Hi all, here's the latest installment. As usual, Joule belongs to me. Nothing else. Feel free to scream, shout, whisper, holler, comment, mutter, or just say something!

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3 days.

72 hours.

4,320 minutes.

Remus John Lupin had been avoiding me.

Sirius Orion Black had been smothering me.

I was about at my wit's end to tear out both their throats.

This was my life so far as a teenage werewolf. Well, teenage werewolf witch, or however you'd like to put it.

I'd stayed in the Hospital Wing a night longer to heal after the conversation with James, Sirius, Lily, and the unconscious Peter. Madame Pomfrey had kicked them out shortly after the ruckus, and demanded they give me peace and quiet in order to fully heal. Sirius had snuck back in later the next night after class using the cloak, but strangely I felt myself agreeing with Madame Pomfrey's directive – a first. I'd sent him back to the dormitories after a couple hours of watching him trying to enchant a set of robes with a particularly annoying itching spell. He'd resisted at first, wanting to camp out for the night, but I'd pled exhaustion.

Since I'd been released on Friday afternoon (with a worried sigh from Madam Pomfrey), he'd been glued to my side ever since. Or at least it felt like it.

It was like I had ants crawling underneath my skin, itching and begging me to release them. I'd been fidgeting more than often, trying to suppress them to no success. And as for the rest of my senses… they were driving me insane.

My eyesight (which was perfectly normal prior to being bitten) was now sharpened – every little movement from a quill dropping in Charms class to a Hufflepuff's panicked breaths caught my eye. Likewise, my sense of smell was picking up the obnoxious pixie powder perfumes and dragon scale colognes of students trying too hard to impress.

And don't even get me started on the hearing… we'll just say that I started to avoid going to the Great Hall at all costs due to the cacophony of so many voices overlapping and chattering in my head. It all put me on edge, and I felt like I was losing control of my own body. It was a bit unnerving, especially since I was under the impression that only the full moon would affect me from now on…but this. This was unexpected.

Every time the others asked me how I was doing or what was wrong, I avoided the question. It wasn't that I wanted to hide from them; it was that I didn't want to appear any more monster than I had to in front of them. At least not quite yet.

I wanted to speak to Remus. I wanted him to explain everything. I wanted him to tell me that this all was perfectly normal, and that I wasn't crazy.

It was a hard job, especially when he was putting in his full efforts to avoid my presence at all costs.

Bugger for him.

I'd braved Sunday morning breakfast in the Great Hall, hoping to catch him unawares at the table to no success – Lily had promptly informed me that he'd been eating as of late in the library, as she'd caught him working on a big Charms project there with Peter. So I'd suffered at the table, stuffing my face full of waffles to look relatively normal, while dying to race up and confront him once and for all.

How did he do it, every day? Constantly bombarded with the sights and the smells and the voices? I felt like I was about to snap, in a very, very bad way.

A much smaller part of me (that wasn't consumed by the annoyance) wondered why he didn't care, not at all, about me. After all, he'd bitten me, turned me into his own kind – shouldn't there be a sort of kinship between us now? I almost felt rejected by his lack of attention. Sure, I knew he felt guilty about the whole situation, but what about the aftermath? But even more than that, wasn't I his friend? Didn't I deserve at least an acknowledgement?

I channeled my frustration into gnawing on my waffle. Or rather, my fourth waffle, but who was counting?

James rose from the table, giving Lily a quick kiss on the cheek. "Well, I'll see you two on pitch – don't be late. We're practicing that new Hathaway swirling drop maneuver that I read about, and we'll need to get it right before our next match with Slytherin."

Sirius hummed in agreement to the side of me, nodding with his mouth full of egg.

"Actually." I said, swallowing my last bite of waffle (and restraining myself from grabbing a fifth victim just barely). "I might sit practice out this once. I think I need to give myself one more day to recover, and figured I'd just catch up on some of the mountains of homework. You should see the Transfiguration assignments that McGonagall gave me for missing class – it's mad."

James froze, his bag already swinging from his shoulder. Sirius likewise stilled his chewing, as he gave me a long side glance.

Lily merely chuckled from her own seat, already scribbling on her own work, head down. "Oh Merlin, now you've done it."

"Ah." James cleared his throat and ruffled his black hair for good measure. "Is that so, Joule? I suppose…I suppose I could make an exception just this once. Being the special circumstances and all."

Typical James. Although honestly I was expecting him to put up more of a fight – I was leaving him without a beater.

"Are you feeling okay?" Sirius said slowly. His tone was a practiced careful that I'd started to resent over the past couple days. It was as if I were a piece of china that he was worried about breaking, as if a wrongly placed word might cause me to shatter. I could also see his pulse quickened, fluttering in his throat from the corner of my eye.

Keeping my eyes on James, I answered. "I'm okay. I think I just need a break before getting back into the swing of things."

Clearing his throat, James nodded. "Of course. Of course. But Tuesday practice…"

"I'll be there. Bright and early. Promise." I smiled, pushing my empty plate away from me, as the fifth waffle was still tempting me from across the table. Seriously, Dumbledore needed to clear off the breakfast table already. The smells, although amazing and covering up most of the pubescent Hogwarts odors, were failing to hide Sirius' woodsy scent that instantly made me want to bury my face into his chest and inhale for days on end.

It was quite irksome.

"That's what I like to hear. Padfoot, see you in a bit." Pecking another kiss on the top of Lily's head, James trotted away with a skip in his step. He enjoyed being Quidditch captain entirely too much – although I would admit it was quite hilarious how Lily had taken to studying in the stands on some of the practice days, watching us fly. For someone who wasn't into the sport, she seemed quite into someone lately.

I stood, grabbing my own bag. It was time to hunt down a certain Moony and get some answers.

"Walk you to the Fat Lady?" Sirius rose along with me, swinging his legs over the bench. "I need to grab my practice robes."

I sighed internally, but accepted his offer. If he knew that I'd intended to find Remus, he would waylay me, I knew it, probably making some excuse that we should take some time before seeing each other after the accident. But I needed answers, and my bones were practically howling to get them.

Pun intended.

"You know…" Sirius started, as we walked down the main hall together towards the Grand Staircase. "We haven't started our visits to the good old house elves yet this year. I'm sure Binky and Nilly miss us and our burned soups."

"Your burned soups." I corrected, as we navigated through the crowds of students milling about on the weekend. "My soups were always creamy and delicious, which is why you always ended up sharing mine, instead of eating your own."

"It's not my fault these hands aren't made for cooking. Perhaps we can try baking this year, my sweet tooth has been positively aching as of late."

"And to think, Kreacher never shared any of his pastry-making tips with you – for shame." I remarked, as we climbed up, skipping the 11th step on the third staircase in unison. It was a trick step that you learned in first year, with a reasonable consequence of falling halfway through the staircase if you didn't.

Sirius scoffed, skipping the step as well while lightly holding my elbow in support. It seemed to almost burn me with his body heat, his light but firm grasp. I had the fleeting thought that he'd never let me go, and a frenzy of claustrophobic panic kicked up in my mind. Something was crawling around inside of me, clawing to make its way free and do…something.

"Kreacher was always my mother's creature and Merlin forbid any heirs of the noble House of Black touch a cooking utensil in their life, much less enter a kitchen." He said conversationally, keeping his touch on mine even after the tricky step. It was almost laughable how concerned he was about me, when I felt like I was the one about to explode, the one who was about to hurt someone.

I yanked my elbow away from his touch, as if burned. "You don't have to do that, you know."

"Do what?" He turned to me, his brow furrowed, and he glanced down at the distance I'd put between us as we continued to walk. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I muttered, as we finally approached The Fat Lady's portrait. The Fat Lady herself raised an eyebrow at us and swished the red wine in her glass with pursed lips. I knew the response would irritate him and get under his skin. We were always so direct with each other. And that was precisely the issue – I couldn't describe this, and he couldn't understand this at all. It was like a wall between us that neither one of us could scale, no matter how hard we tried. Insurmountable.

"Tell me." His voice deepened, and he stopped walking to stare at me. Gray eyes bore into me, as his fingers itched by his sides.

"I said, it's nothing." I rolled my eyes, then shifted my gaze to The Fat Lady to give the password. When I spoke, my voice was sharp. "In vino veritas."

She bowed, her white gown flowing in the breeze, and opened the portrait door inward to the common room before me. I took a step forward, when Sirius' body was suddenly there, blocking me. A quell of rage burst within me, and it set off a low growl in my mind.

"It's not nothing, Joule." He tipped my chin backed so he could look me in the eyes, and the monster inside me roared. "Tell me what's wrong, I can help."

I tore myself away from his touch again, and I swear he flinched.

"What's wrong is that you've been acting like I'm made of glass." I spat out, and it tasted like acid on my tongue. "Acting like a mother hen, never leaving me alone, acting like I'm about to break every bloody second, and I'm tired of it. I'm not your responsibility, and I'm not your penance. I just need some space to think without you breathing down my neck!"

Sirius froze, absorbing my outburst, then he straightened as if to shake it off like rain from the outside.

"Of course, love." He said smoothly, too smoothly, too gently. "I'm sorry; I know these past few days have been overwhelming, and I've been hovering. I'll give you some breathing room – let you get your bearings. It's only natural."

And for some reason, his words only made me angrier. Stirring the fire, burning me.

"It's not natural." I gritted out, my hands curling into fists. "It's not normal that I feel like this. Like I could just…" I turned away, breathing heavily to stare away at a mounted lamp in the hallway, watching its enchanted glow. Its low hum crackled with magic in a particular pattern, like electricity with a fast beat. My heart soon followed its tempo, thumping quicker and quicker until I could practically feel the blood racing throughout my body. Every drop, pumping through my veins. Fueling my every move.

"Joule, love, there's nothing you can do that would scare me." Sirius murmured, bringing my gaze back to him. And there he was, tall and lean with his long raven hair and his red and gold tie undone. Staring at me with his gray eyes, trying to catch every emotion that passed over my face. Trying to understand it all. Trying to understand me. I felt like I was about to combust and burst into flames. Like I was about to destroy everything.

Like I was about to destroy him.

The very thought of it made me reel back when he reached out his hand to mine, and finally a slight crinkle appeared in his forehead that didn't leave. It wasn't often that Sirius Black worried.

"Stay away from me." I said, drawing back away from the common room and back into the hall. "I'm serious. And don't follow me."

Sirius stared at me with a pained look, as if I'd just stabbed him in the chest or severed a limb. His throat bobbed as he swallowed. It was raw look at him, beneath his usual carefree mask, and it made me simultaneously want to wrap him in my arms and tear him apart until there was nothing left.

"I won't." He said, then paused for a moment to take a deep breath. "But don't forget to come back."

And with that, I fled into the hallway without a plan, just needing to get away from the burning and the self-loathing and, most of all, the ever-growing fear that my body was something that I could no longer control. It led me deeper into the corridor, up a couple of backend flights of stairs, then up a ladder.

My nose was following a particular scent, a rich sweetness that it couldn't wait to get hold of. Whereas my mind was disengaged, my body was set on finding its source, and I allowed it.

I didn't care where I was going at this point. My mind was whirling over my interaction with Sirius, and my conflicting feelings of wanting to protect him yet rip him apart to shreds. Therefore, it was a surprise when I ended up in a small tower room on the east side of the castle, finding a certain light brown-haired, lanky boy writing away at his parchment at a rickety desk. The room itself was almost too small to hold the desk, the boy, and the chair itself, and its fireplace was cold and dead. The air smelled like a scent of dark chocolate, familiar. Comforting. Sweet with a touch of bitter.

"So you've found me." Remus sighed, carefully tucking his quill and parchment into his bag beside him. He wouldn't meet my eyes. Naturally, in a very Remus-like way.

I cocked my head to the side, watching him busy himself and attempt to control the environment. The dark circles under his eyes had deepened, and unlike Sirius, his uniform was wrinkled but not in full disarray. His hands shook as he packed away his things, and I could see faint red scars covering them, bright and shiny new skin puckering. He seemed like he'd aged another few years over night, his clothes hanging off his frame limply.

I'd bet he lied to Lily about eating in the library. He wasn't likely eating at all.

Merlin, was everyone a martyr around here?

"I'm sorry I had to collapse the tunnel on you." I said, breaking the silence after it extended over a minute. "It was the only option at the time. But you look well, considering."

Remus looked at the empty fireplace, and the corner of his mouth tugged up. "I suppose I should count myself lucky that you're speaking to me."

"I wouldn't count yourself lucky just quite yet." I said lightly. "This year's prank war hasn't started. You might find yourself with a few extra Giggly-Snort charms before you know it. You know McGonagall loves it when you oink in class without transfiguring anything into a piglet."

"Joule, you don't have to do that."

"Oh, believe me – our senior year will be full of marauding, you can't dissuade me now."

"Joule." Finally turning to face me, he met my eyes with his own light blue orbs. "There are no words for how sorry I am about what happened. About what I did to you. It was my fault, and I'll live with that for every day of my life trying to make it up to you."

I stared at him. Hard. And felt very wolf-like.

"Then stop avoiding me." I said curtly. "Stop hiding, and stop being sorry. Show me what it means to be a werewolf. Teach me how to control it."

Remus sighed. "I wish it were that easy. I wish I had a handbook that I could give you, but I don't. All I have is years of guessing and maybes."

"Then give me your guessing and maybes, it's better than nothing. It's better than feeling like I'm losing my mind." I practically snarled.

"I can assure you that you're not losing your mind." He grabbed his rucksack from the floor and snatched a half-eaten bar of chocolate out of its side pocket. "Here, eat this. It'll make you feel better."

"I said, show me." I growled, approaching him so I stood just a couple hand widths from him. His chocolate was ignored in his outstretched hand, and I could smell it melting from his body heat. "I don't need a snack, I need to know what's going on, and why I feel like this."

"Joule…" he began, lowering the chocolate, and I could practically feel the excuse or speech coming on. It only made my anger flare up, buzzing my veins with a heady rage again. My limbs felt desperate for movement, for force, for violence, for release. My pulse was racing. Remus' own was steady, and it only made me more on edge by its consistent ebb and flow.

"Show me." I pushed his chest, making him stumble a few steps back. He looked surprised and confused and frail and it made my beast even angrier and hungrier and stronger. Taking a couple more steps, I pushed him again, harder. "Show me."

This time the force knocked him into a desk, which he stumbled against.

"I'm not going to fight you, Joule." He said, righting himself like a scarecrow in the wind. "I know you're itching for a fight right now, but that's not going to help you. You need to learn control."

"Then teach me." I rumbled, advancing on him again. Remus stood still, not retreating from my approach. He didn't flinch as I pushed him again, even harder, sending him and the desk flying back into a pile on the ground. "Teach me!"

With more grace than I expected of him, he was back standing without a scratch on him, nor a twinge. It only served to incense my anger even further, and I rushed him, sending us both into the far wall. His back hit the brick with a thud, and I grappled against his shoulders in a nonsensical rage.

"You need to breathe." He said calmly as I attacked – the dark circles under his eyes said that he'd encountered worse. "Breathe, in and out. Your wolf is only as strong as you let it be."

"That's. Not Advice." I yelled, attempting to claw him with my nails. "If you think I haven't tried that already, you should think again."

"Joule, you need to calm yourself."

"And you need to come up with a better strategy than telling me to calm down." I hissed, kicking him in the shin, and I wanted to roar in triumph when he flinched (just slightly).

"Believe me, I know what you're feeling right now." Remus said, batting away my swings, and I could sense that he was over the brawl. "Anger, frustration, depression, feeling like you're going to hurt the ones you love, you don't need to say it."

"You know nothing about how I feel." I huffed as he dodged another of my punches – it seemed that his reflexes were getting faster, or maybe he was starting to give a damn. In an instant, he snatched my wrists together and held them in front of me with one of his hands, forcing me to behave.

"You blew up on Sirius, didn't you?" He asked quietly.

It shut me up. The anger rushed out of me all at once, and when Remus let my hands go, they fell to my sides.

"I don't want to talk about it." I slid to the floor, my back against the wall. Remus followed suit, sitting next to me, cross-legged. We sat there for a few beats, allowing the sounds of the room to envelope us. The whooshing of the wind hitting the outside windowpane. The stabilizing beats of our hearts. Faint chatter of students drifting up from the courtyard. The patter of footsteps. The boom of doors shutting from hallways away.

"The first few weeks after you're…bitten are always the hardest." Remus said, staring off into the distance, his gaze on a far bookshelf. "Your body is adjusting to the new changes, and your emotions are heightened, and well, it's a moody time. I don't remember too much since I was only four, but from what my parents told me, I essentially turned into one big temper tantrum overnight. It does get better after your first full moon though, it helps you…make peace with your wolf."

"I didn't know you were four when it happened." I glanced at him from the corner of my eye.

"It was a long time ago." He sighed. "It was difficult on my parents as well, and we were all doing our best to cope. Needless to say, I've been wrong to avoid you, and I'm sorry. I was letting my own feelings get in the way and forgot how it felt to be newly changed. I want to be someone you can turn to, a resource, so you don't feel like you're in this alone."

"Hey." I nudged him in the side. "You're not alone in this either anymore. We can both be there for each other; it's not a one-way street. What are friends for? But especially, what are werewolf friends for, if not that?"

He chuckled under his breath. "I've never had a werewolf friend before."

"Consider it a furry upgrade." I said. "Although this does not give you a pass to steal my pumpkin pasties at dinnertime. Those are still off-limits no matter what type of friend you are."

"Duly noted. I'll make sure to remember that."

"So…" I started, fumbling for the words. "Does this mean you're my tutor for all wolfy things?"

"As long as you don't steal my treacle tarts." He smiled, his eyes crinkling making his face seem younger and not nearly as serious. "We can start the real lessons tomorrow and go over the basics. Let's meet in the Room of Requirement after dinner to be safe."

My wolf inside was quiet, and I felt it brush up against my mind with a cold nose. It seemed like it was pleased with Remus and I's arrangement. For the moment, I felt like my old self.

I guess it was time for Werewolf Puberty 2.0 to begin.