Hello all! Sorry this is a day late. I have no good excuse. ; )
I haven't had much feedback for this so far so I hope you all are enjoying it! I do not update based on reviews or anything so I'll be posting weekly regardless! It may have started off a little different or slow but I guarantee that it will get more exciting and give it just a few more chapters and the characters we know and love will appear and all hell will break loose like it always does.

Thank you so much for reading!

ENJOY!

Chapter Six: Indifference

The sun was only half raised as I lay in bed. Thinking about Ben and Hannah and Mozzie. Only I didn't think about them as often as I used to. As often as I felt like I should. They deserved to be thought of at all hours of the day. They deserved to be remembered because it was my fault that they were dead. It was my fault that I let my guard down and got comfortable and fell in love. It happened and then I let them down by leaving them behind and they were killed because of it. They were killed and I was still alive. I was alive and they were dead.

"I'm alive and they're dead." I whispered out loud.

"What, baby?"

Rolling over, I looked at Caesar, taking in his relaxed, unshaven face. Leaning in, I kissed him softly, "Nothing."

Rolling out of bed, I changed into a sports bra and sweats before throwing on a tank as I left the room. He wasn't fazed by my departure. It had become a normal morning routine. I needed something to loosen me up in the mornings. Sometimes we made love in the morning. Sometimes I ran. Today was the latter. I needed to be in motion. I needed to have my surroundings a blur around me. To top it off, I had the earbuds pressed into my ears, classic rock blaring into them, motivating me to keep moving.

After several laps, I finally slowed, walking nearly another lap before I finally made my way back home. I was partially aware of the muffled voice that seemed to be following me. Purposely ignoring them, I was nearly to the door to the apartment building when my shoulder was grabbed. Not hard, but it was annoying as all hell. I thought I'd made my stand on community very clear.

"What?" I said and pulled the buds from my ears, turning to see the Governor. He raised a brow at me. I just shrugged at him, "What?"

"I thought you might join me for breakfast." He replied.

Laughing, I turned and went back inside. Going into my apartment, my bed was empty and I could hear the shower running. Stripping, I went into the bathroom and let myself through the curtain. Caesar smiled as he turned to me, taking me in his arms as his hands ran up and down my back. Not smiling back, I started to kiss him, pressing myself against him as the water flowed over us. I let him make love to me. It was hot and wet and satisfying. And it didn't do a damn thing for me. It was nothing more than a distraction. It was something to fill my days and my nights.

It.

It was Caesar.

Caesar Martinez was sharing my bed at night and was at my side during the day. It seemed like I spent more time with Caesar than I ever did with Ben. And it was empty. Every moment I spent with him was filled with empty moments and empty touches and kisses and sex. All of it was empty. But there were moments where I would feel fulfilled. Moments where I wouldn't feel as empty as I was.

I hated those moments.

Meeting Karen for lunch, she was the only other person I let myself get even remotely close to. She knew me better than anyone here and that wasn't saying a lot. I shared the absolute bare minimum. Shared just enough to get her to shut up. Caesar didn't care as much about the details. He cared more about how often I opened my legs for him. The only person that my silence seemed to piss off was the Governor. I was the stray he took in and wanted to use as a weapon.

That's exactly was I was now. A weapon. I was a rabid dog that could take down whatever prey you unleashed me on. That was what he wanted. He wanted a monster to do all his dirty work. And I would do it. For some godforsaken reason I wanted to survive. I couldn't even tell you why. I'd lost everything. I had nothing left to live for and yet…I didn't want to die.

So other than the release that killing gave me – that the Governor gave me – I wanted nothing to do with him. I wanted the missions he gave me. I wanted the thrill of the hunt. I wanted revenge for my family and if it took the Governor and his beliefs to get me there, then I would do it. I would do whatever the fuck he wanted me to. As long as I got to feel that high. The high of killing those who would just kill whoever came next. Those who stole and killed and raped and tortured.

I'd kill them all.

"You seem quieter than usual today." Karen stated.

"Mm." I replied, staring at my plate.

"You love the omelets." She stated.

"I do." I nodded, finally smiling at her as I started to eat. "I love a good omelet."

She smiled, "I was worried there for a second. That last little "spell" you had lasted over a week."

"No one said grieving was easy." I told her.

She nodded, "I know. I remember."

Sighing, I nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."

"I know." She smiled. "And I know that you lost those you cared about. I know that you feel alone. But you're not alone. You have people now."

"I had people before." I shot at her. "People I wanted. I was taken captive here. I was taken from the woods where I should have died and I was brought here against my will. The Governor just expected me to work for my keep and I will. But it's not what I want. Not really."

"Then what do you want?" She asked. I opened my mouth to reply; only she held up her hand, not letting me say anything. "Other than the family you lost. They're gone, Caroline. There is no getting them back. You need to move on. So tell me what you need to help you move on. What will help take the pain away?"

"I might have an idea." Caesar said interrupting us. He leaned down and kissed me sweetly. "Hey."

"Hey." I smiled at him.

"The Governor has summoned us." He told me.

I nodded, "You go ahead. I won't be more than a few minutes." As soon as he was out of earshot, I sighed and looked at Karen. "I know."

"I know you know." She smiled. "But he's going to fall for you and you're going to break his little heart."

I smiled and shrugged a little, "It'll be fun while it lasts."

Getting up, I put my hand on her shoulder before going off toward the armory. Caesar and the Governor were already talking it out. Whatever this mission was. So when I stepped up to them, they there doing that stupid nodding thing before they stopped talking both of them turned their heads to look at me.

"So, what's the mission?" I asked.

"We have a few disgruntled survivors." The Governor told me.

"Disgruntled survivors?" I frowned. "Like from the outside?"

He nodded, "Yes."

"How did they get in?"

"We're not really sure." He replied. "But they did and were caught stealing from our pantry."

"How much did they take?"

"Enough." Caesar told me.

Nodding, I held out my hand. He smiled and put a gun into it. "Then I guess we go get it back." I told them, smirking up at the Governor.

"Send her out." The Governor said as he stared at me.

Laughing lightly, I cocked my gun, looking at Martinez before we moved toward the gate.

Being let out, we started to move into the woods. They wouldn't get far. Hearing the cracking of branches, they were stupid enough to think that circling round would be a smart way to avoid us. However, that was not the case. Darting to the left, they were starting to run down the length of the wall. Smiling, I stopped and took my aim. Letting off the shot, they fell forward, screaming as they held their calf, blood already spilling through their fingers. Slowly walking forward, I waited until the two others came back for him, audibly cocking the gun again, aiming it at them.

"We're sorry." One told me, raising their hands.

"I'm sure you are."

"We didn't mean any harm. We were starving." Another told me.

"What did you think was going to happen?" I asked them. "The world has gone to shit and you think stealing other peoples' food wouldn't end like this?"

"You got 'em." Martinez told me.

"Get the food." I told Shumpert and Crowley. They stepped forward and confiscated the stolen goods. "Now then…" I said and smirked at them.

"What are you gonna do?" One of the men asked.

"I know what the Governor told me to do." I smirked.

The color drained from their faces. Looking at Martinez, he nodded and raised his gun, then both of us shot them. We ended their lives with bullets to the head. Looking at Martinez again, he was grinning at me, nodding with satisfaction. Smiling back, I put my gun into the back of my pants and headed back to the gates.

"Nice work."

"Thank you, Caesar."

He grinned at me again, "If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. No one but my mama calls me Caesar."

Grinning back, I just shrugged, "Your mama and me."

He laughed, "Alright. I guess I can live with that."

"Good. Because there's no stopping me."

He just smiled and I swore I could see a blush in his cheeks. Feeling guilty, I smiled back but it was completely for show. Not nearly enough time had passed since I'd lost my family. But starting something would definitely take my mind off of them. Off of everything.

Being let back into the community, I made my way back toward my apartment, but before I could get there, The Governor was moving toward me. He had that stupid smile on his face and that walk that was so fake to me that I just wanted to mock him. I didn't like him. The only reason I'd stayed was for the security until I could pull myself back together. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to leave. I'd grown accustomed to having people around me. I liked people. Just not all of them. And despite how fast I could blow them away.

"How'd it go?" The Governor asked.

"Fine." I nodded.

"She caught them. Lured them in and blew them away." Caesar added.

The Governor smiled, "Nice work."

Bile rose in my throat, "It had to be done. And I had help."

"She's impressive." Caesar went on.

"Stop." I told him. "Anything else?"

"No." The Governor told me.

Nodding, I moved around him, walking as quickly as possible until I was inside my apartment. Putting my gun underneath my pillow, I laid down, staring at the ceiling. People were so accommodating here but they had no idea what sacrifices were being made without their knowledge. They didn't know what happened in the woods when we left. They didn't know what their beloved Governor was capable of.

When dinner rolled around, I finally left the confines of my apartment. Going downstairs, I stepped out into the street, turning toward Karen's apartment. About halfway there I saw her walking toward me as well. Smiling, I nodded and stopped in front of her.

"Great minds think alike." She grinned at me.

Laughing lightly, I nodded at her, "Yes they do. You and I probably have the greatest minds in this goddamn place."

"I'd disagree." A voice interjected. Karen and I both turned and looked at Milton. "Hello." He smiled.

"Hello." I replied.

"What can we do for you?" Karen asked as she gently nudged me.

Clearing my throat, I crossed my arms but smirked. "Yes, what can we do for you?"

"I was simply wondering if you'd had dinner yet." He replied sheepishly.

Laughing lightly, I shook my head, "I haven't, but you do know that I've been seeing Caesar."

"Yes. But I'm also aware that the relationship doesn't mean anything to you." He commented.

Frowning, I nodded at him, "No relationship will mean anything to me for a long time."

He nodded, smiling, "I know."

Then he walked away.

"What the fuck was that about?" I asked Karen.

She nudged me again, "He has a thing for you."

Rolling my eyes, I started to walk again, "Not happening. Not ever."

"I know." She replied. "But it's adorable."

"I'm just a new toy that everyone wants to play with."

"And yet Martinez gets to." She commented.

Laughing, I nodded, "He gets to play because I need some sort of distraction. He's in the higher ranks of the Governor's men. He might be useful to me."

"Wow." She told me. "Manipulating the Governor."

"No. I simply want to survive."

"Do you?" She asked gently. I turned my head and frowned at her. "You lost everything. It would only be natural for you to want to see it all end."

I nodded, "I did want it all to end. I wanted to die. I would have if it hadn't been for the Governor. I figure that's a sign of some sort. Death is the easy way out and I have never done the easy thing. I left my family behind to pursue a career in Atlanta. I worked hard for everything I had. I'll do it again."

She nodded, "Agreed."

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" An odd male voice said from behind us.

I turned my head to see who it was, the voice unfamiliar, only Karen took my arm, "Keep walking."

"Who is it?" I asked her.

"Merle Dixon." She told me softly.

Then the voice was speaking again. It sounded too high to be a man's and was scratchy like he'd been yelling too much. It was kind of grating on the ears. An annoying buzzing sound that didn't seem to end.

"I don't think I've seen you here before."

"Keep walking." Karen told me.

"We really don't like him." I smirked at her.

She smiled back at me, "We really don't."

"Hey!" He yelled. "I'm talking to you!"

Karen gave me a wary look as I stiffened. Smiling at her, I stopped, and turned toward the man, nearly making him hit me. Taking him in for the first time. The smell was the first thing I noticed. Then it was the blue of his eyes, the scruffiness of his face, the winkles etched in his skin. He was easily late forties to early fifties. His brown hair was mostly grey now and he was actually rather homely. Not to mention he was missing his right hand, being replaced with a very homemade looking metal contraption. Though at the moment it was sporting a long blade with blood caked onto it.

"I have ears. I heard you. I simply don't respond to a man's voice when it sounds like he's looking at fresh meat." I told him coolly.

"I am." He smirked before licking his top lip. "And it's a fine looking piece of meat."

"Don't make me vomit." I smirked back. "Dog."

Turning to walk away from him, he gripped my arm and spun me around and into him. "Now that wasn't very ladylike."

"It wasn't?" I said feigning ignorance. "Oh god, I'm sorry. I'll try again." I told him before growing serious. "I find you very unattractive and your voice is grating on the ears." I stated before gripping his shirt, straightening it. "Now than, clean yourself the fuck up and leave us the hell alone. You'll never find a woman in this world with the way you smell. It might be the end of the world but taking pride in oneself is still something one ought to do." Smiling, I slapped his cheek harder than I had to, turning and walking away from him.

Winking at Karen, we continued on our way, getting ourselves some dinner. Waiting in line with all the others, we took our steak, potato, and vegetable, sitting at one of the outside tables by the grills. Talking about nothing in particular, I couldn't help but feel a little bit better with a little confrontation in my life. Before long, Caesar appeared, getting food and joining us. We laughed and shared food, actually enjoying each other's company and what Woodbury had to offer. It was a nice distraction. At the same time a reminder of what those I loved would never have. I wasn't happy but I wasn't as sad anymore either. I was simply a body in motion, doing what bodies in motion are supposed to do.

Sleep.

Smile.

Laugh.

Fight.

Eat.

Love.

Kill.

Something like that…