A/N - not as long between the updates this time, I hope you enjoy it and thank you so much for the feedback on my last chapter, it was really amazing to read your thoughts to thank you for putting the time to comment 3 i appreciate it.
"I don't feel very well…" Olivia told Trevor when she woke up, rolling toward him. She was still feeling sick to her stomach about what she had shared the night before and suffered from intermittent sleep.
Trevor frowned, lifting his hand to her forehead. "What kind of unwell?" he asked, "you feel okay…"
"Just nauseous," she replied "and my stomach hurts." He slid his hand on to her stomach and gave it a little rub.
He pouted at her, "I'm sorry, baby. Why don't I give Sonny a call? They were going to come to Noah's game but maybe Erika can come and hang out and chill with Teddy and Elly while you rest."
Olivia nodded with a frown, "only if it's no pressure on her…"
The truth was that she did feel sick, but it was from her own stupidity.
She needed some time alone to speak to Garland and also to Bell and apologize profusely and she needed to know if she could possibly keep it from Trevor – she didn't want to embarrass him or make him feel like she had objectified him. "Thank you, baby…" she murmured.
"You're welcome… I'll come check in on you in a little bit," he promised.
/
Erika came in hiding a smile, looking a little smug and immediately Olivia knew that she was in on the secret. "Feeling a little under the weather, huh?" she teased.
"Don't-" Olivia warned her, it was still far too early to see the funny side of it all.
"Well, I convinced my brother to take all three kids to tee-ball and Uncle Sonny will help him wrangle them."
"Thanks honey," Liv sighed just as Trevor came in to the bedroom.
"Baby, how are you feeling?" he asked softly, coming to her side, sitting down, ignoring his sister. He ran his hand over her hair. "Don't let Erika irritate you, if you need to rest, rest…"
"Ummm I'm right here," Erika waved her hands in the air.
"She's fine, don't be rude to your sister," Olivia warned him. "I'm okay."
"Okay well, I'm taking the kids with me. There's plenty of milk for little man and Noah really wanted us to bring him to the game."
"I'll express some more milk today to catch up the supply," she told him. "Thanks for being a good Dad." He smiled and leaned over to kiss her lingeringly.
"Ugh, gross…" Erika remarked.
"Shut up, you," Trevor retorted. "Feel better, love. We might take the kids to get a treat after the game, I'll text you."
Olivia smiled at the childish sibling interaction. "Love you."
"Love you too, if you need anything just text me if this little loser is incapable of helping you," he smirked at Erika, giving her a little playful shove.
"Fuck off, Trevor!" Erika exclaimed with a laugh right as Eloise bounced in to the bedroom.
"Ooooohhhhhh nooooo!" she exclaimed, "Daddyyy!" she gasped, "Auntie Ez said fuck!"
Erika clapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry!" she hissed.
Trevor glared at her and rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Good job…"
"You don't have to repeat the words from your auntie's mouth, Eloise. I don't want to ever hear you say that word again. Hear me?" he told her firmly.
Eloise sucked her head back as if she had heard something that had offended her. Olivia had to hide her face because funnier than hearing the curse word come from her mouth, was the adult expression that crossed her face as if Trevor's expectation was offensive to her. "You say fuck sometimes, too Daddy!" she told him as if it was a casual word she used from her daily vocabulary.
"I'm gonna see myself out…" Erika announced, leaving the room before she burst in to laughter.
Trevor looked back to glance at Olivia in shock of his three-year-old's attitude. Olivia had to hand it to her, she had a point and she was never shy of letting either of them know.
"Damn Erika!" Trevor muttered.
"Yeah, Damn Erika!" Eloise repeated with a grin so cheeky that Olivia had to put a pillow over her face. Eloise knew exactly what she was doing, riling up her father.
"I don't care what you've heard me say, I am an adult, you are a child and I will be so upset if I hear you saying those words again."
Eloise put one hand on her hip and tried to stare her father down. "That's not fair!" she retorted. "You and Mommy say fuck allllll the time."
"Okay that's it," Trevor announced, "I don't think your manners are acceptable to take outside to Tee-ball with Uncle Sonny and then for a treat so you can stay home in your bedroom on time out."
Her face changed and instantly he saw the remorse, "No! Daddy! I won't say it again!"
"No?" he checked. "You're not going to use grown up words again?"
"I won't!" she promised, "it's a Daddy and Mommy and Ezzie word!"
"Good, now go and give Mommy a kiss, we've gotta go." Happy that Trevor wasn't going to follow through with his punishment, Eloise ran over to Olivia who kept her face a little straighter.
"Bye Mommy!" she threw her arms around Olivia's neck and kissed her. "I hope you feel better!"
"Thank you sweetheart, I hope I don't hear you use those words anymore."
"I won't, byeeee!" she skipped off while Trevor waited for her.
"Good parenting," he joked referring to himself.
"More like good bribery, if she swears like that again we will be following through with a consequence, not bribing her," she told Trevor seriously, hating to use bribery as a parenting tool.
"That is true, but I'm in a rush, I didn't have time for tantrums and tears," he came over again and kissed her, "love you, feel better."
"Thanks, love you too."
/
"Did you send that pic to upset Elliot?" Erika questioned her Olivia when everyone had left the house.
"What? No!" she groaned, she hadn't even considered that Elliot would see it and if Erika had that thought, surely Elliot had too. "I didn't even know I sent it!" she exclaimed.
"Its okay, Liv, shit happens. Trevor seemed pretty calm about it, though?"
"He doesn't know!" Olivia covered her face. "Fuck, he is going to be so angry when he finds out."
"Wait, okay so first of all, why is my brother being really fucking gross and sending nasty pics of his junk to you anyway? He should know better!"
Olivia cocked her head at her sister-in-law. "Because I asked for it when he was away before I had Teddy," she admitted, "Actually, we were face-timing and I took a screen shot and told him –" she shook her head and made a face, "it doesn't matter, the point is, I told him I put it in a hidden album and I had intended to but I forgot…"
She picked up her phone "and now I have to call my chief…" she shook her head again, still in disbelief. "I'm such a fucking idiot!" she exclaimed.
Erika knew the time for jokes was long over if it had even started at all. Olivia was distressed and upset and teasing her wasn't going to make it any better.
After a few rings the phone answered. "Good morning, Olivia," Christian answered the phone.
"Hi Chief," she greeted him.
She heard him laugh, "It's Sunday, it's Christian… although, I think I know what this phone call may be about and my guess is that it's work-related."
"I am so sorry," she apologized immediately, "that photograph that I shared was just … pure baby brain and a case of me selecting all and adding and putting the phone down without looking, I'm aware of how bad this is and how unprofessional it is-"
"Liv, stop for a second."
She kept rambling, "And Trevor doesn't know but I know he is going to be really angry and mortified and I'll take whatever punishment I deserve for this, it's so inappropriate, I should have known be-"
"Olivia!" he exclaimed louder.
"Yes Chief?"
She heard his light laughter. "It's okay, I mean, it's not okay, but it is okay. I know you would have never done that on purpose. I am aware that no one is kicking your backside harder than yourself right now…"
Olivia released a sob, the embarrassment and stupidity. "I'm so embarrassed," she told him.
"I know, I can tell, I'm going to pretend it didn't happen. Ayana and I spoke this morning and I have spoken to her squad regarding privacy and your squad too, they should know better than anyone about the importance of not saving or sharing and if the photo is found to have gone any further than a private, encrypted police chat, then there will be consequences."
"Thank you, Christian, but I don't expect this to be punishment-free."
"Olivia!" he exclaimed, laughing again, "Please, I'm not going to punish you, you are not a child and this was an accident. You are a grown woman, what you and Trevor do is between you and Trevor – I am not going to lie, I am not really that interested in seeing or knowing about it, but maybe … just be more careful when you share things but stop beating yourself up over it. It's done, you can't change it and everyone will get over it."
"Thanks…" she murmured.
"Really, give Ayanna a call, she was going to contact you for some moral support, I believe and she really just feels for you."
"Thanks Christian, for not thinking I'm a total fucking idiot."
He laughed, "Who said that?" he joked. "No, seriously, your biggest problem is going to be Trevor and that one, I am happy to say, is all yours to deal with and good luck."
Olivia laughed and sobbed at the same time.
"Seriously, please just relax. Give Ayanna a call and she will be able to assure you that her team are being professional about it."
She got off the phone and sighed deeply. She decided she didn't want to speak to Bell. She texted her instead. She apologized profusely and thanked her for being supportive and turned to Erika.
"On a scale of 1-10 how badly do I need to tell Trevor about this, do you think?" she wondered.
Erika flopped down beside her on the messy bed. She made a face and sat back up, "wait is it safe for me to lay here?"
Olivia rolled her eyes, "Ez, I've been pregnant for 9 months and I've had a c-section, how long do you think we go between changing sheets?"
"I don't know," she shrugged with a laugh, "you just said you were pregnant for nine months and had a c-section, could have been this whole time!"
Olivia couldn't help but to laugh as Erika settled back down on her brother's pillow. "Well, Trevor changes the sheets at this point so you're safe—although he does drool."
Erika flipped the pillow and laid back down with a laugh. "Okay so, maybe don't tell him because I think he might actually blow a fuse…"
"Is it the right thing to do, to keep it from him?" she asked, wincing, thinking about having to tell him.
"Probably not, but he can be so unreasonable, Liv, I think it's safer, isn't it okay to lie when you're protecting someone?"
She sighed. "I'm so mad at myself…" she remarked. "No one is ever getting photos of Teddy again," she said firmly as if it was something she would stick to.
/
"To be honest with you, Trev, I thought you'd be way more irritated with me today than you are after what happened last night," Sonny chuckled.
Trevor was confused for a moment and remembered his frustration with Carisi for wanting to wake Olivia up. "Why would I be mad at you?" he asked, "you were just the messenger," he shrugged. "Noah, slow down," he called ahead. Noah slowed his pace and slipped back in to pace a close to his Dad and uncle.
"Yeah but… it must have been embarrassing for you to know that everyone has seen that pic now."
"Wait, what?" he rose his eyebrow, unsure of what Sonny was talking about. Trevor didn't miss the panic cross his face and realized that there was something that had been kept from him the night before. "What are you talking about? What picture?"
"Oh …" he winced with regret, "I uh… I think I put my foot in it, Trev, I don't want to get involved but I think you should talk to Olivia."
"Just tell me, what photo – did Olivia send the wrong photo to your squad? A photo of she and I in bed or something?"
"Uh… something like that. Please talk to Olivia, I don't want to say anything else and get anyone in to trouble."
Trevor felt frustrated but didn't want to pull Sonny further in to something if he didn't want or need to be. "Am I gonna be mad at Olivia?" he asked, thinking about it, feeling a sense of impending anxiety.
"Uh…" Sonny stammered, thinking for a moment. "It was an unintentional mistake and I don't think anyone is kicking her ass more than she is."
He stopped for a second, "Wait, is this why she is suddenly sick this morning?" he asked. "I knew something was off with her! Okay, what photo did she send to you guys? You have to tell me so I can calm myself before I get home."
"Mmmm, can I plead the fifth?" Sonny asked with a grimace, feeling like he was going to wear the wrath of both Olivia and Erika.
Trevor gave him a look. "She shared an intimate pic to our group discussion amongst all the pictures of Teddy."
"Do I want to know what the photo was?" he asked feeling a little sick in his stomach. He could only imagine that was something that she had sent to him and how embarrassed and nauseous she would have felt.
"That, my guy, is for you to discuss with Olivia."
"That's fair," Trevor agreed but his mind was full of concern for whether or not Olivia had put herself in a serious situation with work. "Liv isn't in any trouble with Garland over it, is she?" he asked as he pushed the pram for a few moments in silence while Sonny chatted to Elly who was cranky and tired and happy to rest on her uncle's shoulder.
"I'm not sure, I don't think so, but it was an honest mistake, so…"
"Okay… I hope Olivia is okay," he murmured, thinking out loud.
/
When they got in in the afternoon Trevor was relieved to see Olivia sitting on the couch with Erika catching up on the show that they'd been binge-watching together. "Mommy!" Noah exclaimed, "Mommy! We won!" he exclaimed.
Olivia grinned at her son as he ran at her, flinging her arms around her. "I got TWO home runs!"
"Did you?!" she exclaimed in mock-disbelief. "I am so proud of you, my love!" She kissed his cheek.
"Uncle Sonny managed to film it all too, I'll send you the videos later," Sonny smiled at her, feeling obscenely bad for the situation he had unwittingly put her in.
"Yeah! And then Daddy and Uncle Sonny took us to the park for ice cream!" he was so excited, Olivia thought, she wondered when the sugar crash would occur.
"Wow, you have had a huge day," she gave him a little squeeze. "I am so proud, you are so good at Tee Ball!"
"Thanks Mommy," he smiled at her, a little embarrassed.
"And did you get to introduce Teddy to your team mates?" she asked.
"Yes!" he nodded emphatically, "Michael said Teddy is cuter than his baby brother," he chuckled.
Olivia laughed at her son's joy. "That's a bit cheeky isn't it?" she asked, him. "I'm glad you've had such a wonderful day, my sweetheart." She glanced at Elly who looked like she was seconds from falling asleep, "Did you have a good day too, love?" she asked her.
"She's tired; I think she could probably have a little nap…" Trevor announced.
"Might be a bit late for that, Dad…" Olivia replied. "Early night for everyone, I think."
"Honey, I'm gonna put you down now because Uncle Sonny and Auntie Ezzie have to go home." Sonny told her gently.
"Why?" Erika asked, "we're in the middle of an episode."
"Because we just do, come on…" he made eyes with her and she realized that something must have happened.
Olivia rose her eyebrow at Sonny, "hey, don't boss her around…"
"Uh, I'm not trying to, I just have something planned…" he replied with a lie knowing that he was also now going to have to take Erika on a date because she would no doubt be angered that he put his foot in it.
"Its okay, we're almost old and boring like you guys, we should go and do a date thing." Sonny put his hand out to Erika and helped her up.
The kids said their goodbyes and left Olivia and Trevor to it.
/
"Are you feeling better?" Trevor asked Olivia as she turned the show off and allowed Noah to put some cartoons on.
"Yeah, a lot better," she lied. She still felt sick with guilt over having to explain the photograph to him, but at least after a few texts back and forth with Bell, she knew that no one was angry with her. But still, she couldn't be convinced that Trevor wouldn't be.
"Good honey," he looked at his watch, "hey listen it's almost 5, I think Elly will be in bed really early so I might get bath time out of the way… I'm just thinking leftovers for dinner and something quick for the kids?"
"Yeah, sounds good, I'll get up and get them some dinner while you do that."
"Okay," he smiled. She made the move to get up from the couch and followed behind Trevor who had scooped Elly up along the way.
"Hey," he began as he watched Olivia circle around the kitchen.
"Mmm?"
"Honey if you need to talk about anything, you know you can right?" he asked.
Olivia turned to face him and he saw a flicker of fear spread across her face. He knew that she would probably tell him in her own time, but he was worried about her and concerned as to why she wouldn't share what happened with him. "I know," she replied gingerly.
"Okay," he replied simply, deciding not to push things. He turned to his daughter, "You look really, really tired, sweetheart."
"I'm not," she retorted in a tone that suggested that she very much was.
"Babe, I'm gonna get you and Noah some melted cheese and some tinned spaghetti, how's that?" Olivia offered.
Eloise nodded but sank her head on to her father's shoulder. Olivia couldn't help but to smile. She took a step closer and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Mommy missed you today," she told her, giving her back a gentle rub. "Do you want Mommy to read the story tonight?"
Eloise nodded again, a tiny smile forming.
Trevor smiled too. He leaned over and kissed Olivia's warm lips. "Okay, let's let Mommy get dinner and you can have a quick bath."
/
"Just because Elly can't stay awake like a big girl, why do I have to go to bed early?" Noah grumbled at Olivia as she walked him up to his bedroom.
"Noah," she warned him, "Mom's really tired too, Dad is tired, Teddy is tired, we need to have a good night's sleep and even though you think you're not, I think you are," she added, pulling back his bedding while he went to brush his teeth that was being overseen by Trevor who was helping Eloise.
"Right," she told him, handing him a book, "here is your book, you can read for 15 minutes while I read to Eloise and then I'll be back." She kissed his forehead. Noah got in to bed and got comfortable, realizing arguing wasn't going to get him anywhere.
Olivia went down the hall to Elly's room and let herself in. Trevor was saying goodnight. He kissed her forehead and gave her a cuddle before slotting her beneath her covers. Olivia held up two stories – "which one?" she asked her.
Eloise thought for a second and pointed to the one about farm animals. Liv put the other away and turned out the big overhead light while she eased herself down beside the bed. "Did you have a good day today?" she asked Eloise.
Elly nodded, "Yeah I played with a big girl at Tee ball and then Uncle Sonny pushed me on the swings and we looked for bugs."
Olivia smiled. "That sounds like a great day, sweetie… and what about a special treat, what special treat did you guys get?"
"Ice cream!" she exclaimed, "I had chocolate and I wanted to share with Teddy but Daddy said no and wouldn't let me put it in his mouth but I didn't want him to miss out because he's little its not his fault," the three-year-old rambled on, making Olivia feel a whole lot better than she did earlier.
"Teddy is really little, too little for ice cream right now, maybe in a few months time when you are four, Teddy can eat some cake or some ice cream."
Eloise sighed like the idea was boring to her.
"Okay, let's read your story…" she smiled.
/
Trevor couldn't help himself, he saw a few messages light up Olivia's screen while she got ready for bed. He saw Elliot's name and rolled his eyes. They kept coming, the message preview showing him ranting about something. He felt sick all of a sudden, thinking that she'd shared provocative pictures of herself that Elliot may have seen.
He picked up the phone and hit the home button so he could read the previews but instantly, guilt got the best of him and he put it back down. He trusted Olivia, he may not have trusted Elliot, but that wasn't on her.
She appeared from the bathroom and yawned.
"Elliot is blowing up your phone…" he told her. She looked alarmed and picked it up and scrolled through it for a moment before becoming visibly irate. She sighed.
"Trevor…" she began, feeling a wash of heat engulf her body. "I need to tell you something and I think you're going to hate me for it…"
He took his glasses off. "Liv, I could never hate you for anything." He felt the same alarm that had crossed her face fill him up. "Wait," he said, "You didn't cheat on me, did you?" He knew it was a stupid question as it popped out of his mouth.
She narrowed her eyes at him, her irate kicked up a notch. "No, Trevor, I would never… where would I even have the time?"
"You've just been acting weird all day, Sonny told me a photo was shared to your group chat and I feel annoyed or at least hurt that you won't tell me about it…"
She put her phone down and avoided his eyes. "I just did something so stupid that … I'm so ashamed of it and I'm afraid of your reaction so I don't even know how to tell you."
Trevor felt like she was exaggerating. There were very few photos of her in any naked capacity on her phone. He understood embarrassment of sharing something personal, but he was sure that her guilt and shame was overinflated.
"Firstly," he began calmly, inching closer, pulling her over to him until she faced him, "is everything okay with your job?" he asked, "you're not in any trouble?"
She shook her head, "No, I spoke to Garland today and then I had to speak to Ayanna Bell because it was … the whole Organized Crime Unit and SVU squad."
"Okay well then the rest we can deal with… what happened?"
She took a few moments and a few deep breaths. Trevor could see the anxiety and tension that filled her body. "It's okay…" he reached over and rubbed her shoulder affectionately, "it can't be that bad."
"I just went through and did a swipe select of all the photos of Teddy and glanced over it and shared them. Kat asked me to put it in the group with Organized Crime cos Bell wanted to see them too." She looked up to see the intensity in which Trevor was staring at her. He nodded, listening intently.
"And that was it, I turned my phone on silent, we went to bed and Sonny and Amanda were trying to get a hold of me to tell me I'd shared something incredibly inappropriate."
"Okay…. why didn't they just tell me that?"
"Because it was …" he watched her hands shake, "it was the photo of you that you sent me in Pennsylvania."
He thought for a second before giving her a strange look, "what do you mean? I never sent you any pics while I was in-" suddenly he could feel the bile rising up from his gut. "The screen shot?" he asked, "that you took?"
"I'm so sorry," she blurted out.
"Olivia," he began in what was the edge of calm but ready to burst in to fury, she could tell. "Are we talking about the photo where you can see my dick, full-frontal, posing like a fucking moron?" he asked, trying to comprehend exactly what she was saying.
"That's not how I'd have described it but yeah…"
He closed his eyes and held up both hands as if to tell her to shut up.
"So… let me get this straight, your whole workplace has seen my erect penis? Oh my god…" his face was red and his anger was slowly beginning to surface, "you said you put it in a private album, Liv!"
"I intended to, I just forgot."
"Not fucking good enough!" he snapped, getting up from the bed. He paced the room, running his fingers through his hair. "Great, so what now? Elliot calling to compare sizes?"
"Trevor, I'm sorry, this was an accident."
"I knew it was a fucking bad idea," he said to her, "I knew it… I'm an idiot…"
"It's my fault, not yours."
"Do you know how bad this will look for me at the office?" he asked, "I'm trying to climb the ranks to being DA, that'll look good won't it? Dick pics of Trevor Langan begin surfacing…"
"I can't believe you kept this from me!" He continued, "For almost twenty-four fucking hours. And all day! All I could think of was, 'I really hope Olivia is okay'."
"Trevor I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, emphatic, "please… you have no idea how awful I feel."
"I feel so fucking violated, you have no idea!" he exclaimed angrily, "and the fact that you kept it from me! Were you even planning on telling me!?" his voice rose several octaves.
"What can I do to make it up to you?" she asked softly, standing up, making her way around the bed, wanting him to calm down and to tell her it was okay. She knew though that it wasn't okay and there was no one else but to blame for what she'd done and for not keeping content safe when she used the very same phone for work purposes.
She reached out to touch him, placing both of her hands on his chest, looking up in to his eyes with tears that filled her own.
"Nothing!" he snapped, taking her hands and pushing them away. "You lied by omission, you promised me you'd be careful with the photo when I had a fucking bad feeling about it the second you told me you took it…"
He tried not to look at the pained expression on her face. He knew she was crying but he was so enraged and hurt that he didn't care enough to try to make her feel better about it.
"Stop yelling at me—" she told him almost like a plea. "Please… I can't deal with you yelling." He retreated for a moment, realizing that yelling wasn't going to help. He watched her wipe her eyes with the back her hand.
"This wasn't all me, Trevor, that night you were a willing participant and if you had a problem with me taking the photo you should have voiced your concerns and if you asked me to delete it, I would have! Don't throw that on me now."
Trevor rose an eyebrow, suddenly clouded by his own rage at her subtle pointing of the finger. "I'm sorry, what?! Are you actually blaming me for this?" he laughed loudly – it was odd and shrill and definitely didn't come from a place of joy.
"No, I'm not—I'm not blaming you," she shook her head, "I just—can we please pause for a second and talk calmly about this?"
"Fuck your pause, Olivia, you just blamed me for your carelessness – did you know this could jeopardize my job!? Fuck!" he exclaimed, storming out of the room, wincing as he heard Teddy begin to scream.
He knew he needed to take a few minutes to calm down.
It wasn't very late and he knew he shouldn't, but he picked up his phone and texted Kara. "Sorry it's so late, I just wanted to know if you could please call me when you have ten to fifteen minutes, I need to run something by you, thanks."
He went to the kitchen and poured himself a whisky and slammed it down and went for a second one. He had never felt angrier with Olivia and angry with himself because deep down he knew it was an accident, but the idea of ten to fifteen people seeing his junk made him want to disappear.
He sipped the second whisky, still feeling the burn of the first one.
His phone chimed again, "I can call now if you are free?"
He felt anxious as to how his boss was going to take the news. He texted back, "Only if it's appropriate for you, otherwise work hours are totally fine."
The phone rang and Trevor picked it up. "Hi Kara," he greeted her.
"Hi Trevor, what's up? Your message sounded a little urgent."
"Not urgent—" he corrected her then he took a second, "well, maybe it is, I don't know. I guess I wanted to talk to you before you heard any wild rumors."
"Okay…" her voice trailed off. Trevor took another sip of his whisky and took a deep breath.
"Olivia was sharing pictures in her work group chat with the Organized Crime department and also with SVU and … I don't know what the reason, baby brain or whatever, but she bulk shared and there was a naked photo of me in that batch that now…." He puffed out air feeling deeply embarrassed, "everyone has seen so…. I just need you to know in case you catch wind of it..."
There was some silence for a moment, "It was an accident, right?" she asked, just to confirm.
"Yeah… she's mortified and upset but unfortunately I'm the one who's … everything was on display."
"And has Olivia's boss spoken to her? Has Garland reached out to both squads?"
"Yeah, as far as I'm aware. He understood it was an accident, the groups are encrypted and private and obviously anything spoken about on the chats are supposed to be holding up to a privacy standard but—I just, I know with the situation with Elliot, I don't know if that's going to be a problem."
"Okay," she replied calmly, "to clarify, this was a photo of you that Olivia shared to the group, you're the only person in the photo?" she asked him.
"Yes. It was not an unsolicited photo, it wasn't- this is so embarrassing," he hissed with annoyance, "I can't even tell you how unprofessional and how humiliated I feel right now," Trevor muttered, keeping a lid on his anger.
"Trevor, you didn't share it, someone else did. I would say that Bell and Garland won't take the matter of privacy lightly, you're not at fault. If you find out Elliot has done anything with the photograph, you need to speak to me and I will take it up with Garland but I would hope that he would know better."
"Thanks Kara, I am so sorry to have had to tell you this and put you in an uncomfortable situation."
"No, I appreciate you telling me; if anything were to come from it, it's easier to have the heads up, don't be too hard on yourself – or Olivia, baby brain is really a thing, I am sure she would never have wanted to do that to you…"
"I know… but it was just careless and it shouldn't have still been on her phone," he vented, "anyway, thank you. I'm sorry again."
"Please don't stress yourself out over it, you have a baby to worry about, it could be worse… it could have been a video tape."
Trevor managed to laugh, "of me? Not a chance in the world… yuck."
He ended the call with his boss and went back to his whisky trying to calm his nerves.
Olivia came downstairs and he felt instantly irritated that she wouldn't allow him some space to calm down on his own. "Trevor…" he glanced at her, gripping the edges of the countertop trying to breathe his frustration away.
He just needed a moment of calm – he was angry that she wouldn't allow him just a little space to rationalize what had happened – to allow his humiliation to dissipate to a point where he could have a calmer conversation with her.
Her urge to fix things was something that he usually appreciated, but he felt that she had no understanding of timing. He didn't want to be angry, he didn't want to yell but he just wanted her to let him be.
"Liv, please just leave me alone," he replied, raising his voice just slightly.
"No! I don't want to leave you alone- not when you're this upset."
In response Trevor inhaled a deep breath and cursed quietly, "fuck this!"
"Trev…" Liv's voice pleaded as she stood at a distance, ready to cross the room to comfort him in the kitchen.
He took a mouthful of the remaining whisky in the glass and slammed it on the countertop so hard that it seemed to crumble to smithereens in his hand. "Fuck!" he growled in both shock and frustration. His curled, firm grip on the glass tumbler seemed to disintegrate until there were only jagged wet shards remaining in his palm.
"Shit, Trev-"
"Don't!" he halted her, holding up his free hand, ignoring the small red liquid quickly surfacing upon his palm, "leave me alone, Olivia, I mean it…"
"Just let me help get the glass-"
"I don't want your fucking help!" he snapped, "leave me alone!" he added in a quiet, firm and final tone.
He was angry with himself for getting as angry as he did. He drew in a deep breath and tried to ignore the sound of his fiancé crying.
She disappeared from his vision and dared himself to look down at his hand, fearing the worst.
Unsurprised, he saw the stark, red droplets of blood dripping on to the marbled countertop. It began to burn with pain. He was cautious to not step in any glass as he let go of whatever he was still holding and made his way to the kitchen sink. He ran the water from the tap and put his hand under it to ensure that all the small bits of glass were washed away.
"Fuck…" he cursed again, his pain sobering him slightly from his anger.
He felt regretful of the way he'd yelled at her and felt frustrated that it had escalated so quickly.
He knew he needed to go back up to their room – their bathroom was where they kept medical kits so that the kids couldn't mess around with poisonous or important items. He grabbed some paper-towel and pressed it against his bleeding palm and stepped over a little glass and made his way back upstairs.
He found Olivia in bed crying with Noah wrapped around her, his head rested upon her shoulder, whimpering softly. He knew he needed to reel in his anger and understand that while his feelings were valid, Olivia did not intentionally set out to embarrass or humiliate him.
"What's wrong?" he asked. He glanced at Olivia who refused to look at him. He felt a stab of pain, watching her smooth her son's hair and stop occasionally to brush fresh tears away.
Noah turned to see Trevor, "Daddy…" his little face crumpled and he began to cry.
"Hang on bud, Daddy will just be a second," he murmured, his heart melting and realizing that his own ego needed to retreat.
He went to the bathroom and checked out the glass slices in his palm. It was starting to throb a little but he was lucky that it didn't seem too serious. He sprayed it with antiseptic and covered it with a cotton puff before applying an adhesive bandage knowing that a band aid wasn't going to stick.
He made his way back out to find Olivia comforting Noah. "Its okay, sweetheart," she whispered to him, sniffing, "you're okay…"
"Bud, what's wrong?" he asked him quietly and soothingly.
"He heard you yelling," Olivia told him bluntly, "he was scared," she added pointedly.
Any residue anger that lingered within him completely dissolved and was replaced with a feeling of deep guilt for worrying them.
Trevor visibly cringed. He made his way around to his side of the bed and slid next to Olivia so that he could see Noah's face. "Bud, you don't need to be scared of me, I promise…" he murmured, reaching over and smoothing his son's hair. He felt jarred by the new flood of tears that came from both Olivia and Noah as if it were a relief to hear the words.
"Are you still angry?" he sniffled, asking in a way that made Trevor's eyes burn with his own tears.
He had never felt more ashamed of himself.
He remembered and knew better than anyone what it was like to fear waking up in the middle of the night to the sounds of adults yelling and items being thrown and smashed. "Come here, both of you…" he told them, realizing that both of their anxieties were feeding off one another.
When Olivia didn't make any move to get closer, he sidled up close and put an arm around her. "I'm sorry," he sighed, "I'm really, really sorry."
He drew her close to him. "Neither of you have any reason to be scared of me, I will never harm either of you, I promise." He lowered himself so that he could see Noah's little face. He wiped his tears. "Bud… Daddy was just frustrated but that wasn't your fault and it wasn't Mommy's fault, it was mine… I'm sorry that you heard me use bad words and raise my voice."
He slowly pulled Noah from Olivia's chest and embraced him tightly. "Okay? Sometimes… I get angry too and I need a minute to calm down but that doesn't mean I'm going to hurt anyone."
His tears prickled his eyes, feeling guilty and weighted down by his own stupid, reckless behavior not only hurting Noah, but clearly shaking Olivia too. He turned to her, "I'm so sorry," he said again, reaching for her hand.
She drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I thought you were going to tell me to leave," she admitted, wiping her eyes, "I know I did a stupid thing-"
"Stop, don't worry about it, it's done – there's nothing we can do, I massively overreacted."
"You didn't…" she sniffed. "I'd have reacted the same, I know it."
"I was just worried about … what it would mean for me professionally and … the idea of all those people laughing at me, at us behind our backs..." he explained, "but I was out of line downstairs and I would never ask you to leave."
She continued to wipe the tears that streamed down her face. He reached over and smoothed her cheek with his forefingers. "I hate seeing you cry, it hurts…" he said softly, "and I've upset Noah…" he leaned over and planted a kiss on his son's head. "Its just … too much. I'm so sorry."
"You okay bud?" Trevor asked. Noah had exhausted himself and Trevor suspected he might have gone back to sleep.
"Yes…" he uttered, fatigued but also still calming down.
"Are you ready to give Mommy and Daddy a big hug and go back to bed?" he wondered. "I can take you and I can tuck you in…"
"No…" he replied. "I wanna stay here."
Trevor decided not to argue the point, he knew he had brought it upon himself and would have done whatever was in his power to make sure Noah felt safe and secure.
"Okay… you can stay here, but I'm have to go back downstairs for a few minutes, do you think you and Mommy will be okay?" he asked.
"Mmhmm," Noah agreed.
He looked to Liv, "I better clean up, I'll vacuum the kitchen in the morning," he opted, "are you alright?" he wondered.
"Yeah…" she paused and glanced at his terrible first aid job, "how is your hand?"
"It'll be fine; I deserve it for being a jerk…" he remarked with a sigh. He was humbled by the grace that she showed by reaching for his injured hand and pulling it in to hers to inspect it. "Was the cut deep?"
He shrugged, "I don't think so…"
"I'll look at it when …." She nodded at Noah, "goes back to sleep."
"It'll be okay," he shrugged slowly withdrawing his grip from her hand ignoring the throbbing beneath the skin.
He gently slid out beneath Noah and laid him down beside Olivia who stroked his hair. He gave them a kiss on the forehead each and made his way downstairs.
Trevor surveyed the mess that he left and got to work cleaning up the glass so that neither of the kids might step in it. He cleaned a few droplets of blood from the marble-top counter and put the whisky away. He was glad for the slight feeling of tipsy because it was probably downgrading the pain in his hand.
He cleaned up the best that he could and picked up his phone from the countertop. There was a message. He picked it up and saw that it was from Erika.
Hey bro, I just wanted you to know that if you need to ever talk, no matter what it is, I may just be your annoying little sister, but I am here and I am capable of an adult conversation. I love you.
He felt a pang of embarrassment hit him again. He shook his head knowing that Carisi had probably filled her in. This is something I really don't want to be discussing with my little sister, it's weird and inappropriate overall, but thank you and I love you too and can you ask your boyfriend to maybe keep private chat matters to himself, thanks.
He stopped himself, he needed to be aware when he was getting too pompous for his own good, usually Olivia reeled him back in, but he had promised himself that he would stop treating his sister like a child and respect her as a grown woman and be the friend to her that he continually insisted to Noah that he was.
He opened the contact back up and saw that speech bubble that signified she was replying.
Sorry, he tapped out, that was really rude, I'm just stressed out and I had a massive fight with Liv, I'm calm now… I know you're just trying to help and be a good sister and you are, you're the best. Remember how Dad used to fly off the handle and you'd wake up in the middle of the night and crawl in to bed with me?
He went back to the shelf and grabbed the whisky bottle. He took a little sip right from the bottle. After a few moments, Erika replied, Yeah… I remember that…burned in to my fucking brain, actually.
I was Dad tonight, obviously I would never lift a hand to Liv or the kids but I lost it when Olivia told me what happened. I screamed and yelled and cursed at her, she still tried to come after to make sure I was okay and I all but told her to fuck off, I smashed a whisky tumbler and I woke Noah up in the process. I cut my hand open and it calmed me down – I went upstairs and found Noah cowering on Olivia's lap, frightened of the yelling and me being a giant fucking asshole.
He waited a few moments before taking another sip. His phone began to ring. He had an idea that she would call.
"Hey…" he accepted the call and brought the phone to his ear.
"Hi, Trev… are you okay?"
"Yeah, I guess… I just feel like a sack of shit, truthfully."
"Just because you got angry doesn't mean you're anything like Dad," she told him firmly. "You said it yourself, you'll never lay a hand on any of the kids or Olivia and she knows that too."
"Does she?" he asked, "because I'm not sure that she does and I can't handle it knowing that she might be questioning it."
"Trevor, listen to me, you are not like Dad. You have a lion heart for your family. I used to flee to your room when I was far too old to be because I knew that if Dad came for us, you would protect me," she told him meaningfully. "Maybe you went about it the wrong way, maybe you overreacted, but there will be times maybe in the past or maybe in the future where Olivia will overreact to something as well – you're human and humility is a big deal. As long as you give her a heartfelt apology but communicate yourself to her, she will understand, Trevor, that's what is so great about the both of you."
He blinked back tears. "It was just a shitty thing to have happened and I don't even really blame Liv, I blame myself for –"
"For what?" Erika asked, exasperated, "for having an adult moment with your fiancé? So fucking what!"
Trevor managed to scoff a little at her dismissal, her ability to make it sound like it was no big deal, "This may be confronting for you to hear Trevor," she continued, "but I guarantee that all of those men and probably all of those women in that group chat have sent or received dick or tit pics… we live in a digital age, we all do stupid shit like that…"
He sighed, "I know… it's just-"
"It's just that you're embarrassed but of course you are, I would be too and trust me, Olivia was vomiting with sickness over it this morning, she cried on and off all day – it was a pure accident."
"You knew all day?"
"Sorry…" her voice trailed, "It wasn't our place to tell you before Olivia could."
He groaned, "Thanks for the chat," he told her gratefully, "I appreciate it, I know its awkward and uncomfortable—"
"Not really, it might be for you, Trev, but for me, it's … whatever, you should know that by now, nothing phases your little sister."
He chuckled. "Goodnight Ez, I'll text you tomorrow."
"Go get in to bed and give your fiancé a big hug and talk about it tomorrow when you're both less emotional."
"Thanks Ez… love you."
"Love youuuuu!" she hung up and a small appreciative smile spread over his face.
/
Trevor got back upstairs and found Eloise in bed too. He couldn't help but to laugh. Olivia looked almost sheepish. "Sorry… they were both…really out of sorts and hard to settle."
"It's okay, it's my fault," he shrugged. He went to Olivia's side of the bed to check in on Teddy's bassinet that was they'd made a place for on the other side of her bedside table. "How's this little guy?"
"Good, he's having a really good sleep, at least one of them are."
"Are we putting the kids back to bed or are we just gonna let them comfort sleep tonight?"
"I know I'll regret it in the morning, but I think we should let them sleep here." Trevor smiled, realizing just how much of a sucker she was when the kids wanted to snuggle up to her. He leaned over Teddy and planted a kiss on his forehead.
"Are you okay to scoot over a little so that we can talk for a minute?" he asked, wanting to give her the chance to say no. "If you feel comfortable," he added.
Olivia scooted over slightly with Eloise and Noah sleeping side-by-side. He took a seat as best as he could fit. "Firstly, I want to deeply apologize for my behavior before," he said slowly and calmly. Olivia went to open her mouth but Trevor stopped her, "Please, let me finish…" He took her hand within his healthy one. "I'm really appalled at how I spoke to you and even more that I scared Noah and I sincerely hope that you know that despite how furious I get about anything, I would never ever lift my hand to any of you…" He watched her eyes fill with tears and the pain flooded his body. "You know that, right?" he insisted.
She nodded. "I didn't feel scared that you might hit me, Trevor, it's okay, but I don't want Noah or any of the kids to ever have to wake up to yelling or shouting or things breaking, it's not …" she paused, "I lived that too, Trevor, it was frightening as a kid."
"I know, I agree." He drew in a deep breath, "I am so ashamed that I woke him up and scared him… I was out of line Olivia, I am really sorry."
"It's okay," she told him. "I know I caused this, this is my fault-"
"Look," he squeezed her hand, "I think that I should have told you I felt a little funny about the screen shot, we could have talked about it, but I guess I got caught up in the moment—and maybe I should have double checked that you had it in a private album or that you deleted it but I do know that you didn't do it on purpose and it was an accident that could have happened to anyone."
"I'm still so …" she shook her head, "so mad at myself."
"Forget it—" he told her, "please, I don't want you to feel bad, it could be worse, if it was a pic of us both together I don't think I would cope, so I'm kinda glad it was me and not you, if I'm honest."
"Sacrificing your penis for me?" she asked, hoping that he would see the sense of humor in it.
Wearily, he managed a weak laugh. "Olivia, I love you so much and I really don't want you to fear me leaving or asking you to leave – it doesn't matter how angry we become with one another, there would be almost no occasion where I think I would question what we have… so please, please put that fear of abandonment in the trash, it doesn't need to be there."
"Thanks for saying that..." she pressed her lips together, growing emotional as he stared in to her eyes with intensity. The fire and the fury was gone, the frustration and tension had all fallen away from his face and he was soft again, sincere, concerned and full of empathy and regret.
"Of course," he murmured, kissing her softly on her lips, resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes for a moment to breathe her in, to steel himself for just a second, remembering all that was good and right between them.
He withdrew first and glanced over at the kids, "You know you're going to wake up with a punch to the back with Elly asleep there, right?" he asked with a half-smile.
Olivia chuckled, grateful for the light-hearted moment. "Yeah…but its okay, they'll want to come in here less when Teddy keeps us all up with his crying."
As he went to get up, she grabbed his wrist. "I'm not satisfied with the way you fixed your hand…" she told him, "let's go take a look at it properly, if there's any glass in there it could get infected."
"It'll be okay…"
"No," she shook her head, "come on…" she made the move to get out of bed and lead him by the wrist to the bathroom. "Sit down right there…" she nodded to the edge of the bath. He took a seat, not really minding that she tended to get bossy sometimes.
The idea of her taking care of him was a little bit hot, if he was honest. She reached for the first-aid supplies and slowly peeled back the adhesive bandage to reveal a blood soaked cotton puff. She made a face, "Trevor, what the fuck do you call this?" she hissed at him, "that's the worst thing you could have done…"
"I was more concerned with coming and making sure you were both okay and a regular band aid isn't going to stick."
She tossed the adhesive and cotton in to the trash and made him wash away all the dried blood. "At least it's not still bleeding," she remarked. She rummaged through the container filled with tubes of cream and bite-spray and more.
"Here…" she showed him a large, square shaped band aid, "this will work better than your dodgy organization over here…" they both laughed.
She waited for his hand to dry from another spray of the antiseptic. "Did you really feel uncomfortable about that pic that I took? Or do you think you feel like that because of what happened? I mean…" she paused, "be honest…"
He looked up at her gorgeous but tired face hovering above his before shrugging. "Honestly, I felt a mixture of things," he admitted, "I was flattered that you wanted to see me and go so far as to keep that image of me for later but then the inhibited side of me felt like maybe it was too much."
"Please, please always speak up if you're uncomfortable with something, I shouldn't have presumed it was okay, I should have asked your permission, that was so wrong of me. I'm sorry."
He shook his head, "Please don't waste your time feeling bad – it's done. I spoke to Kara, you spoke to Christian, we both spoke to Erika, we should do our best to put it behind us."
"Fuck, what did Kara say?"
"She wanted to be clear on the details," he explained, "but she was fine, she said all the things Garland said to you… We are both incredibly lucky with our employers."
Olivia took his hand and put the square band aid over the heel of his palm, closer to his thumb, covering the three cuts. "Maybe we need to separate our work phones…" he sighed.
"Maybe… or maybe if we have photos, we actually do need to make use of a private album," Olivia murmured sheepishly as she let go of his hand.
Trevor couldn't help but to laugh. He took her waist and drew her to him. "Love you… but you need to either delete that photo or if you can't bare to part with it, put it under lock and key…"
She leaned over him and kissed him. "I already put it in private."
/
"Okay, what happened?" Olivia asked. Trevor was holding Noah's school bag beside him, one arm cuddled around Teddy in the baby sling.
Noah ran ahead, making a beeline for his Mom. He was crying and red-faced. She lowered herself down to meet his eye-level. "Honey, what's wrong?" she wanted to know, holding firmly on to Elly's hand at her side.
Noah wrapped himself around his Mom's legs and buried his face in to her shirt. She looked up at Trevor expectantly who gave his head a little shake and breathed a sigh of frustration. "Elly, hold on to Daddy for a minute," she suggested.
Trevor slung Noah's school bag over his shoulder and reached for his daughter's hand. "Give Noah a second with Mom," he told her despite his daughter looking on with concern.
"Don't cry, Noah," Elly said softly, stepping away from Trevor and closer to her brother. She put a hand on his back. Olivia's heart warmed at the compassion that Elly showed whenever she saw him upset.
"Thank you, sweetheart," Olivia gave her a soft smile, "Noah is going to be fine, he just needs a big Mommy cuddle," she assured her.
She scooped up Noah, realizing just how heavy he was starting to get, but still he was always just that little bit smaller and lighter than other kids his age. "Honey, what happened?" she asked him.
He hiccupped and tried to get his composure. "Deep breaths," Olivia coached him as they slowly began to walk away from the school. Liv looked to Trevor for help.
"There was an incident…" he murmured, reaching over with his free hand and running his fingers through Noah's curls.
Olivia rolled her eyes and knew that she wasn't going to like what she heard. "Tell me…" she commanded, wrapping her arms around her first born baby.
"The book that I bought for him a few weeks back, he asked if he could take it for show-and-tell this morning when I took him to school."
"Uhuh?"
"They played keep-away at lunch time and our old friend Connor from Mrs. Newcom's class, ripped the pages out," he finished. She could tell that Trevor was livid but was keeping a lid on it for the kids sake.
"Why don't they call us?" Olivia asked, irate. She gave Noah a little squeeze. Trevor just shook his head.
"Okay, honey," she spoke to Noah, kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry that your book got ruined, but it's not your fault and it's okay."
"I loved my book," he told her.
"I know you did, my sweet boy." They walked slow toward home. Noah pulled his face away from Olivia's neck leaving her loose button-down a little wet in spots from his tears. She almost couldn't stand to see his sad, red-face. He pushed his curls out of his face and wiped his eyes with his hands.
"You know what I think we should do?" Trevor asked them with a little smile, pushing down the pain that he felt and the frustration and anger he felt toward the child who was constantly tormenting their son.
"What?" Noah asked.
"I think we should go home and get changed from our school clothes and we can feed Teddy and Mommy and Daddy can put some nicer clothes on," he winked, they both had milk and other food stains on their shirts, "and we can go to the book store and get some new special books for all of us and then we can go to dinner…"
Olivia smiled at him, "I love that idea, how about you guys?" Olivia pressed the kids.
"Daddy could I get a new book?" Elly asked.
"Of course sweetheart," Trevor smiled at Eloise, "maybe even Daddy and Mommy will get a new book," Trevor replied.
/
"What are we gonna do about this bullshit?" Olivia asked Trevor when they were finally alone.
He shook his head with frustration, "I don't know, I saw that kid as I was coming out of Noah's class with him and I wanted to just …." He rolled his shoulders and clipped his sentence short. "It's not fucking good enough – maybe we should look at a new school."
"Maybe we should address the problem and speak to Connor's mother, I don't know her super well, but when he and Noah were friends, I met her a few times and she was a nice woman, she'll probably be horrified."
"What's the point? Didn't they have a chat to her about his behavior before and wasn't she the one who started all of this by telling her shitty kid that I wasn't Noah's Dad? Maybe she should have just kept her nose out of your business – how would she even know what I was to Noah? I could have been his biological Dad who preferred not to be known as his father…" Trevor was pacing now, throwing his hands around angrily. "she was presumptuous and rude."
She knew Trevor had a point. "I should at least try, changing schools and putting him in a new one while his anxiety around school is already high might not be the best idea…."
"Okay… that's fair," he nodded, drawing in a deep breath. Olivia was finishing up feeding Teddy and still needed to get changed. "Why don't you go and get ready and I can rub his back and wind him for a little," he suggested.
"Thanks baby," she got up and transferred him in to Trevor's arms. He paused to kiss her lips.
"Don't worry, we'll sort this out," he assured her, "we've got this…"
/
"Hey kiddo, look what I found!" Trevor announced to Noah who was sitting on the floor of the bookstore, pulling out books and reading them as best as he could to choose what he thought might be just the right one.
Noah looked to Trevor. He held up the classic Dr Suess book; "its exactly the same as your other one," he smiled at the little boy.
Noah beamed back and got to his feet and made his way the short distance to his father, "is it the exact same one?" he asked almost a little suspiciously.
"Yes," Trevor replied, lowering it, crouching down on his haunches to show him, "it's exactly the same, bud."
Taking him by surprise Noah threw his arms around him, almost sending him backwards. He managed to keep his balance and hugged him back, giving him a little squeeze. "You're the best Daddy," he told Trevor squeezing him back.
"That's because I have the best kid." He closed his eyes and relished the closeness between them. He loved that Noah shared his own love for books and he knew it was something that they'd always have in common.
Noah drew away from Trevor slightly so he could see the book again. "Bud," he began, "I am so sorry that Connor and the other kids were mean to you and took something that was special to you and destroyed it, but I need you to really understand that it wasn't your fault and you didn't deserve it."
Noah stared at the book and ran his hand over the hard cover of the fun rhyming story of the Fox In Sox. He avoided Trevor's eyes and opened the cover.
"And it's okay if you're upset about it, it must have really hurt your feelings and I just want to tell you that Mommy and I are upset for you as well. We just want you to be happy and we want you to have friends that will respect your belongings. Okay?"
He nodded. "How can I get the kids to like me?" he asked, drawing his eyes away from the book to Trevor. "I tried to share my book so that they would be my friends..."
Trevor just wanted to cuddle him again and give him all the answers but it became painstakingly difficult to come up with anything that might have provided a healthy solution.
"Noah, you are perfect as you are. I know you like to do your own thing, I know you love to read and I have to be honest with you, kiddo, that makes me so happy because Daddy loves to read too and I love it the most when we read together." He gave Noah a smile. "But you know what? I think you are such a good Tee-baller, you get along so well with your teammates and you're the best big brother that Elly or Teddy could have and you have such a kind heart," he pointed out all of Noah's wonderful qualities.
"But son," he started almost wincing at what he had to tell him, "you could be the most amazing, kind-hearted, caring, nice person and unfortunately we can't make everyone like us. Sometimes people can be cruel for no reason… but Mom and I are gonna do our best to figure this out for you so that this never happens again, okay?"
He nodded but looked a little like he might cry again.
"Give me the biggest hug!" he commanded his son.
Noah still looked a forlorn but never-the-less circled his arms around Trevor's neck. Trevor scooped him up, causing a surprised giggle to come from the little boy's mouth.
"There it is, that cute little laugh that Daddy loves so much!" Trevor exclaimed. "Now, did you pick out some books?" he asked him.
Noah nodded, "I can't choose, can you help me?" he asked.
"Of course and maybe we can choose more than just one because it's my special treat today…."
"But Mommy said-"
"I know," Trevor cut him off, "I know what Mom said, but I think Mom will be okay with it…."
/
"If you eat one more nugget you can go and play," Olivia told Elly, "but if you don't eat one more nugget, you are going to sit at the table until we are ready to leave, it's your choice."
Eloise whined and looked to Trevor knowing out of the two of her parents, he was less tough on her.
"Don't look at me, honey, you need to eat another nugget like Mommy said and you better do it quickly, Noah is almost finished his dinner and as soon as he is finished he's going to go play on the jungle gym." He nodded over toward the children's play area.
"I don't want it," she pushed her plate away. Olivia was glad Trevor didn't cave.
"Well, that's fine, that's your choice," Olivia wanted to clearly emphasize that she was giving Elly options, regardless of if they were the options that she would have been satisfied with. Liv reached across the table to take the plate away, "but you'll be sitting at the table while Noah plays."
"Nonono!" she rose her voice reaching for the plate back, ready to tantrum.
"Do not raise your voice in this restaurant, Eloise, use your manners..." Trevor warned her firmly.
"Would you like your plate back to eat your nugget?" Olivia asked her. Eloise nodded, glaring at her. Olivia almost laughed. Eloise reached for the nugget and dipped it in the ketchup and begrudgingly ate it.
"See, it's not that hard, is it?" Noah chipped in, "the nuggets are the best," he reminded her.
Eloise said nothing and continued eating until it was finished. Trevor lifted her out of the booth and set her on to the carpet. "Listen to me," he said firmly before they ran off, "be kind to the other kids in there, wait your turn, use your manners and if anyone is mean or unkind, you tell me, no fighting—got it?"
Both children nodded before they tried to walk to the jungle gym. As they got further away, Olivia murmured, delighted, watching Eloise grab for Noah's hand. "I fucking love those two so much!" she remarked.
Trevor chuckled and got up from his side of the booth and came around to Liv. "I love you," he told her. "I mean, I love them both too," he joked, giving a little wave of his hand, "but I'm crazy about you…"
Olivia laughed at his silliness and turned her body toward him in the booth. She raised her hand to his bristly cheek and stroked his skin with her thumb. "I am pretty crazy about you too… you were so gentle with Noah this afternoon and I can't tell you how soft that makes me," she felt his hand reach over hers on the tabletop. "he really needed that."
"He did need that, you're right." Trevor replied, sliding his fingers between hers. "And I was thinking… we do need to start discussing other options for school, if things don't change very quickly, I am not sending my son to the lion's den every day."
She understood his frustration. "Can we talk about it later?"
"Yes," he agreed, "but I don't think I'm going to change my mind about this, Liv… After the chat Noah and I had in the bookstore, I think it's past having a little word to Connor's Mom, it isn't going to change the behavior of all the other sweet little cherubs who are harassing our son on the daily."
She could tell he was getting worked up. "Okay, okay… we will look at new schools but I also would really like to speak to his teacher again to find out why the hell they didn't act today, we should have been called at the very least." She sighed.
"You're right," he felt her hand sliding down to his neck, "we should talk about this at home… we should enjoy this night out with the kids, Teddy is quiet, the kids look like they're enjoying themselves…" his voice trailed off.
"Yeah and I need some ice cream…" Olivia remarked.
Trevor laughed. "You're sweet enough, my Olivia…" he told her, leaning in to kiss her. She grinned at him as he pulled away. She slid her hand around to the back of his neck and guided him back toward her. Her mouth pressed against his, parting slightly to taste his tongue. "mmm," she purred.
"Olivia!" he hissed, "we're in public!" she knew he didn't really care, he was laughing.
"Better skip on dessert then and get ice cream on the way home or something because even though I can't … do much still, I really would love to make out with you on the couch after the kids go to bed and … maybe you should get a special treat of your own…"
"Uhhh…" he looked up at the roof as if he was thinking – his expression was a mixture of amusement and bashfulness, but he knew that Olivia was really feeling the frustration of feeling well enough to go back to normal duties, but having to follow doctor's orders. "you better stop talking because I repeat, we are in public and I don't want to have to walk around in uh… discomfort."
"You want me to shut my mouth?" she asked, raising her eyebrow. "You don't want me to tell you about how I want to…" she leaned in closer to his ear, "run my tongue all over your body and treat you like it's your fucking birthday?" she informed him as she ran her nails through the hair at the back of his nape causing a little shiver.
"Liv! Don't…" he felt a little heat overwhelming him at the thought. "It wouldn't be my birthday treatment unless we get to…" it was his turn, he leaned in close, pressing his mouth against her ear, "fuck."
She drew back away from him, wondering how he managed to instantly turn her on simply by the feel of his lips grazing against the shell of ear and the sound of his words reverberating within her.
He chuckled from the back of his throat. Olivia suddenly realized she hadn't looked up to make sure the children were alright. She glanced over his shoulder and clocked Noah and Elly climbing a netted ramp.
"Sorry, is something more interesting going on behind me?"
"Yeah," she replied, "making sure our kids haven't run off to join the circus while we weren't looking," she replied as she turned his attention back to him, "and also to clear my mind of any impure thoughts that you may have caused it," she added.
Trevor laughed. "So, did you want that dessert?"
"Ice cream," she told him, "we'll order it on the way home and have it delivered and the kids can eat and bathe and go to bed and I can eat my ice cream off you…"
"Fuck, Liv…" he let out a peel of laughter, shaking his head. "Stop it, we should wait until you can have sex again too, it's not fair."
"What?!" she exclaimed, "Trevor… are you seriously turning me down?" she asked, surprised and a tiny little bit hurt.
"No- I just—I feel guilty…"
She rolled her eyes. "Wow, should I have felt guilty for all those times that you've made me come and I have rolled over and gone to sleep?" she laughed in spite of herself. "Cos… I am not going to lie, Trevor, I really didn't give it a second thought."
He laughed too, "Are we really having this conversation right here?"
She felt her cheeks flush as she inched closer to him until he slid an arm around her shoulders, drawing her close. "Sorry," she apologized.
"No," he shook his head with an amused smile, "I love bad-ass direct Olivia Benson who knows what she wants, it's a turn on, but I'd rather be alone with you in privacy at this point and then I can kiss you the way I really want to kiss you."
He kissed her temple instead. "Let's get the kids home, fed, bathed, bed and we can … hang out for some Mom and Dad time if Teddy sleeps long enough," he told her.
"Okay, let's give the kids 10 more minutes to exhaust themselves," she replied.
"OK," he agreed, "in the meantime, snuggle in close, I'm feeling a little needy tonight."
"Well?" she smiled, "I can give you what you need…"
"I didn't necessarily mean that, I just want you close to me, in whatever capacity." He craned his head to face her, his height made him hover slightly above her smaller frame. A little smile crossed her lips. "I love you."
"I love you," she replied. "Like, a lot a lot."
He grinned at her, and kissed her mouth and then planted a kiss upon her forehead. They focused their attention on the kids playing, feeling happy and proud of the way they looked out for one another and stayed by each other's side.