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22. RETURN
(FLIGHT)

My hands were shaking as Demetri returned us to the lavish reception area. The sudden tranquility of our new surroundings was shocking in its abruptness. There was no screaming here, only the sound of soothing music as it flowed out through speakers hidden somewhere along the paneled walls. No unsuspecting tourists lingered, their eyes filled with wonder and curiosity as they wandered unknowingly toward their deaths.

Gianna looked up, offering a polite smile from her place behind the mahogany counter. Demetri ignored her.

"Do not leave until dark," he warned us. Bella nodded silently. I gritted my teeth as he reopened the wooden doors and disappeared into the hallway beyond, but the screams had faded into silence. It didn't really matter. They still echoed in my ears.

The next few moments were a blur. Bella must have led me to one of the sofas on the far side of the room because I discovered quite suddenly—and with no memory of walking there myself—that I was sitting. The wooden doors that led to the turret were somewhere behind me, but I couldn't see them, a fact for which I was immensely grateful. Pulling air into my lungs for what felt like the first time in an hour, I leaned forward, propping my elbows on my knees and resting my face in my palms. I pressed my fingertips against my closed eyelids, trying to push the images away. I felt like I was going to be sick.

It wasn't that I was surprised by the Volturi's feeding habits—I'd known the truth about most vampires since I'd learned the truth about Bella—but I'd never expected to have it happen almost in front of me, to be exposed to so many helpless victims at once. I could still see their faces . . .

"Is there anything I can get you?" asked a polite voice.

I lifted my face from my hands to find Gianna standing behind the sofa. Her expression was a careful mix of concern and detached professionalism. I stared at her numbly, my brain trying to process too many things at once.

"No," Bella answered curtly, her eyes never leaving my face.

If Gianna registered the discourtesy of Bella's tone, she didn't react. She merely nodded, offering another polite smile. For just a moment, I saw her gaze settle on the dark cloak Bella wore. Then she took a step back and returned to her place behind the polished counter.

Beside me, Bella's eyes were filled with fear and concern and something that I couldn't quite name. I knew I should reach out to her, take her hand, and assure her that we were safe now, that everything would be okay, but my hands were still shaking. It would only upset her.

I could still see their faces. I pressed my fingers into my eyes again.

"Will he be okay?" I heard Bella whisper, her voice too low for Gianna to hear.

Several seconds passed before Alice answered. "Just give him a minute."

I had to pull myself together. There was no point in reacting this way. Surely they were all dead by now, and there was nothing that could be done for any of them. I took a slow, deep breath, holding it in for a moment before releasing it. Lifting my head, I stared at the painting of a vineyard that hung on the wall above Alice's sofa as my eyes struggled to refocus. I reached out to take Bella's hand.

Suddenly the sensation of being watched . . . or listened to . . . was nearly overwhelming. I turned my head toward the other side of the room, but no one was there except the ever-efficient Gianna. She was doing something I couldn't see—shuffling papers, maybe. I wondered if she was only trying to appear busy, if she was really trying to eavesdrop on our whispered conversation to determine what had transpired during our audience with her employers.

How much had she seen? Had the group of doomed tourists come through this reception area? Or had they come through the ornate doors at the other end of the hallway? Gianna obviously knew a great deal about her employers, and honestly, how could she not know everything?

"She knows, doesn't she?" I whispered.

"She must," Bella answered, her voice almost too low for me to hear. "When Demetri opened the doors to bring us back . . ."

The screaming. She would have heard the screaming.

The nausea rose again. I swallowed it down.

"How can she do this?" I wondered, Caius's words coming back to me. "Doesn't she know they'll kill her eventually?"

But Bella and Alice offered no explanation.

Some sort of blackmail, perhaps? A threat to a loved one? No, that couldn't be it. I remembered how she'd giggled at Felix's flirtatious wink. She wasn't here against her will. But why, then? Something pressed against the edges of my memory . . . the look in her eyes as they'd lingered on Bella's cloak. Had that been . . . envy? Suddenly, everything made sense.

"She wants them to change her," I realized.

But what were the chances of that, really? I'd already seen enough to know that Aro wasn't likely to change someone unless there was some benefit to him. What could Gianna offer the Volturi as a vampire? She couldn't have had any obvious talent or they would have changed her already. And they didn't need a vampire to act as a receptionist, no matter how efficient she was.

I watched as she entered something into her computer.

"What are her chances?" I asked, but again no one answered. Turning toward Alice, I found a small frown touching the corners of her lips. She shook her head faintly.

Not good, then.

I pushed the ill-fated Gianna from my thoughts, focusing instead on the girl beside me.

Bella's gaze was downcast, her eyes studying our joined hands where they rested in her lap. Her dark eyes were filled with sadness and . . . something else. I clenched my free hand into a fist, hoping it was steady enough not to alarm her, and reached for her chin. It took a little bit of nudging, but after a moment, she lifted her face to mine.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

The unidentifiable emotion on Bella's face only intensified.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," she whispered. "You shouldn't have had to see that."

I shook my head. "No, don't do that. This is my fault. All of it."

She shook her head, lowering her eyes to our joined hands once again, but I continued.

"I jumped off that cliff on purpose, Bella. I knew what it would look like. You said you'd have Alice look in on me from time to time, but she hadn't seen . . ." I trailed off. Now wasn't the time or the place to bring up Victoria or the wolves.

"I thought something more extreme would get her attention. I was miserable without you. I thought that if Alice saw, then maybe someone would come and check on me, and then maybe you'd come back and . . ." No, this wasn't what I'd wanted to say. I was going too far down the wrong path. "It's my fault, Bella. What nearly happened today is my fault, and I—"

Bella silenced me by laying her thumb against my lips. Her fingertips traced the side of my face. Goosebumps ran down my spine, not because of fear or the temperature of her hands, but because of how good it felt. I'd missed the way her fingertips felt on my skin.

"You look tired," she whispered, staring into my eyes.

I realized, suddenly, just how dark her irises were.

"You're thirsty." I started to pull away. "I should sit with Alice. This can't be easy for you . . ." But Bella wouldn't let me go. Her fingers tightened on my hand. For a second, something almost desperate flashed in her eyes.

"No! Don't go! Stay!" She seemed almost panicked by the idea of me moving just a few feet away. She closed her eyes for a second to compose herself.

"It's not . . . it's not like it was before," she began again, her voice calmer now. "Please just . . . just stay here with me."

Her eyes were . . . pleading somehow. Maybe I recognized it because I felt the same way. I didn't want to move, either. I shifted slightly, relieved when Bella sank into my arms and lay her cheek against my chest. I stiffened, worried that the sound of my heartbeat might be too much for her control, but she only snuggled closer, so I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her hair.

I couldn't hold her close enough, I realized as we clung together on the sofa. Every few moments, I would tighten my arms around her, but it never felt like they were tight enough. I had missed this so desperately—the feel of her, the smell of her hair—and after a few moments, I decided that I could happily stay here, like this, for however long they would let us be.

But there were practical matters that needed to be tended to. After about an hour, Bella and Alice began to plan our return. I paid little attention to their whispered conversation. I couldn't focus on anything but Bella. She still rested in my arms, her eyes gazing up into mine. Every so often she would reach up to run her fingers through my hair or I would lean down to brush my lips against her forehead or the tip of her nose. It was like heaven. I nearly forgot where we were or why we were there. Time lost all meaning.

I didn't know how many hours had passed when Bella pulled away. She and Alice turned their attention to the back of the room just in time to see Alec come through the wooden doors. He nodded once in Gianna's direction before turning his attention to us. His eyes, I noted, were now a bright, ruby red. His pale gray suit was spotless.

"You're free to leave now," he told us. His demeanor was warm and friendly. It didn't feel threatening, but it was creepy, all the same. "We ask that you don't linger in the city."

"We won't," Bella answered.

Alec smiled, nodded, and disappeared once more.

"Follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators," Gianna instructed as I pulled myself to my feet. I tested my weight on my ankle. It still ached, but the hours of sitting had helped.

"The lobby is two floors down and exits to the street. Goodbye, now," she added pleasantly. I watched as her eyes flitted briefly across Bella's cloak one last time before drifting away.

I wondered how much longer she had to live.

We followed her instructions, finding ourselves in an expensively decorated lobby that exited onto the crowded streets. The sky outside was a darkening gray, and the street lamps were just beginning to flicker on. The festival was still going strong, though it was beginning to feel more like a citywide Halloween party. Most of the red cloaks had been replaced with black satin, and many of the party goers were wearing ridiculous plastic fangs. Bella's dark cloak seemed to blend in as we wove in and out of the crowd toward the city gate.

Alice had no difficulty disappearing into the throng.

"Is she going to steal a car?" I whispered into Bella's ear.

"Not until we get outside. She went to retrieve your bags from where she hid them this morning."

For the first time since we'd left it in the alley, I thought of the yellow Porsche. I wondered if it had been returned to its owner yet.

The trip through the city seemed to take forever on foot. Nothing looked familiar in the darkness, but I hadn't been looking for anything other than a clock tower this morning, and even though my ankle wasn't throbbing the way it had been in those desperate moments, I was still relieved to see the dark stone archway growing closer in the distance. I breathed a sigh of relief as we stepped beneath the ancient portcullis, leaving the city behind.

In the shadows to the right of the gate sat a dark car with the engine running. Bella didn't wait for me to open the door for her. She directed me into the back seat, sliding in beside me and leaving Alice alone in the front.

"I'm sorry," Alice apologized, waving one hand toward the dashboard. "There wasn't much to choose from."

"It's fine, Alice." I smiled weakly at her reflection in the rearview mirror. "They can't all be 911 Turbos."

She sighed. "I may have to acquire one of those legally. It was fabulous." Turning in her seat, she met Bella's eyes. Another moment passed before one corner of Bella's mouth lifted into a weak, lopsided grin.

"Is that a hint?" she asked.

"Yellow," was Alice's only response as she turned back toward the darkness outside the windshield. She pressed her foot down onto the accelerator, sending the car speeding down the dark and curvy hillside away from the city.

The other corner of Bella's lips twitched upward. It was a weak smile, but it was the first one I'd seen in far too long. It was achingly beautiful.

"You should get some rest," Bella said softly.

"I don't know if I can," I told her, glancing down at the seat. "Cramped quarters." I didn't want to mention how afraid I was that if I closed my eyes, I'd see the faces of the dead tourists again. It would probably be a bad idea to remind her.

She shrugged out of the cloak, folding it into a makeshift pillow and placing it in her lap. "Try," she murmured gently. "I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

And so I tried. The back seat was cramped, but somehow I managed to lay down across it with my legs curled up in front of me and my head in Bella's lap. She reached down with one hand, lacing our fingers together. I wanted to stay awake, to enjoy this moment of simply being together, but the sensation of her fingertips combing gently through my hair was too much, and I drifted off to sleep.

It felt like only moments had passed when we arrived at the airport in Florence. By the time I emerged from the bathroom in a clean set of clothes, Bella had already changed into something Alice had bought somewhere along the way. Or maybe Alice had had it with her the entire time. With Alice, who could know?

Bella left the dark cloak in a trash can. She didn't look back as we walked away.

The trip from Florence to Rome was so brief that it was over almost as soon as it had begun, but I still did my best to maneuver Bella into my arms for the short flight. I was looking forward to the longer trip to Atlanta as we boarded the next plane. She was back in my arms again, her head on my shoulder, as soon as the seat belt light was off.

In the seat behind us, I could hear Alice's low voice as she spoke to Jasper on the telephone.

Bella tried to get me to sleep again, but I didn't want to. I wanted to stay awake, to spend the entire flight with her, but it was getting late. Most of the other passengers had already turned off their lights and sent the flight attendants after pillows. Still, I managed to stay awake for some of it, dozing off and on, waking every few minutes to run my fingers over Bella's face, only to doze off again a few moments later. It wasn't a restful sleep, and every time I woke to the sight of her, I thought I was only dreaming again, but at least the nightmares stayed away.

The last leg of our journey was more of the same, though this time, Alice was seated on Bella's other side. I could hear them speaking quietly here and there, and I drifted in and out of sleep to the sound of their soft whispers. Most of what they said didn't make sense, and I couldn't be certain how much of it I actually heard and how much of it was only a dream.

"He jumped off a cliff," I thought I heard Bella whisper at one point.

"I warned you," came Alice's soft reply.

"And he's lost weight."

"Lizzie says he's actually gained some of it back."

There must have been more whispers after that, but I'd slipped under again, and I didn't hear any more of what they said until I felt the gentle brush of Bella's fingertips against my forehead.

"I can't leave him again."

"I know," Alice whispered. "That part is very clear."

"What else do you see?"

Alice didn't answer immediately. I was starting to drift off again when she finally spoke. "Some of the possibilities are different now." She paused for a moment. "I know why you won't, but . . ."

"Alice, I can't."

"I know, but . . . maybe you should at least tell him the truth."

"I don't want him to know."

"He already knows there's something you aren't telling him. And he knows you called Finn. He just doesn't know why."

"I don't want him to see me that way."

"I can't see what he'll do until you decide, but he loves you, Bella, and after today, I think he can handle it."

I drifted off again after that, though I thought I heard a few faint whispers about wolves and the Quileutes before my hazy dreams shifted away from two girls on an airplane and on to visions of the pack chasing a red-haired vampire through the forest.

I awoke with a start as dream-Victoria reached out toward me, her eyes a bright, ruby red. It took me a moment to remember where I was. I caught one brief image of the sun beginning to peek through familiar-looking cloud cover before Bella reached up to close the blind.

I didn't have a chance to fall asleep again. Only moments later, the pilot announced our imminent arrival at Sea-Tac.

I was surprised by the reception that awaited us at the airport. At first, I saw only Jasper. He stood in the shadows behind the line of people waiting for their loved ones, his eyes scanning the new arrivals for Alice. She went immediately to his side, stopping in front of him to stare up into his face as he stared down into hers. There was no embrace, no welcoming kiss, but the moment was somehow far more intimate than either of those things could have been. I turned away, leaving them to their reunion.

Up ahead, in a quiet corner far from the security line, Carlisle and Esme waited with Chief Swan in the shadow of a wide pillar. Esme stepped forward, reaching out to hug me, a motion made more awkward by the fact that Bella's right hand was still firmly attached to my left.

"Thank you so much," Esme whispered in my ear. I could hear tears in her voice. Tears she could not shed.

Beside me, Bella was wrapped in her father's arms. He held her for a long moment before pulling away.

"Do not ever do that to me again, Bella," he told her sternly. "Ever."

"I'm sorry, Dad," she whispered, reaching up with her free arm to hug him again.

"Thank you, Edward," Carlisle said. He reached up to lay a hand on my shoulder. "We owe you."

"No," I answered, "you don't." I squeezed Bella's hand, enjoying the gentle pressure of her fingers squeezing back. As she pulled away from her father, I saw his gaze drift down toward our joined hands. His eyes lingered there for several seconds before he lifted them to meet mine. He reached out his right hand toward me.

"Thank you, Edward. Thank you for saving Bella."

Cautiously, I extended my own hand to shake his. I knew I wasn't his favorite person in the world. This must feel very awkward to him.

"Chief Swan, I-"

"Charlie. Just call me Charlie."

Beside me, Bella was engulfed in the embraces of her aunt and uncle. I didn't know if she'd heard.

"Charlie," I repeated quietly, shaking his hand again.

"We should go home," Esme reminded us as Bella stepped out of her embrace. "Edward must be exhausted."

Home. Did this mean they were all staying? Had Bella's entire family come back to Forks for good? I wanted to ask, but Bella's arm was wrapped around me now, and her dark eyes were boring into mine. I couldn't look away. I let her guide me toward the parking garage, my eyes too filled with her to pay any attention to where we were going. We were only a few feet away from our destination when I finally looked up to find Emmett and Rosalie leaning against the black sedan in the dim lights of the parking garage. Bella stiffened.

"She feels awful, Bella," Esme whispered.

Bella's jaw was clenched. Her expression never changed as she stared at her cousin.

"Let her make amends," Esme pleaded. "We'll ride with Alice and Jasper."

There was something on Rosalie's face, some expression that I'd never seen there before. Maybe Esme was right. I pulled Bella toward the car. She resisted for a moment, then followed reluctantly as I opened the back door and nudged her into the back seat. Emmett and Rosalie got in the front.

The car was silent as Emmett turned the key in the ignition and backed out of the parking spot. He followed the arrows toward the exit.

"Bella," Rosalie began, "I am so very sorry. I feel wretched about every part of this, and I am so sorry for what I did. Please say you'll forgive me."

Her apology felt . . . awkward. Her words were sincere, but she seemed terribly embarrassed.

The silence stretched out, but Bella didn't answer. Finally, after another long moment had passed, Rosalie turned in her seat to send pleading eyes in Bella's direction.

"I'm not the only one you need to apologize to," was all Bella said. Rosalie's gaze fell, and after a moment, she nodded faintly.

"Edward." Her gaze shifted toward my face, then flitted away with something that might have been shame before coming back to me again. "I am very sorry and so very grateful that you were brave enough to go save Bella after what I did. Will you forgive me?"

Her eyes, filled with shame and embarrassment, were focused on my face for what may well have been the first time ever. I knew it was the first time she'd ever spoken to me directly. I also knew how deeply her carelessness had hurt Bella, and there was a part of me that didn't want to forgive her. But I didn't want to be the cause of a rift in Bella's family, and if she never forgave her cousin, I didn't want to be the reason.

"I forgive you, Rosalie."

I could see some of the weight lift from her as she turned back to Bella. I saw their eyes meet as Bella looked up. A moment passed before Bella gave a small, nearly imperceptible nod.

"Thank you," Rosalie whispered. Then she turned in her seat to face forward again.

The rest of the drive was quiet. I'd almost hoped for some of Emmett's good-natured teasing, but perhaps he feared it would sour Rosalie's mood.

Or maybe he was just a bit upset that he'd missed out on all of the excitement.

Bella snuggled up beside me on the long drive, her head resting against my shoulder as we watched the scenery go by. I was tired, groggy from the series of flights and my disappointingly light sleep, so we'd already been back in Forks for several minutes before it registered that Emmett was taking us back to my house and not to theirs.

My house. My mother. In all of the excitement of trying to save Bella, I hadn't let myself wonder what she must be thinking, what she must be feeling. How worried she must have been.

What was I going to tell her?

Not the truth, certainly, and we couldn't blame this on my father, the way we had with Phoenix. She would be panicking, and nothing short of Bella's kidnapping by a group of international terrorists would make her overlook what I had done once she got past the panic and realized I was okay. And she would never believe that story.

We rounded the last turn, and Emmett parked in front of the brick driveway. I opened the door, sliding out of the back seat as my mother came running out of the house. I'd barely taken three steps away from the car when she barreled into me, knocking me back a step.

"Edward! Edward, are you okay?" She wrapped her arms around me, nearly squeezing the air from my lungs. I hugged her back, knowing how worried she must have been. I felt terrible. The hug lasted for another moment, and then she pulled away, reaching up to frame my face with her hands. Her eyes were still frantic as she studied me.

"I'm fine, Mom, really. Everything's fine."

"Where have you been?" she asked, but I could already hear the panic receding from her voice.

I opened my mouth to answer, but I still didn't know what to say. And then the dam burst.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been?" she asked. "All I had was a vague note about Bella needing you. Not another word about where you went or when you'd be back. No phone call. No other message. And right after Harry's funeral!"

I winced. She was right. I could have at least called to let her know I was okay. After Volterra.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

"It's my fault, really." Bella stepped forward, her hand reaching out for mine again. "There was a phone call and a misunderstanding, and in the end, Edward had to come in person to set everything straight."

Technically all of that was true.

My mother studied Bella for a moment. Her eyes darted back to my face, then moved back to Bella's again. She shook her head.

I scrambled for something to say, something that would smooth everything over, but I couldn't think of any plausible story that would save me at this point.

"Edward, go into the house. We'll talk about this later."

I opened my mouth to say something, but the look in her eyes made me think better of it.

"Yes, ma'am," I said instead. I gave Bella's fingers one last squeeze, but as I turned toward her, I saw her eyes flicker toward the side of the house. My bedroom window. A promise that she would be back later.

Feeling like a piece of me was being ripped away, I forced myself to let go of her hand and started up the front walk.

My mother didn't wait until I was inside.

"Do you have any idea what you did to him when you left?" I heard her ask behind me. I turned, pulling in a breath as I scrambled for the right words to defend Bella.

"I do," Bella answered. "Because I did it to myself, too."

My mother hadn't been expecting that. She didn't have a ready response.

"Lizzie, I . . . I thought I was doing the right thing. Long distance relationships are hard, really hard, and I thought letting him go was the right thing to do. It was my fault, after all. I was the one who was leaving. I didn't know what it would do to him. I thought I was the only one who would . . ." She trailed off, letting her eyes fall to the ground before bringing them back to my mother's face. "I was wrong."

Clearly my mother didn't know what to say to that. She paused, her eyes shifting toward Emmett, who was just getting back into the car after depositing my backpack outside the front door of the house. He gave her a charming but careful smile.

"Is your whole family here?" she asked instead.

"They are."

"Are they moving back?"

Bella hesitated before answering.

"I don't know. Maybe. Or maybe just me. I don't know."

My mother studied her for another moment.

"We'll talk later," she finally decided. "But for now, it's probably best if you go home."

"Yes, ma'am," Bella answered. She took one step backward, her eyes meeting mine for several seconds before she turned toward the car.

It hurt to see her go. It reminded me of too many things that I didn't want to think about. But she would be back, I reminded myself. She'd promised it with her glance toward my bedroom window. And she'd told my mother she was returning to Forks. She would be back.

"Bella," my mother called as Bella reached out to open the back door of the black Mercedes. "I'm very sorry to hear about your grandmother."

"Thank you," Bella said softly, turning toward us again. "Thank you, Lizzie." Then she climbed into the back seat, and I watched them drive away.