Episode 8 - Insane Drama

Written by: Fun But Shy Girl

Based on Characters Created by: Mark Reisman

*Author's Note - This episode is based off a true story... no, seriously...

Sophia and Emmy were sitting on a couch together watching television, as Emmy was shedding some tears, while a wide eyed Sophia looked very confused. Sophia then looked at Emmy as she said, "So this woman Maria... she was up for adoption because her mother wanted to hide her from her father who was the head of an international mafia group?" As Emmy wiped away some tears she said, "Yes. It's so beautiful. But now Maria and her mother Esperanza are finally reunited and happy together. It's so beautiful." A still confused looking Sophia then said, "But... this show takes place in the suburbs. I thought you said this was a relatable show." Then Emmy looked right at Sophia as she said, "Hey. Mi Corazón Dolorido Como Rehén is the greatest telenovela of all time, with compelling characters that show how ordinary people deal with extraordinary situations. Now if you keep watching, you might learn how to deal with this if it happens to you in your own life. Ooo. We're about to get to the epic court room scene, where the jury is filled with all of Esperanza's secret crushes from her childhood and teenage years." With very wide eyes, Sophia then said, "Emmy, this is not relatable! People don't just go about their daily lives and encounter members of the mafia, and wind up in insanely convoluted court room drama situations. Anyway, I need to go to work now. Keep enjoying your show... I guess." Then as Sophia left the room, Emmy looked back at her television as she began to tear up again while saying, "It's okay Esperanza. I understand your pain, and know that you were always meant to be with Antonio, and not the clone of his twin brother who was brought back to life."

Sophia rang the doorbell outside of a large single family home. Through a speaker, Sophia heard a male voice say, "Yes?" Sophia then said, "Yes. I'm here to deliver your wife's designer dresses she ordered, and make any modifications she sees fit." The male voice over the speaker then said, "Yes. I come to door now." Then after a moment, a large bald muscular man opened the door and with a thick Russian accent he said, "Hello. I am Boris Putinsky. You come inside and do work for me and wife." Sophia looking slightly confused, walked into the house and saw many boxes laying around. The large man then said, "Excuse boxes. Me and family just moved from mother Russia to this place for business." Then suddenly a delivery man walked into the house carrying a large heavy unmarked box as he said, "Sir. Where can I put the fifty containers you ordered?" The large man then moved a book on a nearby book case, pushed a button, and then the book case opened up to a dark room with no doors and windows. Sophia suddenly looked very freaked out, as the large man said, "Boxes go in there. Do not let book case close on you. It can only be opened from outside." Then a contractor walked inside of the house and said, "Sir, it's starting to rain. Can I put my table saw in your garage?" Then the large man said, "No. You put it in baby's room. Baby likes sound of wood being cut by machine." Sophia now looked very scared, as the large man said, "Come. I take you to see wife. She's in little daughter's room."

The large man then led Sophia up the stairs to a room with pink painted walls. The two walked into the room, as a confused Sophia said, "So... where is she?" Then another book case opened up, and stepping out of another dark room was a middle aged woman holding a remote, and with a thick Russian accent she said, "Oh. Hello. I was just dusting play room for children. Lights went off and I had hard time finding remote to special door." Then the large man looked at Sophia as he said, "Now. You do work for wife, and then you assist me in special project I have in basement." Sophia looking scared now said, "Um... I'm only here to work on the dresses I brought." The large man nodded his head and said, "Yes. And then you come with me to special room in basement for special project you will work on for..." Then the large man's cell phone rang, and then he said, "You wait one minute." The large man then held his cell phone near his ear and said, "Hello? No, you do not stop hunt for runaway girl. She knows too much information, and source of leak must be terminated." Then a panicked looking Sophia backed up and said, "Um... I'm sorry, but I just realized I brought the wrong materials with me to this project and I... I have to go." Then Sophia quickly rushed out of the house.

Sophia sat in an office with her boss as she said, "I'm telling you Roberta. This client and his house was beyond creepy. Hidden rooms, unmarked boxes, table saws in the baby's bedroom, more hidden rooms in the children's bedrooms, and insisting I come into the basement for a special project. I was freaking out." Sophia's boss Roberta then said, "Well it sounds like you did the right thing Sophia. We'll see if we can get the client to meet here at the shop to make things easier on us, or maybe..." Then Roberta's phone rang. Roberta picked it up and said, "Hello? ... Wait a minute... What? ... What? Seriously? Um... okay... she's here. So I'll tell her." Roberta then hung up the phone as a confused looking Sophia then said, "What is it?" With a puzzled look, Roberta then said, "It's the client you just left. They're suing us for emotional damages we did to them. You've already been given a summons to appear in court." With a surprised and freaked out look on her face, Sophia yelled, "What!?"

Sophia sat in a court room looking very nervous, as several people were walking in. Then suddenly Emmy rushed into the court room wearing a black button down shirt and black skirt. As Emmy sat down next to Sophia, a confused looking Sophia then said, "Emmy? Where's my mom?" Emmy with a casual voice said, "Oh, she's still stuck at the airport with your step-dad and can't make it. So I'll be representing you." A freaked out looking Sophia then said, "What? But Emmy, you're not a lawyer." Emmy with a relaxed tone said, "Relax. You can have someone who isn't a lawyer represent you in certain types of cases... I think. Don't worry though. I've watched plenty of cases like this on the Court Room Drama Channel. I've studied these kinds of cases. Relax. You're in the best of hands." Sophia then covered her face with her hands as she said, "My God, why me!?"

Then a male judge stepped into the room, as a guard said, "All rise." The judge then stood before everyone as he said, "Good morning everyone. Now then, the lawyer representing the prosecution will call their witnesses." The large man then took the stand, while a large lawyer stood near him. The large lawyer who also had a thick Russian accent then said, "Now good sir. Explain how insignificant little woman broke you and wife's heart." The large man then said, "Woman was supposed to create nice dresses for wife. I invite her into home and show her type of kind hospitality we show in Mother Russia. Then she suddenly leaves without reason and breaks wife's heart. Now we must create new coats ourselves from moose and squirrel we hunt. Poor wife cried all night while eating fresh panda bear meat."

The judge then said, "Miss Mendoza, would you care to cross-examine?" Emmy then stood up and went over to the large man and said, "Okay mister. I've got some questions for you. You seem like the kind of guy who's been places and seen many things. Like why are you living in Portland, Oregon of all places now?" The large man then said, "Oh, I travel all around world because of special business I do." A suddenly excited looking Emmy then said, "Ooo. Have you been to the Philippines? My grandmother was born there." The large man smiled as he said, "Oh yes. My favorite place there is Puerto Galera. Beautiful beaches there." A grinning Emmy then said, "I know. It's like heaven on Earth there. Anyway, I guess I'm done now." Emmy then sat down next to Sophia, as a confused looking Sophia looked at Emmy as she said, "What was that?"

Then the large lawyer stood up and said, "I call insignificant woman to stand now." Sophia then took the stand as she had a glaring look in her eyes. The large lawyer then looked at Sophia as he said, "Is it true that you left client's home before finishing work?" With a straight forward tone, Sophia then said, "Yeah. But we didn't charge him anything. And honestly... I was just being cautious. The home had multiple hidden secret rooms, including some connected to the kids bedrooms. Plus there was a lot of unmarked boxes around, and a table saw in one of the kids bedrooms and... I made a judgment call, and so I decided to leave." The large lawyer then said, "So you admit to being judgmental to client even though he's simply different?" Then a confused looking Sophia said, "Well... um..." The large lawyer then said, "Look. Just because client is wanted for crimes in twelve different countries, that does not give you motive to judge him. Would you want people to judge you for couple of unfortunate accidents you maybe caused? I do not think so. I am done with you insignificant girl."

The large lawyer walked away as Emmy approached Sophia and said, "So Sophia, before all of this happened... didn't I tell you that you should've paid attention to my favorite Telenovela that contained a plot line loosely similar to what you're going through now, just in case it happened to you in real life?" Sophia looking confused, then said, "Well... yeah." Then Emmy said, "Well don't you wished you had stayed at my place and watched the whole episode, now? No further questions." The judge then said, "Miss Mendoza, do you have any other witnesses to question?" With a big grin, Emmy said, "Yes. I'd like to call to the stand... famous Hollywood director JJ Abrams!"

Then Hollywood director JJ Abrams took the stand, as Emmy said, "Mr. Abrams. State to the court your two biggest sci-fi films you directed." JJ Abrams then said, "Oh. Well that would definitely be Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker." Then with a stern voice, Emmy said, "And would you state to the court, your personal feelings towards those two movies." JJ Abrams then casually said, "Well I believe those movies are two of the best Star Wars films ever made." With an angry voice, Emmy yelled, "Objection! The Force Awakens was clearly just a re-tread of the best stuff from the original trilogy. Young protagonist escapes desert planet with cute marketable robot, big planet sized death machine has to be stopped, wise mentor figure dies. There was nothing original about the story!" Then JJ Abrams said, "Well, you see... many people didn't enjoy the story and style of the prequels, so I was just doing a return to form and..." Then Emmy bitterly yelled, "No! You ran out of ideas after doing those two amazing Star Trek movies you did, and then just copy and pasted the summaries from the old Star Wars movies into the new ones, and assumed that if Harrison Ford simply filled the spot of Alex Guinness, no one would be able to tell the difference." Then a nervous JJ Abrams said, "Well as George Lucas himself once said, it's like poetry, and it rhymes. And at least we were more loved than the prequels and..." Then Emmy with anger in her face said, "The prequel movies were the ground work that gave us Clone Wars, Rebels, Bad Batch, and the crown jewel: the Obi Wan mini-series. How many spin-off shows have been made starring the actors or characters you brought into the Star Wars mythos!?" Then a very nervous JJ Abrams said, "Well... there was Star Wars Resistance." Then Emmy rolled her eyes and said, "No one watched Star Wars Resistance! I wasted my money on two terrible sci-fi movies that cost me fifteen dollars a piece when I went to see them on IMAX as a kid. I want my thirty bucks back!" Then JJ Abrams reluctantly handed Emmy thirty dollars. A smiling Emmy then said, "Sweet. Now then, I'd like to call... Smallville actor: Tom Welling to the stand!"

Several minutes later, Emmy stood in front of actor Tom Welling as she said, "And would you like to tell the court why you never wore the Superman suit in Smallville." Then Tom Welling said, "Well as I've said many times, we didn't earn that, and that as soon as I put on the suit, the show couldn't continue and..." Then Emmy with anger yelled, "Come on. You couldn't have worn the full suit on camera for like five minutes in the finale!? And heck, what was the deal with not even wearing the suit when you returned for Crisis on Infinite Earths!?" Then a nervous Tom Welling said, "Well I wanted to show a version of Clark Kent that was retired and got everything he wanted and..." Then Emmy bitterly yelled, "Oh come on! Superman doesn't retire! He's freaking Superman! You let down all my fan girl dreams just because you're secretly afraid of spandex! I want that secret photo of you wearing a Superman suit that I know Michael Rosenbaum once took of you." Then Tom Welling reluctantly handed Emmy a photo of him in a Superman suit. A smiling Emmy then said, "Awesome. Now I'd like to call to the stand... Warner Brothers CEO David Zaslav."

Emmy stood in front of Warner Brothers CEO David Zaslav as she said, "And don't you admit that despite not having the highest budget, it would've been epic to see Michael Keaton return as Batman, and JK Simmons with him as Commissioner Gordon. Plus, you've seen Leslie Grace's work. She would've brought in tons of money with her performance. I want you to give the fans the cancelled Batgirl 2022 film immediately! The fans deserve it!" David Zaslav sighed and then reluctantly handed Emmy a blu-ray disc. Emmy looking extremely happy then said, "All-right! I now call to the stand... whoever was running the ABC network back in 1995."

Emmy stood in front of a man in a suit as she bitterly said, "I don't care if I wasn't born yet when My So Called Life was cancelled. It was a terrific show ahead of its time, and you need to pay every fan of that show at least ten thousand bucks in emotional damages for the hurt we felt when we realized the show was shorter than it should've been. Starting with me." The man looking ashamed, then handed Emmy then thousand dollars, and then Emmy happily said, "No further questions your honor." Then Emmy sat down next to Sophia holding a stack of money, a photograph, and a blu-ray disc as she said, "Wow. I did really well today." Then an upset looking Sophia said, "But none of that helped me! Uggh. This entire series of events I'm going through feels so contrived. It's almost feels like a silly story some writer made up who was running out of ideas." Then Emmy with a thoughtful look said, "But if that's true, the imagination can only be pushed so far. If our lives are being written by someone, maybe our lives then are the work of a writer trying to sort through their own difficulties, and based your encounter with a Russian mobster over their encounter with a Russian mobster." Then Sophia sighed and said, "Well... it looks like we're about to see how the story of my life and theirs ended." Then the judge looked at everyone as he said, "Now then... I have reached a verdict. When it comes to the case of Boris Putinsky vs Insignificant Girl Named Sophia, I find in favor of...

We're sorry. Unfortunately the writer of the story: "Fun But Shy Girl" disappeared before she could finish writing this tale. The police are still looking for her, and all that was found in her apartment was this unfinished story on her computer. Luckily, her little seven year old brother: "Silly But Wacky Boy" has decided to help tell his sister's (maybe) final work by finishing this story for her. We hope you enjoy the special ending he's made.

Then the judge looked at everyone as he said, "Now then... I have reached a verdict. When it comes to the case of Boris Putinsky vs Insignificant Girl Named Sophia, I find in favor of... BIG ROBOT BATTLE!" THEN GIANT ROBOTS SHOW UP AND SAY wE ARE HERE TO BATTLE. THEN PIKACHU CAME AND BEAT UP BIG ROBOTS. THEN HE USED SUPER SMASH BALL TO GET SUPER STRONG AND FOUGHT SKYLANDERS! RED RANGER WHO IS MY FAVORITE THAN CAME AND SAVE PIKACHU FROM EVIL SKETALON MONSTER! THEN SONIC THE HEDGEHOG APPEARED WITH KNUCKLES AND HIS NEW BABY BROTHER RACKLES WHO IS A CHARACTER I MADE UP AND IS THE BEST CHARACTER EVER! SONIC WENT LIKE ZOOOOOOM AND MADE MONSTER FALL DOWN. THEN WE SEE JUDGE SAY SUPER HEROES ARE THE COOLEST AND SOPHIA IS LIKE SAYING YOU ARE MY HEROS! THEN SOPHIA KISSED PIKACHU AND MARRY HIM BUT THEY DONT KISS BECAUSE PIKACHU DONT LIKE COOTIES AND THEY GET MARRIED BECAUSE SOPHIA TURNED INTO GIRL PIKACHU AND EVERYONE IS HAPPLY EVER AFTER!

THE ENDE!