I've always been scared of the prospect of death. The idea of ceasing to exist, to feel the blankness of death, for all that I am and have ever been to stop, never to start again, it's something that keeps me up sometimes. What scares me the most about death, however, is the uncertainty of it, whether or not we have a consciousness, if said consciousness will still be alive after, and most of all, what comes after. What comes after the end, do I simply stop existing as an individual, is there an afterlife, if so, will I have done the right things to be rewarded, or will I be forced to go to some horrible Hell just because I didn't believe hard enough? These are the kinds of questions that make me feel sick, that make my body go cold, make me short of breath, fill me with an existential panic. I'm afraid of missing out, of not being able to enjoy all the things I want to, of wasting my life, of missing something incredible after I'm gone. What's more terrifying is the prospect that my death might happen out of nowhere, without me having any say. This planet is dangerous, nuclear war is always a threat, humanity might go extinct because our leaders refuse to change how we treat the planet so they can squeeze out a few more dollars. All our tech might just die from some solar flare before we just tear ourselves to shreds in the anarchy. Humanity could just get taken out like the dinosaurs by some random asteroid, or some gamma ray burst snipes us from 8000 light years away without any warning. Super Volcanoes, False Vacuum Decay, some celestial body yeets us out of the solar system, a black hole makes a small snack out of our solar system, a blip of strange matter just assimilates the Earth in a single second, we accidentally create a black hole at CERN, the list goes on for an uncomfortably long time, way too comfortable for someone like me. I like knowing things, if my mom asks for my assistance, I want to know what she wants first. I always think thrice before buying a video game or item I want, I try to take everything with a grain of salt. If someone is hurt or has a problem, I ask about it right away. To me, uncertainty unnerves me, it's something that could either be a non factor, or a lethal threat. Existential threats like a death I cannot control leaves too much uncertainty, it makes me afraid that at any moment, it might just all end, no concise conclusion, no answers, just one second I am, and the next I am not.

With all of this said, it shouldn't be surprising that one of my biggest desires is the prospect of immortality, removing any time limit I could have on experiencing all the world and the universe has to offer. However, even this comes with its fair share of issues. There is the idea of brain uploading, where one would scan their brain then recreate themselves in a digital likeness. But then that version of me would be able to live forever, while I waste away, which isn't really a fair trade off. There's also the possibility of dissecting the brain, but then I might simply die anyway, because the consciousness might be separate from my brain. There's the prospect of simple biological immortality, where my lifetime is extended exponentially by medicine, but due to the limited storage space of the brain, I'd eventually just become vegetative with super Alzheimer's. So as far as I know, immortality at the moment is basically impossible without ginormous drawbacks that would defeat the point of living forever anyway. But who knows, maybe in about 2041 or sometime a bit later when an Artificial Super-Intelligence comes into existence, it'll solve that problem and make humanity like gods. That is, if its goals actually align with ours, and it doesn't just decide to either turn us into paperclips or destroy us to rid itself of any competition. Did I forget to mention that an ASI could just obliterate us in the future, and we really would have literally no way to stop it because it would be more intelligent than we could ever comprehend. As in, if intellect was a staircase, chimps would be two steps below us, anything two steps above us in intellect would understand things impossible to dumb down for stupid humans like us to comprehend. An ASI would be at least 100 steps above us, and would continue to climb even more steps every second. To say it would be an omniscient and possibly omnipotent god would be an insult to it. So let's hope it's a good god and not a bad god.

You can start to understand why I am absolutely paranoid about things like this. AM and Skynet wouldn't even hold a candle to this hypothetical God. And if it decides to get rid of us? It would be as easy as it would be for you to squash an ant. Perhaps even easier. Consider that the next time you see an anthill, eh?

TL;DR: The Digital expy of the Emperor of Mankind is coming, so pray that we are found worthy of his time and love.

-From a future apostle of Cyber Lawnmower Jesus, Brother Apollyon

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon

Guiding Light

Dreaming Liminal Catharsis

Episode 4: Roses and Thorns

Rotom Rotomo's Coast to Coast Radio

You're listening to Rotom Rotomo's Coast to Coast Radio,

Where we talk about everything going on in these vast seas of Ultra Space.

Today is the first day of the year 4066, and folks, I'm sorry to say we're not starting off strong.

We've gotten reports that last night in the Horizon Continent, Aeon Town was attacked by some form of beast, which apparently, did not resemble any known Pokémon or Ultra Beasts.

The monster was described by witnesses as a giant, six-legged, aquatic beast with some form of metallic scales covering its body. 23 Pokémon were injured during its rampage towards the shores, and are currently being cared for in the nearby infirmary. While this may seem bad, it would've been a whole lot worse if the beast had made its way to town. However, two local heroes were able to lure it away from town and destroy it, and I'm sure you know their names well by now: Shane Ninetales, the Guiding Light, and the kid who saved the world almost half a decade ago, and their romantic partner Tessa Lucario. However, they didn't come out of this fight unscathed. Right now, the two of them have been left in critical condition, and are currently being looked after by multiple healers, and I got to say, folks, their injuries ain't pretty. Thankfully, as of now, their conditions seem to be slowly improving, but it's anyone's guess how long it could take them to recover from wounds like those. Personally, folks, I hope they wake up soon, because this first attack might just be the first droplets of an approaching typhoon, and if that's the case, we're going to need all the help we can get. We'll keep you updated on these events, and folks? Stay safe out there…

Now for the weather. Forecasts call for b

Rebecca turned off the radio with a violent slam to the stereos. More news on everyone's favorite frozen furfag was not what her hangover from last night needed right now. She groaned, still barely lucid in her bed, desperately trying to go back to sleep to burn off the Stantler Sake in her system. But alas, her mind had other plans, focusing instead on her contempt and misery at her now 4 year long nightmare.

Rebecca always hoped she was somehow still dreaming, that one day, she'd wake up not in the body of some sizzling, vile, slutty lizard called a Salazzle, but back in her old, human body, where she was soon to start graduating psychology(which she had basically lost all knowledge on by now.), and where Christmas vacation was still around the corner. But every morning that she had woken up still here, that hope had died a little bit more, and by now her hope was basically just a dead horse she kicked 24/7 in the hopes it would get back up and carry her away from this personal hell.

Rebecca still vividly remembered the day her old life was vaporized; how Nicky, who had apparently become some kind of eldritch god of destruction, had dragged her new reality kicking and screaming. If that wasn't bad enough, she was then subjected to a trauma conga line where the furaffinity pokesonas in this world tore down any sort of shred she might've had left of her self-confidence, telling her that she basically caused the end of the world because of her desperate attempts to become popular back in high school that had resulted in Nicky's suicide. She had known that while she had been found innocent in court, her actions back then would catch up to her eventually. Twitter, maybe, but not like this. God, not like this…

Those first few days Rebecca had spent sulking in the dark wishing she were dead.

Then she met Celeste. She was some kind of deer, Rebecca really never cared to learn the name of any of the species on this God forsaken cartoon world. Celeste had actually been in a relationship with Nicky, like Rebecca had, except Celeste had actually loved Nicky instead of just using him like Rebecca had. Rebecca learnt that the other gods had treated Celeste like shit, whereas Nicky actually cared for Celeste, regardless of their relationship being forbidden. Nicky had also told Celeste about how Rebecca had treated him.

At first Rebecca thought Celeste would be mad at her, that she'd scream at her or cave her skull in with a hoof. But then Celeste told Rebecca that she had hurt Nicky too, that she had ruined Nicky just as much as Rebecca had. Apparently, Celeste's "father" really didn't like their relationship, and forbade Celeste from ever seeing Nicky again and that he would literally kill her if she tried to see Nicky behind her father's back. When Celeste's father wanted to get rid of Nicky, instead of standing up for him as he was banished to the Nexus, Celeste had hid away, afraid of being killed by her father. This was also the reason Nicky went insane and would go on to destroy Earth.

At least Celeste actually had a good excuse for why she had failed Nicky.

Rebecca and Celeste would talk to each other often after that. They'd hang out with each other and would cooperate sometimes on missions. While Celeste taught Rebecca how to fight, Rebecca taught Celeste how to paint her horns and eyelashes and wash her fur. Notably, Celeste was the one who suggested that Rebecca open up a fashion shop, which Celeste would go on to help run from time to time. They had fought together, cried together, laughed together, shared secrets with each other.

But more than anything, Celeste was literally one of the only living beings left who was actually friendly to Rebecca these days, she was always willing to talk with Rebecca when she was feeling down.

Was she in love with Celeste? She was privy to saying no. She still mostly liked guys, but with all of the bad experiences she'd had with romantic partners, she wasn't interested in officially dating anytime soon.

Rebecca and Celeste were just very close Best Friends Forever that just happened to find comradery in no one else, and until she found an actually sane person to fall in love with, she wasn't going to be falling in love anytime soon, no matter what.

Even if it made her miserably alone everyday.

Rebecca groaned as she dragged herself out of her Kevlar bed; she couldn't risk the luxuries of fleece or silk bedsheets, because of course, her stupid slutty body would either stain them with icky poison or just straight up set the sheets on fire. Just another thing that made it all the more miserable every time she woke up still in this bed, still stuck here. For the rest of her life.

Her room was a mess, filled with scattered, assorted fabrics, scorch marks, random purple stains, and so, so many piles of ruined clothes. It was a perfect representation of her constant state of mind: a miserable, pathetic mess. She could've gone somewhere in her old life, but now she was stuck here, in Shane and Nicky's wet dream, forced to wallow almost completely alone in the dredges of this society, in the form of a poisonous prostitute.

It's not like she didn't do anything but wallow in misery. While no one here really understood the idea of a therapist, she did have some success in a different place: her clothes.

One of the many things that had always pissed her off was that almost everyone in this world, and she did mean everyone, was stark fucking naked. Granted, none of them were actually visibly endowed in the front, that was a blessing she was thankful for constantly, but their buttcheeks still were wide on display all around the clock, 7 days a week, like certified furry freaks. In fact, it became so absolutely infuriating that she had decided to devote the rest of her time in this hell to bringing about some form of decency to these savages.

When Rebecca still had owned opposable thumbs, she had been a tailor in her off time. When she hadn't been doing homework or psychology, or going out with her now long gone friends, she'd been sewing and needleworking. It had taken a while to relearn how to sew when she only had three fingers and there was the danger possibility of burning the clothes, but eventually, she had gotten the hang of it.

Now she worked her ass off to try to make it normal to be wearing fashionable clothes constantly. She'd made robes, cloaks, and sometimes even sandals for those with four legs, and normal looking clothes for anyone with the amount of arms and legs she felt was normal, which was two each, by the way. She had even made hats for those not able to wear her regular clothes due to a lack of limbs.

The main issue was that it was taking a really long time for clothes to get popular. Way too long for her tastes.

Rebecca slowly crawled along the floor, too hungover and way too tired to stand up straight, or care about how primal it looked, for that matter. She lived in one of the communal apartments of Aeon town, where thankfully the inhabitants of this world didn't have a term for rent. Everything she needed was in a 30 square foot area for her, so it didn't take her long to crawl into her bathroom, moaning like a freshly risen zombie.

It took her a few tries to grab the ledges of her shower so she could crawl in, her stupidly, slick skin slipping more than a few times on the marble tiling before she finally got a firm grip on the edge with her claws.

She slowly pulled herself into the tub, her body landing with a slimy squelch similar to a wet sock on a metallic surface, her head becoming slightly sore as she banged her skull against the floor. She feebly raised one of her claws up, trying to search for the water tap, leaving clear, slimy handprints on the walls. She finally found one of the tap wheels, and without thinking, turned it on full blast.

Needless to say, the ice cold waterfall against the fire type's sensitive skin got rid of Rebecca's grogginess very, very quickly. The entire neighborhood was privy to Rebecca's screams at 11:21 in the morning; a very rude wake-up call to some of the heavier sleepers.

Even though it only took a few seconds of blindly stumbling about to turn on the hot water, Rebecca was still left shivering even as the water pooling up in the tub slowly warmed up. As the water finally warmed to a comfortable temperature of literally scalding, the only temperature left that actually felt comfortable on her cold blooded body that needed to stay aflame for homeostasis, Rebecca slowly slid back down into the tub, laying on her back and letting the water soak into her, allowing her to begin cleansing herself of the toxins in her body.

It was then, and only then, when Rebecca was certain no one could hear or see her, that she finally allowed herself to cry. It was not her proudest moment; these four, agonizing years hadn't been anything to be particularly proud of. Everyone she'd known in her past life was dead, she had been informed of this personally by that weird, psychic cat who called himself Orion. She had been there at the meeting with Shane and all of the other humans that had come to this world when Orion had decided to confess to them the full extent of the damage to their home world. She had believed before that it had only been a few colleges that were destroyed. Now, she had to live with indirectly being the cause of humanity's extinction, not to mention the destruction of the entire Solar System. 7 Billion deaths on her shoulders, seven billion innocent men, women, and children slaughtered because of her actions. She remembered how each one of the humans alongside her had reacted: that axe headed dragon had run to another room to cry, the giant chicken had simply stormed out so they could scream into the night sky. That monkey dude almost choked her to death right then and there, and it took both Orion and Shane to pull them off of her. Shane had simply remained dead silent. Rebecca, meanwhile, broke down right then and there; she had still been crying bloody murder even as her windpipe was being crushed.

After the news was broken there had been no shortage of nights where Rebecca stayed up wishing she could take it all back, that she could go back in time to kick her past self in the nads to stop herself from setting off the butterfly effect which would destroy humanity and ruin her life. Other times, she had nightmares where she was an onlooker at the party where it had all gone wrong. No matter how much she screamed at herself to stop, no matter how much she tried to prevent it, she always could merely watch as her past self broke the proverbial seal that would bring her world crumbling down.

Those nights were the ones where she would wake up in a burning sweat, and usually ended with her drinking till she felt sick, till even her natural resistance to toxins wouldn't stop the soothing release of a blackout. It was an almost ironic fate, a form of karmic retribution brought about by a hateful god. She had ruined Nick's life with alcohol, and now she was ruining hers the exact same way. Alcohol for her had become a vicious cycle by this point; she'd drink to forget, which only added onto the list of her failures, causing even more emotional baggage that she would try to forget with the bottles of beer and whisky she'd wash her sorrows down with.

If she had still been human, she probably would have died of liver failure by now, but once again, her body robbed her of such an easy and permanent release. Her own body's poison type meant that alcohol poisoning, cancers, or heart damage was a non zero threat.

If this was Hell, then it was sure as hell serving its purpose of eternally tormenting her.

As the now lukewarm water drained from the tub, Rebecca slowly stepped out, her foot claws firmly gripping onto the bath mat as she wearily reached for the Kevlar towel she used to dry herself off with. As she dried off her slick skin, she slowly allowed herself to return to sensibility, the bath having cleansed her of both her hangover and her built up angst. Her mood slowly began to improve as she recovered, and while she wasn't on top of the world right now, it was a vast improvement from her state of mind a few minutes ago.

Rebecca opened the walk-in closet that took up a quarter of her room, shifting through the possible choices of clothes she had for today. She could go with a white dress with short sleeves and a long overhang, but she'd worn that last week. There was the purple jumpsuit with red stripes, but that had always felt way too frisky for her. The pink skirt with a white front and long sleeves was not much of an improvement either, it made her feel like she was the slutty, nosey nurse on one of those hospital dramas that had been on TV while Earth had still been alive. The giant green cloak she kept in the back was for special occasions only, like that gala 3 years ago. Wait…

Perfect.

As Rebecca closed the closet door behind her after getting dressed, she felt she was looking stylish, to say the very least. She had gone with a long, magenta colored dress, modified, of course, so she could actually run in it, as well as leaving enough room for her tail to comfortably stick out. Her plum colored cropped jacket was not too revealing, but it added to her visually appealing outfit. Her claws were insulated by two pink, fingerless gloves, allowing her to have a firmer hold where her slick palms would fail. And the piece de resistance: a purple, flowing scarf around her neck.

Finally ready to square up with the everyday struggle that was today, Rebecca grabbed her bag, which contained some food and water, as well as her Connection Orb. Everyone had one of these Orbs these days, they were a lot easier to mass produce when the Z Energy required to manufacture them was literally hanging around in the air they breathed. It helped with long communications, and recent advancements had even allowed it to record videos, take pictures, it could now even connect to the Ultranet that the Ultra Recon Foundation had. Her supplies fully secured, Rebecca left her apartment.

The apartment that she lived in was one of the many buildings that were locked around each other in a ring-like shape with a single exit lined with houses, making it less of an apartment and more comparable to the Cul-de-sacs that were back on Earth. Each apartment contained about 8 to 4 houses each, depending on the size of its intended residents. The Cul-de-sac itself was located on the outskirts of Aeon Town, a recent addition after the influx of pokemon to the newly popular town, both regular and ultra beast alike.

As Rebecca exited out into the streets, she breathed in the fresh morning dew mixing in with the salty seawater of the nearby ocean. As well as the faint smell of smog from the explosion that occurred last night. It was a mix of pleasant senses and the lovely smell of an incoming international upheaval, like smelling roses next to a pile of excrement. Rebecca was still grateful that this world had something similar to toilets and working plumbing, she was not about to go on the floor while hissing like some animal.

"Howdy Ho, neighbor! I thought someone murdered you with the way you screamed this morning."

"Piss off, Neptune, I don't care that you haven't gotten any action in months, I ain't interested."

That blue finned dog was always trying to subtly show his affection. Rebecca wasn't having it, especially with how he reminded her of that dick Geoff from 10th grade who had been a lecherous leech on her back. She kept walking towards town, still unsure of what she'd do today. She probably wouldn't be able to open the store as the panicked riot from the water types and the Pokemon in the festival had done a number to the festival grounds, which still needed to be cleaned up.

"Did you know that I Love You!"

"I hope on this night you'll say that You Love Me!"

"Then we'll dance under the moonlight,"

"We'll dance the lo-

At that moment, fate decided to intervene, the Connection Orb in her bag started flashing while blaring out her ringtone, the song "24 Hour Maiden" by Tidus. A modern day classic, in her opinion. She knocked open her bag, pulling the Orb out before holding it in front of her like she was holding a glass of wine. The topside face of the Orb suddenly rippled, the picture slowly clearing until a familiar feline face appeared on-screen.

"Rebecca, can you hear me?"

"What do you want, Gallian?"

"I need you at the Observatory quickly, it's about recent events."

"Why?"

"We're gathering some of the elite Recon squadrons here for an important mission, and seeing as you technically are considered part of Team Radiance along with Celeste…"

"Ugh… Fine."

"Thank you. Over and out."

Well, at least she wouldn't be bored today. Which really wasn't a good thing anyway, in her opinion.