A/N: I'm on a bit of a roll this week, so you guys get one more chapter!

Chapter Twelve

Questions

Erebor exceeded all my expectations. Admittedly, I wasn't entirely sure what they were, but regardless I was beyond amazed. An entire kingdom carved out of stone in a mountain! I could never have imagined such a thing and nor have I heard of anything like it. There were certainly no such structures back in my world and if I ever got back, nobody would believe me. Then of course there were the dwarves or dwarrow as I was told they were also called. In my head, the dwarves I knew of back home were nothing like these dwarves and I was quite ashamed of my own prejudices. They were short in stature yes, but one thing that became instantly clear to me was that they were a proud people. Proud and incredibly friendly, contrary to Thranduil's opinion. To him, dwarves were antagonists but over the past few days, I had found quite the opposite. Upon observing how Maggie interacted with Fili and the other dwarves of Erebor, it was clear to me how much family mattered to them. All dwarrow-kin were family, even if you weren't necessarily related by blood.

The first few days of our stay was a lot of introductions and I had a feeling I would certainly be mixing up a lot of the dwarves. Maggie introduced me not only to Fili and their daughter Eira, but also to her oldest child - Theo. Back in Mirkwood, she told me that at one point Maggie and her brother had been pulled out of Middle-Earth against their will and spent a year in our world before being cast back into Middle-Earth. In that time, 60 years had passed and so her son was now a grown man. I had to admit it was rather a shock because Theo himself was nearly 70 in dwarf years, yet looked as if he was perhaps in his early 30s, just like his mother. Theo also had a child of his own, with one of Maggie's friends - Nat, a girl who was also from our world. From what I understood, Theo's father was called Thorin Oakenshield and during Maggie's first journey in Middle-Earth, she and her brother had helped Thorin and his company of dwarves reclaim Erebor from a terrible dragon. Unfortunately, Thorin died in battle and never got to see the birth of his son and while Maggie was absent from Middle-Earth, Theo was raised by Fili and Elrond.

It was all a bit overwhelming at first but when I eventually got used to my new surroundings and seeing so many new faces, I was excited. Erebor was breathtaking and filled with vast tunnels to explore and mines where dwarves worked tirelessly day in and day out. There was a whole economic system that I just hadn't comprehended before and it made me realise the true size of Middle-Earth and that the places I had seen was just a fraction of it. For the first time in months, I felt a sudden hunger for exploration and I wanted to see more. I enjoyed Mirkwood but Mirkwood was so different from these other amazing places. Maggie introduced me to a kind old dwarf called Óin, who had also been part of Thorin's company. He spoke passionately about Rivendell, which was Elrond's home and how magnificent it was and that if opportunity should present itself, I definitely needed to visit.

After a couple of days, the initial apprehension between Thranduil and the dwarves eased off and he even began to relax. Young Eira had taken such a liking to the elvenking that she'd hardly left his side since our arrival. A fact that surprised everyone, even Thranduil himself and also myself. I wasn't sure what I expected, but his gentle nature with children was also a surprise. No matter how many times Eira pestered him with questions and tugged at his robe for attention or climbed into his lap without consent at dinner, Thranduil made no unpleasant remarks or complained. Instead, he embraced it and allowed Eira her curiosity. Sometimes, I even saw a smile tug at his lips when he thought nobody else noticed. Thranduil's way with Eira also seemed to have softened Maggie and Fili's interaction with him. The other day, Fili approached Thranduil and invited him to sit in on a council meeting where his opinions on a particular matter would be greatly valued.

Erebor wasn't just the mountain though, there were areas outside the mountain with sort of an orchard where I was told Bombur grew apples used for the Yuletide mead.

This was the first Christmas I would be spending alone without Charlie and I had been dreading it all year. Now, a bit of excitement was beginning to stir inside me, even though I had no idea what Christmas - or Yule rather - entailed in Middle-Earth. Did people give and receive gifts? Was I expected to give them as well? If that was the case, I was in trouble because I had nothing to give. Besides, what could I possibly offer that could equate to all the wonders of this world? Maybe I could pick Maggie's brain about it at some point. I wanted to give Thranduil a gift as a way to show gratitude for hospitality and kindness. I was surprised to find myself a little disappointed at the lack of time I'd been able to spend with him. I'd hope that this visit to Erebor would be a way for us to get to know each other a little better.

Of course I didn't buy into the reason for my presence in Middle-Earth. Even if the Valar did exist, it was ridiculous to assume they had sent me for the purpose Elrond suggested. I was a healer by profession, but I couldn't heal someone who didn't want my help. Chances were that if I forced my help on Thranduil, he would respond by pushing me away, which appeared to be the way he responded to things he did not want to deal with.

Strangely enough, I didn't want him to push me away. I finally felt like we were making real progress in our friendship...if you could call it that. I actually even enjoyed his company. Sometimes, at dinner or other social occasions like in one of the great libraries, I caught him looking at me. Sometimes, his eyes were filled with a simple and centered calm as he stirred a chalice of whatever he happened to be drinking at the time. Sometimes, it was with curiosity as if he was trying to understand me. Then, when somebody spoke or said his name, the moment was broken and all returned to normal, except I was left with a strange fluttering sensation in my heart.

It was ridiculous of course.

I was a grown woman, not some schoolgirl who couldn't control her emotions. I had only known true love once and that was the man I thought I would marry. After Charlie died, I'd sworn to myself that I would never love anyone again. Doing so would betray his memory and that was the last thing I wanted.

Yet, Thranduil played on my mind and it bothered me deeply. I couldn't even quite put my finger on what it was, but seeing him actually trying to enjoy the company of others instead of wallowing in his own self-pity and misery made me see him in another light.

At dinner a couple of hours ag, Eira had once again climbed onto his lap and demanded all of his attention, like children often did. Usually, she would go back to her mother or fathers, but this time she fell asleep in Thranduil's arms. Maggie offered to take her daughter to bed, but Thranduil told her to stay and that he would be delighted to tuck Eira into bed. Even I was surprised when neither Fili nor Maggie objected to his offer. I supposed being married and having royal duties meant that there wasn't always as much time available to spend with each other and I could tell that even Fili was grateful as he gave Thranduil a thankful nod.

It was obvious that Fili loved his wife and that Maggie very much loved her husband. At first, her arrangement between Elrond and Fili seemed strange to me, but after having spent the past week in their company it was nothing but natural. However, I did catch a bit of tension lingering in the air and while I didn't necessarily think Thranduil was the cause of it, his presence was certainly a part of it. More than anything, it was a case of tension between Fili and Elrond, but I didn't think it was anything to do with jealousy regarding Maggie. This was something else. Elrond struck me as a calm and collected elf who seldom lost his cool, but on one occasion I'd heard him have rather a loud argument with Fili and the following day I'd heard similar loud voices between Maggie and Fili.

That's why I wasn't all too surprised when, following dinner, I heard a gentle sobbing echoing through the long corridor. It only took a few minutes after I followed the sound that I found Maggie, sitting on the edge overlooking the enormous treasure horde of the mountain. It was strange to think that a dragon had once kept this place hostage as his own kingdom and guarded its gold with fierce anger.

"Maggie? Whatever's the matter?" I asked carefully as I approached her "You've been arguing with Fili?"

"How do you know?" she sniffed "I'm so sorry, that's really insensitive of us."

"It is a mountain. It does echo."

A slight chuckle escaped Maggie's lips as she wiped the tears with the sleeve of her blue dresses. Her eyes were red from crying and her dress stained with the tears. I sat down next to her and passed her a handkerchief that I always kept on my person.

"Fili and I have been trying for another baby." Maggie admitted "Except it hasn't really been working out so far and these days it seems like we hardly have any time to spend together. Every time we try, something happens or there's an emergency or Eira wants out attention."

"And then a girl from the 1940s magically drops into your life from out of nowhere? Doesn't make it easier I bet."

We both laughed now and it seemed to ease her crying a little. Maggie was a strong woman, but she didn't strike me as somebody who so easily shared such deeply personal and intimate information with someone she barely knew. Nor did she strike me as somebody who let her guards down and cried easily. Her and Thranduil certainly had that in common and perhaps that was also why they were often at odds with each other.

"Please don't think any of this is on you. We love having you here and Eira adores you." Maggie said "It's just hard sometimes. This whole being a queen-wife-mother-partner thing. There's not exactly a manual for it and even though it's been so many years, I sometimes forget that Middle-Earth is so different from our world. Sometimes I miss it awfully and then I feel so guilty."

"Am I right in thinking that you and Elrond have not been having the same problems finding time for intimate moments?" I asked, aware that I was wading into territory that wasn't quite mine.

Maggie nodded. "Usually it's never a problem. Fili has never been jealous and I'm really lucky in that regard because, by and large our relationship is perfect. It's just different because Elrond can just decide to leave Rivendell for a few months at a time and leave it in the hands of Glorfindel or Erestor. Whereas here, it's not quite that simple. I just wish we had more time together with all three of us. Four of us with Eira, of course. So, my husband is angry with my partner, and my partner can't seem to understand why, which makes him frustrated with my husband." Maggie explained "And I am stuck in the middle trying to mediate between the two, so that Fili doesn't end up bringing down the whole damn mountain in rage."

I really felt for Maggie because her frustration was so clear. I wish I had better advice to offer, but I couldn't help but feel like I was out of my depth here.

"Theo is next in line to the throne isn't he?" I asked "Couldn't he help take the weight off you and Fili while you spend some time in Rivendell with Elrond? Unless it wouldn't work, of course, in which case ignore me."

"Actually, that's a great idea." Maggie replied "We've been talking about potentially helping Theo with the transition into king, but never had a moment to really do anything about. Maybe this would be a small step to start with. Thank you, it hadn't even crossed my mind."

Maggie exhaled a sigh and I was glad to have been of some assistance, even though it was only a simple suggestion.

"This world is so strange sometimes." I said "And you're a remarkable woman. I mean, you're a mother, a wife, a queen, a partner and a friend. Even to those who sometimes don't deserve your friendship."

"Is Thranduil giving you grief?" Maggie wondered

My silence and the evident flush on my cheeks must have given away my answer, because Maggie laughed again and I felt embarrassed.

"I just don't understand him or any of this." I replied

"He's not very good at communicating feelings." Maggie said "Because he spent a long time convincing himself that he didn't have any. "

The sound of echoing footsteps reached my ears and from the shadows of the corridor behind us, another familiar face emerged. Another person Maggie had introduced her to was Nat. One of her friends who had also arrived with her in Middle-Earth. There were four of them apparently, but they all lived in different places across Middle-Earth now. Another bizarre thing to get used to; that people from our world had clearly ventured her yet nobody else back home had a single clue of its existence. Nat walked towards us carrying three tankards and a metal carafe of what I assumed was wine.

"There you guys are! I've been looking for you!" Nat exclaimed excitedly "I come bearing gifts!"

"You always were the wine fairy." Maggie teased "How is my grandson?"

Nat perched on the ledge between myself and Maggie as she passed me a tankard and filled it with wine. If I'd learned one thing over the past few days, it was the dwarrow were incredibly talented when it came to creating alcoholic beverages. And, I'd both heard and witnessed that they were even more talented at consuming them. Yuletide was apparently an occasion when everyone tended to let their hair down and indulge in all the luxuries that came with the season.

"Fast asleep, you should have seen Theo singing him to sleep." Nat said "My heart literally cannot cope with the cuteness."

"Theo is very good with children." Maggie told her "He gets that from his father."

I kept hearing about Thorin Oakenshield and I wanted to ask more about him. The fact that Maggie had also lost someone she used to love gave us something in common, and maybe she could understand my conundrum regarding Thranduil.

"I still can't believe you're a grandmother when your son is nearly twice your age." I remarked and hiccuped, realising I'd swallowed the wine too quickly.

"That one takes time getting used to, believe me." Maggie said

Nat refilled our tankards with wine and I gave myself a mental reminder to slow down. Both dwarrow and elvish alcohol, I had found out, was deceitfully strong and much more so than any alcohol back at home. It wasn't just another pint at the pub. Still, I enjoyed the company of Nat and Maggie and felt like I could be more myself. I'd had a few friends back home, but they weren't in London and Charlie's friends had tried to reach out to me after his death, but given the war it was understandable they were busy.

"Speaking of children!" Nat exclaimed I can't believe Thranduil tucked Eira into bed! Or that Fili allowed him? How did that go?"

"Elrond went to check on them. She'd woken up briefly but Thranduil apparently sang her to sleep without any problems." Maggie said "Rather adorable really. If only he could show such sweetness towards others."

"You mean you can't hear the wedding bells already?" Nat teased "Look at how uncomfortable we're making her. You do fancy him don't you?"

I choked on my wine as Maggie raised an eyebrow at me and I heard Nat chuckling. I didn't fancy him. That was ridiculous. I was in awe of him and I was grateful for his hospitality and friendship, but fancy? No, that was a strong word.

I wasn't some lustful teeanger unable to control her emotions.

Even so, the mention of Thranduil's name brought back that familiar fluttering of my heart and I blushed again.

"No, I don't." I denied "I can't can I? For various reasons! One being that I barely know him! I mean sure, I've spent months living in his kingdom, but we're only just getting to know each other. Not to mention he's an elf and I'm a….."

"Human?" Maggie filled in "Millie, you do realise that that excuse is getting you nowhere in this company? I know Elrond showed you his vision, which of course you don't have to share. However, if it's one thing I realised during all these years, it is that Elrond's visions always mean something. Even if it isn't always obvious and might maybe even seem nonsensical, there's always a purpose. You're a nurse and a healer and I know you're great at observing people, but, if you'll forgive me for making such a bold assumption, maybe you're also afraid? I'm definitely speaking out of turn here, but I've seen how Thranduil acts around you. He is more gentle and attentive than I have ever seen him. Whenever you aren't around, his gaze is always wandering, as if he is seeking you out and when he finds you, he instantly relaxes. We haven't known each other long, Millie and I don't know why you're frightened, but if there's one bit of advice I may give you, it's to trust it. And if it all gets too much or too overwhelming, you always have friends here. Always."

And we drank to that.

Left or right?

In the darkness, it was hard to tell which direction to go to and given the amount of wine I'd shared with Nat and Maggie, I wasn't completely sure I trusted my own instincts. Maggie's earlier words had stuck with me, but I was still confused about everything.

Confused and now slightly dizzy. I decided left was probably the right turn and as I stumbled through the darkness, guided by the light of a lantern, I used the wall to steady myself. The last time I had drunk quite as much was after Charlie's funeral. After what seemed like ages, my hand finally landed on a door-handle and I assumed this was my bedroom. Although, when I pushed the door open, I didn't remember Thranduil also living along this corridor. Why was he in my room?

"Milicent?" he said, clearly confused "Are you quite alright?"

Damn elves are their heightened senses. I heard his question, but the moment I opened my mouth to reply, it wasn't words that came out of my mouth.

"Oh god…"

I stared at the yellow puddle of vomit on the floor and felt a mix of disgust and embarrassment. I wanted to stand up, but the world seemed to spin around me and as I took a step forward, I fell into Thranduil's arms.

How was he so close by? Hadn't he been sitting at his desk?

In one swift movement, Thranduil scooped me up into his arms and my head began to pound. I should have drunk more water, but time just flew by with Maggie and Nat. Apparently two carafes of Erebor wine shared between three humans takes its toll. Before I knew it, Thranduil carried me over to the bed

"What are you doing?" I mumbled in my semi-conscious bed "I'm fine, I just need to get back to my room. I'll clean up the vomit and make my way back."

"In this state?" Thranduil mused, "I think not. Dwarrow wine can be rather overwhelming if you are unused to its strength. Here, drink this, it will help."

Thranduil tucked me into the sheets of his bed, which was all filled with his scent - a sort of subtle sweetness that filled the air. He tilted my head up and passed me a mug of water, from which I drank and he sat on the edge of my bed. I wondered if the wine had some sort of hallucinatory qualities, because I could swear Thranduil was glowing. Not just glowing like a gaslight in London, but it was as though he was covered in starlight. He must have realised I was staring because he smiled.

"Do all elves glow?" I mumbled as I rested my head on the pillow. It was so soft and inviting. "Or is it just you?"

"All elves have the light of the Eldar inside us." Thranduil replied "Rest now, Millicent."

Sleep. Sleep would be good.

Thranduil got up from the bed and headed towards his desk, but before I grabbed his hand.

"Thranduil," I said quietly "Can you stay here until I fall asleep?"

I didn't want to fall asleep in loneliness. I could already foresee alcohol-induced nightmares of Charlie, but somehow with Thranduil there it felt better. The elvenking said nothing, but then I felt the weight of his body press into the mattress as he sat down again and I closed my eyes, eventually drifting off into sleep.

To be continued….

I know this chapter was a bit long and maybe a bit messy, but Millie had a lot to tell me it seems. Let me know what you think? What do you think will happen when she wakes up with a hangover? How does Thranduil feel about it all? Am I keeping everyone in character so far?