Beautiful Disaster

by My Writing Is This

The dead were walking and surviving was imperative. Caroline had hit the ground running. She tried to never look back. She was alone for too long. Learning to live and love again wasn't easy. People still mattered. Many would come in and out of her life and not all was as it seemed. She had to learn to be a person again and to find her place. And the one she was meant to be with.

13. Get Ready

Chapter Thirteen: Get Ready

Heading into the prison, Maggie and I were talking, laughing about something. She was a good person. I never thought in a million years that I'd meet genuinely good people who lived in a good place who did good things. There was no killing here. There was no constant fighting or delusions of how the world was. Everyone here got it and accepted it. More than that they had accepted me and that was everything. I would do anything for them to decide to keep me. To keep us.

"How are you feeling?" Hershel asked me.

"Better." I nodded at him. "You've raised an amazing daughter."

He smiled at me, "Thank you."

Maggie put her hand on my shoulder before walking away, disappearing into a cell. Hearing a cry, I looked up to see the blond and the baby coming. Smiling, I couldn't take my eyes off of the cooing baby girl. She was beautiful and a miracle. Thinking of Rick, I couldn't help but feel a wave of depression. He was as broken as I was. Even more so since his pain was much fresher than mine.

"What's your name?" I asked the blonde.

"Beth." She smiled at me.

Nodding, I took the baby's hand, "And hers?"

She smiled down at her charge, "Her name is Judith."

"Judith." I smiled. "Can I hold her?"

She looked at her father before she nodded, handing me the baby. Laughing lightly, I stared down at her as she looked up at me, cooing every once in a while. She truly was a beautiful baby. I didn't want to imagine what she had gone through in her short life. What others had gone through to bring her into this world.

"She's beautiful."

"She really is." Beth said as she gently gripped one of her tiny feet.

"Rick didn't want her holding Judith." Carol said stepping up us, attempting to take her from me.

I frowned and shifted away from her, "He's not here right now and I would never harm his child."

"We don't know you." She shot at me.

Laughing lightly, I grinned at her, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you've taken an immediate disliking to me."

"You are part of the reason Daryl left." She frowned.

"Are you sweet on him?" I smirked at her. She glared at me. "And for the record. I was unconscious when he took off. More than that, he saved my life. The only reason he isn't here is because of his fucking brother."

"Language." Beth scolded me.

"Sorry." I smiled at her before looking at Carol again. "And I'll be more than happy to kill him the next time I see him." She narrowed her eyes at me but didn't say anything. Smiling, I nodded at her, then looked to the entrance of the tombs as Glenn and Carl came out. "Here." I said handing Judith back to Beth. "Carl." I said rushing forward, they both were covered in blood and bits of walker. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He nodded at me as I lifted his chin.

"You sure?" I asked.

He offered a small smile, "Yeah."

"Okay." I said and looked at Glenn. "Well?"

"The tombs outside the boiler room are overrun again." He replied.

"That whole section had been cleared." Beth stated.

"It's a steady stream of walkers." Carl added.

Frowning, I put my hand on his shoulder, looking at Glenn.

"He did good." Glenn told me.

"Not the point." I frowned.

"You just got here." He replied. "He's not yours, Caroline."

"Again, not the point, he's just a kid." I shot at him.

"I'm all right." Carl told me.

Nodding, I sighed, looking at Hershel.

"We're wasting time." He told us. "The Governor is supposedly on the way and we're stuck in here with walkers."

"Trapped between a rock and a hard place." Carol stated.

Glenn looked annoyed, "For the last time, running is not an option."

"Glenn, if the tombs have filled up again, it may just be a matter of time before they push in here." Carol said joining Hershel's side.

"Or until some fence gives way." Beth added.

"What if one of them herds is passing through? Or settled?" Axel asked.

"Can't handle that with just the few of us." Carol stated.

"Okay. All right, we need – we just need to scout the far side of the prison. Find out what's going on." Glenn attempted to compromise.

"You're going out there?" Hershel asked.

"Take a car and make it quick." He replied.

"I'll drive." Axel offered.

"No, you stay here. Help with the fortifications. I'll take Maggie."

Hershel spoke kindly to him, "You sure she's up to that?"

Glenn just looked at him before walking away. Hershel crutched toward me. His expression was worried. Looking around, I didn't see Michonne anywhere. Unsure of where she went, I simply met Hershel's eyes, waiting for him to say something.

"What do you think?" He asked me.

"About what?" I countered.

He sighed, "You know what about."

Taking a deep breath, I was honest with him, "I agree with Glenn. It'll suck but if we plan it right than we can win against him. This place is large and there is no way that he can take it if we're prepared to keep him at bay."

"You want to fight him. I understand that. But we aren't ready for the kind of fight that you think is coming."

"You can be." I told him. "If we leave, what do you think will happen to the next group of people that come across this place? What if they settle and then the Governor comes and wipes them out? That would be on us because we were too afraid to fight him." I went on. "I'm not afraid, Hershel. I'm ready to fight him and I believe that we stand a chance."

Glenn came back out, walking past us all as he moved from the prison. Hershel quickly started to follow him. Going to Maggie's cell, I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe. She was clearly upset. I didn't know them well but before they were taken they were happy. But whatever happened to them in Woodbury affected her more than she was willing to admit.

"You let me talk. I'll listen if you need to do the same." I told her.

She smiled up at me, "Thank you, but I'll be alright."

"Okay." I told her stepping away. "But the offer stands."

"Thank you." She told me again.

Hearing a truck drive off, I didn't see Carl and Hershel hadn't come back in. Unable to stay inside where everyone was quiet and angry, wanting to run and abandon the place they'd managed to make a home, I went outside seeing Carl at the gate and Hershel looking out at the fence line.

"What do you see?" I asked as I stepped up to him.

"Rick." He stated.

Sighing, I looked, seeing him pacing, doing whatever he needed to do.

"You lost people." He stated, making me look at him. "Was it someone you loved?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"What happened?"

"I don't think we know each other well enough for me to simply blurt out all my personal shit." I frowned at him.

"Please?"

Sighing, I nodded, giving him the short version. "I found a man and his daughter. I fell in love. We were a family. They burned to death in a fire caused by people who wanted what we had."

"Were you there?"

"For all but the fire." I told him sadly. "I was in the woods killing the people who had tried to take our home. But there were others at the cabin, all of them died in the fire."

"Then you understand what he's going through more than any of us." He told me.

I frowned at him, "You didn't lose anyone you loved?"

"I did." He replied. "But at the time I was in a completely different mindset. The pair of you lost people you loved, didn't see it, but saw what happened after."

"It's not the same." I replied with a hard tone.

"I know." He nodded. "But I need you to come talk to him with me."

"No. He doesn't like me and I don't really care much for him."

"He's grieving. So are you."

"Aren't you all grieving for the people you've lost?" I frowned at him.

"It's not the same." He replied. "Rick's wife died during childbirth. They weren't in a good place and now he lost her, has a baby, and an entire group to protect. He won't admit it, but he needs help. You're the best suited for that right now."

"Bullshit." I frowned at him. "I'm not going to let you exploit my pain to help him with his."

"You want to stay and fight. He will, too. But he needs some help."

"If you want to help him than do it yourself." I said and turned away from him.

"Caroline!" He called after me, making me stop and look at him. "We don't know each other well. But if you want to stay than you will have to be a part of this group. Now, I'm asking for your help. Something tells me you're not the type to turn away when someone needs and asks for it."

Sighing, I nodded, "No, I'm not. At least I didn't used to be."

"Be her again. No one will listen to reason so I need your help. Help me keep this group alive."

Sighing, I smirked at him, "Damn."

He smiled, "Come on."

Laughing lightly, I followed him, watching him carefully as he crutched to the fence. We couldn't see Rick anymore and he started to yell his name. He kept yelling it and the woods still remained unmoving and quiet. Where was he? What the hell was he doing out here?"

"I don't think he's coming." I stated.

"What do you think he's going through?"

"Hell." I replied. "He's seeing her, Hershel. For a moment he thought I was her. He's broken. I'm not sure what I can do for him."

"You'll help him."

Sighing, I nodded, yelling, "Rick!" Nothing. "Rick, please!" Then there was movement, Rick appearing from the woods, looking like hell. "Jesus, Rick."

He came to the fence looking annoyed with us.

"You know I wouldn't have hobbled all the way down here if it wasn't important." Hershel told him. "Are you coming back soon? Glenn's on the warpath. Smart as he is, he can't fill your boots. I'm afraid he's reckless. We need you now more than ever."

"Well, if you're so worried about him, you lead." He replied. "Hell, let her lead."

"I don't want to lead, Rick." I told him.

"What are you doing out here?" Hershel asked him.

"I've – I've been – I've got…stuff out here. Stuff." Rick replied still detached from the real world.

"How much longer do you need?"

"I don't know. I don't –"

"I know what you're going through, Rick." I told him gently. "I want to help you."

"So do I." Hershel told him. "Is there anything we can help you with?"

Rick's eyes moved to mine and for a moment I wasn't sure who he was seeing. Then his eyes were on Hershel. "I saw something. Lori. I saw Lor – I'm seeing Lori." He said and paused. I nodded at him, feeling for him. "Look, I know that it's not really her. But there's got to be a reason. It's got to mean something, you know."

"Was it her on the phone?" Hershel asked.

Frowning, I didn't know what he was talking about, but Rick did.

"Yeah. Shane too at the town."

I knew that moment. That was right before he shot me. He was hallucinating. I can't say I'd had many hallucinations but I did have phantom feelings all the time.

"Do you see them now?" Hershel asked. "You're looking for them."

"I'm waiting."

"For what?"

"I don't know. Something. There's an answer. I know it doesn't make sense. Well, it does, it can make sense. I mean, I think in time it will make sense."

"It's never going to make sense." I told him softly, getting him to look at me. "Rick, it'll never make sense and what you're waiting for will never come." He just frowned at me. "I know where you are, Rick. I'm there, too. I waited, too, Rick. But no one is coming. She's gone and she isn't coming back. Even though you see her, she's just haunting you. She isn't going to give you any answers."

"She might." He told me matter-of-factly. "She might."

"Rick…? Come on in. You need rest. It's not safe out here."

"You do need rest." I told him. "But you also need to talk about it. For your own sake. For your sanity."

"I can't. I can't."

He turned away, going across a makeshift bridge that led across the river.

"Rick." I called after him. "Rick, please, I can help you."

"I don't need any help." He replied.

"You do, Rick. Let me help you." I called after him.

In the next moment there was gunfire and I swiftly pulled Hershel to the ground. Looking up, the Governor had arrived. Keeping close to Hershel, I pulled my gun out, starting to fire on anyone I saw. The others started to fire back as well. Lifting myself out of the tall grass, I saw Michonne by the bus, her sword drawn and ready. Then my stomach dropped as a big truck came barreling down the road, breaking through the gates. They parked it in the yard and opened up the back, letting the dead spill from inside of it.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I said as I looked at them. "Do you have a gun?"

"Yes." He said pulling it out.

Taking a deep breath, I met his eyes, "Let's bring it." Gunfire kept going off, aiming anywhere we were firing from. "Hershel." I said as the dead started to wander our way too.

"I'm sorry, Linny." He told me.

"I'm not asking for an apology." I shot at him. "Just be ready."

"Hershel! Linny! Get the hell out of there!" Rick yelled.

Shooting the dead, they had fanned out, seeming to come from every direction. Hearing trucks moving away, I looked to see the Governor and his men leaving, nearly hitting Glenn as he raced back onto the prison grounds.

Getting up, I looked down at Hershel, "Stay down. I'll kill as many as I can. Don't show yourself unless you have to."

"Linny." He said with worry, looking up at me.

"I've got this." I smiled at him.

Then I was moving, shooting the dead until I ran out of bullets. Pulling my knife free, they were coming from every direction, making me stab at a continuous rate, trying to stay alive and kill as many of them as I could. Swinging my arm, I knew I was going to be too late, seeing the walkers' teeth about to bite down on me. Only then it's head was blown away. Looking back toward the prison, Carol was breathing hard as I spotted her. Laughing, I nodded at her.

"Linny!" Michonne yelled, cutting down two before she was to me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I told her. "Hershel." I said and was running back toward him. Between me and Michonne, we managed to cut several more down before we got to him. "Come on, Hershel." I told him, getting him onto his feet.

Then Glenn was there, pushing the door open as Michonne and I got him inside of it. Jumping into the truck bed, Glenn took off back toward the prison. Maggie and the others met us when we finally stopped, the girls rushing to their father.

"Thank you." I told Carol.

She nodded at me, "You're welcome."

Looking out at the yard, it was swarming with the dead. Feeling like we'd killed several, it didn't seem to matter. They were everywhere. Looking around, everyone was grateful that everything was okay. At the same time I could see the disappointment on all their faces. They'd all worked so hard to clear the yard and make a home here only to have it reversed in just a matter of minutes.

"We'll clear it again." I said and looked at Maggie.

Then Rick was walking toward us, Daryl and Merle was with him. Daryl greeted everyone. They were all so happy to see him, Carol practically in tears at the sight of him. It made me wonder about them. But then he met my eyes and he smiled and nodded at me.

"Linny." He said stepping up to me.

"Daryl." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Last time I saw you, you were saving my life."

"Yeah. Sorry. I thought I belonged somewhere else."

I let him go, "Bullshit."

He lifted his chin, nodding lightly, "And what the hell are you still doing here?"

"I found where I belonged." I smiled.

He pulled me against him again. "Glad you're okay."

"You, too." I said squeezing him tightly.

"Well, well, well, princess. You're looking a little hellish." Merle said showing himself.

In the next second I'd closed the distance between us, punching him hard across his jaw. Screaming at him, my waist was grabbed and I was forced away from him, struggling to reach him. Merle now looked almost afraid as his brother pushed against his chest.

"I was there, too, princess. I helped save you." He told me.

"You've tried to kill me more than once. Sorry if I don't believe that you would ever try to save me." I shot back at him.

"It's okay." Rick told me softly.

"It's not okay." I told him, shrugging out of his embrace, going back inside. "Nothing about this is okay."

Everyone moved inside, gathering to decide what our next move was. Michonne and I hung just outside of the group, not feeling like we had a say in anything. Not yet. We listened as Hershel filled him in on what he had missed while he was searching for something that just wasn't there.

"We're not leaving." Rick stated.

Hershel looked annoyed, "We can't stay here."

"What if there's another sniper?" Maggie asked. "A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds."

"We can't even go outside." Beth added.

"Not in the daylight." Carol added next.

"If Rick says we're not running, we're not running." Glenn stated. He didn't want to run any more than Rick did. Any more than I did.

"No, better to live like rats." Merle said as he looked up in the recreation area between the bunks and hallway.

"You got a better idea?" Rick shot at him.

"Yeah, we should have slid out of here last night and lived to fight another day." Merle told him. "But we lost that window, didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now."

"We ain't scared of the prick." Daryl stated.

Laughing lightly, I ran my fingers through my hair, "You should be."

"I'm with her." Merle stated, pointing at me.

"I don't need your help." I shot at him.

"Calm down, princess."

"Shut the fuck up, Dog." I spat at him.

"You're a real piece of work." He said pointing at me.

"Get to the point." Rick interjected.

Merle nodded, looking at Daryl who had shifted just a little closer to me. "The truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground about this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

Rick looked at me, I sighed and nodded.

"Let's put him in the other cell block." Maggie said as she glared at him.

"No. He's got a point." Daryl said defending his brother.

She looked at Merle, "This is all you. You started this."

"What about her?!" He yelled and pointed at me. "She worked for him, the same as me."

"She helped save our lives." Maggie shot back.

"What difference whose fault it is?" Beth interrupted. "What do we do?"

"I said we should leave. Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here." Hershel told us.

"We know your opinion." I said with annoyance. "I'm sorry." I added quickly. "But it's too late for that." Then Rick was walking away.

"Get back here!" Hershel yelled at him. "You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something."

He kept walking. Sighing, I turned and left, following the sound of Rick's retreating steps. Hearing steps behind me, I glanced behind me to see Carl following. Catching up to Rick, I found myself in one of the areas where shipments were received. Pallets were put up against the sides of it. It wasn't much cover but it was still better than nothing.

Stepping next to him, we took in the walkers that were snarling and roaming the yard. They were attempting to get into the main area of the prison. The Governor had struck again. Carl stepped onto my other side and I wasn't entirely sure what I was doing, but I knew what he was feeling. I knew that emptiness. I knew what it was like to see someone who wasn't there anymore. If they were going to go up against the Governor – if we were – then he needed to find some sort of peace or he would risk everyone he was trying to keep alive.

"Do you see her?" I asked him. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "Do you see her now?" He shook his head. "I know what it's like, Rick." I told him softly. "I know what it's like to have your world crash down around you and you have no power over the outcome. It all just…ends." He bowed his head. "But it's not the end. You have people here who need you. They are looking out for you but now they are clearly looking for you to lead them. They want you to make the right choice and you're out here looking at walkers in the yard."

"You don't know what you're talking about." He shot at me.

"You don't know the first thing about me and I'm not trying to know the first thing about you. All I'm telling you is that if you want to go up against the Governor you need to make that decision now. You need to get out of your head. You need to let your dead wife go because even though she's gone she will still take everything from you."

"You don't know me." He frowned at me. "You don't know her."

"You're right. I didn't know her." I said crossing my arms as I faced him. "But I know grief, Rick. I know what it looks like. I know what it tastes like. And I know the destruction it can cause."

"You don't know me." He repeated.

Nodding, I stepped away from him. "You're right. I'm just a stranger who you may or may not let into your little family. Because I'm going to ask you to let us stay. Michonne and me. I'm going to ask that of you and in turn I will fight like hell to help you out of this mess with the Governor."

"I'll take that into consideration." He nodded at me.

Sighing, I looked at Carl who was looking at me like I was the enemy. Offering him a small smile, I nodded at him, "I'm really sorry about your mom."

"I am, too." He replied.

Turning, I walked away, hearing only silence from behind me. Going back into the cell block, everyone looked like they were on a mental overload. Everyone knew what the Governor was capable of and they were afraid. They had every right to be afraid.

"You okay?" Michonne asked me.

I nodded at her, "I feel surprisingly good actually."

"What did you say to him?" She asked.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair, "Nothing that he wanted to hear or appreciated."

"He's been through more than one person should." Hershel told me with a small smile.

"So have I!" I unintentionally yelled at him. "Look at me! You have no idea what I've been through. What I've done. Who I've lost. You don't know me. And I don't know you." I went on looking at them all. "I don't know the first thing about any of you and yet I'm willing and able to fall in line. I'll do whatever I can to help you fight the Governor but I will not stand by a leader that may not have any business being one anymore." Breathing hard, I crossed my arms. "I'm sorry. But I know what they'll come here to do. We have two options. Which one are you gonna choose?"

There were steps again and I looked over my shoulder to see Rick. He was looking determined, "We fight."

Falling in step behind him, he moved further into the cell block, "What's your plan?"

"You fought for him. What do you think?" He asked.

"What do I think?" I frowned at him. "Why are you asking me what I think?"

"Because you fought for him." He told me slowly.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair again, "Fine." He motioned toward me to say something. Looking at everyone, their eyes were all on me. "Okay. They are going to come in with guns blazing. They are going to break everything down and they are going to blow this place to shreds. Merle was right, the truck was just him ringing the doorbell." I said and paused. "They have the weaponry for it and they will not hold back. The Governor is ruthless and he will come here and kill all of you. He's not used to losing. So if you want any chance at winning we need to outsmart him. It'll take a lot of work and we will have to fight it out to make the best plan possible."

"But you think we stand a chance?" Maggie asked.

Looking at her, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before I nodded, "I think we do."

"What about Caesar?" Merle piped up. "What about Karen?"

Looking at him, I clenched my jaw, "We aren't going after Woodbury. We're going after the madman who leads them. And you should be going down with him."

"Linny." Daryl said stepping toward me.

"No." I said glaring into his face. "You have no idea what's he's done."

He nodded, "I know. But he's my brother."

Sighing, I put my hand across my forehead, meeting his eyes with dampness in mine. "You don't understand." I told him softly.

"Then tell me." He replied softly.

"No." I said and gently pushed him away from me. "Right now we need to fight the Governor. Not each other."

He nodded but stayed near me.

Rick nodded, looking at Maggie, "Take watch. Eyes open, head down. Field's filled with walkers." Then he addressed everyone. "I didn't see any snipers out there, but we'll keep Maggie on watch."

"I'll get up in the guard tower, take out half them walkers, give these guys a chance to fix the fence." Daryl added.

"I'll help him." I added.

"Or we use some of the cars to put the bus in place." Michonne added.

"We can't access the field without burning through our bullets." Hershel stated.

"So we're trapped in here." Glenn told us. "There's barely any food or ammo."

"Been here before." Daryl told him. "We'll be all right."

"That's when it was just us. Before there was a snake in the nest."

"Man, we gonna go through this again? Look, Merle's staying here. He's with us now. Get used to it."

"Hey." Rick shot at them.

"All y'all."

"Seriously, Rick, I don't think Merle living here is really gonna fly." Glenn stated.

"I'm with him on this one." I said stepping closer to him. "I have lived with him and it wasn't fun. Sleeping with one eye open gets really old."

"I can't kick him out."

"I wouldn't ask you to live with Shane after he tried to kill you." Glenn countered.

Looking at Rick, he met my eyes but didn't say anything.

"Merle has military experience. He may be erratic, but don't underestimate his loyalty to his brother."

"What if we solve both problems at once? Deliver Merle to the Governor. Bargaining chip. Give him his traitor, maybe declare a truce."

"That won't work." I said shaking my head. "You're right that Merle will officially be labeled a traitor. The Governor isn't going to care what happens to him anymore. He'll kill him along with the rest of us. He's not going to make a truce and if he does it will only be a front to something worse."

"She's right." Merle agreed, smirking at me.

"Look somewhere else." I shot at him.

"Enough." Rick said stepping toward me.

Sighing, I nodded ta him, "Sorry."

"Don't be." He told me. "I get it."

The group slowly dispersed, leaving me standing there alone with Rick. The only people I could really hear were Daryl and Carol talking above us. Little Judith was cooing as her favorite person rocked her. Crossing my arms, I looked at Rick, not really sure what to say. He just nodded and walked away from me. Sighing, I scuffed my shoe against the floor.

"You okay?" Michonne asked as she stepped up to me.

"I don't know." I told her. "Maybe we just don't know each other well enough to make this work."

"Which 'we' are you talking about?" She frowned.

"All of us." I replied before walking away.

Finding myself on the catwalk, I sat down, leaning my back against the fence, looking out at the still zombie-infested yard. Planning our next move was harder than I thought it would be. I had a clear idea of how I wanted it to go down. I was here because I knew the Governor and what he was capable of. Rick was stubborn and he clearly still wasn't sure about me, and that was fine. He didn't have to be sure about me. I only wanted to help save him and his people. I let him shoot me for god's sake.

Before long, steps approached and I raised a brow, sighing as Michonne sat next to me, "We know each other well enough."

"Which 'we' are you referring to?" I smirked back at her.

"We know each other well enough." She repeated with furrowed brows.

Sighing, I nodded, "Maybe it's time we move on."

"To where?"

"I don't know."

"We can't leave. We may not know these people well enough yet but I feel like we need to see this through. With them."

Nodding, I looked at her, "And you don't want to leave Andrea just yet."

She shook her head, "I'm not ready."

"I'm ready." I told her sadly. "I'm so ready to leave all of this behind. Go to the other side of the world and try it there. Here there are just too many memories."

"You're not alone in that." She replied. "I'm pretty sure Rick is losing his mind."

"I know what that feels like."

She gently rubbed my back. "I know."

We were silent for a few minutes before there was commotion. Looking at Michonne, we both got to our feet and were running. Moving through the prison and out the doors, Rick was letting Andrea through the gate. As soon as she was through, Rick rushed to her, pushing her toward the inner gate.

"Hands up! Turn around." He shot at her.

"What?" She said clearly surprised.

"Turn around now!" He told her. She did, all of us watching as he searched her, throwing her to the ground. "Get down on the floor. I asked if you were alone."

"I am." She replied.

He tore her pack from her body, tossing it aside before leaving her on her knees. She was defenseless and clearly afraid.

"Welcome back." He told her before yanking her back onto her feet. "Get up."

Moving to Daryl's side, I gripped his wrist. "Do you all know her?" I frowned.

"She's one of us." He nodded.

"She's his now." I told him with a dark expression.

He took my hand, "Come on."

We reached the others as Andrea and Carol were reuniting.

"After you saved me, we thought you were dead." Carol told her.

Andrea just hugged her tightly before turning to the rest of them. "Hershel, my God. I can't believe this. Where's Shane?" She asked Rick who shook his head. "And Lori?" Rick just scoffed.

"She had a girl." Hershel told her. "Lori didn't survive."

"Neither did T-Dog." Maggie added.

Andrea looked devastated. "I'm so sorry. Carl."

Looking around the room. Everyone was being cold to her. She might have been one of them but they clearly thought she had betrayed them. She was with the Governor and he was looking to kill them. She was a part of it.

"Rick, I –" She started. Rick didn't say anything, averting his eyes from hers. "You all live here?"

"Here and the cell block." Glenn told her.

"There?" She pointed to the door, starting to walk toward it. "Well, can I go in?"

Rick shook his head, "I won't allow that."

"I'm not the enemy, Rick."

"We had that field and courtyard until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up."

"He said you fired first."

"Well, he's lying." Rick frowned.

"Bullshit." I shot at her in the same moment.

"Linny." Rick said with authority.

"What is she even doing here?" Andrea asked as she motioned to me.

"That's really none of your concern." I shot at her.

Rick stepped toward me, "Please?"

Sighing heavily, I nodded at him, "Sorry."

"It's alright."

"He killed an inmate who survived in here." Hershel told her.

"We liked him. He was one of us." Daryl added.

Andrea looked she almost didn't believe us, "I didn't know anything about that. As soon as I found out, I came. I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out."

"That was days ago." Glenn stated.

"I told you, I came as soon as I could." She repeated, all of us just looking at her. Then her eyes were on Michonne. "What have you told them?"

Michonne frowned, looking at me before her, "Nothing."

"Are you two ganging up on me?" She shot at us.

"No." I replied. "We don't have to."

She just shook her head, circling us, "I don't get it. I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?"

"He almost killed Michonne and he would have killed Caroline. He would have killed us." Glenn told her.

She pointed at Merle, "With his finger on the trigger. Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you?" She said and paused. No one said anything. "Look, I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done."

I laughed lightly, "Philip."

"But I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out." She went on.

"There's nothing to work out." Rick told her. "We're gonna kill him. I don't know how or when, but we will."

"We can settle this. There is room at Woodbury for all of you."

Merle chuckled, "You know better than that."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I told her, actually floored that she would think he would let us in. "You can't be this naïve."

"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate? Did he say that?" Hershel asked next.

"No."

"Then why did you come here?" Rick asked her. It was obvious that he truly wanted to know.

"Because he's gearing up for war." She replied. "The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack."

Laughing, I was feeling the anger building in my chest. Pacing away, Daryl gripped my arm, stopping me.

"I'll tell you what." He told her. "Next time you see Philip, you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye."

"We've taken too much shit for too long." Glenn told her with conviction. "He wants a war? He's got one."

Andrea was starting to look defeated. "Rick. If you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town. Look at you. You've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore."

"You want to make this right, get us inside." He replied.

"No."

"Then we got nothing to talk about." He told her and walked away.

I looked around the group, "I got us in once. I can do it again."

Andrea's eyes were on me so quick, judging and glaring. "You're the reason people are dead. You got them in and people were killed."

"You weren't doing anything about it." I shot back.

"I didn't know." She retorted.

Scoffing, I nodded at her, "Exactly, Andrea. You didn't know. You think you sit at the right hand of the devil but you're not even in the same room. If you don't do something soon, you're going to just be another casualty of the shit he will rein down on all of us."

"You think you're some tough shit." She said stepping closer to me. "You think that because you lived there and left there that you have some inner knowledge of what's going on. But you're even below me."

Laughing, I took a step closer. "I may not have been in his inner circle, but I was sleeping with someone who is. I know more than you do. I know more than you think I do. I know things, Andrea. That's how I know you're going to die."

"Linny." Michonne said from behind me.

"Unless you do something soon. You are going to die." I added and walked away.

Finding myself back on the catwalk, all I wanted to do was be alone. A few minutes of peace and quiet so I could think. Andrea was a fool for thinking she could sway him. She was signing up for death by staying with him. She had no idea what she was getting into. What made it worse was that she actually thought she was helping. Bridging the gap between us and them. It wasn't going to happen. He was going to kill us if we didn't kill him. And I wasn't ready to die.

"Sorry." Rick said making me jump. "I'll leave you alone."

"I can be alone with you here." I told him gently.

He met my eyes, nodding at me before he came and stood next to me. He gripped the fence while I stood with my arms crossed taking it all in. I understood that he wanted to give her a chance. But I just didn't trust her. She was being manipulated. It was only a matter of time before she realized that. But by then she'd probably already be dead.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

Scoffing, I shook my head, "You don't want to know what I'm thinking. You'll still do whatever you want."

He shifted his feet, "I still want to know."

Meeting his eyes, I held them for a long moment, "I think we need to act. She isn't going to be able to sway him. He'll use her and then he'll kill her and he'll still come for us." He nodded. "What do you think about that?" I asked him.

"I think you're right." He replied. "But she's one of us. At least she used to be. We gotta let her try."

"Okay." I told him.

"You'll be ready for anything." He stated.

"I will."

"I'm gonna…" He started but stopped, dropping his eyes. "I'm gonna try and count on you. You know the way he works. You know what to expect."

"I do."

He met my eyes again. "I'm gonna try."

Smiling, I nodded at him. "It's okay to let people in, Rick. No matter how hard you want to push them away."

"Are you speaking from experience?"

"Yes. And I haven't let anyone in for a long time."

"So how do you know it's okay?"

"Because I'm trying, too." I told him sadly.

He nodded and walked away. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. A fight was on the horizon and I couldn't help but feel exhausted already. This world would chew you up and spit you out if you weren't careful. But at some point enough had to be enough. I was a fighter. I would keep fighting. But I was tired.

"Hey." Daryl said softly as he walked toward me.

Smiling, I relaxed a little, "Hey."

"How you holding up?"

I shook my head, taking another deep breath, "I'm worried."

He nodded. "We'll be okay. We're all gonna make it."

"I know." I replied quickly. "I didn't nearly kill myself to die now."

"Do you wanna die?" He asked.

"Regularly." I replied nonchalantly.

"I'm serious." He stated with an air of annoyance.

Meeting his eyes, I repeated, "Regularly."

He stared at me, his brows furrowed as he worked his jaw a little. "How come?"

"When you lose everything, your life is all you have left, and sometimes it just seems easier to give that up, too." I replied.

"It's not."

"Still doesn't change the fact that sometimes I long for it."

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked gently.

I laughed lightly, shaking my head, "No. But thank you."

We stood there in silence until we heard voices, knowing that Andrea was leaving. Staying with Daryl, we walked to the entrance, seeing Glenn drive up and get out, leaving the engine running. Then he pulled out a gun, checking it before handing it to her. I don't know what he expected but neither a car or a gun was going to save her. It was wasted effort.

As soon as she was gone, it was obvious that her visit had done more than I'd expected. Everyone seemed sad and anxious. Merle and I seemed to be the only ones who didn't give a fuck what happened to her.

"Do you feel coldhearted?" Merle asked as he stepped up to me.

"No." I replied.

"Me neither." He added. "We're more alike than you think."

Glaring up at him, I was about to comment when Daryl stepped just in front of me, "Leave her alone, man. It ain't gonna happen. I ain't gonna let it."

Smiling, I pressed myself against the back of his shoulder. "What he said."

Merle just smirked and walked away. Daryl looked down at me, getting me to raise a brow at him. "He might be my brother, but there ain't no way in hell I'm gonna see you with him."

"I appreciate that." I smiled. "But it was never going to happen anyway. He's been coming on to me since the second he saw me. I've successfully kept him at bay so far. Also, he's tried to kill me more than once." I lifted my shirt, showing him the stitches in my side.

"That was him?" He asked pointing after his brother.

I nodded, "Yeah, but don't hold it against him. He's your brother after all." He frowned down at me. "Isn't that your biggest defense?" Putting my hand on his arm, I walked away.

"Caroline." He said from behind me, making me turn to him. "You're one of us now. You'll be treated the same."

Feeling anger again, I stepped up to him again, "And you left after you knew that he was the one to capture and beat Glenn and Maggie. So please don't tell me that your allegiance lies more with Rick and the group than with your own brother because you've already chosen him over them."

"Over us." He corrected. "I realized my mistake and I came back."

Nodding, I sighed, running my fingers through my hair before crossing my arms, "That's a start."

"It is."

Looking up at him, I narrowed my eyes, "You seem to have taken to me more than the others. Other than Maggie. Why is that?"

"You're a fighter." He replied, smirking before he walked away.

Smiling, I laughed lightly, shaking my head as I rolled my eyes. Seeing Michonne, I stepped up to her, knowing that she would be hurting right now. She was hoping to save her friend and now it would seem that she was going to lose her.

"How you holding up?" I asked her.

"I'm fine." She replied.

I put my hand on her forearm, her arms crossed in front of her, "You're not alone, Michonne."

"I know." She smiled.

"I know you know but I need you to still hear me. You are not alone. We are all in this together."

She wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you, Linny."

"No. Thank you." I replied.

Everyone was pretty quiet, the same thoughts going through everyone's head. The outcome was different for everyone but everyone was still thinking about the same thing. Except for maybe Judith. I was pretty sure that she was thinking about food and comfort and the smile on people's faces.

Finding myself sitting against the wall, we were all in a large circle, just sitting with each other. The sun was setting and the prison was growing dark. We had a fire lit, illuminating the room so we could watch each other's silent expressions. Looking up, Daryl was leaning on the second floors railing. Smiling up at him, he just nodded toward me. Sighing, the silence was feeling heavy, only then Beth started to sing. She had a beautiful voice. Knowing the song she was singing, I joined in on the second verse, getting people to look at me. But I didn't care. It was calming and I actually enjoyed singing. Despite how bad I was at it. Beth smiled at me, making me feel just a little more connected to her. It was a small reprieve from what was about to happen, but was welcomed and needed. We needed it more than we thought.