Beautiful Disaster

by My Writing Is This

The dead were walking and surviving was imperative. Caroline had hit the ground running. She tried to never look back. She was alone for too long. Learning to live and love again wasn't easy. People still mattered. Many would come in and out of her life and not all was as it seemed. She had to learn to be a person again and to find her place. And the one she was meant to be with.

48. To Make a Plan

Chapter Forty-eight: To Make a Plan

Standing on Deanna's porch, the planning was heavily underway. There was a lot that needed to be done before we could even consider going through with what Rick had proposed. There was no room for error and the more we talked and discussed and even argued, the more kinks could be ironed out and failure would be less likely.

"Marshall and Redding. We force them west here." Rick said pointing on the map.

"How?" Deanna asked.

"We block it off so they can only go one way, west, away from the community." Rick replied.

"Block it off with what?" Carter asked. He'd insisted on helping and Rick welcomed him with open arms.

"Anything we can." I stated. "Cars. The RVs."

Rick nodded, "She's right. We'll use the RVs, some of the bigger trucks, park them end to end."

"We'll be drawing them away." Michonne added. "They're gonna keep moving."

"Yeah, but that many?" Carter asked. "Just bouncing off some sedans? And then when they start slipping through and the ones that walk away start distracting the rest and you stop drawing them away?"

"You're not helping." I frowned at him.

"Man's got a point." Heath added.

Looking at him, I sighed, "Still not helping."

There were steps and Eugene appeared, looking like he had something to say. "We got plates. The big-ass metal ones from the construction site." He told us. "We can use them to fortify the whip wall. It'll help disperse the force of impact and direct the walkers clean. Like a pool table. Eight ball, corner pocket."

"That's…actually helpful." I replied. He smirked and kept his eyes on me. "And now you're being creepy." I added. His smirk disappeared and he looked down.

"That's an army out there." Carter stated. "And what happens when this doesn't hold? And they push on through. The curve in this hillside is gonna send them right back east. Right back here. You seriously want to risk that?"

"No." Morgan piped up. "So you need to help us to make it hold. These walls, you built them. So you've already done the impossible."

"Carter. Please." Deanna stated.

Spending several hours going over the details that might help us execute our plan, when we finally made it home, I was exhausted and a little on the ornery side. Getting ready for bed, Rick and I were quiet. I didn't know what to say. My mind was going through everything over and over again, looking for the gaps in the plan. Trying to think of something that could go wrong so it wouldn't go wrong.

"What are you thinking?" He asked as we folded the covers back. Shaking my head, I just sighed at him. "Does that mean you're mad about it or you just don't know what to think of it?"

"A little bit of both?" I offered. He frowned and nodded. "Not mad, really. I'm worried. I think that if even one thing goes wrong then we'll be in a fight of our lives. Again. I'm so sick and tired of fighting and being afraid. I'm sick of feeling like we can't get ahead in this fucked up world. I am just…tired, Rick."

"Good thing we're going to bed then." He smirked.

Smiling, I shook my head at him, "Not quite what I meant."

"I know." He said softly.

Meeting in the middle as we both climbed in, I kissed him, putting my hand against his face. "I kind of love you, you know."

He chuckled lightly, "I do know. I kind of love you, too."

Lying down, we had a good old fashioned make out session, loving the feel of him. "Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm madly in love with you." I added and laughed lightly.

"Good." He said brushing my hair over my shoulder. "Because I'm positive that I'm madly in love with you."

"You sure?" I asked him. He frowned at me. "Not that I'm implying anything or anything. I just…I want you to be sure."

He smiled, brushing his nose against mine, "I'm sure, Linny. I've been sure for a long time now."

Smiling, I kissed him passionately, "I love you."

Running my hand down his bare chest, his hand disappeared under the fabric of my tank, pressing it against my back. Sliding my hand further down, I reached his boxers, grinning at him mischievously. He grinned back before his mouth invaded mine. Rolling on top of me, I struggled with his boxers as he pulled me up, taking the tank from me before reaching for my underwear. Shuddering at his touch, I used my foot to force the fabric from him as his hand moved between my legs. My breath was ragged as he pushed his fingers up inside of me. He just smiled and kissed me passionately.

Reaching my hand back down, I gripped him, massaging him until he was hard in my hand. As he moved his fingers in and out of me, my body was on fire with wanting for him. He had me right where he wanted me, covering my hand with his as he positioned himself before taking my hand from him so he could push inside of me. He took both my hands, lacing our fingers as he pressed them into the bed. His mouth once again invaded mine as he rocked against me. I had to admit that we'd gotten much better at this. Something that I wanted to keep getting better and better at. I wanted to stay in our bedroom bubble for as long as possible.

As soon as dawn broke, everyone was up and moving, executing the plan that had been laid out. Thanks to Tobin and the construction crew, panels had been brought, posts being buried so we could attach them to something. Cars were being lined up. Everyone was there helping. It was a sight to see. Rick and I made sure that we were pulling our weight, knowing that we couldn't just stand and wait for them to do what we were asking of them.

"This is kind of amazing." I smiled as we worked.

He chuckled, "If we can pull it off."

"Don't start talking like that now." I told him firmly. "We're all counting on you."

"Even you?" He asked.

Laughing lightly, I leaned over and kissed him softly, "You know I can take care of myself. But yes, baby, I am counting on you. I'm counting on you to be okay."

He kissed me again, "I will be. But you need to be okay, too. Don't do anything reckless."

Grinning mischievously as him, I brushed my nose against his, "I promise nothing."

He kissed me deeply; making me put my hand against his face. Then I was shoved into the ditch, rolling into it before moving onto my knees. Looking up, Daryl was smiling down at me, Rick laughing.

"Not funny." I said brushing my knees off as I stood. Going back up the hill, Daryl held his hand out to me. Hitting it away from me, I took Rick's as he held his out as well, allowing him to pull me into his side. "Jerk."

He just smiled at me. Getting back to work, Daryl was hovering, a serious expression crossing his face. "Hey, what you said before about us needing to take care of ourselves?" He said looking at Rick. "Going out finding more people, that is taking care of ourselves." He paused. "Your call, though."

He nodded at me before walking away. Looking at Rick, I sighed, "He's not wrong."

"I figured you of all people would support me in that. You're usually harder to win over."

"We need people, Rick. What's the point of a community if we don't save people and give them a better life. I'm all for screening processes and making sure that we don't let anyone dangerous in, but I need to believe that people can come back. I did."

He nodded, "You did. I just don't want our home destroyed from the inside."

"The only way that'll happen is if those walkers get out and get into Alexandria. And what we're doing is going to prevent that."

"Hey." Carol said coming up with water. "Here." She said handing Rick a cup before me. "How you holding up?" She asked me.

"Fine." I nodded. "Thank you."

Rick nodded, "Thanks."

"You know, I can come with all of you." She stated. "You and Daryl have been teaching me how to shoot."

Smiling, shaking my head, Rick did the same, sighing, "I think you got the hang of it." I laughed lightly, all of us smiling at each other. Our eyes moved over everyone, watching them work. "You should stay back, get a feel for how people feel now. We still got a long way to go with them."

Bowing my head, I couldn't help the sudden emotion that hit me. Reg flashing behind my eyes. The expression he had made. Glenn beaten and shot. Nicolas. All of it was still so fresh, lying just underneath the surface.

"We'll get there. She's in charge. But you're in charge now." Carol replied.

Rick tugged at the bandage on his hand. I took it, adjusting it just a little. Carol moved on and Rick and I started to work again. Though my eyes drifted to our family, watching and worrying about what was to come. I couldn't help myself. After losing so many people, knowing what was out there and what might be coming for us, I couldn't help but be terrified to lose anyone else.

"Hey." Maggie said, making me start and look at her.

"Hey." I smiled.

"Where were you?" She asked.

Sighing, I turned toward her, "I don't want to lose anyone else."

She smiled, "We won't. That's why we're doing this. To keep us all alive and safe."

Nodding, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I just worry is all."

"I know." She smiled. "You look out for us. One of the things I love most about you."

Smiling again, I hugged her, "You always make everything better. One of the things I love most about you." Letting her go, I did a double-take as I saw Deanna watching us. "Deanna." I said softly, moving toward her.

As soon as I was within reach, she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "Thank you."

"For what?" I asked as she let me go.

"For being a friend to Reg." She replied. "For reminding him of our life before all this."

I smiled and nodded, "Of course. He was a good man."

She started to move toward Rick, "The best. You and Rick remind me of us when we were just beginning. Don't let him go, Caroline. He's one of the good ones."

I grinned at him, "He really is." He did a double-take as we reached him. "Hey, babe."

He smiled, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

"Nope." I replied. "Just your face."

He smiled and shook his head. Then his smile fell as he looked at Deanna, "I haven't had a chance to say it yet, but uh, I'm sorry about Reg. He was smart and kind. He was a good man. It was the right call. We need this."

We watched the metal sheets being secured.

"What else?" She asked him. "You need to tell me."

She was ready to take him seriously. To listen to everything he had already tied to tell her.

"People need to be armed inside the walls. They need to be trained, everyone." He told her, stopping as twigs snapped. We all looked at the woods. Deanna moved to check it out but Rick stopped her. "Stop. Here they come. Carter, heads up."

Keeping my eyes on the woods, two walkers came from the trees.

"Hey." Rick said, pausing as Daryl brought up his crossbow. Morgan stepped forward as well. "Use your shovels. The guns will draw more."

Carter looked like he was starting to panic, "Help us."

"You can do this." I told him.

"You need to, all of you." Rick added.

Michonne moved to my side, "They're not ready."

"Nope." I replied as we watched Rick coach them on how to handle the walkers.

They were all super uneasy as the walkers reached them. They were clumsy and uncoordinated. One was shoving and kicking a walker away from him. Carter's knife was out and for a second I thought he was ready for them. Only then more came out of the woods and Morgan darted forward to help them.

"Morgan, don't! Shit!" He called, knowing that it was time to step in.

Pulling my knife out, Michonne her sword, we rushed forward and helped take out the walkers. It was effortless. We were so used to it that it was second nature. With or without weapons, killing walkers was something we'd become so used to and good at, that it was extremely discouraging. I thought I was worried about this before, now I was second guessing it all over again.

"You said you don't take chances anymore." Morgan told Rick.

Rick looked at Carter who was giving him a heavy glare. They needed to learn. That's all that Rick was trying to do. They needed to know how to take them down or they wouldn't make it very long. Not while doing this job and not if walkers ever made it into Alexandria.

Finishing the day in silence, when we finally returned home, Rick looked at me with a knowing expression. I nodded, knowing that we definitely needed to talk. Going to Maggie and Glenn, I gathered them, telling them to go next door. Moving to get everyone else, I noticed Eugene who was looking more suspicious than usual. Frowning, I followed him to the pantry. He was filling his arms with food.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I was just…" He started and trailed off.

I rolled my eyes at him, motioning for him to move, "Let's go."

Only before we could leave, voices caught my ears, making me frown. Eugene gently tugged on my sleeve but I was already moving toward the sound. He followed me, his arms still full of food. It was coming from the armory.

"Time is running out. He's talking about a dry run tomorrow. That's it." Carter was saying with a hard tone.

"Rick stopped Pete. He stopped him." Olivia told him.

"Let's go." Eugene whispered. I shot him a look. "Sorry." He said and bowed his head.

"This is not taking out a wife-beater." Carter replied.

"He was a murderer, Carter." Tobin stated.

Crossing my arms, I scoffed as I listened. Rick wanted Carol to feel out how they felt now about what was happening. I thought a lot of them were on our side only now I was starting to think that we needed to worry more than we thought.

"What Rick wants to do is suicide." Carter went on. "I'm sorry, Spencer, but Deanna is asleep at the wheel. So it's on us. We have got to stop him. What the priest said about him, about these people, he was right. How many more of us have to die before we do something? 'Cause pretty soon it's gonna be too late."

You sorry son of a bitch. I thought, wanting to take him down right now.

"Carter, you need to be really careful here. You're talking about us going to Deanna and telling her –" Olivia told him only to have him cut her off.

"No, I'm not talking about talking some more. About meetings. I'm not talking about that. Plain and simple, we kill him before he kills us."

Eugene dropped a jar, listening to it shatter against the floor. Looking at him, he flew back, and I turned back to see a gun pointed at my face. Sighing, I took in Spencer and Francine. The only two who hadn't put their too sense in.

"Hello." I smiled at him.

"Carter." Tobin stated.

"They heard." Carter stated.

Eugene started to stammer from the floor, "I didn't. I mean, I didn't –"

"Carter." Tobin repeated.

Carter repeated his response, "They heard."

He clicked the hammer and I actually thought he might shoot us. "What are you going to do, Carter? You think you can kill us? If you do, Rick will kill you without mercy. You're only hurting yourself if you do this. Just give me the gun." I held my hand out only to see his hand starting to shake. "Don't do it, Carter."

"Carter, don't. You can't." Olivia told him.

Only before anything else could be done, the door opened as Rick, Daryl and Morgan came in. They had been talking only now they froze, looking at me and Eugene, then everyone else in the room that were officially uneasy.

"What the hell is going on? What are you doing?" Rick asked Carter.

"I'm taking this place back from you." He replied.

I scoffed and shook my head.

Rick looked at everyone, "That's what you were talking about in here?"

"That's what he was talking about." Spencer said throwing him under the bus.

"See, I would have – I would have set up some lookouts." Rick told him. "That would have been the smart thing. You know if I happened to –" He cut himself off as he lurched forward and took the gun from Carter, kicking his knees out so he fell to the ground. He clicked the hammer as he aimed it at the back of Carter's head. "You really think you're gonna take this community from us? From Glenn? From Michonne? From Daryl? From Caroline? From me? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?"

I couldn't help but smile. I loved that man.

"It was just me." Carter stated.

"What?" Rick asked.

"It was – it was just me. Just – just kill me." Carter stammered.

Watching Rick, I knew that he was contemplating it. No one was stopping him and I was mentally telling him to do it. Though Daryl was looking uneasy. He didn't want to kill anyone. We needed people and killing them wouldn't win Rick any points. At this point, I didn't care. Kill him. Kill him now.

"Rick." Daryl said.

"I'm good." Rick said coolly as he put the hammer back in place. "I'm good." He handed the gun to Daryl. "You can try to work with us. You can try to survive. Would you do that?" He asked Carter.

"Yes." Carter replied.

"Good." Rick stated. "Now prove it." He stepped aside and everyone filed out, leaving the five of us standing there. "You okay?" He asked stepping up to me.

"Of course." I smiled.

"He coulda shot you." Daryl stated.

I nodded, "He could've, but he didn't. I would have done something before that happened. You just had good timing." He shook his head. Sighing, I wrapped my arm around him. "You know I can handle myself."

"I do." He nodded, pressing his face into my hair.

"She's fine." Rick smiled.

Smiling at him, I nodded, "I am."

"Now what?" Eugene asked.

Looking at him, he looked nervous. "We keep the plan in motion. We don't have time to postpone."

"Even though people are attempting to kill you?" Eugene asked Rick.

He nodded, "You heard her."

"What were you coming here for?" I asked him.

"We wanted to go through the armory inventory again." He replied. "Wanted to make sure we were ready."

"No meeting?"

"The others are gathering." He nodded. "You disappeared and then I wanted to do this before we talked."

"What are we gonna do with Carter?" I asked next.

He shook his head, "He'll prove himself or he'll suffer the consequences."

Nodding, I gently pulled on his shirt, "I'll see you back at the house."

He smiled, kissing my cheek, "Okay."

Going home, everyone was gathered in the living room. Walking around the couch, Glenn moved so I could sit between Maggie and Michonne. He sat on the arm of the couch next to his wife, everyone eagerly waiting for whatever Rick wanted to say. Eugene was already there and I could only assume he'd already filled everyone in about what Carter had said and done.

"It's fine." I told Maggie as she took my hand, a small smile on her face. "Nothing happened."

"What's Rick gonna do about it?" Michonne asked.

"As of right now, nothing." I stated.

"So what's this meeting about?" Abraham asked.

"I don't know." I smiled at him.

"You don't know?" He frowned back.

I frowned back at him, "I don't know everything, Abe." He smirked but didn't say anything. "Screw this." I said and got up. "I'm hungry. Who's wants to eat?"

"I do." Eugene piped up and held his hand up.

Looking around the room, they nodded. "I'm not cooking alone. Everyone helps." I said and pulled Maggie from the couch.

Going to the kitchen, I turned on music, smiling before looking in the fridge and freezer for something good to cook. Carol came in and opened a cupboard, pulling down a packet. Smiling, I nodded at her. Getting down to business, veggies were passed around, chicken was being thawed, and water was being boiled. Nearly the last of the chicken. I'd been saving it and now was as any to use it. With the dry run happening tomorrow, we needed the pick me up. We also needed a few hours of fun before we went on what could potentially be a one-way mission. We had been seriously lacking in the fun department as of late.

By the time Rick and the others got home, the food was ready, a bottle of wine had been opened, and our family was happily talking and laughing as we ate, drank, and just enjoyed each other. It happened so rarely, making it that much more necessary. After a few glasses, I turned up the music, starting to dance around the room, Maggie joining me before I was gripped and spun, laughter pouring out of me as Abe spun me around the room. I attempted to get Rick to dance with me but he wouldn't, choosing to just watch, keeping my wine company. Fun that felt so good and yet I knew that it couldn't last.

"You looked like you were having fun tonight." Rick commented as we got ready for bed.

I nodded at him, "You and I need to have more fun."

He smiled, "We have fun."

Laughing lightly, I nodded again, feeling heat in my cheeks, "We do. In that area we have a lot of fun. But I'm talking the normal kind of fun. Fun like with the cows."

He sighed, nodding, "There is so much going on right now."

"All the more reason to have some fun." I replied.

He stopped and looked at me, "Are we okay?"

"What?" I frowned at him, straightening.

"You seem happier with everyone else." He replied.

"Rick, that's ridiculous." I frowned at him.

"We have the dry run tomorrow. I don't want to go to bed with questions."

Frowning harder, I sighed, erasing it from my face before I crawled onto the bed, dropping my ass between my legs. "Come here."

He crawled to me, dropping onto his stomach as he put his head in my lap. Wrapping my arm around him, I started to run my fingers through his hair. I could feel his unease. Running my nails down his back, I smiled, leaning down and buried my face in his face. Taking a deep breath of him, I brushed my lips against his cheek.

"Rick, you don't have to worry about us." I told him softly. "I am in love with you. I'm with you in everything. I am yours."

"I feel like I'm disappointing you."

"Baby, no." I frowned, pushing on his shoulders so he propped himself up. Taking his head in my hands, I stared at him. "You could never disappoint me."

"I've been extremely preoccupied."

"With good reason."

"I'm doing this for everyone."

"You don't have to explain it to me. I get it. I'm with you no matter what."

"Even if it's at the cost of spending time with you?"

Smiling, I nodded, "There will be plenty of time for that when this is all over. We need to do this. To save everyone."

He smiled before he pushed himself up, his lips finding mine. Grinning, I let him put me on my back, moving over me as his lips moved urgently with mine. He leaned away, brushing his nose against mine.

"I love you." He told me. "Don't ever think otherwise."

"I know, Rick." I replied. "I love you. Always."

Then he was kissing me again.

The sun was starting to set when we finally finished. Rick and I were splayed in bed, happy with how the evening had gone. Who wouldn't be happy after what we'd done? I loved him. No matter what was going on or how neglected I might feel, he was doing what he had to do and I couldn't fault him for that. And I didn't feel neglected. He was still there every night. He still touched me. He kissed me. Even if he wasn't big on any public displays of affection. Even if he was so preoccupied with everything else going on. We were together in this. Whatever he needed I would be. I would do anything for him. He deserved everything.

"Hey, sweetie." I told Carl as I pressed a kiss into his hair.

"Hey, Mom." He replied.

"How you doing?" I asked him.

"I want to be a part of this." He told me with a hard tone.

Smiling, I pressed a kiss against his forehead, "Too bad. You stay here with your sister." He just sighed at me. "I know." I said softly as I brushed his bangs from his eyes. "You know I love you, right?"

He met my eyes, smirking as he pressed his head against mine, "Right."

"Good." I smiled.

"I love you, too." He replied.

"I know."

"I just want to be there for you." He added. "To protect you."

Smiling wider at him, I ran my fingers through his hair, "I appreciate that more than I can say. But we both know I can handle myself."

He nodded, "Doesn't mean you should."

Then I felt Rick against my back, pressing his face into my neck, "I'll take care of you."

Smiling, I turned my head, meeting the blue of his eyes, "I love you."

"I love you." He said starting to kiss me with more passion then he usually did outside the bedroom.

"You two are adorable." Carol smiled.

Grinning, I nodded, "I'm aware."

Judith started to cry and Rick picked her up, bouncing her as he held her against his chest. Smiling as I watched them, there was a noise from the porch, making him move toward the door. Opening it, Morgan was sitting on the steps, polishing his staff. Smiling, I knew that their reconnection was a good thing. More for Morgan than for Rick, but the man needed something to live for. He needed purpose. Rick could give him that.

"Here." Carol said handing me a cup of coffee.

"Thank you." I smiled before looking at Rick and Morgan again.

"I don't trust him." Carol told me.

Sighing, I nodded, "I'm stuck in the middle."

"Rick needs to be careful."

Frowning at her, I nodded, "I'll take care of him."

She smiled, "I know, Linny. I trust you."

"I trust you, too." I smiled at her.

But if she was worried than my worry was only going to double. Moving toward the door, I leaned against the frame of it as I silently watched and listened.

"It's nice out." Morgan offered him.

Rick looked around, "Yeah."

"Hope you don't mind. I wanted to enjoy the evening a little and I don't have a porch over there, so…"

Rick tossed him the keys to the house. "Get your stuff. You should stay with us over here."

"You got room?"

"We'll make it. We don't need to do that anymore. I know you, Morgan. Even if this is the first time." Rick told him with certainty. "You want to hold her?"

My body instinctively jerked. It was slight but it was something, making me need to take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Morgan was a father. I knew that Judith would be safe with him. At the same time I wanted to snatch her from him and whisk her away.

"Okay."

"This is Morgan." Rick told her as he handed her over to him. "He's a friend of mine."

For a second my stomach turned, only then I saw the expression on his face. Could hear the affection he had when he spoke to her. It made me want to know him before the world ended. I was sure he was a good man. A loving husband and father. He was better than what this world had made him become.

"Hey. Hi. Okay." He said as they sat on the steps. "Let me have a look at you. Hey, hey. Hey, hey." He said as she looked at him. Then he was looking at Rick, a knowing expression crossing his face. "You with that man Carter in the armory – that's you. You're still the same man I met in King County. The one that came back and told me it wasn't over. That was you. Same you that's right in front of me right now."

Rick paused before he replied, "I wanted to kill him. So it would be easier. So I wouldn't have to worry about how he could screw up or what stupid thing he'd do next because that's who he is. Just somebody who shouldn't be alive now." He paused again, sighing. "I wanted to kill him. But all that hit me and…I realized I didn't have to do it. He doesn't get it. Somebody like that… They're gonna die no matter what."

Feeling an arm press against the back of mine, I turned my head to meet Michonne, smiling at me. Smiling back, I nodded, leaning my head against hers. She sighed and leaned into me further. Deciding that watching them would get me nowhere, I moved toward the door, letting myself out.

"I'm gonna head to the infirmary." I told Rick, running my hand across Judith's hair. "Check on things before we head out."

He nodded, "Play nice with Denise."

I stopped and turned to him with furrowed brows, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

He smiled, "I know you're not thrilled about her taking over Pete's place."

"I'm more qualified than she is if we're talking about experience. She has no idea what she's doing." I replied. They all were looking at me awkwardly. "What?" I asked. Then a throat cleared and I sighed, turning to look at Denise. "Hello."

"Hi." She replied. "I was just coming to get you to see if you wouldn't mind putting some sutures in a leg. Mine don't compare with yours."

My stomach turned with guilt and I nodded, gently playing with my fingers, "I'm sorry."

"I know I'm not cut out for this. I do know that." She told me. "But I'm going to do the best that I can. I'll read and I'll learn. I can do this."

"I know." I told her as I started to move toward the infirmary.

There was a long awkward pause before she sighed, "You don't like me very much, do you?"

Sighing, I stopped and turned toward her, "It's not that I don't like you, Denise. I just think a lot is riding on someone with knowledge and no experience."

"How about we come to an agreement." She stated. "I read and you do."

Smiling, I took a step toward her, "I have to admit that I don't take orders well. It's been a long time since I've had to worry about them and coming from you just makes me want to laugh."

"Caroline." Michonne scolded.

"Sorry." I said raising my hands.

"Don't you take orders from Rick?" Denise asked.

I frowned at her, taking a step toward her, "Not in the way you make it sound."

"Linny doesn't take orders from me." Rick stated as he moved toward us. "Just…play nice."

Both of us looked at each other before sighing, nodding at him. Moving toward the infirmary, I stepped inside to see Spencer there, reeking of alcohol. Sighing, I stepped up to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. He smirked up at me but I could see right through it. I recognized the look that was on his face.

"I'm sorry, Spencer." I told him softly. "I'm so sorry about your father."

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Do you want lidocaine?" I asked.

"No."

"Okay."

"He should have lidocaine." Denise stated.

I glanced as Spencer before I looked at her, "I asked and he said no. He gets a say in it. It's his body."

"And if he flinches?"

"Then it'll hurt and probably scar more. But it's still his decision." I retorted. "Not only that but we don't get to order more. What we do have should be saved for something more serious. Don't you think?"

She sighed and nodded. Smiling at Spencer, I took out what I would need, pulling a stool up next to him. "This is going to hurt like hell. I'm hoping you have enough alcohol left in your system to help with the pain."

He laughed, "I think we'll be okay."

Smiling, I got down to business, keeping up small talk as I started to suture him. He winced the first few, only then he seemed to expect it, relaxing against the pillow. He wasn't very chatty but it didn't matter. I could talk the ear off of anyone. I can always find something to say. Even during the moments that were silent, he was quiet. So was Denise.

"All done." I smiled at him, running my thumbs along the edges of the bandage.

He rolled over, "Thank you."

Standing up, I ran my fingers through his hair, "Get some rest." He was asleep seconds later.

"Shouldn't we send him home?" Denise asked.

"No." I replied. "He needs to rest and he can't do that in the home where his father lived. Too many memories. Too many familiar sights and sounds. He needs somewhere that isn't a constant reminder of his father."

"Yeah." She said and went to the corner with a book and sat down. Cleaning up, I crossed my arms as I turned to her, trying to think of something to say. "You don't have to say anything." She added without looking at me. "You can go."

Sighing, I rolled my eyes before leaving her. I wasn't a dramatic person. I didn't like drama. I didn't want to be drawn into it. At the same time, I was a woman. It seemed inevitable that some sort of drama found me. With only so many things to do around here, tensions were bound to rise. I knew that she didn't want to just sit around and do nothing. She wanted to help. That's all that I wanted to do too. I couldn't figure out why I didn't like her.

"All I'm asking is for you to give her a chance." Tara told me as she helped me set the table for dinner. "Why is that so hard?"

"I don't know." I told her honestly. "I just…" I sighed, dropping my shoulders. "I don't know, Tara."

"You gave me a chance." She stated.

"That was different." I replied. "You saved Glenn. He vouched for you and that means the world to me."

"Ah, thanks." Glenn said and nudged me as he passed.

Smiling at him, I saw Tara's sad expression. "I'll try." I told her. "That's all I can do. I will try to like her."

"Thank you."

"Only for you."

She smiled, "I appreciate it."

I nodded, smiling at her, "I know."

We all talked and ate and laughed, enjoying the night before we had to work tomorrow. An odd notion but it was true. We had work to do. Despite it just being a dry run, no one wanted to admit it but even though it wasn't happening tomorrow, we were all as anxious as if it were. No one knew what to expect and there were things that needed to be done before we actually went through with it. The walls were up and secure. The roads had been lined. We were ready, but all of us would feel a lot better once we physically went through it a couple times. It was definitely better to be safe than sorry.

Going to bed alone, it was some time before I heard steps on the stairs, the door cracking open before there was shifting on the bed. Smiling, ready to be warmed by my amazing boyfriend, I shrieked as a cold foot pressed against my back. Quickly rolling over, for a second all I could see was white teeth.

"Michonne." I smiled and hit her. "What are you doing?"

"I was definitely not planning on getting frisky with you." She declared.

Laughing, I relaxed, "What's going on?"

"Rick and Daryl are still up going over things." She replied.

"They need to sleep." I frowned.

She nodded, getting settled in, "They will."

Talking for a while, we tried to wait for Rick. He was taking his sweet ass time, both of us finding it hard to keep our eyes open. I couldn't wait for him. If he hadn't come up yet, I knew that it would still be some time before he finally came to bed. I had wanted his warmth; only I was still warm nestled against Michonne. Still comforted and happy even without him next to me.