beamed at her from across the room as he watched her sit back in her chair while he chatted to Garland. He saw her eyes getting heavy. He knew he had to get her home so she had time to have some time to express milk and sleep a little before the kids got in and other things had to be done.

He extricated himself from the conversation and made his way over to Olivia who was sitting on her own, others sensing she needed some time with Teddy to settle him. "Hey baby," he greeted her, "how are you doing?"

"Good, we're okay. Are you okay?" she wondered.

"Yeah, but I think we should get going – if Teddy doesn't have a proper sleep he might keep us up all night and you should be able to have a good nap before the kids get home."

She nodded. "Yeah, let me finish up here," she felt Trevor's hands caressing her hair as he looked around the room at Olivia's friends. He was content for her and glad he had managed to smooth things over with Fin.

"Can I pass you Teddy while I adjust my top?" she wondered.

"Of course," he leaned over and waited for her to pass him his son. She organized herself and pulled the muslin cloth away. Trevor rocked his milk-drunk baby until his eyes fell closed. He put him in the capsule.

"Sorry guys," Olivia announced, "we're gonna be pathetic and leave," she told them.

There was a series of disappointed noises coming from the room but everyone understood. "It's not pathetic, Olivia needs to sleep a few hours before the kids get home and she loses her chance," he flashed a smile.

"Can't you do Daddy duty during the night?" Fin barbed at him.

"I can and I do," Trevor replied.

"Trevor is perfect at the nighttime stuff, I can sleep through a hurricane," Olivia added. "He's the perfect person to have a baby with," she looked up at him and grinned. He couldn't help but grin back, loving that they had each other's backs.

"Awww," he chuckled, "thank you, my heart," he put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "That's so sweet."

"Ugh, they're so nauseating, I can barely handle it…" Kat groaned loudly. They laughed.

"I know, its kind of gross, I'm not going to lie," Sonny chimed in.

"This guy…" Trevor shook his head with laughter, pointing at his potential brother-in-law, "this guy cannot talk, he thought it was okay to make out with my little sister in my living room like they were sneaky teenagers…" Sonny's face turned beet red, remembering how embarrassed he was when Trevor walked in on them on the couch.

He shook his head with a smile as everyone except for Amanda laughed at him and poked fun at him. "Are you crazy? It's a wonder Olivia didn't pull her piece out on you," Fin grabbed Sonny by the shoulders and gave him a gentle shake.

"You are lucky you are such a good guy," Trevor laughed, feeling a little bad for embarrassing him in front of everyone. He made his way over and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry," he gave him a little pat on the back, "for calling your ass out," he was still chuckling.

Sonny was good-natured about it. "No, you're right… that was totally out of line."

"It's fine, I'm just messing with you kiddo," he replied.

Trevor waited for Olivia to say her goodbyes to everyone before leaving, feeling happy and content, almost having entirely forgotten Goodwin's visit.

"Remind me," she told Trevor, "I took a bunch of pics with the girls and Teddy, I'll upload them to the work group chat or else Kat will be harassing me every day."

Trevor laughed, "It was actually really nice to see how much of a fuss they all made over you," he remarked, pulling the visor over the capsule as the sun was getting a little warm, not wanting it to shine in to his little boy's eyes. He slipped his hand in to Olivia's as they neared their home.

"It was nice and I got a burrito out of it, win win win, really," she laughed.

"And here I was thinking that the burrito thing was a pregnancy craving," he nudged her gently in the hip.

"I don't think so, I think it's here to stay," she replied. "Oooh," she stopped, "look," she nodded to a fresh flowers stand." Olivia loved flowers and he knew it. She did so much work to keep the flowers that she had been given after Teddy alive and well. She kept a special flower from every bouquet that he'd bought her, drying it out to make a keep sake out of it eventually.

Trevor began to laugh, he loved to see how excited she got over fresh flowers, "you are as subtle as a kick in the crotch," he joked.

The smile dropped from her face and she glared up at him, "I wasn't suggesting you buy me flowers, Trevor, I bought my own flowers for years before you waltzed in to my life and I can continue to buy my own pretty things that make me happy- I don't need a man to-"

"Olivia!" he blinked at her, "I was kidding," he said gently, pulling her slightly aside to the sidewalk to let people past.

"Well it didn't feel like a joke, you were being mean." she dropped her voice and he could tell by the way that she avoided his eyes that she was hurt.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," he said sincerely, "Should I buy you some flowers to make it up to you?" He grinned, trying to rouse a smile from her, hoping that he hadn't put her in an instant bad mood, making her feel bad.

"No, you ruined it." she replied. "Come on, let's go…"

"Noooo," he argued, "Liv, I am really sorry," he apologized again, "please, let me buy you some flowers. I would love to."

She ignored him and continued to walk past the stand, ignoring the sweet smell of all the spring blooms as she passed. He followed her, realizing that he'd ruined the good mood by trying to be funny. He sighed, walking quickly noticing that she had picked up her pace. He tried to grab her hand but she pulled her arm away from him.

"Liv, are you really that mad at me?" he asked her, surprised.

"I'm not mad," she replied. "I just don't really care. I was excited to see the first blooms of spring and you were being a dick. I didn't even want to buy some fucking flowers, I was just excited to see them, you made me feel stupid and … embarrassed."

Trevor thought about his words and wondered how she could have taken embarrassment from his joke. Nevertheless, he murmured an apology as they got closer to the stoop of their apartment block. They greeted the doorman and went upstairs to their apartment.

Olivia waited patiently for Trevor to set Teddy down before she scooped him out of his capsule. "Why don't you just leave him to sleep there? He's peaceful?" Trevor asked gently.

"Because I want to take him upstairs with me," she replied simply, offering no further explanation.

He let her go and decided to give her some space to calm down.

Olivia took Teddy to bed with her, she turned the TV on and dressed down to her maternity bra and some pajama pants and got comfortable laying against the bed head, propped up by pillows with Teddy laying outstretched, his warm little face resting on her chest. She couldn't help but to marvel at him, smiling down at his smooth skin and his thick head of soft, dark hair.

He smelled like baby lotion and had a distinct newborn smell that she didn't remember experiencing with Noah. She knew despite her sleeplessness and her frustrations that came with the nuanced care of an infant, she would never regret it for the tiny little things that brought her the biggest joy.

She loved to watch him yawn and the way that his eyes fought to close when he was tired. She loved to watch Trevor sit in the bath with him, bathing him and doting on him. She loved to spy Noah chatting happily to Teddy when he thought nobody was watching. And Eloise's favourite thing was to lay beside Teddy on the carpet and hold his hand in hers, growing to love her baby brother and constantly asking Olivia to take a photo of them together. It was finally being part of a family, having somewhere to belong and people that needed her and there was no longer any distinguished side of the family – everybody belonged to everybody. They didn't refer to themselves as a blended family anymore, they were just family and she knew Teddy sewed any unstitched pieces together and she was so thankful to have him safe and sound.

She turned something on in the background on the TV and got up to change Teddy's diaper. He was awake when she came back from discarding it. She knew she had probably missed her opportunity to sleep but she didn't mind too much. He had been sleeping for longer blocks during the night and Trevor was good at helping. It had taken some adjustment to figure out which of his cries meant what, but since they had figured out his needs, he was easier to soothe and kept them awake for less time.

As she came back, she lifted him from the middle of the bed and brought him close to her before he started to cry. "My little man…" she soothed him, smoothing his head in the crook of her neck, bouncing him slightly. "Mommy is so happy to have you…" she told him. She placed him back down and got back in to bed sensing that he would comfort feed for awhile and it might give her a little longer to rest.

/

Trevor could hear Olivia singing softly to Teddy. He figured he was awake. He let himself in to their bedroom and smiled at her. Teddy was attached to her breast, his tiny little hand resting on the curve of her flesh. She glanced up at him, still irate.

"Are you guys okay in here? Do you want anything?" he asked.

"We're fine. We're just having quiet time," she replied, glancing back at the TV, holding her son against her.

"Do you want me to take him downstairs after he feeds so you can have a nap?" he wondered.

"He's not really feeding," Olivia replied, glancing down, "he's just dicking around."

Trevor laughed. "I can take him if you like, there's some expressed milk I can use if he actually wants to eat."

"Its alright, he's kind of lovely to have on me like this…" she answered him, not taking her eyes off him. Trevor watched her watching their son and smiled.

"Olivia, can I ask something?" he began, not wanting to upset her, but wanting to get to the bottom of her upset from earlier.

"Go ahead," she didn't want to fight with him anymore and after her time spent with Teddy she realized that she had probably overreacted.

"You said I embarrassed you before and I don't understand how… I'm trying to understand why what I said to you could have made you feel like that."

She sighed, "Don't worry about it."

"No," he protested, "I do worry about it. I don't ever want to make you feel like that."

Olivia pushed her hair out of the way – it had slipped out of her top knot. "I don't like you thinking that financially I can't do things, or that I expect you to buy me stuff, it implies that I think I deserve it or am entitled to it and I am not an entitled person and I don't expect anything from you in the form of gifts or gestures, Trevor and I found it embarrassing that you would think that's what I was getting at."

He frowned, "I get it, and I'm sorry. I really was just trying to be funny but I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or embarrass you, baby, that's not how I would ever want to make you feel."

"I know," she murmured. "It just brings up weird feelings and then it goes in to a snowball, like –" she lifted her hand to show him her Cartier ring. "I start feeling embarrassed about this," she supported Teddy again before lifting her left hand, "and how exorbitant this must have been…"

"I hate that I made you feel like that. I want you to have all of those things and I want it for you because you are right you have never been entitled. You have never asked for anything but even if you did, that would be okay too. What I brought to this relationship is ours and if by some crazy stretch of fate and we split up, we could reevaluate that but I would never ever begrudge anything you want to do financially with money that we've put together to create our life and our family and to bless others that we love and care about if that's what we want to do."

Olivia nodded. "I know that, but I'm not staking claim on your money, Trevor, I had nothing to do with it, far be it for me to spend it."

"Well, that's not true. You are the mother of my children, you take care of all those things that I never think to and at the end of next week I'm back at work and you're here with Teddy taking care of him, taking care of the kids—you are contributing far more than you think."

He leaned over and planted a kiss on her forehead. "I love you and I am so sorry for hurting your feelings and I love to see how excited you get over flowers and pretty things, sweetheart, so please never stop finding that joy in stuff, that's what makes you so wonderful."

Olivia finally returned a small smile. "I love you too," she responded. "I was thinking just before of how lucky I am to have this family and this little guy." Trevor glanced down at his son who had all but fallen asleep.

"Yeah?"

She smiled at him. "I love him, I just love him, how could I not? Look at him…"

Trevor chuckled, "he is incredibly sweet and so, so chill. I know we struggled at first, but he is so chilled out. I know it could change with any growth spurt, but I am choosing to believe he'll always be a sweet, sweet, chill little man."

Olivia laughed and allowed Trevor to snuggle in close. She rested her head on his shoulder as she clipped up her maternity bra and returned her son to her chest, rubbing his back in slow circles. "Oh," she began, "I forgot to tell you, shit, speaking of mother of the year," she joked. "I heard Noah talking to Teddy last night when I put him down for a rest."

"Yeah?" Trevor pressed.

"Yeah he was chatting about school and what he is learning and he said that he doesn't like the kids." She pouted. "I wish I knew what was going on with him, he really isn't very social, is he?"

"No, but that's okay—maybe he just likes his own company and when you are six, I imagine that it's not really encouraged."

"I just worry… I don't want him to miss out on social skills and I wonder if he's okay," she told him. "I might come with you to drop off tomorrow and have a chat with his teacher."

"Okay," Trevor said simply, "I'm sure its fine Liv, he talked to the psychologist and she said he was fine, there were no outstanding social development issues, he is not on the spectrum, he is fine, honey, maybe the kids at school are shitty, maybe Noah just likes to read his books and play with his own toys."

She nodded. "I've just been really scared since all that stuff happened earlier this year with school."

"I know, but's fine. We can try to talk to him at dinner and maybe you can come to pick up if you're feeling up to it and we can see Noah's teacher to let her know you'd like to talk."

"Okay." Olivia agreed. "It just breaks my heart when he says things like he can't wait for Teddy to grow up so he can have a best friend."

Trevor smiled, "I heard him say that the first night I heard him talking to Teddy, it does make me a bit sad but he did say that Elly was his best friend but sometimes she was annoying cos she was a girl."

Olivia laughed. "I love that they get along though, they're as thick as thieves lately, getting up to all sorts of mischief."

"We've got one instigator and the other one just loves to take things one step further and the other one doesn't know what to do when it's out of control," Trevor chuckled.

Olivia sighed and let her eyes close as they sat in silence for a short while. She felt Trevor's hand reaching for Teddy, his hand resting upon her chest. She opened her eyes and watched Teddy wrap his tiny finger around Trevor's pointer and then let them fall shut again.

"Love, are you asleep?" he enquired feeling her body get a little heavier beside him.

"No… but I'm probably close."

She felt him lifting Teddy from her chest. "Lay down properly you're going to get a sore neck," he told her. "I'm going to take Teddy downstairs and I'll wake you if you want to come and see Mrs. Evans for pick up."

"Okay," Olivia agreed. She eased down beneath the covers and got comfortable on her pillow. "Do that."

"Baby?" she piped up as he got up from beside her.

"Yeah? What's up?" he wondered if she needed anything.

"When are you gonna marry me?" she asked in a soft, vulnerable tone that made him grin.

He came to her side of the bed and sat on the edge. "I plan on having a lot of sex with my wife on our honeymoon," he told her with a little smile, "so, you have to be properly healed and we have to be comfortable leaving Teddy with Erika and Sonny or my Mom for the night."

"Soon though, right?" she asked him.

"Yeah…as soon as it's safe for Teddy to fly and as soon as we can coordinate the trip with everyone else…"

"Okay," she smiled wearily back. "Just making sure the plans haven't changed."

"No, the urge just keeps getting stronger," he replied. "Love you and get some rest."

/

"What are we doing, Daddy?" Eloise asked as she skipped along the sidewalk, keeping up with her Dad. "Hold on a second," he told her, pulling her aside. He kept an eye on her as he adjusted Teddy in the baby wrap that he and Olivia much preferred using over a pram.

"We're going to buy Mommy some flowers," he told her with a smile. "That's why I need my big girl with me to help me pick them out for her." He tucked Teddy's face in to the wrap and made sure it was entirely secure before he grabbed Elly's hand again and continued along the sidewalk until they reached the flower stand that he had passed with Olivia earlier.

"Daddy what time will Noah be home?" Eloise asked.

"In a little while," he replied, "we're gonna go pick him up from school soon after we get home," he added.

"Okay, stay close to Daddy," he reminded her as he let go of her hand. "You can hold on to my pants if you like," he told her, knowing sometimes she got nervous when the streets were crowded.

He felt her arm linking around his thigh as he greeted the older lady who was running the flower stall. She smiled at him, noticing the infant's head peaking out of the sling. "Oh, that's so sweet, are you babysitting the kids and giving Mommy some time out?" she asked, smiling and waving at Eloise who buried her face in to Trevor's leg.

Trevor smiled back, "Nah, not babysitting, just being a Dad," he hated it when it was considered something special for doing his part in parenting their kids.

"Hello sweetheart, you are just so cute!" she engaged Eloise who got shy. "are we buying some pretty flowers today?"

Eloise nodded. Trevor laughed, "any other time, we can't get her to close her mouth," he rested his hand on his daughter's head, smoothing her hair. "Honey, which bunch of flowers should we get Mommy?" he asked her.

"I can't see, Daddy…" she murmured quietly that he could barely hear. He reached down adjusting Teddy and balancing Eloise on her hip. "Careful of your brother, we don't want to squish him."

Eloise checked on Teddy and put her arms around her Dad's neck. "I won't squish you Teddy!" she told her sleeping brother.

"They are so sweet," the lady remarked.

"Thanks," Trevor replied, planting a kiss on his daughter's temple, "I'm a lucky Dad," He confirmed before turning to his daughter, "Okay baby, which flowers? You choose."

"Which ones does Mommy like?" she asked shyly as if it was taking some great consideration.

"Mommy likes all of the colourful ones," Trevor informed her, "but I'm sure she will love whichever ones we choose, so you pick the ones that you think she will like."

"Mmmmm," Eloise looked around, she found the biggest bunch, "those ones Daddy, they look so big and so pretty," she announced.

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "They're so big, are you gonna help Daddy carry them back home?" he asked her.

Eloise nodded emphatically. "I can carry them, Daddy, you can carry Teddy."

Trevor and the stall holder shared a chuckle. "Okay you got it," he told her, "Could we have this bouquet?" he pointed to the one that Eloise had chosen.

The stall holder took the flowers and wrapped them and put them in a bag so they wouldn't leak over Eloise or poke her too much. Trevor set his daughter down as the lady came around and handed them to her carefully.

"Thank you very much," Trevor said gratefully. "You okay with that, Eloise?" You think you can carry that all the way home?"

"Yes!" she said decisively, proud of her choice

"Say thank you to the lovely lady that helped you with the flowers, please," he prompted her.

"Thank youuuu," Eloise replied, not looking up, mesmerized by the flowers. Trevor paid and thanked the her again and they made their way back to the apartment a little slower with Eloise holding the big bouquet, barely able to see over the top of it. He asked to take it back from her but she was adamant that she wanted to hold them.

/

Olivia woke up to an empty house and was just about to text Trevor when she heard the front door open. She figured he just took the kids for a walk if Teddy was crying or hard to settle.

She was snacking on some crackers with a little soft cheese, forgetting just how much she had missed it while she was pregnant.

"You okay with that, honey or would you like some help?" she heard Trevor ask Eloise.

"I got it, Daddy," she said, independence was her new thing, she wanted to do more on her own and insisted on doing it without help. Sometimes it made simple tasks take a whole lot longer, but she knew it was important to give Eloise the time to do things. Olivia couldn't help but to grin at Trevor guiding their daughter in to the kitchen and dining area. She was holding a bunch of flowers so huge that it obstructed her vision so that she was barely able to walk in a straight line.

"Hiiii, Mommy, you're awake!" Trevor greeted her, "and you're dressed and ready to come and get Noah from school."

"Mommy!" Eloise exclaimed excitedly, "Mommy look we buyed you some flowers!"

Trevor grinned at, noticing Olivia's big smile. "It's bought, Elly, we bought Mommy some flowers."

"You didn't have to," she told Trevor in a small voice, but she knew he had realized that his silly comment from earlier really had hurt her.

"We wanted to brighten up your day and we know how much flowers bring Mommy joy, don't we Elly?"

"Uhuh," she agreed, still not able to see Olivia, standing dumbly with the bouquet. Olivia came toward her and took them from her. "Thank you Elly, this is so special to Mommy, they are so beautiful." She finally saw her face and was touched by how sweet and excited she was to see Olivia's reaction. She stepped toward Trevor, minding Teddy, "Thanks Daddy, I love them."

"Elly, do you want to come with me and we can put them in a vase?" she asked her daughter.

Elly nodded happily.

"I'm just gonna go and see if Teddy needs a new diaper change while you guys do that and then we should go."

/

Olivia had Teddy swaddled close to her chest in his sling, pulled tightly in, supporting his head. They stood at the back of the class along with a few other parents waiting for the last few minutes before school was let out for the day.

Eloise began to talk a little loudly as the teacher was finishing up reading a story to the class.

"Elly," Trevor warned her in a whisper, "you need to close your mouth or else we'll have to wait outside."

She closed her mouth and let go of her father's hand. Olivia winced and glanced at Trevor, nudging him and nodding at Teddy. He had vomited a little bit of milk on Olivia's shirt. He quickly reached in to her hand bag and pulled out some wipes.

"Elly!" Olivia hissed.

She had crept closer to the class who were sitting on the floor paying attention to the story. She moved in close and sat down on the carpet. Trevor went to grab her but the teacher looked up and smiled and shook her head. "She's fine," she assured him as she turned the page.

Eloise found Noah and sat beside him with her legs folded just as he was. Olivia couldn't believe the sweetness of her son as he reached over and took his sisters hand. "Oh my gosh…" she muttered, finished cleaning up the milk vomit.

She and Trevor exclaimed smiles. He could see she was a little emotional over the sweet brother-sister moment that she would have done anything to have had as a child. Trevor put an arm around her and drew her in, letting his hand rest at her hip. He kissed her temple. She rested her head upon his upper arm and felt content.

/

The story finished up as more parents arrived to pick up their children.

Noah came running over with Eloise not far behind. He hugged Trevor and Olivia leaned over to kiss her son hello. "Mommy, you came with Daddy today!" he exclaimed.

"I did, I thought it might be nice if we all came to get you," she told him. "Thank you for being so nice to your sister, that was so kind of you to sit with her."

Noah smiled and shrugged. "Can we go home?" he asked.

"Sure, but why don't you take Elly and show her your classroom, I want to have a chat to Mrs. Evans for a minute."

He took Elly's hand and showed her around the room while Olivia and Trevor waited patiently to speak to Noah's teacher.

"Ohhh, you must be Noah's Mom and Dad," a lady whom Olivia had never seen orbited around them. She was tall; taller than Olivia and but roughly the same build. Her blond hair was tied back in a top knot and she looked as tired as Liv felt. "My name is Merrin, I'm Harry's Mom."

"Trevor," Trevor stuck his hand out to shake hers, he let go and motioned to Olivia. "This is Olivia, and this…" he placed his hand on his son's head, stroking his hair softly, "is Teddy,"

"Hi," Olivia flashed the woman a smile.

"Oh, that's why we haven't met, you've been busy with an infant," she remarked. "Listen, I really wanted to apologize for what happened with Harry's party."

"Harry's party?" Olivia rose an eyebrow. She quickly racked her brain trying to remember if Noah had been to another child's birthday party. She knew Trevor would have had a better recollection of Noah's more recent activities.

"Oh…" her voice trailed off, "you don't know?"

"Wait, know what?" Trevor asked, having a sinking feeling that he was going to hear something he didn't like. He couldn't remember Noah going to any party and could not remember meeting this parent, not once.

"Oh jeez, I am so sorry to tell you this and please believe me when I say that I feel like the worst mother ever, but Harry had a birthday party and invited the class – well, I assumed it was the entire class but I found out that Noah had been excluded and I felt terrible about it and have wanted to speak to you both about it."

"Oh right," Olivia replied a little stiffly, looking over at Noah who was pointing out a drawing to Elly that he had clearly done. She glanced at Trevor, "did you know that?"

He shook his head, feeling a little heartbroken for his son. "I didn't know, no, no one told us. Noah didn't tell us either."

"I was only alerted to it because I met Noah when I came for school pick up and Harry said he and Noah weren't friends and believe me, I had strong words for my child that day."

"Its okay," Olivia said calmly despite feeling sick in her stomach. "It's not your fault, sometimes kids just don't get along."

"I'm so sorry that Noah didn't tell you, I know he was upset and for good reason. I made Harry apologize to him."

"Wait, did you gift Noah with a party favour bag?" Olivia wondered, something clicking in to place.

Merrin nodded. "Yeah, I made my son apologize and give Noah a party favour and tell him that he was always going to be welcome to anything we host in the future."

"Okay yeah, I questioned Noah about where it came from," she tried not to sigh too heavily but she knew that she had to have another talk with her son. "Really, it's alright."

Olivia couldn't help but to notice Trevor hadn't said a lot. "Noah doesn't make friends easily but he is really a little sweet heart, he just likes to do his own thing sometimes, I guess."

"I can tell he is a sweet boy," Merrin said, "I can see just how much he loves his little sister and he was incredibly polite about the whole thing."

"That's our Noah," Trevor replied, batting away the irritation he felt on behalf of his child.

"Will I be seeing you both more?" she wondered.

"We get to pick up when we can, Noah's auntie or his babysitter picks up if we are busy with work."

"Oh, right," she smiled. "Are you off for awhile with your little one?" she asked curiously. Olivia just wanted to leave to be with her son and speak to his teacher.

"Yeah, at least a couple of months, I hope, we'll see," she smiled.

"What do you guys do?" she asked.

"Excuse me a second, I've been summoned," he paused to kiss Liv's temple again. Trevor stepped away for a second after being waved over to Noah. Olivia couldn't help but watch Merrin's eyes linger over his affectionate gesture.

"I'm Police Captain of NYPD's Special Victim's Unit," she replied, "And Trevor is the Assistant District Attorney for Manhattan."

"Wow, power couple!" she exclaimed, "Oh, Olivia, you must see some awful things," she murmured. It was people's knee-jerk reaction every single time she told them what she did. She was used to it.

"My job isn't a fun one but it's an important one. It's very rewarding but it can be very hard. What about you, what do you do?" she knew that she should probably lead by example. She wasn't ever looking to join any mothers groups, but maybe her lack of social interactions were rubbing off on to her son. She tried her best to engage the woman rather than trying to carefully extricate herself from the conversation.

The woman smiled a little self-consciously. "I don't do anything important like you guys, I just work admin around school hours."

Olivia cocked her head, "I'm sure you're doing an important job too regardless of how you might feel about it," she smiled, feeling a little softer.

"It seems like Trevor's a good Dad," she nodded toward Trevor cuddling Noah letting out a peel of laughter at something he said. He gathered Eloise too, kissing both of their cheeks in a sloppy, embarrassing away that left both kids giggling and telling him to stop.

"Yeah," Olivia smiled fondly, "he's the best. I'm very lucky."

"I'm sure he's lucky too!" Merrin replied. A little boy approached her and Olivia figured it was the darling cherub that had knowingly excluded her son from his party. He was blonde and blue eyed just like his mother. She greeted him.

"Harry, this is Noah's Mom, Mrs' Benson –say hello please."

"Hello Mrs. Benson," he said politely looking up at Liv.

She couldn't help but smile. "Hi Harry, how are you?"

"I'm good," he replied, "Mommy, can we go home?"

"Yeah, we better get going. Olivia, I'd really love to organize a play date with Noah and Harry when you have some time if that sounds okay."

"Sure, I'll have a chat to Noah about it. Bye Harry," she waved at the little boy. "Lovely to meet you, Merrin…"

/

"What's troubling you?" Mrs. Evan's Noah's class teacher asked Olivia.

All of the parents and teachers were gone and Olivia and Trevor sat upon a small desk each across from the teacher who did the same. "Well firstly, I'm sorry to hold you up, we can make an appointment if that's easier—" Olivia began.

She glanced over at Noah and Eloise playing with blocks in the corner.

"No, no, it's fine I have some time," she smiled kindly. Trevor already liked the young teacher a lot better than his last. She was always sweet to Noah and she had a low tolerance for any bullying in her class and that was important to him.

"I'm just concerned about Noah, intellectually he's wonderful," Olivia gushed, "his reading is great, he loves to read to our daughter," she pointed out, "but I just get the sense that socially he is having trouble making or keeping friends."

The teacher glanced over at Noah to make sure that he wasn't in earshot. She smiled reassuringly. "I don't think its anything you need to be concerned about, Mrs. Benson," she said.

"Please, call me Olivia."

"With all due respect, we've heard him discussing with our infant son that he doesn't have any friends and that his sister is his best friend and just now Harry's Mom told Olivia that there was a birthday party where the whole class was invited except for Noah and Noah didn't tell us… why is our son being singled out?"

Olivia was thankful to have Trevor to back her up. "We can't help to be concerned."

"Firstly, I was only mildly aware about the birthday party," she told them honestly, "I assumed you were told about it, Noah was a little deflated at the time it happened and we discourage kids giving out invites unless its to all class members otherwise we ask parents to organise it outside of school. This was an oversight from Harry's Mom but I'm sorry that you weren't told. I shouldn't have assumed."

"It's not your fault," Olivia said to her, "I just want to know why Noah isn't included..."

"Do you guys read a lot with Noah?" Mrs. Evans asked them.

"I do," Trevor said, "Liv does bed time stories most of the time but Noah and I read a lot together. I read him adventure and fantasy novels."

The teacher smiled. "Noah loves reading. Sometimes I have to peel him away from the book corner and I think most of the time he prefers to be reading than spending time with his peers and the reason I say not to worry is because I believe that when he is comfortable, he will start spending more time with his classmates."

"Should we read less with him?" Trevor asked, frowning, thinking he was doing the right thing.

"No, No, Mr. Langan, that's not what I'm saying."

"I just don't want my son to be left out, I don't want him to feel like he doesn't have any friends or to be socially stunted. It breaks my heart to think of how he felt when those birthday invites were going out. I know my kid is such a sweet soul, so I can't understand why they don't want to be friends with him."

Trevor could tell that Olivia was almost in tears over the story that the other mother had told her.

"I understand, Olivia," the teacher replied. "Maybe you can look at organizing a play date outside of school one-on-one?" she suggested, "sometimes alliances form in classrooms and kids don't step out of their comfort zone once they've made friends so when it comes to a one-on-one play date, they are more likely to make connections."

"Okay." Olivia thought about the mother that offered a playdate with the son who had excluded Noah and considered that it may be a good place to start.

"If you thought anything was wrong with him, you'd let us know?" she asked quietly.

"Absolutely, but you are right, Noah is such a sweet, sensitive little boy, he's the first to check in on anyone if they are hurt or upset, he plays games fairly, maybe too much so because I have seen him allow other kids to win games just so its fair," she smiled. "He is really empathetic and that's rare in a 6-year-old."

Trevor reached over for Olivia's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Told you, love."

Olivia sighed. "Can you please just monitor the situation? Let me know if anything happens, good or bad?" she implored the teacher.

"Of course. You know, I'm no psychologist or counsellor, but I did consider at one stage that his lack of interest in his class mates could be a little bit of anxiety around the problems that he had when he was back in Mrs. Newcom's class.

"Right…" Trevor nodded slowly, "that could actually be the case. That was ongoing for far too long before we even found out about the problems he had with the other students."

"Maybe I'll take Noah for another session with the therapist," Olivia thought out loud. When the teacher stared at her quizzically, she realized she had no idea. "Our daughter's mother passed away and we needed help allowing her to process that and it opened up the idea of mortality to Noah so we took him to a few sessions too, just to help him understand and process for his sister."

"Wow, I'm sorry to hear that."

Trevor shrugged it off, "Thank you, but its fine, we just need to make sure the kids are okay, that's our priority so if it means Noah needs to speak with someone a little longer, that's what we will do – but in the meantime, maybe Liv or I could check in with you in a few weeks."

"Absolutely," the teacher agreed.

"Great… I'll leave you guys with it, I'll go make sure the kids pack up their mess," he smiled.

"Thank you so much for your time," Olivia got up, realizing Teddy was awake. "I appreciate it and thank you for looking out for Noah."

"You're more than welcome, I love having Noah in my class, he is one of the easiest kids I've had to date," she smiled. "Is he happy about his new brother?"

Olivia gave a little laugh as she popped Teddy's head out of the wrap before he began to cry.

"Yeah, I think so, it was a bit touch and go for awhile but he loves to chatter away to him when he thinks we're not around, he can't wait for him to get a little older so they can play together, so now he says he is just enduring his sister," she chuckled.

"Mommy!" Noah raced up, "Daddy said we can get a special treat for dinner!" he informed her.

Olivia laughed, "Daddy is a pushover," she winked as Trevor made his way back over, picking up Eloise.

"Thanks for packing up, guys, that was a huge help," Mrs. Evan's thanked the kids. "Enjoy your treats for dinner, I will be seeing you on Monday morning," she told Noah.

"Yeah!" Noah grinned at his teacher. Mrs. Evan's held up her hand and Noah knew straight away to oblige her with a hand slap. "I had a good day today Mrs. Evans," he told her kindly.

She smiled at him, "I'm so glad to hear that, Noah. What did you like best about today?" she wondered out loud.

"Mmm we wrote a story and we got to practice our big words and then I loved the book you read just before."

Olivia grinned at him. "Sounds like a solid day, babe!" she agreed.

"Thanks Mrs. Evans," Trevor said to the teacher, "Come on guys, we better get home before Teddy gets cranky for dinner, see you Monday!"

The teacher waved at them and watched them leave.

/

"Do you feel any better about what Noah's teacher said?" Trevor asked Olivia after dinner.

"A little bit," she replied, "I'm relieved to know that socially he's okay, I mean I guess I knew that, he has no problem with other children at the park or with Elly, it's not like he misses social cues, from what his teacher said, it seems the opposite so that's relieving."

Trevor understood, for awhile he had been worried too. "lets try not to put any milestones on Noah," he suggested, "we shouldn't get caught up in what text book development says with any of the kids, they will do what they do at whatever timeline is right for them," he told her.

"I know, it's just hard not to worry…."

"But I'm glad you feel better," Trevor smiled at her, kissing her cheek.

"Me too… and the kids are angels tonight," she chuckled. The kids were in the next room in a playroom that they organized in the new house that was close enough for them to keep an eye on and listen out for any mischief.

"Mommy and Daddy time is nice too," he remarked.

Olivia grinned at him. "It's actually been a really peaceful night…" she got herself in a more comfortable position on the circular couch which she had all but claimed and never sat anywhere else. Trevor joined her and gave her a second to scoot over. "And you really thought this couch was a bad idea…" she remarked with a chuckle.

"I know, I'm man enough to admit that I was wrong," he laughed. He climbed over her and watched her wriggle down until she was laying beneath him. She circled her arms around his neck, enjoying their intimate closeness. It had been hard having any one-on-one romantic time since Teddy was born. Not only had they both been so exhausted, but he was careful to not bother her when she was still recovering from her c-section.

"Is this okay?" he asked, concerned that he was over-stepping, or even hurting her.

"Of course it's okay," she told him, her eyes searching his. "I missed this, this kind of … closeness between us," she added.

"Me too," he replied. He felt her fingers drawing up his nape til they got lost in his thick dark hair. It felt nice. "I know we still can't sleep together yet, but I'm counting the hours until you'll feel comfortable enough to go there with me."

"A few more weeks maybe," she told him.

"I don't mean when you're medically able, I mean when you are comfortable," he replied stroking her hair.

"Why are you so fucking perfect?" she asked him with a little laugh, her eyes surveying his beautiful face. "Everything you say and do… it's perfect."

Trevor chuckled. "You are pretty perfect yourself, my Olivia," he informed her. "Look at us with our perfect kids, our perfect selves… our perfect lives…" he laughed in spite of himself.

"Yeah let's not tempt things," she told him. He said nothing, losing his eyes within hers. He leaned forward and kissed her, catching the bottom of her lip within his. It was just baby kisses, soft and short at first. She felt his hand slipping beneath her scalp, cradling her crown in his palm as he brought her forward just slightly to meet her lips.

"Mmmm," Olivia moaned softly, parting her mouth slightly, inviting his tongue inside. She couldn't help but to push up against his hard, strong body that hovered over hers. He couldn't hold it back anymore, he put some passion in to the way that he kissed her, guiding her mouth open more which was more than welcoming.

She slipped her hands to his shoulders and kissed him back eagerly; softly at first but matched his passion as she sank further in to the couch. She loved Trevor with the depth of her soul and understood just how unconditional he felt for her – his love was so unselfish and he showed her every day in ways that sometimes she didn't pay attention to, but when she took stock, she became overwhelmed by the backbone that he provided their family with.

He cupped her face in his hands and enjoyed the taste of her mouth. He felt Liv, sinking down further and further. Her arms slid around to his back, her fingertips biting in to his skin.

Trevor's hands fell from Olivia's cheeks to her neck, grazing her throat with his thumb as she tilted her head back to meet his rhythmic kisses. His touch caused chills to shiver her body with pleasure.

Olivia felt his teeth sinking in to her lower lip, pulling slightly away from her mouth with a throaty chuckle which was a bit of a turn on. He released her and went back to pressing hard against her mouth again with his moist lips. Her tongue pushed back against his. She sighed, breathless but full of need for him, she wanted to slide her hands beneath his shirt and look for a way in to his pants, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his fly to take care of him.

Trevor felt similarly – he was on the cusp of wanting to take her so badly that he could barely stand it and the frustration of knowing that he couldn't express himself the way that he wanted for at least a few more weeks.

He broke away before his erection got any bigger. "Sorry," he apologized. He planted a few short, brief kisses over her face, on her jaw, her cheek, her forehead before he met with her lips again.

Olivia realized that there were two sets of eyes watching them from the entryway. Upon noticing they were there, Noah bolted but Eloise began to laugh hysterically.

"Little eyes," Olivia muttered.

Trevor laughed and collapsed down beside her, breathless. "What are you doing spying on us?" he asked good-naturedly.

Eloise was delighted to have found them kissing. "I saw youuuuuu!" she hopped from one foot to the other, laughing, "You were KISSIIIIIING!"

"Yes, we were kissing, you saw," Olivia confirmed for her, a little laugh reaching the air, finding Eloise's glee a little funny. "Where did Noah go?" she asked.

"Noah too?" Trevor groaned.

"Noah said its GROSS!"

"Come here you little monster!" Olivia commanded, sitting up, fixing her hair. "Come over here with Mommy."

Bursting in to giggles that melted her heart, Eloise ran over to them, bouncing up on the other side of Olivia. "Sometimes Daddies and Mommies kiss, it means we love each other," she told her, stroking the child's brunette curls.

"Noah!" Trevor called, "come in here please…"

He was about to call again when Noah dragged his feet in to the living room. "What are you up to, buddy?" Trevor asked him.

"Just playing with my Skylanders," he replied with a shrug.

"Did you see Mommy and I kissing too?"

"No," he replied quickly shaking his head, but both Olivia and Trevor noticed his cheeks flushing.

"You did so see Mommy and Daddy kissing!" Eloise retorted, "you said, 'Ellllyyyy Mommy and Daddy are kissing all grossssss'" Olivia had to hide a smile.

"Why don't you come and have a cuddle with Daddy, Elly and I…" she suggested.

"No thank you, I want to play with my skylanders," he replied with another shrug holding one of his favourite Skylanders in hand, pretending it was the most interesting thing.

"Noah, its okay that you saw us kissing," Trevor decided to be direct, "it's a normal thing that Mommies and Daddies do sometimes."

"I know that," he answered.

"So come on, come and have a cuddle, your Skylanders aren't going anywhere," he urged him.

Noah reluctantly came around to Trevor's side of the couch and climbed over him so he could settle between both of his parents.

"What's wrong, honey?" Olivia pressed, turning to him, ignoring Eloise climbing over her to get to the middle of them.

"Nothing," he snapped, grumpily—his eyebrows fused together with annoyance.

"That's not true, I can tell you're angry about something, Daddy and I want to know why you're so upset. Are you upset because you saw us kissing?" she asked.

"I don't want you to have another baby!" he exclaimed finally with frustration.

"What?" Trevor laughed, "what do you mean? Mom and I aren't having another baby!"

"That's what happens when Moms and Dads kiss too much," he folded his arms and glowered at Trevor.

"Ah," Olivia tried very hard not to smirk.

"Oooooh, are we getting another baby?" Eloise asked almost excitedly, "I like babies, how many can we have, Daddy?"

"No more babies!" he said firmly, "we are all still adjusting with Teddy and Mommy and Daddy have our hands full with you guys."

"Maybe," Olivia began, "we talk more about where babies come from, what do you think?" she glanced at Trevor who's eyes widened and he shook his head, not ready to have that discussion.

"I already know," Noah shrugged.

"Wait, what?" Olivia was shocked and if she was honest, a little sad. Despite some slight discomfort, she was the one who wanted to give the facts of life to her son. She sat up, "who told you where babies come from?"

"Kids at school," he replied nonchalantly.

"Right, okay. Do you have any questions you want to ask?" she questioned her son directly. He looked at her and shook his head and made a face. "No, gross."

Trevor tried not to find it funny.

"Okay, well, if you have any questions you are welcome to ask Dad or me," she finished, feeling a little part of her son had grown up without her help and she felt hollow for it.

Noah nodded and changed the subject quickly. "Daddy are we going to go to my tee-ball game tomorrow?" he asked him.

"Of course and guess what? Mommy and Elly are going to come too and we'll bring Teddy so that you can introduce him to your teammates if you like."

Noah shrugged, "we don't have to bring Teddy, what if he gets too hot or if he poops his pants, I don't want him to get embarrassed."

Olivia smirked. "I think I can handle it if Teddy poops his diaper and if it gets too hot, honey, we can take some clothes off of him."

"Do you not want Mom to come and bring Teddy?" Trevor asked. "Because Tee-ball can be just your thing with one of us if you like, but we just all enjoy cheering you on, but some things are allowed to be just for you."

Olivia appreciated Trevor giving her son the right to decide how he wanted his activity to go; whether it would be something he would share with others or just keep as a one-on-one thing.

"No, I do want Teddy to watch me play so he can learn how to play when he gets big and then we can play together but he is so little I don't want him to get hurt or to get scared by lots of people."

"Awwww buddy, you are such a sweet kid!" Trevor remarked, grinning at his son, putting an arm around him and giving him a squeeze, kissing his cheek. "Let Mom and I worry about Teddy, you worry about your game."

"Okay," Noah agreed.

"Right, now! Family cuddle before bed time," Olivia commanded. She caught Trevor's eye and smiled. She was still reeling from Noah getting his sex ed from someone at school and was irate with it, but she knew Trevor would make her feel better about it.

Both she and Trevor encased the children in their arms, giving them a squeeze until they giggled and protested. Feeling content, Trevor sat up, releasing the kids. "Okay, come on, kiddos, give Mommy a kiss, its time for bed."

"Mommy are you gonna tuck us in too?" Eloise asked.

"Mommy is going to check on Teddy and I'll tuck you both in tonight," Trevor replied. Olivia regarded Trevor with a grateful smile. She gave each of the children a hug and a kiss and let Trevor pick them up one by one under each arm, zooming them off to their bedrooms.

She checked on Teddy in his little portable crib in the corner of the living room. He was still asleep but she knew he would be awake soon for a feed.

/

"Noah, I just want to talk about something," Trevor began. "You told Mommy that you discussed where babies come from at school, do you wanna talk about that with me?" He had sensed Olivia's upset and wanted to get to the bottom of what he was told.

Noah pulled his covers up as Trevor handed him his favourite toy to cuddle.

He shrugged as Trevor took a seat on the edge of the bed. "What did your friend tell you about how babies are made?" he wondered.

"He said that when Mommies and Daddies kiss a lot then it makes a baby fairy come out of the sky and it leaves Mommy a drink and and then the Mommy drinks it and she has a baby in her tummy."

"Ah, right…" Trevor nodded, "the baby drink, I see. That's why you didn't like Mom and Dad kissing but guess what Noah?" he asked his son rhetorically, "I looooooveeeeeeeeeeee Mommy more than the world and I love you guys the same. I will never stop kissing Mom and its normal and we'll try not to embarrass you, but it doesn't mean we're having another baby, I promise."

Noah giggled. "I love Teddy but I don't want another baby yet."

Trevor chuckled, "So maybe later when Teddy is a bit older, you'd like another baby sibling?"

Noah shrugged, "Maybe Elly will need a sister so she has a best friend too."

"You know, bud, just because Elly is a girl it doesn't mean she can't be your best friend. My sister is my best friend and she's a girl and she's a lot younger than I am. In fact, when Erika was a baby, I was about 11 years old."

"Oh,"

"Yeah… and it took some time for us to become close friends and sometimes she used to annoy the crap out of me and would embarrass me with my friends, take my stuff, get me in to trouble. But I always loved her so much and I protected her from kids at school and sometimes when my Dad wasn't being very kind to us, I protected her from him too, being a big brother is such a big job and I am so proud of you for being such a good brother to both Elly and Teddy, but Elly can be your best friend, Noah, there's no shame or embarrassment in that. You guys have so much fun together."

"Okay Daddy."

"You like having Elly around, don't you?"

He nodded, "I love Elly, I love when she plays my Skylanders with me but sometimes she doesn't follow the rules, but I let her do what she wants because its nice to do that."

Trevor smiled. "Right, but sometimes she should play your way too, sometimes you might have to remind her of that in a nice way." He sighed, "Well bud, I just wanted to say how much I love you and how proud I am that you are such a good brother. Mom and I are both so happy about that."

Noah smiled back at Trevor. He said goodnight and gave Noah a hug and a kiss on the forehead and tucked him in. "Sweet dreams, bud, I love you." he got up and turned the night light on and his door ajar.

"Love you too," Noah replied.

/

"Don't forget the pics in the group chat!" Olivia laughed at the text from Kat. Another one came through immediately, "Ayanna Bell asked if you could post them to the SVU/OC chat? She wants to see Teddy too but if you're worried about Elliot, I can just send them to her privately."

There was a tiny part of Olivia that was disappointed that she didn't feel like Elliot could have an active role in her life anymore but still, she didn't want to be totally cruel to him. She opened up the group chat that they had used when both squads shared a case.

Hi everyone, Trev and I visited with SVU today with our not-so-new arrival. I would have been in earlier but I had emergency surgery to deliver him so I've had to take some extra time. Kat said that Ayanna asked me to share the pics with OC as well, so enjoy baby pic spam, I won't blast the group with any more of them but feel free to ask if you would like to see more pics of the baby and thanks to everyone for all the cards, flowers and gifts from both Trevor and I, xxx Liv.

She scrolled through all of her photos and did a drag selection of all the photos that they wanted to see properly. She hit send and locked her phone as Trevor came back in to the room.

She smiled at him, "how'd you go?"

"Good, so I talked to Noah…" he hid a smirk. "We talked about the birds and the bees and where babies come from."

"Oh my gosh," Olivia sighed as he took up the spot beside her. "I was so sad when he said someone else told him," she pouted, "I wanted him to hear it from me," she added.

"Well baby, you can rest easy because I questioned him on what he knew about where babies come from," he chuckled, "And he seems to believe that fairy dust sprinkled in to Mom's drink causes her to be with child," he started to laugh.

"What?" Olivia laughed too, "Are you serious? What was the deal with the kissing then?"

Trevor found it all pretty hilarious, "Well, that's the good part," he told her, "The baby fairy only visits if the Mom and Dad have been kissing a lot."

Olivia covered her face with relief but also amusement. "Poor kid, someone sure gave him the wrong end of the stick… I guess it's comforting, I can give him the talk."

"Why don't you hold off a little?" Trevor asked, "He's only 6, the baby fairy story is kind of cute, don't you think?"

She sighed and started to chuckle again, "Yeah, I suppose its not going to hurt if he's unsure a little bit longer, maybe next year."

"Oh and he's open to Mom having another baby, not right away though."

"I love that you're all about the fact-finding mission, he is never that honest with me," she grinned at him.

"Yeah, it's a dude thing," he winked, leaning in to kiss her.

"Uh-uh, you don't want the baby fairy to visit, do you?" she asked him with a teasing smile.

"Honestly, I wouldn't care, I would do this with you a thousand times over…"

"Yeah well, my vagina isn't a fan of the thought of a baby in my stomach and also, I am not ready for more stretch marks and scars."

"I don't care, I love you stretch marks, scars and and all…" he replied, "now, are you ready to go to bed and take little man up for a feed?"

"Sure…" she knew they would watch TV for awhile and she could have a long warm shower once Teddy was back to sleep.

/

Trevor heard his phone vibrating on the bedside table as he was about to lay Teddy down for the night. He glanced at Olivia who had crashed beside him, looking incredibly peaceful as she slept snug beneath the covers.

He grabbed the phone and saw there were two other missed calls.

One call from Kat, another two from Sonny. He picked up the phone and texted Sonny, immediately thinking the worst, that something had happened to Erika. "One moment," he replied. He got up and put Teddy down carefully in his crib and went right in to the bathroom. He closed the door and called Sonny. "Hey, what's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"Hey Trev, everything is fine, I'm just trying to get a hold of Olivia, is she asleep already?"

"Yeah, she's out like a light, is it work related? Something I can help with?"

Sonny stammered for a second, "No, I don't think so, it's an emergency though and it's a confidential matter—is there any way you could wake her? You know I'd never ask that if it wasn't necessary."

Irate, Trevor sighed. "Really? You can't work it out? She's not supposed to be working."

"I know, but it's a victim she worked really closely with and she told me that if we were contacted by her we needed to contact Olivia without question."

"Okay," he sighed. He knew Olivia would be pissed with him if he gate-kept her job from her just because she was sleeping.

"I'll go wake her and she can call you back," he relented. "Later," he hung up. He opened the door and softly shook Olivia awake. "Honey, could you wake up?" he asked.

She opened her eyes and turned to him, looking disoriented. "Teddy?" she wondered.

"No, honey, I need you to wake up because Sonny needs you for a work thing, he said its an emergency, I'm so sorry to wake you up."

She sat up and glanced around, getting her bearings. "What's the time?" she wondered.

"It's 11:30, you've only been asleep for about 45 minutes…" he informed her as he went back around to his side of the bed. Olivia sat up and grabbed her phone. There were endless notifications – missed calls from her whole squad. She put her glasses on and saw a bunch of missed calls from Amanda and Kat and a couple from Sonny. Immediately she saw her phone begin to ring again; it was Amanda.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked, "what's going on? I have like, a million missed calls?"

"Cap!" Amanda sounded relieved, "I have just spent the entire past 2 hrs trying to break in to your account, you posted a photo that I am sure you did not want the entire group to see, you need to get off the phone and go right there and delete it, quickly."

"Hold on, give me a second." She wondered if she had posted a post-birth photo of herself naked from the chest up with just the baby covering her nipples. She wouldn't have wanted the group to see it, but it wasn't worth panic over.

"What is it?" Trevor asked.

Olivia just shook her head, concentrating as he went to go to the bathroom. She saw a couple of big LOL's coming from the officers she didn't know very well from Ayanna's squad. She started feeling a little sick as she saw Trevor's name as she skimmed over the messages up to the photos.

There it was, right at the top, the very first photo – she must have accidentally swiped it, she thought. The picture of Trevor in front of the mirror that he had taken for her in Pennsylvania at her request.

She could hear the blood pumping in her ears as she fumbled with her phone, editing it, deleting it immediately. She raised the phone to her ear, "A—amanda?"

"Yes boss, did you delete it?"

"Oh my god!" she whispered, she knew her face was crimson and was burning hot with embarrassment. "Oh my god, he is going to kill me!" she hissed. "Fuck!"

"Liv, it's okay, baby brain, right?" she tried to calm her captain, "I don't think everybody saw it, don't panic, it was just us cos we were waiting for the photos."

"Fuck!" she hissed, "I can't tell him, I can't tell him Amanda, he will absolutely kill me, you know it was a mistake right?!"

"Boss, calm down, its okay, he won't kill you, it was an honest mistake we all know that."

"No, you don't understand," Olivia felt tears filling her eyes, "this is bad, I'm supposed to be a role model, fuck… how many conversations do we give young girls about sexts…"

"You're not a young girl, Olivia, you're a woman who is old enough to consent to receiving a photo from the guy who is going to be your husband. Please don't beat yourself up over this…"

"Fuck, Garland would have seen it, Trevor is so private and so shy about his body, fuckkkk this is so bad."

"Breathe, Liv, please just breathe, it'll be alright, I promise. It'll all breeze over in a matter of days, I promise."

"Olivia, what's wrong?" Trevor asked, coming back in to the bedroom. He could see her looking panic-stricken.

"Nothing, its okay," she replied to him, "just a case…"

He looked concerned. He got back in to bed.

"I'll let the others know to stop calling you. Olivia, just relax there's nothing you can do, it's done… you did the right thing so just try to do some deep breathing and calm down. Call me in the morning if you like?"

"Okay, thanks for letting me know, Amanda. Goodnight."

"Night boss."

Olivia turned to Trevor and tried hard to produce a smile.

"What happened?" he asked her, "is everything okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, just stupid work stuff," she sniffed. She was trying not to cry for the panic of how Trevor might react.

"Liv, it's clearly shaken you up, you can talk to me about it—" he offered, feeling sad that she didn't want to tell him.

"No," she shook her head, "I can't…"

"Okay," he accepted it, figuring that she was maybe taking privacy and confidentiality a little too far. She didn't need to name names. But, he understood that perhaps she just didn't want his head to be filled with the same kinds of demons that sometimes the job filled hers with – it was something she had expressed to him in the past – her reluctance to share details about too much for the trauma that it could cause.

"Is it okay, though? Do you need to go to work or to do anything?"

She shook her head. "I can go back to sleep now, I guess."

"Okay," he gave her a little smile and kissed her. He turned out the lamp. They both got comfortable. She rolled on to her back and Trevor curled his body around her, warming her up.

"I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," she replied.