Chapter 14 - Domestication
Loki dreamed of the ocean- of an ever-shifting canvas of turquoise, cerulean, azure and sapphire blue, and the rhythmic crush and flow of waves against sun-warmed sand. He dreamed of wildflowers pushing their bright heads between craggy cliffs and of the cry of seagulls wheeling overhead. He dreamed about a woman standing at the edge of the water, dabbing her toes in the tide. He couldn't see her face. The wind was whipping auburn curls around her head. He tried to call out her name, but he couldn't summon the word to his lips.
He was still struggling to pull the answer from his mind when he became aware of tiny kisses on his neck and sunlight warming his face.
He opened his eyes.
The dream began to fade.
"No!" Loki cried aloud, but it wasn't any use. The vision was gone. Loki was awake in an unfamiliar bed.
"Good morning, husband," a woman lying next to him said. She was not the vision from his dream. Her hair was coal black, and there was a sparkle of mischief in her eyes that was at odds with the serenity of the lady by the water. Angrboda...This name came readily to Loki's mind, although he wasn't certain where he was- or how he had gotten there.
Angrboda was already awake, propped up on one slender arm, watching him intently as he processed what she had said.
Loki's brow furrowed. "Husband...?"
"Have you forgotten already?" Angrboda answered with a laugh. One of her cool white hands smoothed over his chest and she moved to straddle his hips. "Perhaps you need another reminder?"
Loki didn't have an answer for what Angrboda did next. Pleasure, almost too intense to endure, chased the questions out of his mind. Very soon, his lover had banished the doubts from his consciousness. When they finally climbed out of bed, hours later, the memory of the dream was gone, replaced with vague recollections of the stories Angrboda had told him: how Odin had refused his marriage to a simple sorceress, how they had run away, how they had tricked Hambli and the dwarfs to steal the Azimuth...
"And now we are home," Angrboda said. "I can teach you how to wield the Azimuth and together we can reclaim what is rightfully yours..."
Loki nodded his head in agreement with the woman's words, embarrassed to admit that he didn't really know what she was talking about.
"The dwarfs cast a spell on you," Angrboda reassured him. "It was part of their tricks...but the enchantment will fade in time and all of your memories will return. You have me to look out for you until then."
Loki nodded his head and smiled, despite his misgivings. He hated that he couldn't remember how he and Angrboda had met...their first kiss...the decision to flee from Asgard. It was all a blank. As beautiful and as accommodating as Angrboda was, he hated being dependent, but it appeared that he had no choice.
Angrboda eventually emerged from the bed, pulling on a dress and slippers. He followed her lead, donning the clean trousers and tunic that were folded in a chair nearby and then he followed his wife down the stairs to eat.
"I hope that feel like eating eggs and honeycakes," Angrboda said as they walked down the stairs. "That is what I'm serving for breakfast."
Loki made a sound of approval. Angrboda must know him well- honeycakes were his very favorite morning meal. "I love them," he assured her.
"I know," she responded smugly, "We had them at our first breakfast together."
"Did we?" Loki asked.
Angrboda nodded. "You ate a whole basket."
"I see!" Loki responded in mock-annoyance. "You're trying to fatten me up!"
"Don't worry," Angrboda teased him back, "I'll see that you get plenty of exercise so that you don't grow fat."
Loki laughed and then pulled her toward him. He planted a kiss on her cherry red lips.
Angrboda moaned in approval. She opened her mouth, coaxing him to deepen the touch. Loki was about to submit when a terrifying sound rang through the cottage: the anguished howl of a wolf!
The call was so loud and so near that Loki thought at first that the animal was in the hall. Glancing around, however, he saw that the cry had actually come from outside.
A wolf was perched on top of a woodpile underneath the window, its head reared back as is made its baleful yowl. It was one of the most exquisite beasts that he had ever seen: large, but graceful, with fur so white that the creature was almost invisible against the snow. Light blue eyes, a black nose and a pink tongue were the only points of color that he could see. His gaze swept over the animal. For just a second, their eyes met.
"Loki! It's me! You have to help me! Angrboda turned me into a wolf! You're in danger!"
Loki staggered backwards, clutching his head as a stabbing pain glanced through his temple. Despite the discomfort, he tried to look at the wolf again. He thought that he had heard it speak!
Loki felt Angrboda's hand on his arm, pushing him back from the window.
"GO!" she cried at the creature.
The wolf scrambled backwards, falling off the stack of logs. It landed inelegantly in the snow, but immediately climbed back again.
"Help me!"
"Angrboda- I think that wolf is trying to...to talk!" Loki said. "I think-!"
"Don't be ridiculous!" The sorceress hissed. She pulled him back toward the kitchen. "They come around here looking for food. Just ignore it."
"But-!" Loki started to protest, but Angrboda practically shoved a honeycake into his mouth.
"Don't you like that, darling?" she cooed, changing the subject. Her voice regained a calm, solicitous tone, but he could read the tension in her body.
"It's delicious," he said absently, not really tasting the sweet. "But the wolf-!"
"I have it under control," Angrboda said. She walked to the wall and took down a silver whistle on a leather thong that was hung there on a peg. She brought the instrument to her lips and blew. To Loki's ears there was no sound at all, but Angrboda smiled before she returned it to the shelf. "Eat your breakfast," she said firmly. "We have a lot of work to do."
Loki fought back the desire to scowl. He didn't mind being fawned over, but he did object to being treated like a child. He was certain that there was something about the wolf that Angrboda wasn't telling him- but she refused to engage in the conversation again.
After breakfast, Angrboda led Loki into a small workroom at the back of the house. Loki made a sound of appreciation as he crossed the threshold. Despite it's modest size, it was a sorcerer's wonderland, stocked from ceiling to floor with books of spells, potions ingredients and every other manner of implement that was useful in magic. He ran his hands over the flasks and bottles and scrolls, itching with the desire to start concocting new enchantments- but uncertain where to start first!
Loki's pride was stung by the notion that Angrboda's skill exceeded his own, but it was apparent from her first demonstration that the sorceress had much to teach. They passed several hours reviewing basic spells and curses before Loki remembered the crystal crown.
"The power of the Azimuth is great," Angrboda warned him. "You must be prepared before you wield it, or King Salkin's fate will be better than your own."
Loki frowned, insulted. "I used it already to find my way here!" he said without thinking. He remembered huddling in the mouth of a cave, surrounded by wolves, with the temperature dropping...
"What?" Angrboda exclaimed. Her voice was unusually loud and high. "No you didn't...darling- I know the way to my own home! We came through the crack in the mountain at the mouth of the stream! That's the way from Asgard. I led you here."
Loki blinked, surprised. He tried to concentrate on the flash of memory that had popped into his mind, but Angrboda's voice interrupted.
"You're tired and confused," she said tenderly. "And no wonder! I should have had your dinner hours ago! Come, darling!" She plucked a spellbook out of his hand and led him back to the kitchen.
After dinner, Angrboda poured Loki a cup of mead. "Drink up, my love," she encouraged him, watching until every drop was gone. "Tomorrow we can start working with the Azimuth," she told him. "You know- I was thinking about what you said earlier- about finding our way home..."
"Finding our way home?" Loki repeated, but he didn't have any idea what she was talking about. "Did we talk about that?"
"I must have been mistaken," Angrboda said with a devious grin. "Now, darling- we should go to bed."
That night, Loki dreamed of the ocean again. This time, instead of the woman, it was a wolf at the edge of the waves. The sea winds ruffled it's pure white fur as it ran back and forth in the surf.
"Loki, help me!" A voice cried out. "Angrboda turned me into a wolf! You're in danger!"
He tried to help, but his feet refused to move. Loki simply stood and watched, the pleas ringing in his ears, as the wolf moved further and further away.
The second day passed much as the first. Loki was awoken by Angrboda's kisses. After an extended bout of lovemaking, they headed downstairs to eat.
This time, there was no sign of the white wolf. Fresh snow had fallen during the night, erasing any sign of its presence the day before. Loki felt disappointed. There was something odd about the wolf- a mystery that he wanted to solve- but once again, Angrboda allowed him very little time for contemplation. After breakfast, she led him into the workshop to practice magic again.
This time, as promised, Angrboda placed the Azimuth on top of Loki's head. "You must remember Salkin's downfall," she told him, "and be very careful about the questions that you ask. If you seek out the answers to trivialities, you will quickly become disoriented and confused- and the weight of the knowledge will become too much to bear. Remember that the Azimuth is a tool to aid the cause of your people, and not a toy...You should only pose queries that will aid your realm...issues worthy of a king."
"Such as?" Loki asked.
"Such as..." Angrboda paused, "Such as: What are the weaknesses in Asgard's defenses? That is an important thing to know! It can stave off an attack! Here...close your eyes and focus..."
Loki did as he was told, giving all of his attention to the question. At first, nothing happened. Then, the crown began to glow.
"Walls..."
He heard the word inside his mind and then repeated it aloud to Angrboda.
"Excellent!" she exclaimed.
"That's all?" Loki asked, underwhelmed.
Angrboda nodded her head eagerly. "Yes, of course- you can't expect the crown to spell out everything,can you? It told you what you need to focus on...Now, as king, you know to focus on the walls. What sort of weaknesses can you think of?"
Loki pondered Angrboda's words, deciding that she might have a point. Off the top of his head, he could think of a handful of issues with Asgard's outer defenses. They stones were old. During the long peace, Odin had allowed portions to fall into disrepair.
"The river gates have rusted open," Loki said after a long pause. "They still look sound, but it wouldn't be possible to close them in a hurry...and the east wall has a crack in its foundation. It is starting to crumble. Father was going to rebuild it, but his advisers claimed that there wasn't any need..."
"Excellent!" Angrboda exclaimed. She coaxed two more problems out of Loki before she put the crown away. "Remember, with every answer, the crown will become heavier and more difficult to use. That is why it is important that you don't become too dependent and always remember to use your own intelligence to supplement what it says."
After practicing with the Azimuth, Loki and Angrboda turned their attention to more mundane forms of magic. Once again, they worked until after the sun had set. They ate their dinner. Then, just before bed, Angrboda gave Loki a cup of mead.
Very quickly, they settled into a routine. They rose from bed well after the sun had risen, broke their fast, and then worked with the Azimuth. Angrboda usually suggested the questions. She encouraged Loki to ask about the strength of Odin's army and the ways that the ranks could be improved, to inquire about the fortifications of the palace, and ways that the royal family were at risk, to think about intrigues at the court and how blackmail might disrupt the government, about who was truly loyal and who he thought turned traitor in the face of a threat.
After every session, Angrboda locked the Azimuth away inside a wooden chest. "In case of thieves," she told Loki, hinting that Jotun raiders would occasionally wander up the cottage path. She never let Loki ask the questions that he suggested, such as: why he still hadn't recovered his memories, if his family had noticed his absence, and- most importantly- if he would ever be allowed to go home.
"Those are not the questions of a king," Angrboda said, her sweet voice temporarily taking on a tone of condescension. "They are the worries of a frightened boy- which is something that you, my love, are not. The answers to those queries are for time and the Norns to reveal."
Loki didn't dare to mention the other things he wanted to ask: Had the white wolf really spoken to him? Why did it haunt his dreams? And who was the woman by the water?
Loki was not an overly patient man, and so it was frustrating to wait for a chance to use the crown on his own. Weeks slipped past. Night and day, Angrboda was always at his side. Some evenings, when the moon was full, Angrboda would blow on her silver whistle and the wolves would gather at the cottage, laying tributes of wild game and fish on the steps outside the door. Loki was alarmed the first time that it happened- each of the animals was three times Angrboda's size with razor-sharp claws and four inch teeth, but the enchantress was undaunted. Loki quickly discerned that the whistle gave Angrboda power over the beasts. Even the most timid and reluctant would step forward at its call.
A large black wolf with shaggy fur and a scratched face seemed to be Angrboda's favorite. He came to her side even without the whistle and she rewarded him with chunks of meat and lavish praise. Once or twice, the sorceress followed the animal into the woods, but only for a moment or two. Loki was never outside of Angrboda's sight for long.
At first, the woman's constant company and fawning appreciation had been a balm to Loki's lonely soul, but his enjoyment started wearing thin. For all of the time that they spent together, there was no closeness between them. Angrboda was as much a mystery to him now as she had been the first morning that he woke up in her bed- and not one that he was particularly keen to unravel.
As much as he admired Angrboda's beauty, coveted her skill at magic and enjoyed her talents in the bedroom, Loki knew that his words were a lie when he parroted back the "I love you" that she told him every night. He still couldn't remember their first days together, so he didn't know if his feelings for Angrboda had faded or if they had never been true at all. Perhaps he had married the woman to further some purpose? Maybe it was the only way that he could convince her to share her knowledge of sorcery? Loki knew himself too well to doubt that these might have been his motives- but until his memories returned, there was only one way to find out. He had no choice but to bide his time until Angrboda finally left him by himself.
Spring- such as it was- came to the Iron Wood. Snow continued to blanket the ground, but the stream behind the cottage thawed. A few brave flowers pushed their blossoms up through the icy carpet, making the occasional splotch of color on the endless expanse of white. Inside the cottage, Life continued as usual. Loki felt that he would soon go mad with boredom. He was surprised- and relieved- when Angrboda announced one evening that Loki would have to spend the night without her.
"There is something that I must tend to in the forest," Angrboda said cryptically, and then stopped talking. Her features tensed as though she were in pain. She moaned quietly. A moment later, her face relaxed again. "I will return to you in the morning. Your supper is on the stove and your mead is by the bed."
Loki nodded. He was curious about Angrboda's errand, but anxious for her to leave.
Loki walked Angrboda to the door and then watched until she disappeared into the woods. As soon as he was certain that she had gone, he slipped into the workroom to retrieve the crown.
Angrboda's chest was locked and warded, but Loki quickly defeated the spell. He settled the crown onto his head and then took a steadying breath.
"When will I return to Asgard?" he asked. He waited for the familiar blue glow...but this time, nothing happened.
"When will I return to Asgard?" Loki asked again. This time, he spoke the question out loud, in case that made a difference.
"Who is the woman by the water in my dream?" Loki demanded when she silence continued. Then, when there was still no reply, he tried a question that he had asked many times before. "What are the weaknesses in Asgard's defenses?"
There was still no reply. The Azimuth remained silent and dim.
Loki took the crown off of his head and turned it over in his hands, trying to figure out what was wrong. He retraced his actions and compared them with what he had done in Angrboda's presence that very morning. Everything was exactly the same!
Except for the fact that Angrboda isn't here...A treacherous little whisper invaded his thoughts and refused to be pushed aside. Loki searched for another way to account for what had happened, but his efforts were in vain. Angrboda was doing something to affect the crown- that was the only explanation that made sense. But why? There was something that she wasn't telling him. Loki was suddenly certain that his wife was not entirely what she seemed.
Anger bubbled up inside of him. His first instinct was to storm through the woods after her and to demand the answers he sought- but he was not as impulsive as his brother, Thor. He quickly regained his composure and thought his options through. Confrontation was a dangerous tactic. If he let on that he knew Angrboda was keeping secrets, she would probably redouble the effort that she took to conceal them and he might never learn the truth. Although it galled him, Loki realized that his best chance at uncovering her plan was to pretend that nothing was wrong.
Swallowing his anger, Loki put the Azimuth back in its hiding place. He ate the dinner that Angrboda had left for him, and then climbed up the stairs to bed.
Loki was feeling calmer as he changed his clothes. As long as Angrboda thought that everything was normal, he held the upper hand. He was a master of deception and he was confident that he could quickly unravel her lies. It was only a matter of time until all was revealed.
Loki actually managed a small smile as he climbed into bed. Out of habit, he reached for the cup of mead on the bedside table, but his hand stilled just before the drink reached his mouth. Angrboda prepared the drink for him ever night. It was possible that this was simply something that she did to please him- but all of her actions were suspect now. Loki carried the cup to the fireplace and tossed its contents onto the flames before returning to bed.
He briefly regretted his actions. Without the alcohol, his mind refused to settle and it was a long time before he fell asleep. When he finally managed it, he dreamed of the ocean yet again.
The white wolf was running through the waves.
"Loki, help me!" a familiar voice cried out again. "Angrboda turned me into a wolf! You're in danger!"
This time, he found the source of the voice. The animal suddenly disappeared, replaced by the woman with auburn hair. At last, she turned toward him. He was stunned to see that she had the same light blue eyes as the wolf. They were full of fear and warning.
He reached for her and tried to scream out her name. It was on the tip of his tongue. Loki could feel the words forming in his throat, but he couldn't push them past his lips.
Behind the woman, a giant wave was cresting. Huge and dark, it was speeding toward the shore, but she was facing toward him. She didn't see it!
He had to answer! He had to warn her! He had to remember her name!
Loki awoke with a start. His skin was icy, but the sheets were drenched in sweat. A name was on his lips.
"Sigyn." He spoke into the darkness.
He had to save her. He had to get her back.
A/N - Your comments were absolute life-savers this time! I was sort of dreading this chapter, which is sort of bridge between bits that interest me more, and I think I would have lost my desire to write completely without all of your kind words and reminders that you are reading urging me on. Thank you so much! Special thanks to Cridelamouette (did you see that I put some crying seagulls in this chapter for you? ;)) and LillianClaire who did a fanart for me. You can see her vision of Sigyn at lillianclaire . deviantart . com
To answer a question from the comments: No, this particular fic will not continue through the movie. However, I have received a request for a movie "outtake" which I am going to work on soon and will post as a stand-alone.