The scarlet imp stares miserably into slated walls.
Where was he? and how did he get here? he thought to himself.
"Did they abandon me?"
It still hurts, after all these fucking, long years. Losing a mother is something you never get over. The pain may ebb over time, but it never goes away, always gnawing.
Festering. The growing emptiness
It was his fault, or so they say.
The reason why he is left alone.
Always there, always lurking.
The voices never stop: at times a dull murmur in the back of his mind.
Waiting to get me alone, to pray on my fears"
Tilla's death, her absence was the catalyst to something much darker.
There is no way to measure a love of a mother, she was the binding glue holding them together, shielding him from the ugly truth. Blitzo was the master of evasion. but he couldn't avoid the numbing ache in his chest. the engulfing sorrow that rose from tonight's. shitty events. Swallowing his pride he hides behind hollowed laughter and cheap thrills and kills.
But tonight was different, Being alone hurt.
Images echo and taunt him through still photographs, memories he long burried whisper in his head.
Disembodied voice echo.
He had forgotten so much, the sound of her voice, the warmth of her embrace. In a blink: a horrible twitch everything had changed.
His childhood ended abruptly.
His mom fought for her life against an abusive asshole.
The screams, those horrible screams and there was nothing he could do.
He was forced to grow up, hard and fast. Sold into the Dark Circus. because his slimy good for nothing father, needed to make a cheap buck.
Nothing was the same, but he had Barbie-Wire, and that was enough.
Then the unabashed Fizzoralii appeared. shinning his light bringing Blitzo out of his shell and into the limelight of a new life.
Fizz didn't understand.
Where did he belong?.
How did he get home, and who did he call?, he didn't remember driving.
And who would want him?. this used up Harlequin?
Bitter resentment swelled within him, as he rips a photo from the wall and tears it in two. Amber eyes shone through the darkness. photos litter the walls many with scratched out faces.
"They'd be better off without me"
"It should've been me that day, but it wasn't it should've been me in that coffin" but here I am.
Tilla's funeral had really hammered it home.
She was gone.
It should've been me laying in that velvet trimmed coffin surrounded by moon lilies, and mourners.
It was his mother's love that protected him that day, and when Fizz revealed his mamma's choker to the distraught imp, Blitzo broke down crying.
The unbridled sorrow he felt nearly took his breath away, pain laces through his chest, tightening.
Countless of times he thought about ending his life.
Fizz was there to stop him back then, but who is stopping him now?.
"Would anybody mess him when he's gone.
"Doubtful, they'd probably throw my dead body out, with the garbage and forget about me"