MAKI

In retrospect, Maki probably should have paid more attention to the meteor.

But how could she pay attention to anything but her beautiful, loving, adoring girlfriend? What were a few shifty glances and quickly hidden papers, when she'd found someone who seemed to whole-heartedly care for her? A few secrets were nothing, she decided one evening- watching Honoka sleep over her desk, when happiness seemed to finally be hers to take.

So what if Honoka had changed her life goals so much from when they'd met again? Surely Honoka had her reasons. Someday she would tell Maki. When she was ready.

Maki knew these things: that space rocks weren't supposed to glow, that Honoka had not been a good student as a high schooler, that sometimes things felt… wrong in ways she couldn't quite pinpoint. Conversations seemed to repeat sometimes. The occasional odd sinking feelings of despair when she watched the night sky had grown, and Maki began to wonder if impending doom was a normal feeling of Seasonal Affective Disorder. She felt as though there was no world beyond the cloister of college at times, and when they graduated, they would simply disappear like mists into the air.

The nightmares began shortly after the semester had begun.

In the dreams, Maki was always alone. Sometimes she dreamt she was on a rocky beach, other times she was in a city, with fires in the distance. She would hear voices beneath the sea, muffled bangs somewhere beyond; but no true words.

There had been people there before, she knew. With her. But now she was alone. A panic rose in her chest. Alone. The way she'd been, before she'd met all her friends, before when she lived with her family-

"Hey. Maki. Maki!"

Maki heard a voice from somewhere.

"Wake up, Maki."

Somewhere across the bay, Maki saw a figure on the water. Green light rose from the waves and the face was half revealed, a girl's face, a pretty face illuminated in verdant light, the face was turning-

"Maki, it's okay, I'm here-"

Blue eyes met hers before she woke with a start.

Her bed, her bedsheets tangled over her legs, a heavy coat of sweat on her shoulders. It was still dark and only suggestions of objects could be seen in the low light.

"Maki, hey…" Honoka's hand was grasping hers, "You were calling out. You okay?"

Maki shook her head. The scene played over and over in her head: the beach, the gunshots, the figure; something about it was so familiar, as if she'd been there before. Another world lodged in hazed memory, it seemed.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Maki shook her head again, laying her head on Honoka's chest. How could she possibly explain such a thing?

"It's okay, it's okay…" Did Honoka notice her shaking? She didn't say anything, but placed one arm around her, "It's just a bad dream, it can't hurt you…"

"I just… I'm sorry if I woke you up, Honoka…"

Honoka kissed the top of her forehead, surely tasting salt. "Maki. It's okay. I am your girlfriend you know; I'm supposed to do these things. Try to go back to sleep."

"I don't ever want to go to sleep ever again." It wasn't as if it were scary, exactly. But that feeling of alone-ness, that awful wounded feeling in her chest when she remembered kneeling on the coarse grains of sand, watching the waters rise above her head, the taste of ash and the sting of coldness-

Honoka held her, not saying anything for a few minutes. She hummed, stroking Maki's hair, rubbing her back. Her smell relaxed Maki, fresh and cirtrus-y as always. She tried not to let the images play in her head. No green lights. No strange girls on top of oceans. Just her and Honoka, together, wrapped up in each other. Nothing else needed to exist. They stayed like that for a while, Honoka humming, Maki grasping

Maki kissed Honoka first- really kissed her, with soft and open lips, with her thighs clenching around Honoka's leg. Honoka reciprocated with warmth out of instinct, but quickly drew back.

"Maki, are you sure you want to…"

"Please." She turned away, not wanting to meet Honoka's eyes, "I don't want to think tonight."

At the "please" Honoka smiled despite herself- it was their word, to signal the beginning of… certain… situations like this. But Maki could see the calculations in Honoka's head, worrying about her.

"Are you sure you're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," Maki moved down the bed, perching herself above Honoka. She put hands on each knee and moved upward slowly, "Do you want me to show you how sure I am?"

With Honoka's sharp intake of breath Maki knew she'd won, and with trailing fingernails she grasped her victory.