Chapter Twenty-one: Panic
Waking to Daryl leaving, I sat up, gently gripping the base of his vest as he left, feeling his fingers against me. Rolling my neck, feeling a blissful crack, I stood up and rolled my shoulders, stretching before stepping out of my cell. Rick was making Judith breakfast and I smiled as I walked up to them.
"Morning, sweet pea." I beamed as I took her from her father. "You are looking scrumptious this morning." I told her and nibbled at her neck, making her shriek.
Rick chuckled and grinned at me, handing me her bottle. Grinning back, I nestled her in the crook of my arm, offering it to her. She gripped it with one hand while the other gripped mine, cooing as she drank. She was the cutest damn thing in the world. Looking at Rick, he put his hand against my back, leaning in and pressed a kiss against his daughter's cheek. Then he walked to Carl's cell.
"Carl. Carl. Come on." He said softly to him.
"Morning, Linny." Beth said as she stepped up to me.
"Morning, Beth." I smiled. "Ready for another fun filled day of babysitting?"
She smiled at me, "I like taking care of her."
"Good." I said, meaning it. "And it is much appreciated." I added, smiling at Judith before handing her over.
"Are you ready for another fun filled day in the fields?" Beth smirked.
"I am." I told her. "I like taking care of the animals. I like making sure we have food to eat."
"Good." She smiled.
Looking at Rick, I put my hand on his shoulder before moving from the prison. Michonne was already with the horses, tacking up the chestnut mare. Jogging down to her, I ran my hands along the horse's neck before looking at her.
"Stay, Michonne." I told her. "We need you here."
"No, you don't." She smiled. "You're doing fine. Everyone is fine." Then her smile fell, adding, "And you know why I'm going out there."
"I do." I nodded, taking the horse's reins as we walked toward the fence. "I just miss my friend."
She smiled, putting her arm around my neck, hugging me tightly, "I miss mine, too. I'll be back as soon as I can."
"Good." Rick said as he stepped up to us. "Be careful out there."
"Always am." She smiled as Carl stepped up to her. "Any requests? Books? Comics? Some stale M&Ms?"
"You're the one that likes stale M&Ms." Carl stated.
Michonne grinned, "Then I'll definitely be looking for some. I'll look for some stuff you like, too." She said before growing serious. "Why don't you wear your hat anymore?"
"It's not a farming hat." He smiled. "See you soon?"
She nodded, "Pretty soon."
Rick and Carl moved toward the compost pile. It was time to feed the pigs. Sighing, I watched Michonne mount up; making sure her foot was firmly in the stirrup. Looking up at her, I forced a smile.
"Make soon sooner than usual." I stated.
She smiled, "You'll be fine without me."
"Oh, I know." I smirked up at her. "I'm more worried about you being out there alone."
"You can always come with me." She countered.
I looked over my shoulder, "I could."
She laughed lightly, "But you can't."
"Responsibilities and all."
"Caroline." She said shaking her head. "I think you may have finally found your place."
"My home." I grinned up at her. "It could be yours too if you just stuck around for a while."
She nodded, "It is home. But I can't stop. Not until I find him."
"I understand." I told her. "So get going so you can come home."
She nodded, moving through the gate as I opened them up for her. As soon as she was headed down the road, I turned and walked toward Rick and Carl. Pausing, I looked at the fences. The walkers were pushing against them, making them start to bend. It was only a matter of time before they started to give. We needed to get it under control.
"Linny!" Carl called. "You coming?"
"Yeah!" I called before going to them, grabbing the already full compost bucket, walking back toward the pigs.
"You okay?" Rick asked as he and Carl came with the second.
"Yeah." I told him. "I just wish she'd stay."
He nodded, looking in the direction she'd gone, "Me, too."
Creaking from the fences made us all look at them, only now I noticed something else. Stepping closer, I cocked my head as I took in the trails of blood that were coming from the walker's eyes.
"I see it, too." Rick said softly as he stepped next to me.
I shook my head, "Something doesn't feel right about that."
His fingers found mine, "Come on."
"They only took out one cluster yesterday." Carl stated. "Probably gonna need more people today. Maybe we could help."
"I got other plans involving dirt and cucumbers and keeping people fed."
"Well, if you don't want to, maybe I could." Carl said softly. "Could I?" He asked. "Linny could come with me."
Rick looked at me before his son, "We have other plans. That's what I should have said."
Rick dumped the second bucket of compost into the pig feeder. They were already coming in to eat. "Come on in. There we go."
"Dad…?" Carl said gently. "I'm sorry. I've been trying."
"Yeah, I know. And I'm proud."
"Dad, when can I have my gun back?"
"Carl." I frowned.
Rick didn't answer, he simply switched the subject. "Worms will give them some extra protein."
About to put in my two sense, there was the sound of gunfire, making me spin toward the prison before starting to sprint. Leaping over the fence, Rick and Carl were right behind me, rushing up into the main yard.
"Help! Help!" Lizzie yelled.
Mika was right behind her, "Please, come quick!"
"Cell block?" Maggie yelled from the tower.
"I don't know!" He yelled back up to her. Then he looked at Carl, "Get in the tower with Maggie. Don't argue, go."
"Rick!" I yelled as we ran to the gate.
Glenn ran into sight, yelling as he passed us, "Walkers in D!"
"No." I said and was running again.
"What about C?" Rick yelled from behind me.
Rushing to Cell Block D, I tore a handgun out of a woman's trembling hands, turning toward the infected. "Ray!" I screamed.
"Caroline!" I heard her yell.
Looking up, I moved for the stairs only to have my ankle grabbed. The walker pulled on me, making me skid down the stairs. There was pain but it lasted only a second as I shot it in the head. Swiftly getting back onto my feet, I moved up the stairs, rushing to Ray's cell, seeing her door shut. A small wave of relief hit me, though a walker was standing in front of it, reaching through the bars. Stopping, raising my gun, I shot him through his head, rushing forward.
"Ray." I said looking at her cowering in the corner. "Move, Ray!" I said throwing the door open.
She lurched forward, gripping my arm. At the same moment, a walker appeared, taking us both to the ground, the gun being knocked from my hand. My hand was against the woman's neck, holding her at bay as her fingers gripped me. Then a shot rang and she fell away. Ray had her back pressed against the bars of a cell, the gun shaking in her hands a she looked at me with wide eyes.
Nodding, I took the weapon from her, getting to my feet before pulling her to hers. She gripped me tight as I looked over the edge, seeing the chaos below. Seeing a walker moving behind Rick, I shot it, getting him to look up at me. Nodding, I started to shoot any walker in sight, knowing each person's name as I shot them down. These were members of our family. But I watched as the bullets passed through their heads. Blood spilling. Bodies falling. And for as horrible as it was, my hands remained steady, my eyes clear, feeling like the monster I thought I'd put to rest.
When they all lay dead, quietness filling the cell block for just a moment before the cries started. Loved ones were lost. Looking at Ray, she gripped my arm tightly as we moved toward the stairs. Then Rick was in front of me, taking my head in his hands.
"You okay?" He asked urgently.
I nodded, gripping his hands, "Yeah. Are you?"
He nodded, pulling me against him. Feeling the first wave of emotion hit me, I gripped him tightly. Taking slow deep breaths, I tried not to cry. He let me go, his hand moving to Ray, looking at her with a silent question. She smiled and nodded at him.
"Go to my cell, Ray." I told her. "I'll be there soon."
"Can't I stay with you?" She asked me.
"No." I replied matter-of-factly. "Go to my cell."
"I should help with the others." She stated. Giving her a look, she nodded at me. "Okay. Please don't be too long."
"I won't." I smiled, running my hand down her hair before I watched her leave. Then I looked at Rick, "What the hell happened?"
"Something happened." Daryl told me. "But it wasn't a breach. It was something from the inside."
Nodding, I followed as we stepped up to a dead walker. Sighing, Rick bent down and looked him over. Other than the shot to the head that killed him, he was unscathed.
"No bites. No wounds. I think he just died." He told us.
Then Caleb was next to him, "Horribly, too. Pleurisy aspiration."
"That's not good." I said looking at Hershel who had arrived as well.
"Choked to death on his own blood." He stated. "Caused those trails down his face."
"I've seen them before on a walker outside the fences." Rick stated.
"I can confirm that." I replied, crossing my arms.
"I saw them on Patrick too." Daryl stated.
Caleb elaborated as to what was going on, "They're from the internal lung pressure building up – like if you shake a soda can and pop the top. Only imagine your eyes, ears, nose, and throat are the top."
Feeling a hand against my shoulder, I looked up at Bob, "It's a sickness from the walkers?"
"No, these things happened before they were around. Could be pneumococcal. Most likely an aggressive flu strain." Caleb replied.
"In other words: we're screwed." I frowned.
"Someone locked him in just in time." Hershel stated.
"No, man." Daryl corrected. "Charlie used to sleepwalk. Locked himself in. Hell, he was just eating barbecue yesterday. How could somebody die in a day just from a cold?"
"Linny and I had a sick pig, it died quick. We also saw a sick boar in the woods."
"Pigs and birds." Hershel nodded. "That's how these things spread in the past. We need to do something about those hogs."
Caleb tried to be optimistic, "Maybe we got lucky. Maybe these two cases are it."
"Doubtful." I said looking at Daryl.
Bob seemed to feel the same, "Haven't seen anybody be lucky in a long time. Bugs like to run through close quarters. Doesn't get any closer than this."
"All of us in here, we've all been exposed." Hershel stated as he looked from person to person.
Nodding, I sighed, "Now we wait to see who's immune or not."
Looking at Rick, I was already moving. I needed to get to the kids. I needed to get to Ray. She was in here. She was exposed. I didn't break through that thick skull of hers just to have her get sick and die on me. Not like this.
Leaving the cell block, I saw Maggie, Michonne, and Carl. "Oh, thank god." I said rushing forward. Carl met me halfway. I knew I shouldn't touch him but I couldn't stop myself. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." He nodded. "Dad." He said and rushed toward his father. Rick tried to stop him but Carl already had his arms around his waist. "Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't see you come out."
"It's okay. I'm here. I'm fine. But back away." Rick told him.
"Are you okay?" I asked Michonne.
She nodded, "Yeah."
"Maggie." I said gripping her arm.
She smiled at me, "I'm good."
Nodding, I took a breath, letting it out slowly. "Good. I need to check on Ray."
"I had to use one of the guns by the gate. I swear I didn't want to." Carl told his father, making me turn to him.
"I was coming back. I fell. They came out and helped me." Michonne defended him.
"Are you all right?" Rick asked, getting a nod in response.
"What happened in there?" Maggie asked.
"Patrick got sick last night. It's some kind of flu. It moves fast. We think he died and attacked the cell block." He said and paused, looking at Carl. "Look, I know he was your friend and I'm sorry. He was a good kid. We lost a lot of good people." Then he was looking at Maggie again. "Glenn and your dad are okay, but they were in there. You shouldn't get too close to anyone that might have been exposed, at least for a little while. Carl. All of you."
"I need to check on Ray." I repeated and moved toward the cell block.
"Linny." Rick said but I didn't stop. "Linny!" He said following me.
"No, Rick." I shot at him. "I need to check on my kid."
"Caroline." He repeated.
I spun, making him stop abruptly. "She was exposed too, Rick. I sent her to my cell. I need to check on her and get her out of there." He nodded at me. "Judith is in there." I added softly. "I won't touch her. Or anyone. But I need to go see Ray." He nodded again with a furrow in his brows. I sighed and started to play with my fingers. "What's the plan?"
"Maybe we're all okay." He replied.
Laughing, I nodded before turning away, jogging back toward my home. Rushing inside, all eyes were on me but I didn't say or look at them. Rushing to my cell, Ray was standing there, pacing. As soon as she saw me, her arms were around me and she started to sob into my shoulder.
"It's okay, Ray." I told her. "Come on."
"To where?" She cried.
"We've been exposed." I stated. "We need to leave this cell block."
Her eyes grew wide, "Judith."
I nodded, "Let's go."
Taking her back outside, I sat her at a picnic table, sitting across from her. Rubbing my hands together, I realized that they were bloody. My shirt was bloody. I could feel my skin sticking from the blood that was dried against it. Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair, my mind repeating what happened over and over and over again.
"Are you okay?" Ray asked me.
Looking at her, I nodded, "I'm fine. I just thought we were over things like this happening."
She nodded, "Thank you for saving my life."
"Hey." I smiled at her. "For all intents and purposes, you're my kid. I'll always come for you, Ray."
She smiled, "I know. But I wanted to say it anyway."
Reaching across the table, I put my hand against the side of her head, "We're gonna be okay."
She covered it with hers, "I know."
Taking a slow deep breath, I looked at her, standing, "Okay. I'm going to go help clear D out. Stay here and wait for me. As soon as I know what our next move is I'll come for you."
She stood quickly, "Let me help."
"No." I frowned. "Hell no, Ray."
"I've already been exposed. I can help, Linny."
Looking at her for a long moment, I sighed and nodded, opening my arm to her. She rushed to me, holding tight as we moved back toward the cell block. Rick gave me an odd look when he saw us but he didn't have a say when it came to her. Or to me. I made the decisions. For me and for her. I would never put her in harm's way and I wouldn't have let her be there if I thought it would make a difference by keeping her out. She was right. She'd been exposed. Whatever was going on, it was already on her. On all of us. If she wanted to help, who was I to deny her.
When all the bodies had been moved, being piled up, ready to be buried, I sat on the stairs, breathing hard. I forgot how much work it was to move bodies. Finally leaving the cell block, I took a deep breath of the fresh air, looking out at the field. Seeing Daryl digging alone, I looked at Ray, nudging her as I made my way out to him.
"You're exhausted." Ray told me softly.
"There is still work that needs to be done."
"You need to rest." She went on.
"No, I don't. I need to help. I need to – I need to do something – anything – other than rest." I replied meeting her eyes. "I'm not a sit-on-the-sidelines type, Ray. I act. I do. I can't just do nothing. I can't…"
"I know." She said. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to overexert yourself. Especially if there is a chance that you'll get sick."
"I'm fine." I shot at her. "Jesus, Ray. If I thought I was infected and getting sick, I wouldn't be out here right now."
"I know." She repeated. "I'm sorry."
Sighing, I took her hand, "I'm not mad, Ray. I'm just tired of losing people. I'm tired of moving bodies and digging graves. You're right. I'm just…tired."
She offered a small smile, "Than I'll do what I can to help."
"I know you will." I smiled at her.
She followed me as we moved toward Daryl. He was just like me. He did things. He acted. He didn't just sit and wait or watch. He made things happen. If any of us truly needed a rest, it was him. He did more than anyone and didn't say a word. He wasn't looking for a pat on the back or recognition for the things he did. He was just him. I loved him. He was amazing.
"Linny." Daryl said as we stepped up to him.
"Daryl." I said and dropped into the hole he was in, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He hugged me tightly, "You all right?"
"Sure." I replied. He nodded at me. "What's been decided?"
"One of the blocks is gonna be used as isolation."
"Death row." I said raising a brow. "Fitting."
He nodded again, "We'll isolate anyone who is showing symptoms."
I nodded, "Smart."
"Move all the young and old to the professional building to keep them as far from it as we can." He went on.
"Good." I told him with furrowed brows.
"Linny." He said with concern.
Getting out, I grabbed a shovel and started another hole. "I'm fine, Daryl."
"All right." He nodded as we started to dig.
Ray took up another shovel, starting yet another hole. We needed to bury our dead. We needed to give them peace. Burning was easier, but that's why we buried. We felt the pain. We put in the effort. Their deaths were not in vain. They had to mean something. The more I thought about it the more it hurt. People had died. A lot of good people. Children. They died because of something we might have been able to control. I knew Violet was sick. I knew there was a chance that she could spread something to everyone else. I didn't want to jump to conclusions and kill her prematurely and to waste all that meat. But now there was a chance that others were infected and this could happen all over again. Tears filled my eyes and I started to cry as I dug. No one said anything. They just let me get it out. And I did. My tears mixed with the dirt and I could feel the tracks they were leaving down my cheeks. I dug and I grieved. They deserved better than this. Only there was no better. This was the world. We had built a good life and they had lived it. They didn't deserve to go out like this but they had been given everything they could possibly need. Nodding to myself, it helped, it made it better. They had had a good life. Now we had to worry about everyone else.
"Please, God." I whispered. "Please, oh please, oh please."
"Caroline." Daryl said sadly.
"They're gonna to be all right." I nodded at him, sniffling as tears continued to fall. "Everyone is going to be okay. This is the worst of it. Nothing bad is going to happen." He nodded at me but his expression was telling. "What is it?" I asked him. He just looked at me. "Please, Daryl."
"Karen and David are sick. They've been put in cells until we can see how bad it is." He told me.
Taking a shuddering breath, I nodded at him, answering with mostly air, "Okay."
Getting out of the shallow grave, I felt like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs. Repeating 'okay' over and over again as I walked toward the fence lined with walkers. I didn't even register Rick coming toward me until I'd hit his shoulder, meeting his eyes before I kept moving. Then a hand slipped into mine, making me look next to me, seeing Ray smiling at me. Nodding, I repeated 'okay' again, squeezing her hand tightly as we kept walking.
Letting her hand go, I picked up a cane that's end had been pointed, starting to stab the walkers in the head. One after the other, over and over and over again. Others were there trying to keep the walkers at bay. Stabbing them, I could hear a scream in the distance, only then I was spun, realizing that the sound was coming from me.
"Caroline." Maggie said with a worried expression.
"I'm sorry." I told her, tossing the cane to the ground and started to walk away from her.
"Hey." She said and gripped my wrist. "I don't think so." Meeting her eyes a tear slid down my cheek. "Talk to me."
"Maggie, I –" I started, but before I could say anything more, the fence gave a loud creak and we looked up at it, seeing it start to cave. "Jesus."
Maggie looked at me before the men, sprinting toward them, "Rick! Daryl!"
Picking up the cane again, I stabbed them as quickly as possible, convincing myself that if we killed just enough than we could save the fence.
"The noise drew 'em out and now this part's starting to give." Maggie told Rick as he appeared.
Looking at him, Glenn and Sasha were still stabbing them, Tyreese as well. Rick picked up another cane and started to stab them, Daryl quickly joining. Rick's eyes met mine and for a second I thought I was going to cry again. Nodding at him, I kept stabbing.
"This isn't working!" I yelled as I kept going.
"Get back!" Rick said as the fence bowed in.
"Damn it." I said and gripped Ray's arm. Looking at Rick, he looked at me for a long moment. "You know what to do."
He nodded, "Daryl, get the truck."
I jerked a little as Daryl gripped my arm as he ran by. Momentarily putting my hand against Rick's neck, he nodded and started to run. Continuing to stab, we could hear the truck, seeing it come round the fence. It was only a matter of seconds before there was the sound of a pig squealing. The tears started again and I screamed, my hatred for walkers coming out. They were to blame for everything. They were to blame for every bad thing that had happened to me. I had been content with my life. It had been what I had chosen. Then they happened.
The trick with the pigs worked and soon they had either wandered off to chase pigs or were lying dead against the fence. Dropping to my knees, I looked at them, feeling disgusting. Looking down, I saw rat corpses. It looked like they had been gnawed on. Heads here missing. Looking up at Sasha, she simply nodded at me. Shaking my head, I stood and started to walk away from them. How could things have gone from so perfect to shit overnight? How were we going to bounce back from this?
Going to the pigpen, it all had to come down. Whatever Violet had was in the soil and on this wood. It all had to come down and it all had to be burned. Violently taring the pallets down, I started a pile. Before long, Rick appeared. He didn't say a word, he simply started to help me. Piece after piece we made a pile. Both of us silent and brooding. Though I couldn't help my expression softening when both Carl and Ray stepped up to us.
"Not this time." Rick told them.
"Not another step." I added.
"Think the pigs made them sick?" Carl asked.
Rick looked at me before replying, "Or we made the pigs sick. I think we should stay away from Judy a while. Just in case."
"Okay." He replied.
Looking at Ray, she nodded, making me smile at her.
"I don't like it, but –"
"We have to protect her."
"Yes, we do."
"We have to protect everyone." I added softly.
There was a pause before Carl broke it, "Hey, Dad."
"Yeah?"
"Carol's been teaching the kids…how to use weapons. How to kill. Their parents don't know and she doesn't want you to know. I think you should let her. I know you're gonna say that it's not up to you. But it can be."
"She's what?" I frowned.
"You know it's the right thing to do." Ray stated. "Especially after what just happened. It's the right thing to do."
Sighing, I nodded at her, watching as Rick doused the wood in gasoline.
"Dad?"
"Thank you for telling me."
"Yeah."
Looking at Rick, I nodded at him, getting one in return. He looked at his son, "I won't stop her. I won't say anything."
He lit the pile, watching as it went up in flames.
"Carl?" Rick said and his son stepped up to him.
He handed Carl his gun. It was time. I felt my throat clench as I watched Rick put his gun belt on, checking the chamber before putting it in its place. Frowning, he handed me mine as well. For a long moment I just looked at it, frowning up at him. He nodded, his hand steady as he lifted it just a little higher. Sighing, I took it, putting it in the back of my pants. He nodded at me.
"We're covered in blood." He stated. I nodded at him. "We should burn our shirts."
Unable to hide a smirk, I looked at him, "You want me to take my shirt off?"
He smirked, his cheeks flushing, "Yeah."
Laughing, lightly at first, it got harder and harder. He joined in with me. The awkwardness faded and I nodded at him. Pulling my shirt over my head, I tossed it into the fire. There was a slight release that came with it. Despite knowing that Karen was sick, I felt a little better by simply burning a shirt.
Doing a double-take, Rick was staring at me, "Rick. Your shirt." He blinked repeatedly before nodding, taking off his shirt and tossed it into the fire. "Good boy."
He just smirked at me. Sighing, I stepped closer to him. He opened his arm to me, letting me wrap my arms around him. Pressing myself against his chest, I shut my eyes, hearing his heart beating beneath my ear. The heat of the fire kept me warm, as well as Rick's chest. Taking a deep breath, I was going to say something to comfort him, knowing that this day sucked for him as much as it had for me. Only when I went to talk, all that came out was a string of coughs. Leaning away from him, I met his eyes, my stomach turning as another coughing fit hit me.
"Damn it." I said and stepped away from him.
"Linny." Rick said moving toward me.
"No!" I unintentionally yelled. "No, Rick." I said more calmly. "I have it."
He rushed forward, gripping my arms, "And I've already been exposed."
"You don't need any more exposure." I frowned at him, my hands against his chest.
"Linny." He said sadly, putting his hand against my face.
Shaking my head, I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Letting him go just as quickly, I wiped the tears from my cheeks. "You need to take care of Ray." I told him. "Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."
"Caroline." He said taking my face in his hands. "You're going to be okay."
"People are dying, Rick." I stated. "It's fast-acting. I don't think the odds are in our favor."
"We'll figure it out." He told me with certainty.
"How, Rick?" I asked him. "How are we going to figure this out?"
He nodded, stepping closer to me, a smirk crossing his face, "Let's start by getting you a shirt."
Laughing, I nodded, "Okay."
"Okay." He said and pulled me into him again.
Thank you for the follows, favorites, and reviews! They definitely make me feel awesome and that this story is being enjoyed. There is so much left to tell and hopefully a few surprises that you won't see coming. If anything it'll be interesting! Lol. Keep it up and I can't wait to see what you all think as it moves forward!