Chapter Nineteen: Seeing Things Differently

The sun was barely up and the world was quiet. It was always quiet. If there was sound then something was happening. Thinking too much, I wasn't paying attention to my surrounding, nearly having a heart attack as the mare reared. Getting her under control, I looked at the fence, a walker gnawing on the metal. Sighing, I pulled my knife from the sheath at my thigh, stabbing it before slipping it back in place.

Making one more loop around the perimeter, I was making my way back when the mare got excitable, lifting her legs high and bobbed her head. For a second I thought that she was just anxious, only then she jerked forward before spinning. Smiling, I rubbed her neck, relaxing the reigns as I gripped her sides. Giving her a low whistle, in the next second we were flying across the fields. She raced as fast as she could, darting this way and that, letting out all the energy she had built up inside of her.

Turning her at the end of the field, I faced her so we had the longest stretch in front of us. Kicking her sides, she reared momentarily before she sprinted forward. The wind rushed past me, making sound mute in my ears and I was blissfully happy. Opening up my arms, I tilted my head back, taking it all in.

When she stopped, she was so much more relaxed, nickering softly as she shook her head. Smiling, I laid forward, wrapping my arms around her neck, telling her how good she was. Dismounting, I didn't have to hold the reigns to have her follow me. I'd spent every morning taking care of them and even more time just spending time with them. I loved the animals. If there was ever a break in the day, I was more than likely spending it at the barns.

Taking off all the tack, I put her back in the pasture, stroking the faces of the others as they came to greet me. Scratching chins and necks, I couldn't have been happier. This place truly did feel like home. Even the walkers had become a normal part of life, just something that we had to deal with every day.

"Morning, Caroline."

Looking, I smiled, stepping toward the fence. "Good morning, Rick."

Folding my arms on top of the fence in front of him, he put his hands on either side of me, both of us just looking at each other. Not realizing the girly smitten smile on my face, when I did I couldn't help but laugh, feeling my cheeks flush as I averted my eyes. He did the same and I could see a flush in his cheeks as well. Things had been so much better between us but now it felt like something else was forming and growing faster than I'd thought possible.

Laughing again, I met his eyes, "So."

"So." He repeated.

"Breakfast?" I asked. He nodded, only then his hand was against my hair, pulling a piece of hay from it. "Thank you."

"Maybe later we could go for a ride. Check the snares and such." He offered.

"I'd like that." I beamed at him.

"Do you need help with your bandages?" He asked as he pointed at my stomach.

Lifting my shirt, there was still one puncture that didn't want to close properly. Sighing as I took in the blood that was starting to come through, I couldn't help the tingle as Rick ran his thumb across it. There was a small spike of pain and I gripped his wrist, making a small noise. He shifted, taking my hand in his as he put his other against the side of my head, making me meet his eyes.

"I'm okay." I smiled at him.

"I know." He smiled back. Nodding at him, he pulled me into a hug. Sighing, I melted against him, taking in his comfort. Letting me go, he put his hands over mine as I gripped the fence. "She still in a cell?"

I nodded, "I'm going to go get her out before dinner."

"She doing okay?"

"She's still angry." I replied. "And guilt ridden. But I think that this might be a turning point for her. She's seeing and understanding that her behavior is hurting people. I think she's gonna come around."

"Good." He nodded. "That's really good."

"It is." I smiled. "I have hope for our relationship." I added and laughed.

He nodded again, "Yeah. But if she does anything like that again you know I'm gonna have to step in."

"And do what?" I asked him.

"I don't know." He replied, his eyes moving to my stomach. "But she doesn't get to hurt people without consequence."

"She's suffering the consequences, Rick." I told him softly. "I'll take care of her. Don't worry."

He smiled, "I know you will. Worry is just a natural part of it."

Smiling, I nodded, climbing the fence and dropped next to him, "I'm starving."

"Let's fix that." He replied, his hand brushing mine as we walked back up to our home. "First. Bandages." He said with a raised brow.

Putting my arm around him, he did the same, letting me go when we started to come across more people. Going to my cell, I sat down while Rick grabbed the gauze, bandages, antiseptic, and ointment.

"We're running low." He told me.

"Maybe we'll get lucky soon." I replied.

"Lean back." He told me.

Doing as I was told, he took the current bandaging off, being gentle as he pulled the gauze from the wounds. He had a very concerned focused look on his face that made me smile.

"Daryl wraps you too tight." He stated.

"He has this idea in his head that with enough pressure they'll just magically close." I replied and laughed.

"And restrict air from getting in and actually helping them."

"You do it whatever way you want." I grinned at him.

He smiled up at me, shaking his head. "I will."

His touch was warm, making my stomach flutter. He was gentle as he cleaned the wounds, put the ointment on, the gauze and then wrapped me up. I had to admit that it did feel a lot better when Rick helped. It was secure but not suffocating. I hadn't realized how tight Daryl made it until it was pointed out. Otherwise I never would have thought it was him.

"Thank you." I told him as he helped me up.

"You're welcome." He replied with his hands still on my hips.

Smiling, I took his hand, gently playing with his fingers before letting my hand fall away. Briefly fawning over Judith, talking to Beth, we went back outside to get some breakfast. I was starving and now that we had the means, I wasn't afraid or sorry to eat three meals a day. Maybe even a snack or two.

Finding Daryl already cooking, I smiled and went up to him, wrapping my arms around him from behind, pressing myself against his back. He chuckled and put his arm across mine, not saying a word. I think that was one of the things I liked most about him. He only said what he felt he had to say, otherwise he was more than happy with silence. Pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades, I moved to his side, starting to crack eggs as he fried bacon. Between the two of us, everyone who was up was getting fed.

"Morning." Carol said coming out to the grilling area.

"Morning." I smiled back. "Sleep well?"

She nodded, "You?"

"Getting better all the time." I replied. Daryl grunted and pressed a kiss into my hair. "I'm gonna eat."

Giving the utensils to Carol, I winked at Daryl, getting another grunt before he handed me a plate of food. Laughing, I pressed a kiss against his chest before grabbing another plate and went to where Rick was sitting with Maggie and Glenn. Pressing a kiss against both their heads, I set a plate in front of Rick as I sat down next to him, smiling. He smiled back and then he ran his hand along my thigh, suddenly seeming awkward about it as soon as it happened. Momentarily rubbing his back, I tried to focus more on eating then the feeling his touch had left against my skin. Looking up at Maggie, she was looking at me with a both curious and excited expression. Grinning, I just shook my head at her.

"Are we going on that run today?" Glenn asked me.

I had forgotten about it. Rick tried not to be obvious as he looked at me. "Um." I said trying to decide what to do.

"Babe, I'd really like it if you stayed here." Maggie told him. "Rick can go with her."

"Rick hasn't been big on making runs lately." He replied.

"We were talking about going for a ride today, just scout a little and check the snares." I told him. "Maybe we'll head the direction we talked about just to see."

"Okay." He nodded. "Sounds like a plan." He didn't seem phased by it. "We should discuss a few things before you go." He told Rick.

"I'm not in charge anymore, Glenn." He replied.

"I know." Glenn stated. "I'm on the council. I still just want to run a few things past you."

Rick looked at me and I smiled reassuringly. He looked at Glenn, "Yeah, okay."

As soon as they were done eating, the men walked away and Maggie was leaning toward me so closely I thought she just might kiss me.

"What?" I asked her.

"What?" She grinned. "You and Rick?"

"Nothing has happened and nothing is going to happen any time soon." I replied with a smile.

She just grinned at me, "But something is there."

Watching as Rick walked away, I admitted it, "Yeah, something is there." She just beamed at me. "Stop." I told her, feeling a blush in my cheeks. "And don't say anything."

"I won't." She smiled.

"What aren't we saying?" Sasha asked as sat down.

"Secrets?" Michonne smiled as she sat next to me.

Feeling ganged up on, I raised my brow at Maggie. "Nothing. No secrets."

"Liar." Michonne smiled.

Looking at her, I looked over my shoulder where Rick and Glenn were talking. Meeting her eyes again I raised a brow. She just looked at me for a moment before she smiled and nodded, "Good for you."

"Thank you." I replied.

"Now what am I missing?" Sasha asked with annoyance. She looked at Rick and then the rest of us. "Oh. Oh! Really?" She said leaning toward me.

I smiled at her, "Say anything more and I'm going to stab you with my fork." She laughed and nodded, handing me a piece of her bacon as a peace offering.

Helping clean up, checking up on Ray without letting her know I was there, I made my way back outside to see Hershel walking the fields. He'd been talking about farming and producing and hopefully growing and raising enough food so we wouldn't have to make runs anymore. If we worked together we could accomplish anything. I couldn't have been more for it. We needed this. We needed to survive and flourish. Maggie wanted a baby. If we could make this work then it would be the perfect home for her to create a family. Judith would always be safe. If we worked together we could do anything and anything and everything could finally be possible. No more running or hiding or killing. The walkers would be a part of our lives forever, but they were manageable. We were smarter than them. We could take them out one by one until they were gone. This place was home and we would defend it with our lives. A sense of the life we all used to have. We could have that again. I had to believe that.

"Ready?" Rick said as he appeared at my side.

Smiling, I nodded at him, "Yes, I am."

His arm momentarily found my waist, his hand against my hip before he let me go. Walking to the barn, I took care of the saddles while he put on the bridles. He was better at that than he was saddling. Something we both knew. When they were ready, we mounted and moved toward the gate. Sasha let us out, laughing as she winked at me. Nothing was happening. It was just a ride between two friends. We had purpose. We were going to walk the snares and maybe just take a little bit longer to just relax, but it wasn't like we were on a date.

"I'd hoped to take you on a better date than this." He told me with a sweet yet anxious smile.

My head jerked to him so fast my neck pained in protest. "Date?" I asked. "I literally just told myself that this was not what it was."

He met my eyes, "I guess you didn't catch on to that."

Laughing, I grinned at him, "I can't say I've been on a date in a long ass fucking time. I don't recognize what they look like anymore."

He grinned at me, "Not usually this."

"Well, we had to get Glenn to back off first."

"And settle for this."

"What did you have in mind?" I asked him.

"I was going to have Carol make us up a basket, hide it in the woods, invite you on a run and then surprise you with it." He replied.

For a moment I couldn't speak. That would have been the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. "Next time." I finally told him.

"It wouldn't be a surprise then." He smiled. "I'll have to wait till you're not expecting it anymore."

Laughing, I nodded, "I think it would be worth the wait."

"Yeah?" He smirked.

"Yeah." I smiled. "And if I'm being honest, I'm a little surprised that you'd do something like that."

"Why?" He asked, frowning now.

I shrugged, "You're just – more work than play. I just assumed that you don't do things like that."

"Can't say I do them often."

"So why me?"

He smiled, "You stopped hating me."

"So that automatically means we should date?" I asked next.

"No." He replied quickly, getting a brow raise from me. "I mean, I didn't think I wanted to until you stopped hating me. Not hating me left room for something else. Something…more."

"You never hated me." I stated.

"No, I've never hated you." He replied. "But I took in your hate and hated that you hated me. I can understand why, Linny. And I'll forever be sorry for what I did. But you smiling at me instead of glaring is…"

"Is?"

He laughed, "Is something I honestly didn't think I'd live to see. So call me crazy for wanting to do something nice for you."

"But a date?"

"Fine." He replied now sounding annoyed. "It's not a date. No dating."

Laughing lightly, I sighed and shook my head at him, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to diminish what you're trying to do. I'm just – I'm not sure – you know – that I'm there yet."

"You don't have to be." He told me softly. "I can't say I'm there yet either. It's just – it's nice – to feel something."

Smiling widely at him, I nodded, "It's very nice."

There were a few moments of awkward and nice silence before he broke it, "Where were you and Glenn gonna go?"

"There was a small residential area not far from here."

"We've been there."

"I know." I nodded. "But Glenn and I had a theory about rechecking it since it's been a while. Just because it was cleared before doesn't mean someone hasn't come in and may have already left or been killed."

He nodded, "I guess it can't hurt."

"Nope." I smiled.

Talking as we rode, we walked the usual route in the woods, gathering and resetting anything that was in the snares. Rick walked me through how to reset them, even though I was more than capable of setting them on my own. I'd been taught how at the beginning of all this. But if it made him feel like he was helping than I'd let him do it. And I couldn't deny that I did learn a few things, making me actually pay attention to him other than watching him speak. Then we were moving again, following the road to the small residential area that I'd mentioned.

Leaving the horses outside, creating a perimeter to keep them safe, Rick and I moved from house to house, finding little to nothing. My theory had been thwarted pretty quickly. It was the fifth or sixth house that we were searching before I finally found something. Behind a toilet there was a stash of ibuprofen and antibiotic ointment. Smiling, I put it all in my bag before I joined Rick in the kitchen.

Hopping onto the counter, I watched him, "Find anything?" He tossed me a peach. "Oh my god." I said and bit into it. "Mm." Rick took it from me, taking a bite before handing it back. "I love peaches."

He just smiled as he stepped in front of me, putting his hands on either side of me, "I know." Grinning, my stomach fluttered and I put my hand against his face. "Caroline." He said looking anxious.

"Rick." I smiled.

His hand found my thigh, only in the next second there was a bang on the window behind me, making me jump. Rick had me around my waist, yanking me off the counter as we looked at the walker that was outside the window. Looking at each other, we sighed, putting the bit of food in my bag as well before we left the opposite end of the house. Going outside, we made sure the coast was clear before moving back around front. We were nearly there when I heard the mare scream. Coming round the corner, several walkers were circling her. They had swarmed, flattening the line we had put around them, letting more of them approach her. She reared, attempting to kick or shove them away from her, but their boney fingers were gripping her.

Without hesitating, I rushed forward, hearing Rick call out to me. Pointing to the stallion, he went to him, getting him away from the walkers. Stabbing the walkers, thinking she was going to be okay, I watched one dig in to her neck, blood spilling around its mouth. She reared, making the walker fall forward. Her hooves came down on top of it, hearing the skull pop. Another started to bite into her flank; another was latched onto her back leg. Stabbing them as quickly as I could, I felt a hand grip mine, looking up to see a walker staring at as me it bit into her shoulder. Stabbing it, screaming, they were all dead, but they done their worst to the mare. I couldn't breathe as I watched her stagger before going to her knees, falling to the side.

"It's okay." I told her, rushing around her, stroking her face.

"Linny!" Rick said and then he was stabbing a walker that was behind me. Then his hand was against my back. "Linny."

"Damn it." I said with tears in my eyes. "It's okay. You're a good girl." I told the horse.

She let out a low nicker and then a soft groan of pain. Rick put his hand over mine against the horse's neck. Looking at him, he brushed my bangs from my forehead, pressing a kiss against my forehead. His expression was just as sad as mine was. Putting my forehead against his, I took a deep breath. Pulling my gun out, I put it against her temple.

"You should use your knife." He told me.

"No." I replied. "The sound will draw more of them. She'll give us a head start."

He nodded, "I'm sorry, Linny. I know you're very fond of her."

Laughing lightly, I met his eyes, "I love this horse. It's okay to love an animal."

He smiled, brushing his thumb against my cheek, "Yeah."

"Hold him." I said nodding toward the stallion. He stood and went to him, taking him away from us. Taking a deep breath, I sighed, leaning down so I could press a kiss against her cheek. "I'm sorry."

Putting my gun to her temple, I pulled the trigger. Sighing, stroking her neck, I let a few soft cries leave me. Then I took a deep breath before I nodded and stood, stepping toward Rick. He pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly as he gently rubbed my back. It was comforting.

"Thank you." I told him, letting him go.

He sighed, putting his hand against my cheek. "Just one more loss we have to face."

Smiling, I gently gripped his shirt, staring up at him. A growl interrupted us, ruining the moment and made us quickly mount the stallion and move away, heading back home. Holding tight to Rick's waist, he pulled out another peach and offered it to me. Taking a bite, I offered him a bite as well, sharing it until I tossed the pit into the woods.

"I always wonder why we don't come across more animals." I told him.

"I think we've seen plenty." He smirked at me.

"I mean more dogs and cats."

"We don't need any more animals." He replied.

I gripped his side, making him jerk, "You sound like my mother."

"We'd probably get along then."

Laughing, I nodded, "Yeah. Too bad I have no idea where she is."

"Minnesota, right?"

"Yeah." I said putting my chin on his shoulder. "They're probably dead by now. All of them."

"Maybe not."

"Either way, I'm not going back there to find out." I replied, pressing myself against his back.

"Good." He replied softly, making me put my chin on his shoulder again. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "I wouldn't want you to go."

Smiling, I pressed a kiss against his cheek, wrapping my arm higher against his chest. We were quiet the rest of the way, simply content with the way we were right now. Something was definitely there, making me both anxious and excited. It had been a long time since Ben and I had never really formed any feelings for Caesar. I didn't want him to die but I was never going to be with him the way I was with Ben. Being with Rick now felt different than when I was with Ben. It was different but I liked it. But I wasn't sure either of us were ready for anything. The few moments where we were close, he was always holding back. He wanted to be sure. So did I.

"Despite losing the mare, I had a nice day." Rick told me after we'd taken care of the stallion.

Smiling, I nodded at him, "I did, too."

Staring at each other, I put my hands on his arms, stepping against him. His hands found my hips before he wrapped his arms around me, his hands low and high on my back. Putting my hand against his face, I smiled, slowly bringing my face to his. At the last moment, I stopped, sighing as I leaned away from him.

"I'm sorry." I told him.

"Don't be." He replied. "We've got time."

Laughing lightly, I nodded at him, "Yes, we do."

"Linny!" Daryl's voice drifted to us.

Rick sighed and looked at him before meeting my eyes again, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I told him, fixing the collar of his shirt.

He took my hand. "You and Daryl," he started, "do you – or does he –?"

Smiling, I shook my head, "No, Rick. He's become one of my best friends, but there's nothing else going on there."

"You two spend a lot of time together. You're in each other's cells. Go on runs together. Nights outside…" He said and trailed off.

Taking his hands, I ran my thumbs across the tops of them, "As friends. He's like a human security blanket." He nodded at me, clearly not reassured. "And the thing about security blankets is that eventually you don't need them anymore." I added. "Or you outgrow one and find one that you need more."

He smiled, his hand finding my face again. "Alright."

My stomach did a flip as I spoke honestly to him, "I want to kiss you, Rick. But I'm just not ready."

"I don't think I am either." He replied. "I just know that whatever is between us is something that I want to explore."

I couldn't help but laugh a little, "That's a little cheesy."

"I can be cheesy." He smirked at me.

Sighing, beaming at him, I nodded, "I want to explore it, too. Just…slowly."

He grinned at me, "I like slow."

"Where the hell you two been?" Daryl asked.

"Scouting."

"We're a horse short." He replied.

Sighing, I nodded, "We ran into a little trouble."

"Damn." He replied, hugging me tightly. "I know how much they mean to you."

"Thank you." I said hugging him tightly.

"Drink?" He said.

Laughing, I ran my hand along Rick's chest as Daryl led me away from him, his arm across my shoulders. "Trying to get me drunk?"

"Nah." He replied. "Even if I was it don't mean anything."

Turning, I pointed at Rick. He grinned and nodded at me, putting his hands on his hips. Waving, I wrapped my arm around Daryl as we walked back into the prison.

"Before that drink I have to go get Ray." I told him. He stopped and looked at me, crossing his arms. "You let her out." I stated.

"Linny!" Ray called and then her arms were around my neck.

"Ray." I said a little on the bland side, my eyes still on Daryl.

"Don't be mad at him." She said letting me go. "I fed him a sob story that he believed without even thinking about it." She explained, beaming at me.

"Really?" I frowned at Daryl. "She told you a story and you just assumed that it was true?"

He looked guilty, "It was a damn good story."

"See?" She grinned.

I raised a brow at her, lifting my shirt. She stopped smiling. "Stop manipulating people." I told her. She nodded. "Have we learned our lesson?"

"Yes." She replied. "I need to work on my anger and find healthy ways of letting it out."

Smiling, I nodded, "Good girl. See? You do have a brain." She raised a brow but smirked at me. She reminded me very much of me, making me laugh at her. "Hungry?"

"Starving." She said and was pulling on me.

Teenagers.

Getting something to eat, the three of us sat and talked until Maggie and Glenn appeared. Then Michonne. Sasha and Tyreese. Our whole little family. All but Rick, Carl and Judith. But I wasn't disappointed long as arms wrapped around my neck and Carl scooted in next to me. Ray looked annoyed but she didn't say anything as I raised a brow. She was going to be fine.

After dinner, I made the kids clean up, mediating until it was done. Ray swiftly returned to her cell in Cell Block D. She would want her things after three days of being without. Carl went to read comics and everyone else dispersed to do whatever it was that they did, leaving Daryl and me alone.

"Wanna do a perimeter run?" I asked him.

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Daryl." Carol called.

"Every time." I smiled up at him.

"I'll be back in a few." Daryl called over to her.

"Alright." She replied, but her tone said the opposite.

Gripping his hand, I pulled him with me, "Come on. Just because she calls, it does not mean you have to listen."

"I know." He said but glanced over his shoulder. "What do you think she needs?"

"I have no idea." I stated. Stopping I looked up at him. "Daryl? Do you want to go?"

"Nah." He said. "She'll be fine."

I wrapped my arm around him, "You sure?" He looked back where she was. I sighed. "Go, Daryl. I can handle it."

"Nah." He said again and we started to walk again. "If it was serious she'd have sounded more annoyed."

"She just doesn't like the fact that you're with me." I grinned up at him.

"True enough." He replied.

Walking the grounds, we talked about whatever came to mind, telling him about my day and asked about his. Mine was easily more exciting, but he was busy doing his own thing. It was just nice that he came back in the same day. There were streaks of time where he would be gone for days. I hated it. We all did. But that was when he brought in the most people and people were important. Though he was only after one person and he had yet to be found.

When night had fallen, I found myself in Carl's cell, listening as he read. It was nice and I had to admit that it lulled me to sleep and I really enjoyed sleeping. I'd done so little of it since the world fell apart that having the opportunity now was priceless. I woke to silence, Carl having fallen asleep. Crawling over him, I got up, covered him, and then headed to mine. Pausing at Rick, I pulled the sheet back, seeing both him and Judith sleeping. He looked so peaceful and I almost let myself in, wanting to get a closer look. Only then I silently laughed at myself, stepping in just far enough to rub Judith's back, and then left to go to mine.

Yeah, there was definitely something there.