Chapter Two: Decency
Unable to not be entranced by this little girl, I couldn't help was stare at her. I honestly never thought I'd ever see another child in my life. They were small and slow and too inexperienced to live in this world. They needed to be protected but…things always happened. That was the reality of this world. One of many.
She was staring back at me, still smiling when we were interrupted by a shout and her father was rushing toward us with such speed, I did the only thing I could think of. I dropped to my knees and held up my hands. The little girl seemed un-phased despite the fact that Mozzie had turned defensive, only it wasn't just toward me but the little girl as well, putting himself between the two of us and the girl's father.
Getting to my feet, I launched myself over the fence, bending as I moved in front of my dog. The man held a shovel in his hands, holding it up, ready to swing it. "Wait!" I yelled. "Please. We're not here to hurt you."
"Give me my daughter!" He yelled.
"We didn't touch her and we don't intend to." I told him. "Mozzie." I said to my dog, gripping the scruff of his neck. "Let's go."
The little girl walked past us as if nothing had happened. "We were gonna play." She told her father.
"Hannah." He said and slowly moved her behind him.
"She has a pretty dog." Hannah said as she peeked out from behind her father.
"Moz." I said and stepped backward, still holding tight to him.
Hannah rushed around her father and swiftly wrapped her arms around Mozzie's neck, making me let him go. "Thanks for visiting."
Mozzie stopped growling, wagging his tail and lapped at the girls chin. She giggled and hugged him again. Looking up at her father, he was still standing defensively, both of us reaching out for our kids. Without saying a word, or asking for anything, I finally coaxed Mozzie backward, both of us crawling under the fence before straightening. Nodding at the man, I smiled at Hannah before swiftly moving into the trees.
"That was not cool." I shot at my dog. He just snorted at me. "Not cool."
"Wait." A voice said from behind me.
Turning, it was Hannah's father. Holding out my knife, he still held the shovel in his hands. He was tall, towering over me, and was well built, and far more attractive than I wanted to admit. Only I decided that that was because it had been so long since I'd been around a decent human being. Let alone a child. His thick brown hair was short, sticking out over his forehead, with a goatee around his mouth. Lines of dirt and sweat ran down his temples and neck. His white shirt was tinted brown at the neck and under his arms. His blue jeans ripped and smeared with dirt.
"What?" I finally asked him.
"I'm sorry I overacted." He told me.
Scoffing, I shook my head at him, "There's no such thing anymore. You were going to protect your daughter. Don't ever apologize for that." For a long moment he just looked at me. "What do you want?"
"How long have you been out here?" He countered.
"When did this all start?" I retorted with a frown.
It was his turn to frown, "You've been out here the whole time?"
Shrugging my shoulder, I shook my head, looking up into the trees, "Basically. I was with someone but…" I met his eyes, the same blue as his daughters. "It didn't have a happy ending."
He nodded, "Are you hungry?" I was going to say no but my stomach growled before I could say the word. Sighing, I nodded at him. He smiled and motioned back to his home. "Come on. I'll get you something to eat."
"You shouldn't trust me." I frowned at him.
"Why not?" He asked but didn't seem concerned.
"You don't know me. I could be manipulating you to take what you have. I could be a bad person." I replied honestly.
"Are you?"
"Maybe you're just luring me back to your home so you can kill me." I added, my paranoia spilling out of me.
He laughed, "Yeah, I could be. I usually chase people away and instead of letting them go, I bring them back to my home."
"You'd be smart not to let anyone know where you live." I stated.
He frowned and crossed his arms, "You're trying very hard to not accept anything from me."
"I'm just…leery of people I don't know."
He nodded again, "So am I."
"Then why follow me?"
"Because you didn't raise a hand against me or my daughter. You could have. We wouldn't have been much of a match for you and your dog."
"I'm not here to kill."
"Have you killed?"
"Yes." I replied without hesitation.
"Why?" He asked.
Taking a slow deep breath, I furrowed my brows at him, "Because I want to live."
He nodded again, "Come on. Let's get you something to eat."
Still unsure, Mozzie started to pant and swiftly moved off toward the small farm. Sighing, I nodded and followed the man back the way we'd come, keeping a few feet in between us at all times. Just in case he decided to try something. Though I didn't think he would. But I'd been wrong before.
"Daddy!" Hannah exclaimed when we came into sight.
Mozzie was already sitting at her side, keeping an eye out for any danger. "Good boy." I told him, gripping an ear after we'd once again moved over the fence. "What's your name?" I finally asked him.
He turned his head, his shoulders just lightly shifting, a half smile crossing his face as he met my eyes. The sun was shining against him, the rays ricocheting off of him, making the beams appear to come off of him. I knew that I'd never forget that moment.
"Ben." He told me. "My name's Ben."
"Ben." I repeated as I stared at him.
He stopped and turned to me, "And you?"
Smiling, it took me a long moment to reply, "Uh, Caroline."
His smile broadened and he nodded, "Caroline."
"Yeah." I nodded back. "Ben."
Following him across the field, I took in the work he had been doing. There was fruit and vegetables, some growing and others had barely come up. As we got closer to the cabin, I could hear chickens, curious as to what else he had on the other side.
"Are you going to stay for dinner?" Hannah asked as she slipped her hand into mine.
For a moment my throat felt tight as I smiled and nodded at her, "Yeah, I think I am."
"Yay!" She exclaimed and rushed off, attempting to take the stairs two at a time only to slip and fall.
"Careful." I told her, picking her up and setting her on the top of the steps.
Ben was already inside, Hannah rushing after him. Stopping at the top, Mozzie sat next to me, leaning against my leg. Nodding, I put my hand against the side of his head, pulling him against me. It had easily been weeks, maybe even a month or so, since I'd set foot into a home. Not one like this. Not one that I had no intention of raiding. Everything I'd come across was already raided or broken or already taken. I hadn't felt warmth from a home for…I don't know how long.
"Caroline?" Ben said as he stepped in the doorframe.
"I'm sorry." I said airily. "It's just…"
"When was the last time anyone welcomed you in?" He asked.
I shook my head, "I don't know."
He frowned and slowly stepped toward me. "Where you ever with a group?"
I shook my head, "No. Not really."
"Um, if you want, I can make you a plate and bring it out here."
"That would be great." I replied quickly.
He smiled and went inside. Looking at the small table that was there with two chairs, I sat down, not realizing until then that I was shaking. At the same time a tear slid down my cheek and I swiftly wiped it away.
"It's not quite ready yet, but if you –" Ben started but stopped.
"You know." I said standing, wiping my palms against my thighs. "I'm just gonna keep moving." I added as I moved down the steps.
"Caroline." He frowned, following me.
"It was very kind of you to invite me." I smiled at him over my shoulder.
"Wait."
I shook my head, "Don't follow me, Ben. You don't know me. I don't know you. You have a lovely home and if you were smart you'd reinforce it so it can't be taken."
"Caroline, just wait a minute." He said gripping my arm. "What's going on?"
"You don't know me." I told him again. "You don't want to know me. I'm not a good person."
"Liar." He told me with a smirk.
Laughing lightly, wiping another tear, I stepped backward. "It'll be safer for all of us if I just keep moving. I'll – I'll catch something along the way."
"Stop." He said stepping toward me again.
"No." I said holding out my hand.
All the while Mozzie had been standing between us, his head moving back and forth to look at us in turn.
"Thank you, though."
"Caroline."
"Don't trust people, Ben." I told him coldly. "Don't trust anyone."
Turning, I ran, slipping into the trees without ever looking back. Running until I was far enough away, I slouched at the base of a tree. I wanted to meet someone who was kind and not broken from the way the world had become. I didn't want to be alone anymore. But I couldn't do it. Seeing that home, that little girl, and the life they had built despite the world ending, all of it was too much to take. I thought I had wanted it but I couldn't be like that anymore. I wasn't that kind of person anymore.
The tears didn't stop until I heard the groaning and shuffling behind me. Mozzie started to growl and he let out two barks, hearing the change in the walkers pace, moving toward my dog. As soon as it was in sight, I could see that the woman's scalp was torn from the back of her head. Her clothes were rags and she was missing an arm. As soon as she passed me by, following my dog, I stepped up behind her and thrust my knife into her skull, yanking it out as she fell forward to the ground.
It was probably a bad sign when they stopped scaring you. I'd seen so many. Killed so many. Never in a large group, making it too easy to get over what had to be done. It was easy now. There was a sense of rhythm to it. A process memorized through trial and error. One that worked and was familiar. I didn't realize that I needed that. I needed my life to be what my life had become. Change was just too much. I couldn't do it. I couldn't let myself feel again knowing that it could all disappear at any moment. I couldn't.
"It's just me and you, pal." I told Mozzie. Looking down, he was ever at my side, but there was something about him that told me he had wanted it. He had wanted it as much as I did. "I know, Moz. But we're better on our own."
Finding I had lost my appetite, we walked the remainder of the day, finding a place to crash for the night near the stream. Lying under the stars, I wanted to sleep but I just couldn't manage it. It didn't help that our alarm system went off, two walkers stumbling in. Mozzie barked to draw attention as always, only it managed to draw only one away. The other stumbled toward me, its arms outstretched, gripping my arms as it reached me. Putting my hand against its chest, I felt my hand starting to sink into it. Swiftly thrusting my knife through its forehead, I let it fall before going for the second. Tripping over the first, Mozzie's barking got louder.
"Stop it." I told him. "Mozzie, stop."
He didn't, making me frantically rush forward, stabbing the brain, landing on top of it as it fell forward. I felt something explode against my stomach, looking up at my dog that was hunkered down on the ground. Sighing, I was about to lay into him when I heard more rustling. Looking behind me, five more were starting to stumble into view, and I had no idea how many more were behind them.
"Damn it, Moz." I said and grabbed my bag.
Running, I felt a hand on my shoulder, spinning away from it before slamming into the chest of another. Stabbing it under the chin, I pushed it away from me and kept moving. The next thing I knew my ankle was grabbed and I fell to my stomach, scrambling away from them. I didn't even know where Mozzie was. He decided now to stay quiet. Keeping moving, my hair was grabbed and I was pulled onto my back. Rolling onto my side, I pulled on my hair as the walker used it to propel itself forward, reaching for my face. Then I felt something against my shoe.
This was it.
This was the moment I died.
Only then Mozzie appeared and barreled over the walker at my feet. Quickly stabbing the one attached to my hair, I pulled it free and quickly crawled toward the one Mozzie was jumping around. Stabbing it as well, I got to my feet and started to run again. Now Mozzie was in front of me, seeming calmer and yet still anxious.
The sound of them had quieted down, giving me the smallest sense of relief, but I didn't dare slow my pace. The sun had been up for at least a couple hours before I finally slowed, stumbling forward onto my knees. The day had gone from bad too good to worse. Definitely not what I was expecting. Mozzie had dropped to his belly, crawling toward me, his tongue lapping at my hands that were in my lap, still gripping the bloody knife. My hands were tainted as well, my shirt torn and drenched with walker blood and guts. My pants dirty and bloody.
"I'm not mad at you." I told him. He whined and kept licking my hands. "Stop it." I frowned. He immediately obeyed, partially crawling into my lap. Looking at my ponytail, I realized that I'd let it get too long. Sighing, I pushed it over my shoulder, stroking my dog. "It's okay, Moz." I told him as I dropped the knife, holding him tightly against me. "We're okay."
"Jesus." A voice said from behind me.
Darting to our feet, we spun, only to see Ben sitting atop a horse. "What are you doing here?"
"I know you said not to follow but…" He replied and shrugged.
"Not cool." I frowned at him.
"What the hell happened?" He asked as he dismounted.
Shrugging, I felt self-conscious, "Walkers happened."
He nodded, still looking at me up and down. "I can see that. You left enough carnage behind you that I thought the worst."
"I can take care of myself." I told him and turned away, starting to walk before tripping over a log.
Sighing, I laid there on my back, Mozzie whining over me, as I looked at the sky. Then I heard steps and Ben was standing over me as well. He looked down at me with a smile. Frowning back at him, I attempted not to meet his eyes.
"You're exhausted and hurt. Let me help you." He told me.
"You shouldn't want to help anyone." I retorted harshly. "That's how you get yourself killed."
"You don't think I know that?" He said firmly. "I've had to kill people, Caroline. I know how. I simply don't believe that every human that's left is evil."
"And you think I'm the non-evil kind?" I asked with a raised brow.
"Yeah."
Laughing, I shook my head. "I am not a good person. I kill first and ask questions later. I have little remorse and am more concerned about me and my dog than anything else."
"I think you have remorse."
Propping myself on my elbows, I glared at him, "How many times do I have to tell you that you don't know me?"
"And you're awfully quick to keep me from learning anything."
Sighing, I got to my feet and stared up at him, "You don't want to know me."
"Let me be the judge of that." He smiled.
"Stop smiling." I shot at him. "There is nothing to smile about. Look around, Ben. Look around at what the world has become. What the hell are you smiling about?"
He just looked at me fondly, "Not all the good people are dead."