Hello, all! It's been awhile but this story is still going! I'm completely unsure of how much this story is liked but I'm still going to post. Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated no matter what they say. This is my favorite story to write and I'll keep doing it and I'll keep posting it. I just hope that everyone who is reading it is enjoying it. That's all that really matters. But feel free to drop a line! The excitement is just beginning!
Now onto the next chapter. Alexandria is bound to be exciting!
Chapter Thirty-eight: To Be Normal Again
When I woke up, for a second I forgot where I was, shooting up and looking around the room. The sun was up and at least half of us were gone. Judith was standing in her playpen, making soft noises as she smiled at me. Smiling back, I stood and moved to her, picking her up as she gripped fistfuls of my hair, attempting to put it in her mouth.
"I don't think so." I told her, getting her to grunt at me. Laughing, I moved to the kitchen, opening up the cupboard where I'd put the formula and bottles. "Let's get you fed first."
"I can do that." Carol told me as she came in.
I smiled at her, "I'm more than happy to do it."
"Just thought you might be eager to get moving."
"No." I told her. "Not really. We haven't had to worry about jobs for a while and now we'll have start new routines."
She nodded, "How you holding up?"
"I'm good." I smiled. "I think." I added, tilting my head. "I mean. I am completely for this place and what it has to offer."
She slowly came to my side, "You're not worried about that fact that they have no idea what they're doing? They have no idea what the world is like. They live in a fantasy bubble and at some point it is going to burst."
"Isn't that why Aaron brought us here?" I asked. "And I think us being here will be what pops their bubble. They'll see. We'll teach them."
"Don't you think Rick and you would be better leaders for this place?"
"Why does everyone assume I want to lead at all? I'm not a leader."
"You are." She smiled matter-of-factly. "You've been leading a lot longer than you think."
I scoffed and shook my head at her, starting to shake the bottle. Judith was looking up at me from where she was sitting on the counter in front of me. "What are you looking at?" I shot at her. She just shrieked and bounced a little, clapping her hands together. Laughing, I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I don't want that kind of responsibility, Carol. You and Rick and Daryl appear to have a little co-leadership role thing going on. I'll follow you guys. Not me."
"You will." She stated. "You're true to yourself and you will always do what you think is best. Even if that goes against Rick."
"Where is he?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Upstairs, I think."
I nodded, "Okay."
Feeding my kid, I took her upstairs with clean clothes for the both of us tucked under my arm. Going into the bathroom, I shut the door, stripping us both down before I took her into the shower with me. It was large enough that she could just sit and splash around on one end while I cleaned up in the other. Then I knelt and scrubbed her clean, blowing raspberries into her stomach to make her shriek and kick. Her hair was getting long and I couldn't believe how fast she was growing. It wasn't fair. She had been so small and squishy when I met her. She was still squishy but the power of her kicks was nearly enough to give me a bloody lip.
Getting out, I dried us off, wrapping a towel around my hair as I brushed my teeth. She watched me, her little hands running along my skin as she entertained herself. As soon as I was done, I got us both dressed, feeling like I was fucking royalty in matching red underwear and bra, jeans, and a black t-shirt. Dressing Judith in a white onesie, followed by blue cotton pants and a purple cotton shirt. She looked adorable. Taking the towel from my head, I combed it out, braiding it over my shoulder. Picking her back up, I headed downstairs, my nose immediately attracted to the scents coming from the kitchen.
"Carol." I said airily as I saw the spread on the island.
"It's our first day. We can't go out there without a full stomach." She smiled at me. Nodding, she just stepped up to me, taking Judith from my arms. "Eat something." She ordered.
Nodding, I took a piece of bacon and ate it slowly. It tasted so good I thought I was going to cry. Diving into the eggs and toast and meat and fruit, I devoured far too much, afraid that it might actually come up. Daryl came in and started to eat with me, and then Michonne and Rick appeared doing the same. We all talked and laughed and ate, completely content with the world. How could this place be bad if we were provided food like this?
"I better get going." I told Rick as I stood, shoving the last piece of bacon into my mouth. I wasn't even sorry about it.
"To where?" Daryl asked.
"The infirmary." I replied. "My job is to assist Pete."
"Makes sense." He nodded.
I smiled, pressing a kiss against his cheek, "Yeah." Then I was looking at Rick, "Walk me out?"
Everyone just smiled as he swiftly got to his feet, following me. As soon as we were out of sight of the others, my hand was grabbed and I spun into his chest, laughing as his mouth crashed against mine. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him deeply, wanting to stay in with him. But we'd had our fun. It didn't last for days like I had wanted, but there would be time for that. We just had to get acclimated a little bit more before it could happen.
"Be careful." He told me.
"I will." I smiled. "This will be a whole different experience. Coming home from work and telling you about my day." I told him and laughed lightly.
He smiled and kissed me again, "Have a good day."
Sighing, I stared at him, "I really don't want to leave you."
He laughed lightly, nodding, "Yeah, well, I think we'll survive."
I nodded back at him, "Yeah."
"I don't want you to leave either." He told me.
Smiling, I kissed him again, "See you later."
Leaving, I stopped at the top of the steps, looking down the road. It was a beautiful day and the sun was shining. Smiling, I went down the steps and started my short walk to the infirmary. I passed the second house that was ours. Jessie and Pete's were next, crossing the crossroads before moving across the street and stepped up to the infirmary door. Pausing for a moment, I pushed the door open to see Pete sitting at a desk, looking at some papers that were in front of him.
"Morning." I told him happily.
"Morning." He smiled in the same way. "How was your first night?"
"It was alright." I nodded.
He just chuckled, "It's weird, isn't it?"
I nodded, "Yeah."
"But this place is worth it, I promise." He smiled as he stood, stepping toward me.
"I sure as hell hope so." I smiled back.
The space was nothing special. There was a medical exam table, a double bed in place of a hospital bed. Shelves were lining the walls that held all the supplies. It was basically just a house made to look like a clinic. There were a few partitions to add a little privacy. The bedrooms were lined with as many beds that would fit comfortably. A lot of bottled water. There was more in it than I thought there would be, but my mind was already racing with way of improving it. It was obvious that a man organized it. Though it gave me instant direction and that was an amazing feeling.
"So, as you can see we do have quite a bit of storage in here. A closet over there that has a bunch of supplies in it. We have several beds and enough equipment to sustain a minor influx of patients." He explained. "It's been just me for a while so I'm sure you'll find that my organization skills are lacking."
"Yeah, well, you're in luck. I tend to be extremely organized and OCD when it comes to work. Home life is a completely different story but we won't get into that." I told him.
He chuckled and nodded, "I'm going over the drug inventory and a wish list. If you want to just look around and see what you'd like to change, have at it. I'd just appreciate a little bit of a heads up before you do too much. It might be a mess but I do know where everything is."
"Do you have an inventory for everything else in here?" I asked.
He smirked at me, "I will admit that I've been more concerned with the meds than anything else."
Smiling, I nodded, "Then I know I won't be bored."
He laughed, dropping his hand onto my shoulder, "I think we're gonna get along just fine."
"I think you're right."
Spending the next several hours going through everything in the infirmary, I wrote down what it was and how much we had of it. I actually was really enjoying myself, feeling very motivated to complete the task at hand. I hadn't even realized how much time had gone by until the door opened and Jessie came in.
"Hey." She smiled, holding two brown paper bags.
"Hey." I grinned at her. "How's it going?"
"Good." She nodded. "Ready for some lunch?" She asked.
"Lunch?" I frowned.
"It's nearly one." She smiled.
Looking at the clock, I was slightly shocked, "Huh. Time flies when you're having fun."
"Are you?"
"I am." I told her honestly.
"She is a Godsend." Pete said as he stepped toward her, leaning in a pressed a kiss to her cheek, "Hey, baby."
"Hey." She replied. "I brought you two lunch."
"Thank you." He smiled.
He went back to his desk and I took the bag she offered and opened it up. There was a PB&J sandwich, carrots, and an apple. "Thank you so much." I smiled at her.
"I know it's nothing special but I had a feeling you might be a little preoccupied." She replied.
I nodded, "I am. But I really like doing stuff like this. Once it's done we'll be far more efficient."
"I kept telling him that this place needed to be organized." She stated as we both took a seat.
"Yeah. Badly. But that's what I'm here for. He may have the brains by being a surgeon but I know a thing or two about running a practice."
"We're lucky to have you." She smiled.
"I'm glad. I don't think I want to be anywhere else. This place is amazing. And to have a job and purpose again? That's more than anyone can ask for in a world like this. None of you are falling apart. You're thriving. Though you all are the luckiest sons a bitches in the world."
"How so?"
"Because you've survived this long." I stated. "You're so lucky that no one has rolled up to your gates and taken this place over. None of you seem like you'd be very good in a fight." Looking at her, she was just smiling at me. "I am so sorry." I told her, feeling horrible. "I didn't mean to offend you. I just – I mean – I –" I tried but was only digging myself a deeper whole.
"It's fine." She said waving it off. "It's not like you're wrong. Aiden and Spencer I think are the most experienced and even they don't really know much."
"Jessie." Pete said from his desk, giving her a hard look.
"I'm just saying that we're better off now that they're here." She told him kindly. He just looked at her, glancing at me before he lowered his gaze. "I should probably go."
"Thank you for lunch." I smiled at her.
"Yeah, we should do dinner sometime." She smiled back.
"Do you have any wine?" I asked.
She nodded, "I do actually."
"Then I am totally there." I grinned and laughed lightly at her.
As soon as she was gone, I felt Pete's eyes on me. Finishing eating as quickly as possible, I disappeared into the closet, continuing to inventory without being in his line of sight. When five o'clock rolled around Pete called out to me, telling me it was time to call it a day. Sighing, actually a little disappointed, I stopped what I was doing, setting it aside and joined him by the door.
"Nice work today." He told me.
I nodded, "It might take me a few days to get everything squared away, but it'll happen."
He chuckled, opening the door for me, "I'm sure it'll look great when you're done."
"I'll write everything out and even make a diagram to make it easier for you to memorize. But as long as you know your alphabet, you should be fine. Though I am grouping certain things together, all the things that is alike. And I've started to write down things we might want to look for on runs."
"Slow down, Caroline." He laughed. "You just got here. It's been one day. Don't go overboard just yet."
"I'm just motivated is all." I said giving him a small smile.
"We've got time." He replied kindly.
Looking up at him, in this moment I thought he was an okay guy. He didn't smell at all like alcohol and he had been nothing but patient with me all day. "I know."
"Good. So, relax a little. It doesn't all fall on your shoulders right now. Let it fall on mine." He told me.
Taking a deep breath, I forced it out as I smiled up at him, "I'm not very good at that. I tend to take care of everyone and everything around me. If I can do it than I will. I don't ask for help when I should and I put everything on my shoulders."
He grinned, looking down at me, "I have a feeling I'm going to like having you around. Things will be a lot less stressful if I can share the weight a little."
"You're gonna feel pretty damn light." I told him and laughed.
"See you tomorrow?" He said when we'd reached his home.
I nodded, "Tomorrow." Walking to mine, I went up the steps and let myself in. "Hello, family!" I called to the house.
"Linny." Maggie said as she got up from the couch. It was obvious that she and Glenn had been taking a moment for themselves.
"Maggie." I smiled as I hugged her tightly.
"How was your day?" She asked me.
"Really good." I nodded. "I think I'm gonna like it a lot there."
"Linny." Rick said as he appeared.
"Baby." I beamed at him. I was in his arms a second later. "Mm, you feel good."
He put his face in my neck, pressing a kiss before he let me go, "You alright? Was Pete…?"
"No." I replied. "It was a good day. I'm still not sure if he's a good guy or not, but he did good today." He nodded. "How was your day?"
"Good." He nodded. "We took in the community for a while."
Smiling, I put my hand against his face, kissing him, "I'm glad."
In the next second arms were around me, making me laugh as I embraced Carl. Everyone slowly started to come back in. Abraham was going to help with construction to make sure the walls were secure. Maggie was going to be working with Deanna. Glenn, Tara, and Noah were to go on runs. Rosita would be joining me. Carol was to cook. Eugene was an engineer. Leaving Rick, Michonne and Daryl's jobs still up in the air. But everyone had something to do and it was going to make life around here quite different.
After enjoying a home cooked meal by Carol's hands, we once again crowded around each other in the living room. We talked about our days and what we had seen and heard and learned. We needed to piece everything together so we could make a final judgment on this place. But I couldn't help but be all for it. No matter what happened, this place needed us. They were ill prepared for – well – anything that came at them. Deanna realized this. Aaron did. The one who didn't was the man I had devoted myself to.
"Baby." He whispered as he came up behind me his arms moving around me as he pressed against my back.
"I love you." I whispered in response. I'd been standing at the window, looking and thinking, while everyone else was drifting to sleep.
He laughed lightly, "I love you, Linny."
"You need to sleep more." I told him. "We have a bed upstairs we should really be using."
He pressed his lips to my neck, trailing them along my shoulder, "I know. But I'm just not ready yet."
"I know, baby. But I think you should trust me and give this place a chance." I replied, bringing my hand up to the back of his neck, turning my face against his.
"You smell amazing." He replied, smiling as he sucked my neck, his tongue warm against my skin, making me shudder.
"Way to change the subject." I told him, though I was more than happy with what he was doing, goosebumps rising on my skin.
"Do you want me to stop?" He asked as he tightened his hold on me.
Turning my head, my lips met his, whispering, "Never."
"Ahem." A voice said softly.
We both whipped around, relaxing as we looked at Michonne. Rick pressed his lips into my hair as she joined us. I gently nudged her, "Can't sleep?"
She shook her head, "Deanna hasn't given me a job yet."
"You want one?" Rick asked her.
"Yeah. Do you?"
"That's signing the papers. That's saying yes, this is how it is." He stated.
"Baby." I said softly.
"I know." He replied the same way, his lips against my ear.
"You afraid to do that?" Michonne asked him.
"Are you?"
"No."
"So then why are we all awake?" He asked. He put his lips against my neck. "I'm gonna take a walk."
"Rick." I said following him.
"Just a few minutes." He smiled at me.
"Can I come?" I asked.
He paused at the door, smirking at me, "Is that a real question?"
Grinning, I swiftly moved to him, waving at Michonne before we both slipped outside. The cool air felt amazing, taking a deep breath of it. Rick swiftly took my hand, leading me down the road. Everything was quiet. Still walking, we were nearly to the Monroe house when music started to drift to us. Grinning at Rick, I led him toward the sound, looking at him mischievously. He smiled, gently pulling on my hand. He knew what I wanted and he would never make it easy on me.
"Dance with me, Rick." I told him lustfully.
He sighed, dipping his chin as he smiled at me, "Right now? Right here?"
"Why not?"
"People could be watching."
"Then they'll be jealous." I grinned as I pulled him to me. "What woman wouldn't want a man who is willing to dance with her on a whim in the middle of the street?"
He chuckled softly, "Fine."
"Yeah?" I beamed at him.
He yanked me against his chest, his arm moving around my waist while he took my hand in his other. I was firmly against his chest as he started to dance with me, turning and spinning me to the music that was filtering through the open windows.
"You are kind of amazing, you know that?" I smiled at him, playing with his fingers.
"So are you." He replied.
"We never talk about before." I told him. "Did you dance with Lori in your living room?" I smirked at him.
He nodded, "At the beginning we did. But then as the years went by we stopped dancing. We stopped talking. We just…stopped."
Nodding, I ran my fingers through his hair, "I'm sorry."
"You never had anyone before the end, did you?" He asked.
"No." I replied. "Just after."
"I'm sorry." He told me. "You deserve everything."
I laughed and shook my head, "No, baby, I really don't."
"You were a good person before all of this."
"So were you."
"You're still a good person."
"So are you."
He grinned at me, "I'm never going to win this one, am I?"
"Nope." I grinned, gripping the back of his hair. Kissing him deeply, I pressed my forehead to his. "I want more moments like this, Rick. I want more moments where we're not afraid to have them. I want peace. This place will give us peace."
"Okay." He told me.
"Really?" I asked him.
He nodded, "Okay."
We danced for a little while longer before going back to the house. Letting ourselves back in, we found the area of floor that we'd slept on the night before. Lying down, I felt content as Rick wrapped his arm around me, pulling me tightly against his chest. Hugging his arm to me, I folded my arm underneath my head and fell asleep.
The sun's rays woke me the next morning. Rolling, I sat up, realizing that I was alone in the room. It was weird. Getting to my feet, I stretched from top to bottom, starting to feel annoyed that we weren't utilizing the bed that was upstairs. Even Judith was gone and I looked into the kitchen to see it empty as well.
"Rick?" I called to the empty space. "Michonne? Maggie?"
Nothing.
Sighing, I freshened up before moving toward the infirmary, figuring everyone else was doing whatever it was that they were supposed to be doing. Though I was wondering where the hell my kids were. There was going to have to be a talk later about leaving notes so no one was freaking out about where everyone was.
"Linny!" Carol called to me.
Turning, she was walking toward me with Judith in her stroller. "Thank God." I said putting my hand against my chest before jogging toward them. "I woke up and everyone was gone."
"I told Rick to leave a note." She smiled.
Sighing, I nodded, "Well, he didn't and I was trying very hard not to freak out."
"I guess there's a few things we need to get better at." She smiled.
I squatted in front of my daughter, taking her little hand, smiling at her, "You're the worst offender of them all." Pressing a kiss against her hand before her cheek, nibbling at her neck so she shrieked and laughed. "I'm glad everyone is okay." I told Carol. "I'm gonna head to the infirmary."
"Sounds good." She replied. "I'll do better at over communicating."
"Good." I said and gently nudged her. "Love you."
"Love you." She replied and kept walking.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly before walking the rest of the way to the infirmary. Letting myself in, Pete was once again at his desk. I greeted him, waving, before I went to the closet where the door was open and the light was on. Stopping in the doorway, I leaned against it as I crossed my arms.
"Picking up where I left off?" I smiled.
"Morning." Rosita smiled back. "Your system is very straightforward and since I'm to help out too, I thought I'd just jump in. You got pretty far yesterday. You're making me look bad."
Laughing, I leaned my head against the doorframe, "I'm very motivated when it comes to my job."
"I can tell."
"I'll get started in the main room then if you're okay to keep going in here." I told her. "I want to draw out a diagram for it as well. Just let me know when the initial inventory is done. Then I want to reorganize and label everything."
"Overachieve much?" She smiled.
"Are you telling me it's a bad idea?" I countered.
She just smiled for a long moment, "Of course not. I'm just jealous that I hadn't thought of it first."
Laughing, I nodded, "I do like using my brain."
Going back into the main room, I rearranged a few things before pulling a standing table toward me, taking the tray from it and used it as I started to figure out where I wanted everything to go. It was all in my head but trying to make it a reality was something completely different.
Balls of paper were littering the floor when Jessie appeared again with lunch. We talked and laughed and she helped me reorganize my thoughts. She was smart and the fresh eyes were appreciated. Even Rosita added her opinion and before Jessie left, we had a pretty good idea of how it should be set up. Pete had done fine, but he was no designer. He knew medicine like the back of his hand, but the rest of it was a little foreign to him.
We were just talking when there was the sound of yelling from outside. Looking at Rosita, it took all of one second to rush from the room, racing toward the gates where people were starting to gather. Not stopping, I raced to where Daryl was on top of Nicholas.
"Daryl!" I yelled gripping him.
He shoved me, making me land hard on the ground. Then Rick was there, pulling him off. Carl was to me a second later, helping me to my feet. Aiden had a bloody nose from being hit by Glenn, and Nicholas was cowering away from Daryl.
"What the hell?" I said as I looked between all the men. "What's going on?" I asked Glenn. He shook his head at me.
"I want everyone to hear me, okay?" Deanna called to everyone who had gathered. "Rick and his people are part of this community now in all ways as equals. Understood?"
She looked at Aiden, who nodded, "Understood."
"All of you, turn in your weapons. Then you two come talk to me." She told Aiden and Nicholas. Then she was looking at Rick, "I told you I had a job for you. I'd like you to be our constable. That's what you were. That's what you are. And you, too." She said and looked at Michonne, then Rick again. "Will you accept?"
"Okay." He nodded at her.
Michonne looked proud, "Yeah, I'm in."
Then Deanna was smiling at Glenn, "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For knocking him on his ass."
He nodded at her before walking away. Maggie was smiling after him. Looking between everyone, I stepped next to Rick. He met my eyes, nodding at me. Nodding back, I put my hand against his side, gently rubbing it. He smiled and pressed a kiss to my forehead before he walked away.
The following morning, I sat on the bed, watching Rick watch the uniform in front of him as if something was going to happen. He looked uneasy but this was who he was before the world had ended. This is what he knew and he was good at it. It may not have ended well but it was still a part of who he was. He couldn't ignore it. It was probably the reason he was such a good leader. He'd been leading the people for years.
"Just put it on, baby." I smiled at him.
He smirked and did as he was told. I stood and went to him, helping him button up the shirt. He looked pretty damn official now. Helping him into the jacket, I smoothed it over his shoulder blades and he turned to look at me.
"Well?" He asked opening his arms to me.
"I think you look sexy." I replied and slid my arms between the jacket and his shirt. "I am so turned on right now."
We laughed before he started to kiss me, making me all warm and happy. It ended too soon though and he took my hand as we headed downstairs. All eyes were on him but he simply nodded and moved toward the porch. I stopped in the doorway as he looked at Daryl who was outside. He looked anything but impressed by Rick's decision.
"We good?" Rick asked.
"Yeah." Daryl replied. "You a cop again?"
Rick nodded, "I'm trying it on for size."
Carol came out one of the other doors, "So we're staying?"
"I think we can start sleeping in our own homes. Settle in." Rick replied.
"Yay." I said swiftly wrapping my arms around him from behind. He put his arm across mine.
"If we get comfortable here, we let our guard down – this place is gonna make us weak." Carol stated.
"We won't." I frowned at her. "We know better."
"Carl said that." Rick told her. "But it's not gonna happen. We won't get weak. That's not in us anymore. We'll make it work. And if they can't make it…then we'll just take this place."
"Rick." I said quickly.
He turned and took my face in his hands, "I'm going to take a walk around the perimeter, check things out."
"Baby, please." I said sadly.
He kissed me slow and deep, whispering, "I love you."
"I love you." I whispered back.
Then he was down the steps and swiftly moving from sight. I looked at Daryl who looked about as happy as I did about what Rick had said. I wanted to make it work. But we couldn't simply enter a community and take it over if we didn't agree with them. That made us just as bad as those who we fought to get here. It couldn't be that way anymore. But I knew that once he put his mind to something then that was the way it was going to be. I just had to be extremely passive aggressive to get him to change his mind. I'd do what I had to do to protect our family.