entirely new chapter - edited 9/5/2019

I would encourage you to follow the story on Archive of Our Own- it's much easier for me to edit old chapters.

Rin

The weight of the pepper spray bumped against Rin's leg as she ran.

The pepper spray presence bothered Rin; it was a constant reminder of her own physical vulnerability. She'd never used it, she almost certainly never would use it, and it seemed unlikely to think it could be a deciding factor if Rin ever encountered trouble. But Hanayo had asked her to carry pepper spray when she ran at night, and Rin had done it for her girlfriend's peace of mind.

Rin ran when she couldn't sleep. She let her mind wander to daydreams and worries: she dreamed of sick softball plays, Hanayo cheering her on; making another super cool band with all of her friends, playing big ass venues and making edgy rock music; proposing to Hanayo at the old shrine underneath a blooming cherry tree... In the distance thunder growled, but Rin didn't care. Her legs took over as Rin thought and dreamed, taking her through the tunnel under the train tracks. The tunnel's square blue lights were its only visibility.

She worried about Hanayo, of course, as always.

They'd gone to the same college, but Rin rarely saw Hanayo during classes, who was across campus. Although they'd moved in together in a shared dorm, they'd both tried to branch out a little - Rin ran with the girls from the soft ball team in the morning and sometimes went out with them afterwards, and Hanayo had, with hesitance, entered a few little coffee shop art shows. (It was good for them, Rin had been told, primarily by Nico, to make sure they kept growing as people.) Hanayo had dived deep into the art program, with a single writing course shared with Rin to balance out her schedule.

Something about Hanayo had changed on a different level than Rin. There was a polish to Hanayo's work that had not existed before, and a darkness that existed as well.

The blue lights of the tunnel shone like stars. Rin's shadow pounded behind her, following each step faithfully. Graffiti adorned the white bricks: abstract blocks of primary red and yellow, black haphazard lines, and curving forms that faded into blossoms. Rin imagined a red woman in a field with stalks rising above her.

She thought about Hanayo, so lost in her art project that evening.

They were supposed to have been watching Star Trek and cuddling and Not Doing Work, but... Hanayo hadn't been able to keep her hands off of her sketchbook. Rin had tried. Rin had cuddled up next to Hanayo on the couch and burrowed into her sweet-smelling neck and mewled and touched Hanayo's back in just the right place, but despite her girlfriend's sighs and quivers, Hanayo kept coming back to her drawing. The beach drawing. For her painting class. The one that gave Rin the creeps.

"Kayochin..." Rin did her best endearing puppy dog eyes towards her girlfriend. She pushed her bare leg against Hanayo's legging-covered one. "Aren't we supposed to hang out together tonight, nyan?"

The nyan gave Rin's whine the subtle sexual overtones she hoped for.

Hanayo had been flustered. She'd waved her hands and reddened and shook her head. "I'm so sorry, Rin! I just... I need to keep working on it. If I can just get the rough sketch done tonight... I might be up a little late." She did look truly sorry, and Rin had the fortune to see the remainder of Kayochin's pink blush. But.

Rin pouted. "Are you not coming to bed with me either then?"

Hanayo shook her head. She looked so tired. "Not tonight."

Worry crawled into Rin's head, and it wasn't just for her need of physical affection. Hanayo's empty landscapes had some meaning to them, and Rin didn't like it. It reminded her of something. "It scares me when you stay up late, Kayochin. On..." Rin looked at the pencil sketch of the desolate beach. There was something familiar about it. She imagined the feeling of hard sand on her bare feet. "On these places..."

Hanayo sighed. There was a faint edge to Hanayo, in the way she carried herself when she wasn't paying attention, with a distance to her look. As if she wasn't in her body or in her apartment, but somewhere far away in the dark crosshatching of the rocks and rounded counters of the dunes. In her mind's eye, Rin saw Hanayo walking along the sand with that dreamy, drugged-out look, with rumpled hair and her wet skirt dragging seaweed with her. A knife of anxiety pierced through Rin. "I need to draw it, Rin. I need to paint it. I keep dreaming about it.. It's... coming through."

Hanayo frightened Rin, when she talked like this.

"Where... is this?"

"I'm not sure. I keep seeing it. I've dreamed of it so many times. Do you ever get that, Rin? You just remember places and you're not even sure if you've been there before?"

A knowing stirred within Rin; something her mind didn't want her to be aware of. She saw a flash of a crowd, all facing her. Lights. Screaming. Rin had seen it before, she knew. Her brain felt uncomfortable within its skull; this wasn't something she was supposed to think about. "I..." Another wave of anxiety came through her. As if she spoke of the matter something bad would happen. "I dunno. Maybe."

"So strange..." Hanayo picked up her pencil and added another layer of cross-hatching to the jagged boulders along the shore. "I feel like if I keep pushing I'll figure it out. And..." She looked at Rin, her honeyed eyes dazed with obsession. "And I need to find out what this is."

Rin gave the drawing a quick look before she left. The sketch itself was foreboding with its fang-like rocks and towering lighthouse. Waves held dark shapes within it. Beneath the foam and debris something waited deep down for Hanayo to discover.

Rin exited the tunnel and ran further, further than she'd ever gone before, across the river bridge towards the factories and bars. Clouds gathered above her and lightening flashed miles away and Rin didn't care. She knew she wouldn't be sleeping any time soon.

Smoke drifted through the alleyways; smog hid the mundane world under its grey veil. Rin was suddenly very aware of the pepper spray flapping against her legs. In the distance Rin saw neon lights flickering. Bars. Restaurants. Love hotels. She blushed. She wondered if Hanayo had ever been interested in a love hotel...

Her pocket buzzed. A snap from Niko: Niko in a black crop top and black lipstick. The caption read GOING OUT.

Nice, Rin responded.

Shouldn't you be in bed?

It was almost midnight and Rin had left late to run. She sent back a selfie sticking her tongue out at her.

Nice. Isn't there supposed to be a storm coming down there?

Rin looked up. The sliver of the moon had been overcast by looming dense clouds above her. A drop of water fell onto her phone's screen.

Nyan, Rin responded, with a picture of the near-bursting clouds.

Rin wasn't a hundred percent sure where she was. She knew, technically, that if she crossed the bridge again and went through the tunnel, she'd have a twenty minute walk through the park to her apartment.

Go inside! It's supposed to be a bad storm! God! The scolding was sent with a picture of Nico and a blonde girl making weird faces at her, which did not add to Nico's authority on the matter. Another drop. Right over Nico's face.

w/e, she texted.

All the same, Rin headed towards to tunnel.

From within the tunnel the rain sounded like a waterfall, and the entrance was cut off with a sheet of a water. Rin felt as though she'd entered a cave. The rain would clear. She watched and wondered if Hanayo was watching, too. The blue lights of the tunnel seemed dimmer than the last time she was here. From where Rin stood, she couldn't see the exit, but only an endless hallway of blue flares that led into the darkness. The bright graffiti murals had turned arcane and hostile in the low light. She began to walk towards the other side. There was no point in waiting; Rin figured she might as well get a start back home.

Rin's vision was weak in the low light. As she walked, her shadow followed with wild flickers. It weight seemed heavy behind her, dragging itself along. Its form split into two, three, realigning itself with delay when Rin looked behind. A glint of movement caught Rin's eye. Shadows in flight. She fingered the pepper spray without thought, spinning around.

There was empty air and darkness. Nothing. Of course.

It was late. Rin had gotten up early. Maybe she'd skip First Year Experience tomorrow.

She had been walking for at least five minutes, but Rin still couldn't see the entrance. Would it be so bad to just fall asleep right there? Her eyes dragged down. The graffiti blurred and shifted in the blue electric torches. Red shapes had turned dark. Rounded crimson forms were caught in a tangle of dark lines. She saw the figure again again. This time it was bound in thorns. Rin stared without comprehension, like she was watching a movie in a language she did not speak.

Someone called to her. A familiar voice. Was she dreaming? Her heavy-lidded eyes saw two figures in the murals, one round and inviting, the other scrawny and feral. A goddess pulling a wild cat onto her lap.

The blue lights were distant stars, and the voice called again.

"What month should we book for?"

Her hand had been interlaced with another. Manicured nails.

"Some time in spring. Maybe..." Someone kissed Rin, someone who tasted like sweetness and light. "Maybe April?

The voice was a remembered dream she'd forgotten. Soft and sweet but earthen and so deep down... She thought of soft breasts pressed to hers, like Hanayo would sometimes, and she was safe, like she had been, before-

Before?

The lights in the tunnel had gone out.

Rin walked forward. It was the only thing she could do. She didn't pull out her phone, for some reason, and she had a feeling it wouldn't work even if she did. The voice whispered soft things, pleading things. It didn't want her to worry, but-

In the distance, at the exit of the tunnel, Rin saw a woman with wheat colored color. Her brain protested; she was not supposed to see this. Rin knew who it was, even if she was a little taller, even if she was dressed differently. Rin would know her anywhere.

Lightening struck.

The bolt was white-hot. Rin couldn't see, couldn't hear. For a moment everything was silent and dark and Rin felt a strange relief. For a moment there was nothing.

When she could see again, she was outside. It was raining.

1:30, her phone read.

Rin didn't tell Hanayo about the experience, or even Nico. She was dreaming, she told herself. She'd fallen asleep walking. Things like that didn't happen. She thought about telling Nozomi, but as the days passed Rin found it easier to put aside. It wasn't somewhere she had been supposed to go, anyways.

There was a change in Rin, afterwards. An darkness that settled over her like a cloud. She stopped running so late, preferring to go with the track team on their early evening jogs.

Always with the pepper spray tucked into her holster, banging against her leg.