A/N: I'm back with another chapter and this one didn't take ages to upload! There's not much to say about this one, so let's just get back into it!

Chapter Twenty-Four

Fear

How could I have been so careless? Out of all the things I could have done, kissing Thranduil was absolutely the worst one. Not only had I betrayed myself, but I'd also betrayed the one person I'd loved more than life itself - Charlie. I didn't know where I was going when I ran out of the house, but I just kept going and crossed the river until I came to what seemed to be the beginning of a forest. Unlike Mirkwood, this forest was much brighter, even in the moonlight I could tell it was far more welcoming. It wasn't as dense as Mirkwood and I got the feeling it was ancient, just like everything else in this world.

Eventually, I stopped running to catch my breath and sank down on the grass. Hot tears streamed down my face, which was an annoying occurrence of late and an anxious knot tightened in my stomach. I hadn't meant to kiss Thranduil, it just simply happened. One moment I sat in the chair as he brushed my hair and the next, I'd pressed my lips against his. I wish I could blame it on the magical charisma of elves, but that wasn't it. I'd kissed Thranduil because some part of me wanted to and worst of all, that same part had also enjoyed it.

I used to think that the only person I ever wanted to kiss was Charlie, but no matter how much I wished otherwise, he was gone. I would never truly be able to move on with my life unless I accepted that and let go. Letting go was painful and I couldn't help but worry that if I did let go, everything Charlie and I had built together and the person he'd help me become would just fade away or cease to exist altogether. I still didn't quite understand my purpose here in Middle-Earth. Was it to help Thranduil heal his heartache or my own? Did the Valar somehow think we were a good match because of all that we had been through? It somehow seemed too simple, but I also couldn't just discard everything that had happened over the past few months.

"One should not stray too far from Elrond's House," came a new voice from somewhere behind me, "Elrond's magic only protects our borders, but once you cross it, you become vulnerable."

I looked up and saw the elf known as Glorfindel approach me. When we arrived in Rivendell a few hours ago, Glorfindel had been greeted not only as a friend, but as royalty. Both Eira and I had gazed at him in awestruck wonder and Maggie later told me that he was older than Elrond and Thranduil themselves.

"And where exactly do the borders stop and start?" I asked

Glorfindel gestured towards an enormous Ash tree not far from us. A frustrated sigh escaped my lips and I lay back on the ground, gazing up at the stars as I had done so many nights before. Out of all the strange things in this world, the one thing that made sense was the elves' love for starlight. It did bring me a strange amount of comfort and a few moments later, I found myself much more able to relax. I half-expected Glorfindel to have left, but not only was he still there, he sat down next to me. His long, silver robe reflected the light from the stars and illuminated him in a way that could only be described as magical. I pulled myself back up to a sitting position.

"I would ask why you're here, but I take it Thranduil sent you?" I guessed

"Nay, I sent myself." Glorfindel corrected me, "I saw you leaving the house in rather a frantic state and I thought it best to see if you were alright, as I am guessing you are not. Would you like to speak about it?"

"I don't mean to be rude, but you don't know me and I can't imagine why you'd want to hear about some stranger's problems."

"Aye, perhaps, but sometimes an impartial ear can be helpful. I have time to spare and I do not mind. It is, however, your choice. If you wish to be alone, I shall leave you be and let Elrond know that you are alright."

"What about Thranduil? Will you also tell him where I am?"

Glorfindel shook his head and smiled. I believed him and sensed that his concern was genuine.

"I've caused quite a scene, haven't I?" I sighed as I ran my hands through my hair, "It seems silly now, it was only a kiss."

"It appears to have been much more than that to have caused such a reaction in you, if you do not mind me saying so." Glorfindel said "Do you regret the kiss you shared with Thranduil?"

The question caught me off guard and my heart pounded loudly in my chest. Truthfully, I didn't regret it and had welcomed it. What really scared me was not the fact that I had kissed Thranduil, but that I enjoyed it. For a long time, I'd been fighting all these new emotions and changes, slowly letting go of Charlie and accepting that he was no longer a part of my life. At least not physically, but it was frightening in more words than I could explain. I couldn't truly allow Thranduil into my heart, on any level, unless I acknowledged that Charlie was a thing of the past and that it was alright for me to be happy.

"No, I don't." I confessed "I think that's what scares me the most. I never expected any of this to happen and I've tried to fight it for a long time, but I am not sure I can fight it anymore."

"Then perhaps you should not fight it at all," Glorfindel told me

"What if it makes everything worse, though? What if I give this a go and it all falls apart? My journey here would all have been for nothing."

"I do not think it will fall apart, little one. I do, however, believe that in order to move forward you must let go of the fear that holds you back. If it does, as you say, fall apart, there are people here who will catch you."

Glorfindel reached out his arm and pulled me back up onto my feet. He was right, of course and I knew what needed to be done. I had to speak with Thranduil and try to salvage the mess I caused before it was too late.

It took me a few moments to compose myself and gain enough courage to find Thranduil's chambers when I returned to Elrond's House. I thanked Glorfindel for his much needed words of advice and decided it was time to face my fear. I prepared myself for the possibility that Thranduil might not want to speak with me at all and that I had sullied any chances of explaining myself. After all, he was the king of Mirkwood and even though he was a changed elf, I had a feeling that famed temper was still buried inside him somewhere.

"You can do this, Millie." I whispered to myself "Have courage."

I knocked on the door three times and a short while later, Thranduil's familiar voice told me to enter. I carefully pushed the door open and stood in the doorway without saying anything for a while. Thranduil sat by the desk in the corner of the room, dipped a quill into some ink and scribbled away on a bit of parchment. I wondered what he was writing and to whom, but decided to save those questions for later.

"I was wondering if I could speak with you," I said "But if you're busy I can always come back."

The king of Mirkwood stopped writing mid-sentence and gently placed the quill beside him. Then, he got up from the seat and turned towards me. If he was angry, I couldn't tell from his expression, because if anything it showed worry and concern. Thranduil slowly walked towards me, as if he was worried I might run away again if he made any rash movements. Then, he saw my hands which were red from cold air outside and he carefully grabbed them.

"Your hands are freezing," he said "Are you alright?"

I nodded and followed Thranduil as he gestured for me to sit on the bed while he sat on the chair by his desk. I wasn't sure what to say or where to begin, but somehow I knew that if I wasn't honest about how I felt now, I might not get another chance to say anything.

"I'm sorry for running away like that," I apologised "Especially as I was the one who kissed you. I became overwhelmed and scared."

"Because of Charlie?" Thranduil wondered, "I understand why, you still love him."

"In one way, yes. I'll always love him and he'll always have a place in my heart. That's not why I'm scared, though."

Thranduil's expression changed from worried to puzzled as I searched for the right words to use.

"I have feelings for you." I finally confessed, "I have no idea what that means yet or when they even began. I'm scared because all of this is new to me and I don't know what will happen, at the very least because you're an elf and I'm human. I won't live as long as you do."

I'm not sure what kind of reaction I expected from Thranduil, but I watched as he walked over to the window, crossed his arms and sighed. At least a part of me thought he would have been happy that I confessed how I felt, because I'd been sure he felt the same way. Had I been wrong along and severely misread the whole situation?

"Yes, I have also considered that," Thranduil said "While it is a discussion to have in more detail, it does not scare me."

Thranduil walked back to the bed and this time sat next to me. He placed his hand on mine and I once against felt my heart beating loud.

"Your feelings are not unrequited," he confessed "Ever since you first arrived in Middle-Earth, I have tried to push you away because I thought there was no space in my life for anyone. Yet, somehow, you found a way into my life and the more time I spend with you, the more I realise how important you have become to me. Truthfully, since Erebor I have tried to find the right occasion to tell you and then when you kissed me, it caught me by surprise as well."

I listened to Thranduil's words and tried to contain the feelings bubbling inside me.

"What I am trying to say is this," Thranduil continued, "Millicent Thomas, I would like nothing more than to court you. Properly and according to elvish customs, but only if you are comfortable and happy in doing-"

I interrupted Thranduil by placing a kiss on his lips, except this time I had no regrets and I knew this was exactly where I was meant to me.

"Yes, I would love for you to court me." I agreed, "Although I have to admit that I am not entirely sure what that entails."

"You will find out in due time," Thranduil assured me, "Come, let us share the good news with everyone else."

I wondered what Charlie would say if he could see me now. Never in a million years would I have thought that an eleven king might want to court me. Or that I would be happy with it and I hoped with all my heart that wherever Charlie was, he was happy for me.

We spent the rest of that night in the Great Hall with everyone else. I was nervous to reveal the news, but once we told the others that Thranduil had asked if he could court me and that I had accepted, there was more than enough reason to celebrate. For the first time in a long while, I felt truly happy in a way that I had never been since Charlie died. Sure, I had a life in London with a job, an apartment and some friends, but it wasn't the same.

Over the next few days, I was more relaxed than I had previously been. I was able to enjoy spending time in Rivendell, which was a more magical place than I had ever imagined. During the days, I either spent time with Maggie, Felix and Legolas, while Eira played with Fili who truly seemed to be enjoying the freedom of the Hidden Valley. At night, I spent time with Thranduil whose mood had improved greatly and he even laughed more frequently than I had ever heard him.

Winter came and went. Before long, spring approached Rivendell. Slowly but surely, the snow covered trees began to melt and the skies were filled with echoing birdsong. One afternoon, when the sun blessed us with its presence and all snow had melted, I sat outside with Maggie next to me and Eira on my lap. On the grass in front of us, Fili had been practicing sword combat with first Gimli and then Felix, who were both rather good. Not that I had anything to compare it with.

"Millicent, I am not sure if Maggie has informed you of the rules in sparring," Glorfindel began as he joined us "But it is customary for a lady to offer a token to her combatant of choice, it brings good luck in his favour."

"Oh this brings back memories." Maggie mused and nudged me, "If I were you, I'd pick carefully."

"Particularly as Elrond gets jealous and is a sore loser." Fili teased

"Some things do not change over the years, it would seem." Thranduil chuckled

They were split up into two teams. Elrond and Felix versus Thranduil and Fili, which to me seemed a somewhat unfair advantage. I considered my choices carefully until I eventually placed a kiss on Thranduil's cheek and I felt acutely aware that all eyes were on me. Unlike before, I didn't mind the attention. Glorfindel had taken on the role of referee and when he gave the sign, the sparring began. The only other time I had seen something similar was in Erebor, during the Yuletide events, but this was different. Watching the different techniques between the elves and Fili and Felix was fascinating. Being a dwarf, Fili was naturally quick on his feet and I guessed he had a century or so of experience under his belt. Felix, being human, was the youngest out of the lot and as he was from mine and Maggie's world, I figured sword fighting wasn't something he learned as a child. Still, he must have picked up a lot of practice during his year in Middle Earth and on occasion managed to thwart Fili.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," came Erestor's voice from behind us. "Ladies, you have a visitor."

"A visitor?" Maggie asked "Both of us?"

Erestor nodded and I turned to Maggie who seemed equally confused. We followed Erestor back up the stairs leading up to the house and when we reached the top, Maggie grabbed my hand. Something had caught her eye and just as I was about to ask her what she'd seen, she gestured towards the bench on the veranda. An old man wearing white robes and long white hair sat on the wooden bench. In one hand he clung onto a walking staff of some kind and in another hand he held a pipe. Every time he inhaled the tobacco from his pipe, he exhaled enormous smoke rings, but that wasn't what surprised me the most.

I knew that face. I had seen it so many times before, but in a different setting and in entirely different clothes. Even though the evidence was right in front of me, I couldn't believe it.

"Mr Grayham?" I gasped "What on Earth….how…..?"

"Grayham?" Maggie asked "That's not Mr Grayham, that's….oh…."

Then it dawned on me. In fact, both Maggie and I had the same revelation, but I was the one who spoke first.

"You're Gandalf, aren't you?"

To be continued….

Dun dun dun! Gandalf finally appeared just as Millicent and Thranduil work things out! What do you think it means?