New Moon Reflected

by Willa Mitty

Sequel to Twilight Through the Looking Glass. A chapter by chapter re-imagining of New Moon in reverse. Here, Bella and Charlie are members of the Cullen family, and Edward is an ordinary human.

24. DECISION (VOTE)

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24. DECISION
(VOTE)

"This really isn't necessary, Edward." Bella's voice came from above, not from behind me on the bed. I looked up from tying my shoelaces to find her standing in front of me. "Everything will be okay. You don't need to worry about any of this right now."

"I'd just feel better if I could talk to Carlisle about everything that's happened." I finished the last knot and rose to my feet.

A faint frown touched Bella's lips. Was she suspicious? Surely she had some idea of what questions I might be planning to ask, but I didn't want to say too much. I didn't want her to think about all the ways this conversation might end.

"Fine," she conceded with a sigh. Lifting me in her arms, she slipped through the bedroom window. We landed gently on the ground below, and after a nervous glance toward the darkened windows of the neighboring houses, I climbed onto Bella's back. And then we were running.

I'd forgotten what it was like to run with Bella, to feel the wind in my face as the forest flew by. I couldn't see the trees—it was too dark and we were moving too fast—but I could imagine their dark forms as we passed. Why had I never dreamed of this, I wondered? Of flying through the forest with Bella, the wind in our hair and my arms around her? Maybe I hadn't let myself. It would have hurt too much to remember.

After a few minutes, Bella slowed to a walk, then stopped to help me down off her back. As soon as my feet touched the ground, she was in my arms again.

"I missed doing that with you," she sighed against my chest.

"Me, too," I murmured into her hair.

I wasn't sure where we were—my eyes were still trying to adjust to the darkness—but I could hear the sound of the river somewhere to my right, and the ground beneath our feet was level and bare. We must be somewhere on the driveway that led through the forest toward her house.

After a long moment, Bella slipped one arm behind my back and began to lead me slowly through the darkness. High above, a small patch of starlight escaped through a gap in the clouds, and I began to identify the shadowy shapes of trees on either side of the narrow lane. I remembered how overgrown it had been the last time I'd been here. Her family must have trimmed it back.

But how far were we from the house? And why were we walking so slowly? Or, more to the point, why were we walking at all?

"Bella Swan, are you stalling?"

I could just make out the faint dip of her head as she glanced down shyly.

"I just wanted you to myself for a little bit longer," she admitted softly.

I smiled.

"You look beautiful in the starlight, you know."

She turned her head to look up at me, bringing our slow progress to a halt.

"Can you even see me?" Her voice sounded slightly suspicious.

"I don't need to see you. You're always beautiful." But I could see the shape of her face now. I reached out to touch her cheek. "My eyes are adjusting. I can see the trees, and I'm seeing you now, too."

Something about those words struck me as I gazed down at her. They rattled around in my head for a few seconds before I realized why. Italy. That first moment with her before she'd realized we were both still alive.

And now I'm seeing you, too?

Bella took another step forward, trying to pull me with her, but I was too preoccupied by the memory to move.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Bella, in Italy, when I stopped you from stepping out onto the balcony, the first thing you said to me was, 'and now I'm seeing you, too.' What did you mean?"

She hesitated for a moment.

"I thought you were a phantom," she finally said, "a delusion. I thought I'd already lost my mind because I was hearing voices. Seeing things seemed to be the next logical step."

I stared at her for a moment as I tried to make sense of her explanation. "Voices?" I finally managed to ask. The word sounded flat to my ears.

"Well, just one voice. Yours. It's a long story."

"We've got time."

She looked down toward the ground. Was she embarrassed, or was she trying to decide where to begin? I reached down to take her hand.

"I went to Europe after I left you here," she began after a moment. "I couldn't go back to my family. I needed to distract myself, to find something to think about other than how much I missed you. I crisscrossed Europe, traveling from one place to another and trying to make the trips between stops as long as possible so that I would focus on the travel, on all of the things I saw along the way and all of the places I might go next. I thought that if I kept my mind occupied, maybe I wouldn't spend so much time thinking about you. It didn't work."

"The Doge's Palace. The Black Forest. The Spanish Synagogue in Prague. Caernarfon Castle. Drottningholm Palace. Those were just the beginning, but it didn't matter where I went. I didn't really see any of it. If I tried to see it, all I would think about was how much I wished I could show it to you."

"I was in Paris, on the roof of Notre-Dame, the first time I talked to you." She paused, apparently waiting for me to react, but after months of dreaming of her, I was in no position to judge. What would I have done, I wondered, if I didn't sleep, if I hadn't been able to dream about her?

"I wasn't really talking to you, of course," she continued after a moment, "and I didn't really hear your voice. I knew you weren't there, but it hurt a little less to pretend that you were. I could close my eyes for just a moment and imagine that you were standing beside me, looking down on the lights of Paris. It hurt when I opened them again and you weren't there, but for just a moment, I could imagine . . . It got me through."

"I was in Hampshire when Rosalie called to tell me . . ." Her words trailed off for a moment. Even now, with me beside her, she seemed unable to finish the thought. "Afterward, I knew what I would do. I've always known what I would do."

"Bella . . . " I began, but she silenced me with a brush of her fingertips against my cheek.

"As soon as I started toward Italy, you were there again, in my head. Only it wasn't like before. I wasn't pretending. It wasn't some fantasy. I could hear you. I could hear your voice telling me to stop, begging me not to do it."

I didn't want to think about this, to think about Bella ending her own life. She must have seen the expression on my face.

"It didn't hurt to hear you," she explained quickly. "It was wonderful, actually, to have you back, even if it was only for a little while. You went away, though, as soon as I got to Volterra, as soon as I was inside the city walls, but then I heard you again as I was about to step out into the sun. That was what stopped me. I heard you calling my name somewhere in the middle of the crowd. I heard you as you were coming up the stairs. I had to stop and listen. And then you were there, right in front of me. I thought you were a hallucination, at first. Then I thought it was some sort of . . . momentary mercy, that I'd been allowed to see you one last time before I had to go to hell."

I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about what might have happened if I'd been a few seconds later, if I had tripped in the city square, if I hadn't listened to Alice and hadn't been calling Bella's name . . .

Taking her face in my hands, I leaned down to kiss her, and the kiss was no less desperate than that first kiss in Volterra had been.

"Why didn't you listen?" I asked a few moments later, but I couldn't pull away from her entirely. I rested my forehead against hers, our noses faintly brushing. "Why didn't you listen to that voice?"

"Because you were gone," she whispered, but then I felt her eyebrows crinkle in thought. "Or maybe . . . oh!" She pulled away abruptly.

"Bella?"

"Oh. I see."

"See what?" I asked. She'd clearly had some sort of epiphany, but she wasn't sharing.

"You were still alive," she answered. "I must have known it, somehow. That's why you were telling me to stop, why the voice was telling me not to do it. I knew. But how?"

"Because the sun hadn't gone dark," I murmured, remembering what I'd told her before. "Because the world was still turning."

"Exactly," she whispered, standing up on her toes to kiss me again, but there was something still twisting inside of me when our lips finally parted.

"Bella?"

"What is it?"

"What did you mean when you said you thought you'd been allowed to see me one last time before you went to hell?"

"The Volturi are very good at what they do. It's said that sometimes, if they are feeling merciful, their executioners can complete their task without causing any pain. I thought that maybe they were feeling merciful, that I was already dead . . . or that with all of the other pain I was already suffering, I hadn't even noticed what they'd done."

I held back a shudder. For one dark moment, I was back on the crowded streets of the city, racing against time. I shoved the thought away.

"But why . . . why would you think you were going to hell?"

"Because of what I am," she said softly, "and because of what I've done."

It wasn't something I'd ever considered before—the idea of what happened to vampires after they died—but didn't we all wonder what came . . . next?

"So . . . vampires go to hell?" I asked.

"Maybe. Maybe not. It's not like anyone has risen from their pile of ash to let us know."

"Is that the leading theory, then?"

"There is no leading theory," she answered after a moment. "When they still believed our kind existed, the major religions preached that we were already soulless or that we were demons destined for eternal damnation."

"And you believe the latter." It didn't come out as a question.

"Maybe. I guess I was hoping I was wrong. If we have no souls, then there would have been nothing after. No more agony. No more living without you."

"And if there wasn't nothing?" I asked.

"Then it would have been no less than what I deserve. It didn't matter. I was already in hell."

I stared at her in the darkness. How could Bella, with her inherent goodness, her kindness, her innate sense of right and wrong, possibly think she was destined for hell?

"What if you were wrong on that count, too?" I asked. It took a moment for her to understand.

"Heaven?" she smiled sadly. "No, not for someone like me."

"What about Carlisle? You can't possibly think that someone like him has no soul . . . or that he's destined for eternal damnation."

She shook her head. "No, not Carlisle. Carlisle has never been anything but good. But that's not true for all of us."

So not all vampires then, just some of them.

"Bella, what could you have possibly done to deserve hell?"

But Bella didn't answer. After a long moment, she turned to lead me through the darkness once more.

I was still trying to decide how to rephrase my question when I began to see something in the distance, something pale and immense—Carlisle and Esme's house. Bella had brought us out of the forest closer than I had assumed.

This conversation would have to wait until later.

She helped me up the steps onto the wide porch, then led me through the open front door. I stiffened as she flipped on the lights, wondering what I would see, but the inside of the house was just as I'd remembered it. The piano and the white couches sat in their usual places. Not a speck of dust could be found, and any dust covers that might have been present had vanished. It was as if they had never left.

"Carlisle?" Bella said softly. His name had barely passed her lips before he was standing beside us. "Welcome back, Edward," he said with a smile. "What can I do for you this morning? I imagine, due to the hour, that this is not a purely social visit?"

"No, I was hoping to talk to you about what happened in Italy. And . . . maybe to Alice, too."

In less time than it took for me to blink, Alice had appeared at the bottom of the staircase. Had she been listening for us? She must have known I was going to ask for her before I'd even spoken her name.

I watched as Bella's curious gaze met Alice's. Alice offered her a smile that I could only assume was meant to be reassuring.

"Why don't we sit down?" Carlisle suggested, gesturing toward the sitting area across the room. Bella and I sat down on one of the long white couches, while Carlisle and Alice sat down across from us.

"Have you told everyone everything that happened in Italy?" I asked Alice.

"Everything," she confirmed. I nodded and turned my attention back to Carlisle.

"The Volturi know about me now. They've given me an ultimatum, of sorts."

"We have time, Edward," Carlisle said, but did he mean that we had time to figure out an alternative, or did he simply mean that there was time left before the inevitable? I didn't know.

"How much time?" I asked.

"It could be months, or it could be years," came the answer.

I turned toward Alice again.

"I don't see anything definite," she said, anticipating my question. "They haven't made any decisions yet."

"But there are possibilities, right?"

She paused for a moment before answering. "It's like Carlisle said. It could be months, or it could be years. Right now there are several possible futures, but until they decide, none are any more likely than any of the others."

"You'll be able to see when they do decide, though," Bella pointed out. "We'll know when they're coming, and we'll be able to take Edward somewhere safe."

But Carlisle looked doubtful. Alice only frowned.

"Is there anywhere that would be safe?" I asked. "I don't get the impression that it's easy to escape the Volturi."

"It isn't," Carlisle said softly. "No one has ever managed it, at least not since Demetri joined them."

"Demetri?" I asked.

"Alice said you'd met him?"

I nodded. I remembered Demetri, of course, but of the two of them, Felix had seemed the most threatening. I hadn't realized there was anything special about Demetri.

"Demetri is a tracker, perhaps the most gifted tracker there has ever been," Carlisle explained. "His ability is similar to James's, but far more powerful. He has tracked vampires across continents. Around the world, even. Escaping him would be . . . difficult."

Was this why Demetri and Felix had been the first vampires sent to find us in Volterra? I'd assumed that Felix was the muscle and Demetri was the voice of reason, but what if that was only partly true? What if Demetri was more of an . . . insurance policy, a guarantee that the Volturi could find someone again if they needed to?

"But with Alice on our side, we'd be able to predict his movements," Bella argued.

"Could we?" I asked. "James was around me for moments, but he tracked me to Phoenix in a matter of days. Demetri was around me for a lot longer than that, and if he's a better tracker than James was . . ." This didn't sound good. "If I managed to stay one step ahead of him, I'd spend the rest of my life running. I can't run forever."

Bella reached out to take my hand. "You wouldn't be alone."

I shook my head. "No, I can't let you take that chance. If any of you are helping me, the Volturi will know. I can't let any of you risk your lives like that."

I took a shaky breath and stared down at the pale floor. Hadn't I known, deep down, that this was the way this conversation would go? Standing in that castle turret, I'd known I was out of time. I'd known it in Phoenix, too, as James had looked down at me with death in his eyes. I'd thought I had only one chance for survival back then, if I could just stay alive long enough, but this time, staying alive would only doom me. And there would be no last minute miracles.

"It's the only way, Edward," Bella insisted.

"No," I said simply, pulling my eyes back to her face, "it isn't."

I could see the moment she understood. I could see the horror that flashed in her eyes as she let go of my hand.

"No, absolutely not." She was on her feet in an instant. Her hands were clenched into fists at her sides.

I could feel my heart pounding.

"We can't run forever, Bella. What happens when they catch us? You can't fight them all. They'll kill me, and you'll die trying to save me, and if you don't . . . well, we all know what you'll do then."

"Edward," Carlisle said calmly, "this isn't a decision that needs to be made now. There is time."

Maybe there was. Maybe there wasn't. Maybe this was where I'd been headed all along, and I'd been too much of a fool to know it. But Alice had known. Alice had always known.

Bella was shaking her head. I could still see the anger in her eyes, but there was something else there, too. Was it horror? Or . . . panic?

"You don't want this, Edward. You don't know what you'd be giving up. I do."

My mouth had gone dry. I tried to swallow, but I couldn't. My hands had started to shake. I could see them out of the corner of my eye.

"Bella, some day I'm going to die. Maybe it'll be Demetri. Maybe I'll step out in front of a bus next Saturday. Or maybe the Volturi will forget about me until I'm an old man, and I'll die asleep in my own bed, but I will die, and what will you do then?"

"No," I heard Bella whisper. "Edward, no."

My heart was still pounding, and I knew my legs wouldn't hold me if I tried to stand. I propped my elbows on my knees to steady them and rubbed my eyes. For so many months I'd avoided this question, and then it had seemed that the answer wouldn't have mattered anyway, but now I realized that all of those months were what hadn't mattered, not really. Maybe the decision the Volturi had made for me two days ago hadn't mattered, either, because somewhere along the way—and I didn't know when—fate had already decided for me. Maybe the path I had taken to end up here had been irrelevant. Maybe every path ended at the same place.

But if there was no other choice, if all I could do was to accept what seemed like the inevitable, why did it feel so . . . right?

Pulling my hands away from my eyes, I looked across to where Alice sat. Her expression was distant, like she was trying to see something shifting in the future. I watched as her eyes came back into focus, as they settled on me, and then the smallest hint of a smile appeared on her face.

I took a deep breath. My legs still felt like pudding, but my hands were steady now. My heart wasn't pounding anymore.

"Maybe we have a little time, but I can't stay human."

"Edward," Carlisle asked, "are you doing this because it's what you want or because you feel you have no other choice?"

It was a valid question, though it wasn't one I'd been expecting him to ask. Was this something he had considered before, I wondered? Charlie had asked to be changed as he was dying, but had any of the others? Had Carlisle ever regretted making that decision for them?

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time, but I've never talked about it because I know how Bella feels, and I didn't want to hurt her, but even without the Volturi, it seems like there's only one possible answer. Bella doesn't want to live without me. I don't want to live without her, either. That only leaves us with one option, doesn't it?"

"It does seem to be the most logical solution," Carlisle noted, "but is it what you want?"

I looked up from where I was sitting to where Bella stood several feet away. The expression on her face was changing, the anger giving way to something else. It looked like pain. I wanted to go to her, to comfort her, but she wouldn't accept me now. Especially not if I answered Carlisle's question honestly, and I wasn't going to lie to him.

"Yes," I said simply. "I think it is."

I watched the pain grow darker in Bella's eyes. She turned her face away.

So that was it then. For better or for worse, the decision was made. But what were my options? The Cullens had been willing to let me change in Phoenix, before Bella had saved me, but only Alice had actually offered to make that change happen, and I wasn't sure how much of that offer had been sincere and how much of it had been an attempt to create a future that Aro would be happy with if he read her mind. If it wasn't a genuine offer, where did that leave me? A trip back to Volterra? Aro would change me, of that I was certain, but would they ever let me leave? Would I spend the rest of my life preying on hapless tourists?

Would Bella follow me to Italy and end up living that same life?

I saw Alice wince.

"Edward, if you're thinking what I think you are, you don't have to do that. The offer I made on the plane was serious. If you want me to change you, I will. I'll just need time to prepare myself." She frowned. "It's not something I've ever done before."

Bella's head turned in Alice's direction so quickly that the motion was no more than a blur. The look on her face was one of betrayal now, like Alice had just shoved a knife into her back. If Alice really did go through with changing me, Bella might never forgive her, and if Alice tried to change me and failed . . .

"If I might offer an alternative," Carlisle's calm, reasonable voice broke the tension of the room. "If you would like to join our family, I would be able to do it. I have enough experience in the matter to know that you would be in no danger of me losing control."

But it wasn't just Carlisle's offer to change me that caught my attention.

"You . . . want me to stay?" I asked.

"Don't be ridiculous, Edward." Alice sounded a bit annoyed. "Of course we want you to stay."

"You've always been welcome here," Carlisle added. "That isn't going to change."

But any relief I might have felt vanished as my eyes caught sight of the expression on Bella's face. It tore at something inside of me. I wanted to go to her, but my human reflexes were far too slow. Carlisle was already on his feet, already standing in front of her with his hands on her shoulders.

"Bella, you've chosen not to live without him, and that doesn't leave any of us a choice. Think of Charlie. Think of Esme." He turned sideways so that she could see the couch behind him. "What about Alice? And me?" He chucked her gently under her chin, but Bella only turned her eyes away.

She was hurting, and I hated it. I promised myself that I would find something, some way of making it up to her, but I couldn't stop myself from wondering if Bella wasn't the only one who didn't want this to happen. In retrospect, it wasn't surprising that Carlisle and Alice had been so willing to let me join the family, but what about the others? They had welcomed me into their home, and they had tried to keep me safe from James and Victoria, but months had passed since I'd been a part of their lives. Maybe they didn't want me around anymore. Maybe they wouldn't want me around . . . forever.

"Thank you, but . . . I wouldn't want to force my way in if the others don't want me here."

"Why don't we ask them?" Alice suggested, and before I could object, Carlisle was already calling their names.

"Esme? Charlie? Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper?"

They appeared from above as Carlisle called them. Esme came to a stop beside Charlie at the bottom of the staircase. She was smiling warmly, but Charlie's eyes were fixed on his daughter. Emmett and Jasper waited on the steps behind them, while Rosalie paused near the top of the stairs. She seemed hesitant to come any closer.

I wondered if they had been listening all along.

"You've all heard Alice's account of what occurred in Volterra," Carlisle began. "The Volturi know about Edward now, and he has decided not to take the risk of remaining human. Alice and I have invited him to join our family, but he would like to know your feelings on the matter."

Without a hint of hesitation, Esme stepped forward, her cold arms enveloping me in a hug.

"Of course we want you, Edward. I already think of you as part of my family."

On the staircase above, I could hear Emmett chuckling faintly. I pulled away from Esme and looked up to where he stood. His teeth were exposed in a wide grin.

"Hell, yes!" he answered enthusiastically. "We'll even teach you how to fight." He punched his right fist into his left palm, and the sound crashed through the room like the thundering impact of two boulders. If I hadn't known him so well, it would have been terrifying.

"Now that sounds like a plan," Jasper agreed from beside him.

"You know, he might not be half bad," Emmett mused.

"Not if Jasper's the one teaching me," I replied, returning Emmett's grin. Emmett howled with laughter.

There was something in Jasper's expression, I realized as I turned my attention toward him. His eye contact was deliberate, like there was something he wanted to communicate. An apology, perhaps? Was he hoping I didn't hold any hard feelings about what had happened at Bella's party all those months before? I gave him a small, tentative nod, and he seemed to relax. He nodded back.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Charlie had left his position at the bottom of the stairs and was crossing the living room to where Bella stood. He sat the Stetson he'd been carrying on an end table and placed his hands on Bella's shoulders, just as Carlisle had done only moments before. His voice was low, but I could still hear the words he spoke to her.

"Bella, he's got a point. I know why you feel the way you do, but if you're going to try to end things if anything happens to him, that doesn't leave me much of a choice, does it?" He tried to pull her into his embrace, but she resisted. "He's seen more of this life than any of the rest of us had," he continued after a moment. "He's got an idea of what he's getting into."

Bella said nothing as she pulled away from her father and went to stand beside the wall of glass that looked out across the lawn and down toward the river. Charlie turned toward me.

"You're welcome here, Edward," he said. "We'd be glad to have you." Then he turned to pick up his hat.

"Thank you. . . sir." I didn't know what else to say.

Behind me, I could feel . . . something, some nagging sensation that was tickling the back of my neck. I turned toward the staircase again, my eyes automatically moving toward Rosalie.

"Bella's right," she said. "You shouldn't want to be one of us."

I saw her eyes drift to the side, toward where Bella stood, and I watched as a silent moment passed between them. I knew they'd had their differences in the past, but on this note, at least, they seemed to understand each other. And then Rosalie turned toward me again.

"It's not you. It's not that I wouldn't want you in this family. It's just that . . . this is not a life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there would have been someone there to say no for me."

There was nothing malicious in her words, and what I saw in her eyes was simple honesty. This wasn't a rejection of me. She was just trying to offer some advice along with her opinion about the decision I'd made . . . and she seemed like she was trying to be nice about it.

Well, if I was going to end up in this family, I would need to start building bridges.

"Thank you, Rosalie. Thank you for your honesty."

But she could see that her words weren't enough to change anything. Frowning faintly, she turned at the top of the stairs and disappeared into the darkness.

I stared after her for a moment as the reality of what had just happened began to sink in. They wanted me in their family. Even Rosalie, who thought I should stay human, hadn't rejected me. I was touched by their acceptance, but my head was starting to spin with the enormity of all that lay ahead. How did someone even begin to prepare for something like this? To tie up the loose ends of their life? To find a way to say goodbye to everyone they loved?

Would I have to fake my own death?

"Thank you," I said as Esme hugged me again. I watched as Alice skipped past us and up the staircase to Jasper's side, but then my eyes drifted across the room to where Bella still stood, her back toward us as she continued to stare out across the dark lawn.

"It'll take time to work out the details," I told them. "Maybe after graduation, if they let us wait that long. It'll take time to sort things out."

I felt Carlisle's firm hand on my shoulder.

"That sounds reasonable," he agreed. "We'll talk about it later. But for now, it's getting late . . . or early, I should say. You should probably be heading home."

"Thank you, all of you," I said again, and then I made my way across the room to where Bella stood. She didn't acknowledge me as I approached. Behind me, I sensed—rather than heard—the others slipping away to continue whatever they'd been doing before I'd arrived.

"Carlisle's right," Bella said softly. "I should probably get you home."

I wanted to reach out to her, to say something, but I was having trouble gauging her mood, and saying the wrong thing would only make things worse. In the end, I took the coward's way out and simply nodded.

She was quiet as we ran through the forest. She was hurting, I knew, and she was probably still angry, but although I struggled the whole way home to find the right thing to do or the right words to say to fix things, I came up empty. The neighborhood houses were still dark as Bella slipped out of the trees. She climbed up the side of my house and through my bedroom window, setting me down on the edge of my bed. I reached over to turn on the lamp.

A part of me had expected her to leave, to disappear through the window, but as I turned back from the lamp, I found her sitting beside me. Her eyes were fixed on her hands, which sat folded in her lap.

"I don't want this for you," she whispered.

I sighed. "I know. But it's the most obvious answer, isn't it?"

She frowned. "You'll have to give up everything—your family, your friends, your life."

She was right, of course, but I already knew that. "I know."

"And it's painful, Edward." She paused to shudder. "More painful than you can possibly imagine."

I'd forgotten that part. Or maybe I'd just been trying not to think about it.

"I know," I said again. "But I've lived without you, and I survived that. I'm not looking forward to the pain, but you'll be there when it's over, right?"

But Bella only frowned again. She still hadn't looked up from her lap. I remembered what her father had told her about knowing why she felt the way she did.

"Bella, I know there's something else. There's something you aren't telling me, but I don't know what it is." Was this the secret she and Alice had talked about on the plane?

"Why did you call Finn before you went to Italy? What did you need him to do? Does it have something to do with . . . this?"

She didn't move a muscle, but something flickered in her eyes. She didn't respond.

"I just don't want to curse you to hell," she finally said.

"Is that it? Do you think I'll end up in hell if I become what you are?"

No, that might be part of it, but it wasn't everything. Suddenly, a new suspicion began to form in my mind. Did Bella's secret have something to do with her conviction that she was destined for eternal damnation?

"One way or another," she answered vaguely. "You deserve so much better than that."

I reached down to cover her hands with mine, but she still refused to look at me.

"Someday, Bella, you're going to have to tell me why you hate what you are so much."

I'd been trying to make her look at me, but not like this. What I saw in her eyes when they met mine was complete and utter misery. She shook her head.

"You don't want to know," she whispered.

I reached up to touch her cheek.

"I love you, Bella, and absolutely nothing you ever tell me will change that."

She looked skeptical, so I leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Hey, I faced a castle full of blood-thirsty vampires, and all it did was make me that much more determined to spend the rest of my life with you. There is nothing that you could possibly tell me that will change how I feel about you."

Maybe she was starting to look like she might believe me.

I stood up and took one step toward the door.

"If you don't believe me, we can go back to Italy, and I can do it again . . ."

She smiled faintly and shook her head.

"You don't have to do that."

"Thank God," I breathed, sinking down to my knees in front of her. Bella laughed softly under her breath, then sobered.

"But you shouldn't want to be what I am, Edward."

I reached up to take her hands in mine.

"What I really want, Bella, is to spend the rest of my life with you, however long that may be."

She studied my face for a moment, but the small smile that touched her lips didn't seem to reach her eyes.

"That's all I'm asking for," she answered, leaning forward to kiss me.

. . . . .

We're almost to the end! Just an epilogue to go. I'm going to do what I did with the first story and post an FAQ at the end of the epilogue, so if anyone has any burning questions about this story that they'd like me to answer, just let me know!

Thanks for reading!