Beautiful Disaster

by My Writing Is This

The dead were walking and surviving was imperative. Caroline had hit the ground running. She tried to never look back. She was alone for too long. Learning to live and love again wasn't easy. People still mattered. Many would come in and out of her life and not all was as it seemed. She had to learn to be a person again and to find her place. And the one she was meant to be with.

27. Escape and Survive

Chapter Twenty- seven: Escape and Survive

Kneeling on the ground, I was attempting to pull nails from the boards in the floor. My fingers were bloody. My nails split as I continuously picked at the wood around them, trying to loosen them enough to pull them free. We all were doing our best to come up with a weapon. We had no resources, needing to make the most out of what we did have and he basically had nothing.

The nails were put through belts, the leather being wrapped around hands, ready to stab and slash at anything in our paths. The buckles were broken and put between fingers – another claw – with shoelaces being wrapped around hands, ready to strangle.

It wasn't much, but it would do. It had to. We were stuck in here with no idea what was happening on the outside. There was screaming, yelling, crying, but we had no idea why. What were these people doing to each other? Why were we herded like cattle and left in here? I could only think the worst. Emotion was starting to build up as I frantically picked at the nails in front of me.

"Mom." Carl said softly, kneeling in front of me. My head shot up at him. "Linny."

Sighing, I nodded at him, reaching my hand up but stopped when I saw the blood. Frowning, he took my hand and pressed it against his face. Smiling, I pulled him to me, pressing my forehead to his.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to him.

"Don't be." He told me. "We're gonna be okay."

"I'm not so sure this time, Carl."

"We will." He told me. "You're the one who always says that."

Laughing lightly, I nodded at him, "Yeah, I know."

"So tell me now." He told me, fear in his voice. "Tell me now, Mom."

Meeting his eyes, I took a deep breath, letting determination fill me, "Carl, sweetie, we are going to be fine. We always are. We are going to figure it out and we will be alive and together at the end. We are going to be okay."

He smiled and nodded, "Thank you."

Laughing lightly again, I pulled him into my arms, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"They seemed nice enough, but I was ready to go." Abraham told us. "We just here, but, damn, it was time to go. When I told them about DC, a wink and a nod from the head asshole in charge, they pulled their guns and it was right back to our regularly scheduled shitstorm."

Looking at him, I nodded at Carl before starting to pick at the nails again. Carl started to help me.

"Before they put you in here, you didn't see Tyreese?" Sasha asked.

Michonne looked at her sadly, "No."

"Good." She replied.

"Black car with a white cross painted on it. I tried to follow it. I tried." Daryl told Maggie.

Stopping, I looked up at her. She simply smiled at him, "But she's alive?"

"She's alive."

Looking at Rick, he had already been looking at me. He nodded and continued to saw off a piece of wood with the zipper he had taken from his jacket. Getting up, I moved to him, running my hand down his hair before kneeling next to him. He looked at me, smirking. Wrapping my arm around him, I wanted to say something, but before I could, there was talking outside.

"What are you doing?" A man asked.

"Everybody shut up. Shut up!" A second man replied.

Daryl was looking out the crack in the door, "All right, got four of them pricks coming our way."

Rick was on his feet, me next to him, both of us moving into position. "Y'all know what to do. Go for their eyes first. Then their throats."

"Put your backs to the walls on either end of the car now!" A man yelled.

Taking a deep breath, I made sure Carl was behind me, meeting Rick's eyes as we prepared to fight our way out. But instead of the door to the car opening, a hatch above us opened and a canister dropped inside with us.

"Move!" Abraham yelled.

Then there was a bright flash and smoke billowed out of the canister. As soon as the smoke hit my lungs, coughing took me over. I could hear the doors open but the smoke was too thick, everything stinging as I attempted to breathe. I knew Rick was next to me. He had been with me. Only then he was pulled away, yelling filling the car until the door was slammed shut again. The smoke started to clear and I frantically started to look for Rick.

"Rick? Rick!" I yelled.

"Glenn!" Maggie yelled.

"Bob!" Sasha screamed.

"Daryl!" I yelled.

When I could finally see everyone, the four of them were the only ones not here. Both panic and anger started to fill me. Getting up, I turned and pulled Carl to his feet, taking his head in my hands.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Good." I said and turned to the door. "When I get out of here I swear to God every one of them is going to die."

Maggie appeared at my side, meeting my eyes with a hard look. Nodding at her, we all kept our weapons ready and waited for something to happen.

"What do you think is happening out there?" Michonne asked me softly.

I was holding my ground right in front of the door. "I don't know. It doesn't matter right now. What matters is getting the hell out of here."

"He'll be okay." She told me softly. I met her eyes. She smiled at me, "He always is."

It was meant to help, but it only made panic start to fill me. Just because he had been lucky up until now didn't mean that he would remain lucky. Luck ran out. It was just a matter of time. If that was now I wanted to be with him. I couldn't imagine leaving this car and not finding him alive. There's wasn't time to dwell, as gunshots were heard. Shot after shot. Then there was an explosion.

"What the hell is going on?" Abraham said, standing at the door next to me.

"Something hit them." Michonne replied.

Sasha looked hopeful, "Maybe our people got free."

"Excuse me." Eugene said moving to the door.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rosita asked.

He looked up at her, "I might be able to use this shell to compromise the door. From the sound of things, there may not be anybody left to open it."

Tara stepped forward, "Eugene, I'm sorry, but shut up."

"Okay."

"Hey. My dad's gonna be back. They all are." Carl told us.

"He's right." I added. "Rick would never leave us in here."

"They will be back." Maggie repeated. "And we need to get ready to fight our way out with them when they do."

Smiling at her, she smiled back, looking down at Hershel's watch. She stared at it for a long moment before she used the chain to start sawing through the wood of a post against the side of the car. Looking at Michonne, she was keeping watch through the crack in the door. I was about to turn away when there was growling and the dead stuck their fingers through it.

Now more than ever we needed a way to protect ourselves. We would be fighting the dead along with the living. I think I preferred fighting the dead. Moving back to where I had been, I was once again on my knees, picking at the nails.

"Stop." Carl told me.

"We need to be ready."

"You won't be able to hold a weapon if you don't stop."

Looking up at him, I nodded, sitting back on my heels. "He'll be okay, Carl. We all will. We're fighters. We're survivors."

"I know." He nodded, taking my hand.

Squeezing it tightly, I smiled at him.

"What's the cure, Eugene?" Sasha asked, making all eyes turn to them.

"It's classified."

Michonne frowned at him, "We don't know what's gonna happen."

"You leave him be." Abraham shot at her.

"We need to keep working." Maggie told them.

"She's right. We need to be ready when Rick and the others come for us." I added, now standing at her side.

"Yeah, but it's time to hear it." Sasha replied. "'Cause we don't know what's coming next."

"What's next is we get out of this." Tara stated.

"All the more reason to keep getting ready." I told them with a hard tone.

"Even if I told you all, even if I provided step-by-step instructions complete with illustrations and a well-composed FAQ and I went red-ring…the cure would still die with me." Eugene rambled off.

"I'm not gonna let that happen." Abraham stated.

"The best-case scenario, we step out into a hellstorm of bullets, fire, and walkers. I'm not fleet of foot. I sure as hell can't take a dead one down with sharp buttons and hella confidence." Eugene went on.

"Yeah, but we can and we will." Michonne told him.

"You don't owe us anything. Not yet. But we just want to hear it." Sasha said to him, emotion in her voice.

Rosita looked at Eugene, "You don't have to."

Eugene looked at her before starting to talk. He was high and mighty. He was smart but weak. He annoyed the hell out of me.

"I was part of a 10-person team at the Human Genome Project to weaponize diseases to fight weaponized diseases. Pathogenic microorganisms with pathogenic microorganisms. Fire with fire. Interdepartmental drinks were had, relationships made, information shared." He said and paused. He had all of our attention. "I am keenly aware of all the details behind fail-safe delivery systems to kill every living person on this planet. I believe with a little tweaking on the terminals in DC, we can flip the script. Take out every last head one of them. Fire with fire." Abraham nodded while Sasha looked at him with a slight sense of awe, making Eugene smile. "All things being equal, it does sound pretty badass."

"So let's get back to work." Maggie told us all.

I nodded and turned toward her, "What do you think?"

"I think that no matter what he can do, we need to get out of this before any of that can happen." She replied.

"Agreed." I told her. "They will be fine."

"I know."

Then banging started at the door. It was being opened. We all faced it, ready to fight to the death. When it slid open, it was Rick and he was holding an automatic rifle.

"Come on! Fight to the fence!" Rick yelled at us.

"We do not leave his side!" Abraham yelled. "Go, go, go!"

But I didn't care about keeping Eugene safe. I gripped Carl, dropping from inside the car.

"Carl!" Rick called. He swiftly went to his father. "Linny." He said and put his hand against the side of my head. I nodded at him. "Let's go!"

Rushing toward the fence, I stopped at the nearest body, pulling a knife free from his waist, a gun from a few feet away. Rushing back to where Carl and Rick were, I started to shoot all the dead that came our way. The others were doing the same. Passing behind him, I shot a walker before bringing my knife down on top of another, the blade slipping easily into its brain.

"Let's go! Move!" Abraham yelled as we made it to the fence.

"Come on!" Rosita called.

Gripping Carl, I forced him over the fence, swiftly following him before I turned back for Rick. He was over a second later, momentarily gripping my arm before we were moving again. All of us were here. We were all alive. We headed back to where the guns were buried.

"Right here." Daryl said and tossed Rick a shovel.

Dropping to his knees, he started to dig. I did the same, my fingertips numb from the damage that was already done.

"The hell are we still around here for?" Abraham shot at him.

"Guns, some supplies." Rick told him. "Go along the fences. Use the rifles. Take out the rest of 'em."

"What?" Bob asked.

"They don't get to live." Rick shot at him, getting to his feet.

Glenn stepped toward him. "Rick, we got out. It's over."

"It's not over till they're all dead."

"They can't get away with this." I frowned at him. "After what they've done? You want to let them live?"

"It's over." Rosita repeated. "That place is on fire. Full of walkers."

"I'm not dicking around with this crap." Abraham stated with anger. "We just made it out."

"The fences are down. They'll run or die." Maggie told him.

"And if they run into someone else?" I frowned at her.

"This isn't you." Maggie said softly.

I nodded at her, "It is. And you know it." Then Daryl was moving and we all looked to see Carol standing there. "Oh, my God."

Daryl already had her in his arms, hugging her as tightly as humanly possible. Rick moved toward her. I knew he felt guilty for what he did. He embraced her happily.

"Did you do that?" He asked. She nodded at him. "Thank you."

"You have to come with me." She told him.

He nodded and then we were on the move. Going in the opposite direction of Terminus. Moving up a small dirt road, there was a shed up ahead. Keeping our eyes to the woods around us, all focus was drawn to the door as it opened and Tyreese came out. Only it wasn't just him. Judith was in his arms. Emotion filled Rick and both he and Carl rushed forward. Rick took her from his arms, sobbing as he held her against him. Sasha reunited with Tyreese. Nearly everyone was back together again.

Stepping up to Rick, he turned Judith toward me. "Hey, sweet pea." I beamed at her with glistening eyes.

"She's alive." Rick told me as he pressed his lips to my forehead. "We all are."

"She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." I grinned, laughing as tears fell down my cheeks.

He looked up at the smoke, "I don't know if the fire is still burning."

Carol looked at well, "It is."

"Yeah." Rick said. "We need to go." He said taking Judith from me.

"Yeah, but where?" Daryl asked him.

He looked at him, "Somewhere far away from there."

Smiling up at Rick, I couldn't hide the happiness I was feeling. We were okay. We were still together. Judith was alive. For as bad as today was, it was ending on such a high note. Taking Judith back from Rick, I held her tightly as we headed back to the tracks. We didn't know where we were going but it wasn't here. When we got there, we all glanced at the sign as we passed by it. Rick stopped, making me do the same as he put mud on his hands, wiping out everything but SANCTUARY, putting NO above it. It had been a lie. A horrible lie that nearly got us killed.

"We're all okay, Rick." I told him.

He nodded at me, "I know."

"Good. As long as you know."

He put his hand against his daughters back as he leaned in and kissed me. "We're gonna be okay."

Putting my hand against his face, I gently ran my thumb across his lips. "We really are."

He smiled and kissed me again, pulling me tight against him. Then we turned and started to follow the others. No matter what happened. We would face it and conquer it together. We were family. We'd grown in numbers. We would be okay and we would continue to be okay.

We were survivors.

Walking for what felt like forever, everyone was in higher spirits now than they had been. How could the world not be brighter now that we were out of that place? Even if we didn't have a destination, we were still together. All of us.

"You sure you're okay?" Rick asked me.

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine." I smiled at him, bouncing Judith on my hip. "I can take her."

"Only if you want to. Otherwise I am perfectly happy to hold on to her." I asked, my smile growing. He put his arm around me, pulling me into him, kissing me softly. Gently rubbing his beard, I kissed him again. "We're gonna be okay."

"I know." He smiled. "I've got you."

Laughing lightly, I shook my head at him, "I think it's the other way around."

He nodded, pressing a kiss against Judith's cheek before taking her from me. As soon as she was from my arms, there was a different arm around me, and I smiled and pulled Carl tight against my side.

"How you doin'?" I asked him.

"I'm okay." He nodded at me. "You?"

I nodded back at him, "I'm good."

"How's your arm?" He asked.

I shifted my arm, "Healing nicely." He nodded, looking worried about something. "What is it?"

He looked at his dad who was talking to Judith. Putting my arm around him, I sped up just enough to put some distance between us and them. Running my hand across his hair, I pulled him tighter against me, looking down at him.

"What's going on inside that beautiful head of yours?" I smiled at him, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek.

"What are we gonna do?" He asked.

"We're going to walk, we're going to scavenge, and we're going to survive. Just like always."

"About what Dad did…?" He said and looked up at me.

My expression turned serious, "He did was he had to do."

"You've done things. Would you have done that?" He asked.

Sighing, I had to think about how to respond to that. "I may not have done what he did, but I would have killed them. I would have killed all of them and not thought twice about it. Anyone that threatens my family is asking for death."

"You've never thought twice?"

I smiled and nodded at him, "I did at the beginning. But I learned the hard way that people cannot be trusted. I don't trust anyone easily anymore. It takes a lot. I need to know things."

"The questions?" He asked.

"Yes. The questions. People are unpredictable and we can't let our guard down. That's when someone dies."

"And we can't let that happen."

Smiling, I tipped his hat and pressed a kiss against his forehead, "No, sweetie, we can't."

Continuing to walk and talk, Rick caught up to us, falling into a fun and playful banter with him. Carl was smiling at us but it was nice to just talk and not feel the weight of impending doom on us.

Stopping when the sun started to set, I was standing in front of Rick, with Carl and Judith next to us. Carl was giving her a bottle and so far she'd been doing amazing. Looking around at our family, I saw a happy Maggie and Glenn. Carol with Daryl. A still apprehensive looking Abraham and Rosita, and Eugene…he was just fucking annoying. There was just something about him that I didn't like. Something was off about him. I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. The only thing I was sure of is that I did not like him.

Then our misfit was coming toward us, making me quickly smile at her, "Tara."

She looked at Rick with heavy guilt. He nodded at her, "You didn't want to be there. That's why I tried to talk to you. Glenn told me you saved his life."

"He saved mine." She replied.

"That's how it works with us, right?"

"Right." She said and help up her fist for a pound.

Laughing lightly, I looked up at Rick who wasn't paying attention. "Hey."

Rick chuckled and pounded her fist, "Get something to eat. We'll start back at sunup."

"You, too." Tara smiled at me.

Laughing, I nodded and pounded her fist, probably a little too hard. She just grinned and moved to where Glenn and Maggie were. Rick offered me food and I graciously took it, making sure Carl got enough and that Judith was satisfied as well. Taking her from her brother, I sat with my back against a tree, smiling as she relaxed against my chest.

Shutting my eyes, I was starting to drift off. Judith had finally fallen asleep. I was nearly asleep when a twig snapped and I was up and nearly onto my feet when I realized that nothing was happening. Sighing, I sat back down, making Judith comfortable again. She briefly woke up but fell asleep again quickly. Sighing, I was frowning as my eyes searched for Rick, seeing him keeping watch with Michonne.

"You've got quick reflexes." Abraham said as he sat near me.

I nodded, "You have to in a world like this."

"What's your story?"

"I was in Atlanta. I got out. Had a bunch of shit happen to me." I told him and smirked.

He nodded at me, "Fair enough."

"What's yours?" I asked.

"The same." He smiled. "A never ending shitstorm that likes to explode more often than I'd like."

Nodding, I pressed a kiss against Judith's head, taking a deep breath of her baby scent, "Yeah."

There was a short paused before he smiled at me, "You're good with her."

Smiling, I rested my head against the tree, "I always wanted to be a mom."

"Never happened?"

"No." I replied sadly.

"Plumbing problems or prick problems?" He smirked at me.

I wasn't sure if I should be offended or not. Deciding that it wasn't worth it, I just smirked back at him, "Definitely a prick problem."

"Hey." Rick said squatting next to me.

My head jerked toward him, "Hey."

He looked at Abraham before he sat next to me, wrapping his arm around me as he leaned down and pressed a kiss against his daughter's head. Leaning back, I shifted myself closer against his side, resting my head against his shoulder. A moment later I felt his lips against my forehead, making me relax further into him.

"You should sleep." He told me.

"So should you." I replied softly.

He let out a soft chuckle, "The never ending fight."

"You need it more than me."

"No." He replied. "You need it so you can take care of your family."

I lifted my head and smirked at him, "I thought that was your job." I wanted him to kiss me. When he didn't I simply sighed and rested my head against his shoulder again. "You win."

"Finally." He whispered and pressed another kiss against my forehead.

Falling asleep, it felt amazing but was brief. Even after months of peaceful sleeping at the prison, now that we were once stuck without walls and security, I had quickly fallen back into my old sleeping habits. Meaning I didn't get any. Judith was still in my arms, Rick still had his arm wrapped around me, and now Carl was lying against my legs. I was officially unable to move. Sighing, I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't. I never could. Not when I felt so unsafe.

"Can't sleep either?" Abraham said, breaking the silence, my eyes drifting to him.

"Anything could be in these woods." I told him. "I just…don't want to be caught off guard."

He nodded, "I understand the feeling. Been there myself."

"No offense, but you don't know me. Or anything about me." I replied, gently shifting my men so I could get free.

Resting Judith in Rick's lap, he instinctively embraced her, making me smile as I stepped away from them, moving from the group. Going up to Tara, I relieved her for watch and told her to get some sleep. Keeping my eyes in every direction, I wasn't alone long before Abraham stepped up to me.

"Didn't mean anything by it." He told me.

"I'm not taking offense." I smiled at him.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." He replied. I just raised a brow at him. "To help pass the time."

"My story is not something I just give out to everyone who crosses our path." I stated. "And something tells me that you don't really want to tell me your story."

"No." He replied. "I don't."

Nodding, I walked from one end of the group to the other, dipping into the trees to make a circle around them. Everyone was sleeping but the two of us. Trust was hard to come by but our family wasn't lacking in that aspect. I just wished I could sleep as well as they were. I longed for a good night's sleep.

"You should crash for a while." He told me as I came back around.

"So should you." I replied, raising a brow.

He smirked, "Yeah, well, I'm used to not sleeping."

"Me, too."

He laughed lightly, "You are stubborn."

"I'm a Taurus. Of course I'm stubborn." I smiled at him.

"Still." Abraham nodded, "You should sleep."

"Thanks but no thanks." I replied.

"Really, woman?" He grinned at me.

Laughing, I nodded, "I am more stubborn than anyone you'll meet. And I can be far more childish than I should be."

He nodded again, still grinning at me. He was tall and burly and red headed with those mutton chops that I would have loved to shave off. He had entertaining speech and was the type of person I would expect to survive in a world like this. He was military. He was fun and it was hard not to like him. At the same time I felt like he could be brutal. He had a plan and despite everything that had happened I was pretty sure he was going to stick to it.

Since neither of us was budging, we settled for making conversation. We were quiet, making rounds to keep our family safe, also not wanting to wake them. Sitting in the middle of the road, we were facing each other, keeping an eye in either direction. Nothing was happening but the dead could come at any moment. Or worse…the living.

"So, you and Rick, huh?" Abraham said with a smirk.

"So, you and Rosita, huh?" I countered.

He chuckled and nodded at me, "She's a good woman."

Looking over at her, she was sleeping. She was fair skinned with kind eyes and a slender build. She was beautiful. "She is."

"You agree but you don't know us very well." He replied.

"I've talked to her a little."

"When you can tear yourself away from Rick and his kids."

"Enough." I frowned at him. "Stop trying to make it sound like I'm doing something I shouldn't. I've found someone who I can fall in love with. Rick is an extraordinary guy and to have him even partially reciprocate those feelings is everything. The world is fucked and to have him and the rest of my family – our family – that he started and allowed me to be a part of. That is worth living for. That is worth fighting for. It's worth everything."

He smiled and nodded, "I think you're right."

"Thank you." I nodded at him.

"And I don't think he partially reciprocates anything." He added. "I'd say he's about as fond of you as a person can be."

Smiling, I shook my head at him, "I don't think we're there yet. But if we ever get there I'd feel pretty lucky."

His smile grew, "You're there."

He got up and walked away from me. Then I heard someone behind me and I felt my cheeks flush. Looking up, Rick sat in front of me. Even with his unkempt hair and his ever growing beard, he was still a handsome man. I could barely see his lips underneath the mess of his beard and yet all I wanted in this moment was to have them against mine.

"Hi." I smiled at him.

"Hi." He replied, smiling as he nodded at me.

He gripped my legs and pulled me to him, putting them on either side of him. There was hardly any space between us as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me even closer to him. Taking his head in my hands, I rubbed his cheeks with my thumbs, loving the crinkles at the corners of his eyes as he smiled at me. Leaning in, I slowly brought my lips to his, kissing him softly. He chuckled before his hand was against the back of my head, kissing me deeply and passionately.

"I wish we were anywhere but here." He told me softly. "Some privacy would be nice."

"At some point I'm not going to care anymore." I replied and laughed lightly.

"There's nothing partial between us." He added. "Okay?"

"Okay." I smiled and kissed him again.

It was still early and everyone was still sleeping. Abraham had moved to where Rosita was, sitting next to her. He looked exhausted, his eyes on us with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye. This was a rare moment. The world didn't allow many moments like this. Too much time was spent simply surviving that to be able to just be together felt like a gift. I was falling for this man and I wanted nothing more than to just be with him. Him and his children and the family that he had successfully kept together. Even our home being destroyed, making us scatter to the winds, couldn't keep us apart. We were a family. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

I found love when I thought it was impossible.

A family when I thought they didn't exist anymore.

A home without four walls and a roof.

These people.

They were home.