The next time I woke up on the couch, it was to the smell of pancakes and bacon.

Mia was tipped back in her kitchen chair and, seeing me awake, she greeted me with, "So, I understand you have some catching up to do. I'll take you out for your first driving lesson of the day as soon as you have some breakfast in you."

"Um…" I groggily sat up and looked around for help, but the only other sentients there were Ironhide, Samuel, and Mikaela. "...Ratchet would probably have a cow if I tried that with this hip."

Ironhide snorted in amusement, and Mia said, "That old busybody can go frag himself."

"But...um…" Learning to ride Arcee's bike was intimidating enough. Mia's temper was legendary. "Where's Arcee?"

"She and 'Bee are on a morning patrol. And you can't weasel out of this that easily."

"It's not that, it's just…" Cringing slightly, I said, "Ask Arcee how many times I choked her engine. It was a ton."

Mia crossed her arms and beadily glared at me. "I do weapons testing for Wheeljack. Believe me, there's nothing you could do to me – fighting femme or not – that I can't handle."

"Okay...but I don't want to torture you or Arcee that way again. Bumblebee was going to start teaching me."

The feet of Mia's chair hit the floor with a whack, and she rose to her feet. "Fine, be that way," she grumbled as she headed for the front door.

Just great. This day was already a mess and I hadn't even put my feet on the floor yet.

...

By the time I got out of the shower, 'Bee and Arcee were back. I heard 'Bee's voice as I got dressed, and Mom caught me in a hug when I stepped out into the living room.

Glancing around, I asked, "Where are Mia and Hyde?"

Mom's eyes sparkled in amusement, though there were shadows under them from last night's lost sleep. "Don't worry, you're safe. They went on a grocery run."

I deflated in relief, and she chuckled, extending her hand for the brush I held. "Come on, let's get you ready, pack you a sack lunch, and then you and Bumblebee can head out before they get back."

I eagerly looked over at his "Cam Romero" holoform, and he grinned and nodded. "Arcee mentioned you'd like a driving lesson on a vehicle that won't endanger that hip."

"Yes. Please. Thank you." Remembering Mom being all emotional when I first asked for a driving lesson last year, I looked worriedly back at her. She was all smiles though – pretending last night didn't happen. How many nights had she done that for me?

Mom didn't let me dwell on it too long. She guided me to sitting on the couch and started brushing my damp hair.

Just a few minutes later, I was ready to go, and 'Bee and I headed out for my lesson. I felt a weight of dread hit me as my tennis shoes touched down in the front yard. It wasn't irrigated, so it was all whacked-down weeds and dirt. Dry, dusty dirt. And we'd be practicing my driving skills here on the ranch, where everything was dirt roads.

"Problem?" Arcee asked in her bike-bot form beside me.

"Nothing I can't solve," Cam Romero answered with a wink at me and held out a tin box of really strong breath mints.

I gratefully took one and popped it in my mouth. Through the open window, he tossed the tin onto the passenger seat.

"Better?" he asked.

I nodded, and the driver's side door popped open on its own. The holoform had disappeared, and through the radio, 'Bee said, "Let's go!"

A smile spread across my face despite myself, and I slid into the driver's seat. He rolled the windows up – probably to keep the dust out. As soon as I was buckled in, he said, "Okay, let's start with just the steering. That's probably the most intuitive anyway. I'll control speed and braking, so you just focus on direction. Sound good?"

"Sounds good."

We rolled forward and out onto the dirt track that would lead us back to the main house. 'Bee went nice and slow, and I was easily able to maneuver around the larger rocks that sometimes showed up in the road. (It was clearly used by pickups far more often than muscle cars.)

We were coming up on the turnoff that would lead up to the reservoir, and I decided I wanted to go that way. I started to panic when I realized I didn't know how to turn on the blinker. "Uh...where's the turn signal?"

"Right here," Bumblebee answered, moving it once so I could find it. I switched it on, and he slowed through the turn. As we climbed toward the reservoir, I sighed deeply in relief. "Arcee was right – mechs are easier."

He chuckled. "She's right about most things."

I drove us up to the cottonwood grove near the reservoir and lightly touched the brakes. Bumblebee rolled to a stop in the shade. "Everything okay?"

"I just wanted to stretch my legs for a minute. Catch my breath, you know?"

"Sure," he easily agreed, and I climbed out.

He started transforming, and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. My breath caught, and my pulse started thundering again. For the life of me, though, I wasn't sure why. Trying to regain control, I told past-myself, I'm okay.

But my panic kept rising. I frantically babbled on in my head, He's okay. Half the mechs who attacked us are dead. Shockwave had his aft handed to him. Bumblebee's better than okay – he has his voice again. We're all okay. Optimus saved us. Arcee saved 'Bee. We're all okay. We're all okay. I closed my eyes and tried to force my body to calm down by slowing my breathing.

After a few deep breaths, I gave up and started panting again. "It's no use," I whined, sitting on a rock and putting my head between my knees to keep from getting light-headed. "Don't tell my folks," I pleaded. I didn't want the vacation to end early – again – because of me.

Warm metal caught me, picked me up, and I started sobbing as the memory broke through to overwhelm the present – Decepticons holding me, crushing me, fully intending to kill me. I curled into the fetal position and pressed my clenched fists against my forehead to stop the trembling.

A light touch brushed over my head and down my back, over and over. Eventually the more rational part of my brain recognized through my terror and crying that it was Bumblebee, stroking my hair. I focused on his touch – unsuccessfully at first, but gradually his gentle, soothing motion became more real to my body than the memories. I didn't dare open my eyes again, but I could feel that he had me cupped in his hand and held close to his chassis. The welcome warmth from his frame helped ease the last of my tremors. After another couple of minutes, my breathing fell in sync with the rhythm of his caress.

"I'm so sorry, Firebrand," he softly said.

"It was my stupid idea to come back here," I murmured. "It's not your fault I'm glitched."

"Actually, it kind of is."

I half-smiled, remembering that therapy session when I got so angry. "Nope. Decepticons are the slaggers who did this to me."

"If I had been the one to make a break for it, I could have carried you and your mom, too. Sending Arcee away made sense tactically since I'm the heavier hitter and letting Sam get captured wasn't an option, but it was still my call to make. I'm the one who made the choice that led to your suffering."

"You did the right thing, 'Bee," I said, reaching out to press my palm against his warm metal. Whatever was freaking out my subconscious, it had to do with seeing him in his base form. I needed to work through this with him. "I'm not mad at you. I was for a while, until Dad and Dr. Sarkisian helped me understand, but not anymore. I forgive you."

The words echoed in my bones, I forgive you!

"It's okay," I added. "We're all okay." We're all okay, I repeated in my mind. We're all okay. It felt good to be more in control of my body again.

The growing sound of a motorcycle's engine was like fingernails on a blackboard, and it made me shudder. So much for self-control.

"Firebrand," Arcee softly said, and the sound made me jump. A part of me thought she shouldn't be here because she should be keeping Samuel and Mikaela safe, but I also knew she shouldn't be here because she couldn't transform. It took a few seconds for my mental image of her to shift from a black bike carrying the Witwicky's to the pink component with her R.C. holoform aboard to the bike-bot form she was stuck in now.

"Firebrand," she repeated, closer this time, and I felt her lighter touch replace Bumblebee's stroking my hair. "Annabelle."

"I'm here, mostly," I said, and I was proud of myself that there was no waver in my voice. "Something about 'Bee in his base form set me off. Caught me by surprise is all."

"Would you like me to transform and bring you home?" Bumblebee asked.

"Maybe in a few minutes," I said. "Arcee, I know you're monitoring my vitals. Don't tell Mom or Dad."We're all okay. "Or Ratchet. I want you to delete the record from my watch."

"Why?" Arcee asked, a hint of suspicion in her voice.

I swallowed hard, exhausted from the shaking and from fighting my own body. "I don't want anyone else to see how weak I am." I'm okay. We're all okay. My pulse was accelerating again at the thought of disappointing everyone, and I took another deep, regulating breath.

"You aren't weak," Bumblebee said, but there was steel in his voice that surprised me.

"Yeah, yeah. I know, I was traumatized." Deep breath. "And now I've pointlessly shot myself in the foot by coming back here again too soon."

"You were stronger than you know that day," Bumblebee said. "And more good came of it than you realize."

Smirking despite myself, I said, "Like a bond between you two?"

"That's part of it," Arcee slowly said. "How did you know we share a bond?"

"I dunno. It's just the way you act around each other now. 'Bee used to rely on quotes or the comm and you'd talk. Now you just share meaningful looks all the time."

"Does your mom know?" Arcee asked.

"Not that she's told me," I answered. "But I don't think she would if it's supposed to be a secret."

There were a few seconds of silence, and I knew they were sharing another meaningful look. With a half-hearted chuckle, I sat up and, leaning my back against Bumblebee's chassis, opened my eyes to see Arcee. "You never told her?" I asked.

Arcee shook her head. "Bumblebee protects Samuel. If it were known that a Prime's bodyguard and guardian could be incapacitated by harming me…"

I nodded, seeing where she was going. "But Dad knows?"

"Yes, as a tactical matter. Most 'bots formed their bonds before the War and the Decepticons have always been aware of them. Since ours is so new, the longer it can remain hidden, the longer it can be a tactical advantage, or at least, not a disadvantage."

Leaning my head back against Bumblebee, I said, "Well, belated congratulations, you guys."

"Thank you," Arcee said with a smile.

"There's another reason we're keeping our bond a secret," 'Bee said above me. "And that reason is so classified that your dad doesn't know. Not even Prowl knows."

I tilted my head so that I could see his blue optics out of the corner of my eye. "Whoa."

"Yeah. But you deserve to know."

Arcee's armor started shifting, her chassis opening up like that horrific day almost a year ago. But this time my eyes adjusted to the brilliance, and I could see the shimmering, dancing orb that was her spark. But my awe faded to dismay when I realized there was another orb in her spark chamber, smaller and brighter white. Had she been injured somehow? Was that why she couldn't transform? "Arcee, what happened to your spark? Did a piece break off?"

She chuckled. "Not exactly. That larger, blue spark is mine. And the white one...belongs to my son."

"Your son?"

"Well, actually, he's both mine and Bumblebee's."

I covered my mouth with both my hands in surprise, and sudden tears of joy welled up in my eyes as I understood what I was seeing. "You two have a kid?!"

"There's still a lot we can't tell you," 'Bee gravely said, "but you sacrificed the most in blood and heart that day to keep me alive. Even now, a whole year later, you're paying a price that helped purchase both my life and my son's. I...I guess I felt guilty, and I wanted you to know what it was exactly that your sacrifice bought. So yeah, our bond and our son's existence are kept under strict need-to-know classified, but Arcee and I agree that you need to know."

Looking up at him, I said, "But this is a big deal, right? I mean, like, this is huge for all the Autobots."

He smiled, doorwings lifting, and I realized that I hadn't reacted badly to the sight. They'd given me an infinitely better shock than the 'cons. "Yes, this is huge, to both the Autobots and the Decepticons. The last time a sparkling was created was before you humans domesticated livestock. That's why it's got to remain a secret for now. Cybertronians aren't like humans. We don't get pregnant. Be… our son should be in his own frame, but we don't have the resources to get one for him right now. He's basically feeding off Arcee's own spark, and it makes the situation dangerous for them both."

I looked over at Arcee and her son and began tearing up again. "Wow!"

"My feelings exactly," Arcee said, stepping closer. "And as far as I'm concerned, he's worth the risk. You'll get to know him someday, I promise, but he's already quite fond of you. This is what your courage helped buy, Firebrand. Spitfire reported that the Decepticons didn't stop attacking 'Bee until you and your mom fought back. Another minute or two of that kind of punishment might have resulted in 'Bee extinguishing before Samuel and I arrived. Your suffering bought the life of both my mate and my sparkling. Our little mechling is a hidden hope right now, but he is hope incarnate for our race – that's what you gave us all." Her armor began moving again, closing up to protect both her and her sparkling. "This knowledge won't end your panic attacks entirely, I know, but 'Bee and I both hope it gives meaning to your suffering and makes it more bearable."

Meaning. So that's what she'd meant all those months ago!

I rose to standing in 'Bee's hand and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thank you!"

He cupped his free hand over my shoulders, cradling me almost. "We're glad to, Firebrand."

When I let him go, he set me back on my feet, and I wrapped my arms around Arcee's waist, resting my head against her chassis. I hadn't done it intentionally, but my cheek was right above her spark chamber, where Cybertron's hope now pulsed away in hiding. "Thank you for trusting me so much."

"Of course, little one." Arcee stroked my hair again, and it felt good.

My heart was all but singing. It wasn't just the knowledge that something really, truly good came out of that horrible day. It meant the world to me that both Arcee and Bumblebee trusted me with this secret even though I was basically glitched.

We're all going to be okay.

That was going to be my new mantra, when I needed to remember what was "now" and what was "then." There was a future for Arcee and Bumblebee, for their sparkling, for every Autobot I loved, and there was a future for me, too.

We're all going to be okay.

...

Arcee and Bumblebee soaked up some rays while I ate my lunch, and then we headed out to practice driving a bit more.

'Bee transformed back down into his Camaro form (with his windows rolled up again to keep the dust out) and popped his door open in invitation. "You up to driving?"

"Yeah, as long as I get to DJ, too."

"Deal."

I climbed into the driver's seat and found the song I wanted on my phone. Connecting up to the Bluetooth, I set my phone aside and put my hands on the wheel. I think 'Bee recognized the song, because he peeled out on the gravel road for me.

It had been a while since I listened to it, so I didn't remember a lot of the words, but I felt the chorus on a cellular level as I belted it out at the top of my lungs.

"I, I did it all

I owned every second that this world could give

I saw so many places, the things that I did

Yeah with every broken bone

I swear I lived!"

The bass was thumping, and I gave 'Bee more gas, making him leap forward. The thrill of speed and just being alive made my heart thunder again, but this time it was for all the right reasons.

…

I had two fences to mend after dinner. Mom and Dad were washing dishes, and I offered to help by drying what Mom washed and rinsed. (Dad put the dishes away.) As we finished up, I asked her, "Can you and me go for a ride together up to the reservoir?"

She sighed and, with a half-smile, answered, "Sure."

Looking over to where the other grownups were talking over cards, I called out, "Hey Mia, can you give me and Mom a lift?"

"Only if you're driving!" she shot back.

"That was the idea," I said with a grin.

She folded her hand of cards and all but jumped to her feet, leading the way through the front door. 'Bee and Arcee were hanging out in the front yard, talking over their bond, I assumed, since they weren't talking out loud.

Arcee watched with crossed arms as we walked to Chromia's alt. "Are you sure about this, Firebrand?"

"I'll just be steering, not working the clutch," I told both femmes.

Mia heaved a long-suffering sigh before blinking out of existence.

"Heads up!" Arcee called, and I turned to see two helmets in her hands. Mom laughed at that for some reason, but easily caught the one Arcee tossed to her. The femme winked at me before tossing me mine. "Grind her gears if she gives you any guff."

"Shut up," Chromia said, still in her alt.

I pulled on my helmet and then glanced at Mom, but she just gestured for me to hop on first. Steeling my courage, I climbed aboard. As Mom mounted behind me, I took a second to check in with my emotions. A little anxious, a little excited, but none of the dread from earlier.

"OH!" I glanced over at 'Bee. "Mints?"

He pulled the tin from subspace and tossed it to me. "Keep it, kiddo."

I grinned and nodded my thanks. Taking one for myself, I held out the tin for Mom to take one, too. Accepting one, she added, "Stop stalling."

"Right." I faced forward, I gripped the handles, let my breath out slowly and said, "Alright, Chromia. Let's go."

I half-expected her to peel out like Bumblebee had up at the reservoir earlier, but she actually took her time. My pulse slowed to a rate where I didn't even notice it anymore.

"You know, you could also practice with the accelerator and the brake," Chromia said. "I won't make you frag around with the clutch like Arcee did."

"You sure?" I asked.

"I won't let us crash," she promised. "Just hang on to those handlebars, no matter what. And Spitfire, hang on to Firebrand."

"With a grip stronger than death."

"Sheesh, that was overdramatic," Chromia grumbled. "Go ahead and try giving my engine a little more gas, Firebrand."

My nervousness bubbled up again, but I slowly turned the throttle. The wind poured over my skin like water and I laughed out loud in delight. Even at these speeds, though, I easily avoided those big rocks in the road.

As we approached the turn-off for the reservoir, Chromia said, "When we turn, lean with my alt. You want to stay perpendicular to your seat, not to the road. Make sense?"

"I have ridden a motorcycle before," I reminded her.

"No, you haven't. You've ridden an Autobot. I'm training you for driving human-built vehicles now, and no mere motorcycle is going to compensate for you like we all sometimes do."

"Okay, fine."

Whether it was just habit or her reminder, I leaned with Chromia's bike through the turn, and she said, "Good job!"

I had to turn the throttle even more in the climb up to the reservoir, and her engine purred in appreciation of the challenge. Chromia still behaved herself, though, when I gently squeezed her brake to a halt under the cottonwoods.

"Well, here we are," Chromia announced. "The reservoir."

I held still while Mom dismounted and was pleased to notice that the anxiety was way lower than when we started. I climbed off Chromia's alt, too, and pulled off my helmet.

"It's going to be a pretty sunset," Mom said, looking to the west. "The clouds are perfect."

"That's…not why I asked to come up here with you."

She sighed and glanced my way. "I know. You're probably curious about last night."

"A little. I mean, you don't have to explain it. I know what that was, Mom. Maybe not all the specifics, but I've been there. I know what it's like when you can't hold it in anymore and the sobs just rip through you."

Mom swallowed hard and looked down.

"And you were there for me through it all. You held me together that awful day when I was going into shock. And afterward, you made space for me, you let everybody focus on me, let me be the center of everyone's attention so I could feel loved and find the healing I needed."

"You needed it. You deserved it." She started wiping away tears, and I put my arms around her.

"But we're in this together, Mom. We have been every step of the way. You don't have to make yourself smaller anymore. I'm going to be okay. I know that now. We're going to be okay." I thought briefly of Arcee and her sparkling and realized we were all on this journey together in different ways. "You can focus on taking care of yourself now, too. You don't have to take care of me anymore."

She curled in on herself, doubling over, and the sobs ripped through her again.

"Chromia!" I shouted, panicked by Mom's reaction.

The femme transformed and hurried over. Together, we guided her to the same rock where I'd sat earlier today. Chromia rested a hand on Mom's shoulder, but she started shrieking and pushing us both away.

Chromia swore under her breath. Her gaze flitted to mine. "This is what you did when we stopped on the way up here."

This was what I did? Her sobs had grown more shrill, almost bordering on a scream. She was curled up so tightly that her chest was on her knees, and she was covering the back of her head with her hands like she expected someone to hit her. I wanted to run away, but this was my mom and I couldn't just leave her like this!

Chromia backed away from her and then dropped down into her alt.

Her holoform appeared beside me. "Your dad's on his way. He says to keep her as safe and comfortable as possible until he gets here."

"How are we supposed to do that?!"

"Make sure she doesn't hit her head or choke, mostly," Mia said over Mom's sobs. "You should try to comfort her."

"I'm the one who made her do all this!"

"Then you're the one who can fix it. You've had all those sessions with Sarkisian. Put them to good use."

"No pressure." I grimaced, unsure of what to do.

She'd freaked out when I told her she could focus on herself. So maybe I needed to make her focus on me again? But not in a bad way. It had to be something good – like she did for me after I collapsed. She'd pillowed my head and stroked my hair.

I sat beside her, but when I tried to touch her, she flinched and pushed me away again. She didn't know it was me – she was too deep into the flashback.

What part of that horrible day would she be stuck in that would make her react like that? She hadn't screamed when we got caught or when her ankle was broken or even when my hip was squished. Or at least, I don't think she had. It was hard to remember with her shrieking beside me like someone had just…oh. Like someone had died. Like I'd died. She'd been immobilized by Mirage's nanites just like I had. Maybe she'd also thought she was dead back then?

"Mom, I'm okay," I said, leaning lower so I could talk in her ear. "I'm okay, I'm alive and well."

Her only response was another wrenching groan of a sob.

Suddenly I remembered the tin of mints in my pocket and pulled them out. I fumbled as I retrieved a mint and stuck it in my mouth. Then I set the open box on the behind us and far enough away that she wouldn't easily knock it over. Maybe the scent would help her, too.

"Mom, please," I begged. "It's over. We're okay."

"She was strong for you," Mia quietly observed while Mom sucked in a breath.

I turned my head to look at her, and she shrugged. "Maybe what she needs is for you to need her."

I blinked as I processed that thought and then turned back to Mom. "Please, I need you. I can't do this without you, not really."

Her sobs shifted to these shuddering, sharp breaths. She was bottling it all up again, but all I could feel in the moment was relief.

"Please, Mom, I need your help. Come back to me," I said and reached out to touch her arm.

She flinched again but didn't push me away.

"Help me," I said, lowering my voice. "Help me face these demons."

"The Decepticons?" she whispered.

"The Decepticons and what they did to us. I need you with me, Mom. I need us to keep working on this – together. We were together then, and we were together during our physical recovery, and we're together now."

Her breath started to slow and she relaxed a little. Still in a low voice, she said, "I couldn't scream. You…you went limp and…I couldn't scream. I should have made the mom-choice. I should have sent you away. I killed my baby. And I couldn't even cry."

"You're safe," I said, reassured as I stroked her hair. "You can cry now. You can scream if you want." Remembering that line of thinking was what triggered all this, I added, "I need to hear you scream now, if that's what you need to do."

Her shoulders tensed and, lifting her face to the sky, she let out this wail of a scream. It was full of more rage and sorrow than I'd honestly thought her capable of. It was terrifying, but I stayed by her side, even though my own pulse was beating in my ears. When she ran out of wind, she took a deep breath and again screamed her fury at Shockwave and the others. I instinctively draped an arm across her back, pulling her closer. This time, she leaned in willingly, even as she screamed one more time.

She was trembling, but she didn't scream or sob anymore. She didn't talk either, just kept up with the sharp breaths and a kind of hiccup every now and then. I held her like that until we could hear Ironhide's engine making the climb to the reservoir.

"I'm sorry you saw me like that, Annabelle," she softly croaked, her voice rough from the screaming and crying.

"I'm not." I pulled her closer. "Love you."

"Love you, too." One of her hands covering her head moved. She reached out, caught my free hand, and squeezed it tightly. "Thank you."

…

Two weeks after we arrived, we headed home. The Witwicky kids had spent the first week of our vacation with their grandparents at the beach, but they'd come up for the second week. Hound and Trailbreaker had been with them as their guardians, so we had a really full house for the last several days. (Arcee had to stay out of sight while Daemon and Beatrice were there, of course, but 'Bee kept her company most of the time.) They'd all left with Bumblebee a couple of hours ago since they had an earlier flight. It was just me, Mom, Dad, Ironhide, Chromia, and Arcee again.

As we started down the mountain, I swapped out the piece of gum I'd been chewing for a fresh one and offered one to my mom. When we came up on the spot where we'd been ambushed a year ago, I took a deep, calming breath.

"Are you sure about this, Annabelle?" Ironhide asked.

"Really no. Pull over anyway," I answered.

When he rolled to a stop, I didn't open my door at first. I just sat there looking out the window, looking at that line between new and old blacktop. I was like that road – repaired, but I'd never be the same again. So was Mom. But neither would 'Bee and Arcee, and I smiled at the memory of seeing her spark and their son's.

No sacrifice, no victory. It was the Witwicky motto, I knew, but since he was a Prime, I figured a human Autobot could borrow it, too. It really did fit this time.

I opened the door and hopped out.

"Annabelle," Dad called out behind me.

"Firebrand," I said softly. Then more loudly, "I'm Firebrand."

I strode over to that line between new and old and straddled it again. My shoulders were tense, and I took a couple of deep, calming breaths.

Mom scampered out of the truck and hurried over to me. I gave her a tentative smile, and she nodded in encouragement. "Together," she softly said, taking my hand.

I nodded in answer and looked again at the broken rocks we'd sheltered behind more than a year ago. This was a field of battle, a place where I and some of the people I loved most in the world were terrorized and hurt. It was also a place of creation.

Not just a place – it was the place. It was where the first Autobot was created on Earth. It was their first creation in who knew how long. Arcee wasn't hurt, she was making the sacrifice she needed for her victory, for this new creation.

Raising my arms to the sky (including the one holding Mom's hand), I shouted, "We're all going to be okay!"

Beside me, Mom agreed, "Yes, we are."

Author's Endnote: For more about the sparkling, see our fic "Creation."