Part 5. Lair Of The Metal Queen
(Mt Thunderhorn, Driving to the Metal queen's lair)
(Eddie's point of view)
Well, I'm driving back down the Thunderhorn, heading out to the Metal Queen's place to get some new strings so that the Kill Master can save Ophelia.
The Mouth of Metal was now playing 'Queen of Fire' by Ostrogoth. Night was starting to fall. Wonder what kind of cool sky we'll be getting tonight?
I glanced over at my passenger, the Kill Master, who wanted to guide me to the Metal Queen. Oh man, I can't get over how much he looked like the late Lemmy back home. He looked just like him. Even down to the warts on his face.
"Something on your mind, Eddie?" Kill Master asked. "You've been looking at me funny since I got into this, um,. .mine cart of yours. Something wrong with my face? Must be those two warts on my mug. Been meaning to get rid of 'em for a while now."
"It's not the warts, Kill Master." I replied as we turned a corner, "It's just, how do I put this, you look and sound like someone I knew back home. Only he's been dead for a few years now."
"Really?" Kill Master said. "Who was this dude that I look and sound like?" He asked.
So I answered. "Sigh… His name was Ian Fraser Kilmister, A lead singer and bassist for the band 'Motörhead'. But he preferred to call himself 'Lemmy'."
"Is that so?" Kill Master stroked his mustache. "I didn't know I had a double of me out there. Or is it the other way around?"
"I wonder if I'm dead." I pondered. "And this is the rock 'n' roll afterlife?"
"I don't think so." Kill Master replied. "I've been living here for several decades. Since I was a baby. Hell, I knew Lars and Lita since they were kids, Robbie too. I'll admit, I haven't seen 'em in a while. 'Specially Robbie."
Robbie?
"So you're just as old, and having been living here since you were born." I replied. "You're lookin' good for your age."
"Yeah, thanks I guess." Kill Master replied. "Interestingly enough, my name is also Lemmy, but my last name is Frazier, spelled with a z and an i. Thought you oughta now, but I prefer to be called Kill Master."
"Fair enough." I replied.
We drove by some of the places where we fought the Hair Metal Militia and those demons, as well as our wrecked truck. Gonna need to give our fallen comrades a burial as well as try to recover the truck so I can fix it.
Kill Master commented on what a mess it was all was. "You can take your own for burial." Kill Master said. "We'll just give the rest to the tollusks."
Hmmm, what's a tollusk?
Anyway, we reached the foot of the mountain. Kill Master told me to turn north and follow the highway. Is it just me, or do all those spruce trees have big chrome plated spears for trunks? We drove past a sunken motor forge entrance. Raise that relic later, right now, we need those strings.
As we approached our destination, We noticed a glowing tab slab. "Huh? What's the deal with that slab?" Kill Master asked. "Never seen it do that before."
"I might have something to do with it." I replied as I brought the Druid Plow to a stop next to the tab slab and we got out. "They started glowing when I was brought here. Tell you and the Thunderhogs later, after we save Ophelia." I added as I took out Clementine and the Separator.
"Right." Kill Master got his Bass Guitar and sledge hammer.
I approached the tab slab and read the notes as the skull rose up. "Let me see her. Weedle… Deedle… Oh so this solo's called the…
...Facemelter…
...Create a massive shockwave to melt your enemies face…
...Don't look, Marion! Don't look!...
"Well that oughta com in handy." I said to myself.
At that moment, almost as if on cue, a squad of hairbangers showed up. "There he is! Get 'im!" One of them shouted, and they rushed at us, swords and axes drawn.
I think this is as good a time as any to try out this new solo. So readied Clementine and played the Facemelter…
Woah! It looked like their faces were melting off their skulls, kinda like what happened to those nazi dudes in 'Raiders Of The Lost Ark'. All five of 'em collapsed to the ground, dead as disco.
"Well I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that, yuck." Kill Master commented on the mess I just made. "So your guitar can summon that (looks at Druid Plow) mine cart we just rode in on and melt faces, huh?"
"Yeah." I replied. "Not to mention she can cast lightning, set dudes on fire, blow 'em up, and cause earthquakes." I showed him my guitar. "Her name's Clementine, by the way and…"
I thumbed over my shoulder at my car. "And that's the Deuce, AKA the Druid Plow. I'll explain how I got her later."
Kill master examined Clementine from headstock to body. "Nice bit of kit you got there." He commented. "Six string setup. Ebony body and headstock. Cherry neck. Looks like local wood, nice. Strings look a bit frayed I'm afraid. You're gonna need to replace 'em." He handed back Clementine.
I looked at the strings, he's right, they look pretty beat up. Don't know how many solos they got left.
"Well we're not far from the lair's gateway now." Kill Master looked in the direction of the gateway. "Follow me."
As we approached the gateway, we met this lone thunder hog guarding the pass. "I'm headed into the lair of the giant spider queen." I said to him. "Anybody got a problem with that?"
And his reply was... "Nope."
"My friend's dying. I'm heading in there right now." I said.
And he replied with… "Sure go right on ahead."
"You sure you don't want to talk me outta it? No?" I asked.
"Why do I want to?" He replied. "You want to head on in, go right on ahead. Hey, it's your life, dude."
"Okay." I replied. And me and the Kill master walked past him, through the gateway, and into the lair.
"Good luck, dude… Boss."
(The Metal Queen's Lair)
We walked down this pathway that was surrounded on both sides by cliffs and pillars. Overhead, large chains and rock slabs stretched across connecting the pillars, occasionally used as walkways by those silver spiders.
We soon entered an open area. There were rock carvings that almost looked viking-like… You know, carved by ancient vikings. We saw several silver spiderwebs as the fog began to close in. We also saw several wrapped cocoons of various sizes hanging from said webs. Some of 'em were still wriggling.
I pulled out my axe to cut open one of those cocoons to try to free whoever's trapped inside. But Kill Master stopped me by placing his on my shoulder. "Don't cut 'em." He warned.
"But…" I started to object.
"They're more likely to be full of baby spiders chowing down in whoever's wrapped up in here." Kill Master warned. "And they'll just as easily swarm over you and strip you to the bone. Besides I'm certain those were Lionwhyte loyalists or demons wrapped up in there. Best to keep moving. Sure are a lot of 'em that's for sure."
"Right." I agreed. And we pressed on deeper into the canyon…
XXX
As we pressed on, I noticed a lot more webs stretching overhead, and the fog was getting thicker. Then we heard some hissing noises up ahead. Out of the fog scuttled several large silver spiders, eyes glowing red.
"Who dared to enter our domain?" One of them asked. Waitaminute… They can talk!?
"Did I mention that the large one can talk?" Kill Master said to me. Oh now he tells me.
"Kill Master…" One of the spiders addressed. "You dare to return here? After our sovereign queen had declared that you and your Thunderhogs to be enemies of our domain. To be killed and consumed by her children and you to be bitten in twain and consumed by her highness herself."
"Yeah, I'm kinda here to see her." Kill master replied. "Need to get me some new strings. Maybe find out why she's acting all bitchy and stuff."
"Oh, you will find out, Kill Master." The lead spider said, pointing one of his forelegs at him. ".Once we bring you to her so that she may bite you in two, suck out your innards and use your skull as a breeding chamber for our future brothers and sisters. IN THE NAME OF THE METAL QUEEN! SEIZE THEM!"
One on 'em jumped at me and ensnared me in its limbs. I was trying to keep it from biting into my neck! "Get the fuck offa me you eight legged…"
*WHAM*
"Freak?" I said just as Kill Master knocked it off of me and sent it flying into a wall. I was about to pull out clementine to shock the remaining two… Um make that one. Looks like Kill master clobbered the one that tried to grab him with that sledge hammer of his.
"Save your strings, Eddie! I've got this git." He breaks out his bass guitar, and does an earthshaker that causes a powerful, and loud, shockwave that sends the remaining spider flying.
"WAIT TIL OUR QUEEN HEARS OF THIS!" The last spider shouted as he flew outta sight.
"I got a feeling she already has." Kill Master strapped his guitar and hammer onto his back. "You okay?" He asked me.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered. "Man those things are fast."
"No kidding." Kill Master replied. "You gotta have good reflexes when dealing with those dudes. Let's keep moving. Lair shouldn't be too far ahead."
We continued on deeper into the lair. We fought another group of silver spiders. Kill Master shocked two of 'em while I chopped another three into a buncha spider parts. Found out that blocking 'em when they jump at ya stuns 'em long enough for me to finish 'em off with the good ol' Separator.
It wasn't long before we made our way into a large clearing. At the far end we see this large web with large runes woven into it. Man that web would make for a really cool album cover. Not to mention it looked like it has just the strings we needed.
"These the strings you looking for?" I asked.
"That's them." Kill Master nodded. We approached the web. "Doesn't look like her highness is around." He looked left and right. "Let's get the strings and scram before she…"
"KILL MASTER!" A loud haughty sounding female voice shouted, Interrupting Kill Master.
"Shows up? Oh great. Just great." Kill master and me looked in the direction that new voice came from, And were face to face with one fucking huge silver spider! She glared down at us with her six glowing red eyes. Her silver exoskeleton was dressed black studded latex strips that looked pretty S&Mish… "Look who just showed up."
"So, Kill Master…" The giant spider spoke. "You dare to enter my domain, despite my royal decree that you and your Thunderhogs are forbidden to enter on pain of death and consumption."
"Hey there, Metal Queen." Kill Master greeted back. "Long time no see. That a new look? Didn't know you were into S&M."
"SILENCE!" The metal Queen shouted back. "I know why you've come to this place. You clearly wish to take my strings. For that crime, both you and that Thunderhog accompanying you shall die at my fangs and your skulls will make fine brood chambers."
She thinks I'm a Thunderhog? "Hey whoa there!" I replied. "Okay, we would've asked nicely for some of your giant strings. But it's clear to us now that you don't strike us as the negotiating type, so out of respect, I'll just right to the ass- kicking." I smacked my fist into my palm to show that I meant business and pulled out the separator.
"So be it." The Metal Queen replied. "MY MISTRALS! PLAY ME SOMETHING APPROPRIATE AS I BITE THOSE TWO FOOLS IN HALF, CONSUME THEIR INNARDS, AND LAY MY EGGS IN THEIR EYE SOCKETS!" *shudder*
Then we saw this band of silver spiders up on this ledge take up their instruments. "As you wish, your majesty." The 'lead singer' bowed as he readied this wicked looking twin headed 12 string guitar and adjusted his microphone. "And I know just the song for the occasion! Follow my lead boys!" He began strumming that guitar…
If I didn't know any better I could've sworn he was playing the intro to…
(BGM; Cry Of The Banshee by Brocas Helm)
Holy shit! They really are playing Brocas Helm's 'Cry Of The Banshee'! And, oh man, Those spiders are fucking awesome! But that's not what's on my mind right now…
'Cause right now, me and Kill master suddenly had to dodge left and right respectively to avoid those slashing forelegs of hers. I managed to get behind her and tried to whack her abdomen with the separator…
Only to have her suddenly spin around and whack me with her right forelimb, sending me flying across the clearing.
Then she started spitting liquid chrome at me. I managed to dodge the spit, then I noticed that it was eating into the rock behind me.
Just then, Kill Master let loose an earthshaker with his bass guitar, knocking the Metal Queen off balance. Which caused her, um, headdress I think to fall off, revealing some kind of device on her head, Looked like a pair of rusty engines covered in S&M paraphernalia attached to her head.
"What the…" Kill Master said when he noticed that contraption. Then he played his own version of the shocker solo electrocuting the device and stunned the Metal Queen. Then he rushed up to her and, with his sledgehammer, started whacking at that contraption on her back as though he was trying to knock it off. He only got about three or four whacks in before the Metal Queen suddenly got back on her eight legs and swatted him across the floor.
"HOW DARE YOU YOU ATTACK MY REGAL PERSON WITH SUCH A CRUDE HAMMER!" The metal Queen bellowed than she spat several globs of that chrome venom at him. Kill Master managed to doge the spit. Then The Metal Queen leaped clear across the clearing and seized him in her forelimbs. "Now you shall…"
Well she never got to finish due to yours truly distracting her with a shocker solo.
"EEGOBBLIGOBBLIGOBBLIGOBBLI.!" The metal Queen shook violently from Clementine's electricity coursing through her, making her release Kill Master. "Why you!" She turned to face me. "You wish to die first? SO BE IT!"
"EDDIE! You saw that weird device on her head?" Kill Master shouted. "Get it offa her! I think it's controlling her and making her act like that!"
"Oh shut up!" The metal Queen spun around, Grabbed Kill Master again and wrapped him up in a cocoon of silver strings and attached him to the wall. "I'll end you in a moment, Kill Master. Once I deal with your lackey!" Then she went after me, jumping towards me. I had to block her with the separator to keep her from impaling me with those wicked forelimbs..
For the next few minutes we fought back and forth. The metal Queen with her forelimbs, mandibles, venom spit, silver nets and sometimes siccing her soldiers at me while she rested on her web to catch her breath. And me largely using the Separator on her, but only leaving scratches on her body. Her soldiers, however weren't as tough as she was, but, man, were they fast.
And all the while that band of spiders were still playing 'Cry Of The Banshee'.
It was just after I took care of the second wave of soldiers that the Metal Queen leaped from her web and landed in front of me ready to lance me with her forelimbs. But this time, instead of the Separator, I had Clementine out. I played my best shocker solo ever, completely jolting her with raw lightning, and completely destroying my strings in the process, causing her fall on her face and expose that ugly looking device on her head. Up close I could tell that it definitely did not belong on her. So I hacked away at with the Separator. Unlike the rest of her body, my axe was doing serious damage to it. Sparks were flying and high pressure black goo was squirting out from the deep cuts I left in it.
Then it exploded clean off of her, knocking me on my back. The metal Queen got back up on her limbs, let out an ear piercing wail…
Like a Banshee…
And collapsed back down in front of me in a loud thud. Her red eyed had gone completely black.
Oh yeah, and that band wrapped up their song.
I ran over to where Kill master was and cut him free. We turned around to see the Metal Queen's eyes light back up again, only this time, they were blue.
"Uuugh." She moaned as regained her feet. "What… what happened?" She rubbed her forehead. "Huh? Why am I all scratched up? And why am I wearing S&M gear?"
Then she noticed us. "Huh? Kill Master? When did you show up? And where did Doviculus and Lionwhyte go?"
Wait a minute? Did she just say Doviculus and Lionwhyte? "Huh? What happened to my soldiers!?" That's when she noticed a bunch of legless soldiers flopping around on the floor.
"Um, Metal Queen…" Kill Master said. "What was the last thing you remember? You mentioned Doviculus and Lionwhyte. What were they doing there."
The metal Queen rubbed her mandibles with her right forelimb as she pondered in thought.
Then she answered. "Hmmm...Ah yes, the two of them showed up at the main gate and requested an audience with me. So I invited them in to hear what they had to propose. They wanted me and my subjects to supply the Tainted Coil and the newly formed Hair Metal Militia with strings, and sever my alliance with you and Riggnarok."
There's that name again.
"Riggnarok you say. So did you?" Kill Master asked.
"No." The metal Queen answered. "I told them that I would not break my agreement with you, nor shall I give my strings to them. Then Doviculus replied 'I see. I suppose your proposal… Is acceptable.' Next thing I knew I felt something take my headdress off and I felt something...tainted land on my head. Then I suddenly felt strange. I felt jolts and I blacked out. Next thing I knew is seeing you here, along with this stranger. I'm wearing all this kinky bondage apparel. And several of my soldiers are flopping around legless."
"Hey there, for the record…" I interrupted. "You did sic them at me while you were trying to kill me and Kill Master here."
"I...I did?" The Metal Queen asked. "Is this true?"
"'Fraid so, luv." Kill Master answered. "Not to mention you swore to bite me in half, eat my innards, and lay eggs in my sockets if I ever showed up here. Which was roughly 30 years ago."
"30 years!?" The metal queen gasped. "Well, I suppose that might explain why you look a bit...older all of a sudden."
"Was that how long that was on your noggin?" I asked, pointing the separator at that pile of smoking scrap I recently hacked off her head.
The Metal Queen looked at said scrap pile. "So. That what that demon did. He and Lionwhyte must have used it to control my mind. Make me loyal to them. And share in their unclean tastes. I'm rather surprised I didn't have a rubber gag ball wedged between my mandibles. Ugh. I do suppose I should thank you both for freeing me from their foul influence. And, might I ask, What has brought you here, Kill Master?"
"We need to get some of your strings." Kill Master answered.
"My strings?" The Metal queen asked.
"We need 'em so I can heal up this chick that this guy, Lars and Lita brought to my pad to be healed." Kill master answered. "My spiders can't make 'em thick enough for me to heal her injuries."
"I see, Kill Master." The Metal Queen nodded.
"So can we have 'Em, please?" Kill Master asked politely.
"You shall have them." The Metal Queen answered. "Just give me a moment or two to spin the strings you require…"
Then she began to spin out a spool of her webbing using her forelimbs to draw it from her spinnerets while casually humming away a tune. After a few minutes, she placed a decent size spool of her thread in front of us. "Here you are."
"Thanks, your highness." Kill Master bowed slightly. "I'll put it to good use."
"I'm certain you will." The Metal Queen replied.
"Oh man…" I suddenly realized. "We may have finally gotten the strings, but it took way too much time. If we're gonna get these strings back to your place in time, Kill Master, We're gonna have to BOOK!"
"I know, Eddie." Kill Master agreed. "Think you can summon your… Hey, hold on!" Then he noticed something in the webs. "Is that my trike?" He noticed this three wheeled motorcycle half buried in a web cocoon. "I was wondering what happened to it."
"How did that end up here?" The Metal Queen asked. "No matter. If I took it from you, I now return it."
Okay. So I used the Separator to free the trike from the webbing and gave it a quick check…
Look pretty good for being buried in webbing for a few decades. Even has a mouth of metal radio. "Looks like she just needs some fresh fuel" I said.
Then one of the spiders came up to me holding a large jug of moonshine. "Will this do?" He asked, giving me the jug. I poured the 'shine into the tank and, after a few moments of turning the engine over, we finally got it to start. Well it ain't pretty. Let's hope it's fast.
We loaded up the strings. Kill Master hook the handlebars as I got myself in the rear seat. He gunned the throttle and peeled on outta there as the trike's mouth of metal played…
(BGM; Road Racing by Riot)
Well I did hope that was fast, and sure enough, with Kill Master at the handlebars, that big old trike was. Despite carrying two grown dudes, and a big spool of the Metal Queen's strings. We raced up a reasonably wide pathway and ramped out and onto the main road leading back to Mt Thunderhorn. In moments we drove back up the twisting pathway and returned to the Thunderhogs lair. And, would you believe, Lars and Lita were still arguing. They stopped arguing when they heard us roll up.
"Edward… Where have you and the Kill Master been?" Lars asked.
"Oh, nowhere special." I replied as we got off the trike. "Just visiting the Metal Queen, got her to come to her senses. Oh yeah, we got this here spool of thick spider strings from her as a gift." I thumbed back to the spool in question.
Oh man the, the look on their faces. Heh heh heh.
It didn't too long for Kill Master to re-wire his healing instrument with the new strings. "Nice." He ran his hands up and down the strings. "Thick as a baby's arm."
Me, Lars and Lita stood around Ophelia as she still laid on the healing altar. Oh man! She's not lookin good, lemme tell you.
Kill Master cracked his fingers and knuckles and began to play. Whoa! The healing tunes he now played sounded more deeper and stronger than last time. Ophelia began to glow and bright sparkles rose from her as the wounds disappeared from her body.
Then Ophelia slowly opened her eyes. "Lars…" She looked at Lars as he stood over her. "I can always count on you, can't I?"
"I'm afraid I can't take the credit for this." Lars shook his head. "Edward and the Kill Master were the ones who retrieved the strings needed to heal you. It's them you should thank, not me."
"Eddie?" Ophelia asked.
"Yeah, I got the strings." I answered.
"I see… Thank you." Ophelia smiled.
"Hey, you're welcome." Then I turned my attention to Kill Master. "You know, we could really use guys like you and your men in our band." I said to him. "I mean army."
"I ain't much of a joiner." Kill master replied. "But I'll do anything if it pisses off Lionwhyte. Bring your wounded up here before they die and I'll heal 'em all."
"Alright." I nodded. "Come see us in Bladehenge sometime. Got some new t-shirts coming in. I'll totally hook you up."
"Oh yeah, that reminds me." Kill Master replied. "Before you go, can I look at your guitar? I'm going to have my little darlings hook you up with some new strings…"
End part 5
Author's Notes:
Well, that's it for chapter 5.
I thought it would be interesting to have the silver spiders talk and the Metal Queen revealed to have been under control of the Tainted Coil until Eddie and Kill Master came looking for her strings.
Next chapter, Eddie, Kill Master, and Ophelia(now that she's back on her feet) go boar hunting for craft items.