Beautiful Disaster

by My Writing Is This

The dead were walking and surviving was imperative. Caroline had hit the ground running. She tried to never look back. She was alone for too long. Learning to live and love again wasn't easy. People still mattered. Many would come in and out of her life and not all was as it seemed. She had to learn to be a person again and to find her place. And the one she was meant to be with.

28. Respite

Chapter Twenty-eight: Respite

As soon as everyone was up, we all ate and drank, being sure we were rationing, before we started to walk again. Without a destination, all we could do was walk, and walk, and walk. It seemed never ending. The road just kept going and we just kept walking. I was thankful that the weather hadn't been overly hot since it made traveling easier. So far we weren't losing all our water to sweat and we hadn't come across any hordes of walkers. The ones we did come across were more than manageable. Taking turns so we didn't wear ourselves out. It left a lot of time to talk. Talking and walking. Two things I was more than happy to do. Especially now that we were all back together. It was proof that nothing was going to keep us apart.

"You're lyin'." Daryl smirked down at me.

"Why would I lie?" I smiled at him.

"I don't know. Sounds disgusting to me." He replied.

Scoffing, I raised a brow at him, "You asked. And you've done way more disgusting things."

"Nah." He replied. "I don't find pleasure it cutting into pus filled things just to watch them drain."

"Abscesses." I stated. "And you can't say it isn't fun until you try it."

"You're damn weird." He said and nudged me hard.

Laughing, nearly hitting a tree, he yanked me back to him. "And proud of it." He smiled and draped his arm across my shoulders. "Besides, I didn't become a vet tech because I couldn't handle gross things. I became one because I can."

He shook his head at me. "You're one of a kind, Caroline."

"I know." I told him and laughed, only this time he intentionally shoved me into the path of a tree. Hitting it, I slammed to the ground, laughing before I found myself being picked back up. "Thank you."

"Anytime." Tyreese smiled at me.

"Asshole!" I called after Daryl. He just turned and flicked me off. Laughing again, I shook my head.

Tyreese laughed as well, "At least you can find something to be happy about."

"What's not to be happy about?" I smiled up at him. "We're alive and together, aren't we?"

Another arm draped across my shoulders and I was pulled away from him. "Exactly!" Bob exclaimed. "That's what I keep saying. Everyone is trying so hard to be down about things, but…we are all alive." He beamed.

"Leaving no excuse not to be happy." I stated and laughed again. He turned and pointed at Sasha. She smiled and shook her head at him. Falling back, I hooked arms with her, putting my chin on top of her shoulder. "He is a keeper." I told her. "And he is head over heels for you." I added. "He makes you smile and that is a beautiful thing." She grinned and met my eyes. "A beautiful thing for a beautiful thing." I stated, kissing her cheek.

"Thank you." She told me.

"I only speak the truth." I grinned.

She laughed and nodded. "A gift and a curse."

"No words have ever been truer." I said and laughed.

Talking and laughing with her, Bob returned to occupy her time, making me move on. Seeing Michonne with Rick, Carol with Daryl, there was only two that were walking alone. Moving to Carl's side, I took Judith from him, wrapping my arm around his neck, pulling him to me so I could press a kiss against his cheek.

"Linny." He smirked at me.

"How are you holding up?" I asked as Judith bounced against my hip. Shifting her, she nestled against my chest. "You okay?" I added when he didn't say anything.

"Yeah, just…tired of walking." He replied.

Smiling, I nodded at him, "Yeah, but at least we all like each other." He gave me a look. "What?" I laughed and nudged him. "We do. This is the time we get to know each other."

"Just because you can talk to anyone doesn't mean we're all getting to know each other." He smiled.

"Well, maybe you should. Go talk to Abraham. He's an interesting guy." I told him. He gave me another look. "Take after me in this moment." I added. "Talk to everyone."

"Whatever you say, Mom." He smiled up at me.

Laughing, I nodded at him, "I thought that was kind of nice."

He put his arm around me, making me do the same, "I thought so, too."

"Not sure how your dad would feel about it, but…I liked the sound of it." I smiled at him. He smiled but bowed his head. "I know I'm not your mom, Carl. No one will ever be able to replace her."

"Well, you are with my dad." He stated.

I nodded, "I am. That still doesn't mean that I'm your mother and I would never pressure you like that."

"I know." He nodded and looked up at me. "I think I'll stick with Linny for right now."

Smiling, I rubbed his arm, "I'm more than okay with that."

"Someday maybe."

"Any day works for me." I nodded at him.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Then Rick was at my side, "It's like I haven't seen you all day."

"You've had company." I smiled at him.

He smirked at me, "Is that a tone of jealousy?"

Laughing lightly, I shook my head, "I trust you, baby."

He smiled and leaned in to me, kissing me quickly, "Good."

"Tell him 'one more'." Bob whispered in my ear. "Works for me."

Laughing, I looked at him, Sasha laughing and nodding at me. Then I looked up at Rick, "One more." He chuckled, his arm finding my waist, pulling me too him as he kissed me properly. "You're right. It works." I called to the couple behind us, hearing laughter.

"I'm gonna go hunting." Daryl told us before slipping into the woods.

I looked at Carol and she smiled sadly at me. Looking up at Rick, I pressed a kiss against his cheek, "I'm gonna go with him."

"Be safe." Rick smiled. "Though I will require more than five minutes later."

Grinning at him, I held his eyes for a long moment, "I'll be sure to give you ten."

His smile grew and I suddenly didn't want to leave him, but I also felt the need to take care of Daryl. He would never admit to needing it but we all needed to be taken care of. If we wanted to survive, we couldn't do it alone.

"Wait up." I told him, jogging to catch up to him.

"What are ya doin'?" He asked with a hint of annoyance.

"You can't always go off on your own." I told him matter-of-factly.

He sighed, "Sometimes it's nice."

"Why do I get the feeling that you're not out here just to hunt?" I frowned at him.

He stopped and turned to me, momentarily chewing on his lip as he looked at me. "Carol and I thought we heard someone in the woods last night."

"I didn't hear anything." I frowned at him.

"Well, we did." He countered.

Sighing, I nodded at him, "So we're looking for proof?" He nodded. "Then you might as well accept that I'm with you."

"Only you're not with me." He told me with a surprisingly cold tone.

"Hey." I frowned, gripping his arm, forcing him to stop. "What's with the attitude?"

"Nothin'." He said and pulled from my grip.

"Daryl Dixon." I frowned at him.

"Caroline Whedon." He smirked back at me.

Shoving him, we kept moving, looking for any proof that someone had been here. But I couldn't find anything. It didn't seem like he did either, though he did kill enough squirrels to put something in our stomachs. He was the reason we'd make it out here. He was the best hunter I knew. He was irreplaceable in so many ways.

"Ready?" He asked me.

"Yeah." I nodded, finishing filling up my water bottle. Offering it to him, he took a long drink. Refilling it once more, I stood and smiled at him. "Will you do me a huge favor and tell me what you're really thinking and feeling?" I asked him as we started to walk.

"I'm fine, Linny." He told me.

"You're not." I replied sadly. "Something is going on with you."

"Nah. Ain't nothin'."

I sighed, "You're annoying."

He smiled at me, "Almost as much as you are."

Grinning at him, I wrapped my arm around him, "I still love you."

"Good." He said and pressed a kiss against my forehead. "Love you, too."

Following the tracks and sounds of the others, we found them once again, nothing seeming to have happened since we left. Though we hadn't been gone as long as we could have been. Both of us moving toward Rick.

"Hey." Rick said wrapping his arm around me. "You two okay?'

"Yeah." I smiled up at him. "Everyone here?"

"Nothing happened."

"Good."

He gently rubbed my side before looking between me and Daryl, "We're going to find a road and head north until we can find a ride."

"Okay." I nodded at him.

Before anything else could be said, there was a man calling for help. "Help! Help, anybody! Help!"

"Rick." I said and looked in the direction.

"Dad, come on." Carl said as the man continued to scream. "Come on! Come on."

"Carl." I said and swiftly followed behind him.

"Linny." He said as I moved in front of him, putting my arm across him. "Come on."

"Anyone, help! Help!" The man was yelling, only the closer we got, we could hear the sound of walkers as well. "Help! Help! Help! Anybody, help! Help!"

The man kept screaming for help. Running now, Carl and I were the first to reach him, seeing a man on top of a boulder with walkers encircling him. Looking at Carl, he pulled out his knife. Nodding at him, I did the same, looking over my shoulder to see Rick and Daryl and everyone else coming up behind us. Rushing into the small clearing, I stabbed a walker in the head, the ones on either side of me now turning toward me. Shoving one, I stabbed the other, spinning to see an arrow imbed in its brain. Killing another, the others had taken out the rest, leaving the clearing now quiet.

"We're clear. Keep watch." Rick said, watching as Abraham and Rosita disappeared into the woods. As well as Bob, Sasha, and Tyreese. Rick looked up at the man. "Come on down." The man obliged, looking nauseous. "You okay?"

"Sorry." He replied. He was black, wearing all black, only he had a white collar. He was a fucking priest. "Yes. Thank you. I'm Gabriel."

"Do you have any weapons on you?" Rick asked him.

"Do I look like I would have any weapons?" The priest replied.

"Try again." I shot at him with a hard tone.

"We don't give two shot of curlies what it looks like." Abraham told him the same way.

"I have no weapons of any kind." Gabriel replied. "The word of God is the only protection I need."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Are you serious right now?"

"Sure didn't look like it." Daryl added.

"I called for help. Help came." He replied. We all just looked at him with skeptical expressions. I wasn't sure of him, let alone the rest of us. "Do you have – have any food? Whatever I – I had left, it just hit the ground."

"We've got some pecans." Carol told him, pulling some from her pocket, offering them to him.

It was a nice offer and Gabriel didn't hesitate to take them. "Thank you." Judith cooed in Carl's arms and Gabriel smiled at her, "That's a beautiful child." Rick just looked at him. "Do you have a camp?"

"No." Rick replied with a hard tone. "Do you?"

"I have a church." Gabriel replied.

Rick was clearly getting annoyed with him. "Hold your hands above you head." Gabriel listened and Rick started to pat him down. "How many walkers have you killed?"

"Not any, actually." He replied.

"Turn around." Rick told him, forcing him to. "How many people have you killed?"

"None."

"Why?" He asked taking a step back.

"Because the Lord abhors violence."

"What have you done?" Rick asked. Gabriel clearly was holding back. Even if he answered truthfully, there was still something he wasn't saying. He wasn't saying anything and he was clearly nervous. "We've all done something."

"I'm a sinner. I sin almost every day." Gabriel stated. "But those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers."

"We just saved your life." I stated.

Michonne was at my side, her hand finding my shoulder, "You said you had a church?"

Gabriel nodded and started to walk. Looking up at Rick, he nodded before the rest of us started to follow him. I didn't know what to think about this. For a man of God he seemed awfully secretive. Secrets would get us killed. For all we knew he was leading us to a hoard of walkers. I'd already played that game. Ray was killed because of it. I didn't feel like facing one again if I could help it.

"Hey, earlier, were you watching us?" Rick asked Gabriel.

"I keep to myself." He replied. "Nowadays, people are just as dangerous as the dead, don't you think?"

Daryl looked at him, "Nah, people are worse."

"Agreed." I added with a raised brow.

"Well, I wasn't watching you." Gabriel retorted. "I haven't been beyond the stream near my church more than a few times since it all started. That was the furthest I've gone before today." He paused, a small smile crossing his face. "Or maybe I'm lying. Maybe I'm lying about everything and there's not church ahead at all. Maybe I'm leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels."

I knew it was meant to be funny, but all it did was put me on edge, my hand gripping the hilt of my knife. Neither Rick nor Daryl looked amused in the slightest. Gabriel did a double-take at our expressions, instantly sobering.

"Members of my flock had often told me that my sense of humor leaves much to be desired." He stated.

"Yeah, it does." Daryl replied.

Reaching the church, it was the typical white with a tiny porch and three steps leading up into it. It was 'T' shaped, the steeple coming to a point in the sky. I looked at the sign, reading: St. Sarah's Church Episcopal. The doors were the only part of it that was the natural color. It was quaint, but it would do. It was safer than the woods.

"Hold up." Rick told Gabriel as he moved to go in. "Can we take a look around first? We just want to hold on to our squirrels."

Laughing lightly, I stepped up next to him, pulling my knife free as I looked at Gabriel. He looked between us before nodding. Rick let us in, seeing rows of pews and several lights hung from the vaulted ceiling. Passing along the side with Glenn, we moved into an office with a bathroom. There was art on the walls. Amazing Grace in script form. The Last Supper. Moving to Glenn's side, we lightly paged through sheets of paper where Gabriel had been writing out the Bible. I ran my fingers along the words. I'd gone to Catholic school K-6. After that it was religious education. Confirmation. I'd been around religion all my life and yet I felt detached from it. How could you not with the way the world was?

"Come on." Glenn said touching my arm.

Leaving the room, I looked up at the stained glass behind the altar. There was a small barrier between it and the rest of the room, frowning as I took in an assortment of empty cans all along the floor. Glenn didn't follow and I went back to him, seeing hand drawn and colored pictures of something in flames. Bible pictures. Then we looked at a picture on the wall, reading: And let us not grow weary of doing good. For in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9.

Meeting his eyes, I smiled, putting my hand against his face and pressed a kiss against his cheek, "Come on."

We didn't find anything hidden or otherwise. The church was empty. Going back to Rick, he whistled and the rest started to come in. Carl was swiftly moving toward us, bouncing Judith in front of me as I grinned at her, pressing a kiss against her forehead.

"Linny." Rick said softly.

Looking up at him, I nodded, "I know."

He nodded back at me. He was anxious. So was I. This was either a gift or a curse. Either way, I didn't trust Gabriel in the slightest. Even if he had been honest with us. There was still something he wasn't saying.

"I spent months here without stepping out the front door." Gabriel told us. "If you found someone inside, well, it would have been surprising."

"Thanks for this." Carl told him kindly.

He was being very kind. He was so much kinder then he had been. I was proud of him. At the same time I was terrified for him. Rick moved to the entrance where some were still standing outside. I leaned against the railing just outside the door, crossing my arms as I watched everyone. There was mixed feelings, making me feel on edge.

"We found a short bus out back." Abraham told Rick. "It don't run, but I bet we could fix that in less than a day or two. Father here says he doesn't want it. Looks like we found ourselves some transport. You understand what's at stake here, right?"

Rick nodded, "Yes, I do."

"Now that we can take a breath –" Michonne started.

"We take a breath, we slow down, shit inevitably goes down." Abraham interrupted.

Michonne stepped toward them, "We need supplies no matter what we do next."

"That's right." Daryl added. "Water, food, ammunition. Short bus ain't going nowhere. Bring you back some baked beans."

"One way or another, we're doing what Rick does. We're not splitting up again." Glenn told him. He stepped up the stairs, pausing in front of me. "You okay?"

"Sure." I nodded.

"What is it?" He frowned. I just smiled at him. He nodded, bringing his hand up, brushing my cheek with his thumb before he stepped inside.

"What he said." Tara said following Glenn in.

"We want to roll with you, but…what she said." Bob told him next. Sasha smiled and nodded, following him into the church.

Abraham looked up at me, smiling, "I don't think I need to ask you where you stand."

"What if you're wrong?" I asked him. "What if you make the trip and all hell breaks loose and nothing changes?"

"It's worth the risk." He told me. "Don't you want things to go back to the way they were?"

I thought a moment, smiling at him, "No."

"No?" He asked with raised brows.

"I miss the internet. I miss my movie collection." I told him as I stepped down the stairs. "I miss my laptop. My bed." Pausing, I smiled at him fondly. "But the way the world was? Not so much. Don't you think the world was a bit broken before?"

"And this way is better?" He shot at me.

"No." I finally told him. "I guess not." Going back inside, I went to Rick, taking Judith from his arms. "Hey, sweet pea." I told her, pressing my lips to her cheek.

"You okay?" Rick asked.

"Yeah." I smiled at him.

He pressed his lips to my forehead before turning to Gabriel. "How'd you survive here for so long? Where did your supplies come from?"

"Luck." Gabriel replied. "Our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart right after we finished it. It was just me."

"Come here, Judith." Carl said softly, taking his sister from my arms.

"The food lasted a long time." Gabriel added. "And then I started scavenging. I've cleaned out every place nearby. Except for one."

"What kept you from it?" Rick asked.

"It's overrun."

"How many?"

"A dozen or so. Maybe more."

Smiling, I met Rick's eyes as he looked at me and the others, nodding, "We can handle a dozen."

"Bob and I will go with you." Sasha said stepping toward him. "Tyreese should stay here, help keep Judith safe."

"That'll be okay?" Rick asked Tyreese.

"Sure. You ever need me to watch her, need anything for her, I'm right here." Tyreese told him.

"I'm grateful for it. And everything else." Rick smiled.

Gabriel nodded, "I'll draw you a map."

"You don't need to." Rick stated. "You're coming with us."

The priest looked panicked. He was a coward. He's lucky we found him. He probably deserved to be dead. "I'm not gonna be of any help. You saw me. I'm no good around those things."

"You're coming with us." Rick stated matter-of-factly.

Everyone started to move, leaving Carl, Rick, and I alone for the moment. Sitting in the pew in front of Carl, Rick squatted in front of his son.

"I'm gonna stay, too." I told Rick.

He nodded, "I'm okay with that."

"You sure?" I asked as I ran my fingers through his hair.

He took my hand, pressing a kiss against my palm, "I'll feel better about it actually." Smiling, I leaned down and kissed him. Then he looked at Carl. "Listen, I don't trust this guy."

Carl frowned, "Why?"

"Why do you trust him?"

"Everyone can't be bad." Carl stated.

I raised a brow, "He has a point." But then I looked at Carl. "Though I don't trust him either."

"Well…I don't trust this guy. We don't." Rick added and looked at me. "And that's why I'm bringing him with me. But he could have friends. So I need you to stay alert and help Linny and Tyreese protect Judith, okay?" Carl nodded. "Now…I need you to hear what I'm about to say."

"Okay."

"You are not safe." Rick told him with seriousness. "No matter how many people are around or how clear the area looks, no matter what anyone says, no matter what you think, you are not safe. It only takes one second. One second and it's over. Never let your guard down, ever. I want you to promise me."

Carl looked up at me. I nodded, giving him a sad expression. He looked back at his dad. "I promise."

"Okay." Rick told him before his eyes were on me. "You promise me, too."

Smiling, I nodded, "I promise you, Rick."

He stood, leaning over and kissed me deeply. "Be safe."

"You just made me promise to never feel safe."

He smirked and cocked his head, "You know what I meant."

Laughing lightly, I took his face in my hands and kissed him passionately. "I promise you that we will be safe. I won't let anything happen to your children."

"I'm more worried about something happening to you." He replied, making me frown at him. "You're reckless. You're stubborn. You'll put yourself in front of them and I can't let you do that."

"You won't be here to stop me." I replied. His expression grew serious. "Baby, I will not risk myself. The only reason I would, would be for your kids."

"It won't happen." Carl said standing. "Okay?"

"See?" I said putting my arm around him. "We've got it all under control." He sighed, "We'll be okay, Rick. All of us will be anxiously awaiting your return."

He nodded and held his hand out to me. Taking it, he gently pulled me to him wrapping me in his arms as his lips met mine. Wrapping my arm around his neck, placing my hand against his chest, I leaned into him.

"Please be careful." I told him with seriousness. "Please, Rick."

"I will, Linny." He nodded.

"I really am going to be anxiously waiting for you to get back." I stated. "Please come back in one piece."

He kissed me sweetly, his lips lingering against mine, whispering, "I will, baby."

It took me a long moment before letting him go. He took a step away from me, staring. Smiling, I nodded at him, trying not to feel as emotional as I wanted to. Putting my arm around Carl, I took a deep breath before watching him start to walk away.

"Dad." Carl called to him. He turned back to him. "You're right. I am strong. We both are. But we're strong enough that we can still help people. And we can handle ourselves if things go wrong. And we're strong enough that we don't have to be afraid and we don't have to hide."

"That's right, sweetie." I told him softly as I pressed a kiss into his hair.

"Well, he's hiding something." Rick told him.

"We'll stay safe, Dad." He told him.

Rick nodded, "All right."

Watching him walk away, I twitched to follow him, stopping myself before looking down at Carl, nodding at him.

"Go." He smiled at me.

"What?" I frowned. "No. I said I was staying here."

"You want to go. So, go." He said and gently nudged me forward.

I just furrowed my brows at him, "You sure?"

"Go." He said and laughed lightly.

Smiling, I hugged him, pressing a hard kiss against his cheek before I was running from the church. Swiftly joining them, I threw myself against Daryl's side, gripping tight to his arm. He looked down at me for a moment before he attacked my neck, making me shriek and laugh loudly. His arm was firmly around my waist as I attempted to push him away from me. In the end, my arm was around him as well, laughing while he grinned down at me fondly.

Then I realized all the eyes that were on us, "What?" I asked.

Rick stopped, falling in step next to me as he looked at Daryl, "I thought you were staying behind."

"I changed my mind." I smiled at him.

"Why?" He asked.

Daryl scoffed and moved away from us, moving to where Carol was waiting for him. Moving my arm around him, I leaned into his side, "Is it okay that I came?"

He nodded, "Yeah. I just wasn't expecting you."

I smiled up at him, "As soon as you were out of sight I knew that I really didn't want to stay."

"Not even for the kids?" He smirked.

"I like being with you." I told him, leaning up and kissed him.

He smiled down at me, "I like being with you, too."

Stopping him, I wrapped my arm around his neck, my other hand against his face as I kissed him properly. "I'm deeming us better together than apart." I told him.

He kissed me again, "I'd agree with that." I leaned further against him. "But you know we can't always be together."

"I know." I told him, deflating a little.

"We need to be just as effective apart as we are together."

"I know." I repeated.

He nodded, wrapping his arm around me as we started to walk again. Catching up to the others, Gabriel lead us through the town. Like most others, there were a lot of brick buildings. A maze of alley's as we weaved through them. Staying close to Rick, Bob came up on his other side, a knowing look on his face.

"Hey. When you said they don't get to live, you weren't wrong." He told him. "We push ourselves and let things go. Then we let some more go and then some more. And pretty soon, there's things we can't get back. Things we couldn't hold on to even if we tried." He paused, his tone kind and yet certain. "Washington's gonna happen, Rick."

"I haven't decided if we're going." Rick told him.

"Yeah, I know, and that's cool." He replied. "But you've seen Abraham in action. He's gonna get there and Eugene's gonna cure all this and you're gonna find yourself in a place where it's like how it used to be. And if you've let too much go along the way, that's not gonna work. 'Cause you're gonna be back in the real world."

Smiling at him, I wanted him to keep going. I liked what he was saying. But I knew that Rick wouldn't see it that way. He had come to terms with the world and I didn't think he'd know what to do if it all went back to the way it was.

"This is the real world, Bob." Rick replied.

I knew it.

"Nah." Bob smiled. "This is a nightmare and nightmares end." Rick gave him a disbelieving look. "I'm sorry. I'm calling it. Washington's gonna happen. You're gonna say yes. Already too much momentum. You can't fight city hall. Maybe that's just one of those parts of not letting go."

Smiling, I couldn't help but stare at the man. He met my eyes and winked at me. "I think we need to find some radio and you need to repeat that like a dozen times a day." I told him. "That was beautiful. I'm gonna have to write that one down."

Bob laughed, "Just saying what I think."

"I like the way you think." I replied.

"I do, too." Sasha said and swiftly pressed a kiss to his cheek.

He looked down at her, "One more."

She beamed up at him affectionately before kissing him properly. Grinning at them, I met Rick's eyes but he was just looking at me like I'd gone mental. "It's a nice thought." I told him.

"Doesn't change anything." He replied. "This is the world now."

"Rick." I frowned at him.

"I'm sorry, Linny. But that's what I believe."

"Well, I don't." I frowned at him. "I may not fully believe Eugene but what Bob just said is nothing but truth. You need to accept that. Accept it or you are going to lose yourself and everyone else."

I moved away from him, falling in step next to Michonne. She smiled at me, hooking her arm with mine, "You don't look very happy."

"Did you hear all that?" I asked.

She nodded, "Yup."

"And what do you think?"

"I'm with you." She replied. "Now and forever."

Smiling, I momentarily rested my head against her shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you."

Still following the priest we slowed as we came up to a big white brink building. It was a food bank, which made sense for having supplies and that enough people would have been here to overrun it.

"We're here. This was the food bank. It served the whole county. All the cans at my church were gonna end up here." Gabriel told us.

We all pulled out our guns, ready for anything once we stepped inside. Going in, the entryway looked like it seconded as an office, opening up into a room that the goods had been stored in. Right now there was a shit ton of clothes.

Keeping moving, we came to a hole in the floor full of water and walkers. The worst part was the smell that was coming up from it. The sewer had backed up. We could see shit floating in the water. Meaning the walkers were not only waterlogged and rotting but they were soaking up shit and piss.

"Disgusting." I whispered to myself.

"If a sewer could puke, this is what it'd smell like." Bob stated.

Laughing, I nodded at him, "More like a giant bout of diarrhea."

He laughed and nodded. Michonne was looking up, making me follow her line of sight, seeing holes in the ceiling. "The water's been coming down that hole for a while. Slimed this place up good."

"So, this is what it looks like if you're in water too long." I frowned as I took in the walkers down below. They looked like they were melting, their skin sagging from their bones. "Thank God we're not going down there." I smirked.

"We can use the shelves to block them." Sasha stated.

I frowned at her, "We're going down there, aren't we?"

Sasha nodded, "Yup."

"Yeah, that's it, Sasha. There's our way. Down those shelves." Rick stated.

"Baby." I frowned at him.

"Afraid?" He smirked, starting to disarm.

Sighing, I set my gun down, pulling the other from the back of my pants, as well as all the magazines I had. "Of course not. I'm not a wuss. I simply don't want to smell like they do."

"Get over it." He smirked.

"Asshole." I smirked back.

We took all our weapons off, keeping a knife each. Gabriel watched us looking extremely uneasy.

"Hey. I said you're coming with us." Rick told him.

"Don't look so scared, priest." I smirked at him. "We won't let you die."

He just looked at me with horror, starting to shake as we all started to enter the hole, using the shelves as we lowered ourselves as quietly as possible. As soon as we were in the water, we pulled the shelves together, blocking the dead from reaching us. At the same time it felt like we were putting ourselves in a cage. I hated that feeling. I'd been in one too many cages.

"I see three here. You got it?" Rick said as we all got ready to kill them.

The walkers were reaching through the gaps in the racks. Gripping the shoulder of one, I stabbed it through its head, letting it fall back and grabbed another. Hearing the sound of knives entering and leaving skulls, there was a whimpering and the sound of small cries. Turning, Gabriel had moved out of the protection of the racks and the walkers were quickly noticing.

"Gabriel!" I called, moving after him. "Shit." I said as he moved toward the steps, gripping them only to have them break free and fall into the water. "Gabriel, stop." I said reaching him, he was freaking out. "Come on." Turning, the dead were moving toward us. "If we die I'm blaming you." I shot at him, holding up my hands, my knife ready.

"Linny!" Rick called.

A woman was moving toward us and from the whimpering coming from behind me, and the expression on his face as I glanced at him; it was obvious that he knew her. He gripped on to my arm as she got closer, making it hard for me to raise my arm.

"Let go, Gabriel." I told him as she got even closer. "Let go!" Watching as she came closer, I was starting to feel panicked.

In the next second, Rick had grabbed her, slamming her face into one of the shelf beams. It didn't take long before her face caved and he let her fall into the water. Gabriel let me go and I swiftly turned and punched him.

"What the hell?!" I yelled at him. Turning to Rick, he put his hand against my face. "I'm okay." I nodded at him.

Turning back to the others, it was quiet, making us feel like we got them. Moving toward Bob and the others, he smiled at me, making nod and return it. His smile grew, only then I watched him go under. Yelling his name, in the next second my ankle was grabbed and I was swiftly pulled beneath the surface. Reaching for anything, fingers were against mine before I was pulled away from them. Still holding my knife, I reached down, momentarily feeling a mouth, jerking my hand back before stabbing it through its head.

I was released, breaking the surface, an arm immediately around my waist and I was yanked backward, hitting Rick's chest. "Rick." I said as I turned and wrapped my arms around him.

"Linny." He said gripping me tightly.

Taking his head in my hands, I kissed him deeply, "I'm okay."

"You sure?" He asked with worry.

I nodded, turning to Sasha and Bob, "You guys okay?"

"Yeah." Sasha said gripping him tightly.

Rick nodded, "Let's load up and get the hell out of here."

It took longer than I was comfortable with, but we managed to get all the food out of the hole. Emptying plastic totes, we filled them up with food, finding carts to take them back to the church with.

As soon as we were all loaded, Rick moved to me, putting his hand against my face, "You sure you're okay?"

I nodded at him, "Yeah, baby, I'm okay." He nodded at me, still looking worried. "You can give me a thorough examination later."

He chuckled and pressed a kiss against my forehead, "I just might."

Then Gabriel stepped up to us, making Rick glare at him. "I'm sorry. I – I panicked. I told you I'm –"

"You knew her when she was alive?" He asked him, not getting a response. "Yeah, I get it. You only tell your sins to God."

Starting out, everyone was helping push the carts, making it as smooth as possible. The dirt roads weren't very friendly to the small wheels and there was plenty of weight on top of them, sinking into soft soil. But now we had enough food to last us a good long while. To last a journey like the one that Abraham was asking us to take.

"You really okay?" I asked Bob as I helped push.

He smiled at me, "Yeah, Caroline, I'm okay."

I nodded, smiling back at him, "Good."

"Are you?"

"Yeah." I nodded, looking at where Rick and Michonne were. "I'm better than okay."

He followed my line of sight, smiling wider, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I replied quickly.

"Don't let Sasha go hard." He said with his eyes locked onto her.

"Why would I have to worry about that if you're okay?" I asked him. He smiled down at me, his expression telling me all I needed to know. Sighing, I nodded at him, fighting the tears that were already threatening to fall.

"Please don't." He said with a whisper, the smile still on his face.

I took a deep steadying breath, nodding at him, "I promise."

"You have a good heart and a good sense of humor. She needs that." He went on, making me nod as I clenched my jaw, still trying not to cry. "It's gonna be okay." He said nudging me. "We can't all survive this."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, one tear managing to escape before I quickly wiped it away. "Yeah, but your death was supposed to be legendary. Not because of a food run."

He laughing lightly, "Legendary, huh?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "You were supposed to die in the heat of battle with some hilarious pun rolling off your tongue. You were supposed to go out in a blaze of glory."

"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar." He told me softly.

"Yes!" I exclaimed making everyone look at me. "Sorry." I said as I looked between everyone. "He just…said something that I liked."

Bob laughed loudly, shaking his head at me, "This is why I like you."

"I'm going down in a blaze of glory." I sang softly. "Take me now but know the truth."

"I'm going down in a blaze of glory." Bob sang back. "And, Lord, I never drew first but I drew first blood. I'm no one's son, call me young gun."

I beamed up at him, "You are my new favorite person."

He laughed and wrapped his arm around me, then he became serious though the smile remained on his face, "I don't think I have to ask you to keep what to know to yourself."

"Of course not." I told him. "I know you'll do what you have to do before it gets too bad."

"I just need a little time." He replied seeing Sasha stop and wait for him.

"You have it." I told him, nudging him before I stepped away from him, momentarily hugging Sasha as I passed her. Moving to Rick and Michonne, I wrapped my arms around them, leaning against Rick as I smiled at Michonne. "Hi." I smiled at her.

She smiled back, "Hi."

"You're in a good mood." Rick smirked at me.

Leaned up, I gently pressed my lips to his, "I am."

"Do you miss the sword?" Rick asked Michonne.

She looked at him, "Wasn't really mine in the first place. Found it in the very beginning."

"How'd you get so good?" He asked next.

"She's just awesome like that." I smirked, hooking my arm through hers before taking her place at pushing the cart.

She smiled and looked at Rick, "It was just me and them out here all day, every day, for a good long time. I don't know what that was, but it wasn't a life. Not like today. Stumbling around in three feet of slime for some peas and carrots, that's living." We all chuckled before she grew serious again. "I miss Andrea. I miss Hershel."

"I miss Ray." I added as I smiled softly at her.

"Yeah."

"I don't miss what was before." Michonne told him. "I don't miss that sword."

"I almost miss before." I told them, getting them both to look at me. "I didn't care about anyone back then. I didn't care about anything." Meeting Rick's eyes, I cocked my head, offering a small smile, "It was easier that way."

"Yeah, well, you have me now." He replied matter-of-factly.

"You have us." Michonne added with a smile.

I laughed lightly, smiling, "Yes, I do."

Talking on and off, listening to the woods, knowing that we couldn't let our guard down, we finally made it back to the church. Going in, I looked around and saw everyone but Carl. Rick was with Tyreese and Judith while I turned and left, seeing Abraham working on the truck. Walking over to him, I kicked his foot, narrowly missing his leg swinging out to trip me, laughing as I darted away from him, seeing Carl at the side of the church. Swiftly moving to him, I wrapped my arms around him from behind, hugging him tightly to me.

"Hey, sweetie." I smiled, kissing his cheek.

"Mom." He smiled back.

"I thought you were going to stick with 'Linny' for now?" I asked him.

"I like 'Mom' better." He replied. "It has a nice ring to it."

Laughing lightly, I let him go, gripping his shoulders as I looked at the side of the church. "Huh." I said with furrowed brows.

"Hey." Rick said joining us. "Tyreese said you were out back. Come on in. We found food. A lot of it."

"Good." Carl told him, both of us still staring at the wall.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Those scratches." Carl said touching them. "They're deep. Like knives or something. Someone was trying to get in." He looked up at his dad. "I found something else." He started to lead us to the back of the church. "I don't know what happened, but whatever it is, we can handle it. Doesn't mean Gabriel is a bad guy for sure, but it means something."

YOU'LL BURN FOR THIS was etched into the wood.

"Damn." I said and looked at Rick.

He was thinking the same thing, nodding at me. I nodded before looking at him sideways, shaking my head a little. He shifted and shook his head before nodding again. Putting my hand on Carl's shoulder, he looked up between the two of us.

"Guys." He said. "I can still figure out what you're saying even if you're not saying anything."

Grinning, I wrapped my arm around him, "You're so smart."

"S-M-R-T." He smirked.

Laughing, I gently shoved him, "Exactly." Rick just looked at us. "It's an inside joke thing." I told him.

"It's a mother and son sort of thing." Carl stated before walking away.

Rick stayed in front of me. I shrugged at him, "I didn't start it. That's on him."

"But you're okay with it?" He frowned at me.

I smiled, taking his face in my hands, "How could I not be? I plan on being with his father for a good long while."

He smiled and kissed me, deeply. "You sure?"

"Rick." I said running my fingers through his hair. "I've never been more sure about anything in my life." I told him. "For now at least." I added and smirked at him.

He gripped my side, making me jerk away from him, only to have him yank me back against his chest, his lips meeting mine. I didn't know if it was too soon or not but I felt like I was falling in love with this man. There was something about him and even though when I met him, I hated him, I let him in, and now I couldn't imagine my life without him. Not anymore.

Going back in, we all talked as we organized the food, digging into it as the sun started to set. All the baked beans, green beans, canned fruit, and the works, filling our stomachs until we couldn't anymore. To make it even better, Gabriel allowed us to drink the communion wine. I loved wine and I laughed my ass off as Carol told me of when Glenn got drunk off the wine in the CDC. I hadn't heard it before and it had me just rolling, Maggie along with me. We talked and talked and talked. Eating and drinking. Happiness was filling the room.

When the conversation started to die down, I moved to where Rick was sitting. Judith was in his lap and Carl was sitting next to him. Sitting down, I leaned against Rick as I took Judith's hand, grinning at her; she leaned forward, practically hitting her head against mine. Laughing, I pressed a kiss against her forehead, resting my head against her father's shoulder. He turned his head, pressing his lips against my forehead.

"I'd like to propose a toast." Abraham stated, breaking the quiet that had settled over us. "I look around this room…and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title." He went on, raising his glass. "To the survivors."

"To the survivors." We all said and raised our glasses, taking a drink. Setting my glass aside, I hugged Rick's arm to me.

"Is that all you want to be?" Abraham went on, his tone changing. I lifted my chin from Rick's shoulder and stared at Abe. "Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat?" He asked and paused. "'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip." He paused again. "Eugene, what's in DC?"

"Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart." Eugene recited.

He always had an answer.

"However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started. Come with us. Save the world for that little one. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there…who don't got nothing left to do except survive." He finished, looking at Rick with both anxiety and hope.

Looking at Rick, he met my eyes, chuckling before looking at Judith who had started to coo. "What was that?" He asked her before smiling. "I think she knows what I'm about to say." He went on, looking at Abraham. "She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in."

Grinning, I kissed his cheek before his lips as he turned his head and pressed them to mine. "You sure?" I asked softly.

"I am." He replied. "I want that for Judy and Carl. I want that for you, Caroline."

I nodded, kissing him again, "I want that for you, Rick. I want everything for you."

I only had eyes for him, talking and loving his lips against mine. He left me disappointed when he got up and walked away, leaving Judith in my lap and Carl pressed against my side. Talking and laughing and playing and drinking…this was perfect. If we could get the world back to the way it used to be, every day could be like this. Every single day could be spent feeling happy and safe and not feeling like we're in danger all the time. If by some miracle Eugene was right, we could end this hell and come out on top. No matter what happened, Abraham was right.

We were survivors.