Chapter Eight: Turning Tables
Waking up to knocking on my door, I groaned as I moved my body. Pain moved through me and it made me immediately irritable. Laying still again, attempting to relax, I stared at the ceiling, hoping whoever it was would just go away. When the knocking started again, I finally pushed myself off the bed. Slowly moving to the door, I unlocked it, opening it to see Caesar.
"Hey." I told him.
"What the hell happened to you?" He asked as he stepped through the door, taking my face in his hands.
"Dog."
"What?" He frowned.
"I'm fine, Martinez."
"Martinez?" He frowned harder.
"I'm sorry." I replied as I dropped back onto the bed. "I'm tired and sore. It's making me a little grumpy." He crawled onto the bed next to me, trailing his fingers up and down my back. "Mmm. That's nice." I told him, shutting my eyes.
He leaned closer to me, pressing his lips to my temple. "Just say the word and I'll kill him."
I opened my eyes and smiled at him, "Kill him."
He laughed. "Okay, fine. I won't kill him. But I'll give him another beating to engrain in his mind to never look at you, talk to you, or touch you ever again."
"I guess that'll do." I told him and kissed him quickly.
"We should get going." He replied.
"Go where?" I asked.
"We have a job to do."
Smiling, I kissed him again. "Okay."
Getting up, I was facing away from him. He couldn't see the frown on my face. He thought I actually enjoyed being with him. That somehow we were becoming the power couple of Woodbury. But if there was ever a day that he asked, he's be disappointed with my response.
"Wanna fool around for a little while first?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around me. "You up for that?"
I could hear the smirk in his voice. Turning my head, I forced a smile, turning in his arms before pressing my lips to his. "I think I can handle it."
Making sure he was satisfied, hiding the fact that none of this did anything for me, we finally got up and dressed, making our way to the armory. Shumpert was already there waiting for us. Crowley as well. Small groups were better than pairs as well as anything bigger than four or five. Reconnaissance had become the name of the game and if we did run into anyone, the Governor had left it up to us whether we took them home or killed them on sight. It all depended on how they treated us. But most of the time we came back with only those we left with. Dead or alive. Unless the walkers got us.
"Ready?" Shumpert asked.
"Always." I smiled, cocking my gun. "I'll drive."
"No." Caesar stated, taking the keys from me. "Last time you drove, we ended up in the ditch."
"That was one time." I told him, following him as he went to the truck.
"I'm driving." He said matter-of-factly.
"Fine." I told him with a raised brow.
"Good girl."
I shoved him but laughed, "Shut up. And I just realized that we skipped breakfast."
"Here." Shumpert told me, handing me a protein bar.
Taking it, I grinned at him over my shoulder, "You are an amazing man." He smirked and looked out the window. "Thank you." I told him.
"Suck up." Caesar shot at him over his shoulder.
"She's nice." Shumpert replied sweetly.
"Thank you." I told him again. Though most of the time I wasn't really very nice. "So, what is our mission today?" I asked my current lover.
"We are going to find a small group of people that is forming. Some of our scouts came across them. They fired on them so they reported it to the Governor. He wants them taken out."
"Of course he does." I replied and scoffed.
"You don't think so?" Crowley asked from the backseat.
Looking out the window, I shrugged, "I don't know. I was saved. Why the hell can't they be saved?"
"You didn't fire on us." Caesar stated.
Nodding, there was truth to that. But I was actively dying at the time. If the Governor and him hadn't shown up when they did, I would be a part of the walking dead that roamed the world. I guess I was grateful. At the same time, I would have been okay with dying. At least I thought I would. But my subconscious had other ideas. Deep down I guess I really wanted to live.
Parking the truck, we headed into the woods in the location we had been given. It was maybe a mile or two off the road when we heard the talking. There was laughter and the sound of cards being shuffled. A spoon was scrapping the bottom of a pot. Moving as silently as possible, we surrounded them, seeing what we were dealing with. There were seven of them. Most were middle-aged or a little younger. One older guy who looked quite content as he sat and watched his people. Cards were being played. Others were reading. They looked utterly harmless. Looking at Caesar, he nodded and stepped out.
"Hello." He said holding up his weapon, feigning peace.
Doing the same, I kept my gun up and at the ready. They all flew to their feet, one swinging up a shotgun. Swiftly gripping it, I swung it out of his grip before hitting him with the butt of it. Keeping hold of it, I held my handgun up and pressed it to his head.
"I suggest you all rethink firing against us." I told him menacingly.
"We're just here to talk." Caesar told them.
"Then talk." The older gentleman said with authority.
"How long have you been out here?" He asked.
"Long enough."
"Why did you shoot at our people?"
"We were defending ourselves. We've learned that it's smarter to shoot first and ask questions later."
I smirked at him, "Smart."
"You've learned it to." He said looking at me.
"The hard way." I nodded at him.
"So what do you plan to do?" He asked, still looking at me. "Shoot us?"
"Maybe." I replied. "What if we don't? What would you do? How can we trust that you won't retaliate?"
"Why would we? We are all just trying to survive."
"Pack up. Move on." Crowley told them.
The older gentleman looked at him. "No."
"You're too close for comfort." I told him. "We will offer it once. If you refuse than we will take you out."
He was clearly contemplating it. He looked at one of his comrades and in the next second, Shumpert was holding his leg, screaming. Shots went off but it was only them that fell. Stepping up to the older gentleman, he was clutching his stomach. Blood was spilling between his fingers, shock starting to set in.
"You should have just moved on." I told him.
"Don't let me become one of them." He pleaded with me.
"Why not?" I frowned at him. "You deserve it. If you had listened than none of this would have happened."
"We just wanted to survive."
I smirked at him. "I guess you failed."
Turning away from him, I left him to bleed to death. Someone someday would end his suffering, but it was not this day. He would turn and come back just like everyone else did. He would kill and feed and become a part of the walking dead. I should have just killed him, but I wanted him to suffer. He deserved to suffer.
"That was cold." Crowley told me.
I just shrugged at him. Shumpert was being helped by the two men. When we got back to the truck, I took a look at his leg, getting the first-aid kit from underneath the passenger seat. It was just a graze. Whoever had shot him didn't have very much experience with guns. Cleaning it, I put a pressure bandage on it. I wasn't even sure it would need stitching but the bandage would suffice for now.
When Woodbury came into sight, I helped Shumpert to Dr. Stevens while the men went and gave their report. I didn't care if I gave one or not. If the Governor really wanted to hear what I had to say, he'd could come and find me. I didn't answer to him, even if he was the leader of this town.
Walking back toward my apartment, today was not a lucky day for me. Hearing my name, I saw the Governor walking toward me. Sighing, I crossed my arms and waited for him to get to me. I didn't feel like talking to him but this was one of those moments where I had to suck it up, swallow my stubbornness and just get it over with.
"What?" I asked him.
"I was just looking for your report." He replied.
"Why?" I frowned at him. "I'm sure you got it all from the boys."
He nodded, "Crowley made it sound like you were a bit…harsh."
Laughing lightly, I shifted my weight, "Harsh? I left a man there to bleed to death and turn. I can't say that's any different than slaughtering them all."
"We like to be humane." He replied.
Laughing again, I shrugged my shoulders, "Well, the job is done. They shot at us and I felt that he needed to suffer."
He smiled and nodded, "I can't say you were wrong."
"Thank you?" I replied with a frown.
It was his turned to laugh, "Stubborn till the end."
"Very." I smirked at him.
"You seem to be settling in okay."
"It's been over a month. I'd hope I've been settling in okay."
He smiled and nodded, "I suppose you're right."
"Anything else?" I asked him.
"No. No, go about your day."
"Thank you." I told him and turned away.
"I'm going to be borrowing Martinez for a while." He called after me.
Turning back to him, I couldn't help the furrow of my brows, "That's fine."
He nodded, "Alright, just making sure."
Nodding, I turned again and walked away from him. I didn't care that he was going to take Caesar for a while. I was more than capable of keeping myself busy. Going back to my apartment, I took a shower before standing in the middle of the room, looking around as I tried to figure out what to do to distract myself.
Looking at the bed, I sighed and walked over to it, crawling onto it and dropped onto my stomach. Shutting my eyes, I tried to fall asleep, only I couldn't seem to manage it. Rolling onto my back, I stared at the ceiling. For the briefest of moments I felt fingers brushing my arm and I jerked my head, seeing no one there. But it had been Ben. I'd recognize his touch anywhere. He was the first man I let touch me in a long time.
Feeling tears, I shut my eyes, letting them fall from the corners of my eyes as I silently cried. Picturing his face. Picturing him and Hannah and Mozzie. A girl and her dog running and playing with the farm in the background. Able to hear the chickens clucking and the cow mooing. The horses nickering. It had been the perfect life and now it was over. It had been over. It was time to move on and yet I felt like I was stuck in this moment of grief.
Deciding that the rest of day was going to be spent just lying here, I turned and hugged a pillow to my center. I wanted nothing more than to just disappear. Death was the easy way out and yet all I wanted to do was end my suffering. I could leave here and kill myself and no one would be the wiser. But it wouldn't be what Ben would've wanted for me. He would want me to move on. I was trying to.
Banging on the door woke me up, making me jump out of bed. Grabbing my gun from the bedside table, I flipped the safety off, slowly moving toward the door. "Who is it?"
"Something is happening." Karen told me through it.
"What kind of something?"
"They came back with people."
"Caesar?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"And I think you should see them."
Opening the door, I frowned at her, lowering my gun, "Why?"
"I don't know. I feel like they could be right up your alley." She replied with a shrug.
Sighing, walking back to the bed, I put my gun down. Karen followed, shutting the door, shuffling around while I changed. Running my fingers through my hair, I pulled it back into a pony; I tucked my bangs behind my ear before facing her again. Still frowning, I strapped my knife to my thigh and put my gun in the back of my pants.
"Wouldn't it be more comfortable if you got a holster for that?" Karen commented as we left the room.
"Probably." I replied. "But it's not going to happen. There's something comforting about the cool metal against my skin."
She shook her head and smiled at me, "You're weird."
"I can pull it from the back of my pants just as fast as I could out of a holster."
"A holster would be more practical."
"I don't care." I told her and moved faster. "So where are these people?"
"Infirmary."
Walking even faster, I saw Caesar coming toward me. When he reached me, his arm moved around my waist and he leaned in, kissing me sweetly. "Hey, babe."
"Hey." I said as I put my arm around him, hugging his shoulder. "I hear we have newcomers." He nodded and raised a brow. "Uh oh. What does that mean?"
"It means one is going to be trouble." He replied with annoyance.
"Which one?" I smirked at him.
"The black one." He stated.
"Don't be racist." I teased.
"I'm not." He replied.
Taking in his serious expression, I finally softened, "You okay?"
"Yeah." He said and kissed me once more. "You gonna be home soon?"
Taking his face in my hands, I kissed him deeply, "I'll find you."
He pulled me against his chest, his hands moving up and down my back, "Why do you want to see them anyway?"
"They're other people you've taken in. Might as well see what they know."
"Dog knows one of them." He told me.
"What?" I frowned.
"There are two women." He went on. "The blond knows him from Atlanta."
Nodding, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, "And the other?"
"A black chick that has a wicked sword." He said with a slight air of impressiveness. Laughing lightly, I put my hand against his face. "She's feisty."
"I'm feisty." I smiled at him.
He laughed and nodded, kissing me again. "Yes you are, babe."
"Okay." I said rubbing his cheek with my thumb. "I'll see you in a bit."
"Okay." He nodded, smacking my ass as he walked away.
Laughing, I looked over my shoulder twice before I finally started moving with purpose. Smiling, I shook my head, knowing that I'd be having some fun later.
"You like him." Karen stated.
Giving her an odd look, I nodded, "I've always liked him."
"I just mean that he's growing on you." She elaborated.
"He is." I told her. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to settle for him."
She smiled and shook her head, "You've stuck around this long. I don't know why you think you'll ever leave."
I shrugged at her. "You never know."
Walking into the infirmary Dr. Stevens was sitting there writing on a clipboard. "Caroline." She smiled. "What new injuries have we sustained today?"
"None that can be seen, Doc." I smiled back at her.
She sighed and shook her head, "Grief is never easy, kid."
"Tell me about it." I nodded. "So, what's the story on these newcomers?" I asked as I looked at the two of them. The blond was sleeping while the black was hovering over her protectively.
Stevens sighed, "The blond is pretty sick. I gave her a bolus of antibiotics so hopefully that'll help. She's dehydrated and malnourished. They both are. But I think they'll be okay."
"Personality?"
"One's sick and grateful. The other is feisty and wary."
Nodding, I stepped up to them. The black chick was immediately suspicious. Her hair was long and in dreadlocks, a bandana holding them out of her face. She shifted closer to her friend. Her dark eyes were trained on me. Her slim form looked strong. She was someone I'd rather be on the good side of versus the bad.
"She's sleeping." She shot at me softly.
"I don't want to disturb her." I smiled, crossing my arms.
"Then what do you want? To spew some more crap about this place?"
Laughing lightly, I grinned at her, "I know exactly what you're feeling. I was there myself." She narrowed her eyes at me, her brows furrowing. "I was rescued from the woods when my family was killed." She softened, sighing at me. "Trusting people is not my forte. I don't trust anyone other than myself. So I get it."
"Why are you telling me this?"
For a long moment I just looked at her. I didn't know why but Karen had been right. There was something about this woman that was screaming at me to warn her and have her get the hell out of here. This place wasn't what it looked like. This place would ruin you.
I stepped closer to her, glancing over my shoulder before talking even softer to her. "Because you need to be careful."
"Why?"
"This place isn't what it seems."
"I already figured that out."
"Fine." I told her shortly. "All I'm saying is that you need to be careful. Getting out isn't nearly as easy as getting in."
"I've gathered that."
Laughing again, I shook my head, "I'm just trying to help you. You don't need to be such a bitch about it."
She nodded, her shoulders dropping ever so slightly. Nodding back, I turned and left. Karen was still following me as I made my way back to my apartment.
"Well?" She asked.
"Well nothing." I told her. "I came. I saw. I chatted."
"And?"
"And I think they are people who needed help."
"And?"
"And I don't care past that." I frowned at her. "What did you expect me to do?"
She shrugged, "I don't know."
"Then back off."
"Why do you always have to be so difficult about things? I'm your friend. Not your little minion." She shot at me angrily.
Frowning, I stopped and looked at her, "The thing is, Karen, is that I never asked for you to be my friend. I didn't ask for a boyfriend. I didn't ask to be a part of this shit show. What I did ask for was to die with the rest of my family."
"Those two people arrive and suddenly you're angry again?" She frowned harder.
"I've always been angry. I just do well at hiding it." I told her and started walking again.
Going up to my apartment, I let myself in, seeing Caesar on my bed. He was sleeping on his stomach, a slightly worried expression on his face. Sighing, I stepped forward, falling onto the bed next to him. Reaching my hand up, I ran my fingers through his hair.
"I'm never going to love you." I whispered to him. "I'm sorry for whatever happens. But I'm not staying here. I don't want to be here and I don't want to be with you."
I'd wanted to say that to him so many times. I wanted him to know that this was nothing but a pit stop for me and that I would be moving on. But I didn't want to hurt him. So I kept playing my part. Doing what needed to be done to survive. Every day wondering why I cared if I survived or not.
Waking up to knocking on the door, I looked at Caesar, seeing him still sleeping soundly. Getting out of bed, I padded to the door, running my fingers through my hair as I opened it with annoyance.
"Huh." I frowned as I looked at the dreadlocked beauty.
"Can we talk?" She asked. Then I watched her raise a brow as she took in Caesar in my bed.
Sighing, I turned and grabbed a sweatshirt before leaving, closing the door behind me. "Come to judge me?" I asked as I walked down the hall.
"Can we go for a walk?"
"There is technically a strict curfew." I replied.
"Technically?" She asked with a raised brow.
Sighing, I nodded, "Let's go."
Going down to the street we started to walk, leading her down the usual route I took around the wall. We were stopped once by Crowley on top of the wall, but he swiftly gave us the okay after I talked to him briefly. I may not have been here long but I had made a reputation for myself. I still wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing, but in this moment it was definitely a perk.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" I asked after we'd started our third lap of the wall.
"What did you mean about it being hard to get out?" She asked.
Nodding, I smiled, "What did he tell you?"
"That we'd be safe here. We wouldn't have to run."
"He refused to give your weapons back?"
"Yes."
Laughing lightly, I smiled at her, "He's smooth, isn't he?"
"Very."
"What's your name?" I asked her.
"Michonne." She replied.
"Caroline." I told her as I held out my hand. She took it, finally breaking a small smile. "And he wants people here but he doesn't want them to be fighters. He wants people that he can mold into whatever he wants them to be."
"Did he mold you?"
"Hell no." I replied quickly.
"Then why are you still here?"
Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair. "I lost people and they took me in. I stayed because I knew that I needed a place to recover. I needed to grieve and get my head back in the game before I moved on."
"And have you?"
I sighed again, "Grieving is a long process."
"Who did you lose?" She asked softly.
Stopping, keeping her eyes for a long moment, I started walking again. "I had been alone for a long time. All I had with me was a dog that had decided that its best course of survival was sticking with me. For months we traveled on our own. Me and him. We met people. We killed people for trying to kill us. We scavenged and killed even more people for trying to take what we had found. I learned fast that there are worse things than death and that I wasn't afraid to kill. Not if it kept me living." Pausing, I stopped, looking at her. She had a focused expression with sadness in her eyes. "I found a man and his daughter who had a small hobby farm in the middle of nowhere. They were untouched by the world. I tried to leave them be but they wanted me." Then I smiled as a tear slid down my cheek, "They wanted me."
"You were happy." She offered softly.
"Yeah." I nodded. "Then people came and destroyed my home. They set it on fire with those I cared about inside of it. I lost that man and that girl. I lost the dog that had become my best friend and kid. I lost everything."
"Then they found you?"
"I was ready to die." I nodded at her. "I was ready and I wasn't sad about it. I was sad to have lost my family. I figured I'd given this world a nice run and it was time. Screw you world. Take me now." Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair again, another tear sliding down my cheek. "Then these people rescued me from the forest, cared for me, gave me a place to stay, and they gave me purpose."
"What purpose was that?"
"Kill all the bastards of the world." I replied coldly, hardening myself.
"You just run around killing people?" She frowned.
"Yup." I nodded. "And now that I've said it out loud, I'm a horrible excuse for a human being."
She frowned, looking at me as if she could see straight through me, "Why are you telling me all this?"
"Because something tells me that you know exactly what I'm talking about." I replied. "You have that feral look that comes from losing everything and trusting nothing." She nodded at me. "I'm saying this so you don't even think once about staying here. I kill for them because for some reason I want to stay alive. The family I lost wouldn't want me to die. Not even to join them." I told her and paused again before adding, "And sometimes things just need to be said."
There was a long pause where we didn't look at each other. Heavy silence lingering in the air as I tried to keep myself together. I thought I'd gotten past the instant breakdowns. The moments where it all felt like too much and that maybe death was easier than the alternative.
"What would you do if you tried to leave?" Michonne asked breaking the silence.
"They'd kill me." I told her nonchalantly, getting a look from her. "They know what I can do. It would be too dangerous to let me go. If I decided to hit them back, they know that I would stand a pretty good chance."
"That's ballsy." She frowned.
"Also true." I smirked at her. Taking a deep breath, I'd successfully pulled myself back together. "I come from a redneck family who owns a lot of guns." Then I scoffed, "I mean owned." She sighed and nodded at me. "I've never been a big hunter but I know how to shoot." A memory flashed behind my eyes, momentarily making it hard to breathe. Blinking repeatedly, I took a deep breath. "I know my guns. I know my bows. I know my rods. Growing up in the Midwest will do that to a person. I'm good in heat and in cold. I know patience. I know a lot of things."
"I thought Midwest people were supposed to be nice?" She smirked back at me.
I laughed and nodded. "I'm very nice. At least I used to be."
She nodded and started to walk again. "I did too."
"What timeframe did the Governor give you?"
"He said we can leave tomorrow."
Scoffing, I shook my head, "That's bullshit. Be careful, Michonne. He is not what he seems to be."
"You've survived."
"I also haven't tried to leave. I've been here long enough to gain some trust. I've also maneuvered myself into a position where I can influence his right hand man."
"The man in your bed?" She asked.
Nodding, I smirked at her again, "He's good for a few things."
"So soon after you lost your family?"
"I don't love him. Hell, I barely like him. But he is useful to me." I replied. "He's a welcome distraction."
"And the man who knows my friend?"
"He's an asshole. Stay away from him."
"Noted."
Making it back round to my apartment, I stopped and took a deep breath. "Anything else you want to know?"
"No. You've told me more than I expected."
Smiling, I wrapped my arms around myself. "There are some decent people here. Innocent people. But it's hard to see them like that when you know what their leader is capable of."
"What is he capable of?"
"Anything." I replied. "And that's the problem." She nodded. "You better get back to your room. I'll see you tomorrow if you're still here."
She nodded and disappeared into the shadows. Going back upstairs, I let myself back in, ready for more sleep. Crawling back into bed, Caesar took a sharp intake of breath, letting it out slowly as his hand found my back.
"Where were you?" He asked.
"I needed some air."
"You know there's a curfew."
I smiled at him, "I also know that Crowley is on the wall."
"Mm." He said softly. "Get some sleep."
"Yes, sir." I told him, kissing him softly before I rolled over, nestling into my pillow.