Chapter 7
A/N: Booyah! Guess who's back? It's me, coming to you with a fresh new chapter in the Doom Slayer's story of carnage. This time, the Slayer finds himself in "Jennifer's Body", and he is gonna have to fight his way out. Don't forget to leave a comment depicting your love/hatred for the story! And once again, I own none of this!
Anita "Needy" Lesnicki figured it would have been a nice night for a walk if she still gave a shit about things like that, but times change. And for Needy, they had changed quite a bit. She pulled her hood back off her head as she walked through the thrilling streets of Madison, Minnesota: The "lutefisk capital of the USA". Needy scrunched her nose at the thought. Lutefisk was disgusting, but up until a few weeks ago, she wouldn't have told anyone that. Back then, she wouldn't've wanted to be a downer that only talked about shit she didn't like. Now she could care less. She heard sirens in the distance, and she assumed that the police had been called only moments after she had left the hotel where the new "heart throb" band, Low Shoulder had been staying after their sold-out concert was a big success.
The bandmates had been probably been looking forward to a night of drugs, alcohol and women, but Needy had other plans for them. Now, Low Shoulder was no more. In fact, their shoulders were probably everywhere in that hotel room. Some high, some low, some over here, some over there, yadda yadda yadda...
Needy allowed herself to smirk just a little at the thought. Those chodes had ruined her life, and unluckily for them, Needy had been more than enthusiastic to return the favor.
Needy suddenly came to a halt as the store she was passing caught her eye. Turning her head, Needy looked through the glass to see rows of satanic t-shirts and black leather lining the shelves beyond.
To Needy, this seemed like the kind of store that Colin Gray and his makeup-happy friends would've enjoyed. That is, if he was still alive…
Needy felt a slight ache in her chest as she thought of Colin.
'Poor bastard, he didn't deserve to go out like that,' Needy thought.
Thinking of Colin led to Needy thinking about everyone else that she had lost over the past few months: Jonas Kozelle, Ahmet from India, and…
…and Chip.
Needy felt her eyes water as she thought of her late boyfriend. How her succubus-bitch of a friend had eaten him before her very eyes. How he had whispered his last words to her in such a pained voice.
Needy sniffed and wiped her eyes. She looked back up through the store window and focused in on what had caught her attention in the first place. In the back of the store, there was a particular article of clothing that Needy found very familiar.
It was an Evil Dead t-shirt.
Not just any Evil Dead t-shirt either. It was the same kind of shirt that Needy had once owned. The same shirt that Jennifer had worn the night she had…opened up to Needy.
That had always been Needy's favorite shirt, and not just because she had always been a fan of Bruce Campbell. That was her favorite shirt because Chip had gotten it for her for her 16th birthday, and that had been the first night that he had told her his feelings for her. He had been so cute and so shy that Needy couldn't help but fall for him. That shirt held a lot of memories, some very happy, others not so much. Either way, Needy knew she wanted it.
Needy stepped through the door and into the shop. A bell rang softly above her head as she entered the darkened room.
Dildos and other 18+ items sat on the shelves as she walked to the clothing section. Behind the counter sat a 20-something looking girl with dark purple hair and several piercings.
"Let me know if you need any help," the girl said half-heartedly. Needy paid her no attention as she strode toward the object of her desires.
Standing in front of the shirt, Needy felt her heart ache again as the familiar feelings arose again. This time, she composed herself and found one that was her size. Needy finally found one and looked at the design of a girl reaching for help as a disfigured hand choked her by the throat. Taking the shirt in her hands, Needy walked back up to the front of the store. The girl at the counter watched her and rattled off the price from memory as Needy set the shirt on the counter.
The shirt was definitely overpriced, but Needy wasn't worried about that. She had over 5,000 dollars in her pocket, so the price wasn't all that steep given the circumstances. Needy silently thanked Low Shoulder for their most generous donation to her private fund. She'd have to remember to have a drink in their name later.
As Needy peeled a crisp hundred out of her wad, a bright flash of light stabbed the darkness of the shop from the streets. A loud bang rang out at the same time, and Needy's head snapped to the source of the commotion.
Out in the middle of the street, the light faded, and in its place stood a bulky shadow of a figure. The girl at the counter squinted to try and make out the details, but Needy had no trouble seeing the silhouette's subtler features. Being bitten by a demon certainly had its perks. However, despite Needy's super-human vision, she had not been blessed with superhuman cognition. So even though she saw the figure very clearly, she had no idea what the fuck to make of it. The figure outside was humanoid, but it was completely encased on some sort of Stark-trek, space-battle suit. The armor was thick and sturdy looking, and the figure wore a helmet that Needy found even more intimidating.
The figure then turned its head and stared at Needy through the window, and Needy suddenly felt very nervous that something bad was about to happen. Her gut feeling was proven correct as the figure ran forward and crashed through the store window without warning.
"What the fu-!"
Needy's last syllable caught in her throat as the figure grabbed her by the neck with one arm. Needy gasped for breath, surprised by the figure's strength. If she had been a normal girl, this might have been a problem. But unfortunately for Tin Toy here, Needy was not a normal girl, and not only that, but she was now extremely pissed off.
With a grunt, Needy picked up both her feet and picked the figure square in the chest. The figure let go of her neck, but Needy felt a sense of dread as she felt just how solid the figure was.
She had kicked with the full force of her newfound demon powers, but instead of sending the figure flying back out of the store window, the figure only staggered back a half-step. Whatever this thing was, it was strong. And if Needy didn't put an end to this, fast, she was toast.
With that, Needy screamed in rage and charged the figure, determined to rip its head off.
Her plans were literally shot down as the figure produced a shotgun seemingly from its ass and fired a round of buck shot directly into her stomach, causing Needy to stop in her tracks and inhale sharply. Her mind took a moment to process it, but Needy finally realized that this asshole had just pumped a massive load into her stomach. She would have appreciated the innuendo if it weren't for the literal gaping hole in her stomach right now, so she retched instead.
Needy stumbled a bit before the figure cocked the shotgun and fired again. This time, Needy was nearly torn in half by the blast, and she croaked weakly before falling to her knees. Her blood was now all over the shop; it seemed to be everywhere except in her body at the moment, which was where she desperately needed it to be.
Her wish went ungranted, and Needy weakly looked up through half-lidded eyes as the figure stepped toward her, pumping the shotgun yet again.
Needy tried to move as the figure rested the end of the shotgun between her eyes, but her body refused to obey her. Realizing the futility of the situation, Needy tried to formulate a prayer in her head, but her mind was fuzzy from the lack of blood, and she was having no luck.
The figure stared down at her, its face unreadable behind the visor, and its shotgun pointed point-blank between Needy's eyes. The figure paused for a moment, then it moved its head to look past Needy to something directly behind her. Had she not been in so much pain at the moment, Needy would've felt confused.
She finally did when the figure unexpectedly put the shotgun away, still looking at something behind Needy that she couldn't see. The figure then stepped around Needy, seemingly forgetting all about her.
Needy tried to sigh in relief, but her lungs were both in shreds, so she let her head slowly droop and watch as her body slowly began to rebuild itself. Slowly but surely, the destroyed tissue in her chest and abdomen began to knit back together, almost like a video in reverse.
Out of all the powers that Needy had received, this by far was her favorite, and Needy was finally able to let out a sigh of relief as her lungs reformed again.
When she had finally recovered enough, Needy turned her head behind her to see what was so important that the figure had not blown her head off.
To her surprise and confusion, the metal suit of armor was looking at t-shirts, specifically, Evil Dead t-shirts. Along with the one that Needy had picked out, there had been a few other shirts along the walls that also alluded to the franchise. The armored figure seemed particularly interested in one depicting Ash Williams holding his signature chainsaw mid-sweep as though he was currently slashing through a Deadite. If Needy didn't know any better, she would have thought this robot-thingy knew Ash personally. Needy impulsively spoke out.
"You a fan of Ash too, huh? I never would've guessed by the violent attitude and the shotgun."
The figure looked over its shoulder back as her, and Needy internally slapped herself for drawing its attention again. She was still pissed off at it, to be sure, but she was quickly learning that against this thing, there was nothing she could do about it. The figure then spied the shirt that she still held in her hand and walked back over to her. Needy followed it with her eyes as it came back to her front.
Wordlessly, the figure extended an armored gauntlet down to Needy, and she hesitantly took it as the figure helped her to her feet. Her last wounds were closing up, and Needy suddenly remembered that her clothes did not regenerate with her.
The two shotgun blasts had decimated her shirt and sports bra, so she was now completely exposing her front to the futuristic soldier. She quickly covered herself before turning around
and putting on her new Evil Dead shirt. The figure, however, seemed indifferent to Needy's peep show, as it turned and thudded over to the literary section of the store.
Needy curiously watched it for a moment before turning back to see the goth girl still standing at the counter.
"Fuckin' metal as fuck," Needy heard the girl say quietly. Needy frowned at her before walking over to the counter and placing the hundred on top of it.
"Keep the change," Needy said, but the girl's eyes were entirely focused on the suit, which was still rifling through tomes on demonic lore and how-to sex books.
"I never thought I'd see him with my own eyes. I didn't even think he was real until two seconds ago," the girl said in a haze.
"What? You know this guy?" Needy asked gesturing with her thumb to the walking tank.
"He's the one thing all demons fear," the girl said, adamantly continuing to stare at the stranger. "He is the immortal terror that haunts only the doomed."
"Points for being cryptic, but absolute dick at being helpful," Needy said annoyedly. "Can you at least give me a name?"
The figure suddenly slammed a book down on the counter, cracking the wood and causing to the whole store to shake. Needy hadn't heard him walking back over, and she jumped reflexively and snapped her eyes to the book. The front cover depicted a figure standing with a shotgun on a pile of demonic bodies. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the figure on the cover and the figure standing next to her were one in the same. The title read in bold letters: The Doom Slayer: Destructor of the Undead.
Needy looked from the book to the so called "Doom Slayer".
"This is you then?"
The Doom Slayer nodded once.
"Great. I think I get the gist of it. You just kill evil shit, right?"
The Slayer nodded again. Needy was starting to see why he was a fan of the Evil Dead franchise.
"And you thought I was a demon, which I'm not, but thanks for double checking," Needy said sarcastically, rubbing her stomach. "I didn't have enough iron in my diet anyway."
The Slayer stared back at her.
Needy sighed. Despite her abrasiveness to the Doom Slayer on the outside, she really wished that he have been there about a month ago. He could have prevented a lot of deaths. Whatever, not much could be done about it now.
She opened her mouth to speak again when a feminine voice piped up from the street.
"Foooound you!"
Needy turned and saw a group of women gathered in front of the store. Women of the night, from the looks of it. Each woman was dressed in extremely provocative clothing, and there were about six of them all together in a gaggle. Needy smirked at the sight.
"Where's your pimp? Does he usually let you stay out this late?" Needy jeered at them.
"Ha. Ha. Ha," the woman in front said, rolling her eyes at Needy. "As though we haven't heard that one before."
Needy suspected that the woman who spoke was the leader, and she decided to focus in on her.
"You probably have, but you don't seem like the type to remember much except the last dick in your ass," Needy retorted without missing a beat.
"Hey, screw you, bitch! You don't talk to Cathy like that," another woman yelled at Needy, who guessed that she was trying to threaten her.
"Relax, Jade," the leader said, holding her hand out haltingly to the other woman.
"Yeah that's right, shut your mouth." Needy sneered. "While you're at it, might wanna shut your legs too. I think you'll find it easier to walk after that."
The one called Jade opened her mouth to say something back, but the lead woman cut her off.
"Anyway, let's get to the point. We know what you are girlie. In fact, we are the exact same thing! Amazing how lazy people are when checking virginity, isn't it?"
"With you guys? I'm honestly surprised anyone was dumb enough to make that mistake."
That last comment made the leader visibly angry, and Needy took a huge amount of satisfaction from that.
"Look! We came to offer you the deal of a lifetime," the leader snapped. "Join up with us! And you'll get all the boys you want. We've got our own limitless supply."
Needy chuckled. The leader titled her head in confusion at her laugh.
"Look, what was your name again? Fatty?"
"Cathy," the leader said through gritted teeth.
"Right. Anyway Cathy, I'm not a succubus. I'm 100% human, I just got lucky enough to get bitten by one, which is where my super bad-ass powers came from."
A few of the girls in the group shifted and murmured at the revelation. Cathy silenced them with a look then stepped forward. A malicious grin appeared on her face.
"Well then, if you aren't one of us, then you're against us. And that means it's feeding time, girls!"
The rest of the succubi cheered and clapped in enthusiasm, before fanning out in front of the store.
Cathy then turned her head, seemingly noticing the Doom Slayer standing behind Needy for the first time.
"You guys start with tall, green, and metal..."
Cathy's face suddenly tore open as the Doom Slayer blew a load into her skull. This time, Needy chuckled at the innuendo. That shit was funny. Her humor was short lived however, as Cathy's face started reknitting itself much faster than Needy had ever seen before. Within seconds, Cathy's face reappeared, a scowl painted across her features.
"Do damage girls."
The other five succubi then charged into the store, but before Needy could reach out to intercept one, Cathy tackled her with a running start. The supernatural force of Cathy's tackle lifted both of them into the air, and Needy gasped as her breath was forced out of her lungs. She grunted in pain as both Cathy and she went sailing out of the back wall of the store.
Needy pushed away from Cathy and landed hard in the dirt. She struggled to her feet and looked ahead to see Cathy already running towards her, arm cocked back. Needy ducked under Cathy's punch and stumbled backward behind her. There was sounds of gunfire coming from the store behind her, but Needy didn't dare look back.
This was bad, Not only was Cathy insanely fast, but strong too. A lot stronger than Needy was. She barely had time to duck out of the way as Cathy swung for her again. This time, Needy had not been quick enough, and Cathy's blow caught her shoulder, sending her flying. Needy twisted midair and landed on her feet but stumbled as pain shot through her shoulder. It had been dislocated, and Needy was sure that some of her bones had been fractured as well.
With an enraged yell, Needy ran forward and drop kicked the older succubus before she could react. Cathy grunted in surprise as she flew backward and crashed into a tree.
Needy ran over to the tree, stretching her shoulder as it repaired itself. Cathy was picking herself off the ground, and Needy took advantage of Cathy's bent-over position and brought her knee up into Cathy's jaw. Needy heard a satisfying crunch, and Cathy's head snapped backward as she smashed against the tree again.
Needy tried to follow up with a punch, but the succubus's hand suddenly shot up and grabbed her wrist before it made contact, causing Needy to hesitate in surprise for a moment, which was a big mistake. Cathy stood up with a smirk on her face and punched Needy square in the chest.
Needy retched as her body jolted under the force of the blow, but that was nothing compared to her arm. Cathy had kept her grip after the punch, effectively anchoring Needy in place while the force of the punch tried to carry her backward. Needy screamed as the strain ripped her joints to shreds.
Needy fell onto her back, still crying out at the searing pain in her arm. Cathy stood over her for a moment, then stomped on Needy's other arm, shattering the bones underneath the skin. Needy screamed again.
Both of her arms were now useless, the only way she could have stood up was by using her legs, but at that moment, Cathy straddled her and sat on her stomach. She was trapped.
"You know," Cathy said as she ran her fingers through Needy's hair. "You put up much more of a fight than any others. That's pretty sexy."
Needy tried to bite at Cathy's hand, and the succubus slapped her. Hard.
Needy's head snapped to the side and her vision blurred for a moment.
Cathy's face slowly came back into focus, and Needy realized she was still talking.
"The older you get, the stronger you become. You were certainly unique, but I could tell that you were still young. Therefore, you had no chance. You'd need something a little bit stronger to do that."
Needy suddenly became keenly aware of how silent it had become. A smile crept onto her face. Cathy frowned at the unexpected emotion.
"What's so funny?"
Then, Cathy's head exploded, spraying Needy with blood and brain matter. Needy squeezed her eyes shut and closed her mouth just in time. When she opened them, she gazed at Cathy's headless form for a moment before a familiar armored boot kicked it off of her.
Needy turned her head as the Doom Slayer came into her vision. He spared a quick glance at her, then turned toward Cathy's body, which was already done growing her head back. Cathy stumbled to her feet, locking eyes with the Doom Slayer, who stomped toward her.
"You fu—"
She was cut off as the Doom Slayer punched his hand into her chest. He kept it there for a moment, then wrenched backward with a wet ripping noise.
Cathy twitched and swayed on her feet for a moment, and Needy saw that the Doom Slayer was holding her heart in his right hand. Cathy then fell backward into the dirt and moved no more.
Needy struggled to sit up as the Doom Slayer walked over to her. Her arms were healing but still mangled, so she sat there awkwardly as he looked down at her.
"A little help?" she finally asked.
The Doom Slayer wordlessly grabbed her by her shirt and hauled her to her feet. She was about to get angry with him for stretching the new fabric, but she realized that it was moot compared to the rips and blood that now soaked her new attire.
"Thanks," she said instead, before turning and walking back into the store. The Doom Slayer followed.
Inside, it was a blood bath. The five other succubi had been twisted and mangled to shreds, and their blood and guts painted every corner of the store. As Needy surveyed the scene, the girl behind the counter slowly peaked up from her hiding spot. Needy supposed she should apologize for the dark and dismal appearance of the shop, but all things considered, the mood it was trying to convey really hadn't changed all that much.
"You got any more Evil Dead shirts?" Needy asked tiredly.
The girl held her hands up, indicating that she had no idea.
"Thanks," Needy said sarcastically before checking the wall where the shirts had been. Miraculously, one shirt had survived with minimal blood on it. 'Minimal' was a bit of a loose term there, but Needy really didn't care at that point. She figured it made it look more authentic anyway.
Needy's left arm had healed enough that she could use it, so she weakly reached out and took the shirt from the rack, before turning back to the Slayer.
"So, uh, thanks I guess. What now, though?"
The Doom Slayer looked at her for a moment, then lifted his hand and gave her a thumbs up. A bright flash of light lit up the room and a loud bang was heard. Needy blinked as the light faded. And when she looked again, the Slayer was gone.
"Uh, does he do that a lot?" Needy asked the girl at the counter.
The girl shrugged again.
Needy shook her head.
"Whatever," she said before walking back out through the hole in the wall.