Tressa had taken to pacing in the room that she and Ophilia were sharing for the night, unable to calm herself no matter how hard she tried. Ophilia had been watching the Ember as it flickered in the Lanthorn, something she had taken to doing when she felt particularly contemplative. That day had brought out something deep and raw in all of them, and she hadn't spoken a word in ages. Tressa had already taken care of getting new weapons for everyone in the group, and while she would have been more than content to go shopping to help the rest of the day bleed by a little bit faster, she couldn't find the energy given what had happened that afternoon.
Vanessa's actions were still hanging heavily on Tressa's mind. She had always wanted to be a merchant, and while part of her dreamed of finding a nice mansion somewhere to settle down in one day with the people she cared about most, she was fine with disposing of that ideal if it meant doing honest work only. Tressa wanted to make people happy, and she wanted to do what she could to help them too. That had been her desire for as long as she could remember, and Tressa doubted that it was going to ever change. She would never dream of hurting others in the name of her own wishes, and Vanessa... Tressa wished that she had gotten all of her rage out when the woman was still conscious, to say the least.
Ophilia being uncharacteristically quiet wasn't exactly helping Tressa's mood much. Ophilia was staring silently at the Lanthorn, a frown on her face. It didn't take a genius to see that there was something else plaguing the cleric, not that she would ever admit it openly. Tressa had no idea how she was going to get the truth out of Ophilia, but she knew that she had to try. Her pacing wasn't helping her to think at all, but it did something to get rid of her excess energy, she supposed.
Tressa eventually got sick of measuring her words, and she forced herself to stop before turning to Ophilia. "Are you okay?" Tressa asked, already knowing what the answer was going to be.
Ophilia looked as if she had been pinned against a wall with the distress that suddenly bloomed in her eyes at Tressa's words. She blinked for a moment before swallowing and nodding. "Yeah... Everything is fine," she assured Tressa. "You don't need to worry about me." Ophilia's smile was so painfully fake that it made Tressa want to pull her own hair out. Between Alfyn, Vanessa, and now Ophilia, Tressa was getting tired of people pretending to be something they so obviously were not.
"Don't lie to me," Tressa snapped back, though her words were laced with concern the whole way through. She sat beside Ophilia a moment later, and the cleric watched her with wide eyes. "I don't want to make you upset or anything, but... I can tell that there's something else on your mind. You're having a hard time, aren't you? What happened with Vanessa... It's bothering you. I can see it. Just... Talk to me about it. Please? I don't want you to leave yourself with this for too long, and if it means I have to push you a bit, then... I'll do it. I just don't want to see you get hurt."
Ophilia was stunned into silence by Tressa's words, and it seemed like all of her will to fight melted away in the blink of an eye. She looked back down to the Lanthorn, and the Ember cast her face in a strange silvery glow that did little to hide the grief spreading across Ophilia's features. "My father... He's sick back home," she murmured. "I wasn't even supposed to go on the Kindling in the first place. It should have been Lianna, my sister. Instead, I'm the one doing it because our father is sick. Lianna wanted to stay with him, and I couldn't force her to go out and do this. Seeing Vanessa hurt so many people... She made those people sicker than ever before for the sake of her own profits. I don't know how anyone can be so cruel as to hurt people like that. It's... It's..."
"Monstrous," Tressa finished for her, and Ophilia nodded her agreement. Tressa sighed before looking down at her hands. "I wish I could say that you're wrong, but... You're right. I don't know how Vanessa can live with herself after everything that she's done, but... I guess we can't really do anything to yell at her now. She's in the dungeon, and I doubt she's going to be let out any time soon given everything that she did here."
"Yeah," Ophilia hummed before she let out a heavy sigh. "Just... I don't know. I can't believe that there are people out there who are so terrible to one another... I know that there are people who can be nothing short of awful, but... I liked to think that there were better people out there. I don't want to have to face the evils of the world all the time. I'm already trying to get home in time to see my father again. I don't... I didn't want to see Vanessa do all of this. I'm so unbelievably upset that she would even dream of something like that, and... And..."
"You don't know how to say it, but you're mad," Tressa finished for her, and Ophilia nodded. Tressa sighed before looking up at the ceiling of the room. "I'm mad at her too. I always thought... I don't know. I mean, back in Rippletide, the biggest danger we had to deal with were pirates, and we were able to take care of that with smiles on our faces. I was just a merchant girl back there, and while I know that I couldn't have stayed that way forever... It's just..."
"It's hard to see all of this," Ophilia said simply.
Tressa hesitated before sighing again. "Yeah," she murmured breathlessly. "I can't go back to the person I was before, and I don't even think I would want to at this point. I do know that I don't want to have to deal with people like Rufus and Vanessa though. Helgenish... That was the first time I ever saw someone who was truly evil down to his core. He was hurting people to make himself feel stronger, and... Rufus was doing the same thing. Then we get here, and Vanessa... It's the same thing all over again."
"Something about Vanessa feels so insidious," Ophilia admitted, though she wasn't quite sure how she was meant to phrase it. "She was acting like she was helping those people as per her job. Instead... She was hurting them. Nobody would have given her a second glance if Alfyn hadn't figured out what she was doing."
"I don't get how people can be so awful to each other," Tressa muttered with a shake of her head. "Just... I don't get any of this. I know that there are awful people out there, but... I guess that with Helgenish and Rufus, it was easy to say that they weren't like the rest of us. They were rich and lived on top of the people that they've stepped on, but... Vanessa walked around Goldshore like everybody else. She pretended to help people with a smile on her face. She's done that to countless people before all of this started, and we're never going to be able to say for sure how many people she hurt. There are so many of her victims whose lives have been changed because of her selfishness, and... I don't know what to do about any of this. I want to help people, but... We can't save everyone, can we?"
Ophilia was quiet for a long time as she thought over those words, but she eventually settled on shaking her head. "No... We can't," she admitted softly. "We did the best we could for the people who Vanessa hurt though, and the least we can do now is try to move forwards and hope that we can help others along the way too. Tomorrow, we'll be in Stonegard, and I think that we're going to be able to help H'aanit's master at long last. She's been scared for him, and... I think it's going to be important for all of us."
Tressa nodded at that, though she could tell there was more to what Ophilia was saying than she was willing to admit at a first glance. Ophilia was desperate to help others, and this situation was only continuing to draw out the parts of her that wanted to ease the suffering of those around her. It was obvious why Ophilia had been chosen for the Kindling given her infinite love and empathy for the rest of the world, and Tressa couldn't help but feel sick at the fact that Vanessa ruthlessly took advantage of people like that. All of them had been kind enough to believe her, even if it was just for a short while, and she had responded by stabbing them in the back with all the force she possibly could have. Even just thinking about Vanessa was enough to make Tressa sick whether she wanted to admit it or not.
Tressa leaned back and stared up at the ceiling before shaking it off and shifting her attention to the Tempest Spear. She tested the weight of the weapon between her fingers, and she wondered if the gods had been right to choose all of them for this mission, whatever the hell it was supposed to be. There was still so much they didn't understand, and the lack of information was enough to make Tressa feel sick to her stomach. She tried to shake it off, but she could already tell that it wasn't going to be that simple. She wanted to know what was happening, and she wanted to know why any of this was taking place at all. It felt like she didn't understand anything, and Vanessa had simply been the one to prove just how hollow and clueless she and the rest of the group truly were.
Ophilia continued to watch the Ember dance inside the Lanthorn, and Tressa found herself staring at it as well. She didn't know what answers could be found within the flames, but she was desperate to find some sense of salvation in the white pyre even if she knew it wasn't going to be that simple. Maybe Stonegard would have some answers for them. That was Tressa's dream, at the very least, though she could already tell that she couldn't let her hopes get too high. After everything that had happened in Goldshore, part of Tressa wanted to hide under a bed somewhere until all of this blew over, but nothing was ever that simple.
No matter how much she hated having to admit it, they were simply going to have to confront everything that Vanessa had done whether it be then or at some point in the future. She had shaken all of them, and Tressa despised how easily she had done it. She deserved better, and so did all of her friends. She hoped that Vanessa regretted everything that she had done wherever she was rotting away now beneath the grounds of Goldshore. That was the least Vanessa deserved.
Alfyn stared down at the mead in his mug at the tavern, a distorted version of his reflection looking back at him in the murky liquid. He began to slosh it around within the cup, watching as the drink churned silently. He had been nursing drinks for the last hour or so, not that he could bring himself to drink that much. Normally, it was a great way for Alfyn to forget about the strife the rest of the world had to offer him, but it wasn't as if that could help him when he couldn't leave his problems at the door. He kept on thinking about Vanessa and how she had willingly left Flynn to die, and his mind was pained with the expression of the young girl doubled over in her silent agony. Vanessa had done that to countless others before this too. She was a monster, and part of him was still convinced that he was like her.
Alfyn knew what Therion had been doing when they had spoken earlier. Everything that Therion had said wasn't a matter of not trusting Alfyn or any other members of the group. Instead, Therion was simply afraid of what might happen if he gave himself the chance to admit that he truly did care about. He was acting out of fear and self-sabotage, and Alfyn knew that. Still, it didn't stop the way that Therion's words hollowed out his stomach with fear and regret.
This shouldn't have hurt so much. Vanessa stepping out of line shouldn't have meant so much to him, and yet, he couldn't get her out of his head no matter how hard he tried. A headache pounded at the back of his mind, and it had nothing to do with the two drinks he had already enjoyed. Well, enjoyed was a strong word. He hadn't really had fun with much of anything that afternoon. It was ridiculous to think that Vanessa was doing so much to hurt him without batting an eyelash, and Alfyn wondered if she would ever regret what she had done. She hadn't cared at all about killing every member of Alfyn's party if it meant keeping her secret, and she had seemed so apathetic to the idea of leaving the people of Goldshore to die because of her actions. She didn't seem to care what she did at all. As long as it served her own purposes, she would be alright. Her apathy was a blessing that Alfyn hadn't been given, it seemed.
Alfyn swallowed dryly before he took another drink. He didn't normally hit the tavern this early in the day, but he couldn't help it. He just wanted to forget about all of this. How could he tell the rest of the group that he was worried about what Vanessa had done? He didn't even trust himself enough anymore to say that he wasn't going to be like her. Vanessa had likely held something resembling goodness in her heart at one point, but in the end, she surrendered it in the name of her own greed. Alfyn liked to think that he was a good person. Still, that didn't mean that he was in the clear. He could have slipped and become like her at any moment. For all he knew, that was still in his future.
"I figured I would find you here."
Alfyn just about jumped out of his skin at the sound of Olberic's voice. He turned to see both Olberic and Cyrus approaching him. Olberic's expression was stony as always, but Cyrus wore a gaze made of pure concern. Alfyn could already tell what they were going to ask him about, not that he knew how to respond. He stared for a long moment before pressing a smile on his features. Alfyn almost made himself sick with how painfully fake it all felt. "I didn't expect company," he chimed in, trying to seem as merry as possible. He could tell that Olberic and Cyrus weren't going to buy it, but he felt like he at least had to try. He had told Ellen the importance of staying positive, and he had no right to say something like that if he didn't put in the same effort.
Sure enough, Olberic didn't respond to his merry greeting, instead simply sitting off to Alfyn's right while Cyrus sat on Olberic's other side. Alfyn watched them carefully before staring back into his mug, knowing that meeting their gazes would only invite them to poke and prod holes in the mask that he was trying so desperately to keep intact. "Is there something you two need?" he asked cautiously, already knowing that something was going to fall apart before their conversation was through.
"We wanted to ensure that you were alright," Cyrus replied as he looked at Alfyn from head to toe. Alfyn felt like he was being pinned to the spot by Cyrus' sheer intensity, especially when the scholar shook his head with a light hum. "It seems that we were right to be worried about you."
"Why? I'm fine," Alfyn assured him with a wave and a smile. Everything about the gestures felt so painfully fake that Alfyn was almost convinced that he was going to be sick. Cyrus raised an eyebrow that showed he wasn't going to be buying any of that, and Alfyn let out another sigh. "What is it you two really came for? Are you just going to poke fun at me or what?"
"We're not here to make fun of you," Olberic reiterated. "After what happened with Vanessa... It seemed like a lot was on your mind. We wanted to make sure that you were alright. You're clearly struggling. I can see it in your eyes."
Of course Olberic would be able to figure something like this out. The eyes were the windows to the soul, and Olberic was no stranger to darkened souls and dealing with tragedy. Alfyn's shoulders slouched over a fraction as he shook his head. "I don't know... I guess I'm just worried about what's going to happen next," he admitted softly, though he didn't dare to say what it was that he feared so greatly. If he said it out loud, it might become real. His conversation with Therion was still hanging heavily over his shoulders, and Alfyn felt like he was going to be shoved into the ground if anything else started pushing down on his body.
"You shouldn't be afraid of becoming like her," Cyrus frowned. "You're nothing like Vanessa, Alfyn. We know how much you care for the people around her. Vanessa lost sight of her care for humanity, and that was where her greed rushed in to fill the gaps left behind."
"When I first met her, she seemed so genuine. I thought that she really did want to help people the same way that I do," Alfyn admitted softly with a shake of his head. "I thought that we were the same at first, and look at how well that turned out. She would have killed the entirety of Goldshore if she thought it would give her the chance to rob their graves. She wasn't afraid of killing the rest of us. Monsters like that... They live everywhere whether we want to admit it or not. She walked among us here in Goldshore. I trusted her. She's not like Rufus was. She's not even like Helgenish as far as I can tell. They were both monsters, but they... They were obviously monsters. Vanessa did her best to hide her true nature, and she almost got away with hurting people while smiling all the way. I don't... I don't know what to think of any of this. I want to trust people, but how can I do that when Vanessa..."
"She betrayed your trust," Cyrus finished for him, and Alfyn nodded vacantly, not sure about how he was supposed to express the depth of his fear. Cyrus thought for a long moment before shaking his head. "I suppose you never can know for sure what people are going to do."
"No... You never know what a person is thinking until they act and show the truth of their nature to the world," Olberic agreed, and the tension between his eyes told Alfyn that he had seen this situation more times than he was willing to admit openly. "Everything comes together when you least expect it to, and then... The moments of darkness are where you can truly see what a person is made of. When you fought against Vanessa, you were firm in your resolve. You fought against her with everything you had while staring into the darkness and being unaffected by it."
"Was I really unaffected though?" Alfyn challenged. "I feel like I'm one wrong step away from becomin' exactly like her. I don't want to be like that, but she... She got in my head, and I don't know how to get her out." Normally, Alfyn wouldn't be caught dead admitting weakness to others like this. He had vowed a long time ago that he wasn't going to be a burden to others, but... He was just tired. There were a thousand storms screaming in his mind, but he refused to listen to half of them, only saying what he had to. Being stubborn about it was only going to make things worse for all of them. He could see the determination in Cyrus and Olberic's eyes already to say that they wouldn't be letting him go until he admitted the truth. Alfyn could only hope that he didn't drag them down too much with his problems. That was the last thing he ever wanted to see happen.
"You're not like Vanessa," Olberic insisted, his eyes hardening along the way. "Vanessa would have killed countless people in the name of her own greed. How do you feel about hurting the people of Goldshore? Would you be able to do it? How about the people we met back in Stillsnow? Noblecourt? S'warkii?"
Alfyn stopped at that, staring at Olberic with wide eyes. He wouldn't be able to do it. No matter how much he could have hated them, he wouldn't have been able to kill them. Alfyn had endless animosity for Vanessa, but he still didn't want to kill her. He had held back because he couldn't stand the thought of taking away the most precious gift that anyone could ever receive: life itself. Everyone only got one chance, and the thought of stealing that opportunity from anyone... It wasn't his choice to make. No matter how much he despised Vanessa or Rufus, that wasn't something he could decide. He wasn't a god with the power of the law at his fingertips. The execution of evil was up to other people. He was a healer, and the idea of using that against others was too overwhelmingly awful for him to bear.
"No... I could never hurt them," Alfyn finally forced himself to say when he got a grip on himself once again. "They deserve better than what Vanessa would have done to them if she was given the chance. I... I wouldn't ever want to see people suffer if there was something I could do to help them."
"Exactly," Olberic said with a firm nod. "That's proof that you're not like her. Vanessa would have never paused to think about it the way you are now. You're not like her, not in the slightest."
Alfyn's foot instinctively started bouncing on the spot from anxiety. "I guess," he murmured. He didn't think that any words would be able to reassure him at this point. He wanted so desperately to feel better about everything that had happened, but he could tell that it wasn't going to be as simple as he would have liked. It seemed like nothing ever was anymore. He shook his head and sighed heavily. "I hope that we don't run into any other people like her along the way. I mean, we didn't think we were going to find her here, and for all we know, others that think the same way she does could come out of the shadows and surprise us when we least expect it while we're in some other town."
"And we'll deal with them the same way we handled Vanessa," Cyrus assured him. "You don't need to fear doing all of this by yourself, Alfyn. The rest of us were more than happy to help in the battle against Vanessa, and we're still happy to do what we have to in order to help you in the future as well. You truly have nothing to fear."
"I just... I don't want to hurt anyone," Alfyn admitted. "I don't even know how to describe it, but... I don't want to have to be the one to kill anybody. What Primrose does... It's her business, not mine. I don't want to get involved with her mission to get revenge against the men who killed her father because that's her choice to make, not mine. As for my own decisions... I don't want to hurt anybody the way that Vanessa did. I don't want to have to kill anybody at all. That fight could have ended so differently if we didn't get lucky... We could have had to kill her. I don't... I don't want to imagine it, but I can't seem to get it out of my head."
"I wish I could tell you that I had a certain answer as to how you were meant to deal with this," Olberic confessed. "But the fact of the matter is that it's never as easy as we would like to face the problems that cross our paths. It's always much harder than we would expect, and this is no different. I can't guarantee that you're never going to be put in a position like that... But I can tell you that you're not alone in facing it anymore."
"Precisely," Cyrus agreed with a firm nod. "No matter what happens next, the rest of us are going to be here for you. That's what we've done up to this point, and that isn't going to change no matter what comes next. We're going to find a way to push through all of this, and when we do... Everything will be alright. If we have to fight against people who are like Vanessa in the future, then we'll take that as a group. This isn't your burden to carry alone. None of us have to hold our own problems on our own now."
Alfyn nodded gently, though he wished that Cyrus was actually hearing himself. Primrose was starting to come around when it came to talking to the others, and she seemed to be doing better despite the miniature crisis she seemed to be facing down while they were in Stillsnow and Noblecourt. Therion, on the other hand, was still just as secluded as ever. No, that wasn't true; he was starting to open up, and he was upset with himself for it. Alfyn knew that Therion had to take this at his own pace if he was going to reach a meaningful conclusion, but he still wished that there was something more he could do. As it stood, it felt like Cyrus' words rang hollow even though they should have been honest, and Alfyn wanted once again to curl up in a hole and wait for everything involving Vanessa to blow over so that he could just forget about it and move on. He doubted he would ever be able to forget what she did, but the desire was still there.
"I think we should go back to the inn soon," Cyrus remarked after a few beats of silence as he glanced down to the mug. He hadn't said anything, but Alfyn could tell that Cyrus had read him like a book. Of course he had. If there was anyone who was skilled in the power of observation and deduction, it was Cyrus. The scholar had already realized that the reason Alfyn had come to the tavern at all was to drown his sorrows in the bottle of a mug of mead for the night, and he wasn't having any of it. Judging by the nod of agreement Olberic gave in response to Cyrus' words, Alfyn assumed that he had figured it out as well.
"Alright," Alfyn murmured. He could already tell that he wasn't going to be getting away with this, and part of him was grateful for it. He didn't want to bring himself to the point of ruin just to forget about the events of the day. He deserved better than that, not that he really felt like it at the moment. However, if he was still aware of his actions, that meant that he was going to remember everything, and he could already tell that was going to make sleeping a nightmare on multiple levels.
Olberic and Cyrus waited for Alfyn to drain the rest of his mug, and the apothecary set a few leaves on the counter as payment before they left. Tressa had said she would take charge of everything that the group got as thanks from Goldshore for defeating Vanessa, and Alfyn knew that was for the best. He wouldn't be able to look at the spoils they got from Vanessa without feeling sick to his stomach given where that money had come from. There was no way to find all of her victims though so that they could return the money, and so, Alfyn would simply have to ignore the nausea that came with the knowledge of everything that was happening.
On the way back to the inn, Alfyn looked at the sun as it was setting over the horizon. The sky was dyed pink and orange by the fading light, and Alfyn shook his head at the sight. He didn't know when everything had gotten so complicated, but part of him yearned for the day before. It was hard to believe that everything had happened so quickly. Just that morning, they had been in Bolderfall to drop off the ruby dragonstone. After that, they fought against Bifelgan and arrived in Goldshore before Vanessa continued to ruin everything.
When Alfyn thought about it like that, his eyes couldn't bring themselves to stay open, and Alfyn couldn't help wanting to collapse on the mattress of his bed at the inn. Maybe if he passed out from exhaustion, he wouldn't have any nightmares about Vanessa's actions that night. He had no evidence, but he hoped it was true with everything he had.
He could really use a break for once.
Wow, this chapter turned out pretty angsty.
This chapter is our nice little character development and transition as we get ready to wrap up Alfyn's chapter two. I forgot how heavy Alfyn's chapter two was, especially given the implications it holds. Everybody deserves better than what they get in this story, I swear.
The scenes in this chapter are understated, but I think they're nice bits of character development. It fleshes out Alfyn's bad habits a little bit more and shows the unhealthy side of his constant optimism given that he's so prone to lying about being fine. Ophilia talking about her hope to see Josef again also makes her encounter with Vanessa personal, and I love the dynamic she has going with Tressa. All of the characters are feeling the impact of what's happening in a way that the canon story wasn't able to accomplish, I think. I understand why that was the case, but it's still nice to be able to look at it here.
Next time around, we're going to wrap up Alfyn's chapter two and get ready for the next segment of the story: H'aanit's chapter two! Until then, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Feedback is appreciated as always. Have a nice day, everyone!
-Digital